Welcome

The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

For reference

Steve Richard's "The Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane", pages 69-70.
In Swedenborg's visions the 'realms' were arranged hierarchically,
with the Heavens above, the Hells below, and the 'World of Spirits' -
which would correspond to the astral plane - in the middle. He says that in the World of Spirits' there are hells under every mountain, hill, and rock, and under every plain and valley. The entire heaven and World of Spirits are, as it were, excavated beneath, and under them is a continuous hell'[11] 'The Hells are not seen', he says, 'because they are closed up. Only the entrances, which are called gates, are seen when they are opened to let in other spirits.' [12] Even' the gates and doors of the hells are visible only to those who are about to enter. '[13] Those gates which are beneath 'the mountains, hills, and rocks', he says, 'appear like holes and clefts in the rocks, some extended and wide, some straightened and narrow, and many of them rugged.'[14] As for those gates to be found beneath plains and valleys, 'some resemble those that are beneath the mountains, hills, and rocks; some resemble dens and caverns, some great chasms and whirlpools; some resemble bogs, and some standing water. '[15] At each gate' a monster commonly appears that represents in a general way the forms of those within'[16] 'When they are opened there bursts forth from them either something like the fire and smoke that is seen in the air from burning buildings, or like a flame without smoke, or like soot such as comes from a burning chimney, or like a mist and thick
cloud. ' [17] He says that' a dense fire' comes from the gates of hells' where the love of self prevails', and' a flaming fire' from the gates of hells 'where the love of the world prevails .. . . When the hells are closed this fiery appearance is not seen, but in its place there is a kind of obscurity like a condensation of smoke, although the fire still rages within ' The hell-dwellers, though, are' conscious of no burning' since' the fire is only an appearance'. They feel ' only warmth, like that which they had felt when in the world' since they' are as in their own atmosphere. '[18] All the hells, 'when looked into, appear dark and dusky.'[19] 'When they are opened gloomy and seemingly sooty caverns and dens in rocks [are seen] extending inward and then downward, either obliquely or vertically, into an abyss, where there are many doors. '[20] Some of these looked like ' dens and caves of wild beasts in forests', whereas others resembled 'the hollow caverns and passages that are seen in mines, with caverns extending towards the lower regions.' Now from' these caverns nauseous and fetid stenches exhale' which he compares with ' the odour from dung and excrement in the world .... In the worst hells [it is] like the odour of dead bodies. '[21] He says that ' evil spirits seek for [these smells] because they delight in them. For as every one in the world has been delighted with his own evil so after death he is delighted with the
stench to which his evil corresponds. '[22]
[11] Emmanuel Swedenborg, Heaven And Its Wonders, And Hell. translated by J.C. Ager. New York: The American Swedenborg Printing and Publishing Company. 1925. p.385.
[12] Ibid. p.380.
[13] Ibid, p.263.
[14] Ibid, p.380.
[15] Ibid. p.381.
[16] Ibid, p.359.
[17] Ibid. p.381.
[18] Ibid. pp.372. 381.
[19] Ibid. p.380.
[20] Ibid. pp.263, 382.
[21] Ibid. pp.263. 75.
[22] Ibid. p.263.


This fits rather well with the caving story. Perhaps it indicates that a lot of astral realms are multi-layered and partially span the material world as well. Poor cavers breaking down into their own hell.

This story further demonstrates the grotesque nature of the caving story:
[30] Eliphas Levi, "La Clef des Grands Mysteres". Paris: Diffusion Scientifique, updated, pp.110-111.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

For the record

A few posts back I referenced Ted's caving page. Will reference again.
Here it is:
http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/page1.html
The symbol next to the moving boulder, adapted from Ted's caving page.
Since sister remembers being in a dark room between incarnations, I asked her if this symbol means anything to her. Next day she said it reminded her that she spent her time drawing in the dark. She imagined a plane to draw on, and drew symbols that matched her state of mind or emotions. She said she definitely remembers the downward stroke, which was the most prominent in the symbols that she drew.

/mildlyinteresting.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Smile :)


A geist that made me smile.

Happened to be listening to music and writing a test report, when I noticed a dust smiley in a corner of the image sensor. At the same time, the vocals said "Still had a smile on my face". Koven - Breathing me in, by the way.


Santa brought a book "101 sacred places in Estonia". Nice. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get anything even slightly witchy from the skeptical grandfather.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Rituals must be finished

To be honest, I didn't consider it much of a ritual. But mid-today I suddenly realized I hadn't finished the ritual.

I'll list the steps:
  1. Gather in a circle.
  2. Start dancing (slower rhythms at first).
  3. A break.
  4. Gather in a circle, around a candle that has a ring of cards around it.
  5. One by one, everyone is welcome to circle around the ring of cards and pick one.
  6. Pens are handed out, to have everyone write down what it is they will relieve themselves of. And what the following life will be like.
  7. The cards are put on a table with candles in the four corners.
  8. Another session of dancing, with focus on becoming rid of what was written on the paper. Faster rhythms, ending with somewhat calmer songs with powerful messages.
  9. A break.
  10. Last session of dancing, the culmination of cleansing. Very fast rhythms, with chaotic and somewhat abrupt transitions.
  11. A break.
  12. Short meditation session.
  13. Gather in a circle around candles and food.
  14. Sing powerful songs - like chants ("Fly like an eagle," and the band's own songs).
  15. Hugging other participants and thanking them.
  16. Take the card, turn it around and read the quote for yourself.
Here's the step that wasn't mentioned .. and I nearly missed:
  • Wash off the sweat, visualizing letting go of what I wrote on the card. Must be done before going to bed (I didn't).
The issue was that the old constructs were anxiously clinging to me afraid of being released. So all of the old issues came back amplified and kept prodding me for half of the next day.

Typically I don't do rituals. I don't consider them necessary. It's easy to place too much importance in the rituals and forget what it's all actually about.

Friday, December 23, 2016

Witchdance

There was some kind of a Gong concert / dancing event yesterday. Took my camera from work and joined just on a whim, because a colleague was going. As it turned out, they needed a cameraman and I just happened to stumble in through the door.

I was certain I couldn't dance (perhaps 21 or 22 years since I last danced .. in the kindergarten). Also, haven't done any sports for half a year. Apparently I didn't know myself well enough. I treated it as a relaxation exercise and tried to involve as many muscles as possible, while constantly inventing different moves. Two hours of (intense) dancing and I wasn't even out of breath or tired. Eventually I did integrate Qigong exercises into the dancing moves, to re-energize.

After that, a meditative concert with crystal bowls and Gongs. Released a lot of attachments, but didn't quite enter a meditative state yet.

Then, a round of singing. Another thing that I've tried to avoid, saying that I can't sing. It's perhaps slightly over 10 years that I last participated in a choir. Tried to overcome this insecurity as well. Found it interesting, how the candles danced to the singing .. much like we had danced before.

In the end, nobody wanted to leave .. not after all this work to produce good energetics.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Sister's theory of uncle's rebirth

The previous post reminded me of a discussion one evening.

Background: One of the uncles died due to brain tumour. He was a musician, who collected ancient songs, rhymes and modernized them.

Sister said that the newborn son of another uncle reminded her of the deceased one. "The decision to be reborn into the family would be so like him," she said. I agreed, but assuming that's the case, I felt sorry for him to have made such a decision.

Imagine being him, reborn so that his sisters are now over 40 years older than him. He wants to talk to them but can't - hasn't learned to speak yet. He would probably outlive all his brothers, sisters, and his own children. Moreover, his sisters singing him to sleep with his own songs. No wonder he would start crying on that (which he did).

Sister pictured being reborn like this as something nice. To me it seems rather harsh - why would anyone want to live a life like that?

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Afraid of responsibilities?

Read Steve Richard's "The Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane" on the bus again yesterday. The section about astral sex, the alignment of bodies on all the numerous planes, as well as the formation of a vortex that pulls in souls from the planes. This answered a lot of questions I didn't know I had .. and made me reinterpret a lot of dreams.

Practised memory recall before falling asleep yesterday. Random numbers, quotes from radio, etc.

Attended the birthday party of an old classmate in dreams. A very nice and bright dream, I might add. Back in school, I didn't think much of him, I didn't like him and he didn't like me. We've only bumped into each-other twice since then. Very random of me to dream of him. Checked and he does not have a birthday today. His birthday is 10 days before mine.

A faint glimpse at the golden fog (I think), at noon. In the evening I re-realized the power of balanced focus. On the way home, I focused on the lights of cars passing by, for perhaps a minute. This brought a moment of clarity.


Found some scenes of "X-Files S01E12 - Fire" a pretty good inspiration for pyrokinesis practice. Unfortunately, Cecil failed to use it for meritorious purposes. Found it interesting how Mulder was pushed to face his greatest fear and how he handled it.

S01E13 brought tears, though. Maybe that's the episode that first got me into thinking empathy was the best punishment against crime. The episode was about a mass murderer, who had turned psychic. He was constantly being tortured by the stares of all his victims from beyond their graves. He became terrified of having to face all of them on death. But that was not enough, he was still treated as a mass murderer and sentenced to death.

I guess my biggest fear at this point is being assigned responsibilities that I'm unable to fulfil. One of the cycles again, as this fear makes it difficult to fulfil responsibilities.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Light and dark


Light

Inspired by the new X-files, I watched a couple of episodes from the old series yesterday .. and a few today. I grew up to the old X-files and it packs a lot of memories.

After watching some exceptionally creepy episodes, I went to bed and dreamt of a sunny day .. which I spent on climbing a lighthouse. It looked something like EL-5199, but a lot bigger.

