Billiard

It was a busy weekend - a satellite workshop from early Friday morning till Sunday evening, so I didn't even have the time to do homework. =P But that doesn't mean no weird stuff happened.


Endel and Tavo were playing billiard. Tavo is by far the most cool and calm person I have had the chance to meet - an embers-walker, who I really envy. I was watching the game and I felt like practicing PK on the billiard balls. At first I was keeping it back, afraid that the balls would move in some abnormal way and that someone would notice. Then, at some moment I thought what the heck and just tried to move a ball into a hole that Tavo had hit. The ball was rolling straight towards one of the walls, when suddenly it started to curve towards the hole and stopped right in front of it. Tavo said something in the lines of: "Did you see how that ball just moved? The table must be tilted pretty hard." I just replied: "Yeah, I saw it."

Thanks to subconscious

Having studied for an exam during the weekend, I didn't have the time to practice for the abusive and strict tests of "Method of functional programming" aka Haskell. However, as I had failed the last and most abusive test (15 minutes for manually tracing through 4 pages of recursive and obfuscated code), I couldn't allow another failure - my results had already dropped down to 50%. So, I needed at least 2 points of 4 in the today's test.


I started thinking through the last two questions and left the first 2 as the last (had no idea what to write there). Well, I answered one of the first questions, but when I reviewed the first questions (only 3 minutes left till the end of the test), a few thoughts popped into my mind. I rewrote the answer to one of them although it didn't make any sense to me ("no" had come to my mind) and for the other answer, the way to acquire the answer came up (at least this one seemed logical).


To my surprise, all other answers were incorrect (a typo + a totally wrong answer) except for the first two that I had guessed right at the last minutes.


Also, a few times during the last few days, while walking home from school, something similar has happened: I'm trying to walk towards the other side of the road in order to walk past someone or something. While trying to do so, I get a feeling like "Stop, not yet" and a fraction of a second later a bicycle whooshes past - I would've caused a crash if I had actually tried to change the side of the road.

PK and breathing

Tried to spin the psi-wheel uncovered again a couple of days ago and I couldn't do it. I kept falling asleep and almost got a headache from trying too hard. I didn't give up yet and about 10 minutes later, I felt my left nostril opening and the right one closing (breath flow changed from Pingala back to Ida). At the moment it did, my mind became clear for a moment and the psi-wheel twitched. Well, I was still to tired to get it going correctly.


Having messed with school more than psionics the last few weeks in addition to the fact that I wasn't able to spin it a couple of days ago, yesterday I decided to just place the psi-wheel on the table uncovered (while still blocking my vision and breath with its semi-transparent plastic cover) and start recording. It spun .. occasionally, although the video became really boring (psi-wheel stood still for most of the 10 minutes).


Edit: Uploaded it - here.


Tried it again today evening, but achieved the same result as a few days before - didn't move. At first I thought it was because I was thinking about the upcoming exam. A while later I noticed that I had been breathing through Pingala for a couple of hours already (since we started watching Naruto with my father).


Although breathing through my right nostril makes me sleepy and unable to concentrate correctly, PK shouldn't need any concentration and what is more, it shouldn't depend on the way I'm breathing (during practice, psi or prana should be flowing in Sushumna nadi anyway). This probably means that as I haven't mastered Energy Manipulation yet, I'm trying to do PK wrong.

The burden of perfectionism

I was quite tired from having slept only for 6 hours again. Being bored before the first practical, I just stared at a small table in front of the bench I was sitting on. I saw the same effect - I was able to feel it move, but it actually didn't.

I started to think that maybe I have learned bio-feedback more than PK. Well, while practicing PK on an uncovered psiwheel, I could use the same "feel it move" kind of thing to control its direction - this makes it a bit suspicious (can bio-feedback affect reality? I doubt it.)



Today I recognized a character property of mine, that is probably inherited from one of my grandfathers - perfectionism. Whenever I fail to get something done in a perfect way, I throw it away and do it again. I have been under the illusion that I'm going to learn more when I start things from scratch. 

That's wrong - this way I keep doing the same over and over again, never experiencing the perfect result (nothing can be perfect in this world). At first I thought the ability to cast anything aside and start anew was why Tibetian monks were building mandalas and throwing them into the river. I don't think that's the reason anymore and me enjoying the disposal of unfinished work is probably just masochistic. I need to use all of my previous experience and use it to the fullest in order to gain new as I can never get rid of my old experiences anyway.

I think this is one of the mindblocks I keep stumbling on.

Crosshair and interference rings

After having seen the Naruto Shippuuden episodes 154 and 155, I thought I should try to feel the surroundings while meditating again (the last time I tried it was probably a few months ago).


So, I meditated yesterday evening before going to sleep and tried to sense everything in my room. When I started to feel something, a box in the corner of my room suddenly snapped and stopped my concentration.


