Additional notes

Forgot to mention that the lamp couldn't be turned off when we left the room yesterday. Today, the lamp was no longer lit .. either someone had managed to turn it off or it had burned out.

Discussed psionics with a skeptic at night.

I was pretty tired when I got home. Took a nap and ended up sleeping 16h in a row. 

Summer school, 1st day

Yay, another summer-school. Took a car to the destination. While on the way, I focused on feeling the surrounding trees, lakes, ridges, cars and air moving around.

At the destination, we had a conference room reserved for the satellite team. Erik checked the lights, which were tunable. At some point during our discussions, I noticed the reflection of the central lamp on my laptop (the lamp was lit). When I pointed it out, Erik asked me if it was me swinging the lamp. I hadn't even noticed it was swinging and denied it. A couple of hours later, all the lamps suddenly turned on. The guy closest to the lamp switches became confused, because he hadn't even been close enough to flip the switches. He shrugged and turned them back off.

XD It's funny to see people devising plans for organizing me a girl or to get me to drink alcohol. Nah, it hasn't worked for years and it still doesn't.

Took a swim and felt pretty buoyant in the surrounding psi afterwards.

Orb manifestation

Took a few pictures of the rooms, meditated a bit and took some more pictures .. no orbs though. Put a camera rolling and attempted to manifest something on the video. Basically a construct flaring attempt. I don't think I caught any of it on video, but for a couple of times, tiny spheres of light appeared, flew around and then disappeared. It was interesting that the spheres did not appear at the highest density of psi, but rather away from it. They seemed to appear more from the "foam" of rapidly washing psi around the point of focus.

Trap

Wow, it's been a while. I think I fell .. pretty deep into the murky waters.

I guess that last meditation session materialized some deeper fears or something. Lost all motivation for going forward on the path towards enlightenment. No more motivation for practicing pk or even reading any of that stuff. With just 1 day, I had lost all belief, seemingly without any reason.

It took me a couple of days to get back to where I am now .. can feel psi again. A part of the belief is back. I've learned something on the way.

Don't look back, that's not who you want to be. That I've done on almost every pk session .. looking back in hopes of being able to remember it better for blogging. I get the feeling that if only I had kept walking, I would've become enlightened multiple times over (judging by all the visions, at least). Coming back after each step only to write it all down .. is not very reasonable.

That gym training that my friend makes me go through, it's not too convenient pk-wise. It makes all muscles ache, driving chi downwards from the crown. I can feel chi rushing around in the regions that have become sore. As a side-effect, this brings more chi into the lower chakras and highlights problems that I had missed before. It seems that focusing on the crown chakra doesn't solve anything on its own. It seems like a short-circuit to a realm that I haven't reached quite yet. So, in a sense, I could say I was fleeing from my own problems by bringing chi up into the crown. That's a pretty good answer to the question I had from the dream yoga book.

Affirmations, thanks a lot. You helped me make my way out of the pit. I see light and weather is nicer again. My dreams have become more pleasant and better controlled again and so has "real life".

Edit: Read Owltwelve's "Stick in the mud" post. Thank you so much! It related to a lot of what I've been experiencing recently.

Meditation on Sushumna flame

Another evening film before sleep.

Meditated on the noise of the central flame before going to sleep. Noticed that there was the original noise and there were a lot of echoes, which made it a bit difficult to stay attuned. Attention kept slipping to both the echoes and the wobbles in psi field density inside and around me. Brought my attention back to what I thought was the noise of the central flame and tried to keep it there.

Each time, something changed. At first I felt acknowledged, then a red robe was offered. Then a lot of necklaces with pearls. Finally saw myself surrounded in silver and a little bit of gold. At first, the feeling of being humble (becoming absorbed in the noise without a sense of self) became naturally. With more power and gold offered to the self, I now had to detach and become absorbed in the noise again.

Stopped and went to bed with the goal to continue the practice there. It seemed as if I had missed the exact feelings I had been using before. Though, by focusing on the noise some more, the flame became more intense and more heat was produced.

As a reflection of the film I was observing people, as they faced challenges and learned to tame their ego.

Rolling barbells

Visited the gym with Hyena again today. While we were lifting weight, I occasionally had problems with the bar rolling around and falling off the mat. My intent and feelings seemed to greatly influence the rolling, as I could make it roll on will. There was some more geisting on the weights, but I somehow managed to forget what it was about. All in all, this is the most remarkable movement that I've been able to achieve with gym equipment so far.

In the sauna, I was staring at the sauna heater rocks, wondering what would one need to be able to walk on it without suffering any burns. Found an old assumption deep down, which I now knew didn't hold for me any longer. A moment later I was able to breathe in hot air a lot easier than before. The heat felt more pleasurable than before. It seemed as if I could've stayed in there for a long time.

