Yesterday .. 11 hours of work, school, then came home and +6 hours of checking thesis source code documentation. This made me real happy, because while I was at it, it became meditative. Eventually the body was half asleep, half awake and yet nicely focused on the task at hand.
Occasionally felt slight pain above the head, saw a golden white light being radiated from the top of the head. Occasionally also saw shadows form, fly around and dissolve above the head. However, I did not raise my eyes from the screen .. just saw through the head.
Slept for 5 hours and went on the journey of printing the thesis and submitting it.
Have been practising "warrior's perspective" again or however it's called (got the name from a clip of Castaneda audiobook). The idea is to put up against desires when there's a strong urge.
Last night I refused the urge to sleep until I had finished what I had started. Also, when sister comes to chat, I would put up against the urge to say something if I know that she's wrong about some thing or other. Used to practise this a lot several years ago. Would wait for hours before thinking "dude is late". Would sleep on the floor without double thoughts and if I were to catch cold, that would mean the concentration wasn't strong enough and I would practise concentration with self-healing. Stuff like that.
Interesting, how before military service, I practised this and after the service, I tried to avoid such mind patterns at any cost. Or rather, I thought that was what I had learned from service. Wrong .. I was more of a "warrior" at the beginning of the service than I was at the end.
Well, at least now I have walked that segment of the path several times.
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
Easy meditation
Right .. I'm back on the same subject again .. lack of love is the cause of this stress and anxiety.
Found that when the weather is hot, then maintaining focus with a clear mind on pretty much anything keeps the internal winds circulating so that it feels nice and cool.
Remembered an old exercise I used to practise several years ago. Would download some more anime wallpapers with pretty girls. Would then take one and stare at it, until the mind goes blank .. then stare at it more, until the mind is immersed in the image and there is no more "I". Probably one of the easiest ways for a male to meditate.
Another great way is to draw or paint a pretty girl, until it starts to feel as if you're drawing a live person. A little later it would feel as if you're drawing yourself. Another easy way to meditate. Though, with this one, my mind usually wakes up at some point, ruining the drawing with rational analysis. The same with practising drums .. it's a meditation up to a few hours.
Found that when the weather is hot, then maintaining focus with a clear mind on pretty much anything keeps the internal winds circulating so that it feels nice and cool.
Remembered an old exercise I used to practise several years ago. Would download some more anime wallpapers with pretty girls. Would then take one and stare at it, until the mind goes blank .. then stare at it more, until the mind is immersed in the image and there is no more "I". Probably one of the easiest ways for a male to meditate.
Another great way is to draw or paint a pretty girl, until it starts to feel as if you're drawing a live person. A little later it would feel as if you're drawing yourself. Another easy way to meditate. Though, with this one, my mind usually wakes up at some point, ruining the drawing with rational analysis. The same with practising drums .. it's a meditation up to a few hours.
Rain-tilt
Last time I mentioned I didn't feel much of a difference during the Chi Gong exercises. Recently I have felt something familiar - the magnetic and tingly properties of psi.
In the morning I woke up into an alternate version of my room. It was a bit more messy and looked a bit different. But what spooked me a little .. the psi intensity was so strong that it even sort of frightened me. Didn't want to damage stuff in the room.
For the past few days I've been feeling attached and a bit stressed again for some unknown reason.
A strong rain .. or rather, slush fall during a 32 *C day.
Rotated the angle of rain 90 degrees (flipped wind direction), then back by 45 degrees so that it rained straight down again.
Started reading articles and theses from:
http://jamesaconrad.com/TK/tklab.html
I'm really enjoying "Psychokinesis and Its Possible Implication to Warfare Strategy" by W. Gary Norton (1985). Very well written work.
In the morning I woke up into an alternate version of my room. It was a bit more messy and looked a bit different. But what spooked me a little .. the psi intensity was so strong that it even sort of frightened me. Didn't want to damage stuff in the room.
For the past few days I've been feeling attached and a bit stressed again for some unknown reason.
A strong rain .. or rather, slush fall during a 32 *C day.
Rotated the angle of rain 90 degrees (flipped wind direction), then back by 45 degrees so that it rained straight down again.
