Remembered dreams

better than from some prior nights.

Right after waking up, I could recall dialogues which I had either had myself or overheard from places I walked past. Also remembered the text and questions on some forms which I was asked to fill in.

By now = 13 hours later I've forgotten most of the details already.

Other than how well I could remember the details, the dreams were nothing special. Perhaps a couple of things which I found interesting from the dreams:

Entering and leaving university buildings required paperwork due to some new EU regulations. With a lot of sarcasm, the lady at the reception was thankful to France for such innovation. The forms had questions about the reasons for entering / leaving the building, inventory and clothes, etc. While I did not find it reasonable, I didn't care and just filled in the form each time I had to visit the door.

I walked past some store booths and stuff. It looked somewhat like the chain of tax free shops at an airport. Then stood by a bar booth, waiting for friends. The bar booth acquired my attention due to some secret society symbology hidden in the logo and advertisements. A grumpy but rich old man went to the counter with a glass of something. A waiter came and asked how he could be of help. "Today morning I found that the taste of the glögg was off," the man said. The waiter rolled his eyes, thinking that now he's expected to teach clients when and how to enjoy their drinks. The waiter then described that it was meant to be enjoyed right after being served, for otherwise it would be impossible to guarantee the taste. Among the factors affecting the taste, for some reason he mentioned the direction of the wind which I found somewhat odd (but okay for a dream, I guess). Anyway, the waiter exchanged glasses of glögg with the old man, tasted the expired glögg and poured it into the sink. What also caught my attention and puzzled me in the dream was that I couldn't tell what language the old man and the waiter used. It wasn't telepathic, it was somehow either something universal or the dream me automatically translated everything without even noticing.

Ideas from dreams

There have been a couple of thought-provoking (in my opinion, at least) dreams which I've meant to post about.

Dream: Interpretation of a black hole

I was working on something while someone approached my table from my right and asked how I thought a black hole worked. I then described an idea based on the assumption of an aether (officially disproven in late 1800s). Moreover, it assumes that aether has friction against mass or charge.

You could take a mass (probably charged) and gradually spin it up to an angular rate high enough to close the loop of rotating aether. The closed loop would be the event horizon.

Dream: Grounding issue

I was debugging some kind of an amplifier for some kind of a measurement equipment. Hooked it up and found that its output saturated sometimes when I moved magnets or something ferromagnetic around. Realized that the device did not get good enough ground connection through the cable. Attached auxiliary ground and it worked without issues.

Engineers typically consider common mode effects a nuisance. However, maybe for some zero-point generators they could be quite important not to filter it out.

Female side

While healing the eye, I found what I had thrown away with the rest of the burden.

Balance

I've gotten the impression that every person has both a female and a male side in their non-physical bodies.

I had totally forgotten about my female side and apparently tried to throw that out with the rest of it. If I hadn't, then maybe the consequences would have been less dire or maybe nothing would have happened at all?

Anyway, during healing I re-found my left side again which I think should / should've rendered me independent again so that I would not need to rely on other people to exist.

Dark veil

After re-merging it, I noticed that there were 4 strands of consciousness running through it (backref to the 3-4 eyes and 4 people from previous post). Separating these strands was the good old familiar dark fog / veil. I decided to remove the dark fog and let the strands re-merge.

I visualized extracting the blob of dark veil and stuffing it into a jar for maybe using it later. However, right after doing that I realized the mistake - the dark veil itself is separation and I cannot separate separation from itself. So, I let it go to rejoin itself (with a smirk because I don't think that would be possible, either).

Researching the psychological cause

Looked into the symbology from a dream dictionary and found the following relations:

• Left eye relates to the moon (which in turn to the female side)
• An issue with the eyes corresponds to clouded judgement, or not seeing things for what they really are

One potential cause for the illness could have been the fact that typically I don't really enjoy the Christmas parties at grandparents' place. It somewhat feels like a job to go there and keep smiling to lengthen their lifespan. It has to be done but I should not treat it as the main reason for a family get-together. This could've been a minor contributing factor for the illness.

Not long before the illness I had discussed the conflicting life goals with a male friend. Considering the attempt at detachment, I acted exactly against his suggestion, which might've also been one of the contributing factors for the illness.

During the illness, I decided to take the dream from a few posts ago (clicky) and apply it.