And dark


Other than that, in relation to the caving story I read from here:
http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/page1.html

It seemed as if the creature were friendly, but the cavers a bit unintelligent. Tried visualizing myself there, and it didn't feel bad. Probably not meant for entering with a body, though. Anyway, remembered a dream from years ago where I showed up in some pitch black dark caves with a large hall and arched doorways. I saw people moving around and became curious about what lies beyond the doorways. Some kind of a guard stopped me and told me I couldn't enter and had to leave.

Also, I was wondering if the caving story had any relation to the Halls of Amenti mentioned in Thoth's emerald tablets. Or perhaps a place where Earth's souls retreat between incarnations - aka the dark room with a lot of people that sister still remembers from before birth.

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Compressed time

Busy times.

For the past 2 years I've felt as if 1 year of my life were packed with 5 years of content. When I finally calculated my age again, I was quite surprised. Still find it difficult to believe. It seems it's getting more dense - last couple of weeks have felt like a couple of months.

Somewhere in between I managed to optimize the speed of tying shoelaces. Unfortunately my boots don't support long shoelaces too well, so there's not as much of a speed improvement as I expected. In any case, this was enough to trigger a change of mindset (and break out of the cycle) for some time. Thanks to Kakashi for the momentum. He tried to master everything in life, just because why not.

In general, dreams have been nice. Until waking up into the mess. There was a night with not as pleasant dreams, though. After working (actually work + school) for 22 hours straight, I witnessed apocalyptic dreams for 2 hours. An irreversible contamination of water. The contamination was too great for Earth to handle.

I wonder what it is that I need to learn from this. Tens of deadlines creeping in from everywhere, some restrictive, some impossible. And then at the same time, there's a lot of other stuff that needs to be dealt with .. in addition to people praising for being amazing and keeping up with all the deadlines (which is a lie that they just like to believe). Apparently I haven't mastered stuff to become efficient enough to meet all the deadlines. Actually there is a trait that is being trained throughout this mess - ability to calmly assess the situation regardless of the situation. Regardless, I take things too seriously. But they are serious, are they not?

In the meantime, I've become heavier again.

I guess there's something else that I've learned as well in the meantime. While data is being processed, I've realized random things about life, ZPE and propulsion.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Minor breakthrough

Since meditating next to a cliff would've been too scary, I visualized meditating embedded within a cliff. Very soothing.

Missed sleep. Either the visualization was too energizing, or I simply slept too much during the weekend. Or perhaps Doctor Strange was too inspiring. Perhaps a combination of all of those. Phone alarm didn't work, either.

Today it dawned on me that some things tend to repeat. Group work at school still means doing it all alone and then getting scolded for lousy teamwork. Thought about this, and wrote code when I experienced a jolt in consciousness. It suddenly shifted towards the right. The bindu point at the top of the head opened, and a wave of warmth propagated down the arms, shooting heat out of the joints. It started drawing energy upward, and formed a thicker blob around the head, neck and upper-back. By focusing on the blob, I could balance the body. Nice. I suspect that the new headphones have helped considerably. In my case, large headphones stimulate the crown by applying pressure on it.

Stared at empty space while waiting for sister, for about a minute. Saw what I used to call the "smoke" - colorless psi.

So far it's still rediscovering of what I've already experienced before.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Need less attachment

Oh well, apparently wasn't ready yet.

It was raining outside, so this time there was water. Had a dream of replacing a tap. A bit of water leaking to the floor .. no problem, right? Took a washbasin and put it under the pipework. Though, eventually I realized that the pipework had nothing to do with the water. The water level on the floor was rising fast. Tried to brush it into the drainage grills, which did not work (no physics). Thought that perhaps the other grills would work. Nope .. and the water level kept rising. Panicked and woke up only to facepalm. Should have taken a full lotus pose and meditated in the rising water. Should have tried to feel the water. Should have acquired the feeling of water, which fully describes it.

The rest of the night I enjoyed a hike.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Random weird


16.11.16 - Birthday

Brought cake and cookies to work.
  • A colleague: "It's not your birthday today, is it?"
  • Me: "It somehow happened that it is."
  • Her: "At the bus I visualized you having a birthday and not celebrating it, judging by your Buddhist influence." (she wouldn't have known)
  • Me: "Sometimes I do celebrate .. a bit."
At list for this particular birthday I decided to celebrate with a few colleagues. It seemed a bit special. Although she has previously mentioned being psychic, I found it interesting that she experienced my intention in reverse.

17.11.16 - Just some dreams

Met Hyena in the dreams again. We discussed some stuff (related to the Invisibility book, I think). Eventually he led me through a crimson corridor that had a lot of cat piss stains (weird symbol).

I said I had to go for some work related stuff.

18.11.16 - Strange symbols

Connected two dots and realized that I should try Samyama on elements from within the dreams. Theoretically, in my case currently this should be more efficient than doing the same thing in waking life.

Decided to try it. Before bed, mind had an affinity towards the fire element. Tried with that. I knew there would probably be quite a few hidden fears related to fire. However, these would pop up before I get to actual Samyama on fire, and thus it should be safe. Also, there shouldn't be any real progress until those fears are resolved. Fine.

The thought of fire split into what associated with fire - light, heat, life, activity, anxiety, etc. Fell asleep. Autumn at a foreign place with pretty scenery. I was surrounded by different things I was afraid of, the presence of which could be easily sensed. However, none of them posed any immediate danger.

One of the recurring symbols (appeared 3x): a large mother wolf with a young wolf approached me from behind and walked past. Each time, the young wolf looked at me, growling angrily. Although it didn't show it, I could tell that the large mother wolf was also angry at me. I couldn't tell the reason, and regardless of my attitude towards the young wolf (even if I petted it fearlessly), it was still sincerely angry at me. The mother wolf always took the young wolf with it, not allowing it to cause me any harm (regardless of its feelings towards me).

There were also a lot of fences. At a crossroad there was a rusty fence with a fine cloth covering it, which caught my attention. Raised the cloth and found that the fence was broken. Extracted the broken part and put it aside.

Reached prison grounds (recognized this as one of the places I've tried to avoid as much as possible). Tried not to step into forbidden areas. A man was being taken to the prison and there was a crowd shouting something. Except for the fact that the prison guards didn't like there being noisy people around, the shouted words didn't seem to mean much. Actually it sounded like a mantra, so I also chanted it a long a few times. Still remembered it in the morning but by now I seem to have forgotten what it was that they shouted there. The man was nervous and afraid. This prison contained failed lab experiments, one of which came and killed the man (gore). Not that she wanted any harm to the man, but simply the killer instinct was too strong.

19.11.16 - Dad's visit

Dad visited for birthday celebrations. A lot of interesting discussions about the formation of matter, about invisibility, politics and so on .. all compressed into a couple of hours.

He mentioned an interview about archaeological finds from Antarctica. According to that interview, it seems as if there's been a serious nuclear war there. The war has caused large craters, melted buildings, torn the ground into mountain ridges and so on. One of the theories was that this is the long sought Atlantis. According to some old texts, Atlantis used to be somewhere on the equator so that pyramids lined up on the equator line. In that case, the equator would have to have been tilted a lot (like .. perpendicular to the current one, and we would probably have to exclude the pyramids of Xi'an). But in any case, that would explain the fossils in Estonia, based on which it used to be close to the equator before the ice age. Wild theories.

He had also started tracing the decisions of politicians before and after Bilderberg meetings, to deduce what was discussed and what was agreed at the meetings. A simple yet ingenious idea, in my opinion.

I found his last story the most fascinating. He said he remembered having seen his watch before. As a kid, his father had strange visitors sometimes (a routine back in those times, I guess =D). Among them, there was an old man who was particularly fond of the family and kids. So, they took a boat trip. That was dad's first boat trip on the sea. He noticed that the old man had an interesting wrist watch. The man noticed boy's interest in his wrist watch, and said: "You like it? It's a Japanese watch, I bought it a long time ago. It's yours if you wait for 70 years." It's a Casio G5600E with solar cells. In particular, Dad remembered that the battery indicator showed 'M'. Now that he showed me his watch, it indicated a fully charged battery with 'H'. Note that this occurred in 1966. Who was the mysterious old man, who visited the family just before retirement? Also I wonder why the old man said 70 years when by now dad already has it. Father thought this could indicate time travel in 2036.

No claims here. Just raw data for future reference. Especially since the verification of details is still in progress.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Random acquaintances

Strange when people know you well but you haven't even seen them before. One of the colleagues is a bit mysterious. Met his mother today at the bus station .. or rather, his mother met me. I was very surprised. I guess it was only last year when I learned that the colleague basically lives in the next building.

Anyway, back from Italy again. The last day was very rainy. An interesting sequence of events while on my way to the airport. Although I had planned on taking a bus, for some reason I had to meet a specific taxi driver. In order to meet the taxi driver, I had to catch an earlier train in the morning (rome2rio didn't show the train). Well, actually while waiting for the train, I also met a local bank electronics engineer who knew one of the universities in Estonia. At the next stop, none of the self-service ticket machines worked. Found a ticket booth, where the lady booked me on a fast train that should've left 2 min ago. It was delayed by 10 min, so I still made it. At the next stop it took me some time to find the info booth .. bought a bus ticket to the airport. Then took me some time to find the bus stop. Got there, the taxi arrived but I decided to take a look at the bus schedule first, so the taxi left. Realized that the bus would've been there too late. Walked over to the taxi park. The taxi driver lowered the window and I recognized the face from nowhere. A very intelligent driver, so we enjoyed rather interesting discussions on politics, travelling, grammar.

The puzzle will come together at some point. It always does.

