Took a lot of naps and attempted OBE during the weekend. Went outside once or twice and became entrained to the surroundings. Uninstalled XCOM and installed Civ V yesterday. I was enchanted. Played it till 0 AM.
Went to bed with the intention of practising focus to blank my mind before falling asleep. Picked up pranayama again. Haven't practised it for quite a while again .. it was awesome. Several times I witnessed breath cessation with a blank mind. Then focused on top of the head. Something happened with my focus, a breath cessation again and the psi density on top of the head increased dramatically. The psi density caused the feeling of a wobbly space-time, a strong heat and the feeling of being more awake than I've been during the past couple of years. I barely fell asleep - I was lucid for most of the time.
Woke up with a pk hangover, though. But the ability to concentrate has increased remarkably.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Scalar
Have been reading some more about scalar fields and the history of Maxwell equations. Interesting stuff.
Although I haven't understood most of it yet, aether and scalar waves seem to describe psychokinesis, telepathy and geisting quite nicely, in addition to zpe generators.
After a chat with father, gravity also seems to follow quite logically.
Although I haven't understood most of it yet, aether and scalar waves seem to describe psychokinesis, telepathy and geisting quite nicely, in addition to zpe generators.
After a chat with father, gravity also seems to follow quite logically.
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Real conspiracy
Sister has been telling me some pretty wild conspiracy stuff. What makes it freaky, though, is that it's real life. I tried to calm her a little .. I hope I wasn't wrong. Shall probably post about it once there's more details and more proof.
I've read a lot of conspiracy theories and I wouldn't want any of them to be real.
A bit of geisting while I listened to her stories. A 3L plastic bottle made a crackling sound in the kitchen. Something snapped in the living-room as well.
I've read a lot of conspiracy theories and I wouldn't want any of them to be real.
A bit of geisting while I listened to her stories. A 3L plastic bottle made a crackling sound in the kitchen. Something snapped in the living-room as well.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Summary
A lot has happened, just haven't had the internet / time to post.
Some events that came to mind:
#1
A lot of work to do and hadn't had the time to do anything. Wasn't too happy about it. Anyway, the first lecture that morning. The lecturer targeted me because he thought I was the sulky one (it's a commonly used method to try to get the attention of the worst of the audience as soon as possible). He picked a random person in the audience and let them pick a random number. I knew he would get me. He counted and got me.
#2
Rainy weather. Someone found a scorpion on the corridor floor and posted it on the FB group. Someone else found scorpions in their bathroom. Glanced at the tiny scorpion in the corridor. It just was, sometimes it walked a bit, then it just was .. again. It felt as if I was looking at myself (I'm a scorpion).
#3
We visited San Marino. A lot of weapon stores (knives, swords, pistols, rifles, automatic rifles, shotguns, etc.). A few stores with T-shirts and caps that had "Obey" written on them in different neon colours. To me, this seemed a bit awkward.
That day they held an archery festival in San Marino. Also there was some sort of a cosplay event or something. Spiderman, batman, batgirl, female Vegeta (from Dragon Ball Z) walked past me. Darth Vader was chatting with some locals there.
#4
A dream. I found myself in Estonia again, wondering how to get back to Italy. However, this time I was not as nervous as the previous times.
#5
Another dream. I'm standing in front of a white wall. To my right there's a window or something. I create a small rectangular frame (looks like a picture frame) on the wall. I then somehow create a portal into the frame. Through the portal, I can see a classroom .. I can even stick my hand into the portal and touch the wall on the other end. Awesome... .... ...
.. .... some sort of a creature appears behind me, to my left. This creature is not human and he glows golden-white. He appeared to teach me something about portals. I let him connect to my mind. A lot of data was transferred, but it was incomprehensive for the rational mind and I can't recall it.
#6
One Saturday I was playing Populous or something, when the fire alarm went off. Ignored it at first. A couple of minutes later I decided to step out to see what's going on. Stepped out :::click::: Realized that the door closed behind me and I had left my keycard in there. Oh well. Anyway, it seemed that Italians are serious about fire alarms (doors close automatically, a voice instructs in several languages and so on..). After some looking-around, I decided to start walking towards the town centre because the roommate had most likely gone that way. Bumped into my roommate about 50 meters later.
