Back

Now that I'm back to pk practice again, I feel somewhat sick. It has been a while (more than a week) since directing intense psi flows through the body. Eating a lot might also have an impact on this psionic hangover.

I've noticed spontaneous moments of blank mind again. These haven't lasted longer than maybe 10 minutes so far.

Attempted push / pull on a CD case. The feeling of it was pretty real, though, ego kept stepping in every once in a while. Got it to twitch a little, but no falling over yet.

Although visualizing myself flying through the balcony door makes it snap pretty loud, the same method doesn't seem to help much with pushing or rolling stuff.

Something fell behind the table, when I looked at it, the feeling of lifting popped up. I guess I'll leave it there, until I manage to levitate it up with passive pk.

There were a couple of mosquitoes in the kitchen. Formed a shield when they were flying towards me. They bounced off of these invisible barriers.

Oof, it's hot outside .. 35 *C in the sun.

It turned out that the guy whom I had been unofficially supervising, he didn't graduate. So, it's Fail on my team coordination skills. I guess I turned out the same way as my own supervisor. Well, the next time I'll be more harsh, set firm deadlines right from the beginning and stuff. Could use the same for my own pk practice as well.

Received "The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep" by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche.

Thesis defense

Done. All the odds seemed to be in favor of my presentation. There was a pause and my presentation had already been opened before I arrived. The opening slides of my presentation were so gripping that they forgot to start the timer (started it 2 minutes late and I could take easy). The questions directed me to the subjects that were important but I had forgotten to talk about. I take it as successful micro-pk.

After my presentation, there were technical problems with the next ones. Someone coughed "Sabotage" =D.

Well, I fled after the last presentation was over. It turned out that they were expecting to see us again, announce the grade and shake hands. No hard feelings, I hope =).

Tons of reading

Oh man, there have been so many posts on Shirak's forum within the last week. Tons of posts to be read and videos to be watched after defending the thesis tomorrow. /=P

Haven't been too active with pk recently. It has been one hell of a week.

One of my uncles held a family concert on the enlightenment subject in a church. That was awesome .. almost constant goosebumps and rising rushes of psi. I could barely hold my tears back. This concert really put me smiling, even though it was painful because of the wisdom teeth. Their CD / DVD will be released in August. I wish I could share it, but it's in Estonian.

It was heavily clouded when we arrived. Intended for sun to shine through the church windows. It did, before their last song.

Appreciate your own creation

Saw an interesting dream this morning. I was playing a video game, a friend was watching and jaw-dropped. He asked if I had played it before or practiced it or something. Well, it was my first time. Whenever there was a problem that had to be solved, I just knew there would be a solution. Took a quick look at the surroundings and used everything that was there. Such an approach works amazingly well both in the dreams and in "reality".

There was another interesting dream as well. After finishing the game, we went for a walk. Every minute or two, I discovered a new ability. Though, the only one I can remember, was Green Lantern light from my eyes. It accidentally burst out, breaking the electronics of a large office printer. Got it under control and another ability popped up.

4 hours of analyzing my 10-minutes presentation for the thesis defense. It's amazing how blinded I was by my own work. I couldn't see it until I heard it from others. Why is it that I sometimes don't appreciate the beauty of my own creation, the beauty of my own abilities and so on? Why is it that I lose sight of the shine of my own work when I see someone else's? The porridge in the bowls of others still seems to taste better .. when it's actually all the same. All the same goes for pk and enlightenment as well - everyone else seems to be doing better when there actually is no worse or better in the first place. Probably just the attitude is what is different.
  
Had a couple of discussions on time-travel, enlightenment, lucid dreaming and OBEs with sister. It's pretty enlightening when the attitude is "correct".

Wednesday night, I was geisting unpleasant thoughts again, hearing people speaking angry stuff in foreign languages (hadn't heard a couple of these languages before; one of them was Russian though). Washing myself with psi worked amazingly well. Just visualized a shower of golden psi, washing off any dirt. It all disappeared and mind became clear again.

