The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..

Wednesday, July 26, 2017


Saw a shiny object move across the sky while on my way back home. It moved from right to left, and then faded within a second or two. It looked oval-shaped, moved quite fast (assuming it was quite far) and there was no sound. It flew along the abandoned air base. Regardless, I was pretty sure it was a plane .. until it faded. Might've still been a plane, making a sudden turn towards the abandoned base (away from me). There are aviation school students flying around at times.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017


Happened to read about the Sansevero Chapel. Plenty of occult symbolism, statues that are impossible to sculpt and other bizarre stuff.

Started to wonder about the statues. Thanks to synchronicity, found a site (Google Translate from Russian) describing different methods of petrification (converting things into stone). Original link for native Russian readers. This also clears up a lot of confusion that I had regarding some granite megaliths in America with handprints in them.

Logical but just didn't occur to me in this context before. It's possible for one element to carry the essence of another and re-manifest it.

Today I realized that I've been using time to separate and categorize my experiences. Shouldn't do that. Shouldn't tie them to time.


One of them: walked outside, through the apartment wall. It's snowing. "What the, snowing in late July? Pff .. Estonian Summer (TM)"

Another: woke up somewhere else. Knew I was somewhere else before opening the eyes. Couldn't remember where, though. Red rubber flooring, cheap bed, barely any furniture. Moved the blanket aside, stood up and went looking for the bathroom. Had travelled a lot with Mom and arrived late last night. An acquaintance of an acquaintance offered a place to stay for the night. The host came and greeted me. An indie .. they're very rare around here. Felt a bit embarrassed at first, as I didn't have any daily clothes on. He didn't even pay attention to such a minor detail. Anyway, some time later Mom also woke up and we left. Astral - no hassle with any doors, as all of them are open or there are no doors. Also, the sunlight and the buildings - everything was far brighter and more vibrant than in this realm. Yup, definitely astral. We were going downhill. ..::WeEEeeE::.. Hopped to the ground, tummy first, to bounce into the air and fly around. Note that I don't have a beer belly, but still .. seemed like a fun thing to do. Mom was a bit more grumpy.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Stable portals

Mayhaps not as exciting a summary as the previous one, but it's a post.

Somewhat exhausted from the week of heavy focus on work. A lot of sleep and daily naps. Sleep cycle is pretty messed up. Enjoyed a long chat with Mom about previous lives, space-time and collective dreams.

Oh, but regardless of feeling exhausted, it seems that productivity has not dropped. Or at least, not much. Patched some pretty serious bugs today.

Cat return

Cat was found a couple of days later, the next morning after Mom asked the cat to return in her mind. Climbed the tree and took the cat down. Cat was very humble, so perhaps I was wrong about thinking that the cat had fled for a feline nightclub or something. Perhaps he just fell down from the balcony, after all.


Apparently my suspicions were right - her real issue was not physics and math, it was spiritual.

Regardless, stumbled on this:

This goes amazingly well with personal experience as well as with what I read from Steve Richards' "Invisibility". Though, it shows that my ponderings about finite vs. infinite universe were pretty far off.


Took a group of random people (colleagues, friends) and explained what I had found out about portals. Organized an excursion through a few places. This time the portals were stable enough to let a whole group of people through. Showed them a place after a place, while discussing stuff with some of them who displayed deeper interest in these things. However, at some moment I realized that I had led them into a wild area. Had to fend off entities. Alarm rang or something. Anyway, woke up.

Someone else organized an excursion through a heavily guarded area for me. Claimed it was safe because almost everyone was on vacation. "If something were to happen, you could climb down this vent here." I tried the vent and fell .. into the exact same room. Sensed somebody coming. Casually sat down behind a chair, trying to think myself invisible / unnoticeable. A dude entered the room and seemed to have been oblivious of me being there. Woke up.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Will do this

Although there is no time, I feel like posting at least a summary of events.
I'm more-or-less left alone on the project, so need to do the full-time job of at least 3 people. Regardless of the fact that the crunchtime marathon has gone on for months already.