Today at 6 PM, I thought I should try twitching the psi-wheel again, but decided to meditate before - too much interfering thoughts. While I was meditating and occasionally nearly falling asleep, then waking up to continue meditating, I suddenly noticed that I was feeling psi flowing from the living room out onto the balcony. I remembered that when I saw colorful waves of psi flowing a while ago, the flow was in the opposite direction - from my balcony to the windows in the living room (they seemed to have penetrated the walls as if there was nothing in the way). Could it be that sun was shining from the direction of the living room and thus also shooting psi in that direction?


Anyway, I tried to twitch the covered psi-wheel after having meditated for about 20 minutes or so. I think I saw it twitching a few times, but nothing special. I tried different methods and when I noticed that I was seeing the "crosshair" again, I visualized these darker ovals bouncing into the psi-wheel and making it spin. I guess I saw it twitch a little again, but my vision seemed a bit different - I noticed that I was seeing a light and dark rim (sort of like interference rings from coherent light) around the psi-wheel. While I was looking at the rims at different angles, it all fainted and I couldn't see any rims nor the crosshair anymore.

Silent Estonians

Went to school this morning, thought I should enter the computer class earlier (perhaps I could start with the LabView practical earlier). When I entered, I saw a course companion and when she saw me, she started shining right away. She asked me for some advice on her homework in LabView. Well, I helped her and started my practical earlier.

At some moment, another course companion came and asked me what I was doing in the computer class and whether I was going to the lecture or not. Me: "What lecture, isn't there a practical coming in here?" It turned out that I had somehow remembered it all wrong again - these kind of things happen pretty often, especially when there's someone, who needs my help.

During the seminar of "Construction of matter", I was somehow different / or the whole class was different and I was the same (or the lecturer was in a different mood). For some reason, it really bugged me that every question that the lecturer asked, was followed by at least 30 minutes of total silence (Estonians..). Anyway, as I'm one too, I'm usually the same and fail to notice it - this time it seemed like a total waste of time.

While coming home, my old rapper friend Fat Matu (Paks Matu) suddenly came into my mind and I remembered, how he had proposed playing the good ol' Age of Empires II in LAN. I hadn't seen him for a month or two. I was picking my nose and as those snot monsters kept coming, I couldn't see anywhere beyond my paper napkin. Fat Matu walked by with his rapper gang and said "Yo"; I had walked past him without even seeing him from over my napkin.. XD. Felt somewhat embarrassed - it's a shame to walk past such a good old friend without noticing..

Lend a hand

In the morning I meditated for maybe half an hour. When I had fallen into such a low state that I was dreaming at short intervals and couldn't manage to bring the focus back. Suddenly I saw someone lending a hand and I took it. After that, my focus was back to normal and I managed to stay awake again. It was weird, how detailed and real the hand looked - it was slightly transparent, looked as if it were glowing bright yellow-orange colored. I noticed that this someone was wearing a gray suit. Went to sleep afterwards.

Before going to sleep yesterday evening, I picked up the psi-wheel again and tried it uncovered. I could twitch it a few times, but whenever it started to rotate in the wrong direction, I stopped it right away and had difficulties moving it afterwards. I noticed that I had started to put more effort into PK, almost as if I'm slowly forgetting the "no concentration" method.

I also tried teleportation again, it seemed as if I could almost feel myself along with some surroundings at the destination, but I always ruined it by thinking back on the place where I was trying to teleport from (which was almost exactly half a meter away =P). I know I don't have any proof that I have teleported, but it suddenly occurred to me that I also can't prove that I haven't done it (even though I know I haven't done it). Perhaps the method of feeling oneself in different surroundings could actually be working and it's just a matter of practicing.

Some free time

Yesterday was the first free day - so I took my time ... and programmed libamc for 8 AM to 0.50 AM =P.

In the evening I tried PK on the psi-wheel again yesterday. I had decided to only try it within the closed box. I got it to twitch a little for a few times, but nothing that could be compared to the psi-wheel uncovered..

Actually, a year ago I practiced moving a plastic pendulum closed into a bottle and I also got it to twitch a few times back then. Then I usually tried to force PK by putting a lot of effort and psi into it. This time I'm trying to take it more lightly and use more the "just do it" or "don't concentrate on it much" method..

Today I've been tinkering with some homework and haven't done any psiwork yet.

Tried PK on the psi-wheel before going to sleep. I couldn't move it under cover and so I opened the cover. Once I did, I felt psi going around the cover - although I could see and feel right through the cover, for some reason I kind of avoided it. When I tried to redirect psi to flow through the cover, I couldn't move it. When I let it flow around the corner, I could move the psi-wheel a few times.

I was too tired though, and could only spin it for 20-30 degrees once, then for a few degrees and after that .. nothing. Note that I avoided touching the psi-wheel with my fingers before trying to spin it this time - thought it could become a bad habit.