Some nights ago I had a dream where someone announced that a war was coming. A bunch of skilled ones appeared to train us. They reminded me of ninjas from Naruto (which we had probably watched a day before).
Kevin was in another village and occasionally came to visit. He would ask someone to give him a ride, eat cakes in the village me and father were at and then go back again =D. Finally managed to go to the other village.
Kevin left music playing during the night. I went to bed in the other room, focusing on the feeling of my body resonating with the music. Strange, but heavy metal seemed to stimulate my heart chakra pretty well. I could feel the chakra pulsating in my chest and hands. Occasionally made some out-of-body exercises and continued meditating on that pleasant pulsating feeling.
During this lengthy meditation, I started seeing through my eyelids. It's been a while. My head was slightly out of body (about 1 cm). When I moved it back inside, I could no longer see through my eyelids. Experimented with it some more and found out that while slightly out-of-body, everything was better lit (it was pretty dark and I could only see the pattern of the ceiling through closed eyelids). Though, I still didn't see the objects on the ceiling very well (saw shapes, but couldn't make out what they were). While slightly out-of-body, I could add more shapes and objects to the ceiling, rotate them and stuff. When I opened my eyes again, they were no longer there though.
That night I learned a lot and empathy improved as well. In a bus the next day, I felt as if in multiple bodies at the same time (people on the bus, the bus itself and some of its surroundings).
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Summary, a random one
I didn't ask them, but it seems that Jacob suddenly always wants to play with me. After the last OBE, aunt also seems to enjoy my company more than before.
The light bulb in their outdoor lamp had exploded about 2 days before our arrival. That was roughly the day of that OBE (might not be related, but worth a note nevertheless).
First evening, Kevin invited me to play some drums at his friend's place. It's amazing, how fast one can learn when they're "in the moment". Though, my "in the moment" got lost on the 3rd day after an unpleasant phone call.
Haven't felt as floaty here as I did back home. Some mild weather manipulation, light-stepping on loose stones, reducing the weight of stones, micro-pk on a tractor engine and everyday events. Redirected some falling stones and shield-protected Jacob when he would've almost cut himself with a knife.
Kevin had succeeded in rain-shielding himself yet again (kept his clothes dry at his graduation even though it was raining a lot). Being chased by a growling dog once, he had made a shield and when the dog reached the shield, it fled in the opposite direction, tail between the legs and whining. Awesome..
On our way here, we were reading on Grebennikov's Cavernous Structures Effect with father. This made me wonder about the purpose of my life. Everything started to seem so tiny and meaningless. Discussed it with dad and found everything even more pointless. I think this is what triggered the following dream:
I was looking to my left. There were my problems and worries. In front of me, there was something else and there was also something different to my right. A master told me something in the lines of:
"Bad sorcerer" caught my attention. He told me to start looking towards my right. I think there was a feeling of mysticism there.
The light bulb in their outdoor lamp had exploded about 2 days before our arrival. That was roughly the day of that OBE (might not be related, but worth a note nevertheless).
First evening, Kevin invited me to play some drums at his friend's place. It's amazing, how fast one can learn when they're "in the moment". Though, my "in the moment" got lost on the 3rd day after an unpleasant phone call.
Haven't felt as floaty here as I did back home. Some mild weather manipulation, light-stepping on loose stones, reducing the weight of stones, micro-pk on a tractor engine and everyday events. Redirected some falling stones and shield-protected Jacob when he would've almost cut himself with a knife.
Kevin had succeeded in rain-shielding himself yet again (kept his clothes dry at his graduation even though it was raining a lot). Being chased by a growling dog once, he had made a shield and when the dog reached the shield, it fled in the opposite direction, tail between the legs and whining. Awesome..
On our way here, we were reading on Grebennikov's Cavernous Structures Effect with father. This made me wonder about the purpose of my life. Everything started to seem so tiny and meaningless. Discussed it with dad and found everything even more pointless. I think this is what triggered the following dream:
I was looking to my left. There were my problems and worries. In front of me, there was something else and there was also something different to my right. A master told me something in the lines of:
You're a good ???
You're mediocre at ??? (self-control?)
And you're a bad sorcerer.
You can improve it all.
"Bad sorcerer" caught my attention. He told me to start looking towards my right. I think there was a feeling of mysticism there.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Ghosting at summerhouse
Took vacation. Spent most of the Saturday working hard. Finished it, took a break and practiced these OBE exercises. Studied UDK editor a bit and went to bed.
Even though it was 1 AM already, I couldn't sleep as I felt too energized for that. All I could do was these OBE exercises. As close to sleeping as I could get was hanging in a half-dream state.
So, I was hanging there. Felt being pulled out of body. I think I was floating in my room, facing towards the balcony. Still there, when I had an idea: "I wonder if I could be reborn in such a way that I create my body from scratch (just by visualizing and materializing a form). Err, after this life, that is." I was glad I didn't mess up with the thought.
I felt being pulled. I arrived somewhere, I was too early - it was early in the morning and still dark outside. Felt mischievous and still entered. Instead of opening the door, I suddenly just ended up inside (I think I saw an image of the place and entered the site through the image). It was dark, but I saw a cupboard in front of me. There was a wooden door somewhere nearby, a bunk bed and next to it there was someone's schoolbag.
On second thought, I decided to knock on a door before entering. Knocked, but I could barely hear any sound. Wtf, knocked again and louder this time, still barely audible. Tried knocking on the walls, still nothing. The windows worked the best, so I knocked at them in as many places as I could, hoping for some sort of a reaction.
Aunt: "Jacob, stop making that noise.."
I suddenly became aware of myself in my aunt's room. I was now looking towards the bunk bed from next to a door. To my right, there was a window where moonlight came in. Jacob seemed awake and he replied to aunt: "I'll better sleep next to Sussch, then."