Windlift

Woke up at 6 AM, it was cold with a thin blanket in 9 degrees Celsius. Had been sleeping with the balcony door open.

It seems that the shield now works against mosquitoes .. realized that they were just a projection of my fear. This explains why the first mosquitoes appeared in my room several months before their official release date.

It had been raining at night and the sky was heavily clouded. Cleared most of it up before I left for school. I think I semi-consciously geisted some wind on a seagull (accompanied with the feeling of falling). It flew onto a street lamp, but wind pushed it off right when it had landed. It was making circles, trying to get enough lift to land on the lamp again. It wasn't too happy about it, but eventually gave up and managed to get enough lift to land on the roof nearby. Levitation should have a better degree of freedom.

Got a sloppy 'A' at the exam. I'm pretty happy about it.

There was an awesome wind today, I almost became airbourne while crossing the pedestrian bridge. The wind was pushing upwards from my back. Saw a few nice mini-tornadoes lifting leaves and stuff.

One of the most wise days

Cool. Today was probably the day that has taught me the most.

It was the deadline for the thesis. Aand .. I missed it =). My supervisor hadn't had the time to read it through and there's this requirement that the supervisor has to write their opinion on the work.

So, I asked some other people to at least review the introduction and conclusions. So, everyone was shouting bugs and stuff that sucked on my thesis. Some even commented: "Naw, man, no way .. you'll need a couple of more days to fix it."

I was a little surprised at how calm I remained. Managed to fix most of the bugs as fast as they could read. My mind was calm and clear, but the body was a bit stressed. Constantly had to clear my mind and focus on vocabulary that I couldn't remember.

I think I geisted a door swing, almost hitting one of the critics.

Now I feel like I've got it, I think I know how stuff needs to be organized. I used to be too soft, didn't set any strict deadlines for anyone, always accepting all excuses. "Beating" a review out of the supervisor taught me that this method doesn't work.

After fixing bugs and rewriting stuff for about 15 hours straight, I think it can be considered more-or-less done. The supervisor was pretty happy about it.

Hm, it's past midnight and there's an exam tomorrow .. haven't had the time to study for it. Let's see how it goes.

Rolling dream

Meditated for about 30 minutes before going to bed. 

Had a pk dream where I could easily roll batteries around on the table. It seemed easier with batteries than with the soda can.

Couldn't sleep very well last night .. mosquitoes buzzing around. Apparently the smoke shield doesn't work very well against them.

Put white bread into the toaster and started counting back from 5 when I felt like it. When I would reach 0, I would snap my fingers and expect the slices to hop up at the same moment. First attempt didn't go too well. The timing of the second one was so good that it really startled me. Although I've done this pretty much each time I put something into the toaster, this is the first time I've been this successful.

Went to the department store with dad. Suddenly wind picked up and a beer can flew off a garbage bin. I was like "Awesome.." Dad cheered up and asked: "Honestly, did you just do that?"


Well, if I did, it wasn't a conscious pk attempt. Although I wish it were .. would be awesome.

Crown

Meditated on a few chakras above the head for an hour before going to bed. In the morning I felt a bit sick. Might be some blockages that didn't like the pressure. It developed into a slight headache a few hours later.

Took a long nap and now I feel good again. Woke up and wanted to sleep some more, but someone's fire alarm went off or something. Managed to muffle the sound and make it softer.

Down? No way

Listened to owltwelve's brainwave entrainment beats. A few bangs, pops and clicks aside, it seems that my geisting has reduced.

A couple of direct pk practice sessions today. Attempted to roll a soda can and push a pencil. Not much movement yet. OBE-ing into the objects felt pretty weird and it usually startled me when my perception started shifting much.