Proper breathing makes quite a difference.

During the past few days I've had a few regular dreams (not very vivid, not very stable). Slept on a tree in one of them. First time :). Since the body was not very solid, I wasn't too worried about falling, either. When I let go, I descended slowly like a feather .. without crushing any leaves or branches.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Happy Trumpsday

Pff. Random &> /dev/null
Back to the topic.

Yesterday I realized what this specific anxiety that I've been feeling is about. It's a matter of breathing. When breathing wrong (superficial breathing, sighing too much, not processing the breath for long enough and so on..), eventually some form of prana is drawn out and depleted from the body. This form of prana is necessary for internal heat. Without it, there will be a feeling of cold in the chest. Eventually this grows into a sharp pain, as if there were knives of ice in the lungs. This develops further into the smell and taste of blood and so on. Already the lack of warmth in the chest is not healthy, everything beyond that is .. well .. probably even less healthy. Other symptoms that seem to follow from the lack of prana in the chest: cold sweat, shivering, contracting aura, lack of personal power, lack of empathy, lack of self-confidence. I guess.

Wet dreams twice in a row already. I feel how that is also unhealthy, but for some reason relaxing has caused it. So perhaps it's prior buildup of internal tension that's being released while draining energy as well. In any case, celibacy + prana are a natural protection against freezing over in cold.

Last night it happened when in a dream I saw an angel with their aura. Pretty random and quite rare a symbol, for me at least.

Slowly learning Italian. Second time in Italy and still can't speak the language - there's really no excuse for that. That's why I picked this particular AirBnb host. And it seems that none of the nearby restaurants nor shops understand English. Still getting a lot of confusion and puzzled looks out of my attempts at Italian but whatever.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Thermal cycles

Put some effort into dissolving the anxiety of working late one evening. Then the next evening I realized that I need to redo the tests and the only time to do it is the very same evening. One of the thermal chambers stopped cooperating (CPU battery empty), so the tests even got delayed further. Gradually it dawned on me that I won't make it for the last bus back to town. Packed and left anyway. Whatever, will hitchhike. Or regularhike through all that snow (something like 4 hours with a large backpack full of equipment).

At like 30 meters from the building (before I had even tried to hitchhike), a car stopped. It was the director of the science popularization centre. He was going the opposite direction but asked if I wanted a lift to the bus stop, and asked when the bus was going to go. When I said I missed it, he took me to the town. Haven't felt sincere happiness like that for years, perhaps.

Workshop on the weekend, so a lot of sauna and cooling cycles in snow. Barely any sleep, tho.

Walked to the bus station last night, because there were no buses that late anymore. Had planned for it to take a long time, because there was quite thick snow on the roads. Arrived early, because apparently the roads had just been cleaned. Enjoyed the walk, as it somehow associated with a pilgrimage hike in Tibet. About 1 hour of waiting outside. That was cold, and no longer reminded of anything other than waiting there in the cold. Tried to witness the cold from a 3rd person perspective, but the effect was only temporary.

I want to overcome the effect of cold.

Quite a summer in Italy. Walked 3.8 km with luggage, which helped to heal the cold damage, I hope.

Edit: Identified split-seconds moments of super-deep sleep within taking short naps.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

That scenery tho

Focused on the stomach throughout the night. This fixed the stomach issues.

Experienced the most beautiful sceneries in the dream. Walked the pasture at countryside. Looked at the field to my left, which then morphed into seaside with pink flowers growing near the shore. A bit further, two guys on a boat were placing fish nets (I think). The dark sea reflecting the morning sun, together with the flowers and all..

Okay, continued walking. The grassy road morphed into asphalt. Stepped on a shard of glass. With this dream body, I taste everything I touch. So, it felt as if I was chewing on the glass. Picked it up and continued walking (while biting and chewing the glass). Laughed at myself for eating glass in thoughts (almost like one of my aunts). Dropped it off right next to another glass shard at the fence of somebody's backyard. Continued walking along the road.

Thick rain clouds, but it was awesome, how sunlight was shining through the clouds. Moreover, the sky was very easy to affect with pk. Played around with focusing light on different patches of flowers. A lady with a kid walked the same road. At some moment she pointed at the sky, to make sure the kid also saw the godrays. I also turned around and looked up at the rays I had directed at the patch of flowers.

Very vivid. Though, lighting conditions and colours were slightly surreal (high ambient but still a lot of contrast). As if seeing in HDR.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Trick or treat?

::long_doorbell & cat darts away from the door::

::Trick or treat?::
F****. Thought about it for a couple of seconds and said "I don't have any".
So, paused my homework and went baking pastries.

Anyway, dreams have been interesting, but apparently the psi channels have become clogged again so celibacy practice hasn't been doing too well. Targeted some unhealthy thought patterns, hoping that would help to clear the channels again.

Two nights ago I ended up dreaming of Malta again. I was worried about not having my accommodation organized. So, looked around for a restaurant with free wifi, to check if there's any place free on AirBnb. Interesting that although now I'm not worried about getting back, I'm worried about accommodation ::facepalm::. Apparently due to the worries I had missed the point of the dream altogether. I had become associated with someone else. At a rather fancy-looking hotel, the person detached and everything changed. Magical artefacts became visible throughout the room. Instead of this guy finding the room, the room had probably found him. I saw him form a portal on the wall, walk in and disappear.

Read some more of Steve Richard's "Invisibility" yesterday. This inspired one of the most interesting dreams (or so I thought from within the dream). Browsed a lot of old texts and stuff, in a malleable building of some sort. Again, by the end of the dream, I realized it wasn't mine .. I was just observing another guy dreaming that.

Saw the bookshelf again with my eyes closed a couple of nights ago.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Flamedreams

Recurring symbol in pretty much all dreams for about a week:
  • flammable objects catching flames or becoming really hot all of a sudden
In one of the dreams, instead of flames there were simply dangerous spots of great power, shooting arcs of electricity.

There was a a succubus as well. Though, in general it seems that the foot pads helped to clear the channels, making celibacy practice a lot easier.

First snow. Quite a lot of it, actually.

Invested quite a bit of effort in a subject that I hadn't been able to attend much. Downloaded slides and studied from that, but apparently not all slides had been uploaded by then. Didn't go too well, so I guess I still didn't invest enough effort. This didn't stir any emotions, although I would've expected it to. To make sure it won't go to waste, I'll still pump up the energy and convert as much as I can for future inspiration.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Excerpts

There was some geisting today. Didn't feel it being mine, though. A cup made some ruckus in the cupboard. ::A colleague stares at the cupboard with a suspecting glance, and says: "I suspect it's mine. There's something paranormal haunting me today.":: Perhaps 10 minutes later, another colleague enters the room, walks past the sink and a mug hops (or at least makes a sound as if it did).

A couple of days ago I tapped a pen against the table while working through lecture slides or something. I found that I could tap the pen against the table with just a single finger (did that for about 3 times), until I started wondering about it. Tried again and couldn't reproduce it.

Played with clouds yesterday morning while waiting for a car. Slowed down some parts of the cloud, sped up some other parts and so on.

About a week ago I was seeing spots of cat's aura .. continuously for perhaps a minute or so.

The detox foot pads are pretty good and they've made a difference. Though, wouldn't want to use them for too many days in a row. Uncomfortable.

Have been feeling more and more floaty.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Trousers on pants vol 2

An old friend organized a party at his new place. We were shown around and had a lot of salad, pie, cake, cookies. But that's not what I wanted to post about. His mom visited as well, and started to tell me about the weird experience when she saw me walking with trousers on top of pants. Friend apologized to his mother: "Sorry, I forgot to tell you that there's no need to worry about him. He's alright." His mom: "No, it's not that I was worried about him. At that moment a lot of strange thoughts popped up. I wondered if I was seeing a ghost or something. He looked exactly like you, he was even wearing the same pants."

At that moment I turned more serious. I doubt anyone else in the hometown would have worn these pants. The pants were a very specific pre-order from the US. Although there probably are other pants that may look the same, this experience makes me want to pay more attention on my image from now on. Doesn't matter if I'm dreaming or not.

Speaking of dreams, last night I chased a mouse that materialized in the room. That wasn't easy .. to catch it while making sure it wouldn't bite my .. hand. Both the hands and the mouse seemed rather realistic, I might say.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Necromancy?

Tried detox foot patches last night. Not sure if it was those plasters or something else, but in addition to feeling the effect, I also had some rather strange dreams.

A fairly normal dream, where I visited Mom .. or she visited me. She gave me another book, and said she has reached the stage where she's almost constantly both in as well as out of body. I was impressed and happy for her. I told her that sister is also improving very quickly and will soon be at that stage as well. Though, I wasn't as happy about my own progress. C'mon, it's years and I still haven't reached even the stage I used to be at all these years ago. Sigh.

I suspect that the author of the book might have been an old acquaintance or something. Anyway, the next dream was about a long drive to the place of an old acquaintance. Eventually got there. This guy came out of his house, greeted us and warned us not to freak out due to the strange stuff happening at his place. He was still as friendly and still looked as young as ever. Respect. But then his wife came out to greet us .. headless. Instead of her head, there was just a bump with a mole on it. She tried to speak but at some moment realized she had forgotten her head .. so she went back inside. We followed her. Inside, I happened to walk past a large bed, which hosted many bodies, all of which were partial but alive and perfectly healthy. In fact, he had his parents and grandparents there. The head of his grandpa was perhaps the oldest in the collection. It looked as if they were watching TV. His wife now had her head installed and was busy with something. I looked at what she was doing. There was a foot on the counter next to the large bed. She was cutting its toes with scissors .. so that they would regrow. None of these things were probably physical, so there was no blood or gore. No eerie feelings or anything .. as if all that was routine.
Still .. DAFUQ?!
Haven't seen anything remotely similar in any previous dreams. Nor have I recently played any video games, watched movies or anything of such. Swamped with homework and scramming for exam, that's all.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Vivid dreams

Quite vivid dreams with good recall of details.

