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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Thursday, October 29, 2015

Bird-moon omen of freedom and power

Left early from an exciting meeting at work, to catch a bus for a lecture in the town. Let myself fall asleep in the bus. As I left the bus, my mind cleared out (became thoughtless) and I managed to walk for almost 15 minutes in the town, without thoughts. Cool. After that, I noticed the familiar tendency of people sitting next to me at the lecture, or standing next to me in the bus.

While on my way home yesterday evening, the Moon caught my attention. There were two jet trails crossing over the Moon. The trails glowed as they were lit by moonlight. What made the sight extraordinary .. one of the trails was curved around the Moon and overall the image reminded me of a bird with the Moon on its back. Wind shifted the trails a bit more, so it looked more and more bird-like. Thought I should take a photo, but couldn't get a good perspective (buildings or trees in the way). Thought I would take a photo at home, from the balcony, but the image was already gone once I arrived home.

While on my way home today evening, I saw girls taking photos of Moon shining through a thin pattern of clouds .. in the background of the central square in the old town.

Last night's dreams weren't special. I guess I didn't relax enough before falling asleep. Anyway, a central theme was (extra-)carefully going down spiral stairs and exploring all the floors of a huge school / university building with white walls. On the first floor, a lady was selling sweets. I stopped there to choose something. Outside the building, there were parking slots with charging capabilities, for super-cars. Someone, who left the building with me, asked if I would park mine there or something. Didn't have a super-car and found having one ridiculous. However, the technology and design of the parking slot + charging system looked awesome. As if taken from a science fiction block-buster or somesuch.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Pretzel on the oven

Sometimes I find the limitations of information throughput a bit frustrating. Can't get enough data per second with reading. Also, a few hours of info-packed reading gets me tired. Low data rate is one of the key reasons why I rarely watch TV. I prefer browsing the web, reading texts and watching still images because that's way faster.



Had a nice dream last night. There was a master, with whom we walked through my internal realm towards the old barn building.

We went past huge trees. I pointed at a birch with a trunk of perhaps 4 m in diameter and 20 m in height. I said I would really want to climb a tree like that. That the tree was perfect, except for the fact that its top was cut (I didn't like that). There was also an Ash tree (I think), which would've been ideal if it wasn't growing at an angle (didn't like that either).

Anyway, we reached the old barn building. The building had two floors but the second floor symbolized multiple layers on top of each other. So, I could sort of pick any layer that I would be at, while remaining on the second floor. At the centre of the floor, there was a rectangular hole and down in there, there was an old oven. Next to the hole, there was a pile of dirt / dust. The master climbed on top of the roof. He told me to take the dirt and cover the hole with it. I hesitated. Also, I found it a bit too dark in there. So, I started walking around, imagining light switches (none actually existed) and flipping them. Master asked: "Are you going to do it or not?" So, I went back and found that it was no longer dark. Covered the hole. Master told me to pay attention to the temperature changes in the dirt cover, in order to find energy leaks. I wasn't feeling too confident in my ability to find the leaks. Missed temperature changes, as the dirt cover bulged up and was blown away (small explosion). However, I did notice that in top view, the top left corner gave away first .. so I assumed there's a leak there.

Somehow some sort of a sweet pretzel appeared on the oven. The oven was so hot that oil and sugar on the plate around the pretzel were boiling rapidly. While adjusting something in/on the oven, I took the pretzel off and put it back several times. I think the pretzel served as an indicator of some sort. I think the master was no longer there .. now sister had appeared out of nowhere. Anyway, after some time, I considered the pretzel fully baked (perhaps even slightly over-baked). I put it away from the oven and went outside, to signal the others (aunts). They were on the fields, picking berries for something to put on the pretzel or something.

This classifies as a typical dream of the internal flame. Though, in the waking life, I'm embarrassed about my lack of attention, concentration when there was a spiritual high priority task at hand.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Crown of detachment

Multiple resets of the celibacy counter last night.