Took a nap and found it strange that I almost had no self-confidence at all in the dreams. I remember looking at my left thumb (looked pretty real) before coming back into the body. For some reason, I was incredibly disappointed in myself, had absolutely no self-confidence and felt pretty much powerless. When I entered the body again, it all faded, felt psi around me and stuff. Somewhere deep down I still feel down for some reason. For a week or so have I been feeling this way. Yesterday's affirmations didn't change it.

Perhaps these affirmations still did something. I feel desperate about doing something. Really want to practice, meditate and stuff.

Practiced some levitation and bed snapped again, didn't lift into the air yet.

Watched Samsara .. an awesome film.

Guides

A lot of unexpected school stuff to do recently.

I think that the lady who appeared in a couple of OBEs might have been Almine. Hadn't watched any of her videos yet. She looked a lot younger on the astral planes. Felt her presence guiding me in my mind for a few days. Though, I was a bit embarrassed for being unclean and not having the time to seriously devote myself to spiritual practices (lots of school stuff). Postponed these practices by a couple of weeks. Haven't felt her presence in my mind since then. It feels a bit weird when someone treats you as your true self. I mean, I couldn't even see my true self myself and it felt like being mistaken for someone else.

Have practiced levitation for a couple of nights and meditated some. Psi-washed myself yesterday night and visualized lotuses on my body as a symbol of keeping it clean. Feel a lot cleaner and more pure now. The issue with the left knee is still there though.

Saw someone interesting in our school building today. He opened the door and held it open for me, smiling at me at the same time. Although he didn't look local, I thanked him in local language. He was covered in bling and stood out. He seemed calm and clear of thoughts.

It's been a while, but it seems that it still does that .. laptop woke up in the bag, got really hot and drained the battery. That's not very healthy.

Read a rather depressive post on PsionicsOnline and reviewed the thesis of a team member. Depression started creeping in. Clouds appeared and covered the sky (that was previously perfectly clear), dark and gloomy music started coming from the playlist. Meditated some, listened to Boards of Canada - Dayvan Cowboy and those heavy clouds disappeared - sky is perfectly clear again, pain in the heart area dissolved and I feel better again. Need to get this under control so that I wouldn't overflow people with any harmful feelings. Not very healthy either.

Registration e-mail for Qt forum finally arrived .. I think it was in January that I registered. It was supposed to arrive within 24 or 48 hours or something.

Infinity

Wow, that was cool.

Took a nap, trying to OBE. Started hearing these short bursts of loud noises with vibrations again. Focused on them, trying to make them last longer. I think I was out without realizing it or something.

An idea popped into my mind and I formed the shape of infinity symbol out of my consciousness. When the ends met, something amazing happened. There was a huge rush of vibrations and intense psi flow. The intensity was growing as the psi flow was amplifying itself, kind of like how laser works.

I was seeing flashes of images with sounds and whoosh-like noises on image transitions. The same noises appeared when I flew around. I remember an image of a seagull and pine forest viewed from a grassy field. The colors were not "normal", there was some sort of a colored overlay on everything.

As the power was growing, I became slightly paranoid on what was going on near the body. Afraid of heavy geisting due to such intensity, I cut the infinity symbol, took my previous form and re-entered the body again. I'm not sure if I would've withstood any more amplification, as it felt difficult to control already.

Tired

My left knee has been acting strange lately (for 3 days already). It pulses hot and cold sometimes, I think it leaks psi or something.

After writing down my name in a computer class and taking a couple of steps, the pen rolled to my feet. I had placed it on a flat surface. The pen had a clip and was not completely cylindrical. It rolled over one table, fell onto another, rolled all the way to its edge, fell onto the ground and rolled to my shoes. Put it back and made sure it wouldn't start rolling again .. it didn't.


Edit: After taking a look at that time travel page with the clock (the one that keeps popping up on every forum once in a while). Couldn't find it atm. Anyway, I've noticed clocks slowing down recently. Wanted to check the accuracy of my Systick counter, but Windows clock occasionally just stood still for a couple of seconds and made it pretty much impossible.