Still fascinated by the art of others on the psychokinesis forum, I drew a bit in the dream. I was given a strange pencil, which produced colors unlike any pencil that I've seen (starting from blue and ending in red). Got a nice picture, which I hanged up somewhere. Though, right after I did that, it started raining (indoors .. happens often). The rain washed away the colors and the picture became rather dark and gloomy. Looked at it and found that it was still good, although the previous one had been considerably better. The room was very strange, though. Floor, ceiling, walls, stairways and everything was covered in blue tiles like a bathroom or something. There was also a fireplace but no chimney, which I pointed out to a friend who was trying to start the fire.

In one of the dreams, there was some guy with a demon. While focused on something, the demon tried to take him away. Being friends with the guy, I observed him and the demon and notified him at the right moment. He grabbed the demon's nose and stopped it. I found it fascinating that the demon was not frightening or bad. It just looked frightening and it was simply in its nature to harm people while they're not paying attention.

Practised some photography on landscapes .. with an unstable camera construct (all buttons and screws were loose). However, since the construct was unstable, I could reshape it to a comfortable fit in my hand.

Stepped on something that belonged to Hyena (not sure how it had gotten into my dream, though). Then stepped on another item that belonged to him. This caused an ego itch that summoned him into the dream (which seemed to have been the goal of the dream). He wasn't mad (he was, but only for the first couple of minutes), and simply asked if I've met any aliens. I didn't want to answer (would cause browsing in memories, which tends to make dreams unstable) but decided to still do so. With some effort, I thought recalled at least 3 kinds of aliens. Though, to me it seemed that all of them had merely interfered with my dreaming and were not significant encounters.

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Hipster

Friend's Mom had seen me walking the home streets, with trousers pulled on pants .. at the time when I was in Mexico. Lol .. what?

Also, a few days ago Dad asked me to send him the water meter values. While asleep, I semi-subconsciously identified with a relative, who has a scar on the nose (minor similarity to the dog bite wound). The next day I see the message, the relative had replied: "I tried but cannot do it. The meters are behind the cupboard." Err .. no .. what? So, I just replied "Ok.." At first I thought that the relative was visiting us, but later it appeared that couldn't have been the case, either.

On a more serious note, this probably means that my concentration is not sharp enough, yet (clone image has clothes in the wrong order =D). In addition, I guess I still have the issue of forgetting the context when I pop up in another body (that of a relative, for example).

Friday, September 30, 2016

Concealed worries are dangerous

:) although people personally thanked me for the presentation, apparently I still wasn't happy about my performance. ::loud thunder:: I noticed that I gradually became more tired each day after the presentation. Some tension crept up inside, which I couldn't release very easily. Food didn't digest very well and attempts to take a nap just shifted me out of body with nausea. Would've liked to visit the cultural event, but as it turned out, one had to register and pay for that beforehand. Not that I wasn't notified of that by the subconscious, but I just skipped it until I would meet my colleague .. but then just forgot about it. Oh well, went "home" and took a nap, trying to heal it. Realized that actually it was not the presentation but the lack of focused answers to the questions.

Thought it all through while watching Naruto and Sasuke battling. Feeling a lot better now, since now I have clear guidelines for improving my presentations even further.

Yup, need to get back to regular pk practice again. Progress is much more efficient when there's a direct need for it. ::loud thunder:: It's not so much pk practice for practising pk but rather for speeding up the internal battle, as one requirement for pk is the clarity of mind. It seemed like a good idea at first, to develop the clarity of mind and concentration first, and then try pk. I guess it didn't work too well for me .. got lazy :D.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Turned around

Last night I found myself in the living room at home. Decided to change the way I live this life. Created a portal in the mirror and flew in. Pitch black dark emptiness, except for tangible space and astral wind. The wind was blowing from behind me. Turned around and embraced the wind, enjoying the thickening of space around me. Soon after, I felt myself slowly descend back into the body.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Central flame

Last night, just after I visualized sending love to the dog, the central flame got ignited for a few minutes. Could hear and feel the noise from the flame. Then it slowly faded away again.

Dreams were nothing special, except that I was no longer afraid of appearing at home. Judging by prior experience I suspected I would pop back to Mexico by the morning anyway.

It's strange, really. I don't consider myself anything special. However, even with a plastered face, people generally treated me very well. Or rather, maybe a bit too well. Or perhaps it's not worth thinking about it that much .. should maybe forgive myself and just be.

In yo face

Ok.
A wet dream on the first morning at a foreign place .. again.
Other than that, the day has been nice. I guess I've already sort of adapted to the swap of timezones as well.

Today the internal map intuition seemed to have been working fine.

Though, I got bitten in the face by a nice dog. I didn't expect that. Especially after the dog had seemingly acknowledged me and licked my face.

Anyway, have been holding focus on the healing for some time now.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Mexico

A 15-hour flight with multiple transfers.

On the intercontinental flight, there was an LCD display with a tethered remote. Couldn't wait to try that. Selected flight tracking from the menu, after which, the device started loading some kind of configuration from somewhere. This got stuck on 93%. Pressed some random buttons. It started again, and got stuck at 93% once again. Anyway, the plane electrical system experienced a hiccup at some point, after which the device actually showed the flight tracking info. After some time I tried to go back to the main menu. Tried again, then again and again. Tried focusing on the system to acquire a feeling of it. Then tried again by forcing it with pk ("sudo"-like). The menu popped up but stuff looked rather glitchy. Selected "return to main menu" or somesuch, and pressed "Ok". Well .. nope. Everything went blank and didn't respond to my random combination of button presses, for perhaps an hour. Then suddenly it did. Low and behold, the familiar gif of a smiling lady booted up. But in false colors. Apparently the device was working again, except for the display colors (looked like 16 colors instead of 8-bit). Yup, probably technology from the last century.

Regardless, that was interesting geisting.

My intuition for mapless orientation in unknown surroundings didn't work, and I was mislead twice. Once in Tallinn, and once in Guadalajara.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Funeral toll?

Two nights ago, I was flying over the pasture near the summerhouse when I heard the belch of an old friend. I thought this indicated that he was ready to celebrate his birthday. I was about to shoot over the pasture with great speed, but there was someone flying just to my left and they accidentally tipped a tower of old window panes. There's almost always someone to my left, chilling around with me. This is the first time I've seen the presence actually interact with something. Typically the being is like a robot that doesn't speak, doesn't do telepathy or anything. Ok, anyway, I decided to watch it fall, then rewind and try to prevent it from happening. Yup, it shattered alright, leaving a lot of glass shards on the pasture grounds. Which is obviously not good, because there are animals grazing there. Rewound but that shattered the dream. Don't ask me why there was a tower of window panes on pasture grounds in the first place .. dream logic, right?

For a few times the ability to focus has surprised me a bit. Probably still rusty, but at least a lot better than I would have expected. A few seconds of focus and got a headache. Haven't had a short-circuit in a while .. went to bed. Two symbols.

I'm away somewhere and come back. Already from quite far I see that on the grass in front of the house, there's a square of candles with what looked like a tombstone. "That's odd, I wonder if someone has died?" Moved closer and realized those were not candles but bells. Read the sign and it said something along the lines of "Prayers for the funeral toll" (Palved hingekellale). That seemed odd. Dad walked past and reminded me of the bathroom tap that needs to be replaced (off-topic). "Yah, still haven't had the time to replace it," I said. To finish it off with random off-topic discussions and to confirm the state of awareness, I said "Bomb," and observed a deminer truck appearing through me (for the lack of proper collision avoidance). Walked out of it.

Then a trainee from work appeared just around the corner and gestured for me to follow him. He took me into a meeting room through an abstract place with a lot of doors. The abstract place was interesting .. not my creation.

Other than that, Steve Richards' "Invisibility" is awesome. It's not just about invisibility but also about alchemy, materialization and dematerialization. It describes the formation of matter, it describes the enlightenment process, the process of becoming immortal and what not.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Tree with a twist

A dream with a storm where it rained through the ceiling again. The symbol for indicating an unstable environment.

It would be awesome to be able to play with the cat by exercising psychokinesis on a toy rat. Running from the cat, squeaking and stuff.

Visited a local VR (virtual reality) meeting. Had extra 20 minutes before the event started, so I went into the park to play with the camera. Got one photo, right when I was about to leave. While going downhill, a tree caught my attention. At first it was the roots, then the trunk.

A very cool tree.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Two symbols

A dream or two last night. In one of them, I encountered the pleasant symbol of detachment: I took a bunch of electronics to a colleague, to give it away just like that. He was quite surprised. I tried to make it look like it was no big deal - that much of it wasn't really working anymore and what not .. bah.

At some point, while discussing something with a friend, I noticed a wall with a graffity on it. No big deal, right? I mean, it's a big wall and all, but it definitely caught my attention. Because the graffiti was constantly repainting itself. It consisted of a painter (who himself was painted), and a blue circle with a red arc on top. The painter put forth extra effort to ensure that the blue circle was well drawn.

A sketch of what it roughly looked like. The painter himself was less refined than the circle.


Edit: What just happened? While typing this down, somehow the tab closed and a popup with Firefox hotkeys appeared.

Today has been a strange day. A lot of stuff happened. Re-found a gift card with free money to spend (had forgotten it into my drawer at work). Also received my Nikon D3300, yay!

