The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..

Monday, June 19, 2017

Standing waves on central flame

Intent has helped a lot.

Attempted to pump sexual energy up the spine on Saturday. A few blockages in the head gave way with crackling sounds.

Made fresh salad with sea salt yesterday. That, and meditated in front of the mirror for perhaps 45 min. In addition to sensing the space-time shift around me, I saw other peoples' faces emerging from mine. People whom I had associated myself with. People whose burdens I had taken for myself to carry. Relaxed and the central flame burned away some of the blockages and made its way to the top of the head.

Today the sensitive colleague commented that I looked refreshed. Listened to dark music at work, and felt its effects being healed immediately. Vibrations that reduced any tension that formed.

A little more meditation. Noticed that I can take the sensation of the central channel and "hold it". Not stasis field but similar. Focusing on it without thoughts, without (e)motion. Soon after, the channel started resonating in standing waves. While the mind was purified (saw more and more light), the channel became thicker and more hot. At some point I decided to stop, just in case. It felt like a shortcut to Kundalini awakening, while I know there are still blockages in the body that need resolving before a full-blown explosion. Wild for just 10 min of meditation.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Nature of space-time

Sister's birthday, so had a small family reunion. Although most of us had already seen "Arrival", we re-watched a pirated version (haven't seen it in stores and it's missing from Netflix). It's about time. Let's describe the events backwards.

Matrix of Light

A bit back in time, woke at 3:34 AM. Woke from a series of dreams with heavy symbolism. Tried to remember the dreams just prior to waking up, not sure how much time I spent with my eyes closed that way. I had slept on my back the whole time, facing the ceiling. The first time I opened my eyes, I saw irregular vertical lines (like wood stripes) of light on the ceiling. The next time I opened my eyes, I saw a grid of both vertical as well as horizontal lines (both a bit irregular, as if formed naturally). This grid lasted for 10 minutes or so, then gradually faded from sight. Not the first time, though, previously I've seen the grid differently (either dots, stars, etc.).

The dreams

Random prefix, then found myself on a road. Some guy was walking in front, advertising a book to me. Quite a thick book, with all kinds of crossword puzzles. Realized that by working on it regularly, one could enhance their memory to the extent of perfect recall of any details from the past. I was no longer worried about not being able to remember all of the dreams. This triggered something.

Suddenly I'm in the past somewhere, in a mining cave. There's someone there, wanting to show me something. They put their coffee mug out of the way (I think that's what happened). They take a pickaxe and balance it, then put a hat on it (to show how it was before some kind of an event). Seemingly by accident, the pickaxe tips over and falls to the ground, smashing the coffee mug. Oh shi .. there's a coin underneath the ruins of the mug. The coin has the Eye of Providence, two intertwining triangles and Adam and Eve written on it. Holding it in my hand and looking at it from different angles, I was a bit afraid others might associate me with that kind of stuff.

Someone had found a book they wanted to show me and some other people. It was not a regular book, but an artifact that somehow spanned multiple timelines. Looked like a plain book with red leather hard-cover and some powerful-looking text inside. This guy took an albino match, lit it and tried to burn the book from a corner. The book both burned and didn't. It looked as if it partially swapped itself between other timelines, always ending up undamaged. The guy lit another match, burned another part of the book. All his matchsticks had a white or yellowish white head (I think he had bright hair as well). Anyway, he took the next match and lit it right next to the book cover so that he ended up with the matchstick inside the book. The match was burning inside the book, without damaging the book. Instead, this caused the book to become fairly mixed with parts from different timelines. He then showed the first pages of the book, which had different kind of watermarks on them. The watermarks indicated some conspiracies. Though, this was kind of irrelevant. The "feeling" and behaviour of the book was the important detail. This had me realize something (basically found a new viewpoint to look at space-time, which hadn't occurred to me before).