He came towards me and hugged me. Popped back and woke up to write it down at 3.08 AM.
I was rather disoriented and couldn't see very well, thus the confusion. I had always been in the same room. The door that I knocked on, it didn't lead to the room as I had thought. I was knocking on it from the same room, looking behind my back at the same time (which resulted in seeing stuff at strange angles). The cupboard was next to the door, in front of the bunk bed.
Pretty cool, I'll see what people talk when I go to the summerhouse =).
Even though it was 1 AM already, I couldn't sleep as I felt too energized for that. All I could do was these OBE exercises. As close to sleeping as I could get was hanging in a half-dream state.
So, I was hanging there. Felt being pulled out of body. I think I was floating in my room, facing towards the balcony. Still there, when I had an idea: "I wonder if I could be reborn in such a way that I create my body from scratch (just by visualizing and materializing a form). Err, after this life, that is." I was glad I didn't mess up with the thought.
I felt being pulled. I arrived somewhere, I was too early - it was early in the morning and still dark outside. Felt mischievous and still entered. Instead of opening the door, I suddenly just ended up inside (I think I saw an image of the place and entered the site through the image). It was dark, but I saw a cupboard in front of me. There was a wooden door somewhere nearby, a bunk bed and next to it there was someone's schoolbag.
On second thought, I decided to knock on a door before entering. Knocked, but I could barely hear any sound. Wtf, knocked again and louder this time, still barely audible. Tried knocking on the walls, still nothing. The windows worked the best, so I knocked at them in as many places as I could, hoping for some sort of a reaction.
Aunt: "Jacob, stop making that noise.."
I suddenly became aware of myself in my aunt's room. I was now looking towards the bunk bed from next to a door. To my right, there was a window where moonlight came in. Jacob seemed awake and he replied to aunt: "I'll better sleep next to Sussch, then."
He came towards me and hugged me. Popped back and woke up to write it down at 3.08 AM.
I was rather disoriented and couldn't see very well, thus the confusion. I had always been in the same room. The door that I knocked on, it didn't lead to the room as I had thought. I was knocking on it from the same room, looking behind my back at the same time (which resulted in seeing stuff at strange angles). The cupboard was next to the door, in front of the bunk bed.
Pretty cool, I'll see what people talk when I go to the summerhouse =).
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Grey corridors
Had a few random pop-outs again.
Performed a few exercises. Felt a pleasant buzzing all over the body and found myself flying through the corridor of a building. It looked fairly modern with all the grayish white concrete walls and floors. There was a square window at a 45 degree angle on the left wall. Behind the window I think there was the sky and perhaps a tree or something. Flew up to the window and woke up to make sure I remembered it afterwards.
Stirred the dense psi on the crown a little and started feeling pressure on my 3rd eye. Focused on it and saw myself flying through a building, into a dark cave or something. Someone told me not to go there. I stopped for a moment and looked around. It looked dark on the outside, but I could see streams of white psi moving around in the dark walls and heard someone calling. I continued flying forward until I arrived at a dark room (just not very well lit). The floor and walls looked similar to the previous experience. There was someone there, dressed in grey and she had grey / white hair. She turned around, I saw her face and popped back again, just in case. She looked a bit spooky too.
Performed a few exercises. Felt a pleasant buzzing all over the body and found myself flying through the corridor of a building. It looked fairly modern with all the grayish white concrete walls and floors. There was a square window at a 45 degree angle on the left wall. Behind the window I think there was the sky and perhaps a tree or something. Flew up to the window and woke up to make sure I remembered it afterwards.
Stirred the dense psi on the crown a little and started feeling pressure on my 3rd eye. Focused on it and saw myself flying through a building, into a dark cave or something. Someone told me not to go there. I stopped for a moment and looked around. It looked dark on the outside, but I could see streams of white psi moving around in the dark walls and heard someone calling. I continued flying forward until I arrived at a dark room (just not very well lit). The floor and walls looked similar to the previous experience. There was someone there, dressed in grey and she had grey / white hair. She turned around, I saw her face and popped back again, just in case. She looked a bit spooky too.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Village of red bricks
Sat down, but didn't feel like doing exercises, felt I would just want to meditate for change. A sudden emptiness appeared, there was nothing going on in my mind.
I recognized the place, I had been there once in my dreams before. It's a closed area (doesn't exist when looked at from the outside), nobody gets in and nobody gets out unless there's a strong need for it.
I think the first time I saw this dream, I met someone who lived there. They took me there, but I wanted to leave the place right away because I felt too impure and out of control. The whole area is full of peace and serenity, the beings are always calm and very intelligent.
The architecture looked similar to what I think can be seen in London, but everything was made of red bricks (all the walls, street floor and so on). The first time, I was there during autumn and there were yellow leaves falling from clear sky or something (the whole area was hidden below the branches of a leaf tree, somewhere on the verge of a mountain).
This time I recognized the feeling of that place. I could barely see anything (all hazy and out of focus), but somehow I was inside. I was a lot more pure than the last time I visited this place, but still I didn't feel comfortable. Focused on the feeling that was on the streets there. There were a few repercussions, something in me didn't stand such purity and left, which was followed by peace.
I think there was a small shop, a train station, a church and the homes of the people living there. The area was incredibly small, but somehow everything fit in there.
I recognized the place, I had been there once in my dreams before. It's a closed area (doesn't exist when looked at from the outside), nobody gets in and nobody gets out unless there's a strong need for it.
I think the first time I saw this dream, I met someone who lived there. They took me there, but I wanted to leave the place right away because I felt too impure and out of control. The whole area is full of peace and serenity, the beings are always calm and very intelligent.
The architecture looked similar to what I think can be seen in London, but everything was made of red bricks (all the walls, street floor and so on). The first time, I was there during autumn and there were yellow leaves falling from clear sky or something (the whole area was hidden below the branches of a leaf tree, somewhere on the verge of a mountain).
