The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Dream: crappy hostel

Was on a bus. Some other dude was talking about a rumor that I lived in a lousy neighbourhood (big deal, right?). Did not pay attention to any of that, until we passed that place. An apartment there had my family name on it, so I left the bus and started looking around. "I've never even been here before, so I wonder who lives here."

Looked in through the windows in the first floor apartment. An exceptionally small room with barely any room to sit and meditate. Mom's backpack! From the outside the room looked like a normal 4-walled apartment room, just unsecure and exceptionally easy to enter. Entered. From the inside it looked like a tent made of blue trashbags. No doors or windows. The room still had an exit, though - a very small opening to crawl through. The opening was so small that one had to leave all belongings inside and crawl out. Didn't want to break anything so I left my backpack in there as well, and then crawled through the exit .. accidentally breaking some of the blue plastic. Actually, the plastic had already been torn from another place - suspected Mom had left through a wall.

A narrow corridor leading to a shared kitchen. Most of the people living there were somewhat low on culture - junkies and drunkards, mostly. Looked like an exceptionally humiliating place to live for a normal person. A serious test of the humble hermit in everyone of us (for spirituality and stuff).

Went upstairs. A more-or-less normal floor. Still plain walls, but at least painted with some crude details (as if to imitate a luxurious palace). A bar and some tables to play poker.

Next floor. Luxurious palace with gold-lined pillars and crystal chandeliers. I'm like "What? A bunch of thieves and junkies with just a stairway to this place?" That same dude (who had been chilling with me through the place) said something along the lines of "similar to a masonic lodge". No idea.


Woke up and realized that one would probably progress from the first floor all the way to the top floor, while always being able to see the next floor for inspiration. A catalyst for spiritual progress.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Pillar of smoke

Chest ached yesterday evening. Had caught cold. Lit an incense stick and walked around the rooms with it. Visualized it cleaning the lungs. Occasionally put it on a shelf, sat down a couple of meters away and stared at the smoke rising.

The smoke was very responsive to pk. Could easily lean it in different directions, calm it down (a straight line of smoke to the ceiling), make smoke rings with it, or cut the smoke (smoke started rolling off to the sides instead of going upwards). At some point I started trying to keep the smoke calm, while visualizing that the column of smoke is the central flame in my spinal column. This improved healing even further. Though, got a bit dizzy eventually (too much incense).

Felt much better the next day. Also, have been listening to heart chakra healing music for the past few days.

Monday, September 18, 2017


Mom had contacted sister to ask what's going on in the town. One of her old friends had complained about aircraft noises and dogs barking throughout the night. Neither me nor sister had noticed nothing of the sort.

First of all I find it strange that there would be aircraft noises during the night. Except for the helicopter post, it's very rare. Also, were these aircraft noises, then dogs typically wouldn't bark about it. Unless it was deafening (the dog at the summerhouse is traumatized by all the low-flying jets). Mom thought it was the magnetic storm, but again, we didn't see anything out of the ordinary.

Dream: Burning branches

Was at the summerhouse, piling up branches and burning them. Noticed that there was an older pile that did not burn so well. In fact, it had almost become extinguished. The pile had large tree stumps sticking out of the ashes. I could tell that there were still some glowing pieces of charcoal underneath, so I nudged one of the stumps a bit. Instead of catalyzing the burning, I managed to unleash 2-3 hornets. The hornets darted at my right palm and stung it. In order to escape the emerging cloud of hornets (because typically that's how it happens with wasps), I flew away. However, I was somewhat disappointed in the speed of flight. I was so slow that I had to push myself from tree branches and roof edges.

Dream: Training

Some kind of a large stadium or field. Spent the rest of the night training with someone else. Trained strength, stamina, agility, concentration, etc. The dream deterioriated in the morning when more people started showing up. Eventually some guy thought he was the trainer and started bossing around. I realized that I didn't have proper shoes and clothes for the training. Spent the rest of the time sprinting around with parkour while looking for them. Found them where I had placed them before the night of training (had just put them aside because they weren't needed). The boss trainer of the morning did not tolerate people training without flashy outfits.

Morning walk

Walked to the bus station again. Felt lightweight and tireless. Walked a lot faster than usual and made it on the bus that leaves earlier, with perfect timing.

A very rainy and stormy day.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Moody Weather

Mayhaps not as exciting as the previous two posts but weather was a bit moody today.

Concentrated on work while listening to soothing music. At some moment I looked out of the balcony window and it was a sunshine with clear sky. Some time later I got confused about the raining backdrop in a song. It sounded so realistic that I looked at the balcony window and removed the headphones. Although it was actually raining outside, I couldn't have heard it with the headphones on. The song ended and it was sunny again. Stared at the fidget spinner for some time, heard a loud gust of wind. Looked out .. barely any wind. Took a nap and woke up. Cloudy but cleared up in just a few seconds. Then sunshine until sunset.

