For reference

Steve Richard's "The Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane", pages 69-70.

In Swedenborg's visions the 'realms' were arranged hierarchically,
with the Heavens above, the Hells below, and the 'World of Spirits' -
which would correspond to the astral plane - in the middle. He says that in the World of Spirits' there are hells under every mountain, hill, and rock, and under every plain and valley. The entire heaven and World of Spirits are, as it were, excavated beneath, and under them is a continuous hell'[11] 'The Hells are not seen', he says, 'because they are closed up. Only the entrances, which are called gates, are seen when they are opened to let in other spirits.' [12] Even' the gates and doors of the hells are visible only to those who are about to enter. '[13] Those gates which are beneath 'the mountains, hills, and rocks', he says, 'appear like holes and clefts in the rocks, some extended and wide, some straightened and narrow, and many of them rugged.'[14] As for those gates to be found beneath plains and valleys, 'some resemble those that are beneath the mountains, hills, and rocks; some resemble dens and caverns, some great chasms and whirlpools; some resemble bogs, and some standing water. '[15] At each gate' a monster commonly appears that represents in a general way the forms of those within'[16] 'When they are opened there bursts forth from them either something like the fire and smoke that is seen in the air from burning buildings, or like a flame without smoke, or like soot such as comes from a burning chimney, or like a mist and thick
cloud. ' [17] He says that' a dense fire' comes from the gates of hells' where the love of self prevails', and' a flaming fire' from the gates of hells 'where the love of the world prevails .. . . When the hells are closed this fiery appearance is not seen, but in its place there is a kind of obscurity like a condensation of smoke, although the fire still rages within ' The hell-dwellers, though, are' conscious of no burning' since' the fire is only an appearance'. They feel ' only warmth, like that which they had felt when in the world' since they' are as in their own atmosphere. '[18] All the hells, 'when looked into, appear dark and dusky.'[19] 'When they are opened gloomy and seemingly sooty caverns and dens in rocks [are seen] extending inward and then downward, either obliquely or vertically, into an abyss, where there are many doors. '[20] Some of these looked like ' dens and caves of wild beasts in forests', whereas others resembled 'the hollow caverns and passages that are seen in mines, with caverns extending towards the lower regions.' Now from' these caverns nauseous and fetid stenches exhale' which he compares with ' the odour from dung and excrement in the world .... In the worst hells [it is] like the odour of dead bodies. '[21] He says that ' evil spirits seek for [these smells] because they delight in them. For as every one in the world has been delighted with his own evil so after death he is delighted with the
stench to which his evil corresponds. '[22]

[11] Emmanuel Swedenborg, Heaven And Its Wonders, And Hell. translated by J.C. Ager. New York: The American Swedenborg Printing and Publishing Company. 1925. p.385.
[12] Ibid. p.380.
[13] Ibid, p.263.
[14] Ibid, p.380.
[15] Ibid. p.381.
[16] Ibid, p.359.
[17] Ibid. p.381.
[18] Ibid. pp.372. 381.
[19] Ibid. p.380.
[20] Ibid. pp.263, 382.
[21] Ibid. pp.263. 75.
[22] Ibid. p.263.

---

This fits rather well with the caving story. Perhaps it indicates that a lot of astral realms are multi-layered and partially span the material world as well. Poor cavers breaking down into their own hell.

This story further demonstrates the grotesque nature of the caving story:
[30] Eliphas Levi, "La Clef des Grands Mysteres". Paris: Diffusion Scientifique, updated, pp.110-111.

For the record

A few posts back I referenced Ted's caving page. Will reference again.
Here it is:
http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/page1.html

The symbol next to the moving boulder, adapted from Ted's caving page.

Since sister remembers being in a dark room between incarnations, I asked her if this symbol means anything to her. Next day she said it reminded her that she spent her time drawing in the dark. She imagined a plane to draw on, and drew symbols that matched her state of mind or emotions. She said she definitely remembers the downward stroke, which was the most prominent in the symbols that she drew.

