Yellow light in green woods

I've still been practicing some OBE stuff, but it feels like the motivation is fading. Just sleeping a lot lately.

Caught a little bit of cold at uncle's concert yesterday evening. Throat feels a bit sore.

After taking a nap just a moment ago, I played around with pk just before fully waking up. Tried to lift my body weight from the mattress. I saw a yellow light on a leaf-green background around me, which reminded me of being in a leaf-tree forest, sun shining through the leaves. The more I pushed myself upwards (or the more I felt being pushed), the brighter this yellow light became. This light amazed me, because it felt so soft and pure. For some reason, when I think about myself, I don't feel it. I seem to be convinced that I couldn't possibly be so good that I could feel like this towards myself. This is probably why it boggled my mind when I saw that light coming from me. How can such a heavenly light come out from the middle of a dark nowhere? There has to be a light-source, a hole in the dark cover, from where the true self shines through.

Complex web

Wanted to experience an OBE or two yesterday night. While waiting for the body to fall asleep, I suddenly saw the body as a complex web of subsystems and connections between them. These fractal-like mountains of subsystems looked dark on a greenish yellow gradient background. The outline of these "mountains" fit within the shape of the body.

Along with the body, my mind was slipping as well. So, I gave willpower a boost and tried to focus it all on the point where I wanted to OBE to (Moon). Although I started to feel my presence becoming stronger at the destination, body cells also became excited. Body woke up and it became even more difficult to keep focus on the destination. I guess boosting willpower is not a very good idea for pk and OBE practice.

CFL glowing

For a short moment, I saw a part of the Compact Fluorescent Lamp (CFL) glowing yesterday evening (it was switched off). I only saw it from the corner of my eyes.

Approached it with my analytical mind, trying to figure out if it might have been the LED on my shaving machine or the headlights of a car parking. Looked at the CFL from multiple angles, but the LED didn't shine through the spiral at all. The same seemed to be the case with car lights. Moreover, the part of the bulb that glowed, was facing away from the window. The first thought that popped into mind was static electricity - these bulbs work on high voltage. Though, I hadn't been close enough for this.

Cool. It would be fun to get this consistent enough =). 

Edit: It was static electricity. The lamp seems to be amazingly sensitive to electrostatically charged objects moving around in the room.

Lately I've been watching birds flying, imagining, how flying looks & feels like. It often feels pretty surreal to look back on the road and keep walking, feeling birds flying above me. Took a nap and thought it would be fun to see and feel through a bird's body. Saw a girl walking a dog instead. <snor>. Fell asleep.

Practiced some energy manipulation before going to sleep. Gathered psi below my feet for balance and then started leaning myself forward, slowly. As I was leaning forward, a shield popped up in front of me and pushed me back. Tried to lean forward as much as possible, without falling over. It was pretty fun, but for some reason this shield didn't work when I had leaned too far .. fell to bed.


Hm, 11 *C, 11:11:00 AM at the time of writing this.

Psychic hand-made explosives

With these recent OBE attempts, I feel I've changed. A couple of days ago I felt like a lot of little pieces of the puzzle started coming together. My self-confidence has experienced a boost. Courage seems to be rising as well. It seems like there is barely any doubt left .. now I'm certain that pk is real.


Actually, I even feel I've become a bit arrogant and need to polish it so that I wouldn't hurt others by saying something off. Yesterday I made 1 mistake, today I made 4 mistakes in my behavior.


Ex minister of defense held a lecture today. In his speech, he mentioned physical, chemical and astrological weaponry. I thought I misheard it and asked what he meant by astronomical weapons. <laughter>. It turned out I had heard it correctly .. he said astrological and meant all kind of psychic attacks. Also, he mentioned that emergency service had officially ordered hundreds of water witches for detecting bombs. Cool..


Just slept this night. Practiced for OBEs in the morning. This time I simply relaxed all muscles and lied in bed, waiting. Occasionally told the body to sleep. It sometimes triggered uncontrollable movements to keep itself awake. Continued with the waiting, trying to keep the mind more-or-less silent but awake. 


A syringe construct with a sharp needle popped up. I moved it out onto the balcony and started dissolving it. It seemed to have consisted of at least 3 different layers that I had to dissolve separately. When it had dissolved, I realized that I was on the balcony, seeing my surroundings .. <startled back into body>.