The way to cope with this is: f*cuk it, I will do this. As deep absorptive focus as possible, on the task at hand. Then at night or during breaks, relax the mind and every muscle of the body. It's also important to have the state of mind that "This is the current status of things. I have the chance to make things even better." In other words, there are no bad situations, there are only situations that can be improved.

For one, this has gotten OBEs and lucid dreams going. Also, it has become easier to maintain celibacy.

Learning the elements

One night I decided that I would fly about till the morning, so perhaps some of it would stick when I woke up. Flew a lot, but a moment later I was interrupted. I was shown to some exercise grounds. I understood that in addition to just flying around, I would need to learn different elements. The environment was unearthly - unrecognizable flowers, unrecognizable animals. There were some kind of circular plates in the ground, each with a picture on it. I guess I passed the first one (or first two) so quickly I didn't even notice what they were. There I was, with the symbol of the previous plate in my right hand, standing in front of another plate. The plate had the shape of a mountain and some arcs symbolizing water. I put the symbol from my right hand on top, and started finger-painting it out so that the original image would be restored. It was like finger-painting in mud with different colours. Finished, I walked past a puddle, went uphill and noticed a more reddish zone to my right. In these exercise grounds, one could not just move from one zone to another. One had to enter through a chain of portals that might lead to the next zone if allowed to. While walking along the fence of the zone to my right, I heard something walking behind me. Turned around and saw two animals that looked somewhat similar to ostriches. Grabbed a camera and took a photo. The animals perceived this as a sign of danger, but oddly enough started running towards me (with anger) not away from me. I put the camera away and they stopped immediately. They realized that I was not a threat. Enjoyed the glimpse of a pretty sunset for a moment, and left for the portal that might take me to the next zone. It did not. The dream became incoherent.

Has anyone here played From Dust? It's an awesome game that probably influenced my dream.

Skewed portals

Mom visited us (all the way from Spain, yay). Spent a night trying to explain portal dynamics to mom and sister. While I had managed to use the same portals to go to the same place several times over, none of it worked right when I got others into the dream. The portals became very unstable and started pointing to other places.

Levitation with gravity assist

Many more flying dreams. Though, one of them stood out. Me and an ex-friend walking the corridors of a large building of some kind. I tried using walls and corners for gravity assist. Ended up going faster and faster, afraid of splashing against the next wall. Pretty fun, though the speed got a bit frightening in the end. He was not that amused about it.


Another night that I intended to redirect my nervousness, worries and anger into learning something new .. wanted to figure out how space-time works so that I could work more efficiently. Perhaps a time-warp bubble around me, so that I could stretch the working hours from 13 hours to several days.

Nothing happened.

Yesterday an old acquaintance suddenly messaged me with a physics / math problem about maintaining stable wormholes. This, in addition to her personal realizations about the fabric of space-time, similar symbolism from old texts and a lot of other stuff.
~"Nah I don't have the time for this."
~"Shut up and absorb the info."
Well, alright.


On Sunday evening, the cat encountered another cat and went nuts. "Dragged" the cat home. Next evening I found my soldering station cable chewed broken. Locked the cat out of my room. Cat escaped through the balcony (a refreshing fall of 3 storeys). Welp, cat's own choice. Choices have consequences. Thunder and heavy rain for a great many hours.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

The Conspiracy

Holy ..
Watched Harald Kautz's presentation on the black goo:

Connects so many pieces of the puzzle. In general, he had come to the same conclusions but he had a lot of new info. Would be awesome to work in such a group in the future.

Stumbled upon this while digging into the many real-life conspiracies or stories that X-Files were based upon. Although logical, if this is true, then this is the biggest.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Standing waves on central flame

Intent has helped a lot.

Attempted to pump sexual energy up the spine on Saturday. A few blockages in the head gave way with crackling sounds.

