Half-thoughts

Focused on emptiness again, while walking..

No breath cessation this time. This time energy started buzzing around, up the body. Also, it felt as if the body had become a bit lighter as well.
----------------------------
It has been a while, since I experienced half-thoughts or however they should be called. In order for a thought to take shape, a critical amount of energy needs to be invested. When you either de-focus from the thought or cancel it, when it hasn't reached the critical amount of energy, then it dissolves.

Full thoughts seem to be self-sustaining constructs.
Half-thoughts seem to lack an effect.
----------------------------
Some more attempts to burst a matchstick into flames with pk. Came up with some new constructs that I hadn't tried before.

Managed to visualize (and see them forming) vortexes quite vividly. Had two vortexes with their tips together at the matchstick head. Had them spin in reverse to each other, creating more friction at the center.

Saw some strange effects in the area of the match head (real tiny dots of light, wobbles, waves and strings in space, some of them glowing slightly). No flame .. yet. However, stimulation of the 3rd eye was great.
----------------------------
While cooking some pelmeni, focused on the curtains.

Tried to push/pull them at first .. about 1 cm of movement and not always consistent with the intent.

Decided to try to lift the curtains upwards, folding it along the way. Quite considerable movement, about 3 cm or even more. Movement occurred exactly when I released the intent of pulling it upward. It was quite fun to look at how tension distributed along the surface of the curtains..

I guess this stimulated the central back part of the brain or something.

Breath cessation

Remembered that yesterday morning I had a discussion with the construction workers. Expressed my worry about our neighbour, an old lady, who cannot walk down the stairs without a handrail.

When I came home yesterday evening, I found it already installed.
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Attempted to clear the mind and open some channels, while walking home.

For a couple of minutes, reached a state where I barely had to breathe. Sushumna channel and that cavity in the head felt connected.

Later, about 50 meters from home, experienced breath cessation spontaneously as well.
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A fellow psion inspired me to practice some pyrokinesis on a matchstick again. No success yet.

Caught exploring forbidden areas

Had an interesting dream last night (probably influenced by some youtube videos and playing of fallout 2 for 15 minutes before bed).

Here goes .. we're out exploring with a friend. It looks like a summer evening or early morning, couldn't tell the difference very well. The scenery was unfamiliar and amazingly detailed.

We're coming along an asphalt road, looking for entrances into some kind of underground tunnels. Every now and then, there were air intake grills. We were wondering if there was a larger entry somewhere.

To the left of the road, there's a lake and ahead, there's a wooden house at the shore (partly built on water), surrounded by leaf trees with some pine trees as extra. The soil was a bit sandy.

On the lake, there's a fisherman with his boat, replacing fishing nets or taking them out. We intended to sneak past him, by going around the lake. Sadly, when we arrived at his house, we had to stop. He had reached the shore with his boat.

From his facial expressions, I could tell that he could see us, or rather, sense us (looked straight at us for a few times). His rational mind dominated, though, making him doubt what he saw.

The man came closer, as we were at the place, where he would clean his nets. Well, that was pretty much the worst place to hide. Had positioned myself behind a tree, so that sun would shine through me, into his face. There, he realized about our presence. Asked who's there and started to see us. He told us it was dangerous there and he might've accidentally shot us, thinking we were a pack of deers or something.

Highly suspicious about us, he let us go.

We went on, along the road, looking for an entrance. Found a bigger one, looked in and saw a spacious room down there. Found it interesting, how these air intakes generated a lot of loud noise, as if there were ventilators installed at some of them.

An alarm went off, heard them call security over the radio or something. Panic .. scanned the surroundings at hi-speed, absolutely nowhere to hide .. nearest woods were way too far. Jumping into the lake was not an option. The best bet seemed to be hiding ourselves into the ground, right next to the road, hoping that they would just miss us.

Semi-woke up from that dream, with the bus surrounded. Apparently, we had been astral-travelling from that bus or something. Busted...
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Saw a lot of police cars moving around today morning, felt a bit uneasy.

Edit: This is the 666th post. ;)

Meditative work

Some meditating and pk practice last night. Barely any movement on the objects.

Ran out of sleep, went to work early.

Reached the meditative state during work for a few times. Started to feel more wobbly and a bit weird. Saw myself starting to project more light onto the surroundings, transforming the feelings that stuff gave off. A channel and a cavity opened up in the head and later closed again, resulting in a slight headache.

Just some healing

Another satellite workshop at autumn school.

Not much pk related stuff.

Some weird dreams.

Some attempts at focusing on the emptiness last night. Each time I did that, I felt the psi field thicken. Each time I lost focus, the psi field seemed to have became thinner. Played with it, creating an onion-like shield around the body.

Healed the body a little today morning. Focused on the key points where something was off and visualized warmth and light entering there. Also, applied a simplified version of the white skeleton meditation on the bones at these key points. This took some time, but made me feel really good afterwards.