Came home. It was raining, though, I wasn't motivated for rainshield practice. Well, I wasn't too wet until a car sent a big wave towards me. My mind is rather tired and doesn't care. Interesting that it was wandering around and chattering, tired of its own chatter.

Something just grabbed the left half of my stomach up to the chest. Seems like something is feeding on my psi or something.

Entrainment beats

Fang nominated my blog for an award, calling me by my true name instead of my nickname, which I thought had blown my cover. After some thinking, I realized I had blown my cover first when I registered on a psionics forum - used the same nickname as everywhere else. Still, Fang's post of nominates disappeared due to some Blogger backup issues. Sorry, the synchronicity of it made me laugh.

Listened to a couple of Owltwelve's new brainwave entrainment beats, both for maybe 10 minutes. It took some effort to face the fear of geisting, as stuff started snapping around me. Read some of Thoth's tablets, practiced pranayama and meditated after that. The psi field around me was still pulsing and emitting the feeling of love and peace, so I focused on it. Occasionally focused on it while asleep as well.

I noticed that as long as I was focused on the psi field, I had no need for breathing. Though, it was difficult to keep my mind from wandering for long enough. Another thing that I noticed yesterday was that I only ate a few cookies and a slice of white bread with cheese, considering it enough. Although it's more than 24 hours since proper eating and 18 hours since yesterday's snack, ate something.

Laid on my bed in an attempt to levitate. Mattress springs at the feet snapped a few times even though I didn't move.

Summarization

The mouse is gone since when I was displeased with its behavior yesterday morning.

Meditated one night, can't remember which one. I remember seeing infinite fields of different flowers while focused on Bindu, levitation and keeping mind quiet at the same time.

Meditated yesterday night and today morning; should meditate more often, already a few minutes felt pretty powerful and soothing.

They finished building of the new AHHAA center on Saturday. There's an aerodium, but 2 minutes of levitation costs 12€. Well, got to pay a visit in the Summer when I've earned some money. Crap, it's open till 15. May. Oh well .. learning to levitate myself would be cheaper and more fun anyway <_<.

Sy posted a link to Emerald tablets of Thoth on Crystalinks. Pretty amazing stuff. One can see and feel everything that's written there. The feeling of mysticism that accompanies the tablets is the same that first spawned my interest in ancient temples, pyramids and scriptures. Thanks, sy!

Smoke shield

While meditating on the balcony yesterday morning, the neighbors below decided to start smoking again. Tried to project the thought of quitting smoking.

Built up version 3 of the smoke shield on the balcony door. Intended for this one to eat smoke on the other side and emit a smell of flowers into the room.

Woke up at 4.44 AM again. While waiting for falling asleep again, 2 mosquitoes popped up. So, I decided to add that to the shield. Intended on the smoke shield to reflect them as well.

Have self-confidence

The wise man lets his heart overflow 

but keeps silent his mouth.

-- Thoth, translation by Doreal

I used to follow this, but lately I've been yapping about stuff again. At some moment today, Blogger was closed for maintenance. Although it's done, log in seems to be broken .. can't post.

Anyway, what I wanted to post was that I think I had an OBE or two during a 4-hour nap. I was in a half-dream state, but aware of what was going on around me. The door was open and Dad occasionally walked past, I was lying on my back, body was pretty relaxed. There were some faint low-amplitude vibrations, I attempted to amplify them, but for some reason I couldn't. At some moment, I felt falling to my left. Ignored the reflex of grabbing the body and fell next to the bed.

A "wow" moment again, looked around. Obviously I wasn't quite in the real plane, as there was wallpaper on the ceiling. Flew out through the wall, really happy about it. Poofed to some more pretty landscape, flew around some.