Started reading articles and theses from:
http://jamesaconrad.com/TK/tklab.html
I'm really enjoying "Psychokinesis and Its Possible Implication to Warfare Strategy" by W. Gary Norton (1985). Very well written work.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Different
Something has changed during the last couple of days. Have seen a few bright yellow orbs fly around in the room. Started sleeping on my back again.
Chi gong, pranayama and some physical exercises have made a difference even though I haven't felt any different during the exercises. I can feel psi again, almost as I could several years ago. Memory and concentration have been enhanced as well.
Focused on myself sitting on top of my head in a full lotus meditation pose until I fell asleep last night. Before waking up, I experienced a hypnagogic image of my room door. Grabbed the image, focused on the crack between the wall and the door but couldn't maintain it for more than a few seconds.
Woke up, switched the laptop on and looked at the screen on the wall. Realized I was half-way in the wall with my field of consciousness. Looked outside of the balcony window, acquired the sensation of space around this building. Sat on the edge of my bed, looked at the bookshelf and immediately got the feeling of that.
An argument with sister. Tried to overcome my destructive thought patterns. However, I wasn't too happy about cleaning up the mess that sister had caused .. because she didn't want to clean it.
A discussion with sister. A few astral realization moments during the discussion. Realized the point of a ball of tension near the heart. Next realization was that once I let go of my strong arguments and focused on the lovely weather instead, sister's opposition to my arguments was dropped. A theory of what happened - consciousness became polarized. By focusing on a single polarity, the other polarity manifests to balance it out. Thus, a discussion leads nowhere as long as the participants assume sides.
Chi gong, pranayama and some physical exercises have made a difference even though I haven't felt any different during the exercises. I can feel psi again, almost as I could several years ago. Memory and concentration have been enhanced as well.
Focused on myself sitting on top of my head in a full lotus meditation pose until I fell asleep last night. Before waking up, I experienced a hypnagogic image of my room door. Grabbed the image, focused on the crack between the wall and the door but couldn't maintain it for more than a few seconds.
Woke up, switched the laptop on and looked at the screen on the wall. Realized I was half-way in the wall with my field of consciousness. Looked outside of the balcony window, acquired the sensation of space around this building. Sat on the edge of my bed, looked at the bookshelf and immediately got the feeling of that.
An argument with sister. Tried to overcome my destructive thought patterns. However, I wasn't too happy about cleaning up the mess that sister had caused .. because she didn't want to clean it.
A discussion with sister. A few astral realization moments during the discussion. Realized the point of a ball of tension near the heart. Next realization was that once I let go of my strong arguments and focused on the lovely weather instead, sister's opposition to my arguments was dropped. A theory of what happened - consciousness became polarized. By focusing on a single polarity, the other polarity manifests to balance it out. Thus, a discussion leads nowhere as long as the participants assume sides.
Sledge and snow
Took a nap in the evening and had a peculiar dream.
Saw a bunch of kids playing in the snow. One of them had a sledge and had obviously been sledging down the slope. The whole landscape was sloped and the buildings were built on the slope. Consciousness transferred into the kid with the sledge. Climbed up the slope (was a bit surprised that I didn't slip down) and sledged down. The kids down at a snowdrift said they would try to stop me by throwing snow balls at me. I said: "go ahead and try .. if you can". Went up the slope once again. Really enjoyed the weather and the environment. A really good view over the houses, pine trees, a river at the distance .. though, it was almost the time to go back home as it was late and getting dark. Previously I had sledged down from where I stood now. Thought I would go a little bit further this time (a couple steps to the top of the slope). However, when I took the next step, the dream environment became unstable .. suddenly everything changed. The snow disappeared, it was now autumn or something. Since it was a dream, I thought I would continue with the fun I had before taking that extra step. Took a lot of effort to drag the sledge on the grass and mud. Somehow got it going down the slope finally, I guess I ended up levitating and flying with the sledge, rather than sledging on the ground. Went pretty fast .. enjoyed the wind and the view. But once I got down there, the other kids were no longer there. Shouted for them for a couple of times .. oh well. So I just enjoyed the environment, then.