Also, recently I've been having the familiar tickling as well as some pain on top of the scalp surface. There have also been pain releases in other parts of the body (shoulders, lungs, feet, stomach, etc.). The crown has made a popping sound for a few times. The cloud of internal heat is sometimes there, sometimes it's not. Sometimes heat jets out of the body.

Recently I've been focusing on detachment. Some of the daily problems were difficult to let go .. kept coming back.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Star control spray?

Rather shallow dreams. However, there were a few interesting encounters.

It happened three times in total (at random times) that an entity of some sort penetrated my dream bubble and flew through the top left corner of the corridor. The entity looked white (sometimes maybe golden, too). In the dreams I was quite puzzled as to what could be distorting the realm in such a way without interacting with it (passed through the walls, and no-one else saw it). Yay, I think this is indicative of dreams disintegrating.

In one of the dreams, I was at a lecture or something. The lecturer asked me a question, wondering if I was able to figure it out or not. I thought for long and couldn't figure it out. All the others got really bored, waiting for my answer. Here's the question: "When artificial stars are formed, their energy output is controlled with a specific compound/molecule. What is it?" I had several ideas, but none of them seemed correct. Well, not exactly a bright mind, eh? =D

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Golden lights

A few days ago, daily events were really confusing. Tens of meetings and telecons creeped up on me, filling up several days. At some moment, I thought: "Leave me alone!" The next morning, all meetings got cancelled (people realized they had posted on the wrong dates, people forgot meetings, etc.) .. except one, and in the midst of confusion, I forgot about that one (and went to work instead). Also, there was one day during which nobody understood me. I ended up posting a lot of references and citing my own words, but still it was as if they couldn't see my words at all.

Came to visit grandparents, to help with grandpa's new book. The gate has a code lock and occasionally I've worried about remembering the code (I use it so rarely). When I've been with someone else who remembers the code, I have not been able to remember it. However, when I've been alone and without any source to check the code from, I've somehow managed to enter the correct code on first attempt. Although the code just popped into mind again, I was still worried about whether or not it would work. Well, as it turned out, the code was correct but the lock was broken and I still had to call grandparents to open the gate for me.

It might be about 1 month or perhaps even 1.5 months of celibacy .. and I'm having digestion problems again, coupled with active sexual energy. Semi-consciously I let anti-celibacy material creep into my dreams last night. I hope this will pass without any serious energy leaks.

Noticed golden lights above the head for a few times today morning. Felt the familiar distortions of psi field around the head again as well.

It's starting to feel like the blockages are gradually dissolving while internal heat is slowly increasing.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Dream-practice in stick fighting

Some thoughts before falling asleep inspired me to practice stick fighting in a lucid dream. It was a bit difficult to maintain the form of the sticks and myself. The sticks became a bit too .. elastic, and I tilted off while trying to keep my back straight. This I found quite surprising. Obviously, my movements were out of balance, which caused the precession (so that I was looking more and more towards the ceiling). Still quite strange, as I've usually either floated around or walked on the floor.

On the pk forum, limpidprogress shared a documentary on Wim 'Iceman' Hof:

It's the best documentary I've seen of him so far. Started trying his pranayama exercises. I tried something similar a while ago, but for some reason, stopped.

A couple of attempts and I got my breath holding time from less than 1 min up to 2 min. Also, some additional internal heat has come up (some already did just by watching the video :).

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Nervous psi?

It's the third time in the past couple of weeks that I've fixed headphones. The cat loves chewing on swiggly wires of all sorts .. headphone cables are exceptionally tasty. Would be nice if the cat would develop more respect towards cables, because sometimes there are a lot of volts and amps going through.

Interestingly enough, I put the headphones on to test them and noticed the familiar wobbliness of psi around the crown. The headphones have a better sound quality than my el cheapo's.

There have been a few small realizations recently. One of them was about the relationship between cat's behaviour and patterns in energy flow. It might be nervous aura that makes the cat mischievous. It's as if the cat is untying the knots of tension in the psi field. While meditating or with a clear mind, the cat becomes sleepy.

Also, during the past few days, I've noticed quite sharp cracking sounds - geisting. With this, the nervousness, stress or tension has been released.