This time I recognized the feeling of that place. I could barely see anything (all hazy and out of focus), but somehow I was inside. I was a lot more pure than the last time I visited this place, but still I didn't feel comfortable. Focused on the feeling that was on the streets there. There were a few repercussions, something in me didn't stand such purity and left, which was followed by peace.
I think there was a small shop, a train station, a church and the homes of the people living there. The area was incredibly small, but somehow everything fit in there.
Some exercises
Out-of-body workouts are becoming more vivid. I've become addicted. Though, I'm trying to avoid doing it much in public, maybe someone can see it.
Some exercises cause a feeling of disorientation and nausea. Leaning forward, making a full revolution and ending back at the original orientation was one of the exercises, during which I lost track of where and how I was oriented (can't see my surroundings during the workout yet).
One of the most confusing exercise was the following: I'm lying on the bed. From the pose of my body, I take a meditation pose in my visualization. Then I lean back and rotate into an orientation where I'm upside down, staring at the chin of the body. With this I lost all sense of what's downside up or upside down or whatever.
Interesting how when I rotated myself around "the vertical" axis, there were two orientations that sort of "snapped" in: face in face and face at the behind of the neck. This was the case when the visualizations were vivid enough, otherwise I didn't notice any "snap-into-place" effect.
The most convenient one was to lie in bed and lower the lower body through the bed, ending up in a convenient sitting pose.
Another thing I tried yesterday was stretching one of my limbs to an object and merging with the object, then morphing the limb back to its original shape and bringing it back. This was difficult to perform in bed, because it didn't matter what I attempted to merge with, I would always merge with the mattress as well (used to practice on it a long time ago, now it's in the reflexes or something).
Messed up with sleeping, it got cold. I ended up tired. Had to "take out the garbage" (empty the mind) in order to stop from accidentally doing stuff (locking boss in, burning myself with a soldering iron and so on).
Uncle needed someone to sell tickets for a CD presenting concert of their family concerts. The CD doesn't do it much justice, in my opinion. There are only songs, without uncle's enlightening stories. Had a good chance to listen to their songs again =P. Almost constant goosebumps, several tears and stuff. There was a lady who came to listen the songs; she was pretty pissed when she arrived. I wondered what she would look like when the concert was over. She looked the same (face hadn't changed, she barely smiled), but she herself had changed a lot =).
Some exercises cause a feeling of disorientation and nausea. Leaning forward, making a full revolution and ending back at the original orientation was one of the exercises, during which I lost track of where and how I was oriented (can't see my surroundings during the workout yet).
One of the most confusing exercise was the following: I'm lying on the bed. From the pose of my body, I take a meditation pose in my visualization. Then I lean back and rotate into an orientation where I'm upside down, staring at the chin of the body. With this I lost all sense of what's downside up or upside down or whatever.
Interesting how when I rotated myself around "the vertical" axis, there were two orientations that sort of "snapped" in: face in face and face at the behind of the neck. This was the case when the visualizations were vivid enough, otherwise I didn't notice any "snap-into-place" effect.
The most convenient one was to lie in bed and lower the lower body through the bed, ending up in a convenient sitting pose.
Another thing I tried yesterday was stretching one of my limbs to an object and merging with the object, then morphing the limb back to its original shape and bringing it back. This was difficult to perform in bed, because it didn't matter what I attempted to merge with, I would always merge with the mattress as well (used to practice on it a long time ago, now it's in the reflexes or something).
Messed up with sleeping, it got cold. I ended up tired. Had to "take out the garbage" (empty the mind) in order to stop from accidentally doing stuff (locking boss in, burning myself with a soldering iron and so on).
Uncle needed someone to sell tickets for a CD presenting concert of their family concerts. The CD doesn't do it much justice, in my opinion. There are only songs, without uncle's enlightening stories. Had a good chance to listen to their songs again =P. Almost constant goosebumps, several tears and stuff. There was a lady who came to listen the songs; she was pretty pissed when she arrived. I wondered what she would look like when the concert was over. She looked the same (face hadn't changed, she barely smiled), but she herself had changed a lot =).
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Work-out of body
Decided to practice OBEs in a way that's new for me. Have been doing workout exercises without moving the physical body. Doing push-ups out of body while lying on my chest. Rising up and hugging my feet while lying on my back. The more I do it, the more vivid it becomes. It doesn't yield any OBE results at first, but it doesn't matter. When I have mastered this, leaving the body with full control should be easy. Popping back should then no longer be a problem either. Best of all, I feel like doing it, it feels right.
Although I haven't fully left the body like this, it still seems to have side-effects similar to that of OBEs.
Although I haven't fully left the body like this, it still seems to have side-effects similar to that of OBEs.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Shared OBE excitement
Slept a lot yesterday, though, none of the dreams seemed lucid. I was really tired as well. Checked the forums before bed and a video in "Obe & Pk" caught my attention (EnochianBoy's New OBE). Didn't watch it though. Got the feeling of him from the thumbnail picture.
While at work, a clear image of his face suddenly popped into my mind. After that I felt his presence everywhere for the next couple of hours. I think he healed me and was excited to practice OBEs together. He shared a lot of his excitement, it really made me look forward to it. It slowly faded after that, but I could still tell that he was asleep. A moment later the feeling was gone and it felt as if he either no longer remembered it or a part of the memory had been lost. I think I'm kind of numb or something, because not much of the excitement got stuck to me when he left. Just a little but it's enough for some practicing =).
Watched the video just a moment ago.