One day I wished I would meet the contact person of <satellite X>. The next day the contact person was replacing someone else and giving the lectures.
One day I wished I would meet another person from the company involved in the development of <satellite X>. The next day he was giving a practical.
Synchronicity is very helpful.
#7
The lights were pulsing occasionally (in both Bertinoro as well as in Forli). Often got entrained and flickered them semi-subconsciously.
#8
Ah right, in Italy it seems there's a fair, concerts and stuff each Saturday. Bought another Tibetan singing bowl from Bertinoro. This one has a higher pitch than the one we have at home .. it's a lot louder, too.
#9
Lightning is awesome in Italy. There's thunder and everything is bright for hours. In Estonia it rarely strikes and thunder clouds leave really fast.
#10
Wanted to visit the Chinese restaurant there. Just before departure, we were brought to the Chinese restaurant.
Sat next to a colleague. When he was about to take the second glass of sake, I saw in my mind how he would just collapse. After drinking it, he said he felt he was going to collapse for a moment. Discussed his problems with him. For some reason, Estonians and Polish guys were always drunk, shouting rude words and not behaving well. Didn't feel too proud about being from Eastern Europe.
In the restaurant they offered fortune cookies made in Germany. Mine said "Your biggest strength is calmness." The colleague had a message that said he had multiple choices and that sometimes it's better to take a different choice than continue the same path. I was impressed, hopefully he was also.
The next morning I realized the depth of the message in my fortune cookie. Our flight was cancelled. Crowded with nervous people. Felt compassion towards the lady who had to deal with the issue of re-routing flights. Also felt compassion towards a guy because of whom the lady became nervous (if I understood it correctly, it was the only plane for that guy). Noticed his calmness as well as the fact that almost all of his bags had the Om symbol.
For a moment it seemed that some of us won't fit on the next plane, which would have meant 10 more hours of waiting. A couple of miracles later, we still got tickets to the next plane.
In Tallinn, as the first thing, I saw 2 pums so drunk that one of them had puke-blocked the whole road. Then saw 2 more pums, dance-walking around. Right .. Eastern Europe.
#11
Focused on unconditional love towards the trees, ground, air, everything. Previously I couldn't see how this would let me progress, because willpower was always somewhat aggressive.
Some days later I realized I had become aware of another path. I could focus on unconditional love towards myself, while I could still maintain the will to evolve and push my limits. So far I had thought these were mutually exclusive but actually there was no conflict there.
#12
Missed the signals of a big energy leak. Then messed up even further.
Also became anxious about something that evening. After becoming anxious, the emotional background looked more gloomy and it took a lot of effort to find my way back to focusing on unconditional love again.
#13
Yesterday I found that something was different about meditation. It worked out different. Somehow I became more absorbed in myself.
Today I noticed how I became nervous when some people presenting at the conference weren't doing too well. I didn't understand why I would become nervous because of something like that.
Ah, also .. @iMm0rTa1: Have you read "The Universal Medicine" by Nicholas D. Collette yet? It describes an interesting methodology for producing ORMUS.
Father has done some research into ORMUS in the meanwhile and he has arrived at an interesting theory. He said since it has the effect of negative weight in sunlight and since ocean water contains the most monoatomic gold, it probably rises from the ocean. In Collette's book, the morning dew is exceptionally important. Near the ocean, morning dew is condensed ocean water. Father also had the idea that perhaps it's not the salt that's so important - maybe salt only helps to extract ORMUS from the dew.
Some events that came to mind:
#1
A lot of work to do and hadn't had the time to do anything. Wasn't too happy about it. Anyway, the first lecture that morning. The lecturer targeted me because he thought I was the sulky one (it's a commonly used method to try to get the attention of the worst of the audience as soon as possible). He picked a random person in the audience and let them pick a random number. I knew he would get me. He counted and got me.