Discussed the conflicting life goals with a female friend. The discussion eased my fears somewhat. There's no point in being afraid of something which might or might not happen in some future. If it happens, it happens (and need to deal with it then) and if it does not, then there was no reason to worry about it in the first place. Such worries could have also been one of the contributing factors for the illness.

Detachment: No you won't

On Tuesday evening I got the feeling that a specific member on that Discord server had died. Tried to help her pass on in my mind, and went to bed.

The next morning it felt like that member was alive. I failed to find any particular details which could've indicated a parallel realm. So, in the end I was just left confused as to what happened.

Detachment

While walking to the bus station on Thursday morning, I decided that all the unnecessary burden was a bit too much. Detached from everything. The moment I did, my left eye started to hurt and water. A bit further and I couldn't go on. Installed glasses to keep the wind away from the tears. This helped me go a bit further but eventually had to stop and rest the eyes before I could move on. Through a practice of willpower and concentration (I noticed that whenever I applied both, I could temporarily force through) I made it to the bus station. Applied eye drops against inflammation. They didn't help. Waited a bit for things to improve but things gradually only became worse.

Decided to turn around and go back home. Had to greet an acquaintance on the way which I found a bit embarrassing. Struggled hard to keep one of my eyes open for periods long enough not to be run over by a car or bicycle, and to avoid bumping into other people (or streetlamps posts). Took breaks every now and then. The longest break I took at the beach and in my mind's eye that's the spot where I left the burden.

Eventually made it back home. None of the old tricks helped and things only got worse until Sunday morning. Again an inflammation of the left eye with a fever. There was a constant pain with periodic nerve pain and spasms on top. Standing or sitting pose with both eyes closed was the most comfortable. Any tilting of the head caused the pain to ramp up.

Edit: Due to the timing of it all (missed a family Christmas party), I was forced to tell my grandparents (and thus the whole family) about it. This made them worry about me, calling me every day, asking for a status report. This, however, is the main reason why I haven't told them about previous health issues.

Desire to sleep

The pain was a bit too much for me to just go and face it right away. Tried to find ways to sleep without laying down. In that I failed. After about two sleepless nights like that, I wasn't able to hold my head up while sitting (kept falling asleep only to wake a split-second later in pain again). I became aware that the almost constant darkness, pain (and probably fever, too) were starting to get on my mental health. In my mind's eye I was already experiencing 3-4 left eyes having pain in different places.

Eventually I had to face the pain and "enjoy" it for long enough to become used to it so that I could at least sleep for a couple of hours or so. While quite a feat by my personal standards (especially since the pain was beyond anything I had experienced before), this was a breakthrough.

OBE: Playing four

I was "playing a game" of being 2 male and 2 female people somewhere in the dark alleys of maybe Tokyo or someplace similar. These people had no past nor any future. They were just there without knowing anything about where or why they had come from, what they were doing there and so on. All of them were in separate places and it was their interactions with other people which for some odd reason I considered to be of interest. While I only "saw" their shadows, I think they were all dressed in trench coats and shoes similar to what was in fashion in the 30s.

Different perspective

"What kind of a sick fantasy is this," I thought and woke up into pain and darkness. I could not remember who or where I was, or why I was where I was and I could not open my eyes. It took me some minutes to regain my memories again. It could have been that some of the body was still asleep and the memory was still cold-booting.

Went on the pilgrimage to wash my left eye with fresh water (as opposed to applying eye drops) and take some tea. While the trip was painful, I found myself more-or-less content with my life (in comparison to the sick excuse of a dream I had woken from). It is actually possible that a part of the pain was from over-usage of the eye medicine which did not work due to fever.

Once I got back to my bed, I thought I could see the spot of pain on the pillow. "A concentrate of pain," I thought, and realized that a pretty flower can only grow from a good (well-balanced) soil. While probably possible through a lot of effort, a pretty flower could be grown on a bad soil, it would be a waste of resources. Asceticism had suddenly lost its glare.

It also occurred to me that nowadays the fundamental physics is built on the assumption that charges must be in balance for things to be stable. However, if we assume that this universe or multiverse allows for mutually exclusive things to be true simultaneously, then such an assumption might not hold. It could be that some charges are properties of one universe, whereas some other are properties of another, etc. Or perhaps some of them are a part of the underlying structure supporting the universe whereas the others are a part of this universe. Will not try to elaborate on this here too much. Will just note down that the idea spawned from an assumption of a finite universe within an infinite one.

