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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Friday, September 27, 2013

Strings of subtle energies

Remembered more from last night.

At some point I focused on a point at the tip of the nose. A moment later, I became aware of long thin strings carrying some sort of subtle energy throughout the body. Although they looked as thin as a piece of hair, they were amazingly strong.

Also, somewhere in the dream I sat at a table. There were 4 people around the table, none of whom I knew. The man in front of me recognized my interest in psychokinesis. He said: "Look," took out a coin and a metal plate. He levitated both of them about 4 mm above the surface of the table and accelerated the coin so that it shot off the table and flew under another table to my left. I was amazed, but implied that I can't do that.

Should perhaps practice pk again some day.

Machine oil ant

A couple of days ago I dreamed of ants. One of them had formed some sort of symbiosis with a small bottle of machine oil. It had grown larger and it was interested in becoming a parasite of mine. I just carefully stepped away, while still observing the ant and its life. It had become dependant on this oil, which yielded power but made it anxious without it realizing this by itself. Eventually it morphed into something like a moth, but it couldn't fly because of the heavy bottle of oil. Eventually I just grew bored of it, closed the door and continued with something more exciting.

Have been focusing on the crown again recently .. still seems a little easier for me to do than focusing on breath.

A couple of days ago, there was a dream, which might have easily become a tantra fail. Just before this happened, I quickly moved focus into the crown and made it as sharp as I could, which quickly brought the energy up the spine.

Thanks to some focus, the dark veil has also lifted a little. Some of it is still there, but I can see the light more easily again.

Last night I fell asleep, semi-focused on the crown. A moment of becoming aware that I had fallen asleep. Opened the eyes to check the clock projection on the ceiling. Realized I had somewhat lost my identity. I just was, glancing at the clock.

Dreams were rather vivid as well. Uh .. deja vu. Went to Finland to meet Mom there and go somewhere else. Met a lot of nice people on the way. Saw an old teammate or colleague, greeted him. He asked me: "You're back?" Me: "Yeah" (+ a lot of info that was not conveyed in words).

Arrived at someplace .. perhaps back at the airport, where I still had to wait for Mom to arrive. A friend noticed that I had a new laptop, he asked what happened and whether the old one was still working. Somehow implied that I got it without having to pay for it myself much (work laptop). The old one was still working, but the screen backlight was malfunct and case was crumbling.

Checked some exciting info, which used to be merely conspiracy theories but was now public. A whole lot of data on military experiments in electromagnetism, quantum mechanics. Mom arrived and we were about to go .. wrapped things up and woke up.

Today I found a few nice web pages for the quantum computers and quantum cryptography course. A lot of questions to the good old professor. Saw a colleague after a while .. he had been ill. He had a new laptop, which looked strikingly similar to the one in the dream. Asked him what had happened to his previous one and whether it was still working or not (a 7 years old classic). He described all the problems he had with the previous one (different from those in the dream - which were the problems with my current laptop). Shortly after, he rushed away.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tag game of consciousness

One of the dreams featured an interesting game. Kind of like the game of tag, but with group consciousness. We would move around and tag each other by exchanging consciousness (similar to switching bodies, but not quite).

Really good music for meditation, though, causes me to feel vertigo:


Uncle's brain tumor has suddenly started spreading .. they don't expect more than half a year.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Silence

Oh boy, haven't felt like posting for a while. Still work, school, conspiracy theories, alternative technology, enlightenment related practises. I've just lost the motivation to post again..

Focus on the subtle energies causes objects snapping as well as flashes of light. A few days ago I had eaten late and stomach felt at unease. In the mind's eye, everything looked dark and cloudy. Observed it intently, while suddenly a flash of light appeared and a bright orb rocketed out of the stomach, flew over my head towards the other room. The dark and cloudy atmosphere was gone.

I've been glancing at the light of the infinitude again every now and then.

A couple of days ago, I woke up and did just that .. sky cleared up and a helicopter appeared. It circled around the building for about 2 or 3 times. Took my camera, went out on the balcony and started recording it (with extra crappy quality). It then descended rather low above the neighbouring buildings, made a 180 degree turn and flew away, shadowed by the buildings. Helicopters and planes are pretty casual here, since there's an aviation school nearby. However, I don't think I've seen one circle around the building that often. Nah, might be some geologists mapping the town or something.

Later I felt a bit unnerved for some reason (too little sleep as well). Laid down to take a nap. A sharp sensation of having something injected into the chin. As it propagated throughout the body, everything started feeling soft and calm. I wonder if incidents like this have caused the paranoia and mind-fights against syringes and other sharp objects. Usually I visualize the sharp objects curl away into spirals and then dissolve into pure energy.

Today morning, somehow the wind did not seem natural. Not sure what that's about.