- So, he asked me: "What's your mission in life?"
- Me: "I don't have a mission. <long pause> I guess I just go with the flow and do what's fun."
- Teacher: "If you're looking for fun, then you should've gone into show business, instead."
- Audience laughs hard
- Me: "Nah, for me, engineering is fun also."
- <audience laughs hard>
- Teacher: "It's you again. <looks at the rest of the audience, pointing at me> After the lectures, when this guy steps out of the room, he's gonna win a lottery. <looks back at me> What would you like to have custom made for you?"
- Me: "I don't know. <long pause> The only thing that comes to mind is the optics for <satellite X>" (note that the whole event was the workshop of <satellite X>).
- Audience: "C'mon, no imagination at all? Wtf, dude."
- Teacher: "There's nothing else that you would want?"
- Me: "<long pause> No, I'll stick to the optics."
#2
Rainy weather. Someone found a scorpion on the corridor floor and posted it on the FB group. Someone else found scorpions in their bathroom. Glanced at the tiny scorpion in the corridor. It just was, sometimes it walked a bit, then it just was .. again. It felt as if I was looking at myself (I'm a scorpion).
#3
We visited San Marino. A lot of weapon stores (knives, swords, pistols, rifles, automatic rifles, shotguns, etc.). A few stores with T-shirts and caps that had "Obey" written on them in different neon colours. To me, this seemed a bit awkward.
That day they held an archery festival in San Marino. Also there was some sort of a cosplay event or something. Spiderman, batman, batgirl, female Vegeta (from Dragon Ball Z) walked past me. Darth Vader was chatting with some locals there.
#4
A dream. I found myself in Estonia again, wondering how to get back to Italy. However, this time I was not as nervous as the previous times.
#5
Another dream. I'm standing in front of a white wall. To my right there's a window or something. I create a small rectangular frame (looks like a picture frame) on the wall. I then somehow create a portal into the frame. Through the portal, I can see a classroom .. I can even stick my hand into the portal and touch the wall on the other end. Awesome... .... ...
.. .... some sort of a creature appears behind me, to my left. This creature is not human and he glows golden-white. He appeared to teach me something about portals. I let him connect to my mind. A lot of data was transferred, but it was incomprehensive for the rational mind and I can't recall it.
#6
One Saturday I was playing Populous or something, when the fire alarm went off. Ignored it at first. A couple of minutes later I decided to step out to see what's going on. Stepped out :::click::: Realized that the door closed behind me and I had left my keycard in there. Oh well. Anyway, it seemed that Italians are serious about fire alarms (doors close automatically, a voice instructs in several languages and so on..). After some looking-around, I decided to start walking towards the town centre because the roommate had most likely gone that way. Bumped into my roommate about 50 meters later.
One day I wished I would meet the contact person of <satellite X>. The next day the contact person was replacing someone else and giving the lectures.
One day I wished I would meet another person from the company involved in the development of <satellite X>. The next day he was giving a practical.
Synchronicity is very helpful.
#7
The lights were pulsing occasionally (in both Bertinoro as well as in Forli). Often got entrained and flickered them semi-subconsciously.
#8
Ah right, in Italy it seems there's a fair, concerts and stuff each Saturday. Bought another Tibetan singing bowl from Bertinoro. This one has a higher pitch than the one we have at home .. it's a lot louder, too.
#9
Lightning is awesome in Italy. There's thunder and everything is bright for hours. In Estonia it rarely strikes and thunder clouds leave really fast.
#10
Wanted to visit the Chinese restaurant there. Just before departure, we were brought to the Chinese restaurant.
Sat next to a colleague. When he was about to take the second glass of sake, I saw in my mind how he would just collapse. After drinking it, he said he felt he was going to collapse for a moment. Discussed his problems with him. For some reason, Estonians and Polish guys were always drunk, shouting rude words and not behaving well. Didn't feel too proud about being from Eastern Europe.
In the restaurant they offered fortune cookies made in Germany. Mine said "Your biggest strength is calmness." The colleague had a message that said he had multiple choices and that sometimes it's better to take a different choice than continue the same path. I was impressed, hopefully he was also.