While at work, a clear image of his face suddenly popped into my mind. After that I felt his presence everywhere for the next couple of hours. I think he healed me and was excited to practice OBEs together. He shared a lot of his excitement, it really made me look forward to it. It slowly faded after that, but I could still tell that he was asleep. A moment later the feeling was gone and it felt as if he either no longer remembered it or a part of the memory had been lost. I think I'm kind of numb or something, because not much of the excitement got stuck to me when he left. Just a little but it's enough for some practicing =).
Watched the video just a moment ago.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Healing electronics
Before going to the haunting house trip, it was pretty cloudy in Estonia. Father checked from Meteoblue that the sky would be cloudy for the whole day and the next day too. That seemed like a bad combination for the air show they are holding at the town again (so far they have been out of luck almost every year). Intended for the weather to clear out. Right before departure, sun came out and sky started to clear out. It was also pretty much clear at our destination.
Before departure, I also checked my old MP3 player that had been tanning on the shelf because it was broken. Inserted a relatively new battery and it was working. The button was still down, but it was now somehow functioning. Though, for some reason, it acted similarly to the music station in the living room (a quantum system that works better when used with some pk). Interesting, I had practiced "healing" on the broken button and never actually tried it afterwards. It seems it worked, but caused the MP3 player to "become remote controlled with pk". Buttons sometimes work the other way round so that when I lower the volume, it increases and vice versa.
Before departure, I also checked my old MP3 player that had been tanning on the shelf because it was broken. Inserted a relatively new battery and it was working. The button was still down, but it was now somehow functioning. Though, for some reason, it acted similarly to the music station in the living room (a quantum system that works better when used with some pk). Interesting, I had practiced "healing" on the broken button and never actually tried it afterwards. It seems it worked, but caused the MP3 player to "become remote controlled with pk". Buttons sometimes work the other way round so that when I lower the volume, it increases and vice versa.
Haunting house
The haunted house trip was postponed and one of the guys couldn't come so that I could ask father to come with us. We would've probably missed half of it all when he hadn't come.
It was a hike through the swamp and I really enjoyed the nature there. It was so quiet there that even my mind was quiet. Hm, actually, my mind was quiet before the trip as well. During the first day, there were only just a few birds and almost no animals around. Meditated some, watching the sunset.
Took a few pictures, looking for orbs there. One of the guys captured some pretty interesting phenomena on the photos. He acted on his gut feeling and found a strange fog or cloud of orbs or something that formed different shapes, broke apart into individual orbs and stuff.
When it was dark, father told his alien, ghost and superhero stories at the bonfire. It was a nice full-moon for telling these stories =).
For me it got too cold in the tent so that I couldn't sleep much. Luckily it was my turn to go into the house (which was considerably warmer).
The building had been built pretty recently and didn't seem very related to the ghost. Though, it definitely gave off a spooky feeling that might spark fear and cause panic. I was a bit scared when I entered, but Harry Potter Patronus-like stuff helped (visualizing happy and enjoyable moments). There were a couple of candles lit (a white and a red one).
I sat down and visualized the ghost sitting on the edge of something that looked like table. Started talking with him in my mind (all sort of stuff I thought he might find interesting). While I was doing that, the room was silent and the red candle was pulsing. When I stopped talking and there was a moment of emptiness in my mind, the flame of the red candle stopped pulsing, door, windows, ceiling started making cracking and snapping sounds. I could feel uneasiness increasing when I wasn't chatting. My time was up, I thanked him again and took the dictaphone away.
There was another sleepless guy. Visited the lake, which was all covered in a thick mist. Put some more branches into the bonfire and enjoyed it until sunrise, which was really pretty as well.
A couple of more hikes with father early in the morning and went to sleep in the house. When I woke up, everything looked the way I had visualized them before (in order to control fear). There was this strong feeling of peace and enjoyment.
Wind rose. While packing the tent and sleeping bag, the wind changed direction and increased, helping me out a lot. Almost as if there were an extra pair of hands helping.
Later I threw something into the bonfire, but missed. Visualized it catching fire; wind picked up and blew the flames so that they occasionally leaned to the object. It didn't lit up though. Sometimes smoke started rising from the target without the help of flames touching it.
Tried some pk on a plastic spoon too, but it barely budged.
It was a hike through the swamp and I really enjoyed the nature there. It was so quiet there that even my mind was quiet. Hm, actually, my mind was quiet before the trip as well. During the first day, there were only just a few birds and almost no animals around. Meditated some, watching the sunset.
Took a few pictures, looking for orbs there. One of the guys captured some pretty interesting phenomena on the photos. He acted on his gut feeling and found a strange fog or cloud of orbs or something that formed different shapes, broke apart into individual orbs and stuff.
When it was dark, father told his alien, ghost and superhero stories at the bonfire. It was a nice full-moon for telling these stories =).
For me it got too cold in the tent so that I couldn't sleep much. Luckily it was my turn to go into the house (which was considerably warmer).
The building had been built pretty recently and didn't seem very related to the ghost. Though, it definitely gave off a spooky feeling that might spark fear and cause panic. I was a bit scared when I entered, but Harry Potter Patronus-like stuff helped (visualizing happy and enjoyable moments). There were a couple of candles lit (a white and a red one).
I sat down and visualized the ghost sitting on the edge of something that looked like table. Started talking with him in my mind (all sort of stuff I thought he might find interesting). While I was doing that, the room was silent and the red candle was pulsing. When I stopped talking and there was a moment of emptiness in my mind, the flame of the red candle stopped pulsing, door, windows, ceiling started making cracking and snapping sounds. I could feel uneasiness increasing when I wasn't chatting. My time was up, I thanked him again and took the dictaphone away.
There was another sleepless guy. Visited the lake, which was all covered in a thick mist. Put some more branches into the bonfire and enjoyed it until sunrise, which was really pretty as well.
A couple of more hikes with father early in the morning and went to sleep in the house. When I woke up, everything looked the way I had visualized them before (in order to control fear). There was this strong feeling of peace and enjoyment.