Some kind of a wandering thought brought me into the living room. When I became aware that I was seeing my surroundings again, I got snapped back into body.


Tried to OBE to the Moon again, though, this attempt didn't last too long. I don't know what I saw, but it looked as if there were a wall to my right. A wall covered in / made of the same dust that was everywhere else on the surface of the Moon.


It seems that there's "too many mind" again - should meditate again sometime soon.


Realized that I had barely eaten anything for the last couple of days.

Hm, came back to my room from the kitchen and noticed that there was 11:11 on the projector clock. Also, there seems to be 11:11 on post time.

Blackout, a big one

Someone has set up a toy windmill on their balcony across the street again. It cheers me up each time I see it. 

I'm falling asleep during OBE practices more easily again.

This time I set myself a goal, but it seems like it would take ::sigh:: some time before I'm able to achieve it. I wanted to have an OBE and fly to the Moon, to look for aliens and owtwelve's practice grounds =P.

Realized I was about to fall asleep again and was about to wake up. I had been observing Mom. She asked something from someone else in the same room and wrote down some kind of a meeting time that seemed work-related (6 PM or something, if I recall it correctly).  Hopefully she doesn't go calling us, asking "What happened? Are you alright?" due to having felt my presence again =D. She once did, after a meditation session in a tent at our summerhouse. Can't find that blog entry though..

Woke up and attempted to have an OBE.
<something happened, everything went dark and UPS-es started beeping>
Opened my eyes and went to the balcony. It looked as if about 1/4 of the town was dark. The blackout lasted for 30 minutes.

Edit: According to experts, the protection fuses had switched off seemingly without a reason. Blackout lasted for 35 minutes.

Since there was no electricity, I thought it would be fun to practice pk on the lamp, trying to light it up. I overestimated my courage and stopped it before it happened. I had lost awareness of my hands and felt the lamp with all its wiring instead. Awareness was gathering in the lamp from the rest of my body as well (I could still see it through the physical eyes though). The feeling of "atmospheric density" around the lamp (me) was reaching a level where I became afraid of accidentally shattering it. It contains a small amount of mercury, so it wouldn't be a very good idea to break it.

Electricity was back. Probably fell asleep. I had decided to sleep with the balcony door open this time. Well, it turned out quite cold and even the warm socks of psi were not enough that I had conjured before the OBE attempts. The rest of the body was cold as well. Although it's about 28 - 29 *C in the sun during the day, I guess it's about 5 *C at night (at least it was 9 *C in the morning, when the sun was out). Didn't sleep too well..

A few ideas

It seems that demotivation can be overcome with persistence. Didn't feel like practicing for OBEs it this morning (again), so I just started practicing and motivation started growing.

Noticed that I pop back in body whenever I think of something. I was focusing on the feeling of being at the bookshelf, browsing through books. There seemed to be a bug - a book too thick. Thought "What the hell" and I was back. Another thing that often seems to pop me back is memory access. When I try to remember something, I usually notice a long startup delay and when I use the memory after that, I gradually start feeling my body again.

Edit: The cover of that thick book looked plain white. There actually is a book that thick on the shelf, but it has a dark cover.

Sometimes I think I get it confused with dreaming and for some reason, wake up on an attempt to increase awareness.

The levitation method didn't seem to work yesterday evening nor today morning. For some reason, it has become a bit more difficult to visualize the feeling of levitation again. Used a method that I think I first read from psi-pog (focusing on points outside the body so that with each point, awareness draws further away from the body). There's a method that popped into my mind a couple of days ago. I would visualize myself next to the bed, jumping on the floor. The goal is to get it real enough so that I can feel the floor and see outside of the balcony window just like I would when jumping on the floor with a body. However, so far the feeling of me jumping in the body has always startled me and brought me back.

Galactic Federation of Light

Couldn't motivate myself to practice leaving for OBE-s before waking up in the morning. Though, everything feels different from what it used to (brighter and more shifty). Even if it's only partial OBE-s, it's still worth keeping at it. Haven't practiced pk for the last few days. Simply meditating and making attempts at OBE-s already seems fair enough.