Something caught my attention. A thief girl. Saw her stealing clothes from someone, stopping a car to get somewhere and so on. Those images were in the form of summary of events. It looked as if she had had an accident or something, so needed clothes and stuff to get back to somewhere. She had a tough body that didn't seem natural (either partially artificial or at least tampered with). With her neck injured, she just fixed it herself and then injected something into the neck. I guess I had been curious about her for long enough so that my consciousness got transferred. She visited a doctor in a semi-abandoned building. The doctor walked into the room: "You know .. you should be dead." Me: "Naw, that wouldn't happen with this body." The doctor checked something on me and went back into the other room. The room I was in was rather empty and everything was brown. There was a table, though, and a small TV hanging from the ceiling. On the table, there were a few papers or magazines. Quickly glanced over and looked at the TV. It seemed a bit strange .. as if I was watching myself and the same summary of events or something. The doctor came back with a syringe and something similar but bigger. It sort of freaked me - just what the heck are they going to inject? But since it seemed more like a routine check-up for the girl, I just went along with it.
While injecting something into the right shoulder, the doctor said I shouldn't watch horror movies (as if a horror movie was being shown on the TV), that it's exceptionally harmful for me (somehow related to the body). Although it felt more as if she had said I shouldn't practise extreme sport or something.
I said I used to enjoy those when I was younger .. with a sort of a smirk that's common in horror movies. The doctor then did something with the bigger tool at the upper right of the neck. Some medicine got into my mouth. Asked if it's okay if I spit it out or something.
Dream ended, woke up still a bit tired. Went shopping .. the upper right of the neck felt .. tense.
I guess I get involved in random stuff too much. Should just "so what" and continue enjoying the environment.
Saw a bunch of kids playing in the snow. One of them had a sledge and had obviously been sledging down the slope. The whole landscape was sloped and the buildings were built on the slope. Consciousness transferred into the kid with the sledge. Climbed up the slope (was a bit surprised that I didn't slip down) and sledged down. The kids down at a snowdrift said they would try to stop me by throwing snow balls at me. I said: "go ahead and try .. if you can". Went up the slope once again. Really enjoyed the weather and the environment. A really good view over the houses, pine trees, a river at the distance .. though, it was almost the time to go back home as it was late and getting dark. Previously I had sledged down from where I stood now. Thought I would go a little bit further this time (a couple steps to the top of the slope). However, when I took the next step, the dream environment became unstable .. suddenly everything changed. The snow disappeared, it was now autumn or something. Since it was a dream, I thought I would continue with the fun I had before taking that extra step. Took a lot of effort to drag the sledge on the grass and mud. Somehow got it going down the slope finally, I guess I ended up levitating and flying with the sledge, rather than sledging on the ground. Went pretty fast .. enjoyed the wind and the view. But once I got down there, the other kids were no longer there. Shouted for them for a couple of times .. oh well. So I just enjoyed the environment, then.
Something caught my attention. A thief girl. Saw her stealing clothes from someone, stopping a car to get somewhere and so on. Those images were in the form of summary of events. It looked as if she had had an accident or something, so needed clothes and stuff to get back to somewhere. She had a tough body that didn't seem natural (either partially artificial or at least tampered with). With her neck injured, she just fixed it herself and then injected something into the neck. I guess I had been curious about her for long enough so that my consciousness got transferred. She visited a doctor in a semi-abandoned building. The doctor walked into the room: "You know .. you should be dead." Me: "Naw, that wouldn't happen with this body." The doctor checked something on me and went back into the other room. The room I was in was rather empty and everything was brown. There was a table, though, and a small TV hanging from the ceiling. On the table, there were a few papers or magazines. Quickly glanced over and looked at the TV. It seemed a bit strange .. as if I was watching myself and the same summary of events or something. The doctor came back with a syringe and something similar but bigger. It sort of freaked me - just what the heck are they going to inject? But since it seemed more like a routine check-up for the girl, I just went along with it.
While injecting something into the right shoulder, the doctor said I shouldn't watch horror movies (as if a horror movie was being shown on the TV), that it's exceptionally harmful for me (somehow related to the body). Although it felt more as if she had said I shouldn't practise extreme sport or something.