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

The night of flight

Probably the longest levitation dream I've had so far. Spent the whole night flying from building to building, from tree top to tree top. Chased a couple of propeller planes as well, as they crossed the sky. Didn't spot any fighter jets, though. Would've been awesome to try and chase those too :D.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Dream training

Hmm .. there's some sort of tension surfacing every now and then, out of small things.

Focused on the Udana for a moment, as described in Steve Richard's "Levitation". The results were easy to recognize. Several jolts in consciousness today, in addition to the feeling of consciousness shifting.

With the Udana being seated in the throat, obviously some throat chakra type challenges popped up today as well. One of the lecturers (a colleague) asked me to describe some processes that I didn't understand very well. So, I had to improvise without being afraid of being wrong. Luckily I had practised just that in the only dream I had last night. Could've done better but it went quite okay anyway, I guess.

Steve Richard lit the path of pk for enlightenment very well, by providing a good overview of the terminology. This helped me realize that without pk I would probably have a hard time with it. For years, I kind of hoped that there wouldn't be a difference but it seems that pk practice is the easiest way to transcendental awareness or samadhi.

Also, one of the issues that I encountered last time was lack of desire. I no longer had any. Though, without any desires it's somewhat more difficult to progress. This time I ought to be wary of the stage without desires.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Puzzle bits self-assembling

Continued reading Steve Richards' "Levitation". Reinitializing some old exercises that I used to do .. which are coincidentally also considered important for levitation practises. Some jolts of consciousness. Re-realized the simplicity of the principle behind siddhis and concentration.

Broke some equipment at work, a couple of days ago. Something that's not supposed to happen in such a way. Though, I was amazed at how much I could conclude from the observations. Noticed how there were signals that it would break but some info was missing and the whole puzzle didn't fit together until it did. Thus, it had to break.

Strange dreams. Two uncles, with whom we discussed things. One of them was an idol for me when I was little. The other uncle was little .. I was confused if it was his son or if it was him .. reincarnation? They did something with one of the tractors. Then they piled firewood on the rear end of the tractor and lit it. I was very confused about this - an unexpected extra-witchy ritual or whatnot.

One day I just popped up at the VR lab, looked around, acting all familiar and asked people what they were working on. I like to act as if everyone were an old friend of mine (as it often turns out that's the case - Estonia is small). Met the guy who was researching lucid dreaming and VR. Mentioned OBEs and VR. He showed remote interest, but much like the other people there .. seemed to be confused about why the hell I'm there at such a random time, for no apparent reason (meh just had time to spend). Well met. Met him again today at the ESA public discussion event. Nice :). Well, met a lot of other interesting people there.

Apparently I also had a fan at the event, who managed to convince me that spacetech and gamedev would start to merge sometime soon. So that eventually I wouldn't have to leave one to work on the other. This left me wondering about the third, tho - ZPE. Well, the third one I think I saw on the list of proposed answers to the ESA questions. Ambiguously stated, just like it would have to be, but it was there.:3

Moreover, the discussion event seemed to have reflected the thoughts that popped up on a plane right after returning from the Alpbach summer school. The thoughts that mankind should come up with a list of potential goals for the mankind. It was very good to see ESA working towards the same thing in roughly the same way I had also envisioned it.

Hmm .. just after the event some kind of a girl made a facebook friend request. Unrelated, it seems, as she asked whether I would like make acquaintance. Figured she's probably one of those clicking on random accounts hoping for a date. With slight disgust, I said NO, but then realized I'm clearly biased in that regard. Why not a friend? I wouldn't treat friends like that, would I? For one, the girl did not seem like a typical bot. Based on her profile pic, she looked as if from a rough family. Even worse for me to treat her like scum. Sorry and thank you for the lesson.

Ah, remembered that yesterday I tried trataka on the mirror again for a minute or less. For a second, I saw a white orb floating about 2-3 cm above the head in reflection. While seeing that, I also heard a low-frequency humming. Didn't hear that before nor after the sight.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Plot twist

Experienced a plot twist two days ago, when I had a dream where I was worried about some people. One of them looked at me and said: "You know, sometimes I don't understand at all, why you do the things you do." Realized the irony of the previous post "Old lady with a functional body". Now I was the old lady, acting exactly the same way. No wiser.

Remembered a night when through sleep I semi-subconsciously made a sound exactly like the cat does. Just for the record.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Old lady with a functional body

Some of the last dreams today morning..

I was minding my own business, packing stuff to go back (about time for the morning alarm). Suddenly I sense someone behind me, just over my right shoulder. I look there and I see nothing. Knowing there must be someone there because I feel them, I adjusted my awareness. Sure enough, an old lady became visible. So, I listened to what she had to say. Couldn't really remember all of that, and it didn't actually make too much sense, either. She was worried about all sorts of people. At some point she left .. and then showed up at the doorway just a minute later. She was worried again. Told her: "Instead of constantly worrying about the bodies of others, return to check the status of your own body." In a minute, she was back again, crying from both sadness and relief. I didn't get why she still came back, but she said she hadn't returned for a long time and that the body was still more-or-less habitable (ears and eyes had degraded a lot, though). She seemed happy.

That was quite unlike any other dreams that I've had.

Still tired.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Old barnhouse

An interesting combo of OBE and LD elements.

I appeared at the door of the old barnhouse. Everything was in this dark blue haze, which I've taken as a sign for OBE. I focused more on being there, and the blue haze disappeared. It was no longer night. Opened the door .. or at least tried to. It took me a lot of fiddling with it, to get it open before me and closed behind me. Inside, I moved around and observed the numerous entities that were chilling around. Some of them produced loud non-physical sounds that I could hear inside me.

At some moment, I left the barnhouse (teleported, I guess) and found myself among a few other people. Thinking I was without a proper body, I expected that the people wouldn't see me. Though, they seemed to have .. to some degree at least.

In the last dream I was in the attic somewhere. The attic floor was slowly falling apart. However, there was an issue with some kind of oil spill in the attic. This oil spill had to be resolved before any of it drips down. Couldn't interact with the oil nor with the attic floor .. so couldn't do much about it. Eventually it turned out that as the attic floor degraded, the oil vanished instead of dripping down.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

GameJam

Participated at Ludum Dare 36 with a random team. An awesome experience.

During the event, I couldn't sleep more than 4 hours per night. That's because I slept at home and the cat was berserk. Still, I'm amazed that I managed to remain focused for more than two days. Also, I gained self-confidence after witnessing that actually nothing is difficult. There was something about the experience there, which has almost always haunted me - putting forth a lot of effort without people appreciating or acknowledging it. On the other hand, it's good for reminding me that I shouldn't be doing things for the enjoyment of others, but so that I would enjoy it. Sorry @ the rest of the team - you were awesome and would have deserved a lot better!

Edit: The sound and music guy of our team is like 15 years old music producer with perhaps about a hundred masterpieces more intricate than my whole playlist.

After that prolonged focus, it's difficult to return to other stuff. My mind is still in that classroom full of computers, monitors, tablets .. with the muzak and visuals. :) Focusing back on the life is an additional practice of concentration.

As the event was organized by some old friends and acquaintances, I also discussed the VR lab topic. Apparently the lab even hosts a lucid dreamer working on a VR project.

"When life gets harder you must've just leveled up," says a poster on the wall right next to the entrance of the 3d graphics lab where we developed the games.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Pff girls

Back in town.

While painting the walls at aunt's, she asked if I've found a girl yet. When I said "No, I don't plan to," she preached about the pros of creating a family and having children. This initiated some kind of an internal battle in my mind, due to which my focus has been a bit foggy recently.

The thing is, I have nothing against finding a girlfriend (a wild witch whom I wouldn't want to marry no matter what?). I love kids (perhaps could adopt some?). But the regression into full materialism with 20 years of delay in spiritual development .. why would one desire that? Sure, living with a wife and raising kids is a lesson on its own but it's a lesson one gets on every reincarnation, right? However, spiritual enlightenment would be a lesson one gets once in thousands of lifetimes. Thus, I wonder what this internal battle is about. The case is supposed to be closed already. The fact that my focus became foggy because of that, means that there's something there that I'm being ignorant about.

Anyway, took up reading Steve Richards' "Levitation" on the bus. Love at first few paragraphs. Socialized with the book instead of chatting to the pretty girl sitting next to me. Perhaps that's the ignorance .. which I'm somewhat proud of. Sigh. Uhm .. a good example of the dead-end pattern of thoughts, which always arrive at the same topic. The book seems awesome. The author referenced a lot of levitation cases and a few over-unity engineers that I hadn't heard / read about before. He also explained Einstein's theory on gravity fields in a way that had me realize something about the simplicity of anti-gravity and levitation.

With focus on the chakras above the head, eventually the space thickens and starts to pull the body upward. With focus on another chakra within the body, the space thickens there, and it becomes possible to push or pull the body by moving the thick egg.

Edit: Sorry, I guess the post ended up a bit sexist.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

large machine

Realized something obvious again. The similarity between my home environment in the dreams, and the healing room that the author described in the Superman project. Background story:

Had a dream this morning, where I was just in front of the front gate of the summerhouse. I was busy tinkering with some awesome tech that I had gotten from somewhere (or built myself, dunno). It was in a cylinder at the back of a truck. Used that to heal &/ enhance myself. It was very effective, but for some odd reason each time I used it, some kind of an entity dropped into my realm. This strange machine appeared instantaneously each time I attempted to heal. Each time it deployed a rover, which circled around the truck, drawing me into the corner. Once cornered, the machine scanned me and disappeared. This happened three times, each time its behaviour was identical (thus the assumption that it's a machine). I did not enjoy being scanned by this thing .. not in the least. Perhaps because I felt totally powerless. I had absolutely no shields, no rooms to close myself into, and this machine just popped into the most sacred sanctuary without any warning. The last time I hid into the cylinder, realizing that's not a viable solution, either.