Watched a video from Galactic Federation of Light that sister had suggested to me (this one). Or more accurately, I watched most of it. I found it ironic that he sounded like Mr. Smith from The Matrix. Everything he said that science didn't accept, I had heard from physicists, biologists and other scientists before him (some of which was already stated about 100 years ago by Max Planck and others). At first I had the urge to comment on it (comments were disabled), but then I realized that it's all a matter of definition, really. He had defined science differently and the science he was angry at, wasn't the same science that I love. I have to admit, he had a lot of knowledge. However, his arrogance and hatred made it all seem rather suspicious. Why should one use these character properties to convey something this divine? In my opinion, this way the most important point of it all goes missing - unconditional love and everything that derives from it. <Sister came home, which was quite unexpected>

Watched some more Serial Experiments Lain with dad. Finished the series. I think I'm starting to understand the Matrix trilogy, but Lain still "bakes my noodles" =P.

Have been forgetting to mention that I've noticed an increase in the frequency of these snapping sounds. I've started to feel them somehow. With the recent OBE practices, I've started seeing some weird stuff flying around (bright spots, but a bit different this time - moving around in 3d). Also, the feeling of everything bending, shifting and wobbling around me has changed .. I think it wobbles more now.

Dangerous subliminal thoughts

My control has dropped again. While writing thesis text on radiation and radiation testing, I feel like I'm subconsciously increasing the radiation levels around me. It's difficult to read text without seeing and feeling it through, but on the other hand, I don't like harmful geisting. I'm glad that not everything manifests that pops into my mind. Should either meditate on Ganesha or visit that old hermit in my visualized world again.

A resemblance to Piccolo in "Dragon ball", Neo and Smith in "Matrix" and Lain and Wild Lain in "Serial Experiments Lain" - all battling with themselves. How should one actually go about solving this issue?

Meditated a little, but started feeling sleepy again. Went to bed and tried some OBE techniques again, but felt a bit tired and demotivated for this. Yesterday's 1.5 hours of constantly shooting techniques and trying to get out were pretty tiring. Fell asleep with both mind and body again. Tried again before waking up.

Ate something, watched a couple of Rich2150x's videos on OBE vibrations. My eyes kept falling shut and I was yawning even though I slept well at night and even slept for a couple of hours during the day. 

Anyway, went to bed and started practicing leaving for an OBE again (another session of at least 1.5 hours). This time I used the levitation method instead. Occasionally I also focused on the static noise in the background. Still no full OBE-s, but this time it occasionally felt somewhat real already. When I occasionally woke up, it felt as if I had had an OBE - a lot of my awareness had to gather back into the body.

Sneaky healing

About a week ago I made a secret attempt to heal dad's shoulder. He hadn't been able to sleep at night because of the pain. The following 2 days, it didn't hurt and he said it only itched a little and felt a bit numb. Then it started to hurt again. He wondered if he had somehow healed himself with energy while we were watching the Matrix. I didn't tell him about my attempt.

Went jogging with dad again.

For the last few days, I've been falling asleep on meditation and pk attempts. I figured I had a deficiency of vitamins and minerals again.

Watched some layers of Serial Experiments Lain with dad.

Owltwelve has posted a lot of OBE videos on the forums that I had skipped for later. Watched some of them yesterday night. It seems that I have been using a lot of the methods for reaching an OBE, but I still haven't had a full OBE.

Cycled through the techniques and kept trying to leave in a lot of different ways for about 1.5 hours. Well, I always kept falling back before I got far enough with the deepening. Stuff either snapped really loud or focus just hopped back on the body out of habit. Often the body was all twitching and it was difficult to keep from moving it (or keep it from moving). There were a couple of semi-successful attempts as well.

After about 1.5 hours, both my mind and body started to fall asleep and my attempts became more chaotic. Sometimes I found myself in the living-room, popped back in body and woke up. Sometimes I was observing something (can't remember what), sun shining on it (even though it was a couple of hours past midnight).

With these practices, the back of my skull started to hurt from pressure. While rubbing hands in front of my face, outside of physical hands, I started feeling pressure on my 3rd eye.

