Minor breakthrough

Since meditating next to a cliff would've been too scary, I visualized meditating embedded within a cliff. Very soothing.

Missed sleep. Either the visualization was too energizing, or I simply slept too much during the weekend. Or perhaps Doctor Strange was too inspiring. Perhaps a combination of all of those. Phone alarm didn't work, either.

Today it dawned on me that some things tend to repeat. Group work at school still means doing it all alone and then getting scolded for lousy teamwork. Thought about this, and wrote code when I experienced a jolt in consciousness. It suddenly shifted towards the right. The bindu point at the top of the head opened, and a wave of warmth propagated down the arms, shooting heat out of the joints. It started drawing energy upward, and formed a thicker blob around the head, neck and upper-back. By focusing on the blob, I could balance the body. Nice. I suspect that the new headphones have helped considerably. In my case, large headphones stimulate the crown by applying pressure on it.

Stared at empty space while waiting for sister, for about a minute. Saw what I used to call the "smoke" - colorless psi.

So far it's still rediscovering of what I've already experienced before.

Need less attachment

Oh well, apparently wasn't ready yet.

It was raining outside, so this time there was water. Had a dream of replacing a tap. A bit of water leaking to the floor .. no problem, right? Took a washbasin and put it under the pipework. Though, eventually I realized that the pipework had nothing to do with the water. The water level on the floor was rising fast. Tried to brush it into the drainage grills, which did not work (no physics). Thought that perhaps the other grills would work. Nope .. and the water level kept rising. Panicked and woke up only to facepalm. Should have taken a full lotus pose and meditated in the rising water. Should have tried to feel the water. Should have acquired the feeling of water, which fully describes it.

The rest of the night I enjoyed a hike.

Random weird

16.11.16 - Birthday

Brought cake and cookies to work.

• A colleague: "It's not your birthday today, is it?"
• Me: "It somehow happened that it is."
• Her: "At the bus I visualized you having a birthday and not celebrating it, judging by your Buddhist influence." (she wouldn't have known)
• Me: "Sometimes I do celebrate .. a bit."

At list for this particular birthday I decided to celebrate with a few colleagues. It seemed a bit special. Although she has previously mentioned being psychic, I found it interesting that she experienced my intention in reverse.

17.11.16 - Just some dreams

Met Hyena in the dreams again. We discussed some stuff (related to the Invisibility book, I think). Eventually he led me through a crimson corridor that had a lot of cat piss stains (weird symbol).

I said I had to go for some work related stuff.

18.11.16 - Strange symbols

Connected two dots and realized that I should try Samyama on elements from within the dreams. Theoretically, in my case currently this should be more efficient than doing the same thing in waking life.

Decided to try it. Before bed, mind had an affinity towards the fire element. Tried with that. I knew there would probably be quite a few hidden fears related to fire. However, these would pop up before I get to actual Samyama on fire, and thus it should be safe. Also, there shouldn't be any real progress until those fears are resolved. Fine.

The thought of fire split into what associated with fire - light, heat, life, activity, anxiety, etc. Fell asleep. Autumn at a foreign place with pretty scenery. I was surrounded by different things I was afraid of, the presence of which could be easily sensed. However, none of them posed any immediate danger.

One of the recurring symbols (appeared 3x): a large mother wolf with a young wolf approached me from behind and walked past. Each time, the young wolf looked at me, growling angrily. Although it didn't show it, I could tell that the large mother wolf was also angry at me. I couldn't tell the reason, and regardless of my attitude towards the young wolf (even if I petted it fearlessly), it was still sincerely angry at me. The mother wolf always took the young wolf with it, not allowing it to cause me any harm (regardless of its feelings towards me).

There were also a lot of fences. At a crossroad there was a rusty fence with a fine cloth covering it, which caught my attention. Raised the cloth and found that the fence was broken. Extracted the broken part and put it aside.

Reached prison grounds (recognized this as one of the places I've tried to avoid as much as possible). Tried not to step into forbidden areas. A man was being taken to the prison and there was a crowd shouting something. Except for the fact that the prison guards didn't like there being noisy people around, the shouted words didn't seem to mean much. Actually it sounded like a mantra, so I also chanted it a long a few times. Still remembered it in the morning but by now I seem to have forgotten what it was that they shouted there. The man was nervous and afraid. This prison contained failed lab experiments, one of which came and killed the man (gore). Not that she wanted any harm to the man, but simply the killer instinct was too strong.

19.11.16 - Dad's visit

Dad visited for birthday celebrations. A lot of interesting discussions about the formation of matter, about invisibility, politics and so on .. all compressed into a couple of hours.

He mentioned an interview about archaeological finds from Antarctica. According to that interview, it seems as if there's been a serious nuclear war there. The war has caused large craters, melted buildings, torn the ground into mountain ridges and so on. One of the theories was that this is the long sought Atlantis. According to some old texts, Atlantis used to be somewhere on the equator so that pyramids lined up on the equator line. In that case, the equator would have to have been tilted a lot (like .. perpendicular to the current one, and we would probably have to exclude the pyramids of Xi'an). But in any case, that would explain the fossils in Estonia, based on which it used to be close to the equator before the ice age. Wild theories.

He had also started tracing the decisions of politicians before and after Bilderberg meetings, to deduce what was discussed and what was agreed at the meetings. A simple yet ingenious idea, in my opinion.