Stared at the sky and clouds last night, stared at the trees swaying today, saw the light and peace again for short intervals of time. The bindu point on top of the head ached a little.

Practising concentration each night before sleep again. I've found it difficult to maintain focus .. keep falling asleep. Well, it was this way several years ago as also.

A few days ago I also rediscovered the perfect mixture (a balance of energies within the self). This time it did not seem to be worth as much as it was the previous time I had found it.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

That's no star

Looked out of the balcony window last night. A star?
Put on my glasses. That's no star. Dad: No, a star it definitely is not.

I've been taught that some stars pulsate, change their color and stuff. However, this one was not circular. It was a short horizontal stripe, on which, red, white and blue dots pulsated. Occasionally, these dots or point-sources became rather bright. The thing seemed stationary and moved along with the stars, as Earth rotated.

Around this horizontal stripe, there was a constellation of dim dots, which every now and then became brighter (5 or 6 dots all at once).

Suspected that there were 2 of these things. The other one might have been a star + some fancy imagination there. Cause I think I saw an object fly towards this short stripe. This object did not have the blinking lights that planes usually have. Also, I think I saw the dot and the short stripe emit short rays occasionally (faded not far from the objects).

Couldn't find my Galileoscope, though.

Figured that these things might have been there for a long time already, I guess I've seen them there before, thinking it's strange for a star to shine alternating colors that bright. So, chances are there's still months, if not years for me to find that Galileoscope or to buy a telescope to look at them. Went to bed. Rough night.

Have had friends claim they saw UFOs and stuff. I've always said "well .. I don't think I've seen any yet". Would be ironic if it turned out that I've been seeing them for years now, without even realizing.

Filling the gaps

Those Billy Meier tapes are really good. Especially the tapes on spiritual development and meditation filled in a lot of gaps in my understanding of things. I've experimented a lot with various perspectives on things .. several of which have caused stagnation instead of favoring development.

Here's what I used to think and how I understood the content of the tapes:
  1. Development is circular and works in cycles, thus leading nowhere.
    > It's not. With each cycle, the development is brought to a whole new level. Nothing is lost on the way. Each new universe benefits from the wisdom that other universes have developed. It's similar to how Naruto's clones work. All clones look the same, but each one gains their own experience and wisdom, contributing to the experience and wisdom of Naruto. The next clones would already have the knowledge gained with the help of the previous ones.
  2. Assuming the previous point, spiritual development should be effortless, since we're already perfect.
    > Everything is perfect as it is, but it will always evolve further. It's up to us, how we do that. There really is no spiritual development when there is no effort to evolve further.
  3. There must be at least some truth to Christian God. So, if one lives a miserable life, it must balance itself out eventually.
    > We are responsible for creating a balance in our lives. If we let someone do something bad to us, then we are to blame. There are higher beings out there, who may or may not take action .. but this really isn't their responsibility to constantly take care of us. In other words, there is no baby-sitting.
  4. What's the point of meditation?
    > The point is to let the spirit observe as much as possible so that it grows and gains wisdom.
  5. Why is psychokinesis usually not considered a path of enlightenment?
    > If we try to affect what we observe, then we're altering the info - which means we get the tampered, not original info.
  6. How could meditation ever be harmful?
    > The more we become in touch with the spirit, the more our thoughts, emotions, acts also affect the spirit. All connections are two-fold and bidirectional.
  7. What is this yellow and / or white light that tends to become visible after meditation?
    > So-called Sohar light from the spiritual plane.
  8. A lot more..

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Dreamramblings

Practised concentration by focusing on the breath before sleep. At some point, I was awoken by someone pinching the little toe of my right foot (non-physical). Argh, oh, right .. ::draws focus back onto breathing::.

Suddenly sensed how prana spiralled through the right half of the head. Got to draw that sometime.

Had a presentation today, witnessed an orb. Later someone asked me what I had been looking at. "Uh .. air, I guess". Someone else: "Btw, I love to stare into the void, trying to spot high energy particles." ::me scratches head::

A lot of awkward dreams recently. All of them had a gloomy-cloudy feel to them.

At the summerhouse. Aunt had left a neatly laid table with potatoes, pieces of cake outside. On first glance, it looked delicious. Asked aunt about it. It was not for me, it was for the Creation. Looked at it again saw that it was rotting, covered in green moss and bugs. Experienced the same thing twice.

Indoors, aunt's son was unhappy, because he could not recognize his mother. She was different. For some reason, aunt was away for a day or two, so I had somehow brought her forward from the past. She was younger but there was a lot of wisdom in her, which I had not recognized earlier.

Cows were in an electrified fence. Attempted to walk past them, but happened to glance at one of them. They moved around and tipped the fence posts. Apparently, the fence was not electrified and the fence posts barely even stayed in place .. so I couldn't undo it, couldn't put it back. Thought: "Oh my, aunt's gonna be angry with me." Aunt came there to help calm the cows. She didn't have anything but love and peace in her mind, not a single thought or emotion.