Healing

Decided to reduce the pain by actively focusing on relaxing the eye and the nerve strands which were tensed up due to inflammation. Laid back in the concentrate of pain and started going nerve through nerve, trying to relax the eye. Got half of the eye back to normal and managed to sleep some. Then continued the work. It took 3 iterations like that, with the far corner of the eye taking a bit longer.

But at least now I could open my left eye without mopping the floor (or soaking the blanket or pillow) with all the water that came out.

It made me really happy and a bit proud also (for once, healing was actually useful and worked).

Clairvoyance

Since I was practically blind for several days, I used the opportunity to improve seeing with without the eyes.

While it did work occasionally, and sometimes it worked beyond my expectations, there were also cases when it did not work or worked but did not produce any useful results. Quite often, the skill provided at least some persistence between quick glances of the surroundings.

Some observations:

1. With the point of view being from a random place (and sometimes changed between consecutive attempts), it was sometimes difficult to assess the distance to objects (and grab them with my hand).
2. Sometimes the view was not aligned to the body (I was standing at an angle to what I saw). This got me really confused and I managed to get lost in my own room.
3. Sometimes I saw things morph around or look different from how they were in reality. For example, I saw my feet stretched out when in reality they were not.
4. A sudden change from a dark room to a well lit room dispelled the skill. Things seemed to have worked better in dark rooms and hallways, but maybe also because of the signals from the physical eyes confusing the brain.
5. Regardless of how clear and detailed was the vision, I did not see all objects. In particular, I think I mostly saw objects which I had interacted with the most. For example, I could see my mug and a box of cookies on the kitchen table but completely miss the bag of cat's biscuits right behind the mug.
6. Sometimes I saw light shining through gaps or cracks which I would have found difficult to see with my regular eyes because of it being really faint.
7. In some places I saw some kind of glowing objects. One such object was attached to a corner of the blanket. I could only see it with my eyes closed but not with any of my eyes open.

Based on some other experiments with consciousness and its features, several of the issues with clairvoyance seem to stem from using a very powerful tool without properly configuring it first. Seeing with one's eyes closed is a rather simple use case for conscious shaping of one's consciousness density function.

Edit: Forgot something important. A couple of cases which I personally found interesting.

After applying eye drops (in a tiny bottle), I tried to put the bottle back to its place. In doing so, I used my left arm in a somewhat inconvenient pose (horizontally beyond my head which was on the other side of the back of a chair). Once I accidentally dropped the bottle. I managed to catch it before it reached the floor, without seeing it. And even if I had somehow seen it, I would have probably still missed it because of the inconvenient pose of my arm which would have messed up the whole motorics coordination. However, somehow such a feat was possible.

Once I was trying to reach a tissue on the floor. I had not paid any attention to where I had left it, so I was somewhat surprised to see (with my eyes closed) that it was far away from the others. Without opening my eyes I picked it up and it was actually there.

Shop visit

I had consumed almost everything consumable in the fridge. Went to the shop to buy something more. Felt really weird, but I guess that can happen after being blind for about a week. For one, I had to re-learn how to walk normally. The shop with all the people and signs was surprisingly overwhelming (even though I knew it would be).

I noticed that for once I relied more on intuition than on eyesight. I suspected that I had broken the plastic bag and instead of shrugging it off I went through the effort to determine where it was that I had broken the bag. This confirmed that I had indeed broken the bag without noticing it. While I wasn't aware of it at first, I somehow had another bag in the jacket pocket so I distributed the load.

Got to a traffic light and instinctively started walking towards the button even though the lights were already green. Later it turned out that I could only make it halfway across the crossing (intuition was right again).

Rewind

Remembered an interesting class of entities which I think I encountered sometime last week while attempting remote-healing on a depressed person on the Discord server. A dark bug-like thing which carried a specific kind of negative emotions. I think I forgot the emotion by the end of the healing attempt. When I focused on the bug, it started crawling around rather quickly, trying to escape from my mind's eye. The longer I managed to maintain my focus on the bug, the smaller it became along with the emotion which it carried. The person had two of these pestering them, both roughly the size of my palm. Chasing the bugs without letting the mind wander was a good concentration practice.

During the weekend I stumbled upon a video clip with the symbols of transformation.

Went to bed and experienced waves of heat rising "up" (actually sideways) the spine. Guided these waves with a bit of focus. Eventually started to see hypnagogic imagery of my mummified body tissues gradually becoming more and more alive again. At first it seemed a bit gross to see my body as a mummy.

