Digestion is no black box

Today I realized something about digestion when I smelled onion in my blood. The onion that I had fried and eaten yesterday. Digestion no longer seems like a magical black box where one can stuff anything in and get energy out. Although I've noticed this before, I never really paid much attention to it. Goes to show just how little kindergarten wisdom I've acquired through all these years.

Grandpa

Random people offering me money for supervising random people. One particular case I had completely forgotten because I had offered supervision so many years ago. The student was so independent that I only saw her twice over the span of a few years.

Grandpa

Met grandpa in dreams. Based on the symbolism, I would guess he's going to reincarnate soon. Some of the symbols:

• I was chilling working around with a laptop when he showed up. He came up to me, looked at what I was doing and sat quietly.
• I commended on how youthful and full of energy he was, and offered to go for a walk.
• Without a word, we walked down the road, past some old houses and buildings. I found it difficult to keep up with him (he walked slow and calm).
• He never spoke but his mind moulded the surroundings, which spoke a volume.
• At some moment, I witnessed a man (1st person for some odd reason) and a woman getting a child.
• Anyway, we continue walking and at some point we get to an old feedwater heater building. While it was still working, the building was gradually being taken down.
• I stopped to look at the building more closely, as probably did grandpa. It had a military vibe to it, but civilian as well .. a military museum?
• I looked back at grandpa who was walking in the middle of the road. I stepped off the road because a train of military SUVs were approaching from behind him. The train of SUVs split in two around him, and came down the road.
• The first SUV on my side of the road also followed me off the road, and almost ran me over. That was not the goal / idea, though. Behind the wheel there was a young man who looked at me with great astonishment. The reason why the SUV followed me was for me to see the man's face and to remember it.
• No longer saw grandpa after seeing that man.

Rationally this makes sense because the military vibe often lingered around grandpa, due to his childhood trauma. It would make sense for him to reincarnate as an officer or something alike.

We'll see. I wished him the best.

Cookie overflow?

Another test campaign. Spent most of Saturday in the lab. Ate junk food.

In the evening I meditated on the subtle vibrations throughout the body while relaxing. This caused me to feel vertigo and a bit nauseous.

Woke at 1 AM, performed some tests. Felt nauseous and woke up again at 3 AM. Couldn't sleep anymore.

Due to the tests and some TeamViewer bugs, I was forced to use Windows. So I installed a couple of games and started playing. During gaming it doesn't matter much whether the stomach is a bit upset or not. Finished "The Turing Test".

Waves of heat

Today I've had waves of heat propagating up the body whenever I relax.

Minor euphoria

Woke from a wet dream today morning. Not very good, considering the fact that about a month earlier I had had a dry dream with the jing being passed up the spine.

Something was different, though. My body felt oddly relaxed and at peace. Even though the dreams seemed quite realistic, I flew around a lot.

Obviously a sequel to my attempts to levitate and relax yesterday. While going up and down the stairs at work, focused on the feeling of weightlessness. Very little success, except for one step. That step took at least 2x longer than any other, I think. After work I tried to let go of everything, while gently focusing on the internal flame.

Attended the thesis defense of one of my students today morning. Somehow his defense caused me to overflow with happiness that lasted for hours. "Poofed away" to work.

While waiting for the bus, I stood under a tree that kept patting the crown. Occasionally tried focusing on the structured space between the leaves on top of the head.

Had promised to work on an issue but other stuff kept piling up so that I couldn't even get to this issue. While being slightly frustrated, a rolled up poster fell down right next to me. I need to become better at context switching between tasks. Developing fast detachment and sharp concentration (just a split-second to become absorbed in one task, then just a split-second to become absorbed in another, while being in the middle of a noisy crowd) would be of serious help. Work is just overwhelmingly depressive otherwise. Ah, a concentration duration of 13+ hours would be helpful as well.

Due to walking around a lot on this warm day, I had developed quite an odour. Tried my best at focusing on lilac. Actually did feel the faint smell of lilac every now and then, but the results were not that good. At least, not as good as on a random day a few weeks ago when I didn't even try - just everything smelled of flowers no matter what I did or where I went.

Probably thanks to the wet dream clearing up clogged psi, concentration actually helps digestion again.

Introversion

Spent the weekend in Latvia. Some kind of a supervisors and trainees event. 8-hour bus drives. Finished the Buddha's biography. Showed the book to some colleagues, students. One colleague considered it too religious (I found it strange). I showed the rear cover to the student from India because the book had been written by a buddhist community located close to his home.

During the event, each of us had to introduce ourselves and say something personal.

One student said he likes to practice mindfulness meditation. Asked him about it later. He said he uses it for very specific reasons: stress relief, improving productivity, increased happiness, etc. He said "advanced meditators can induce self-hallucinations". I said "advanced meditators can induce hallucinations that become a collective reality". Then discussed some OBE and pk stuff. He left and did not talk to me again. Yup, I came across as a looney but whatever.

Another student said he likes gaming. Asked him about it later. He said he's planning to develop games much like what his brother is doing. He also had a strong interest in manga and anime. I listed the titles of some of my favourite anime, most in japanese. We were both amazed at my memory. It later turned out that almost everyone in his family had tried dowsing. He was quite open-minded about pk stuff.

I said I didn't know what personal I could say about myself. A colleague suggested "conspiracies", so I just highlighted that. On our way back, I found a great conspiracy (thanks to reddit, ofc): http://sentinelkennels.com/Research_Article_V41.html. Basically, back in 2000 John Cadman performed the fluid dynamics and acoustics analysis of the Giza pyramids. Based on some old photos and measurements, he made a replica and it worked as a hydraulic ram pump. However, being a pump was merely the secondary function. It also extracted hydrogen and produced electricity. Amazing. When I saw the underground chamber with the fins, angled holes and so on, I caught a glimpse of what it might've felt like to design and build such things.

Got engaged in a discussion about QLED displays, only to realize that my colleagues (physics PhD students) haven't even heard of quantum dots, and find them sci-fi-like. Also discussed metamaterials with a material physicist (one of the trainees) and found that he had also missed out on most of the wonders of material science.

Tried to share the big find (Giza pump) with others on the bus. However, I doubt anyone has even clicked on the link in the past few days. While on the way back home, I re-realized the encouraging effects of my old mantra: "I'm alone in this universe, and except for myself, there is nobody to understand me." This relieved a lot of tension again, and encouraged me to keep on going. Weather became cold and rainy, though (opposed to the record-hot May).

Was asked to a corporate sauna yesterday. Said "probably not" at first, as I saw it as another opportunity to practice the mantra and humility. The place was awesome, actually. Great respect for the nature there .. very humbling. Suggested a way to approach the task of coming up with a long-term vision for the company. It could be seen in their eyes that they opened up to a whole new way of looking at things. Discussed some future trends as well.

Pre-delivery meeting with the client and prime of a project. The project where I've been alone for about a year. It was idle for some time, now need to work on it again. But also need to work for the company, as well as supervise students .. and this year I need to find time for a vacation. That sweet mantra would allow to improve concentration as well as get through these tough times.