GRUB

While meditating in bed, before falling asleep yesterday night, I occasionally noticed that I was seeing a yellow light around my head. When I focused in on it, I started seeing a huge rush of gold and jewels out of the top of my head.

Something happened to my linux partition. GRUB now only prints "GRUB" on the screen and then hangs.

After hours of debugging, I found out that everything is fine except that my Windows Bootloader no longer boots linux. So that's the update that it installed yesterday =/. Got it working .. better than it used to.

Found laptopkeys.com, thought of ordering a new key and that no. 2 no longer stays in place. Got to work on fixing stuff with pk.

There was still time for the lecture and I focused on a door that happened to be open. Experienced that familiar habit of stopping it whenever it would move too noticeably. Though, moving it wasn't my goal in the first place, I just wanted to improve my atmospheric density which I hadn't felt for a few days or so. When I rose up and started walking, the weird but cool feeling of atmospheric density was there again.

My mobile phone has been acting weird recently. It acts almost like it did one morning when I was tired and thought "Shut up". It no longer rings, only beeps when someone is calling or when there's a clock alarm. With an alarm, it no longer shows anything on the screen. Weird.

Watched Matrix Reloaded with father and discussed some of this stuff again yesterday.

Meditated in bed before falling asleep. When I was about to experience an OBE, the surroundings snapped loud, startling me back. 

There was a strange ticking noise coming from somewhere .. kind of reminded the sound of the radiometer spinning really fast. I woke up, took a look at it and it was standing still.

In dreams, we were exploring a building (again), while trying to avoid being caught (it was a restricted area). Used something similar to remote viewing or OBE to spy on the crew and look around. At first I couldn't do this for very long .. my focus became fuzzy and I lost track of my surroundings. Later I could hold my focus much longer and easily move around in the restricted area without being seen.

Nice timing

Watched Matrix with father yesterday evening. We occasionally paused it and had little discussions. A lot of thanks, dad .. quite a few pieces of the puzzle clicked together again. Now I understand better why progress has to be smooth and why we can't just suddenly break through the barrier of doubt and disbelief - it would be like running kamikaze onto an unknown minefield. That's why we have a hard time practicing without belief at first (we're cautious). With each round, the wall crumbles a little and we see more of what's out there. This way we learn the unknown without injuring ourselves.

About 6 hours of sleeptime and yawning at lectures again. After the last lecture, I asked the lecturer a few questions and went to the 1st floor. I felt like visiting our "mission control room" even though I couldn't think of a reason why I should go there. It felt a bit queer opening the door and saying Hi and then just leaving the room again. Well, what the heck =P .. stepped in.

Lol, a cool friend had come back from ESTEC and said he had just clicked on the "Send" button when I opened the door =D. He had just sent me an e-mail in order to arrange a meeting. Perfect timing. He offered some waffles with honey - another good reason for stepping by =P.

Walked home, still laughing it off on the way. It was quite windy and I decided to gather my courage, take pictures and record a pk attempt on flags. Well, it didn't feel very awesome, but I hope it would at least spark some inspiration. Funny, how people who passed by, commented on me taking pictures of the flooded river.

Oh, forgot to mention that the radiometer stood still again yesterday. I put it even closer to that 100W halogen lamp .. less than 1 inch now.

Uploading the video took roughly 4 hours. So, I slept for a few hours. Before falling asleep, I spotted the stage of seeing vivid imagery. There was an asian woman having her hair cut with a knife. I remember that she had quite an interesting point of view on everything. I felt love towards her through herself.

Levitation attempt

Practiced two of owltwelve's energy cultivation exercises last night. First I gathered psi below my feet to balance the body. Then practiced moving psi through my hands, which I hadn't done for a while again.

Practiced some pranayama exercises on top of that. The effect of pranayama seemed a lot more noticeable after some energy manipulation exercises. My body was filled with psi and it made me sweat a lot.

I noticed that when I looked at the shelf that was in front of me, it looked like it was starting to lift slowly, snapping on the way. This sparked an idea .. to attempt levitation by looking at my feet and focusing on the same feeling. So far I have avoided looking down, thinking that it could fire some doubty reflexes or something.