Last night I remembered some old techniques I had been using years ago. Instead of trying to heal the field of nervousness surrounding the heart chakra, I applied focus on the environment surrounding the 3rd eye. The hot and sharp blob of nervousness moved through the throat chakra, into the head and gradually transformed while on its way. Fell asleep before it made it into the crown, though.

Had a nice dream, where I was in my inner realm again. With a friend, we climbed the thatched roof of one of the buildings. As I climbed, I told him that I've usually been afraid of climbing that particular roof, because of the way it sways around in the ever-present strong wind. Well, although it swayed around a lot, this time I actually enjoyed it. I've forgotten the rest of the dreams, though.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Happy, peaceful and powerful evening

Although the day started off in a confusing way, and I felt dazed throughout the day (difficult to apply my mind to the job at hand). Perhaps I took the weekend too easy. Doesn't matter, because from mid-day, I became happy. I still am. The evening walk home felt pretty powerful too. Merged consciousness with objects: the slightly foggy air with streetlamps, the bridge, the asphalt, those trees ..

Thank you all!

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Slight fever?

Not feeling too good. It's as if I had a slight fever or something, while at the same time, the crown is a bit more active than usually.

Didn't blow any streetlamps today.

Owltwelve posted inspiring quotes from "Invisibility - Mastering the Art of Vanishing" by Steve Richards. Read that and played with the cloud a bit, which might have stirred some old stuff that could've caused the tiredness.

Monday, October 12, 2015

Shroud of darkness

Have been working long days and weekends, lectures and homework stuffed somewhere in between. Although I managed to overcome stress for some time, it has somehow creeped back.

I think (days and nights have sort of blended together) it was yesterday evening when I walked home that a streetlamp made a flash and went out. It was then that I noticed the starry sky. Looked up and stepped into the pieces of a shattered glass bottle, crushing them.

Then I think it was today that I also stepped into the pieces of a shattered glass bottle, crushing them. Today evening while walking home, I noticed a couple of streetlights going out as I walked past (started wondering why it was so dark). Started counting them and got about 5 in total. About four of them lit up again once I had gone far enough. Well .. I do enjoy the darkness, but having streetlights blow out within a radius of about 20 meters is a bit weird.

At home, I realized that actually I do enjoy working in a quick response development team. Previously I have acted as if I did not like it, somehow trying to get back to safe ground without responsibilities.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Some cat telepathy

Visualized swimming in cold water in pitch black darkness before falling asleep again. This visualization has helped to acquire the feel of a waving space-time. It has also caused jolts of consciousness sometimes. I really like it because it relaxes the body and mind very quickly.

Spent most of the night on some work-related stuff. Then looked outside .. "What, sunrise already?" So I went out. There was quite a wind outside, but I knew storms would be coming soon enough. Wanted to store some old stuff somewhere so that it wouldn't be broken with the wind, rain and snow. Carried a large piece of glass with a large fracture in it. Wanted to store it in one of the sheds, which I found to be close to falling apart as well.

There was some sort of an entity next to me. Asked if the building could still put up against the storms. They answered: "So far everything that you've built, has held up to now."

Climbed the building and stored things inside. The entity threw a bunch of iron hooks for me to put away in there. Put them next to a pile of long iron nails, which I found from underneath some hay.

Although everything was rusty and close to falling apart, the overall feeling of the dream was really nice and peaceful .. and the sunshine was pretty.

Telepathy with the cat hasn't worked too well recently. However, a few days ago it suddenly did. I wanted to brush my teeth but the cat had found his way into the sink. He tugged the bottle of liquid soap, which then fell into the sink. "Look what you did. Now how are you going to get it back there?" I thought to him. I left the bathroom and when I came back a minute later, he was still there, looking at the bottle with a sad aura. I felt sorry for what I had done and with telepathy, tried to explain that it didn't really matter - the bottle was not important.

Although it did work then, it still seems awfully difficult to explain to the cat that it's not polite to stomp on my work, play piano on the laptop keyboard, chew wires or climb up our feet. :)

Friday, October 9, 2015

Stainport

Have been missing a few cues. Rational mind has blocked illogical actions.

