The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..

Sunday, August 19, 2018

Wise dude

Had dreams with a lot of symbology this morning. I want to believe that I remember at least most of it.

There was at least one more dream that I can't recall at the moment. Met someone and discussed something in there.

Did something quite out of the ordinary today. I took a warm bath and a cold shower. The bath made me question if I was suicidal, because the weather is still warm as well - overheating imminent. An interesting cleansing ritual.

Dream: Path around a mountain

Not actually from today morning, but from Friday morning.

I was jogging up a mountain. The path spiraled at a slight slope around the mountain. It had been raining heavily and the path was wet. It wasn't slippery even though it looked like it might be.

Noticed a pretty landscape down below, and thought whether or not it would be a good idea to go and enjoy it from down there as well. It was a farm with fields of flowers, all of which were soaked in the slight flood. Regular flowers but what made them special in my eyes was the fact that regardless of the flood they still looked pretty. No, perhaps even more pretty because of the flood. Anyway, the flood made the flowers special.

Right next to me there were stairs leading down to the farm. All the steps were wet and looked slippery.

Another person came up the stairs. I asked if there was another path that led anywhere from the farm. The answer was "No, it's a dead end". Thanked them, and took the detour down to enjoy the flowers from a different perspective as well. Got down quickly, luckily without slipping.

Dream: Cleaning sister's room

Apparently the farm / flowers symbolized sister's home somehow (she's looking for one). Looked around the building, carefully entered her room and observed the mess. Helped another entity to clean it a bit.

Actually, the past weeks I had several dreams where I also cleaned my workplace and my home.

Dream: Visiting some wise dude

Our turn had come, so together with someone (on my left), we stepped up the stairs, passed through a couple of gates to enter a palace of some sort. On the top, there was a small monolith building with a roofed patio. The wise dude was sitting on a chair right next to the building. A typical man in his 40s or so, outgoing, energetic, caring but lax about all sorts of fashions and customs. He was dressed in dark blue (blue jeans, blue T-shirt without anything on it). I guess what made him special from the rest of the people around there was that he always moved with the flow. His energy felt very "fluid". It was customary to shake hands with the wise man, and that alone was believed to be a great blessing for all the times to come.

Out of my ignorance, I did not know the customs. The person on my left had brought me here, whereas I had always been skeptical of everyone that's praised to the high heavens. Regardless, I greeted the wise man with an awkward "Your very highness" and bowing, after which I observed what the person on my left did.

He/she shook hands with the wise man. So did I, with my right hand. The wise man said "you gave me both your hands," probably indicating that I was alone and there really was no other person that had come together with me.

Thanked the dude and went back down the stairs. To me, the wise man did not seem all too special. Perhaps this was because he treated everyone as equals and I did feel as an equal.

Dream: Ritual

After visiting the wise dude, we were expected to join a ritual dance. People formed a circle, and everyone had their designated place in the circle.

Out of my ignorance, I just took a more-or-less random place (no. 3, I guess). It was indicated that I had taken the wrong place (was expected to take place no. 20 or so), but it seemed that it wasn't a big deal anyway. I just had to adapt my energetics a bit to fit into the place that I had picked almost at random.

Once all the people were there, we had to start dancing while moving counter-clockwise around a circle of pillars. Although there was a specific kind of dance that others performed, out of my ignorance I did not know how to dance that. I barely had anyone in front of me to copy, so I just danced whatever and it seemed that it did not really matter that much. Gradually it became better and better anyway.

There were more than 20 pillars, and it seemed that prior to the ritual, people had prayed at each of the pillars to apply a specific feeling to each of them. This formed something like a rotating dharma wheel where for a limited time, each of these fundamental feelings "shone" on the life of the dancer.

For me, the dream ended when I looked more closely at the feelings attached to the pillars. As I looked at one of the pillars, letters appeared on the floor around it. On one of them, there was the name of an old classmate who is currently in Switzerland, I think.

Sunday, August 12, 2018


There has been a recurring symbol in my dreams.

For the past few days, I've been thinking of safe ways to introduce arcane technology to the masses.