Looked at my crossed legs and started to feel them becoming lighter. The floor snapped below me. A lot of snapping was going on around me. Suddenly a bright red dot appeared to my right and slowly faded out when I looked at it. This brought me out of focus.

Attempted the same for a few more times, in lotus pose, while standing in front of the mirror. Stuff snapped, I felt myself become lighter, but no big and well-visible effect yet.

In the morning, there were rims with the shapes of my feet in the carpet.

Ate before gym .. a big mistake. Got exhausted real quick. I was sitting there, wondering why it was so quiet. When I realized it was music that was missing, I thought "Where's music?" ♩ ♬ ♪ ♫ - someone turned the radio on.

Neat, we're getting free newspapers =). There was a week of free newspapers as an ad. Its trial ended and there was a week without newspapers. Today there was another newspaper in our mailbox.

Dad had a precognitive dream and described what our home would look like. I really liked it.

New friend .. in dreams

Became friends with someone in a dream. We had met before, but for some reason, I hadn't shaken hands with him yet. He was a musician (I think I had listened to a few songs of his) and a hobby artist. He gave me one of his art journals, a book with tiny pieces of art that he had made (manipulated photos, ink illustrations, logos and stuff). So, I was browsing it at home one morning.

Sought for a nice pencil. Found a red one .. it was a weird one, because it wiggled, didn't draw very well and it seemed to be permanent or something. Tattooed "I'm successful" on my left arm to boost my self-confidence construct.

Oh man, I feel even more empty of psi than I would after a wet dream. And I'm real clumsy today. I feel like detaching from everything and meditating a lot.

There's a forum discussion on seeing bright little dots moving around in the sky. Meditated some and stared at the sky. Some dots that I saw were floaters, but some seemed to have distance to them and it didn't matter how I looked at them (via direct or peripheral vision). There were a few larger bright transparent blurbs flying over a building. Then 3 dark blurbs flew over the building in the same direction. At first I thought they were birds, but they didn't have physical bodies .. just blurbs.

Another offensive e-mail. It seems that she didn't get as much as she wanted. Well, I no longer care. This caught me off guard, but now I'm better prepared.

The other table just snapped 3-4 times in a row.

Lamb

For some reason, I kept messing up words, forgetting expressions and names. It didn't feel good at all .. I was pretty embarrassed and not very content with myself this way. Sought for some bad explanations on why this is happening. This undermined the self-confidence in succeeding that I had built with the last few days. Strangely my wording didn't seem to bother anyone else.

While walking back home, there was something sliding on the road. A few cars passed by and it seemed to have been sliding in the drafts. I got curious and practiced some pk on it when it was just about to slow down and stop. The traffic lights were red and no cars were driving near it; also, wind didn't seem to be strong enough to slide something like that. Anyway, I slid it forward with the same speed, next to an edge of the road. I wanted to save it from being run over by cars. Uh oh, the traffic lights went green. I sharply changed its direction towards the edge and sped it up. It slid against the edge, but couldn't get up. I tried to lift it off enough so that wind would help me push it up the edge, but I didn't quite make it. I had already walked past it.

I was not bold enough to tape anything. Why would I carry a camera with me if I'm afraid to use it in public? =S..

Hm, sister wrote a few offensive e-mails as a response to a mail I had meant to be inspiring. In fact, I felt good on how that mail came out .. I even learned something new from my answers to her. 

It was interesting to observe how my heart started beating fast when I read her mails. I calmed it down and cleared my mind by focusing on the feeling of my surroundings. When I looked back at the mails, my heart started pounding again. Overcame it a few minutes later, but muscles all over my body started twitching. I think I was being vamped. Maybe that's why I was having trouble in the morning.

I realized this and felt a spider web around me that was pushing my psi channels shut. Then I broke free and suddenly the muscle twitching was gone. Some minor muscles still twitch a little.

I feel my biofield building itself up again. It feels like cold rushes moving around and the aura straightening its hair again, becoming softer.


Perhaps she'll use my psi wisely. Hopefully. 
Sorry to everyone I may have accidentally vamped .. triple bow.

Artillery base

Have been tracing all doubty thoughts that pop up in my mind, hacking in and replacing them with what I intend to achieve instead.