The next morning I realized the depth of the message in my fortune cookie. Our flight was cancelled. Crowded with nervous people. Felt compassion towards the lady who had to deal with the issue of re-routing flights. Also felt compassion towards a guy because of whom the lady became nervous (if I understood it correctly, it was the only plane for that guy). Noticed his calmness as well as the fact that almost all of his bags had the Om symbol.
For a moment it seemed that some of us won't fit on the next plane, which would have meant 10 more hours of waiting. A couple of miracles later, we still got tickets to the next plane.
In Tallinn, as the first thing, I saw 2 pums so drunk that one of them had puke-blocked the whole road. Then saw 2 more pums, dance-walking around. Right .. Eastern Europe.
#11
Focused on unconditional love towards the trees, ground, air, everything. Previously I couldn't see how this would let me progress, because willpower was always somewhat aggressive.
Some days later I realized I had become aware of another path. I could focus on unconditional love towards myself, while I could still maintain the will to evolve and push my limits. So far I had thought these were mutually exclusive but actually there was no conflict there.
#12
Missed the signals of a big energy leak. Then messed up even further.
Also became anxious about something that evening. After becoming anxious, the emotional background looked more gloomy and it took a lot of effort to find my way back to focusing on unconditional love again.
#13
Yesterday I found that something was different about meditation. It worked out different. Somehow I became more absorbed in myself.
Today I noticed how I became nervous when some people presenting at the conference weren't doing too well. I didn't understand why I would become nervous because of something like that.
Ah, also .. @iMm0rTa1: Have you read "The Universal Medicine" by Nicholas D. Collette yet? It describes an interesting methodology for producing ORMUS.
Father has done some research into ORMUS in the meanwhile and he has arrived at an interesting theory. He said since it has the effect of negative weight in sunlight and since ocean water contains the most monoatomic gold, it probably rises from the ocean. In Collette's book, the morning dew is exceptionally important. Near the ocean, morning dew is condensed ocean water. Father also had the idea that perhaps it's not the salt that's so important - maybe salt only helps to extract ORMUS from the dew.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Demon face
Very low-level dreams. It was foggy again today morning. Felt a bit down. Tried to meditate before and between the dreams but couldn't do it no matter what. Found a cold spot in the bed .. thought there was an air draft through the mattress.
Tried to overcome the gloomy mood in the morning, while making mistakes on the way. Due to some peculiar lighting and shadow effects, I saw the image of a demon on my blanket. Somehow the demon reminded me of me, it was as if I was looking down at my own face in the blanket. Focused on it until it no longer seemed scary. Felt sorry for it because people don't see it for what it actually is.
During the lectures I remembered that the central channel for me is not at the spine but behind it. The state of mind corresponded to an image of the old farmhouse on Saaremaa. In the farmhouse there was a stove. Linked the stove with my navel chakra (behind my back) and lit the fire in there. Gradually the fog rained down and sun came out.
When I focused on the winds (audible) in the central channel, it had a calming and enlightening effect.
Tried to overcome the gloomy mood in the morning, while making mistakes on the way. Due to some peculiar lighting and shadow effects, I saw the image of a demon on my blanket. Somehow the demon reminded me of me, it was as if I was looking down at my own face in the blanket. Focused on it until it no longer seemed scary. Felt sorry for it because people don't see it for what it actually is.
During the lectures I remembered that the central channel for me is not at the spine but behind it. The state of mind corresponded to an image of the old farmhouse on Saaremaa. In the farmhouse there was a stove. Linked the stove with my navel chakra (behind my back) and lit the fire in there. Gradually the fog rained down and sun came out.
When I focused on the winds (audible) in the central channel, it had a calming and enlightening effect.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Spiritual jail
Very hot weather. It must've been over 30 *C in the classroom today.
Noticed that one of the university personnel had a crown cone that was exceptionally well visible. Haven't seen anyone with that dense psi field before.