In dreams, I've been walking through forbidden territory with open gates and no signs. Or at least, I used to think it was forbidden, whereas it no longer seems to be. However, I often get lost in there, or reach a dead-end. The dead-ends always look the same: closed gates, and just behind the gates there's a prison. Today morning I saw some people working at such a prison. The staff were doing the hard work, shoveling pieces of asphalt and tossing it into the building. In the building, prisoners were throwing it into some containers (seemed a bit easier work).

Edit: Perhaps a bit related:

Dream: 2x Earth

Had a more interesting dream as well. Probably sparked by The Solus Project, has a lot of similarities.

Mankind had reached the technology for interstellar travel (history?) and two civilian fleets flew to a habitable planet. The planet was about 2x as large as Earth, had a very similar environment, except for the stronger gravity, thicker atmosphere and so on.

There seemed to have been an advanced civilization on the planet, judging by the ruins. Some inhabitants appeared seemingly out of nowhere but failed to surprise the humans. The humans were taken into some buildings underground. Among the humans, there was an old lady with long white hair who was psychic. By the time they got underground, she already knew everything about these beings and their problems. She collected most of the info from some kind of crystal / stone devices on the surface. She was on some kind of a mission related to these beings. Also, another fleet was inbound soon.

The inhabitants that took the humans underground, looked like midgets who walked around with large metal wrenches. Compared to humans, they were very strong physically.

Dream: Game of wizardry

Quite random.

A multiplayer game to form teams and explore ancient tombs. Most of the dream was about preparations. People tested out their spells, summoned all sorts of creatures and discussed stuff.

It was sort of customary for the participants of the game to try to frighten other participants with their presence or with their skills. Although it was meant to be a cooperative effort, actually everybody competed against everybody else, trying to collect the most awesome artifacts for themselves.

I observed the tomb from a variety of angles, then popped up in the lobby to tell something important to the participants.

One of the most arrogant guys among the participants looked at me and another dude, and asked: "Is that the firmware you're participating with? You better update it before the game starts." He then looked for something in my memory that would freak me out, and tried to replicate behind my left shoulder. It was a statue of a rather specific pose, which I had supposedly seen somewhere in Italy or something. Although I did feel a bit nervous around these people, it seemed that they respected me enough to hear what I had to say. Also, they were surprised at my composure.

"There is one artifact that is planted and is not supposed to be here, be careful," I said. What I meant was that one of them was like a (computer) virus of sorts. A virtual reality game that was hacked by someone so that it had real consequences or something along those lines.

Edit: The slightly freakish pose is from a levitation clip on youtube. The clip itself is no longer available (at least for me) but I managed to get its thumbnail:


Soft supervisor

Something that was nagging me for a while.

I have a student whose thesis I'm supervising. She decided to take a topic that's not very easy and takes a lot of time to get used to. She has a family and a full-time job, so she didn't have enough time to work on the thesis. I told her that's nowhere enough but I lacked the courage to be harsh. She wanted to try and write it anyway, so I tried to shape it to the best that could be done in such a short time. Luckily she requested for a pre-opponent. I picked an old teammate, who basically demolished the thesis and was really pissed at me for sending him such crap. At least this helped me convince the student that she would need at least twice as much work on it to graduate.

By sacrificing myself, I keep sacrificing others as well. If I cared just a little more about my own reputation, it would help others as well. Basically, it's selfish not to be selfish enough.

This realization helped me forgive to my old teammate. It also helped me understand Hyena, who got fed up with me because I failed to realize something this simple. As a consequence of this realization, I had several dreams where I met Hyena and discussed stuff with him. Haven't seen him for years.

Glowing and blinking monk statues

Watched a clickbaity youtube clip on some random haunted dolls and statues. At the end of the clip, there was the story of strange statues at the Pu Xian Buddhist mission.

It was claimed that a strange light entered the statue, after which it glowed and then the statue started blinking its eyes.

Recording videos in there is supposed to be forbidden and honestly I think these videos are crap. Regardless, I'll post a link to one.

What spiked my interest about this case:
  • Newsflash about a monk's body found inside a Buddhist statue (clicky).
  • At some point I listened to Dr. Nida Chenagtsang's description of the rainbow body and how monks gradually transform their physical body into that of light (youtube link below).

The transformation of the physical body into light has been said to take a long time and during the process, the monk is not to be disturbed. So, perhaps they have turned some of them into statues?