That broken button '2' has recently been coming off more frequently. Broke my trodden thought-patterns and attempted to fix it with pk yesterday. I was amazed that the button then stayed in place for a lot longer than before. When already the vibrations of the rest of the keyboard made the button jump off, then now I could even press on it for about 5-6 times before it flew.

Before I woke up at 6 AM today morning, an alarm went off in my dreams. I couldn't find the source of the alarm - mobile phone didn't show any signs of an alarm being set, nothing on the laptop. The alarm stopped and a real alarm went off .. it was 6 AM .. off for an excursion to an artillery base.

I took a seat and projected the intent that noone would sit next to me so that I could practice some pk while on the way. A friend walked past me. Another buddy came and thought about sitting next to me for some seconds, but then changed his mind and took a seat further back.

Stared at a mini-bus on the same parking lot. I attempted to move it slightly forward, backward and press the chassis down on different springs. Although I could feel it moving, I think I could also see it moving a little. Though, I can't be sure .. it's the same with pk on a table; I see it moving and I feel it moving, but I can't hear it moving and probably others can't see it moving either. Anyway, it had handbrake on and it seemed to stop moving past some certain distance.

Well, I couldn't help but fall asleep in the bus. I was home, solving problems for Thermodynamics and Statistical Physics when I heard a strange sqeaky noise and poofed back into the bus with my consciousness. Funny how I now (back at home) easily solved the rest of the problems that I had been messing with for already a week or so.

Tried to avoid using a jacket even though it was windy and maybe 7*C or something. Practiced stasis field on wind when it was getting cold. Almost everyone else were wearing hats and jackets, even soldiers, who are probably more used to the wind.

Ethics

Pranayama practice was different yesterday evening. I've found that when one focuses on something other than their breathing while performing breathing exercises, then it's less likely to become out-of-breath. I focused on the reflection of street lamps and other buildings on the balcony door while practicing pranayama and occasionally lost awareness of my body.

Before falling asleep, I almost had an OBE as a result of focusing on a blank state of mind for long enough.

By acting skeptical, we will be skeptical.


Decided that I would continue practicing pk in public. If someone asks "What the heck is this?" then the best answer in my opinion would be "That's exactly what it is." Thinking this way shouldn't introduce any constructs that would hinder one's progress. This might make people ask us to always prove them that it's real, which might make our everyday lives crazy. On the other hand, why would we want to hold on to it anyway .. it feels so fake and temporary. It doesn't matter what others think of us and it's not even worth worrying about. It's worse to be stagnant than look crazy.

Treasure Hunter's video still blows my mind:

While crossing the pedestrian bridge today, talking with a friend, I felt the bridge and asphalt bending around my feet like never before.

Bored silly

Woke up at 6.30 AM again. Went to school. The first was the practical for Embedded Systems, for which I had already finished all the tasks the last time (even added some "more advanced stuff" to cure the boredom the last time). Then the lecture of Embedded Systems, where I was yawning and pecking sleep in the front row again =D. No, the lecturer isn't bad and the lectures aren't bad either, but it's just .. boring.

Focused on the screen, attempting to draw smiley faces on it. I could see the smiley faces, though, they were transparent and raw psi without any flaring. No matter how I focused on these smiley faces being of specific colors, they didn't become visible like that.

Occasionally targeted the blackboard sponge in an attempt to make it bounce or something .. didn't happen. Sometimes focused on a towel that was hanging at the faucet. I think I could swing it a little.

After this lecture, I went to wait for the next one. Leaned my head against a wooden cabinet door and practiced making it feel softer to my head. In the end, it didn't feel solid and hard at all. Though, I no longer felt so sleepy.

Stared outside the window. There were a spruce and a few leaf trees that I tried to bend. The effect was most noticeable on the spruce .. it swayed quite a bit from a standstill. Enough for it to be visible from about 60 meters. At some point this whole tree bending started to feel too violent and I looked for something better.

There was a flag on the roof of a student corporation building. It was flapping to my right and I decided to reverse it. Well, it occasionally flapped towards me, but rarely did it flap against the direction of the wind around it. I looked away for a few seconds and when I looked back, wind changed direction and the flag was now flapping towards my left.

Recording it would've looked rather suspicious, I think. I'm not a daredevil when friends might start to doubt my sanity.