Unfortunately, I don't remember many of the details (would either need to refer to the crossword method or use subconscious processing to recover the details). There were other dreams in between as well, but the book kind of shadowed them. I think I thought about the fabric of space-time based on the book, just before waking up.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Math test

Odd but experienced a school dream again. Hadn't been to school for a while, and there was a math test. I guess I passed the test but the teacher was really disappointed with my solution to the first problem. She provided plenty of non-constructive feedback in front of all the other students. This did not stir my emotions (I guess I didn't have any). At some moment I realized I wasn't wearing proper clothes, which I was more concerned about.

After math, I saw a bunch of images / clips of kids performing psychokinesis. Awesome but I was puzzled about the causality.

A fairly in-depth seminar on teaching (easily relates to the first dream). While enjoying a walk to nearby pub for lunch, another colleague started chatting about paranormal stuff. It's spreading.

Thursday, June 8, 2017


Too many mind. Or some other issue that caused difficulties in speech. Just the words don't come out or come out wrong. Sentencing errors and the like. A rather embarrassing presentation. Oh well, what's done is done and I can only do better next time.

Anyway, last night discussed the ban of laptops, phones on planes. Had a dream where I had a bunch of different sorts of batteries. All of them were melted and had flames out. Piled them together into a single bin, even though I knew it was going to make the fire worse. Realized the meaning of the flame symbol.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017


Was a bit under the weather yesterday. Checked the time, quickly packed my stuff and ran for the bus stop to catch the last bus from work back to town. Made it, with a couple of minutes for margin. Felt a bit under the weather, while waiting for the bus. There was a strong chilly wind and it was raining. After waiting for 20 minutes, I realized I had come to the bus stop an hour earlier. I don't know how I managed to read 20:00 as 21:00 five or six times in a row (pff so stoopid can't even read the clock). Well, somehow it happened and with just 40 minutes more to wait, I figured there was no point in going back to the office. The more I stood there, the colder it got (obviously). Instead of attempting to put up to the wind, I tried to let go of the tension and "let it through". It literally felt like being cleansed. About 10 minutes before the arrival of the bus, the clouds were washed apart and I was hit with godrays. This helped to raise the mood. The bus then drove into the thick clouds.

Hot day with a clear sky. Arrived at work and happened to glance at one of the displays. Clips of our project from 2012. Actually hadn't seen those clips but didn't pay too much attention. Frames of a girl whom I still like more than I should. That look on her face as she realized she's being filmed. Left for the lab. Half an hour later I left the lab for lunch. Bam! She's there, greets me and smiles. Very rarely have I seen her there (she doesn't work there, nor is her schoolwork related to any of the research topics there).

Monday, June 5, 2017

Actual weekend

with some free time to relax and conspire, yay!

Technique for focusing


Took a shower. Closed the tap and focused on the formation of a water droplet. Focused on the spot where water was about to drip, with the intention of experiencing the formation of the droplet as vividly as possible. Nothing else matters, just need to experience the formation of the droplet. It takes just a split-second and then it's over again. The fact that it's such a short event allows for concentration to build up and release quickly. Short sessions but seemed rather powerful.



Read a lot of conspiracy stuff (The Black Vault, r/conspiracy), and supernatural stuff as well (a local magazine without any references nor authors).

A few days ago I read a bunch on pizzagate, youtube pranksters and mind manipulation. This time I read on old soviet space tech as well as dug into the recent London attacks.

From the supernatural, read on spontaneous teleportation and spontaneous time travel. Should be effortless just like other forms of pk. Victims have often described a thick (almost tangible) dark mist that obscures everything (good ref to "Invisibility" by Steve Richards). Although I lack teleportation experiences, I think I've experienced and utilized this dark mist during a couple of OBEs and pk experiments. The feeling of it seems somewhat familiar.

Also found Charles Fort, the "inventor of supernatural".