Wind rose. While packing the tent and sleeping bag, the wind changed direction and increased, helping me out a lot. Almost as if there were an extra pair of hands helping.
Later I threw something into the bonfire, but missed. Visualized it catching fire; wind picked up and blew the flames so that they occasionally leaned to the object. It didn't lit up though. Sometimes smoke started rising from the target without the help of flames touching it.
Tried some pk on a plastic spoon too, but it barely budged.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Anger, RV
Shirak made an inspiring post in the quotes section:
I really enjoyed it. Though, I suspect it played a large role in my dreams this morning. Lots of habits, emotions and feelings that I didn't know I had. Bullying someone, fighting some "bad guys" and ending up more violent than they ever were. Didn't find it too pleasant though and focused on the central channel instead.
I saw a road on the edge of a slope, with a mountain ridge in the background. There was a white / grey van coming down the road while we were exploring the place. There was a lot of noise on the foreground, some people talking. I think it was somewhere in Hungary. Everything looked incredibly vivid and detailed. Woke up when I realised what was going on.
Tried again. This time I saw what looked like a dormitory. I was looking through an open door to a corridor. A guy ran in, in a hurry. He was looking for a WC. I think there was no noise on this one. Not as many details as on the previous one. The most important part seemed to be his face. Woke up again.
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. - Buddha
I copied this from another thread but it holds power here it is.
"One day a man found out that his brother had renounced worldly life to become a monk, and he became very angry. He set off on foot to find the Buddha, and upon finding him, he began to abuse the Buddha. He yelled at him, spit on him and even struck him with his fist. The Buddha did not flinch, instead he remained as calm and as blissful as he always was. If you offered some food to a guest who came to your house, and the guest left without eating any of it, who would the food belong to? the Buddha asked the man.
The man was confused by this seemingly very strange question, but upon reflection he replied, "Of course, it would belong to me!" The Buddha shook his head in agreement and then said, In the same way, I do not wish to accept your abuse, so the abuse belongs to you. The man then realized this truth and bowed to the Buddha's feet in forgiveness. The Buddha told him there was no need for forgiveness and asked the man to sit with them in discussion. The man soon after became a monk, just like his brother.
Such a simple story, but the implications are tremendously powerful! The Buddha was being verbally and physically abused and managed to fix the problem without becoming angry in the least bit. This is not surprising though because an awakened one will never become angry. But let us not place the Buddha on a pedal stool and act like we too cannot awaken to this simple realization today; that when we are angry at something or someone else, we are only hurting ourselves and making our lives that much more difficult than they already are. When we truly realize this simple fact, the doors of real lasting and powerful change will open wide."
"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. - Buddha
I disagree that an awakened one will never become angry moreso they are less likely to become angry. Ego is one of the byproducts of humanity it is a great tool of the consciousness but a terrible master.
I really enjoyed it. Though, I suspect it played a large role in my dreams this morning. Lots of habits, emotions and feelings that I didn't know I had. Bullying someone, fighting some "bad guys" and ending up more violent than they ever were. Didn't find it too pleasant though and focused on the central channel instead.
I saw a road on the edge of a slope, with a mountain ridge in the background. There was a white / grey van coming down the road while we were exploring the place. There was a lot of noise on the foreground, some people talking. I think it was somewhere in Hungary. Everything looked incredibly vivid and detailed. Woke up when I realised what was going on.
Tried again. This time I saw what looked like a dormitory. I was looking through an open door to a corridor. A guy ran in, in a hurry. He was looking for a WC. I think there was no noise on this one. Not as many details as on the previous one. The most important part seemed to be his face. Woke up again.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Inevitable rainfall
Not the brightest day.
When I have started coming home, the rain has always stopped so far. Today it didn't.
A friend offered a lift. Still attempted to lessen the rainfall. Managed to reduce it, but it took effort to keep it that way.
It stopped raining when I was at home. It's the time I've usually left from work. So, I just left early =D. Aand about half an hour later (about the time it would take me to walk home) .. it's raining again.
For some reason, it occasionally marks a random video "watched" that I haven't watched. Sometimes it has been an amazing find and I've really enjoyed these videos that I'm claimed to have already watched, but sometimes they seem rather pointless.
Weird, there's a circular hole in the ceiling of my mouth. It sometimes hurts, but I don't have a clue how it got there. =?
When I have started coming home, the rain has always stopped so far. Today it didn't.
A friend offered a lift. Still attempted to lessen the rainfall. Managed to reduce it, but it took effort to keep it that way.
It stopped raining when I was at home. It's the time I've usually left from work. So, I just left early =D. Aand about half an hour later (about the time it would take me to walk home) .. it's raining again.
For some reason, it occasionally marks a random video "watched" that I haven't watched. Sometimes it has been an amazing find and I've really enjoyed these videos that I'm claimed to have already watched, but sometimes they seem rather pointless.
Weird, there's a circular hole in the ceiling of my mouth. It sometimes hurts, but I don't have a clue how it got there. =?
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Strange dreams
Practised some Trataka on the projection clock yesterday. It started to feel really pleasant at the heart chakra. It popped into mind that I have been keeping it off because it feels too good to be confident enough that I can control the psi during dreams.
Had some strange dreams this morning.
Yesterday my mind once drifted to a memory of how a friend often dreams of helping me with girls. A few seconds of this drifting thought must've been enough to cause the following dream.
I was at a lecture or a conference or something, I don't know. I wasn't paying much attention, thinking something in a relaxed position, feet stretched out. Then suddenly I realised that I had been so deep in my thoughts that it hadn't occurred to me that there's someone who wants to get past me. I had just been staring at her without realising there's anyone there. Apologised and let her through. Even though she went to the same school with some of us there, no-one else had noticed her before I brought it up. She looked like the girl I fell in love with back in high school. Probably the only symbol for the subconscious mind to use for this purpose.