Remembered that my goal has always been to practice levitation next to the body. Poofed back into my room, tried to lift myself vertically while in a cross-legged pose (had previously been flying horizontally). Found it amazingly difficult to do, for some reason I couldn't visualize the feeling of vertical lift. A screen appeared where there had been balcony door and window, a video of some woman teaching levitation started playing. Can't remember everything that she said, but it seemed that my problem was lack self-confidence and belief in myself.

While out, all emotions and feelings seemed amazingly strong .. like explosions of sorts.

Can't remember what I did or what happened, but the same problem popped up everywhere .. self-confidence and belief that I can actually do it. Somewhere deep down I doubt in myself.

Woke up, checked the forums. Some guy (the Psion) had appeared on PsionicsOnline with their first post on the same thing .. self-confidence. He (hope I'm not messing with their gender) had a theory that pain comes from insecurity deep down. He had just performed an experiment, crashing into a steel fence at 65 miles per hour with a four-wheeler. His body didn't respond at first, but he got everything working by just thinking it working. He walked away with a small bruise on his hip, not much left of the four-wheeler.

Source: "Okay...I think I may be going crazy."

Amazing, what all comes down to insecurities deep within.

Yay

The results of another test were announced. It didn't go too well, because we could use printouts, but since our printer has become unreliable, I asked another guy to print it for me. He had a practical and couldn't take the test .. which meant I didn't have them. Couldn't remember all the triggers and counters, so I tried to somehow derive how they worked. Misread problem statements so that my counter chains became long and complex. As it turns out, I scored the highest =D.

D

It turns out that I didn't fail that exam. Barely passed it .. D.

Yesterday night I noticed that the sound of some motors at the boiler building or greenhouse were pulsing at around 4 Hz. Focused on it until I fell asleep. Felt some heavy pressure on my teeth. The rest of my head was more-or-less used to the pressure.

Realized that I've been actively geisting a wrong construct. I've been focused on the wrong feelings, messing with what I had built with months. Changed it and I can see my confidence building up and stuff becoming easier again. Morale: Focus on what you want it to be instead of what it seems to be.

Went to gym. Lock didn't function. Went to the reception with a wide smile and asked for the guest lock again. There happened to be a young girl there. It seemed that it raised her mood. The lock still didn't work after the workout - I stuck the key in and it just doesn't turn no matter what. I have only seen such a behavior on that gym lock.

Couldn't sleep at night, it turns out that somehow a mouse has got to my room. It doesn't seem as intelligent as that fly. Racing and hopping all over the floor, curious of everything that's in my room.

At first I projected "be careful" and "don't eat my stuff". When this had been going on for 3-4 hours into the night already, I projected sleepiness on it. Each time I did, its movement slowed down, it stopped for a moment and some minutes later continued with the ruckus. Opened the balcony door and projected "Get out if you can't behave". Ruckus stopped and I could finally sleep for some hours.

U-tube googlin'

I've been a bit nervous since yesterday, don't know why. It's not healthy though .. causes physical pain. Solved it with a short meditation session.

Googled around in youtube and found some interesting videos. Some security camera footage from a library where a girl practiced pk out of boredom.

I was a bit shocked to find a fellow Estonian practicing pk:

Found an interesting page of self-portraits via this page:
http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/the-girl-who-loves-to-levitate
Her pic diary is here:
http://yowayowacamera.com/banana/

Memory router

Tried a new technique for OBE practicing.

Focused on a point hanging mid-air in the room. I made it dense, solid and stand still like a reference point for coordinate systems through all dimensions. This way it should be possible to link to it from any place / plane I happen to be on. I could move the point around just by visualizing it, but the point was unaffected by gravity, wind or any physical forces.

Then visualized looking at that spot from somewhere else (not from the body). Visualized the feeling of holding this spot / point in my hand or between my fingers.

It seemed to work amazingly well, though, each time my awareness started moving, stuff snapped really loud and frightened at least a part of me back into the body. Dissolving a spot resulted in an intense flow of psi, stuff snapping along the way. Also, when I moved the spot closer to an object .. table, for example, it started snapping stronger and more often.