/mildlyinteresting.

Smile :)

A geist that made me smile.

Happened to be listening to music and writing a test report, when I noticed a dust smiley in a corner of the image sensor. At the same time, the vocals said "Still had a smile on my face". Koven - Breathing me in, by the way.

Santa brought a book "101 sacred places in Estonia". Nice. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get anything even slightly witchy from the skeptical grandfather.

Rituals must be finished

To be honest, I didn't consider it much of a ritual. But mid-today I suddenly realized I hadn't finished the ritual.

I'll list the steps:

1. Gather in a circle.
2. Start dancing (slower rhythms at first).
3. A break.
4. Gather in a circle, around a candle that has a ring of cards around it.
5. One by one, everyone is welcome to circle around the ring of cards and pick one.
6. Pens are handed out, to have everyone write down what it is they will relieve themselves of. And what the following life will be like.
7. The cards are put on a table with candles in the four corners.
8. Another session of dancing, with focus on becoming rid of what was written on the paper. Faster rhythms, ending with somewhat calmer songs with powerful messages.
9. A break.
10. Last session of dancing, the culmination of cleansing. Very fast rhythms, with chaotic and somewhat abrupt transitions.
11. A break.
12. Short meditation session.
13. Gather in a circle around candles and food.
14. Sing powerful songs - like chants ("Fly like an eagle," and the band's own songs).
15. Hugging other participants and thanking them.
16. Take the card, turn it around and read the quote for yourself.

Here's the step that wasn't mentioned .. and I nearly missed:

• Wash off the sweat, visualizing letting go of what I wrote on the card. Must be done before going to bed (I didn't).

The issue was that the old constructs were anxiously clinging to me afraid of being released. So all of the old issues came back amplified and kept prodding me for half of the next day.

Typically I don't do rituals. I don't consider them necessary. It's easy to place too much importance in the rituals and forget what it's all actually about.

Witchdance

There was some kind of a Gong concert / dancing event yesterday. Took my camera from work and joined just on a whim, because a colleague was going. As it turned out, they needed a cameraman and I just happened to stumble in through the door.

I was certain I couldn't dance (perhaps 21 or 22 years since I last danced .. in the kindergarten). Also, haven't done any sports for half a year. Apparently I didn't know myself well enough. I treated it as a relaxation exercise and tried to involve as many muscles as possible, while constantly inventing different moves. Two hours of (intense) dancing and I wasn't even out of breath or tired. Eventually I did integrate Qigong exercises into the dancing moves, to re-energize.

After that, a meditative concert with crystal bowls and Gongs. Released a lot of attachments, but didn't quite enter a meditative state yet.

Then, a round of singing. Another thing that I've tried to avoid, saying that I can't sing. It's perhaps slightly over 10 years that I last participated in a choir. Tried to overcome this insecurity as well. Found it interesting, how the candles danced to the singing .. much like we had danced before.

In the end, nobody wanted to leave .. not after all this work to produce good energetics.

Sister's theory of uncle's rebirth

The previous post reminded me of a discussion one evening.

Background: One of the uncles died due to brain tumour. He was a musician, who collected ancient songs, rhymes and modernized them.

Sister said that the newborn son of another uncle reminded her of the deceased one. "The decision to be reborn into the family would be so like him," she said. I agreed, but assuming that's the case, I felt sorry for him to have made such a decision.

Imagine being him, reborn so that his sisters are now over 40 years older than him. He wants to talk to them but can't - hasn't learned to speak yet. He would probably outlive all his brothers, sisters, and his own children. Moreover, his sisters singing him to sleep with his own songs. No wonder he would start crying on that (which he did).

Sister pictured being reborn like this as something nice. To me it seems rather harsh - why would anyone want to live a life like that?

Afraid of responsibilities?

Read Steve Richard's "The Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane" on the bus again yesterday. The section about astral sex, the alignment of bodies on all the numerous planes, as well as the formation of a vortex that pulls in souls from the planes. This answered a lot of questions I didn't know I had .. and made me reinterpret a lot of dreams.