Somehow she got stuck with me. We were at the summerhouse, watching TV. I think it was Christmas, because there were candles in a corner of the room. Someone told me to put the candles out. I blew them out (I think there were 2 or 3), but failed on the last one (4th). Blew it out, but it was close to a curtain, which caught fire. Quickly tore the piece out of the curtain and stopped the flame in my right hand. It hurt, but when I looked at it, it was dirty with grim but perfectly healthy.
There happened to be a scene on the TV, where the camera showed an old castle from the outside. There were 3 outdoor candles and an open door at the back. I blew the candles out by blowing at the TV screen. To me it looked as if there were a candle inside as well (the doorway was lit from the inside and the light flickered). I attempted to blow that out as well, but it didn't work. Someone later showed me the reason - it was not candle light, it was a reflection from an electrical light source.
It's interesting, because I haven't dreamt of and I haven't even thought of pyrokinesis for *scratches head* 3 weeks.
In the next dream I saw my sister. I haven't seen a dream with her for months. She was living somewhere else She wanted something, but I couldn't understand it. Due to this, I acted wrong from that perspective.
Had some strange dreams this morning.
Yesterday my mind once drifted to a memory of how a friend often dreams of helping me with girls. A few seconds of this drifting thought must've been enough to cause the following dream.
I was at a lecture or a conference or something, I don't know. I wasn't paying much attention, thinking something in a relaxed position, feet stretched out. Then suddenly I realised that I had been so deep in my thoughts that it hadn't occurred to me that there's someone who wants to get past me. I had just been staring at her without realising there's anyone there. Apologised and let her through. Even though she went to the same school with some of us there, no-one else had noticed her before I brought it up. She looked like the girl I fell in love with back in high school. Probably the only symbol for the subconscious mind to use for this purpose.
Somehow she got stuck with me. We were at the summerhouse, watching TV. I think it was Christmas, because there were candles in a corner of the room. Someone told me to put the candles out. I blew them out (I think there were 2 or 3), but failed on the last one (4th). Blew it out, but it was close to a curtain, which caught fire. Quickly tore the piece out of the curtain and stopped the flame in my right hand. It hurt, but when I looked at it, it was dirty with grim but perfectly healthy.
There happened to be a scene on the TV, where the camera showed an old castle from the outside. There were 3 outdoor candles and an open door at the back. I blew the candles out by blowing at the TV screen. To me it looked as if there were a candle inside as well (the doorway was lit from the inside and the light flickered). I attempted to blow that out as well, but it didn't work. Someone later showed me the reason - it was not candle light, it was a reflection from an electrical light source.
It's interesting, because I haven't dreamt of and I haven't even thought of pyrokinesis for *scratches head* 3 weeks.
In the next dream I saw my sister. I haven't seen a dream with her for months. She was living somewhere else She wanted something, but I couldn't understand it. Due to this, I acted wrong from that perspective.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Yin vs Yang
While discussing the haunty stuff with father, a theory popped up. I brought up the subject of Yin and Yang energies. Well, I've usually been pretty skeptical about the existence of two types of energy with the opposite characteristics. Dad asked: "Why would you think there's two types of energy? Isn't one of them just a lack of the other?"
Although it's often referred to as two types of energy, what if it is really just one? And we can move that one when there are contrasts, that is, there are regions where there's more psi and regions where there's less. Then psi would be sucked to the region where there's less, causing a similar effect as to one region being cold and pulling while the other hot and pushing.
I think it now makes sense why I didn't succeed in practicing pk without causing any contrasts in psi density in my body. That way there's no flow.
Although it's often referred to as two types of energy, what if it is really just one? And we can move that one when there are contrasts, that is, there are regions where there's more psi and regions where there's less. Then psi would be sucked to the region where there's less, causing a similar effect as to one region being cold and pulling while the other hot and pushing.
I think it now makes sense why I didn't succeed in practicing pk without causing any contrasts in psi density in my body. That way there's no flow.
Weekend trip
Had a meeting with a couple of old friends (an old friend and his brother). We are planning to visit a haunted house on Friday. His brother had spoken about this to a clairvoyant girl from India. She had immediately refused to come and advised for him not to go there either. She had said that this ghost has harmful intentions and is best to be left alone. She had also told him that he's amazingly skeptical towards all of this, but when something is going change him, it's gonna be tough. That's the main reason why he's going for that haunted house, I think.
I slightly nudged our discussion towards pk. It was pretty fun and they seemed to be interested in this stuff. For some reason though, when I either talk about this stuff with someone new or someone skeptical, I soon get cold and start shaking but really excited at the same time.
Discussed it with dad as well. He suggested us to avoid resonating with what the ghost brings up. The ghost almost has no power alone.
I slightly nudged our discussion towards pk. It was pretty fun and they seemed to be interested in this stuff. For some reason though, when I either talk about this stuff with someone new or someone skeptical, I soon get cold and start shaking but really excited at the same time.
Discussed it with dad as well. He suggested us to avoid resonating with what the ghost brings up. The ghost almost has no power alone.
Monday, August 8, 2011
In pain
Today no longer felt different.
Today morning I had the most amazing levitation dream I've had this far. I think I stumbled at first and found that I was descending slower than "normal". Practiced it some behind the corner and went to show it to Kevin. He said "That's nothing yet. Go higher." After some trials, I could levitate to the height of a tree that was next to us. Descending was rather clumsy due to some ego issues. Almost lost my balance. So, I reached the ground again and he said "Now fly forward and lift off at a sharp angle." When I finally managed to do it, only then did he agree on flying with me.