Thought of giving the point the properties of iron, to avoid it exploding. Hopefully when psi flow gets nasty, it would materialize into a tiny ball of iron instead.

Had an idea of how to remember OBEs and dreams better. This spot could perhaps be programmed to store data. Then I wouldn't have to wake up to remember, I could just focus back on the link with that spot instead.

Experienced an OBE or lucid dream. I was out on the street somewhere. There were wooden buildings around, sun was shining brightly with rays reflecting off the asphalt. First I just "Wow"-ed there for a moment and then decided to fly along the asphalt with hands through it. Enjoyed the feeling of asphalt tingling through the hands while flying towards the sunshine.

I think it faded into a dream, although an incredibly detailed one. I saw an interesting blog. I remember an image of plastic ducks in a pool and a word "Boink" somewhere. Couldn't find it though; the closest match was this one. Found the gravity house picture quite interesting.

My little Tom (Theory of Memory)

While crossing the pedestrian bridge, I usually attempt to shape the water in the river. Recently I've been noticing some effect on the water. Attempted to create vortexes this time .. tiny little vortexes appeared.

I feel compelled to meditate, sleep and work on the equations. This feeling of high that comes from meditation, math, programming or listening to music reminds me of what lucid dreams feel like - lucid reality of sorts.

Didn't get any direct answers to the questions from the previous post while meditating or taking a nap. However, it seems that everything that has been going on recently has been bits and pieces of these answers.

Thanks to Treasure Hunter, Nox, Shirak, FridgeNatious and owltwelve, it seems like some more pieces of the puzzle have come together. I think I've understood more about how memory works and why it works like that. I'm not sure if I would've realized this without failing that exam.

As it was proposed on a Youtube video, memory is holographic and spread over the whole space-time. Studying goes most smooth with a telepathic / empathic link to the author of the conspectus / book and to the phenomena. Although this makes it easy and fun to read (and feels like it's all logical and easy to remember), none of it is associated with our bodies. Our memories and logic stay at the targets of these telepathic / empathic links. When this telepathic link can not be formed (could often be the case during exams when the lecturer has shielded themselves), there's no access to this data. The degradation of these links is why memories tend to fade out when the state of mind changes. In order to remember this stuff, I think we should somehow associate it with our bodies or our every-day emotions and feelings. A.k.a. stuff needs to be downloaded before one can use them off-line. 

Probably the same goes on with dreams & OBE-s and is probably related to the problem of waking up in the middle of something. It's a way of binding these memories to the body.

There's a way to prolong the links. It seems that repetitive use of the link makes it survive longer. Though, I think this would result in forgetting it all the moment the exam is over. Like closing the tab in a web browser. The connection with the server is closed and only "temporary internet files" remain. Not everything is kept in the cache.

Funny how similar the whole Internet thing is to this .. like a miniature model of memory in reality. Much like computers, webcams and other connected devices, every being and object is connected.

Just a bunch of thoughts. 

Fail

Had the feeling that the exam would go amazingly well.

For some reason, along with other exams that I've considered important, this one didn't go well either. I knew almost all of the derivations, but I couldn't show it anywhere. There was one big question that would more-or-less decide the faith of the exam and a bunch of small questions. The big one was on Liouville's theorem, but I couldn't remember what it was about. If only I had remembered that Liouville's theorem meant the continuity of gas flow, I would've done it.

Approached it with pk, but couldn't extract more than a few feelings and even these I forgot right after uncovering them. As if the feelings were stuck in a jelly.

• Why do I often feel great about stuff that are far from great? 
• Why is it that the results of exams depend on psychological reasons and studying actually doesn't mean a thing?
• And why do I always stumble upon that same old rock of memory loss on important moments?
• How do I fix it?