Before Sunday there were a lot of flashbacks and a couple of events where I felt wisdom in what I said. However, usually I was yapping rubbish, just like the others.
On Sunday I had started to focus on the wind element at the throat chakra. Thought that I should pay attention to arrogance, which usually accompanies the throat chakra for me - eventually forgot. In the evening I became anxious when a colleague said that the world would be a lot better if his old schoolmates were run over with a car. Asked if he really desired such a thing. For a moment I wished that he would get the experience and see for himself if he really wants that or not. Tried to explain the power of thought to him .. without much success. In his eyes I'm all weird.
The first dream that night was very serious. I was in a car, the colleague was driving. *Bump* and the car fell into the river somewhere. The being who had designed the dream, came to us and said: "You're all gonna die." As he said that, suddenly the probability space (tangible) became very limited. There was no way to change anything. At the same time, we experienced the consequences of what just happened. It was as if put behind bars physically, mentally and spiritually (imagine it eternally - that's what the dream master meant by death). The experience of being unable to do anything made me cry. The dream master then let me out and brought my attention to the golden light shining from my crown. Woke up and undid any ill thoughts.
Have been feeling bad about Sunday ever since. Dreams with heavy symbolism again. When I looked at that colleague's shirt today, for some reason it occurred to me that was my shirt (when in fact it's not, and I have never had a shirt like that). Thus, I suspect some sort of a forgotten body switch or OBE.
Have been changing the state of mind to overcome my issues. During the lectures today I realized a few things and experienced the mystical feeling that used to drive me to pk practice and meditation.
Noticed that one of the university personnel had a crown cone that was exceptionally well visible. Haven't seen anyone with that dense psi field before.
Before Sunday there were a lot of flashbacks and a couple of events where I felt wisdom in what I said. However, usually I was yapping rubbish, just like the others.
On Sunday I had started to focus on the wind element at the throat chakra. Thought that I should pay attention to arrogance, which usually accompanies the throat chakra for me - eventually forgot. In the evening I became anxious when a colleague said that the world would be a lot better if his old schoolmates were run over with a car. Asked if he really desired such a thing. For a moment I wished that he would get the experience and see for himself if he really wants that or not. Tried to explain the power of thought to him .. without much success. In his eyes I'm all weird.
The first dream that night was very serious. I was in a car, the colleague was driving. *Bump* and the car fell into the river somewhere. The being who had designed the dream, came to us and said: "You're all gonna die." As he said that, suddenly the probability space (tangible) became very limited. There was no way to change anything. At the same time, we experienced the consequences of what just happened. It was as if put behind bars physically, mentally and spiritually (imagine it eternally - that's what the dream master meant by death). The experience of being unable to do anything made me cry. The dream master then let me out and brought my attention to the golden light shining from my crown. Woke up and undid any ill thoughts.
Have been feeling bad about Sunday ever since. Dreams with heavy symbolism again. When I looked at that colleague's shirt today, for some reason it occurred to me that was my shirt (when in fact it's not, and I have never had a shirt like that). Thus, I suspect some sort of a forgotten body switch or OBE.
Have been changing the state of mind to overcome my issues. During the lectures today I realized a few things and experienced the mystical feeling that used to drive me to pk practice and meditation.
Friday, September 5, 2014
Sunny
A bit easier lectures today. Visualized myself in white and a fire from the navel chakra. This would symbolize the purifying nature of the internal fire. Put a lot of effort in it and maintained the visualization for hours during the lectures. This worked. Sun came out and most of the day was warm and sunny. This answered a question that has puzzled me for years: "Why does one have to put forth effort in order to achieve something that they already have?" The answer is "strong habits". If you put effort in shielding yourself from something, then you'll most likely put a lot of effort into undoing the shield later. Now, if you have shields / constructs / habits from prior lifetimes which you can't remember, then it may take a lot of effort to even notice them. Chances are that you're so used to them being there that you won't notice them unless you pay attention to them. However, in order to pay attention, you would already have to know that there's something there that needs attention.