Back at home, I saw dad and had a vision of a guy in India digging a square hole in the ground with level floor. In there, he made a hollow square of hay bales, on which he slept. Understood the symbol. Then, gradually, the hay bales transformed into blocks of stone or glass wool with holes for windows and doors. Next, I saw dad sewing the wool in the living room, with the dust piling up on the door glass. I found the dust environment a bit unhealthy.

There were two of us someplace unknown. It was some sort of a store, or, two stores .. one at the back of another. We were really late and it was closed already. The salesperson appeared, really worn out and tired. I guess the other person who was with me, bought something from one of the stores, while out of curiosity, I wandered into the second store behind the corner. The selection looked a bit better there, but otherwise there was no difference. The same salesperson came there and bought something from there. On my leave, I found myself in a corridor packed with a lot of people. A man from India looked at me and wanted to know where I was headed and what I was looking for. He expressed that my internal heat was giving him burns. I was unaware of where I was headed or what I was looking for. I just said "I'm sorry" and left, in order not to burn him any longer.

Had produced a lot of sweat while asleep.

Btw, while coming home today, I found delicious-looking apples at the roadside. Took one, but before biting it, I decided to put it back again. These probably were not for me.

Recently, dad has started to think seriously about Margaret's suggestion for him to visit India sometime .. to see the world and people.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Random bits and pieces

I sometimes find it strange that usually not much happens when I produce a thought. However, when I say it out or act on it, then teachings start pouring in. Within minutes, I'm shown how immature it was for me to say that or act that way. Also, this usually comes from whoever is around me, without them actually realizing it themselves. Sometimes it's just images, realizations that pop into mind.

Need to meditate a lot more. Sometimes it happens that there's a rather strong stream of psi through the central channel, up to the head. When I directed the stream onto the pineal gland yesterday, the front half of it hurt.. calcified?


Have been listening to a lot of Billy Meier's stories. For some reason, about 2/3 of them no longer play on u-tube. Torrent helps :)

Interesting that his photo of the Universe barrier is claimed to have appeared on the front pages of several magazines. However, this photo is nowhere to be found on the web. There is just one page, which mentions it and provides links to pages of a painting that had appeared 1-2 years later. Moreover, none of the links work.
http://www25.brinkster.com/chancede/barrier.html


Found several queer blogs recently. A lot of what's there seems to be far fetched and some of it doesn't look too credible. But even if it's fiction, it's rather thought-provoking and encourages people to seek their own truth, rather than buying in what the mainstream media says .. and that's always a good thing.
http://formerwhitehat.wordpress.com
http://theidylwildgroup.wordpress.com/
http://rusirius1111.wordpress.com/
http://anyaisachannel.blogspot.com/

Friday, September 6, 2013

Cough

A humble cough .. car alarm goes off. The car was 15 - 20 meters from me.

Sometimes I've checked whether or not something resonates with me. I would generate an environment in the mind to see if the mind becomes hooked to it, causing a thought to form. It's almost as if poking myself and realizing that this me there is numb to it .. doesn't even react.

While walking home, the weather looked sunny but there was a rather strong wind against me .. it was cold. Around me there was no twitch from the trees. Well, I've seen that before. Just walked without thoughts, then asked myself in the mind: "Why am I feeling cold?" Then suddenly, the wind stopped, it became warm and eventually I even had to peel some clothes off.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Me cry rivers


Took a nap. In the mind's eye, something portal-like appeared above the body, shining on it. It lead somewhere into the astral. Widened it a little and tried to maintain it for as long as I could. It was warm, blissful and helped to heal the old scars of pneumonia.

It's pretty common to hear all sorts of voices at the hypnagogic stages. However, one of them stood out. Someone asked me if I wanted something to eat. I implied: "No, thank you," without actually saying anything. It was the way they asked this, which made it special.

Remembered that in the evening, when I found I had barely eaten anything today and went into the kitchen to make something to eat.

Some of you may know the feeling when Mom has prepared delicious dinner. She would ask children to dinner. She would love the children no matter what they thought about themselves, no matter what they did. No prejudices, no second thoughts, nothing, just .. pure love. Well, grandma is like that. One week of summer holiday was a bit too short to visit her. Just one week of holiday (out of town, somewhere in the nature) for several years really packs a punch, though.

Anyway, remembered the feeling from that daily nap and when I noticed the contrast of how that someone saw me and how I saw myself, tears started flying.

I always think I'm a macho with superpowers or something, who wouldn't have to eat, sleep, who would never become ill, who would only die at will, who doesn't need anyone to care about him nor anyone to love him, who can live alone for several lifetimes, who would always be perfect and never make any mistakes... this list could go on for eternity. Since I haven't been able to fulfill most of these in the list, I haven't been exactly proud of myself. I have even become blind to everything else.