I said I used to enjoy those when I was younger .. with a sort of a smirk that's common in horror movies. The doctor then did something with the bigger tool at the upper right of the neck. Some medicine got into my mouth. Asked if it's okay if I spit it out or something.
Dream ended, woke up still a bit tired. Went shopping .. the upper right of the neck felt .. tense.
I guess I get involved in random stuff too much. Should just "so what" and continue enjoying the environment.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Thunder clouds
Really hot weather .. 36 *C. A lot of lightning clouds have come from Ukraine and washed over Estonia in the past couple of days. It does seem as if regions with battles and depression manifest colder weather.
There's a year-old construct surrounding this town, for protecting the groundstation. So far the lightning has either gone past from the west or .. just went past from the east. At around 6 PM, a cloud was moving towards the town. Then it was broken apart so that the western part went past, the eastern part of the cloud went past the town .. but the southern part just stopped before the town and slowly disintegrated.
After the last lightning alert last night, a small cloud appeared from somewhere while I was practising concentration on feeling the surroundings. Noticed that I was semi-subconsciously acquiring the sensation of gathering ions around the body. Quickly undid this before the cloud arrived. Wouldn't want to get zapped.
Other than that .. lightning's awesome. The visuals and the feeling of a thunder cloud flying past .. nudging it slightly towards the east with pk .. storm breaking loose .. heavy rain pouring down ..
There's a year-old construct surrounding this town, for protecting the groundstation. So far the lightning has either gone past from the west or .. just went past from the east. At around 6 PM, a cloud was moving towards the town. Then it was broken apart so that the western part went past, the eastern part of the cloud went past the town .. but the southern part just stopped before the town and slowly disintegrated.
 |
| 3 randomly timed screenshots of lightningmaps. |
Other than that .. lightning's awesome. The visuals and the feeling of a thunder cloud flying past .. nudging it slightly towards the east with pk .. storm breaking loose .. heavy rain pouring down ..
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Different lucidity
The intensity has subsided, it only lasted for about 3 days.
Started with Chi-Gong exercises yesterday evening. Thanks to MasterWoo for covertly sharing a few. For yesterday, the first and the most simple exercise was quite a feat already. Took me a while to get it going so that it would feel close enough to how I think it's supposed to be done. Belly breathing in that pose was a bit painful at first. Gradually the pain moved upwards and got stuck in the shoulders and throat. Some sort of lumps of psi moved down the arms as well. Consciousness jolted for a couple of times, which caused plant leaves to sway around.
Performed another session today morning. Took the first two exercises, but I guess I did not perform them quite correctly yet. It felt as if it barely made a difference.
A lot of thesis writing only to find that there's heaps of work to be done for a minor subject as well.
Took a short nap, which ended up as 3-4 hours of sleep. A lot of awkward dreams. However, one of them stood out because my mind acted in an unpredictable way. I was in a strange reality and came home. I was aware of it being different and all, so I was lucid in a sense. However, as I walked into the corridor that connects the living room and kitchen, I saw dad and sister in the kitchen, discussing something. In addition to them, there was a construct in the kitchen .. that's what they were discussing. It was a cel-shaded girl, as if cut out from an anime or something. The construct was supposed to be somehow associated with me .. didn't pay much attention to their chat. Stepped into the kitchen and noticed that both dad's as well as sister's arguments swayed my mind. The mind flipped from one side to the other, rising affection and aversion as cycles. Then suddenly I realized that none of that was actually relevant to me, because I was lucid dreaming anyway. Then the dream fell apart - without the cyclic affection and aversion, there was nothing left. Tried to keep it together somehow at first, because I wanted to continue sleeping for a little longer. Couldn't keep it together, consciousness gathered into my room and woke up .. and realized it was just one layer up, I wasn't fully awake yet.
There was another dream, where I was at some sort of a school building + research facility + dorm + cafeteria. Gathered with colleagues to discuss something at the cafeteria. Ate as well. For some reason, after I was full, the whole floor was covered in food and everything was a mess. I still had some on my plate. Ate it.
