For some reason I had not been able to sleep much since last weekend, so I fell sick on Wednesday. Had a slight fever and kept visiting the toilet, which had become painful. Luckily, the fever only lasted for a day. On the next day I was already feeling good enough to take a walk to the tent of covid tests (just in case), which was about 6 km from home.
Anyway, today morning I had a dream with somewhat distressing symbolism.
Dream: Uneven flames
I was warming or cooking food on the gas stove, when suddenly the flames went out. I quickly picked a lighter and restarted the fire. I found it strange that the lighter kept having a small flame at the end, and the flames stuck to the bottom surface of the pot like napalm.
Ok, with the flame in control again (the intensity even responded to turning the knob, which usually has not worked in such dreams), I decided to check how the food was doing. I tried if the pot was too hot, which was not the case, and lifted it with bare hands.
Strangely, though, it was just a bunch of different components, each packaged separately in plastic. Well, whatever, I started checking the components. Some of them had nearly become burned while some other components were not even warm yet.
Just in case: In real life it's safer to turn off the gas, wait for a while for the non-burned gas to dissipate, and then restart the fire. Otherwise the gas might explode and cause nearby flammable objects to catch fire.
Morning
Somehow today I see my problems and choices from a broader perspective. I think I need to adjust again, in order to skip what I would consider to be a dead-end. For quite a while I've been living to please others, while trying my best to patiently wait for the chance to do what I've always wanted to do. However, since it doesn't really matter to people, I think there's not going to be such a chance unless I make one myself. Based on what a lot of people are already experimenting with, it's probably the right time.
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