It's about time to fix it, since this might be the last such exam on theory and derivations.

Even though the next one is next Friday, I'm not too happy about it. Wanted to spend time on other subjects and spice it with some levitation practice. Too bad, have to study these equations and derivations all again.

Dream of climbing

I think I should start waking up at 4 AM.

Have been avoiding sleeping on the back due to a running nose. Couldn't sleep in any other pose tonight. When I turned myself on my back (the pose that I usually meditate in before falling asleep), I saw an interesting dream.

It consisted of at least 3 parts, all of which felt as if they took place after the exam or even after graduation.

In one, we were at grandparent's place for some sort of celebration or something. Like always, they wanted us to eat a lot. Well, we left most of it for them to enjoy and left for some other place.

In another, I knew there would be celebration going on in the evening. Felt an urge to do something useful, to feel like I have earned it. Started gathering garbage from the street, even though it was just a couple of days before the "Let's Do It" campaign (tens of thousands of volunteers gathering garbage for a day). Then suddenly another guy came to help me, then another .. some with their own wheelbarrows .. soon it was all neat and clear. We could then have a sauna and celebrate.

The third part started in the evening when I decided to disappear from the sauna queue, I think. I knew that some kind of a sports competition had just taken place. People talked about it, happy for some athletes, disappointed in the performance of others and so on. There was a setup for climbing. So, I started climbing onto this cliff. It was all covered in dense snow and one could only hold on when they would stuck their fingers deep into the snow. The surface of the snow was covered in grooves and holes made with fingers.

I had just reached a tree next to this little "cliff" covered in snow when I realized there was someone watching me. I looked down and saw Mom watching me climb. There was a loose block of ice and dense snow that would fall down when I climbed higher. I told Mom to step away, but the tree branch didn't hold and I fell a bit lower. Mom said: "For you, that's not a problem. You'll get to the top." She disappeared.

Felt tired, but there was nothing to lose by climbing it again. There was some sort of a mechanism for leaving on top. I almost reached it, just couldn't sit on it yet. Gave up and went for the easy way .. this mechanism was attached to the tree with a thin piece of rusty iron. I had thought that it wouldn't hold my weight. Taking the risk, I climbed it, grabbed from the mechanism and sat on. It lifted off and went pretty high. I was holding on to something with my left hand, though, it didn't seem to make me feel secure enough. Started wondering if I had a parachute to come down or something. Didn't have any .. ah, just sat there, thinking I would figure out a way down when in the need.

The higher it lifted, the more I felt the intensity of psi rising. Soon this mechanism stopped and I had a high-score feeling of sorts. Felt like I had achieved something. The intensity was on the verge of my control. Atmospheric density felt so great that it made me worry about my teeth (a really strong feeling of pressure on them). Judging by the intensity of psi in the body, I was close to having a wet dream. So, I woke up and couldn't sleep any longer. It was about 4 AM. =P Gonna crank up some more derivations.

In my opinion, all the parts describe the attitude that I think contributes to pk. The 3rd part I think relates to self-control and levitation practice.

Wiggling nest of equations

Oh man. It took effort to make myself plow through those equations and derivations. Maybe it's due to not having any tests / exam too often this semester or something. That's the last subject of that sort .. for one year, that is. Well, it's not over yet, got to work through each derivation until I know them all by heart at the exam. There's one day left to do that before the exam.

Need to climb to where Treasure Hunter stands. He said his mind is clear 24/7. I realized that I hadn't even dreamt of this .. seemed too far to reach. Last time I dreamt of being able to clear my mind on will and keep it quiet for about an hour. Setting one's goals too low doesn't do any good.

I'm glad I took the courage to set the goal of levitation by summer. Haven't achieved it yet, but it seems to be motivating a lot .. deadline is approaching =D.

Wrigley's Orbit seems to cause a head-ache and deprive the feeling of atmospheric density. Eating seems to boost the feeling of atmospheric density for a moment and then result in sleepiness and in an uncomfortably pleasant feeling of being energized, unable to sit still and study.