Woke up and realized the similarity with the Superman project. Today I've felt quite different from the previous days. Somehow it's a lot easier to focus. While driving, I felt the surroundings better than usual. At times I picked up an apple and threw it. Surprisingly, I was able to hit small openings very easily from mid-range (10 - 20 m). Large distances were still inaccurate, though. Practised standing and walking on hands and driving with a monowheel. The learning speed surprised me as well.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Flip 180

Woke up, flipped in the bed. My head was where I had had my feet, and vice versa. Ok, I think this has happened to me once before. However, this time also the pillow had changed its place. Also, the sheets and the blanket were not curled up, which I would expect to happen when I would turn around in sleep. As I went to bed last night, I did think of sleeping the other way around sometime, for change. Didn't expect that to happen during the night, though =D.

So much rain. I've been able to change that by working on my emotional state. However, so far all the attempts have been temporary. It has started raining again at night or during the next day. Also, at work it's a mess. I thought my colleagues would be able to finish with the documentation on their own (just a few minor updates). Apparently not. All those delays were already embarrassing. Sigh. I'm on vacation, so what does having such an experience mean to me (hinting at uncle's suggestion from a couple of weeks ago)? That's exactly why I'm on vacation in the first place, to overcome the stress and tension of workaholicism. It's not about quickly doing the job before becoming stressed (which I've been doing for years). It's about changing the attitude so that there would be no stress even when I'm not supposed to be doing work.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Indoors vs. outdoors

A night indoors. And since it was a rainy day, then I also spent the day indoors.

Since I was home alone, I had to cook. A few hours of meditative work. I thought it was quite good (really enjoyed the output).

When it stopped raining in the evening, I went outside and .. it was awesome. Everything felt lovely: the air, the trees, the grass that I had cut a couple of days ago. So I spent some time wallowing around :D. Nah, just laid there on the grass, and tried walking on hands which didn't work too well but was fun anyway.

Second night indoors. Thunder and lightning. The dog kept banging the doors and crawling onto the feet (it's heavy, so it hurts). Tried grounding the dog's fear and nervousness.

Again, it feels so mysterious and powerful outside.

All in all, sleeping in the nature makes a great difference. :)

Friday, August 12, 2016

Meteor shower

Witnessed a couple of meteors, then a third last night. Used the chance to make wishes, because why not? Just after entering the hammock-tent, I also saw a flash of light through the fabric. Shrugged, and made a fourth wish.

Man that was a seriously cold summer night (very moist and 10 *C or below that). Couldn't sleep too well. Had an awkward dream in the morning. Well, typically when I've caught cold, I've leaked jing. This night I think I had enough control over that. The dream was about that.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

OBE-like dreams

Took a nap during the day, while focused on the central channel without associating it to the body. Had pretty clear dreams. Thought of dream-training and started practising parkour in the town somewhere. While performing a somersault over a 4-lane road with a lot of traffic, I re-realized that I can probably fly. Popped into another environment (a lab of some sort), where I practised levitation ... through the doors. I took a piece of electronics and a few screws with me, which I tried to teleport to home. The teleportation seemed to have been successful, after which I ended up tailing an interesting person. It was the cloud of consciousness of someone (else). In turn, this consciousness was following another person. So, there was a train of three people, out of which two were "ghosts". At the head of the train, there was a man with a coat and glasses walking in front of a house, at around sunset (I guess). He looked stylish, and he was spiritually advanced as well. Suddenly, the second person in the train flared himself by condensing into human form. He was very fluent at this, as if he'd practised that for years.

Other than that, I've been growing nervous during the past few days. Need to work on a conference proceeding. There's still about 3 weeks left until the deadline.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Parkinson

Grandpa has Parkinson's disease and sometimes sees hallucinations. One day he asked me: "I see the kitchen door handle moving, can you see it too?" Me: "No, it's not moving."

To me it seems that his world is out of his control and gradually collapsing, similarly to what happened to Shun in Shinsekai Yori. Grandpa keeps pushing his willpower to realign his world with that of others. This way he temporarily regains his clarity and ability to speak clearly.

Holy water in yo face

Actually, before dad's concert, there was another concert at the local church. Grandma had told me to wash my face with water that has silver in it, in order to conquer the pesky blemishes. The next day at end of the event at the church, the pastor sprayed the crowd with holy water. ::splat:: and my face was dripping. Luckily my face didn't melt, so I guess I'm not very evil after all. Anyway, I considered this incident convenient, since my face was automagically washed with silver water so that I no longer had to. To be honest, silver water actually seems to have helped a bit.

I guess I've grown used to sleeping in the hammock. Though, with the stormy weather recently, it's occasionally become a bit cold in there.

Had an interesting dream today morning. I was at the fields somewhere in the Alps, I guess. A beautiful scenery with all the details, except for the fact that I knew it was just a simulation. In the simulation, I had to take care of the water and wind. I noticed an inconsistency in the simulation - I was certain it was a computer simulation with limited rendering capabilities but it sure did not look like one. For example, in one direction there was a forest where there should've been the edge of the map. In another direction, there was a river, then some trees and several mountains. At some moment, dad showed up. I showed him around, and both of us took a hike up one of the mountains. While at it, the dream lost a lot of details and quality, I think.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Aliens reborn on Earth

Visited grandma yesterday. Enjoyed a long discussion about consciousness, "soul dynamics" and reincarnation. She wanted me to see a TV show about UFOs and astral travel. Well .. while listening to dad's concert, I missed the show.

At around the time when the UFO show started on TV, we were on our way back from the concert and on our way towards the shop. Roughly at that time we spotted something with a metallic reflection hovering in the sky above the trees. By the time we turned into the parking lot of the shop (about a minute or two later), the object was gone. I thought it was a drone, except for the peculiar synchronicity to the TV show.

Watched the rerun of the episode, only to find that it contained nothing new. They featured Graham Nicholls a lot, whom I had previously read about in the "Consciousness Beyond the Body" by Alexander De Foe.

Recently I watched an interview with a Martian reincarnate:
http://simplecapacity.com/2016/05/boriska-boy-mars-says-humans-live-eternally/

They had some sort of stones that captured souls and released them for rebirth once broken.

Friday, August 5, 2016

Hammock tent

Sleeping in the hammock tent seems like a challenge. So far I haven't managed to fall asleep before sunrise. Sleeping alone makes all the muscles ache. There's pretty much no comfortable position for sleeping more than a few hours, and changing positions takes muscles.

On the other hand, just a few hours of sleep each morning have been enough to feel fresh and powerful throughout the next day. Sleeping in fresh air works miracles.

A couple of nights ago I wandered around the pasture / woods and noticed something white in my peripheral vision. Curious, I went to check it out. Right when I reached the exact spot, sister called me. A normal call .. triggered by a .. touchplate?

Dunno, the next night I went to the hammock a bit late. It was quite dark outside. I asked around if anyone had a flashlight or headlamp or somesuch. Well .. nope. Shrugged and went there anyway. I acted out of intuition and enjoyed the strange movements that I performed every now and then, to dodge tree branches. Bumped into sleeping cows, then took a detour to look .. uh .. normal to them.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Hammock-tent

Arrived at the summerhouse. I was briefed that grandpa hallucinates and we should make sure we won't wake him at night. He's reliving his past. With noise coming from other rooms at night, he sometimes gets paranoid about agents coming to take him away.

So, me and Kaspar set up the hammock-tent at night. Tried to sleep there (first time), but didn't manage to. For most of the time, I simply observed the lightning flashes and thunder all around the village.
 Random geisting. A cousin dropped a mug, which triggered the switch-on of the TV. I had taken a two-hour nap on the couch in the living room, and thought of going to a proper bed for a longer nap. There was a laptop playing radio channel in the bedroom. I thought the radio might be annoying. At that very moment, the radio application started throwing errors periodically. That familiar Windows error message sound. I changed my mind, and the radio started working again.

Today we set up the hammock-tent properly, at the sea.

Congestion of time

Finished work yesterday evening. Called uncle to see if he's going to Saaremaa, as I figured I might be late for the only bus in the evening. Luckily he said he was going just a couple of hours after the bus. He even had a free seat and plenty of space for luggage. Nice timing.

While on the way, we discussed politics (recently it's all just a big mess) and the global goals of mankind. The discussion followed on the nature of consciousness. Uncle mentioned having had a lot of dreams where he has asked questions and received deep answers.

At some point I asked the question that has been bugging me for the past few months:
  • Once I've worked on something for some time, I get to a level where I have a lot of different tasks to do, many of which need to be done simultaneously. Although a meditative state can easily be achieved while deeply focused on a single task for long enough, it seems difficult to achieve while having to focus on a lot of different tasks simultaneously. It's especially difficult when the time has become so fragmented that it's impossible to properly finish any of the tasks. So far the only idea I've had is to become so efficient that I can still get away with focusing on them one by one.
  • Surely yoga masters who have integrated their practices deep into their everyday life must have encountered the same issue. 
  • How do yoga masters handle congestion of time (assuming that it can be called that way)?
Uncle thought for a few minutes, and said:
  • Yoga masters would probably see it differently. They would contemplate about what it means to experience that.
I thanked him for his advice, as it answered the question.