It's cool, how surreal everything feels sometimes. Feeling all the trees, buildings, cars, people in visible range. Feeling becoming lighter; leaning on a table with the psi field, table snapping.

Dad teleporting

Been programming, or more accurately, debugging a lot lately.

Dad started translating Thoth's tablets into our local language. Took a nap. At some moment everything seemed quiet, then I heard an "Oh oh" from the living room; woke up. Dad said he had lost sense of his whereabouts and thought he was in an old building with birds singing outside (somewhere he hadn't been before). At some point he had realized that's not where he was supposed to be and started visualizing himself in the living-room again. He eventually noticed more and more of the familiar details in the dark living-room.

Cool, he's teleporting again =D.

While in the kitchen, I remembered what the professor had said at the ceremony. Thought of discussing it with dad, but considered the subject too unimportant. I think I ended up focused on the feeling of the subject or something. It blew my mind when dad brought up the same subject from my own viewpoint. A successful telepathic suggestion..

Browsed a couple of old books from his bookshelf. "Practical magic" in Russian, to be more precise. The reason why I decided to learn Russian in 5th or 6th grade or something. The books mostly contain sigils with descriptions on what they've been used for.

Another levitation dream

Had a dream where I woke up early in the morning. It was still dark and for some reason, my vision was all blurry. Went to the balcony. Suddenly there was the friend I visited yesterday. He fell off the balcony edge. Couldn't reach his hands, but managed to levitate him up again.

=D Neat. Switched the lamp on and when I came back from kitchen, I suddenly realized that the radiometer was standing still. It hasn't done that at its current position yet (about 1/4 inch from the halogen lamp). Shook it spinning and stopped it for a few times. Felt the vanes in my head. Couldn't rotate it in reverse yet.

Stasis practice seems to boost pk quite remarkably. By applying a similar state of mind, some other stuff on the table twitched as well.

Had an interesting dream. I was programming something for a deadline, practicing pk at the same time. Well, I was having difficulties. Took me a moment to realize that sister had come to the living room to practice push on plastic cups. ::A lot of ruckus::, sister shouting: "I finally did it!!"

I was jealous, but still had a hard time trying to twitch something. ::Some more noise::, sister was rolling a huge barrel around on the floor. This must have inspired me .. started to clean the room, having stuff hop into my hands.

Ceremony

That playing FPS still meant the same thing as always .. I had caught cold. Attempted to rainshield myself a few days ago and it didn't go too well.

Being bored, I twitched the chandelier at yesterday's graduation ceremony. It seemed rather responsive and moved quite a bit .. until that professor ridiculed people who believe in astrology, numerology, mind over matter and stuff. Experienced a temporary rush of anxiety, followed by a sharp drop in self-confidence. Couldn't twitch the chandelier no more, even though the rest of the speeches were more encouraging.

I guess I'm a bit out of shape, getting anxious about something that meaningless. I don't like it, because it feels sort of like a psychic attack (angry psi rushing towards the victim). Such attacks give all the more reason to box oneself in and teach others to do the same for protection.

We were about to take pictures. Jumped onto a concrete fence, even though it seemed rather high. I was amazed.

Grandfather once entered my room, pointing at one of the toy windmills, asking "What the heck is this?". Just told him it's a "toy windmill". He probably didn't want to know what it was about, just left the room. They want us to be "normal". Grandparents left for home again.

Met a lot of old friends on the way. Paid a visit to a good old friend (lives 2 floors below, but we haven't visited each other for 2 years or more). Watched a film at his place.

FPS dungeon

Saw a lot of dreams last night, but forgot most of them by morning.

Sometimes I'm playing FPS in the dreams, don't know why.

I was amazed at how I did it this time - I treated the dream as if it were an OBE. Closed my eyes, visualized a corridor. Walked down the corridor. Everything was hazy at first, no clear details, no sensory input .. just feelings. Visualized a door at the end of the corridor, trying to hold focus as sharp as possible. The moment I gripped the handle and opened the door, my mind became entrained to the "dungeon" I had created. Everything acquired fine details, sensory input kicked in. I was in. Added mobs (some working on hazardous chemicals, some performing maintenance on some sort of complex electronics and stuff), barrels of hazardous chemicals, some complex machinery and stuff. Created weapons, formed a team and started shooting.

Happy 80

Took a trip to the summerhouse. Grandpa held his 80th birthday with most of the relatives there.