A few days ago the cat sped out as I opened the door to the stairway. Me: "NoOooO.o What?" The cat stopped. I carefully picked him up and transported him back indoors. Then closed the door and saw a large stain on the floor, which I did not see before. Apparently this was what the cat was sniffing. However, I found it really odd that I had not seen the stain there before .. as if it had appeared only after I had picked up the cat and closed the door. At first I thought the cat had pissed there, leaving the stain. Later when I thought about it a bit more, it seemed absurd because:
  1. The stain was too big to have been caused within a second or less.
  2. The cat does not piss on the floor like that.
  3. The reflection of the stain indicated it was dry and had formed out of something sticky (as if someone had spilled a can of lemonade).
Since the moment that the stain appeared, everything felt slightly different .. as if I had popped from one realm into another. Well, gradually the event faded in memory and now (2 or 3 days later) I'm pretty much convinced I must have overlooked the stain as I had my attention on the cat.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Safe ground

Last night had an even more violent dream. Today I caught myself laughing at situations that were not funny. In fact, laughing was not polite at all.

Took a daily nap of about 2 hours.

I still find it a bit difficult to let go properly, especially with all those responsibilities. If it only affected me and perhaps some friends, it would be easier to let go and relax. I take things seriously when they seem to have a considerable impact on the country's economy and foreign politics. Or perhaps I'm taking these things too seriously -- perhaps even more seriously than politicians do?

Anyhow, have to somehow do all that is needed, with only barely enough time and not enough people to do it. No excuses, nothing to explain away the unforeseen delays (somehow even multiplying initial estimates by a factor of 4 or 5 wasn't enough).

There's a habit to think of the periphery of attention as something over which I have no control. For example, I like to think I have no control over the delays of the work of others: component distributors, manufacturers, etc. I love curling up on the safe ground that I've considered my area of expertise: software development. Also, spreading attention / focus on a wide area seems rather difficult for me. I mean, while I'm working on management issues, then software or electronics development seems so far out there that it takes time to get back to it again as well as the other way around. So, perhaps the widening of attention is what I need to work on? Hmm .. this actually makes sense.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Lake and bonfire


Sat on the bed, cross-legged. Cat came and slept next to me. Practised concentration a bit, until the washing machine finished. From the corner of my eyes, I saw something to my right. A small flickering source of white light. Larger than the orbs I've seen so far, though.

Pewep shared this video on the pk forum:


This inspired me to challenge my mind-blocks harder.

Behaved quite stupid in the dreams. But then again, it efficiently highlighted quite a few mind-blocks. Anyway, the dreams were a sequence of artificially generated situations that lost their "sense of reality" the moment I based my actions on them.

Blowing my nose a lot today. A few days ago, the large knot of cold psi in the chest rose up to the throat and then up to the pineal gland. This was triggered by a realization of how happy I actually am with life.

Visited a forest and had a bonfire at a lake on Saturday. A lot of quality discussions. The nature was pretty, but the people seemed suspicious around there. Were they suspicious of us, or were we suspicious of them..?

Had a strong jolt of consciousness there.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Just .. dreams

Interesting dreams .. being on a boat with stormy water has been the most recent recurring theme. Pretty nature scenery as well.

Last night / morning, though, I found something interesting. Usually numbers, texts in the dreams are unclear and ever-changing. However, in this dream that was not the case. I was reading a book .. and doing so for a fairly long time (half an hour?). During that time, I browsed the pages and came back to the same page to read it again and cite it. The text was very persistent and there did not seem to have been any changes whatsoever. However, the book itself was a bit strange .. the sentences sort of made sense but seemed out of this world (alien logic). It was like a children's fiction book ingrained with existential subjects.

Ah, one more thing. Sister got a cat. However, in a dream the cat had a human-like form. He could talk, but only to a very limited degree. Anyway, the cat seems to be a bit frustrated that he's so small compared to us. He can't see what we are doing, eating for most of the time .. which is why he tries to climb us or climb other things to get closer to the eye level. During the first couple of days, he seemed to have been listening to telepathy. After that I guess he no longer cared much about we had to say about his actions.