While at work, my heart and throat chakras suddenly "exploded". So far I haven't experienced anything more painful. For maybe 20 or 30 minutes, every breath and heartbeat triggered strong pain in my chest. The pain then decreased and psi left for the head and I started feeling a lot better. I could then move the body while only suffering from mild pain, so I took a short break. Well, I'm still alive =). Felt rather floaty and occasionally had cold psi rushing around in the body.
It would've been better if I had seen it coming and had started meditating on my bottleneck chakras. I didn't. It still hurts a bit, but I think it's good, because this way I can feel the amount of psi going through. Though, I don't think I should go practicing levitation or some heavy energy cultivation any time soon. Which is exactly what I would want to do because of that dream.
Today morning I had the most amazing levitation dream I've had this far. I think I stumbled at first and found that I was descending slower than "normal". Practiced it some behind the corner and went to show it to Kevin. He said "That's nothing yet. Go higher." After some trials, I could levitate to the height of a tree that was next to us. Descending was rather clumsy due to some ego issues. Almost lost my balance. So, I reached the ground again and he said "Now fly forward and lift off at a sharp angle." When I finally managed to do it, only then did he agree on flying with me.
While at work, my heart and throat chakras suddenly "exploded". So far I haven't experienced anything more painful. For maybe 20 or 30 minutes, every breath and heartbeat triggered strong pain in my chest. The pain then decreased and psi left for the head and I started feeling a lot better. I could then move the body while only suffering from mild pain, so I took a short break. Well, I'm still alive =). Felt rather floaty and occasionally had cold psi rushing around in the body.
It would've been better if I had seen it coming and had started meditating on my bottleneck chakras. I didn't. It still hurts a bit, but I think it's good, because this way I can feel the amount of psi going through. Though, I don't think I should go practicing levitation or some heavy energy cultivation any time soon. Which is exactly what I would want to do because of that dream.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Different
Today feels different. Everything feels somehow different. I can't recognize the old places as they are in my memory, I can't recognize myself. I could tell that all people felt it, as they acted different as well.
It feels almost as if an End of the World has ended and everything has been reborn.
Heard that a couple of nights ago there had been strong Northern Lights. Well, I obviously missed it .. I think I was sleeping at that time. Maybe that's why. Don't know, but it sure feels a lot different.
Before going to sleep yesterday, I tried levitation again. That felt different too, it felt a lot more real than it ever has. The sound of weight being lifted off the bed springs, the floaty feeling of weighing less and less. Maybe that's why. Don't know either.
Went to see the Amway advertisement of a dad's friend. I was quite skeptical and didn't like it there at first, strange smirk on my face and lamps blinking. At some point I realized it actually doesn't make a difference where I am. It's a lousy excuse to feel comfortable in one place and uncomfortable in another. Even though my exciting game development process was interrupted with this, I can still be content with everything that is.
Took a sneak back to home, with a camera. The sky was covered in a mist-like cloud at first, sun illuminating a part of it. While taking pictures, I fancied more sun shining through. A minute or two later, a spiral-like hole had appeared in the part that had been illuminated.
The more I stared into the sky, the more interesting clouds I found. Just like it happens in the dreams. Whatever you look at, materializes to the expectations.
These might be normal but in my opinion cool anyway =).
Ah, one thing I forgot. I've had a slight headache today and remembered now that I practiced some energy cultivation before falling asleep. There were strong and dense currents of psi going through my spine, the top of my head, the back of my head as well as forehead. Maybe that also played a role..
It feels almost as if an End of the World has ended and everything has been reborn.
Heard that a couple of nights ago there had been strong Northern Lights. Well, I obviously missed it .. I think I was sleeping at that time. Maybe that's why. Don't know, but it sure feels a lot different.
Before going to sleep yesterday, I tried levitation again. That felt different too, it felt a lot more real than it ever has. The sound of weight being lifted off the bed springs, the floaty feeling of weighing less and less. Maybe that's why. Don't know either.
Went to see the Amway advertisement of a dad's friend. I was quite skeptical and didn't like it there at first, strange smirk on my face and lamps blinking. At some point I realized it actually doesn't make a difference where I am. It's a lousy excuse to feel comfortable in one place and uncomfortable in another. Even though my exciting game development process was interrupted with this, I can still be content with everything that is.
Took a sneak back to home, with a camera. The sky was covered in a mist-like cloud at first, sun illuminating a part of it. While taking pictures, I fancied more sun shining through. A minute or two later, a spiral-like hole had appeared in the part that had been illuminated.
 |
| Remnants of the cloud spiral |
 |
| Neat shapes |
 |
| Minced cloud |
 |
| Griddy cloud |
 |
| Dithered clouds |
 |
| And just a picture I liked |
Ah, one thing I forgot. I've had a slight headache today and remembered now that I practiced some energy cultivation before falling asleep. There were strong and dense currents of psi going through my spine, the top of my head, the back of my head as well as forehead. Maybe that also played a role..
Saturday, August 6, 2011
None of that ever happened
Wind was blowing some sort of a paper thing around on the road. Managed to lift it for a sec.
The stuff that flies from dandelion flowers, that's also good to fly around with.
Was geisting HardFaults on electronics at work again. There's a board and software that I'm testing before radiation tests. Its output showed quite a lot of watchdog resets and real-time clock time skew events. There were distinct time periods when these anomalies occurred very frequently. For most of the time, there were no anomalies.
I've often come to notice that when I look at the memory leds blinking, they sometimes stop blinking for a longer time period (time skew) or I would see it resetting. What's strange about it, when I later check the data, I see that none of what I saw actually happened (perfectly normal operation during that time). Quantum mechanics sure is weird.
Also, I sometimes found that some of my code had disappeared. No trace of it (couldn't undo it back) except for my memory.
This time-skew effect I've seen before. When I look at the seconds on a clock on the wall or on PC screen, it sometimes stops for multiple seconds and then jumps by multiple digits.