So, there's the contrast. Someone offering something for me to eat out of sincere love. I see myself as a scum not worthy of food. I thought I had already overcome this issue .. so, in a way, this would only prove that I'm even less use to myself than I used to think. This is the problem that I was born with, the problem that I've tried to overcome in so many ways, all of which have been temporary so far. I even know the solution, but haven't been able to do it yet. I need to develop unconditional love towards myself. The problem is that's an effect, not a cause. Resolving the effect only has a temporary effect. Somewhere within there's the cause, which I'll have to find and sort out.

From one of those discussions within the mind:
- Someone: Live your own teachings

Upside-down room

I don't think that's psi-vamps. That's pneumonia, which is apparently still there, hiding. The fruit of several years of tension in the chest area.

I guess I realized the connection between the body-shape meditation and spreading the energy evenly throughout the body. A few days ago I did that a bit sloppy.

When I would become tensed up, I should not fight it. I should not try to be calm or whatever. Instead, the whole body should tense up .. it should resonate throughout the body. Otherwise it would cause contrasts and tension. One does not make themselves calm, one either is calm or is not. It's an effect, not a cause and thus, it's not worth the effort. Somehow this is a point that I've realized several times each year and forgotten again in the meantime. Doesn't matter .. I improve =)

A very simple realization, but occurred to me fairly recently.
One would see things for what they really are, only when they love things the way they are.

Had an idea for healing, which I haven't tried yet. The idea is to personify a problem (to convert it into a thought-form) and then discuss the matter with them.

Stumbled on something amazing at the central square today. There were containers of art, one of which was an upside down room, fully furnished. It was a pretty surreal feeling in there. Clothes hanged upside down, there was a desk with a lot of papers on it and a match-stick building .. even a coffee cup 3/4 full of coffee (upside down, of course). Also, all the photos and paintings on the walls had water reflections so that they "looked upright", but actually it was just the reflection that was upright. Noticed that the floor did not feel as a floor in there. Well, it was covered in sand, but still there was a really awkward feeling about it. As if the floor or something underneath it was moving all the time. Hmm .. the container was right next to the spot of a medieval well. Anyway, it was an inspiring experience to spend a few minutes in an upside-down room.

Monday, September 2, 2013

900 - something's not right

Felt good, warm and a little floaty of psi.

Had a Skype chat with Mom and then a colleague. She proposed to organize a visit to Spain for me next summer. Suddenly, the body started feeling hungry, tired, started producing cold sweat, twitching and shivering all over. Psi gone. Exactly like I've experienced before, when discussing stuff with some specific sort of people. Psi-vamps? What the heck..

It has been a while since the last time this happened. Though, this time the contrast was so clear.

Messed dreams

Listened to some of the awesome stories of Billy Meier last night. Found his experience in hyperspace very similar to my closest experience to Samadhi so far.

Vivid but very strange dreams. Although I knew it was a dream, I had a lot of trouble waking up at will .. somehow it took so much more effort and the process of waking up was incredibly slow (as if farther away than I thought I was).

Although I had something that seemed similar to the physical body, I moved around without physical limitations.

While in the kitchen, I noticed that the apartment block building at the left (towards South) had some weird expansion towards the West. This hanged over the asphalt road. It looked fake. Thought "What the heck" and tipped the building over with pk. With its weight out of balance, it crashed down onto the street. Startled that it manifested right away, I attempted to undo it again. This took a lot more effort.

Had been busy with something in my room, so I returned there. From the balcony window I noticed something awkward about one apartment on a building to the North-East. There had been an explosion or a fire or something. It was on the top floor, the closest balcony to our building. Ah, remembered using a laser thermometer to measure the temperature in there (got 600 *C). There were a couple of flags on that balcony and indoors, the walls were all covered in slightly scorched map. Paint had come off from wherever there were cities or towns on the map. For some reason, it felt like a place, where some sort of spies would keep an eye on people or something.

Too much conspiracy theories, I guess .. :)

Had some other dreams as well, which were so abstract that the physical mind couldn't grasp it.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Non-literal reading

It was about a week ago while I was taking a shower that I sought for a shower gel. There was a big bottle, with a shape that has usually contained shampoo. At first glance, I thought it was the same bottle, refilled with shower gel. Used that. Then I checked the label and read "shower gel or something", which confirmed the hunch. Several days later dad mentioned that he had refilled the bottle with shower gel. I said "Thanks, noticed already". Yesterday, when I read the label on that bottle filled with shower gel, it said "some cleansing gel for hair of sorts". I wonder where I had read that it was shower gel. In other words, from the label on bottle, I read what was in the bottle, not what was actually written on the label.