It's supposed to be raining according to weather forecasts again (for the last couple of weeks). The fact is that it's raining and has been raining everywhere around the town, but it's still dry here. Well, the humidity level in the air is pretty high due to the heavy clouds that have been flying over for a couple of weeks.

A few weeks ago it popped into my mind once that it should start raining. I pushed it aside, thinking: "Not until the flood dries up". Now it has almost dried up.

OBE side-effects

It seems that when I haven't performed pranayama for quite a while, it becomes more difficult to hold the breath. However, I found that when it becomes difficult to bear holding the breath any longer, there is often this extremely pleasurable feeling somewhere below the chest. When you hold the breath for just a little longer and move the pleasurable feeling upwards, it has an amazing effect. After doing this, the next pranayama attempts should be easy as pie again.

At a lecture, the awareness of my head slowly moved through the skull towards my left.

While talking to another member of the satellite project, something weird happened. I tried to avoid eye contact much like I usually do while talking. Still, when I looked at him, I felt myself leaning his head backwards through him. It looked and felt pretty weird.

Also, synchronicity or manifestation is becoming pretty much dream-like.

Cough

Ok, it's 3 days since my throat got exposed to cold wind. Couldn't sleep last night, coughing and stuff for a couple of hours. I think it's healed now. It has been a while since I've caught cold and it has lasted for longer than an hour.

There's a fly following me everywhere. It woke me up when I was taking a nap yesterday. It thought I would go to the kitchen and flew there. I didn't, it came back looking for me. It followed me to the door when we were going shopping. There it realized I was going out and flew back into my room. For some reason, I feel embarrassed when seen with some friends. This fly is one of those friends that I feel uncomfortable with. It's behavior reminds me of a dog with the exception that it flies around =).


Interesting, I watched a music video of Audiomachine - Prelude of Dreams and focused on the anime picture. A strong smell of flowers appeared (might've been a parfume or something). When the clip ended, there was still a cloud of this sweet smell around me. Cool..

Watched some more videos and smells of other flowers popped up.

Systems on stand-by

Meditated before going to sleep. Tried to keep meditating while in bed by seeking for the feeling of a completely blank mindset. When it happened, I focused on the feeling of it, trying to keep it as long as possible.

I was in a half-dream state of sorts, messing around with some kind of schematics and stuff. I was aware of the blackout and prepared for it. Can't remember what I did for preparation, but I think I finished it. <UPSes started beeping> Woke up "What the heck?"

Again, that same 1/4 of the town was dark, this time for a couple of minutes only. This time I don't consider it geisting, as I knew it was about to happen and felt dependent on it.

Went back to bed, continuing the meditation that I had started, but from which I had slipped into dreams. I saw a field of subsystems again, almost all of them turned off (in stand-by or sleeping). This made it amazingly easy to focus on the blank mindset, as there simply were no thoughts. A part of me started whining, "Do you know what you have just done?" Another part of me said nothing, he knew exactly what he had done and why it was needed. The part that started whining was scared, because he obviously didn't know what was going on and what might be the consequences.

Played with some subsystems, slowed their activity down. It was interesting, how for them, time seemed to have slowed down with their activity. As if their speed was constant even in stand-by, only the flow of info for analyzing had reduced so that it seemed as if their speed increased or something. <dunno>


Edit: Dad said he read it from a local newspaper that the cause for the last blackout was still unknown. According to the experts, the protection fuses had switched off seemingly without a reason. So, they just switched them back on and stuff worked.

A couple of days later, there had been a great blackout in the capital city. A cable short-circuit occurred. Parts of the capital were without electricity for hours. The cause is still to be determined.

There's nothing on the newspapers about the blackout yesterday night.

I'm strangely tired today. Every 1.5 hours, I feel exhausted and eyes keep falling shut.