The stuff that flies from dandelion flowers, that's also good to fly around with.
 |
| That stuff (the seeds) |
Was geisting HardFaults on electronics at work again. There's a board and software that I'm testing before radiation tests. Its output showed quite a lot of watchdog resets and real-time clock time skew events. There were distinct time periods when these anomalies occurred very frequently. For most of the time, there were no anomalies.
I've often come to notice that when I look at the memory leds blinking, they sometimes stop blinking for a longer time period (time skew) or I would see it resetting. What's strange about it, when I later check the data, I see that none of what I saw actually happened (perfectly normal operation during that time). Quantum mechanics sure is weird.
Also, I sometimes found that some of my code had disappeared. No trace of it (couldn't undo it back) except for my memory.
This time-skew effect I've seen before. When I look at the seconds on a clock on the wall or on PC screen, it sometimes stops for multiple seconds and then jumps by multiple digits.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Night jogging
Went night-jogging with father yesterday.
The quality of dreams had a boost, psi flow is a lot better now and I'm no longer as tired as I was before.
Edit: I'm still quite tired. Laid down and practised some OBE.
Mom and sister are travelling around and exploring paranormal communities in US. Psychics, alien abductees, people communicating with angels and stuff. Well, they've been there for quite a while already. Mom had made a reading for someone, most of which has come true. Some of it still lies ahead. Sister said there's always some weird clouds following them so that they always come with thunder. Cool..
The quality of dreams had a boost, psi flow is a lot better now and I'm no longer as tired as I was before.
Edit: I'm still quite tired. Laid down and practised some OBE.
Mom and sister are travelling around and exploring paranormal communities in US. Psychics, alien abductees, people communicating with angels and stuff. Well, they've been there for quite a while already. Mom had made a reading for someone, most of which has come true. Some of it still lies ahead. Sister said there's always some weird clouds following them so that they always come with thunder. Cool..
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Dad as light as a feather
Meditated on Alar32 and his relationship with his father a couple of days ago. Visualized bringing light to them. It felt ok until I stopped it. Then it felt like it bumped back to how it was before.
While coming home yesterday, I targeted an advertisement. Wind was blowing it so that it looked like a sail bouncing back and forth. Held it bulged away from me for some time, then reversed it and held it bulged towards me. Applied stasis and it stood still without moving in the wind.
Yesterday dad said he had forgotten to eat at work, took a bus home and when he stepped off, he had difficulties sticking to the ground. He felt so light that he was afraid of levitating in front of all the people. Cool..
Finished the series of "Taken" yesterday. I was pretty tired at work today again.
Had an interesting dream today morning. I managed to pause it, wake up, glance at the clock and resume it for a few times. I was practicing levitation in the dream, having some difficulties with belief again. In that dream I did levitate, but I was afraid to do it without holding onto something.
While coming home yesterday, I targeted an advertisement. Wind was blowing it so that it looked like a sail bouncing back and forth. Held it bulged away from me for some time, then reversed it and held it bulged towards me. Applied stasis and it stood still without moving in the wind.
Yesterday dad said he had forgotten to eat at work, took a bus home and when he stepped off, he had difficulties sticking to the ground. He felt so light that he was afraid of levitating in front of all the people. Cool..
Finished the series of "Taken" yesterday. I was pretty tired at work today again.
Had an interesting dream today morning. I managed to pause it, wake up, glance at the clock and resume it for a few times. I was practicing levitation in the dream, having some difficulties with belief again. In that dream I did levitate, but I was afraid to do it without holding onto something.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Stuff falling
Spielberg's "Taken" is pretty ingenious. Watched most of the episodes with dad during the weekend. Dad said he's beginning to understand how the minds of military generals work and why the Greys treated people like animals. I find Elle's comments quite enlightening.
Was quite tired today morning. Had a lot of trouble with yawning, eyes falling shut and what not. During one of these inconvenient moments loud noise broke loose as spoons, mugs and dishes started falling into the sink. Seemed rather strange, because the windows were barely open and there was barely any air movement in the room. Also, it had been 10 minutes or more since anyone had gone anywhere near that sink. The shelves behind me made a loud pop some seconds after that event.
Noticed that the clock was 11.11 the 2nd time I glanced at it. Also, it's August 1st. Finished a pack of cookies and when I was about to throw the paper into the garbage bin, I noticed that the "best before" date was 1/11/11.
Had a deja vu of a situation that didn't manifest again. The emotion that seemed to have caused it, came from the dreams I had today morning. I'm glad it didn't happen.
While reading Alar34's journal and after that, furniture was snapping all over the apartment.
Talked to dad about the dishes that fell into the sink at work. A moment later we were about to watch the next episode of "Taken", which happened to be called "Dropping the dishes". Stuff was still snapping loud during the film.
Was quite tired today morning. Had a lot of trouble with yawning, eyes falling shut and what not. During one of these inconvenient moments loud noise broke loose as spoons, mugs and dishes started falling into the sink. Seemed rather strange, because the windows were barely open and there was barely any air movement in the room. Also, it had been 10 minutes or more since anyone had gone anywhere near that sink. The shelves behind me made a loud pop some seconds after that event.
Noticed that the clock was 11.11 the 2nd time I glanced at it. Also, it's August 1st. Finished a pack of cookies and when I was about to throw the paper into the garbage bin, I noticed that the "best before" date was 1/11/11.
Had a deja vu of a situation that didn't manifest again. The emotion that seemed to have caused it, came from the dreams I had today morning. I'm glad it didn't happen.
While reading Alar34's journal and after that, furniture was snapping all over the apartment.
Talked to dad about the dishes that fell into the sink at work. A moment later we were about to watch the next episode of "Taken", which happened to be called "Dropping the dishes". Stuff was still snapping loud during the film.
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