Let's assume there were some monks whose bodies had become mummified, with statues built around them. If these monks successfully managed to convert their physical bodies (which then disappeared from inside the statue) into rainbow bodies, they could leave through the statue and perhaps come back at some point. Moreover, as they lack a physical body, they would be "possessing" the statue whenever they returned. Hence the seeming blinking of the eyes.

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Secret society

Remember the evening walk throughout the Italian town in the previous post? During the walk, I passed a building. Actually more than one, but this one was different because while it looked like any other building, its energy signature stood out. It felt like a cozy place where random people can get together and freely discuss the paranormal, conspiracy or spiritual matters. Or at least, I heard people discussing something inside, smelled incense and the following thought popped into mind:

What if in the beginning, secret societies were really not much more than just houses or buildings marked in a specific way so that the initiated would recognize them. The initiated could then just knock on the door and join in on discussions on esoteric matters. This would greatly simplify the quest of finding people with similar interests to talk to.

I was curious of whether or not this was something alike what popped into mind but decided to skip it. Nope, not gonna wrap myself into some cult. A plain-looking building with a small window, a door, and a small emerald rose (reminded the rosicrucian depiction of rose) on the upper right of the door.

Anyway, a theory on how secret societies might've started out.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Grandpa dream 2

We finally reached the tests late on Friday evening, for which I had actually gone to Italy in the first place. The tests indicated issues (as expected). Anyway, they said: "We've worked hard throughout the week and we're taking the weekend off, you go ahead and take it off as well". One of their team mentioned a nature reserve in the mountains nearby. He said he loved hiking there, but it's too hot in there during the summer. The way he described the reserve caused me to drool of hiking there sometime in the future.

Oh, and found the best ice cream from a cafeteria right next to my hotel. Perfect taste, and so much fat that it actually resolved the craving for ice cream on a +38 *C day. Found perfect lemonades as well. Expensive but all "bio" without any conservatives nor artificial sweeteners.

Anyway, early Saturday morning I had a relaxing dream where I reached the nature reserve. Woke up and checked Google Maps for a way to the nature reserve and decided to skip it - 1 or 2 trains + 1 or 2 bus trips, totaling to 3-4 hours of traveling. There and back, and it's a whole day .. nope, not this time. Found another (way smaller) nature reserve at half the distance. Also checked the routes to the sea but figured the beaches are all crowded anyway. Nope, gonna work. About 8 hours later, I finished one job. I was happy, but realized that I hadn't eaten anything. Walked around the town for about 3 hours. Back to hotel, and about 2 hours later I had also resolved a mystery that would have probably taken the team 2-3 days of debugging. I was even more happy. This probably impressed the company and they offered me a job. I knew that would happen and I had considered it a couple of years back but found it incompatible with my plans.

At about 3 AM, I had an important dream which I'll describe later.

Anyway, enjoyed travels back to Estonia on Sunday. Bologna airport is nice, got to enjoy a full pizza with my favorite toppings for lunch. I thought I hadn't visited the Brussels airport before. I was wrong - the familiar long straight tube with very few places to eat, all of which are very expensive. On the plane to Tallinn, I took the local newspaper (Saturday issue) for reading. Mildly interesting that my horoscope said: "You've worked hard for the whole week. Take the day off".

The nightly buses are clearly meant to keep passengers from sleeping. Everything about the interior is obviously designed while accounting for a variety of scientific papers on the psychology of exhausted people. Due to it being impossible to sleep there, I practised focusing on my breath while trying to keep my head straight. Got home and managed to sleep for a few hours before work. Decided to heed the advice of the horoscope and work from home, as that allows for 10 - 20 min deep naps after every 2 hours. Enjoyed a 12 hour sleep in the evening =3.

Saturday dream: Grandpa

While walking around, I decided to ponder about the remote possibility of having a family. Decided that if I were to have a family, then the optimum time for that would probably be after graduating, which should happen in about 1 year. That's not far at all. Also, the job that I've taken recently, is perfect for working from home and taking some time off for the family every now and then.

I was on my way visiting my wife at a hospital. It was so early that there was barely anyone there. Walked in the front door and right to my left, grandpa was sitting on a bench. Dressed in rags, he was waiting for someone. I recognized him as an aspect of myself and feeling sorry for him, I asked "Why are you waiting out here, come on inside". He looked up to my right, smiled and stood up (I think she saw my wife).