When I woke up in this reality, my body felt different. It felt very .. small, fine and lightweight.
During the past few days, I have realized a couple of more things.
Walked into the kitchen and grabbed a lot of cookies. The cookies were really good, but at some moment I realized that I've been constantly seeking something. And I've put in a lot of effort, too. However, the thing I've been seeking .. it's a phony. It's my own construct. So, basically, I've been playing a dog chasing its own tail.
Also realized that actually I have everything I need. Today I've been battling the habit of going shopping for stuff that I think I need but I actually don't. I don't need cookies, I don't need muesli, I don't need milk, I don't need a lot of stuff. I just need to enjoy the present moment a bit more.
Started with Chi-Gong exercises yesterday evening. Thanks to MasterWoo for covertly sharing a few. For yesterday, the first and the most simple exercise was quite a feat already. Took me a while to get it going so that it would feel close enough to how I think it's supposed to be done. Belly breathing in that pose was a bit painful at first. Gradually the pain moved upwards and got stuck in the shoulders and throat. Some sort of lumps of psi moved down the arms as well. Consciousness jolted for a couple of times, which caused plant leaves to sway around.
Performed another session today morning. Took the first two exercises, but I guess I did not perform them quite correctly yet. It felt as if it barely made a difference.
A lot of thesis writing only to find that there's heaps of work to be done for a minor subject as well.
Took a short nap, which ended up as 3-4 hours of sleep. A lot of awkward dreams. However, one of them stood out because my mind acted in an unpredictable way. I was in a strange reality and came home. I was aware of it being different and all, so I was lucid in a sense. However, as I walked into the corridor that connects the living room and kitchen, I saw dad and sister in the kitchen, discussing something. In addition to them, there was a construct in the kitchen .. that's what they were discussing. It was a cel-shaded girl, as if cut out from an anime or something. The construct was supposed to be somehow associated with me .. didn't pay much attention to their chat. Stepped into the kitchen and noticed that both dad's as well as sister's arguments swayed my mind. The mind flipped from one side to the other, rising affection and aversion as cycles. Then suddenly I realized that none of that was actually relevant to me, because I was lucid dreaming anyway. Then the dream fell apart - without the cyclic affection and aversion, there was nothing left. Tried to keep it together somehow at first, because I wanted to continue sleeping for a little longer. Couldn't keep it together, consciousness gathered into my room and woke up .. and realized it was just one layer up, I wasn't fully awake yet.
There was another dream, where I was at some sort of a school building + research facility + dorm + cafeteria. Gathered with colleagues to discuss something at the cafeteria. Ate as well. For some reason, after I was full, the whole floor was covered in food and everything was a mess. I still had some on my plate. Ate it.
When I woke up in this reality, my body felt different. It felt very .. small, fine and lightweight.
During the past few days, I have realized a couple of more things.
Walked into the kitchen and grabbed a lot of cookies. The cookies were really good, but at some moment I realized that I've been constantly seeking something. And I've put in a lot of effort, too. However, the thing I've been seeking .. it's a phony. It's my own construct. So, basically, I've been playing a dog chasing its own tail.
Also realized that actually I have everything I need. Today I've been battling the habit of going shopping for stuff that I think I need but I actually don't. I don't need cookies, I don't need muesli, I don't need milk, I don't need a lot of stuff. I just need to enjoy the present moment a bit more.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Hatred or intensity?
Have been pushing on levitation recently again. Yesterday evening on my way shopping, I observed a tall tree and acquired a strong feeling of levitating next to it. Almost as if I had already done it occasionally. Walked past a construction work of a children playground.
Last night I had a bright dream (sun was shining, lots of details) where I walked the same alley. Construction work again. Though, this time they had dropped a long tree. As I walked on the grass next to the tree, I noticed that the tree had a wooden hut on it. Continued walking .. several more huts that had been broken and brought down with the tree. There was a large tractor cutting branches and stripping the tree. Tried to stay out of the way. Figured I was safer flying past quickly. Lifted, flew and gradually increased speed to 70 km/h or something. Haven't flown so fast in a dream for years. Gradually slowed down at the end of the alley and descended back onto the grass.