I found his last story the most fascinating. He said he remembered having seen his watch before. As a kid, his father had strange visitors sometimes (a routine back in those times, I guess =D). Among them, there was an old man who was particularly fond of the family and kids. So, they took a boat trip. That was dad's first boat trip on the sea. He noticed that the old man had an interesting wrist watch. The man noticed boy's interest in his wrist watch, and said: "You like it? It's a Japanese watch, I bought it a long time ago. It's yours if you wait for 70 years." It's a Casio G5600E with solar cells. In particular, Dad remembered that the battery indicator showed 'M'. Now that he showed me his watch, it indicated a fully charged battery with 'H'. Note that this occurred in 1966. Who was the mysterious old man, who visited the family just before retirement? Also I wonder why the old man said 70 years when by now dad already has it. Father thought this could indicate time travel in 2036.

No claims here. Just raw data for future reference. Especially since the verification of details is still in progress.

Random acquaintances

Strange when people know you well but you haven't even seen them before. One of the colleagues is a bit mysterious. Met his mother today at the bus station .. or rather, his mother met me. I was very surprised. I guess it was only last year when I learned that the colleague basically lives in the next building.

Anyway, back from Italy again. The last day was very rainy. An interesting sequence of events while on my way to the airport. Although I had planned on taking a bus, for some reason I had to meet a specific taxi driver. In order to meet the taxi driver, I had to catch an earlier train in the morning (rome2rio didn't show the train). Well, actually while waiting for the train, I also met a local bank electronics engineer who knew one of the universities in Estonia. At the next stop, none of the self-service ticket machines worked. Found a ticket booth, where the lady booked me on a fast train that should've left 2 min ago. It was delayed by 10 min, so I still made it. At the next stop it took me some time to find the info booth .. bought a bus ticket to the airport. Then took me some time to find the bus stop. Got there, the taxi arrived but I decided to take a look at the bus schedule first, so the taxi left. Realized that the bus would've been there too late. Walked over to the taxi park. The taxi driver lowered the window and I recognized the face from nowhere. A very intelligent driver, so we enjoyed rather interesting discussions on politics, travelling, grammar.

The puzzle will come together at some point. It always does.

---

Proper breathing makes quite a difference.

During the past few days I've had a few regular dreams (not very vivid, not very stable). Slept on a tree in one of them. First time :). Since the body was not very solid, I wasn't too worried about falling, either. When I let go, I descended slowly like a feather .. without crushing any leaves or branches.

Happy Trumpsday

Pff. Random &> /dev/null
Back to the topic.

Yesterday I realized what this specific anxiety that I've been feeling is about. It's a matter of breathing. When breathing wrong (superficial breathing, sighing too much, not processing the breath for long enough and so on..), eventually some form of prana is drawn out and depleted from the body. This form of prana is necessary for internal heat. Without it, there will be a feeling of cold in the chest. Eventually this grows into a sharp pain, as if there were knives of ice in the lungs. This develops further into the smell and taste of blood and so on. Already the lack of warmth in the chest is not healthy, everything beyond that is .. well .. probably even less healthy. Other symptoms that seem to follow from the lack of prana in the chest: cold sweat, shivering, contracting aura, lack of personal power, lack of empathy, lack of self-confidence. I guess.

Wet dreams twice in a row already. I feel how that is also unhealthy, but for some reason relaxing has caused it. So perhaps it's prior buildup of internal tension that's being released while draining energy as well. In any case, celibacy + prana are a natural protection against freezing over in cold.

Last night it happened when in a dream I saw an angel with their aura. Pretty random and quite rare a symbol, for me at least.

Slowly learning Italian. Second time in Italy and still can't speak the language - there's really no excuse for that. That's why I picked this particular AirBnb host. And it seems that none of the nearby restaurants nor shops understand English. Still getting a lot of confusion and puzzled looks out of my attempts at Italian but whatever.

Thermal cycles

Put some effort into dissolving the anxiety of working late one evening. Then the next evening I realized that I need to redo the tests and the only time to do it is the very same evening. One of the thermal chambers stopped cooperating (CPU battery empty), so the tests even got delayed further. Gradually it dawned on me that I won't make it for the last bus back to town. Packed and left anyway. Whatever, will hitchhike. Or regularhike through all that snow (something like 4 hours with a large backpack full of equipment).

At like 30 meters from the building (before I had even tried to hitchhike), a car stopped. It was the director of the science popularization centre. He was going the opposite direction but asked if I wanted a lift to the bus stop, and asked when the bus was going to go. When I said I missed it, he took me to the town. Haven't felt sincere happiness like that for years, perhaps.

Workshop on the weekend, so a lot of sauna and cooling cycles in snow. Barely any sleep, tho.

Walked to the bus station last night, because there were no buses that late anymore. Had planned for it to take a long time, because there was quite thick snow on the roads. Arrived early, because apparently the roads had just been cleaned. Enjoyed the walk, as it somehow associated with a pilgrimage hike in Tibet. About 1 hour of waiting outside. That was cold, and no longer reminded of anything other than waiting there in the cold. Tried to witness the cold from a 3rd person perspective, but the effect was only temporary.

I want to overcome the effect of cold.

Quite a summer in Italy. Walked 3.8 km with luggage, which helped to heal the cold damage, I hope.

Edit: Identified split-seconds moments of super-deep sleep within taking short naps.