For me, it became clear that grandpa is indeed waiting for my family for reincarnation. So, need to find a wife and form a family at some point.

Previously I've ignored this, but it does make sense: I've taken a body, and it would be very selfish to spend the life without giving someone else the same opportunity. Especially since for being alive, I owe my gratitude to my parents and grandparents, it would be logical for me to contribute the same way.

Monday dream: Cleaning

Spent the night cleaning. Vacuuming the floor of all the dust and random stuff that had gathered throughout the years. Regardless of some problems with the vacuum cleaners, I made good progress.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Constant sauna

The flight being cancelled wasn't the end of it. Due to this, my flight was routed through Amsterdam. When we landed in Amsterdam, somebody had forgotten their stairs right next to the plane parking lot so that our stairs didn't fit (splat against the wall on the lowest step). After a while they decided to use the rear exit, instead. Everything was nice and all, but luggage got delayed (somehow didn't fit on the plane and got to Bologna with the next flight). It then took 2 days for the luggage to make its 1 hour trip from Bologna to Forli.

Had the feeling that it would arrive the day it actually did. However, still called around with the help of Italian speaking colleagues to get the status of the delivery. Didn't get the status, the recipient always hung up or refrained from picking the phone in the first place.

Once I got the luggage, it was evident that someone had skimmed the content, looking for valuable items. I had none. Just a cheap DSLR, some aluminum tubes for optics, and the invaluable spare clothes. It's so hot in here (merely a few degrees more than in Estonia) that I had to manually wash the clothes each evening. Constant sauna, and each cup of water or juice kick-starts a flood of sweat.

I didn't intend for this post to sound so grumpy. Everything is nice, actually. I've tried to keep the background of my mind focused on humble and pleasant energy patterns. It would be pretty neat to learn how energy patterns from the back of the mind shape the reality.

Sometimes I semi-accidentally ordered something that was difficult to eat fully. Readjusted my taste and hunger to make it possible.

I found it quite difficult to sleep in the sauna, but it seems that I do need less sleep in here. Haven't watched TV, haven't read the news, have been doing work until sleep, and then sleeping until breakfast, after which off to work again.

Seemingly gloomy dreams but experienced them in a neutral manner.

Dream: Nerve gas

Some group of people in a small building in a foreign environment. One of them starts an experiment - cuts open the dead body of some living being. Some sort of gas is spread from the body, which affects everyone indoors. After that, the people changed permanently.

I try winding back time, tricking people to leave the building and what not. I thought I had managed to possess one, and take them to safety, only to discover that I had not. Without a body I had reached some sort of a guarded outpost that simply shot the people coming from the small building. After killing the people who mindlessly ran at them, they started looking for survivors who were unaffected but there was nobody. I was just like a ghost that went unnoticed.

Seems mildly related to some previous zombie dreams that I've seen a lot of years ago. Nothing novel.

Dream: Police psychic

A dream where I have the goal of finding out who's responsible for the murder of a female politician, and why they did it / would do it. I recognized it as a memory of a set of recurring dreams from a long time ago (possibly a designed or planted memory). I had identified the person (an inside job, a lady at the back row of a group photo) and claimed that she was under the influence of drugs. Her mind was consumed by a repetitive phrase like "it's her vibes that make me do it" or something similar.

Other than somebody having turned to me for help, I had no interest in the situation. I was also shown pages covered in a cartoon which illustrated the event based on forensic evidence. Apparently I had had to mark down who thought what, as well as other possibly related notes. It had my name on it (badly written) and I think it said 1956 or something in the footer.

Dunno, a completely random dream, seemingly without any connection to previous dreams.

Dream: Snow

Remembered another dream that I had.

I'm at the summerhouse on Saaremaa, staying outside. It's quite warm, and then suddenly it starts snowing. I lay down and enjoy the snow just as much as I enjoy the warmth.

This is why I carry a jacket with me - one might never know when it starts snowing in Estonia (summer or not). It's lousy skiing weather throughout the year. Though, haven't found a use case for the jacket in Italy yet .. at least during the summer.