Dream: Rewind

I was in the middle of a city of some sort. Looked like present time, with some skyscrapers and with most buildings made out of glass walls.

I wondered if my concentration was enough for a history lesson. Started rewinding time. The familiar "sound", or rather the feeling of accelerated flow through me which has been common to all prior similar experiences.

Skyscrapers disappeared, buildings changed, to eventually reveal a low mountain range in the distance. While I did get a little farther (volcanic rocks, volcanic activity, then something about some kind of "winds"), the experience deterioriated rather quickly.

As expected, my concentration was still not sufficient.

A book and a photo

Had a couple of interesting dreams.

Dream: Book

I had written a book and had my aunt review it. Contrary to what I would've expected, she fixed issues with equations and improved phrasing throughout the book. I was really surprised. We looked through most of the changes together. Some of the words I had not even seen nor heard of before.

The dream was vivid enough for the text and equations in the book to seem more-or-less reasonable.

I liked the fact that regardless of the content, the book was printed on humble yellowish paper.

Dream: Photo strip

I looked through some stuff. There was a photo strip. I noticed that for as long as I looked at it, the photos remained constant. Whenever I looked away and back again, the photos changed. I tried rotating the photo strip upside down, which caused only a slight change in the photos. This way I could look at the same objects with a slight difference in time or from a slightly different angle.

I realized the potential and wanted to show it to dad who was sitting to my right. I described the procedure to him, and wanted him to see the same effect. Unfortunately though, he could not retain stable concentration for long enough to see the effect. His mind slipped off the photo strip, causing it to lose any coherence with the previous set of photos.

It felt as if I had stepped over the line of what was allowed in the dream. I slipped the photo strip into my left boot. A 3-letter agent showed up in a military car, took the boot and started looking for the photo strip. All he got from the boot were some old doodles and pieces of writing on cheap yellow-brown paper. He could not find anything of value, and retreated to the claim that I had allegedly acted against the integrity of the dream. Eventually he settled on a small fine which I agreed to pay if he really considered it necessary. I told him that I did not have any cash on me, but I could pay by card. He only accepted either cash or some form of mobile payment. Knowing the capabilities of my phone, I told him mobile payment wouldn't work. He kept trying but for some reason he didn't get it that card would be the only way. It seemed as if he didn't have enough concentration to finish what he had come to do. He tried to take us somewhere but his dream faded before he could manage to get anywhere.

Thinking back on the photo strip today morning, I considered the similarities of the photo strip experiment to quantum computing. Then Ragnar Tornquist's video game series Dreamfall Chapters came to mind again. Quantum computers based on people's dreams.

Music

(Somewhat) busy times.

I wouldn't have thought I would get into music again. Reminds me of the Arab dream (clicky).

Maybe relevant: for some reason I've been handed 2 white roses (1 per week) so far. These have been given at different events or occasions with seemingly no relation to each-other. One of them I randomly gave away a few moments after receiving it. The other one is still decomposing in a vase.

Dream: Shameless showoff

I went to a concert or something, completely ignored the etiquette while flexing my levitation skills in dreams. I walked over to a 2nd floor balcony and leaned off .. onto the air. Eventually this took peoples' attention off the concert. A bit later I flew up towards the ceiling.

Dream: Missed graduation ceremony

I was working away at the laptop when I was invited to a small family gathering in celebration of my graduation. Uncle took me there with a jeep. I was a bit shaken by the way in which I was sitting in the car. My right foot was basically through the glove box door. Not a very nice attitude on my part. The way he stopped the car, hinted at the lack of attention to rigid body physics in the dream.

The family gathering took place at someone's back yard (hadn't been there before). There were two groups there: our family and another family from whom I could not recognize anyone. Apparently the event had been organized by a lady from the other family and she had invited me to chat with her daughter. Regardless of the fact that she reminded me twice that her daughter wanted to discuss something with me, I ignored it. I thought I knew what the discussion would be about and tried to either evade it or postpone it for as long as possible. Instead, I went to enjoy a chat with my father, sister, uncle and a cousin.

At some moment I remembered that I had some lessons and a graduation ceremony at school and I was already late. Vanished due to the morning alarm.

Felt tired and just sat on the edge of the bed for some time. I was not content with my attitude in the dream.

Glowing cat

Slept a lot yesterday and still felt quite tired. As a hypnagogic image I saw myself looking down on the cat on the floor, looking up to me.