He often cited "Lingvistiline mets" by Valdur Mikita, a semiotician. I thought I wouldn't have the time to read it. Though, while crossing the sea with the ferry, I did have enough time to open the book from a random page and read a few pages. It was amazing. It answered a question I had forgotten I even had:
  • Why am I in Estonia where there are no pyramids, no temples or ancient ruins of any sort? There's no hidden knowledge here.
According to the book, there's a lot of hidden knowledge in the forests and bogs of Estonia. The nature has remained more-or-less untouched since the Ice Age, and some of it probably predates the Ice Age. The author proposed the idea of tasking the local shamans and witches with uncovering the hidden knowledge and building a sort of consciousness accelerator into the ancient times.

That's another potential global goal for mankind: To uncover our forgotten past.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Holiday

Related to the "Goals" post, one of the goals of mankind could also be
  • Evolve to adapt to any environment and elegantly resolve any situation.

Yay, I'm officially on a holiday now and I can visit the summerhouse again. Yesterday I enjoyed a workday, knowing that I'm officially on holiday anyway. Nerd.

Slept a lot on Saturday, went to bed early, took the "vampire sleeping pose" and started releasing tension from the body, while maintaining focus on the crown. This resulted in about 10 moments of clarity per hour. Tried getting out of body during a few of these, but as the body had not fallen asleep properly, it didn't work too well. Tried levitating out of body as well, but that didn't work either. Nevertheless felt really fresh the next morning.

Thought of applying the same exercise last night. However, I had worked late, so I fell asleep in the "vampire sleeping pose". Typically I can't sleep in that pose. Woke exhausted today morning, with a rainy weather. Even when going to bed late, it's necessary to meditate before falling asleep.

Oh, I was wondering why the head seemed thick and why the teeth were hurting a bit. Apparently one of the wisdom teeth has come through the gums.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Hmm .. upgrades?

"Consciousness Beyond the Body" by Alexander De Foe has been a great inspiration. In addition, I'm still inspired by the Superman Project that I read 1.5 years ago.

I want to achieve at least 1 OBE per night, and use that to upgrade the body, mind and spirit. The idea is to optimize all the tools to performing any tasks or situations that may come up. This is very similar to setting off for a hike - packing all that's needed, and ensuring that they are quick and easy to access.

A few potential upgrades I'm looking forward to:
  • Unearthly concentration skills.
  • Some awsum presentation skills.
  • Very high agility. Body that doesn't run out of breath.
  • Reducing sleep time to a few hours of time-compressed OBE.
Probably a lot more.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Goals

After an inspiring, enlightening, exhausting summer school experience in the Alps, I realized that mankind still lacks common goals. How can we work together if there are no goals to motivate and unite us?

First thoughts on this.

Scientific minds might enjoy the following goal for the mankind:
  • Figure out how the universe works.
    [Would actually need an infinite task, the infinity of which would be obvious. However, our universe might be finite. I believe the task needs to be infinite because mankind is able to tackle challenges dealing infinity.]
In order to achieve this, the following must hold:
  • The goal is achieved when it is possible to predict all occurring phenomena with absolute accuracy.
    [Hmm .. but this makes it possible for people to become ignorant of phenomena that cannot be predicted yet.]
  • New findings must spread throughout mankind as quickly as possible.
    [Freedom of information]
    [Internet]
  • Mankind is diverse (multiple races, multiple religions, multiple patterns of thought, multiple fields of research, etc.). The diversity must be maintained, since it enables us to efficiently observe and interpret phenomena from many perspectives simultaneously.
    [The whole diversity working for one goal]

But first of all, the mankind needs to maintain its existence, since only then would global goals make any sense. Maintaining existence can be divided into the following (bullet-)points:
  • Mankind must be aware of its existence as mankind.
    [One civilization on a small planet within the vast cosmos.]
  • Mankind must maintain its environment, which is vital for its existence.
    [Air, water, plants, animals..]
I would urge anyone to come up with other possible objectives for mankind, together with the requirements that must be fulfilled to reach the objectives.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Graveyard festivity

On the weekend I joined grandparents for a visit to the graveyard in another town (about 2 hours of driving). Met Mom, too. We then left the graveyard to participate at a commemoration event. It rained and flashed lightning ::lightning flash and a clash of thunder while typing this::. It only rained during the event. Once the event had finished, the sky cleared up again.

Noticed a watermill (or something similar) at a distance. Played with that, rotating it in one direction, then in the opposite direction and so on. There was also a candle that flickered, so I played with the candle, too. Made it flicker a lot, then made it become so quiet that I couldn't see it anymore. I don't think it was extinguished, it just wasn't visible from that angle.

We heard that there had been a hail storm at the capital (grandparents' place). Bean-sized hail drops and a serious flood. Although I don't feel like being responsible for the weather, it is kind of strange. There has been rain and thunder wherever I've gone .. for at least a month (same issue in the Netherlands).

I'm writing this from Austria and guess what - it's lightning and rain. The hosts asked if we had brought rainy weather with us.


On a different note, the rain at commemoration event might have been engineered from a semi-subconscious state. The night before I was in a very deep state of sleep. At some moment I felt a sudden jolt in energetics and woke up to determine what I had done wrong. There was an argument between sister and grandfather about sister playing violin at the event. The rain next day sort of eased the tension there.

Monday, July 4, 2016

..

Yesterday I started to replay Life Is Strange. Then suddenly an awesome storm broke loose. Haven't seen such a storm for years.

Owltwelve committed an inspiring post about a tulpa that he uses to enhance his awareness and OBE. Imagined creating something similar. A creature that would "watchdog" my awareness and gently remind it to me when I fall asleep too deep.

Spiritually tired. In other words, so tired that the mind and body default to a meditative state.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Mystery girl

The previous post lacked space for this detail. Noticed a peculiar young couple while waiting for the nightly bus from home town to the capital airport. A young guy in his 20s with a young girl. The guy seemed normal, perhaps a bit "experienced" for his age. The girl did not seem normal:
  • Very shy or afraid of other people surrounding them.
  • Albinism?
  • I couldn't determine her age.
  • I couldn't determine their language (they only whispered silently).
  • Fairly fresh tattoo on her left thigh.
  • Inhumanly attractive.
  • Couldn't pick up any emotions or thoughts from the girl (psychic?).
Moreover, the girl seemed to have reacted to my attempts at detecting emotions or thoughts. It could be that she seemed alien due to me being unable to read her. Typically humans have a set of common memories or characteristics from growing in the community. She either didn't or I failed to sense it. This got me exceptionally curious.

I've probably read too much fiction with conspiracy theories but I started to wonder if the girl has escaped from some underground lab from somewhere .. or if she has been treated as a slave or somesuch. Or maybe an alien human hybrid of sorts. Fun to wonder about but most likely too far-fetched.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Emphasis on intuition

The trip


The Netherlands trip was interesting. I had it so that I would heavily rely on intuition. No GPS, no maps, no compass. Eventually it turned out I had just doubted a bit too much .. and zig-zagged around the correct route :D.

AirBnb host was outstanding. Very caring and helpful. In addition, really luxurious room at very low price. Though, there was a language barrier and it got me confused that she spoke a mixture of Dutch, German, English. So, I sometimes responded in German, sometimes in English .. and sometimes in whatever I had learned of Dutch. It was easier to understand what she meant than it was to respond so that she would be certain she got it correct. A practice of telepathy .. neat. The host also has a dog (which seems to be the case for almost everyone in Katwijk). At first, the dog disapproved my presence, and barked at me each time we met. So I sat down next to the dog and attuned to its level via empathy, after which the dog never barked at me again.

Ambient

Netherlands is really beautiful but I noticed that there is something wrong. Some say it's the weather that easily causes depression. However, at least at the apartment it seemed as if there were a source of darkness somewhere underneath. A knot of old experiences and memories, still lingering there. This seemed like a general issue. Shifted the focus a little, which seemed to have helped a bit. I was a bit amazed at the chasm between what people feel and what they act. But then again, my own life has been a performance as well.

Back

While on my way back, I forgot to show the public transportation card to the reader. Remembered that while standing in check-in queue, and decided not to go back (priorities must always be in-check). Even though I had like 2.5 hours until departure, I didn't want to spend the 15 min in order to save the card. First tried the self-check-in booth. It told me to ask the check-in table from an agent. Did that: desk 8. Stood the line at 8 (took around 30 min), then they told me to go to check-in desk 18, instead. Went there. Desk 18 was closed. Based on intuition, I went to desk 20 (skipped 19) for asking help. As it turned out, desk 20 was the correct desk. Ok, I had lost around 30 min .. no big deal. At some moment I realized that the line progresses very slowly. Moreover, the client service representatives left one by one, without replacement. Finally got the ticket, ran to pay for extra baggage and then ran to the gate. Some other people from the long check-in queue helped me a few times :). Enjoyed running through the crowd at such speed for such a distance. Made it and felt very good. Though, apparently the baggage didn't make it on this flight. Had I spent the extra 15 min on the public transportation card, I might have missed the flight. This whole incident made me very happy.

On the bus back home, I watched "The Maze Runner". It resonated. Although it has quite serious plot holes and logic flaws, it's a very inspiring movie.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Hike

It has been a while.

Enjoyed a 2.5 days hike through bogs and climbed a cliff as well. Very windy and quite a bit of rain. But it was really good and soothing. During the hike, I met two people with somewhat common interests. Coming back to work with all the deadlines poking at me .. that was harsh, though. Then found that some of the tests need to be redone and need to work through the holiday, then fly to Netherlands for a few days, to finish some of the tests. In addition to that, there are also deadlines on another project. Excited to see how I'm going to pull it off.

~-.