Slept during the day. Sometimes it feels like I'm hanging around somewhere in the real world, without a body. Decided to wake up. Woke up and at the same moment, someone called .. wrong number. Haven't had any of those for ten years or something. I'm pretty much content with the timing though =).

Swimmin' against flow

When we were out jogging with father yesterday morning, there was always wind against us for the last few kilometers. No matter where or how quickly we turned, it was always against us. Even between the buildings, there was wind coming from the walls towards us. It was fun, but always running against a strong cold wind was a bit exhausting.

Went to lab. On my way there, there was a plastic bag, which started rolling. There didn't seem to be much wind or at least, I didn't sense any .. yet. The bag was rolling in the direction of a short concrete wall for a cellar entry. It suddenly gained altitude before the wall and flew over it, falling down on the other side. That looked cool.

Some time later, I was out in the wind, playing around with leaves and stuff flying around. Things moved more-or-less according to my intention. Wind was often changing directions around me, sometimes causing small whirlwinds to appear.

Though, things often moved in queer ways without any pk attempts on them. A chocolate wrapper had a lift-off and went flying in a certain direction. Then suddenly it skidded in mid-air, turned around and flew back to where it first took off.

Spotted a perfect shape in the sky .. a cloud with the shape of a rake head. Every pin was of the same width, length and density. Though, it took me maybe 15 seconds to get the camera out and it had already dissolved quite a bit by that time. About 30 seconds later, this funny cloud was no more :'(.

At the lab, I was slightly moody. We were trying to test another guy's code, but nothing worked. First the right port didn't appear (took a few times of replugging the cable to get it to recognize the port). Computer programs hanged so that even Task Manager couldn't kill them. After killing the program, another program stopped responding. Right after, his mouse started teleporting around the screen, clicking at random places. We were laughing it off and my mood was slightly changing for the better. He replugged the cable again and <a really loud snap somewhere in the room> happened at that exact time. And from that moment on, everything was working well again.

Either my mood changes when there's a blockage somewhere along my spine or a blockage occurs when my mood changes. I guess this is what makes me feel uncomfortable. Something in the stomach seems to be another cause.

Sleep yoga

There seems to be a correlation between "being drained by morning" and sleeping in certain postures. When I sleep straight with my heels crossed, I soon feel my body tingling with psi. When I just sleep straight, I feel slightly less energized afterwards. Sleeping "crouched" I think blocks psi pathways and there are leaks going on everywhere .. usually I have started to feel drained within minutes. It's like performing hatha yoga in sleep. Unfortunately, the book on dream yoga hasn't arrived yet .. ordered it 3 weeks ago, I think.

Bent a tree with ease while looking out of the window in a dream. It wasn't very efficient, but it worked well. I wish it were real =).

Meditation on that Ganesha statue has an awesome effect. Two days ago, I noticed that father had changed remarkably again .. when I meditate, almost everyone around me become nice, calm and lovely. Yesterday I felt ecstatic when I came home. The feelings of love, peace and joy are more intense than before. Thanks for the statue, Mom!

Visited the department store again with that hanging sign and vent pipe behind it. Even though it was more crowded and more people were walking around, the sign stood still. Maybe the vent pipe hadn't been turned on .. but why shouldn't it have been turned on? Perhaps it was a false alarm of a false alarm back here: http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2011/03/hit-sign.html. When I focused on the sign and tried to swing it like I had done with the tree in the dream .. it started swinging from a stand-still. From then afterwards, the sign was always swinging whenever I looked at it (like the last time).

u-tube crash

Meditated on Ganesha again, but didn't get so deep into the emptiness as yesterday.

Hm, while listening to music on youtube, suddenly a feeling of "that's the last song" popped up. I had the playlist on shuffle & repeat, so I checked the page when there had been silence for some time.

500 Internal Server Error

Sorry, something went wrong.

A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.

If you see them, show them this information:

PWgn-J94TwXzsgSz1VmcV2YQexmtdrzgtfChkv1Dn9pOD5HbFInRxvdPZJoM and so on...

=D Wow, I haven't seen that one before.