There was also something similar to an astral projection experience where I moved through the apartment. I noticed that the lamp in the corridor was very dimly lit. Wondering why, I went closer. While this might've been overlay already, I saw that the lamp was covered with pieces of cloth so that it would not shine that bright at night.

Today morning I saw the cat glowing red from underneath his fur again. This is at least the 2nd if not the 3rd time in total. This kind of vision faded away in maybe about 10 seconds or so.

Built Hamel's oscillator (clicky for Steven Dufresne's version) yesterday / today but similarly to what was stated in his book, neodymium magnets tend to be too strong for it. They dampen the oscillations too much. I thought it wouldn't be that much of a problem given the distance between the magnets in my setup.

Analogues

Read a bit about black hole analogues and found that I had already read about the experiments but simply their interpretation could be different. I would not call these black holes but I like the thoughts which such interpretations tend to provoke.

Also, Sandra and Woo is sometimes really nice.

Blood sugar

Regarding the blood sugar, on Thursday morning the cat ignored the biscuits and by the evening he had spilled them across the floor. So I decided to start training the cat's appetite for another type of cat food which he doesn't typically really eat (but should be way more healthy). No more biscuits for a week.

The next day I thought I would avoid eating too much sugar. Well, life has a good sense of humor. By the time I got to the canteen (just 9 min late) and had waited the queue, there was no more soup left. So I had to take a dessert. The dessert (chocolate cake) was so sweet that I did not want anything sweet for the rest of the day.

Short bus trip

A couple of days ago at lunch a girl A came and described Hameroff's and Penrose's quantum consciousness. I was hesitant to discuss such things in the presence of other scientists, and told her that it's a long story and that in my opinion there was no way science could ever hope to get to the bottom of consciousness. Then a former colleague B joined the table and said that science could very easily explain away consciousness, for it was nothing more than a firing of neural synapses (or maybe also religion and philosophy but that was all there was). Well, I don't think anything else would have proven my point as well as this former colleague did. These things can't really be discussed openly yet. And I suspect that if they could be discussed openly, then my presence in this realm would no longer have a meaning.

Was expecting transportation by car, and had planned my route and time so that I would reach friend's place by the time we had agreed. Turned out I still had to take a bus, instead.

Anyway, this girl A and a colleague C of hers also took the bus back to town. As I had guessed, C had a somewhat similar mindset as B did. However, C seemed just a bit more open-minded and there was a bit more time during the bus trip so I tried to sum up some of my experiments and findings.

It was nice, and I did not mind talking about such topics with school children around. There was, however, a guy who sometimes turned around and looked back at me. I suspect that he found the topic of interest. Or maybe he was annoyed by some dude so blatantly blabbing about these things.

Ideas to improve the world

Discussed some business ideas with old friends. One of the friends told me that my business ideas were too down to Earth, and that he would have expected them to be something on the Moon or Mars. To be honest, I don't think that would make sense. Moreover, if I'd want to change the world then by making a business (which would obviously aim for profit) would not be my approach.

Dream: Moon colony

The idea was probably spawned from the discussion of business ideas.

Anyway, people had put up a bunch of domes on the Moon and were building things inside. There was scaffolding all over the place, and people climbing them, moving stuff around and so on. Quite a bit of action, and then some mischievous lad took the nozzle of pressurized air and blew on the regolith. A lot of dust rose up, contaminating the space for a while. I looked at the arc of larger pieces of the dust falling down while the lighter dust remained afloat for longer.

Then some guy came and "showed" me what he thought was even more interesting. Note that in dreams people can share things they visualize in their mind. He showed me a rotation of water causing a whirpool, and then told me to visualize what happened when I applied a counter-rotation to the other side of the whirpool. Instead of water I associated it with electric and magnetic fields, and started to wonder about it.

Some enthusiasm

Thanks to the events on the weekend, I had considerably more enthusiasm for a couple of days. In addition to the heat waves, I started to feel what I used to think was bindu fluid spreading throughout the body. It has been a while. Also enjoyed the clarity of mind. With barely anything troubling me, I also felt a bit more lightweight again.

It was all nice until I stressed out on a work request from one of the clients. A time consuming analysis which in the end would not be very useful. As always, they need it as soon as possible and the results of the analysis need to prove that things have improved.