A lot of mistakes recently. I try hard, I try several days and in the end the result is still the same as if I had not put forth any effort at all or sometimes it becomes even worse. This has caused anxiety and stubbornness but in a more or less controlled way. Realized that pretty much all aversion comes from the habit of not wanting to take responsibility for something.
Realized that polyphasic sleep doesn't work for me. The schedule is too chaotic. On Saturday and Sunday, I often sleep polyphasic. On Monday I can sleep biphasic at most. On Tuesday I can only sleep monophasic (because the whole day is a single monolithic chunk of meetings, work, seminars for 11 hours straight). Became real sleepy and a bit anxious on Tuesday because brain stopped working at the time when I had taken a nap on weekend and on Monday. However, couldn't afford sleep .. one meeting and one seminar left. The rest of the week is more free again.
Realized the core of a sensation that I usually try to avoid. At the core of the bubble it's intense love and heat. From the outside it looks more like hatred. This sort of psi is thick and of low mobility, it just blocks psi channels. Anyway, this thing keeps growing until I manage to throw psi away again. That's also why celibacy doesn't work. Anti-celibacy helps to flush it and bring the body back to its normal functionality again.
Could try to artificially make psi more liquid. Perhaps maintaining strong focus throughout the process also helps against stale psi. Though, strong focus again relates more to self-hatred than being relaxed or something. I guess this is occasionally called intensity, not anxiety or hatred. Anyway, I'll keep at it whether it's hatred or not. I don't f******n want weak focus.
Monday, May 12, 2014
Shallow dreams
After I found MC Yogi and started listening to his songs, dream sessions have become shorter and more shallow. I remember more. Though, the dreams have become a bit more weird as well.
My favorite, MC Yogi - Shanti (Peace Out):
Watched "Another" yesterday. Well it seemed promising at first, but it didn't live up to my expectations. Still, I guess it must've affected my dreams last night.
There are so many clips from the dreams throughout the past few weeks that I've forgotten what I saw and when.
Anyway, last night I had a dream where I was somewhere with a fire hazard. Knew this was the case and wanted to keep off an explosion. The strange thing about it .. the cause of the fire hazard was me. Something inside me was on fire. Rushed to drink tap water to extinguish the fire. Had difficulties drinking water, as my mouth and insides were full of tiny glass shards. Tried to spit them out but that wasn't possible. This reminded me of when I had a body that had feet and mouth directly connected (whatever I stepped on, I could taste in my mouth).
In a dream, I walked from one room to another. Found my fleece hanging on a chair. Picked it up to take it into my room. Once in my room, I realized there was something in the fleece. It had dark hair .. might've looked spooky if I had somehow resonated with that feeling. Well, I didn't. It turned out there was a teddy dog in the fleece. The teddy dog eyes looked as if it were angry at me not being frightened. Wondered how it got there and stuffed it into the cabinet where it belonged.
In another dream, I had caught fish and was separating its internals from flesh so that I could cook it. I clearly remember the effort it took to tear the guts. Very weird thing to experience in a dream.
This slightly reminds me of a dream from a week or two ago, where we were at an old barn building with the youngest uncle. We were cooking .. vacuum lamps and old electronics boards.
Woke up in the wrong room several times again, before waking up in my real room. A few times in my old room and a few times in random hotels I haven't been to in this life.
In another dream about a week ago, I guess, there was a clip where I saw an UFO crash into the back yard. A brown creature crawled out. Leaped out of the window, really excited "Finally I get to meet an alien!". I guess in the end it turned out to be nothing that spectacular.
Well, that's that. Yesterday I laid in bed with the chin pressing against the pillow. Head turned out of body (towards one of the sides) each time I did that.
My favorite, MC Yogi - Shanti (Peace Out):
Watched "Another" yesterday. Well it seemed promising at first, but it didn't live up to my expectations. Still, I guess it must've affected my dreams last night.
There are so many clips from the dreams throughout the past few weeks that I've forgotten what I saw and when.