Interesting a day(s). Many leaps of faith, to get stuff done that should not be rationally possible in such a timeline. Still managed to enjoy a couple of evenings of holidays as well. Ok, shall pack and board the bus to the airport.

Monday, June 13, 2016

Small OBE

.. a few minutes before the alarm. Something seemed to be moving underneath the mattress. Must be the cat again, I thought. Err .. wait, it's not supposed to be in my room. This got me curious, so I listened attentively. The noise and vibrations quickly progressed from one corner of the mattress to the opposite corner. I recognized the moment I was free and climbed out before I would snap back. Eyesight was awful .. everything looked similar to "Waking Life" (mayhaps because I watched it on Saturday). However, tactile sense was very vivid. Typical procedure. Swept across the floor with hands before I stood up from the bed. I could feel all the grooves in the floor pattern. Then flew through the balcony door and balcony window. A lovely sunny morning. At about 60 m, I turned around, looked back and poofed back into the body. Found it mildly interesting that after returning, I was seeing a circular afterimage with a diameter that I considered a bit too small for the sun.

Felt well in tune with the environment today.

Commuting read


Read Graham Nicholls' section 7 in "Consciousness Beyond the Body - Evidence and Reflections" (Alexander De Foe). Graham admitted that he spends a lot of time in Estonia. Nice. Would be cool to meet him. First in OBE, then IRL, perhaps =)

Anyway, it's a very good book. Hector Durville's calcium sulphide screens caught my attention as well. Would be cool to set up screens in the room, with RPi cameras that would trigger when activity is detected on the screens. Though, dedicated sensor and filter I would fancy more. Would be direct feedback on OBE and PK progress. This was in reference to Monroe's polaroid that picked up faint clouds of consciousness. No wonder Max Caulfield loved polaroid cameras so much :D.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Best coffee

Messed with some kind of bureaucracy at night. Smeared a lot of papers with ink. Then somebody suddenly brought a cup of coffee. A friend's Mom, I think. "The coffee must be good," I thought, while struggling to lift the cup and hold it there. Took a few sips. With each sip, the coffee became even better. Eventually I found myself sitting at a fancy coffee restaurant. The coffee was mild (I don't like strong coffee) and had a subtle taste of pine and some herbs. The best coffee I've ever had. Wanted to make sure I wouldn't leave without paying, but accidentally woke up before I managed to.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Odd


A lot of strange coincidences and things manifesting. At the moment I still don't see the full picture yet, but some of the pieces are gradually coming together.

An odd number of summer trainees

Yesterday a cute asian student popped up at the observatory. There were a lot of bright sparkles popping up around her, which caught my attention. Chemistry? Very odd, because previously no-one has showed up that randomly and asked for an internship. Especially because the place is quite a distance from the town and it doesn't really have any background in chemistry. Thanks to synchronicity, found a job for her to work on.

I accidentally build a shelf


And it was working. Today there were a lot of forgotten meetings where I popped up thanks to synchronicity. Between all the meetings, I "accidentally" also got the job done I had planned for today .. in addition to all the bureaucracy overhead.

Misc

Last night I went to bed early. Suddenly something happened and the mind went blank. Some kind of an external noise stopped, after which I spent a while wondering what just happened. It was as if the noise preoccupied the mind somehow, making it difficult to focus or think clearly. Strange but I have experienced this before.

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Malta

I wasn't too happy about my presentation performance at the conference, though.
Nevertheless, traveling always boosts spiritual development, which I enjoy a lot.

The first night at the foreign place it seemed as if there were many entities moving around the place. My bed was at the window and between two doors, so there was a lot of flow through the area. I tried to maintain a somewhat humble attitude. It seemed to have worked for the first night - the entities were protective. Some time later, they turned into demons or something. My own thought patterns were biting me at every corner :).

There was an exceptionally chill dude at the conference. He was usually dressed in random and seemed to have been free from any obstructive thought patterns. A millionaire because his company makes the world's best products in a niche market that's quickly growing more popular. For years, many others have tried but he is still leading the market because his products are still better. Very inspiring.

Inspired, I took out some trash in the dreams. Realized a visualization with pitch black emptiness surrounding a pure consciousness. Some trash still remained, though, at quite a distance from the consciousness. Managed to use this visualization twice, after which it lost its power.

One evening there was someone flying around with a helicopter, circling around (probably around the place where the conference took place) before they flew straight over our apartment at very low altitude. Joking, I said it's probably that chill dude. Googled him and indeed, it seems he's also a pilot.

Would have wanted to visit the megalith temples but barely had any free time to look around. Well, I guess the temples will stay there even when I won't visit them. Small absurd tricks like that, to make it easier for the mind to let go of something that it has grown attached to.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Impromptu

Had an inspiring chat with Owltwelve last night.
Instead of enjoying awesome dreams, I messed with work stuff while asleep.

Today has been a rather strange day. Uncommon situations that left me a bit surprised about my impromptu performance and improvisation. Quite a bit of unexpected behaviour from myself. It's almost as if some of the personas from the dreams were expressed in this reality.

Edit: Ah, remembered that today morning I woke on the strange sound of a bird. A bird that sounded like human.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Subtle

intentions and detachment while relaxed. This made it a lot easier to feel the surroundings. Practised this while chatting with sister yesterday evening. Saw many barely noticeable shadows moving across planar surfaces. Also saw those sparkles that form in peoples' (and animals') auras. Used to practice this a lot while chatting with family a few years ago. Back then this eventually developed into a meditative state while speaking.

Meditative state has indeed been more easily accessible recently.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Door wide open

Nothing parasuperhyperdupernatural.

Just a familiar symbol in the last dream today morning. I was about to leave but found the door wide open. All sorts of potential uninvited guests started listing through my mind. Decided to go and close the door. Or at least try, because the lock did not work. Father also appeared to check what was wrong with the door (a nice metal door, by the way). He disassembled it and it became obvious that the door was nothing but false security - a slight nudge and it's open. Still tried to fix it somehow but the more I tried, the weaker and more fragile the locking system became. At least I was glad that I had taken the cat for a "stroll" so that he wasn't too enthusiastic about planning his escape. At least, not yet.

"stroll," because it has been more like dragging the cat around on a leash. The poor thing is terrified. A great parallel to my own fears and preconceptions in the astral.

Although the illness has passed, today morning I woke up with diarrhea. There were no problems during the day. Then in the evening I felt like absorbing some dairy products. Bam, another shortcut to the altar of relief. Today I've been trying to release the grasp on the tension that semi-subconsciously forms in the stomach or abdomen.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Mysteries, theories

Was ill

A few days ago I thought about taking a sweater or a fleece jacket. Realized that all of them were enqueued for washing. Didn't have time to process the queue, so I decided to try and survive without. Well .. caught cold. Noticed these:
  • There was a distinct "smell" or "substance" throughout the body, which seemed disgusting (in addition to clogging the system and hampering the functionality of the organs, obviously).
  • The next morning the body was covered in a white aura .. just like a blanket of snow, which obstructed the internal light. Transformed the snow into a golden aura (I've noticed that for me the two are quite similar and it's easy to transform between them).
  • Realized that illness can serve as a stepping stone towards increased love and empathy. Also realized that I've used this many times already.
With the eyes watering and head dizzy, couldn't do long sessions at the laptop. So, just for fun I improved my skills in bash scripting, PHP and SQLite .. a quick web server that performs statistics on the guys brute-forcing my SSH port. Eventually I still remapped the port via iptables (now it's all quiet). Relaxing hobbies =D.

Mysteries

Via reddit, I found a dark web link that answered my curiosity:
https://www.reddit.com/r/deepwebpics/comments/30dd2n/some_strange_website/

An interesting page, though, it doesn't look quite right. A lot of effort has been put into the diagrams (read: puzzles). These puzzles look very much like how extraterrestrials would logically convey information (similar to what father has described in his abduction stories, also similar to crop circles). Except that it seems these puzzles aren't info-packed efficiently and they seem to have factual errors. So, don't take it too seriously. Nevertheless, the exercises are inspiring.

Started noticing very commonplace phenomena, but from a bit different perspective.

For example, during lunch I realized that as I pressed the spoon against the surface of the soup, the oil bubbles moved out and became thicker. However, the oil bubbles did not seem to have merged. Surface tension of water .. and water is not compressible. You know, maybe something similar would work for space-time, too?

One morning I noticed that lamp post shadows were more refined near the base and more blurry at the distance. Realized one can measure the optical properties of air. Or acquire rough estimates for the height of objects (different distance that light travels through the medium). There are a lot of parameters that need to be taken into account to get any reasonable accuracy, though.

In regards to the first puzzle, I realized the connection between the bubble tree hierarchy (mentioned it briefly in this post: clicky) and hyperdimensional nature of the universe. The diagram also highlights the power of two in cell multiplication.



The second puzzle is a bit strange. Or maybe I've missed the point. Anyway, 432 Hz is a multiple of 8 Hz, which is considered close-enough to the Schumann resonance frequency of 7.83 Hz. For some reason, I remember it being closer to 7.3 Hz .. dunno. Anyway, it's as if 432 Hz is treated as half-wavelength and then there's this triangle at 3.5 wavelength. At first I thought it might indicate how the root chakra is related to Schumann resonant frequency .. but the triangle should then be upside down. And why is the triangle sandwiched between two waves of opposite phase? And why is the diagram symmetric around the triangle?

There are many more on the onion, which you can find via the reddit link.

OBE

Also had a brief OBE. Noticed the moment when the body fell asleep and let go. Flew out and landed on the floor. I was a bit blurry and realized I had perhaps landed too close to the mirror. Scary. Jumped away but the experience had already destabilized somewhat.