Made fresh salad with sea salt yesterday. That, and meditated in front of the mirror for perhaps 45 min. In addition to sensing the space-time shift around me, I saw other peoples' faces emerging from mine. People whom I had associated myself with. People whose burdens I had taken for myself to carry. Relaxed and the central flame burned away some of the blockages and made its way to the top of the head.

Today the sensitive colleague commented that I looked refreshed. Listened to dark music at work, and felt its effects being healed immediately. Vibrations that reduced any tension that formed.

A little more meditation. Noticed that I can take the sensation of the central channel and "hold it". Not stasis field but similar. Focusing on it without thoughts, without (e)motion. Soon after, the channel started resonating in standing waves. While the mind was purified (saw more and more light), the channel became thicker and more hot. At some point I decided to stop, just in case. It felt like a shortcut to Kundalini awakening, while I know there are still blockages in the body that need resolving before a full-blown explosion. Wild for just 10 min of meditation.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Nature of space-time

Sister's birthday, so had a small family reunion. Although most of us had already seen "Arrival", we re-watched a pirated version (haven't seen it in stores and it's missing from Netflix). It's about time. Let's describe the events backwards.

Matrix of Light

A bit back in time, woke at 3:34 AM. Woke from a series of dreams with heavy symbolism. Tried to remember the dreams just prior to waking up, not sure how much time I spent with my eyes closed that way. I had slept on my back the whole time, facing the ceiling. The first time I opened my eyes, I saw irregular vertical lines (like wood stripes) of light on the ceiling. The next time I opened my eyes, I saw a grid of both vertical as well as horizontal lines (both a bit irregular, as if formed naturally). This grid lasted for 10 minutes or so, then gradually faded from sight. Not the first time, though, previously I've seen the grid differently (either dots, stars, etc.).

The dreams

Random prefix, then found myself on a road. Some guy was walking in front, advertising a book to me. Quite a thick book, with all kinds of crossword puzzles. Realized that by working on it regularly, one could enhance their memory to the extent of perfect recall of any details from the past. I was no longer worried about not being able to remember all of the dreams. This triggered something.

Suddenly I'm in the past somewhere, in a mining cave. There's someone there, wanting to show me something. They put their coffee mug out of the way (I think that's what happened). They take a pickaxe and balance it, then put a hat on it (to show how it was before some kind of an event). Seemingly by accident, the pickaxe tips over and falls to the ground, smashing the coffee mug. Oh shi .. there's a coin underneath the ruins of the mug. The coin has the Eye of Providence, two intertwining triangles and Adam and Eve written on it. Holding it in my hand and looking at it from different angles, I was a bit afraid others might associate me with that kind of stuff.

Someone had found a book they wanted to show me and some other people. It was not a regular book, but an artifact that somehow spanned multiple timelines. Looked like a plain book with red leather hard-cover and some powerful-looking text inside. This guy took an albino match, lit it and tried to burn the book from a corner. The book both burned and didn't. It looked as if it partially swapped itself between other timelines, always ending up undamaged. The guy lit another match, burned another part of the book. All his matchsticks had a white or yellowish white head (I think he had bright hair as well). Anyway, he took the next match and lit it right next to the book cover so that he ended up with the matchstick inside the book. The match was burning inside the book, without damaging the book. Instead, this caused the book to become fairly mixed with parts from different timelines. He then showed the first pages of the book, which had different kind of watermarks on them. The watermarks indicated some conspiracies. Though, this was kind of irrelevant. The "feeling" and behaviour of the book was the important detail. This had me realize something (basically found a new viewpoint to look at space-time, which hadn't occurred to me before).

Unfortunately, I don't remember many of the details (would either need to refer to the crossword method or use subconscious processing to recover the details). There were other dreams in between as well, but the book kind of shadowed them. I think I thought about the fabric of space-time based on the book, just before waking up.