Anyway, last night I had a dream where I was somewhere with a fire hazard. Knew this was the case and wanted to keep off an explosion. The strange thing about it .. the cause of the fire hazard was me. Something inside me was on fire. Rushed to drink tap water to extinguish the fire. Had difficulties drinking water, as my mouth and insides were full of tiny glass shards. Tried to spit them out but that wasn't possible. This reminded me of when I had a body that had feet and mouth directly connected (whatever I stepped on, I could taste in my mouth).
In a dream, I walked from one room to another. Found my fleece hanging on a chair. Picked it up to take it into my room. Once in my room, I realized there was something in the fleece. It had dark hair .. might've looked spooky if I had somehow resonated with that feeling. Well, I didn't. It turned out there was a teddy dog in the fleece. The teddy dog eyes looked as if it were angry at me not being frightened. Wondered how it got there and stuffed it into the cabinet where it belonged.
In another dream, I had caught fish and was separating its internals from flesh so that I could cook it. I clearly remember the effort it took to tear the guts. Very weird thing to experience in a dream.
This slightly reminds me of a dream from a week or two ago, where we were at an old barn building with the youngest uncle. We were cooking .. vacuum lamps and old electronics boards.
Woke up in the wrong room several times again, before waking up in my real room. A few times in my old room and a few times in random hotels I haven't been to in this life.
In another dream about a week ago, I guess, there was a clip where I saw an UFO crash into the back yard. A brown creature crawled out. Leaped out of the window, really excited "Finally I get to meet an alien!". I guess in the end it turned out to be nothing that spectacular.
Well, that's that. Yesterday I laid in bed with the chin pressing against the pillow. Head turned out of body (towards one of the sides) each time I did that.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Living charcoal statue
Right.. also had strange dreams last night. Wasn't aware.
I was at the central square at a strange time.
A friend had a collar around his neck. He stepped on a podium, poured oil over the collar and lit it on fire. I felt a bit uneasy about that. But I believed he wouldn't be harmed. The collar burned off and he was still more or less fine.
However, there was someone else .. someone more brave. They chained him on a stand, poured oil all over him and threw a small flaming stick. I was scared for his well-being while I saw him turn into a charcoal statue. Although I couldn't see it, he wasn't dead. In the lump of charcoal, he moved slightly every now and then, protecting his body. Most of the fire had worn off, when I noticed a small flame moving towards a vital spot. If that reaches the spot, he's gone. However, just before the flame reached the spot, he put the fire off with his mind. His demonstration was finished. He was no longer there in his physical form, but he never left his place in the non-physical. He was a true yogi.
I was at the central square at a strange time.
A friend had a collar around his neck. He stepped on a podium, poured oil over the collar and lit it on fire. I felt a bit uneasy about that. But I believed he wouldn't be harmed. The collar burned off and he was still more or less fine.
However, there was someone else .. someone more brave. They chained him on a stand, poured oil all over him and threw a small flaming stick. I was scared for his well-being while I saw him turn into a charcoal statue. Although I couldn't see it, he wasn't dead. In the lump of charcoal, he moved slightly every now and then, protecting his body. Most of the fire had worn off, when I noticed a small flame moving towards a vital spot. If that reaches the spot, he's gone. However, just before the flame reached the spot, he put the fire off with his mind. His demonstration was finished. He was no longer there in his physical form, but he never left his place in the non-physical. He was a true yogi.
Feedback around time
Thought I had nothing to post. Had even forgotten what that nothing was.
Yesterday I worked on a presentation. It stressed me a lot, because with this presentation, I would be facing one of my biggest insecurities so far. Presenting a few key concepts from my viewpoint of the world to fellow students. A few of these concepts have been publicly ridiculed by several friends, lecturers, and one professor who even highlighted it during the graduation ceremony.
The reason for such a subject is simple - thought about the subject for months and couldn't come up with any other subject that would do. Also, this one really matters, even if the audience rejects it. Shall try to serve it in such a way that I would make a lot of hints but inspire the audience to research, experiment and decide themselves.
Anyway, while making this presentation, I experienced deja vu of presenting it several times. Almost managed to do it on demand. Each time I took the feeling into account and improved the presentation. As if designing the future by making modifications in the present and checking the results in the future if it changed the way I wanted it to. This is the first time this has occurred to such an extent.