The trip started at 0.00 AM, because it's simply too hot for driving during the day. It was an interesting experience, my mind became clear and everything around me seemed a bit childish, people making a fuss of unnecessary things, spreading unnecessary info (aka noise) and so on. This lasted for a couple of hours, until my uncle found a subject that I had to respond to. Felt like falling back into the sandbox. Became tired. Missed a night at the destination (perhaps 2h of sleep before aunt woke me up).

Observed some exotic species of mice in a cage. In order for their lives to have a meaning, they imagined it. Acting like they had to go somewhere, do something important and then come back. Observing other people around me, I noticed that they acted the same .. even I did. We tend to over-exaggerate the importance of events and situations.

Had a lot of work there. Managed to reach a meditative state while doing work at last.

They had found someone on an old picture, who looked almost like me (a tall guy, holding his hands the same way I often do). Could be or could be not my previous reincarnation or something.

Although I was really tired, I managed to play around with pk a couple of times. Slowly rotated a lamp cover. Opened and closed a door with wind.

There was a funny geisting experience. I was about to wash my dishes when a small piece of paper flew from the middle of nowhere (came from the sink). For a short moment, it flew around like a butterfly. I was a bit amazed, but really enjoyed the show.

I knew when there were storm clouds approaching. Funny that the others couldn't hear it. One of these clouds had a funny shape - an almost perfect disk above us.

Midnight push successful

Yay, I did it!

Dad woke up, checked the stream and said: "Someone has been here". The DVD case had fallen over. Though, it had fallen roughly into the same funny position that I saw while in the half-dream state (a half-OBE of sorts). I had been trying to tip it over while visualizing myself at the table, feeling the object.

I considered the position funny, because the DVD case had fallen towards the edge of the table, but it hadn't fallen down to the floor. It's as if the top edge moved towards the camera and the bottom edge moved in the opposite direction or something.

It's a great success, unless I'm sleepwalking =D.

Connection loss .. some problem with the DHCP server. Happened 3x .. stopped broadcasting.

UStream

Couldn't sleep much last night again. Slept 2h during the day.

Started a broadcast:
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/psychokinesis-live
The password is "PsiCreative".

It will be online for uhm, a day at max. Need my laptop for other stuff as well.
Practiced push on an anti-static bag with iJodix there.

Quality is lousy, but I won't be attempting to fix it before the session is over.

Psi-wheel had started moving on its own. Closed the balcony door for the night.

Building a system

Spent most of the night in a half-dream state, building some sort of a system. A system for meditating through the dreams via some feelings or something. Doesn't make too much sense to me now. I wonder if I'll be sleepy today or not.

Nightstorm on PsionicsOnline said that their friend learned to teleport on will in a month.

Edit:
It's interesting that today I felt tired, but ended up being a Duracell bunny instead.

Didn't drink that sports drink anymore, occasionally just washed my mouth with water and no longer even felt thirsty.

iJodix said his pk had a great boost from yesterday's live experiments. Cool, need an ethernet camera and a long ethernet cable, then perhaps I could sacrifice my whole room for remote pk practice 24/7. Perhaps whip up a program for recording movements and saving a list of people who have logged in. That could be fun..

Remote pk

Meditated for 1h. This time my head was even more dreamy (clouded with random thoughts and images). Might've been tired since the last time or it might've been the cookies, ate a lot of 'em.

Anyway, I noticed that reciting a mantra in my mind cleared the clouds up and mind became more clear. Something was different though, I didn't feel too compelled to practice levitation. Slept the rest of the night. Had a couple of dreams that I remembered well after waking up.

iJodix requested for a video chat. An idea popped up. Took a large toy windmill and stuck it in front of the webcam. We started practicing. It occasionally twitched a little.

Had another pk session later, with the windmill, a psi-wheel and a couple of things to practice push / pull on. We succeeded in rotating the toy windmill quite a bit. Probably twitched some other stuff on the table. Suddenly, I felt a strong gust of wind appear from the middle of nowhere .. on the table. The psi-wheel spun a few revolutions. This pretty much startled me .. it wasn't me, [points at iJodix] =).

One more pk session, this time with a psi-wheel on iJodix's table. The OBE feeling of it became pretty strong, chi was rushing in the central channel, body heat rose and felt a bit dizzy. His psi-wheel usually bounced back after moving it. Thought it was a construct and occasionally visualized dissolving it.

Hyena invited me to the gym. Drank some sports drink and started feeling sick afterwards. Focused on my crown and something new happened .. I felt something cold rushing into the head. While taking a shower later, it felt incredibly weird when I let water spray into the crown. Can't explain the feeling. Amazing, how clear my mind was after the training again. Although it's good for pk and focus, it's tough - it's probably gonna be a week full of training every day.