Witchcraft always has a hard time, until it becomes established and changes its name. We hear much of the conflict between science and religion, but our conflict is with both of these. Science and religion always have agreed in opposing and suppressing the various witchcrafts. Now that religion is inglorious, one of the most fantastic of transferences of worships is that of glorifying science, as a beneficent being. It is the attributing of all that is of development, or of possible betterment to science. But no scientist has ever upheld a new idea, without bringing upon himself abuse from other scientists. Science has done its utmost to prevent whatever science has done.
~ Charles Fort, Lo! (1932)

Saturday, May 27, 2017


Worked till early morning (4 AM). Went to bed and had a dream.


Me and sister were cleaning the apartment. I found a note indicating that one of the neighbours had been cleaning our basement as well. They probably just threw most of the stuff away .. which I figured wasn't that bad. Was about to show the note to sister when a fire alarm went off for ~3 seconds. It was a strange sound so I thought it was one of the neighbours. Though, in a few minutes, a lot of neighbours came in to look around. One of them pointed out I had a fire hazard in the kitchen. But there's nothing there, I thought. Went to check anyway, and found some kind of a steampunk construction in the middle of the room. A large pipe with valves that looked like it was going to explode any minute. There was steam leaking out from places, and the pipe was glowing red. However, this was probably nothing because the pipe was there for the cooling water. There was an open pipe going into the floor that looked like a rocket engine, especially with the flames coming out of it. I thought the cooling water was turned to maximum already and apparently the flow was still too low, meaning that all the water evaporated immediately. Even if I would somehow manage to increase the flow of water, it would most likely cause an explosion. Decided to close the water valve by hitting it with a broom. That should buy me some time to figure out how to put off the fire. Err .. wait, that doesn't seem right, either. Anti-kicked the valve with the broom to get the flow of cooling water back to maximum. Boom, sparks (or something that looked like molten metal) flew up the pipe in the floor. Though, something "illogical" happened - the phase of water changed and it obtained superfluidic properties. The flames were purified as well. So, apparently the cooling water was not at maximum before, or perhaps closing it and then reopening it caused pressure to build up for a moment, which helped to resolve the situation? In any case, this helped me realize within the dream that I wasn't dealing with fire and water but different forms of energy / psi.


A strange day. Almost like being back in another parallel universe. A place with people living in hope and inspiration. Gonna be another worky late night, though.

I ad Mysterious Matters podcast. It's simply awesome. Listened to a doctor describing near death experiences of patients. Very inspiring stories that deliver a great many goosebumps.

Came back to the realization of being alone in the universe. There can be bazillion friends but when there's a time of need, then suddenly it drops to zero. Or, perhaps you have a wonderful experience that you'd like to share with other people, only to understand that none of them see it full of wonder like you do. Even worse, they might spoil it because of their mood, ego or whatever. People hate to be lonely, so when they feel lonely, they subconsciously tend to create imaginary friends to talk to. Ego is one of such constructs that helps to hide loneliness by drawing attention to what you think others think of you. It's like a game that one becomes so absorbed in that they start to believe it's real. People also look for relationships to try and get rid of this loneliness.

However, sometimes it seems to me that loneliness is something more fundamental. Relying on others in time of need is really a weakness. It's like blaming the inability to do something on others (or the lack of them). Life and experiences are intimate, much like one's religion. Your life and your experiences only have true meaning for yourself and can't be shared. Or rather, can be shared but will be seen differently so that they no longer have the same meaning. Thinking about it this way, life and all the experiences seem to contain more magic, more power and at the same time less dangerous. Fate boils down to attitude - the way you treat your own experience. As a side effect, helping others loses its glare. That is because we all have different experiences and we treat them differently, we might interfere with their own spiritual development. Instead of trying to help directly, it should be a lot better to help them help themselves (less interference). But to me it seems that loneliness goes even deeper. It's not only the magic of your own life and the fact that nobody understands it the way you do. It's the loneliness of the universe. When one accepts their loneliness, they start recognizing themselves in others. A single consciousness that, in order to hide its loneliness, has spawned others to have some kind of interaction. This doesn't solve the problem though, since now there's a bunch of subconsciousness(es) within consciousness that all share the same deep emotion. While without this loneliness there might be love, there probably would not be compassion and longing. Not sure if there would be time.