It's supposed to be just 10 minutes and at first I had wanted to show some video clips as well. Ended up adding some slides instead, because otherwise it wouldn't have the intended effect. The ideas are the most important. Once the audience has been inspired, they could look up the videos on their own anyway.
At night, saw a lot of green leaves and plants everywhere around me. It's been a while.
Have been considering taking up polyphasic sleep. Even though, my current sleep pattern is already biphasic, unless it's a long day at school or work.
Yesterday I worked on a presentation. It stressed me a lot, because with this presentation, I would be facing one of my biggest insecurities so far. Presenting a few key concepts from my viewpoint of the world to fellow students. A few of these concepts have been publicly ridiculed by several friends, lecturers, and one professor who even highlighted it during the graduation ceremony.
The reason for such a subject is simple - thought about the subject for months and couldn't come up with any other subject that would do. Also, this one really matters, even if the audience rejects it. Shall try to serve it in such a way that I would make a lot of hints but inspire the audience to research, experiment and decide themselves.
Anyway, while making this presentation, I experienced deja vu of presenting it several times. Almost managed to do it on demand. Each time I took the feeling into account and improved the presentation. As if designing the future by making modifications in the present and checking the results in the future if it changed the way I wanted it to. This is the first time this has occurred to such an extent.
It's supposed to be just 10 minutes and at first I had wanted to show some video clips as well. Ended up adding some slides instead, because otherwise it wouldn't have the intended effect. The ideas are the most important. Once the audience has been inspired, they could look up the videos on their own anyway.
At night, saw a lot of green leaves and plants everywhere around me. It's been a while.
Have been considering taking up polyphasic sleep. Even though, my current sleep pattern is already biphasic, unless it's a long day at school or work.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
More performance, less battery life
Stumbled on the problem of food not being digested again. Living without eating is not for me yet. So, I tweaked the metabolism a little. Food should now be converted into psi more rapidly. Body clock frequency increased (at the expense of a shorter life cycle?). Food digests pretty fast now. Also, recently I've been digging sweets .. with a lot of sugar content.
Recently I've also been trying to reincorporate some concentration exercises into the daily life. Some good exercises from here:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/08/12-concentration-exercises-from-1918/
Yesterday evening, a neighbour ringed the bell and asked if he could use the internet. Offered my laptop. Nothing to do for hours .. er .. *grabs the dream and sleep yoga book from the bookshelf and starts reading it from the end towards the beginning*. Found a lot of interesting ideas and inspiring exercises again.
Recognized some of the surrounding psi field. There is some progress.
Recently I've also been trying to reincorporate some concentration exercises into the daily life. Some good exercises from here:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/08/12-concentration-exercises-from-1918/
Yesterday evening, a neighbour ringed the bell and asked if he could use the internet. Offered my laptop. Nothing to do for hours .. er .. *grabs the dream and sleep yoga book from the bookshelf and starts reading it from the end towards the beginning*. Found a lot of interesting ideas and inspiring exercises again.
Recognized some of the surrounding psi field. There is some progress.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Grow consciousness
Slept with the balcony door open this morning. Felt more fresh.
Yesterday evening I somehow grew consciousness by focusing on it with the shape that it had + a little bit more. Then took the next layer, focused on that, then an even larger layer and so on. Little by little in very small steps. Couldn't tell it was growing at all, until I suddenly noticed that the psi field felt pretty dense. Started letting go, little by little, to not feed any desires as well as to compare the sensation to how it was before. I must've fallen asleep or something. When I came to again, the comparison was lost and it felt as if there was a slight permanent increase in the psi field density.
Yesterday evening I somehow grew consciousness by focusing on it with the shape that it had + a little bit more. Then took the next layer, focused on that, then an even larger layer and so on. Little by little in very small steps. Couldn't tell it was growing at all, until I suddenly noticed that the psi field felt pretty dense. Started letting go, little by little, to not feed any desires as well as to compare the sensation to how it was before. I must've fallen asleep or something. When I came to again, the comparison was lost and it felt as if there was a slight permanent increase in the psi field density.
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