Some meditating

Finished reading Thoth's tablets yesterday. A lot of what was described, coincided with my experiences. On the other hand, a lot of it was new .. haven't experienced yet.

Read some more of the dream yoga book and watched Inception again. Meditated for about 2.5h at night, trying to keep focused on one thought / intention. Constantly fell asleep, forgot what I was supposed to be doing, had to wake up and bring back my focus.

Attempted to levitate during a few moments of clarity. The sound of the surroundings snapping and chair crackling disturbed my focus. Sometimes, jolts of the feeling of becoming lighter and rising startled me.

My actual goal had been to meditate till sunrise. Had a vision of myself still sitting there during sunrise and realized that there's no point in doing it the way I would have. Meditating for long without being able to focus clearly is not much different from a disturbed sleep. Feel pretty tired while writing this.

Need to work on the duration and accuracy of focus on objects. Meditating for the whole night, totally absorbed in a single feeling .. that would be awesome.

Practiced trataka a bit more seriously again yesterday. Though, the session was rather short.

Sister started another discussion on the enlightenment subject. Subconscious notified me that she would succeed in making fun of me. An interesting experience, though, rather dull when compared to how it used to feel like years ago. Although I was reluctant at first, this 4-5 hours of discussion seemed to have paid itself off by the end. Hopefully it was more efficient than spending it on anything else.

Just watched Tron: Legacy. It was so amazing .. and inspiring. Just loved the feeling of unlimited creativity with some additions from Serial Experiments Lain and Matrix.

I wanna fly, fly!

Shirak's levitation raised the urge for practicing levitation again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAQjgC9Nl84

Meditated, constantly bringing my attention back from wandering around. Continued it while asleep. At some point I realized this method didn't work very well for me. Tried another method .. just relaxed and my mind became clear on its own .. levitated out of body.

A couple of quotes from the dream yoga book:

.. the view is boundless: the teachings that apply to non-duality, non-conventional reality, declare that there is nothing to accomplish, that seeking is losing, that effort carries one away from one's true nature. But there are also practices and teachings that only make sense in terms of duality, in terms of hope and fear. Instruction is given on interpreting dreams, on pacifying local guardians, on accomplishing long-life practices, and the student is urged to practice with diligence and to guard the focus of the mind. It sounds like we are being told both that there is nothing to accomplish and that we need to work very hard.

Ultimately we want to use dream to liberate ourselves from all relative conditions, not simply to improve them.

With the latter one answering to my previous post.

I think I found Naruse Masaharu's e-book on levitation:

http://www.naruse-yoga.com/levitation-e.html

Though, it costs 2500 yen and it's in Japanese.

Realized how stupid it is and gave up on it as a goal. It doesn't have to be a goal with a deadline .. it doesn't matter when or how I'm going to achieve it, I know I'll do it anyway. Good pk sessions are spontaneous and stem from freedom.

Realm of god?

Cleaned myself with psi; visualized washing dirt off the bones. Relaxed and practiced some OBEs.

Read from the dream yoga book that the realm of god is just another realm, temporary and non-lasting. I'm a bit disappointed and still want to believe it's eternal. I mean, having control over one's life, appreciating and loving everything that there is .. is it not worth striving for?

Sure, it might be worth it, but what can be worth more than being one with everything e.g. being god? This clashes with my perspective on things. Perhaps when I read more, I'll know what was actually meant.

In the book, the realm of god was associated with pleasurable distraction. I have to admit that to myself, I look like I've become lazy, as if none of my material goals actually mattered. At the moment, this seems to be the only con of walking in that realm. Also, none of the other enlisted realms seem to be as healthy for the body, mind and spirit as this one.

In the book, there's another mysterious part that I can't quite understand yet =)

Astral shower

Didn't feel too enthusiastic about pk today morning (probably haven't accustomed to the heat yet). Practiced some push / pull and took a 2h nap. Practiced some OBEs and meditation during the nap.

I think I was low on psi or something when I woke up. Sister couldn't hear me or sense my movement .. startled her. 

Sister was rather depressed today and came to talk to me pretty often. After several hours, I visualized washing her with clean psi. A couple of moments later, she was ok and happy again. Stuff seems to gather and we need to clean ourselves every once in a while.

Watched "Peaceful Warrior". A truly amazing film with lots of good pk-related quotes.

Couldn't sleep at night due to mosquitoes popping up every 10 minutes. I had noticed that they didn't pop up when I had been meditating. And when I made a shield with frustration, pushing the mosquitoes out of the room, they became angry, attacking me all at once (then there were more mosquitoes buzzing around me than before). Pushed the blanket aside (I think they search for IR contrasts) and laid still. The mosquitoes scanned my body and left .. flew out to the balcony.