I used to regard this as anxiety but I don't actually know what it should be called (panic attack, maybe?). Anyway, tension appeared at the heart and stomach as the body pumped itself full of Adrenalin. The frequency of heart beat and breathing increased. Attempts to force through this take quite a bit of willpower. Now this used to be somewhat constant for the past few years. Wasn't all that nice, so I plan to get past this issue for good.

Edit: Hmm.. I wonder if it has anything to do with blood sugar?
Edit: Edit: Ha, read a bit about it and it seems that my guess was not really that far off. So, probably a significant contributor to this stress is my lack of attention to my eating habits while busy with work. Can't live off sugar ;D


I found it interesting though, that it seemed as if the body quickly started healing itself as well. The most tense regions of the body started to vibrate (or spasm at a regular interval) and more heat waves started to rise up the body.

In order to restore the body back to normal, I've been meditating a bit more each evening.

Dream: Restless

Went from place to place, looking for a peaceful corner to get some sleep. I've By now I've forgotten all but the last place which I tried. The last one was on an empty top shelf at a supermarket. Some employee came chatting with another, and pointed at me. He seemed eager to get rid of me for some reason, but I guess he had trouble getting to me all the way up there.

Dream: Breakfast

A supermarket again. Entered, somewhat surprised that the door was not locked. It was all dark but there were some employees there (stuck on their regular working seats, unconscious - asleep). Anyway, I grabbed a stool, sat down in the middle of the floor, took my backpack, unpacked lunch and ate it there. Then took my backpack again and left. I wondered if any alarms would go off, which might have caused me to start hearing an alarm (because of the way dreams work typically).

Diploma

Received the diploma today.

The whole event was awesome and inspiring in a lot of ways. The lectures were good. The chorus songs and orchestra were amazing beyond expectations. I was blown away.

Rector of the university (somehow the father of the only friend I had while I was still in the kindergarten) congratulated me in a really personal and a warm way. Or maybe these were well-crafted lines to resonate with everyone. Regardless, it worked.

I think my monkish behavior showed when I received the diploma and its folder. They were upside down and for some reason I had to turn them upright before I could walk on. Only then did I realize that everyone was waiting for me to already disappear so they could get on with the schedule XD.

At the after-event, I met a PhD in psychology and enjoyed the discussion about EEG experiments. Then met a honorary professor (friend) with whom we got to discuss a lot of the weird. I had previously received hints that he might have similar interests but I had not really had / taken the chance to chat with him on these topics. While it was a refreshing discussion, I was a bit afraid for his reputation because there were people passing by. But then again, times may be changing.

A truly wonderful event with perhaps a couple of minor things to note down.

Cascading spill

An empty water glass tipped over. For some reason, my simulation / intuition told me that my glass would tip over also. I didn't see how that could happen because the water glass fell in the opposite direction (but I did not account for table tilt while people were trying to save it). Regardless, my glass was also about to tip over and I tried to save it. Well, I was clumsy and failed so that the rest of my alcohol-free champagne soaked the table cloth.

Glass shard

Took my second glass of fruits.
Took some fruits from there and for a moment, I thought I saw something which looked a bit strange but it slipped my mind which was busy with other matters.

Encountered the texture of ... glass. Curious about it, I spit it out to see it. Since I had already bit pieces off of it, I made sure to chew them properly before I swallowed anything. Ate the rest of the fruit pieces one by one, checking if any of them had pieces of glass on them. None of them did.

Since the glass itself was in one piece, the only theory I could come up with was that the piece of glass had somehow flown from somewhere else and landed between the fruits.

Pointed it out to a waitress later and her face didn't look particularly happy about it.

Grain of glass

The situation described in the prior section reminded me of another similar experience.

Last week at work I washed my cup and poured in hot water for tea. Then I noticed that on my finger (still wet from the water), there was a small grain of what looked like glass. My first reaction was: sugar? But the sugar should have melted in the warm water. I thought it might've been just a grain of sand but I was freaked regardless. I poured my cup empty, washed it again, poured the water kettle empty, washed that, and heated some more water.

Probably thanks to that event last week, I did not freak nor panic today evening. While I'm pretty sure nothing will happen, eating glass is still not a particularly nice thing to think about.

Eyesore again

Woke at night with a pain in the eye again. Sigh, happens just when I need to suit up, look refreshed and happy for getting my diploma. Luckily eye drops helped this time, so it might have been dehydration or something. I hope it was, for I don't have the time to be ill anymore.