Managed to fool the cat so that he let me install the leash (about 10% success rate). With effort, managed to take the cat for a walk. Kept staring at the cat while it was trying to hide under a tree. As the darkness settled, at some point there was an empathic connection with the cat. He finally enjoyed sitting there, looking around .. feeling like a ninja or something. Though, it's still evident that the cat doesn't read my mind properly. Took the cat back home and left for shopping. Cat was confused "Do I need to come too or not?" He has a miss/fear relationship to r/outside so I knew I would no longer have to shoo him from the door today.

Saturday, September 16, 2017


Yesterday I randomly remembered remembering flashbacks of something. Yep.

I remember years of studying something involving strings of small dots of light. While I think they had colors as well, for me colors were irrelevant. It was the patterns and the interaction of these patterns that was important. More important than anything else (pffamily or whatever).

I think I remembered this either while taking a bus over a bridge and seeing dots of light reflect from the channel. Definitely I was thinking about this memory when walking to a store in the dark with Mom, Dad and sister. Was a few years old.


If that's a glimpse of a past life, then my tendencies and habits in this life make sense. Still suspicious, though.


Couldn't sleep properly on Thursday night. There had been 6+ hours of emotional lessons learned discussion. I wasted my breath a lot, whereas the dude sitting opposite to me meditated for most of the time and rarely spoke anything. During the discussion, mindfulness meditation was mentioned once. Though, to me it seemed rather out of place so I did not comment on it. Moreover, since an ex-colleague mentioned on having had meditative coding experience(s) and found mindfulness meditation to be unexpectedly easy, I decided to save it for inspiration. He's the one I recommended meditation for overcoming his health condition and I'm glad he's better.

Oh, and before the discussion I scanned some documents at home, and read some old Japan tourism booklets while the scanner was working.

OBE-ish dream

Anyway, that night I focused the consciousness cloud into the shape of my body. This started healing some areas previously scarce of attention. Then sister came home (around 2 AM), started moving stuff and cursing me. I think I fell asleep somewhere between 4 AM and 5 AM. Woke up confused about the orientation of the bed (rotated in respect to the body, I think). Checked the clock, but since it showed something like 7:69 or whatever (something illogical with a 7, don't remember exactly), I stood up and went to the living-room to check the time. Noticed that movement was very OBE-like (couldn't walk, had to float & fly). Dad was there, at the computer (pretty much only happens in dreams). Asked him what time it was, because it felt as if I was somewhere outside normal space-time. I think he looked at his watch and then ended up looking confused. "We're somewhere outside normal space-time, right?" It seemed as if he agreed.

Tried to remember what it was that I had on my list of things to do whenever I get an OBE. Aborted the operation with a 10 second timeout, roughly. Just "left the scene". Arrived at a place that looked like a Shinto Shrine. Saw my surroundings in 4D. At the same place there was the shrine, some kind of ruins, and an urban area with poor population. Climbed the ruins and looked towards the shrine tower (simultaneously a building). I was a bit surprised that the urban area was empty during the day. Well, empty with an exception. There was a lady on the 3rd floor (I think), cooking. To me it seemed that she had two kids who were not home. She saw me through the window / door and asked me to come and help her. She had the impression that I was lost, even though I was pretty sure that I wasn't .. I was just aimlessly wandering around, looking for whatever I might find interesting. Flew in and helped her with the cooking somehow (don't really remember the details). The food was somehow special and she offered it to me as well (couldn't try regular food anyway). Though, most importantly, she told me something about my history and asked my grandma to fill out the details for me.

Poofed to wherever grandma was. A large field of grass with some kind of a building, next to a gravel road. Did not recognize the place. Anyway, had a lengthy discussion about history (don't remember the details).


This seems to imply that I still am a part of the family lineage even though I don't feel like it. To me it seems like a boring lineage. While perhaps a bit more interesting than the average but still.

But then again, it just seems to imply that.

A very interesting dream / OBE in any case. One of a kind thus far.


Had had perhaps 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Contrary to my expectations, I did not wake tired.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017


Came home and straight to bed yesterday. Woke, ate, checked forums and back to bed.

When relaxed, there's a subtle buzzing all over the body, as if the body were purring like a cat. Pain and tension is released from the areas that are buzzing.

Last night I spent cleaning the body of stress and tension again. In the dream I created / found a garage-like room behind 5 portals. It had other portals as well, but through these it was even more difficult to find the place. Somehow I let the place clear itself of unfavourable entities, then entered. The place was dark but clean and quiet. Set up work stuff .. a nice place to work in dreams without distractions. Though, without the entities the place was no longer as stable. Noticed several inconsistencies (stuff missing) while packing for the morning alarm.