The school building slightly reminds me of Hogwarts. Very interesting design, full of "secret" rooms with lectures and practicals in them. Even the dorms are like a 2-storeyed labyrinth that spans 4 or 5 storeys.
Probably I've misinterpreted the response to my pessimism about tummo. It won't happen on its own. I have to dedicate to it. Previously I have over-compensated with my visualizations, ignorant about the damage that I might cause to myself. This time I scaled the effect down to the safe levels and then slowly geared up the levels.
Thanks to the multi-layered nature of the reality, I've learned quite a bit about the mystic stuff here.
The school building slightly reminds me of Hogwarts. Very interesting design, full of "secret" rooms with lectures and practicals in them. Even the dorms are like a 2-storeyed labyrinth that spans 4 or 5 storeys.
Probably I've misinterpreted the response to my pessimism about tummo. It won't happen on its own. I have to dedicate to it. Previously I have over-compensated with my visualizations, ignorant about the damage that I might cause to myself. This time I scaled the effect down to the safe levels and then slowly geared up the levels.
Thanks to the multi-layered nature of the reality, I've learned quite a bit about the mystic stuff here.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Rainy
It has been rainy for almost a week already. People are commenting: "This isn't Italy." Well, there was an exception - yesterday it was foggy, so that people commented: "This sort of weather is supposed to be in Ireland, not Italy."
During a couple of days I've tried to manifest sunshine. Only got sunshine for a few minutes .. or up to 30 minutes but only temporarily. Couldn't focus for too long, because the lectures have been pretty tough.
Occasionally I've felt pretty tired during the lectures, so I've explored the half-sleep stages a little bit more. I've focused on the subtle discontinuities in the process, to force myself awake and attentive. Then suddenly the sleepiness is broken. Thus, it's only a habitual state of mind. The same goes for the feeling of not being able to concentrate and understand what the lecturer is speaking about.
Empathy seems to be doing ok. Occasionally found myself entrained to the lecturers. However, I seem to be stuck on lower layers (haven't become entrained to their minds).
Last night I noticed that subconsciously I'm missing home. Found myself at the summerhouse, worrying about how I'll get back to Italy for the morning lectures.
Edit: According to the "Initiation into Hermetics", my water element is out of balance. Well, what should I do?
 |
| Ireland weather in Italy. |
During a couple of days I've tried to manifest sunshine. Only got sunshine for a few minutes .. or up to 30 minutes but only temporarily. Couldn't focus for too long, because the lectures have been pretty tough.
Occasionally I've felt pretty tired during the lectures, so I've explored the half-sleep stages a little bit more. I've focused on the subtle discontinuities in the process, to force myself awake and attentive. Then suddenly the sleepiness is broken. Thus, it's only a habitual state of mind. The same goes for the feeling of not being able to concentrate and understand what the lecturer is speaking about.
Empathy seems to be doing ok. Occasionally found myself entrained to the lecturers. However, I seem to be stuck on lower layers (haven't become entrained to their minds).
Last night I noticed that subconsciously I'm missing home. Found myself at the summerhouse, worrying about how I'll get back to Italy for the morning lectures.
Edit: According to the "Initiation into Hermetics", my water element is out of balance. Well, what should I do?
Monday, September 1, 2014
Italy
In Tallinn, I happened to glance at an extension cord that was next to my bed. One of the ground contacts was curled in a strange way. Couldn't figure out how it could've become like that. It left me puzzled.
Arrived at Bertinoro. Paul checked the weather forecast - 16 *C and rainy here in Italy, 16 *C and sunny in Estonia. Sigh .. brought Estonian summer with me again.
In Italy there also seems to be some sort of an upward flow of psi, much like in Spain. I guess that's why the environment feels more healthy here as well.
 |
| The weird contact |
Arrived at Bertinoro. Paul checked the weather forecast - 16 *C and rainy here in Italy, 16 *C and sunny in Estonia. Sigh .. brought Estonian summer with me again.
 |
| Estonian summer in Italy |
In Italy there also seems to be some sort of an upward flow of psi, much like in Spain. I guess that's why the environment feels more healthy here as well.
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