Focus

I think I made a semi-conscious decision on changing my pk practices. These "chest" exercises are back, but not only during meditation. Unpleasant thoughts pop up when I let my mind wander too much. I've been somewhat afraid of sharp blades for quite a while and constructs of knives start forming around me when I'm beginning to lose focus. Even though they occasionally fly through me, they don't injure me. Quite challenging for self-control.

Concentrating on the wall in front of me worked pretty well. It would be awesome to be able to completely focus on one thought for about an hour.

I thought I would go jogging .. guess not, pants haven't been washed. Thought I would go to gym then .. nope, those pants haven't been washed either. Can't let me escape my meditation =D.

Meditated on a Ganesha statue. Acquired the feeling of the statue and the feeling that I think this statue was meant to relay. The statue was wisely smiling at my consciousness, easily penetrating my ego layer. When I popped out of focus and thought I've got the feeling of it, it was there, smiling again, as if asking: "You really think so?"

After slipping with my focus, I started feeling tired again, just like I did before starting meditation. Went to bed and continued meditation in the dreams. My ego suit (or eggar suit, like Rich2150x called it =D) now feels soft and clean.

Meditated on Ganesha again before bed. There's this feeling of unconditional love and gentleness to this statue and when I focus on this, the atmospheric density around my head gets a boost and I start feeling warm all over.

Though, this feeling was gone by the next morning. Didn't feel too comfortable.

Atmospheric density

Recently I've been focusing on increasing atmospheric density around me again. I visualize the feeling of walking around in water and use the feeling to gather psi around me. Crossing the pedestrian bridge becomes more and more weird and while passing by other people, I sometimes feel the fields of denser psi interacting.

The feeling that I got from the dream a few days ago has been popping up occasionally. When it does, I feel a lot more connected to everything and my potential feels unbounded.

While at a lecture, where I was showing "respect" to a lecturer by yawning and falling asleep in the front row, I happened to stare at the edge of the table. I had been focusing on psi moving around to keep myself awake and I saw a great amount of psi rising over the edge of the table. At first I thought it was the projector or something that's flickering at 50 Hz, but when I looked at the spot a few more seconds, it became amazingly vivid.

After trying to open the lab door with the lock bolt halfway out, I came to the conclusion that it must have been phasing. When we left the room with someone else, I felt like playing a prank and intended on something funny happening with the door while he was trying to lock it. A moment later he went like "WTF?" and unlocked the door again XD. The latch bolt had become stuck. It started working a few seconds later again.

Finished Doom 3. Actually, it became really good by the end. Didn't get to guessing locker codes, but by the end, I felt where monsters spawned, where they were going to spawn and for most of the time, managed to plan ahead. While playing this, the density of psi around me sometimes changed.

It was raining slightly .. a perfect opportunity for rainshield practice. I've also been targeting puddles and the river for attempts on deforming water surface recently.

Attempted pk pull on a fridge door at the supermarket. It snapped, but didn't open yet.

While listening to soma.fm groovesalad today evening, I occasionally felt big waves of tingling run over my brain. The waves started somewhere from the upper-back of the neck and moved to the forehead. It's like the chills that I get from anything that I really enjoy.

Translating

While I was translating dad's abduction article to English, I felt occasional faint and dull painstrikes as well as density warps somewhere at the top of my head. Happened to raise my eyes at some point and noticed that the radiometer had become really slow again. About 4 cm from the 100 W halogen lamp (as close as I dare to put it without breaking it), I think. Recorded my attempts to slow it down further with active stasis field again. It slowed down, but didn't become to a total standstill.

With each sentence that I translate, I feel so in it that I can almost sense the thoughts of the beings whom father accompanied. Occasionally I started to feel a strong sensation of lifting up. Also, while reading, I could feel the paper and see it slightly moving around, changing shape.

Ok, I think the first write of it is done. Got to reread it, fix some bugs and then send it to someone else for reading. Here it is:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/13457124/alar_ufo.pdf 

That mysterious feeling

Although that specific feeling had already dissolved greatly by the end of the dream, I tried to remember it and focus on the feeling. While walking to school and back home, I focused on the feeling every time my mind started chattering. The feeling popped up in the middle of a lecture and a seminar. Felt really calm and focused today. There were barely any thoughts in my mind.