Practised memory recall before falling asleep yesterday. Random numbers, quotes from radio, etc.

Attended the birthday party of an old classmate in dreams. A very nice and bright dream, I might add. Back in school, I didn't think much of him, I didn't like him and he didn't like me. We've only bumped into each-other twice since then. Very random of me to dream of him. Checked and he does not have a birthday today. His birthday is 10 days before mine.

A faint glimpse at the golden fog (I think), at noon. In the evening I re-realized the power of balanced focus. On the way home, I focused on the lights of cars passing by, for perhaps a minute. This brought a moment of clarity.


Found some scenes of "X-Files S01E12 - Fire" a pretty good inspiration for pyrokinesis practice. Unfortunately, Cecil failed to use it for meritorious purposes. Found it interesting how Mulder was pushed to face his greatest fear and how he handled it.

S01E13 brought tears, though. Maybe that's the episode that first got me into thinking empathy was the best punishment against crime. The episode was about a mass murderer, who had turned psychic. He was constantly being tortured by the stares of all his victims from beyond their graves. He became terrified of having to face all of them on death. But that was not enough, he was still treated as a mass murderer and sentenced to death.

I guess my biggest fear at this point is being assigned responsibilities that I'm unable to fulfil. One of the cycles again, as this fear makes it difficult to fulfil responsibilities.

Light and dark

Light

Inspired by the new X-files, I watched a couple of episodes from the old series yesterday .. and a few today. I grew up to the old X-files and it packs a lot of memories.

After watching some exceptionally creepy episodes, I went to bed and dreamt of a sunny day .. which I spent on climbing a lighthouse. It looked something like EL-5199, but a lot bigger.

And dark

Other than that, in relation to the caving story I read from here:
http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/page1.html

It seemed as if the creature were friendly, but the cavers a bit unintelligent. Tried visualizing myself there, and it didn't feel bad. Probably not meant for entering with a body, though. Anyway, remembered a dream from years ago where I showed up in some pitch black dark caves with a large hall and arched doorways. I saw people moving around and became curious about what lies beyond the doorways. Some kind of a guard stopped me and told me I couldn't enter and had to leave.

Also, I was wondering if the caving story had any relation to the Halls of Amenti mentioned in Thoth's emerald tablets. Or perhaps a place where Earth's souls retreat between incarnations - aka the dark room with a lot of people that sister still remembers from before birth.

Compressed time

Busy times.

For the past 2 years I've felt as if 1 year of my life were packed with 5 years of content. When I finally calculated my age again, I was quite surprised. Still find it difficult to believe. It seems it's getting more dense - last couple of weeks have felt like a couple of months.

Somewhere in between I managed to optimize the speed of tying shoelaces. Unfortunately my boots don't support long shoelaces too well, so there's not as much of a speed improvement as I expected. In any case, this was enough to trigger a change of mindset (and break out of the cycle) for some time. Thanks to Kakashi for the momentum. He tried to master everything in life, just because why not.

In general, dreams have been nice. Until waking up into the mess. There was a night with not as pleasant dreams, though. After working (actually work + school) for 22 hours straight, I witnessed apocalyptic dreams for 2 hours. An irreversible contamination of water. The contamination was too great for Earth to handle.

I wonder what it is that I need to learn from this. Tens of deadlines creeping in from everywhere, some restrictive, some impossible. And then at the same time, there's a lot of other stuff that needs to be dealt with .. in addition to people praising for being amazing and keeping up with all the deadlines (which is a lie that they just like to believe). Apparently I haven't mastered stuff to become efficient enough to meet all the deadlines. Actually there is a trait that is being trained throughout this mess - ability to calmly assess the situation regardless of the situation. Regardless, I take things too seriously. But they are serious, are they not?

In the meantime, I've become heavier again.

I guess there's something else that I've learned as well in the meantime. While data is being processed, I've realized random things about life, ZPE and propulsion.