Saw a dark blob speed across the floor from under a closed door once.
---------------------------------
While back at home, took a nap, mixed with meditation. Visualized the body engulfed in inner flames, burning away any toxins that have accumulated over time. The smell of something burning (or really hot) appeared.

Woke up, feeling energized. Tried to pull psi up the spine, staring at the floor.

There was a sudden bright reflection on the floor. Found it strange, as there didn't seem to be any rational cause for it.

Daily pk

Inspired by these videos:

While it's either compiling or reflashing some of the chips, I've been recently been practising pk on a balanced pen. Not much of a movement yet. Though, I haven't quite acquired the feeling of the pen yet.

It started snowing today .. feels quite soothing. Also, it's nice to observe and play with the air when it's thick of snowflakes.

Meditated more than usual yesterday and felt pretty calm and refreshed in the morning.

Presentation

Had trouble falling asleep last night. Up until late hours, I spent in the half-dream state, sister showing me some interesting stuff. This lasted for almost as long as sister was awake.

Hm, the presentation didn't go too well. That familiar feeling of pleasure was absent today. I guess I was too nervous or something. It seems the crowd liked it, though.

Now there's this sweet emptiness.
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Happened to see a cyan-blue flash exactly at the heart chakra of a coworker today.

Crackling snapping

It seems I've managed to stay friends with those entities. Got a lot of energy back last night. But then quickly lost a part of it again.

I've been feeling a bit tense again. Yesterday evening a light bulb blew out. Today morning, the CFL in the kitchen made a loud crackle and a strong flicker. Snapping is back, too. When I think of something, an object most closely related to this thought makes a snapping sound.

Contrary to what the horoscope claimed, I didn't feel too active today. Felt like having missed the weekend (prepared a presentation, which came out to be more like a full lecture).

Ah, remembered that as we came back from jogging yesterday, I saw another one of those flower construct graffities. The most beautiful, so far. Gotta take a picture some day.

Also remembered that yesterday I saw a piece of styrofoam (or something similar, material-wise) move on the floor when I was about to enter the room. Busted! I saw it. ;)

Sorrow to light

Had somewhat brighter dreams again last night. Spent reprogramming myself with the help of someone else. Found it queer that we would be writing code near the stables at summerhouse, with the fresh aroma of droppings.

Can't remember what it was that I was re-designing.

A dream or an experience that I can't remember. Anyway, as it ended, I remember coming a long way back home, that is, to this reality. Finally being close enough, I started to see the shades of the window and balcony door, surrounded by this veil of darkness (as in some previous OBEs). Entered the body, by having the body "breathe" it in or something. At least that would be close to what it sounded and felt like.
-----------------------------------------
Told father about the feeling of being drained when he was around. He said he had been feeling energized and having his mind racing, recently.

Came up with a theory. Father's field would stimulate some sort of processes in my energy body. However, since I was lacking energy, it only drained me. Dad was not psi-vamping, I was just too drained to catch up with his thought-forms.

Went jogging with him.

Need to learn to love and respect everything dark that I've learned again.

The whole thing is just so sad, feel sorry for mankind, our brothers and Earth. I wish we would all awaken and overcome this repetitive cycle of sorrow.

Human origins

A couple of videos on human origins and some strange artifacts.

Obey or suffer? No thanks..

Feeling drained. So many psi-vamps around.

Dad came home yesterday evening and as soon as I entered the room he was in, I felt uncomfortable and drained .. suddenly couldn't hold my eyes open any longer.

Even though I already felt drained today morning, the same thing continued. As soon as I became to a proximity of 20 m to father, I would suddenly grow really tired. When he left the room, I would gradually feel more and more fresh again.
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In a half-dream state yesterday evening, I explored different kinds of gold (symbol for spiritual values).

There seemed to be many, but 3 of them looked most important:

1. Dark gold - gold with a slightly dark reflection. Like gold with a bronze-like reflection. This one would become oxidized (would eventually become dull). Most of the gold that I saw around was like this .. not real gold.
2. Gold - pure and shiny. Some of the temples and stairways were elaborated with this.
3. White gold - like a fine powder of gold. This one didn't shine or in any way look special, but seemed superior to the others. On the stairways, the rails were covered with white gold.

Anyway, had some more dreams where I had to "suffer the consequences" of barking against the powers that were in some of the earlier dreams.

Had to play wounded. Someone projected a wound on my left shoulder. It was artificial, so I didn't even feel it. They then wrapped it in. Having wasted too much time and effort on playing with me, they rushed to an event. Participating in the event was compulsory for me too. Feeling apathetic, I just took my time and walked there. On my way there, I was scolded for bleeding on the floor. When I got there, I was scolded for being late. However, none of this "old school building with everything shaded in gloom" was my design anyway. It was not my dream and I had known it all the time.

It seems SeriousKnot was right. I wonder if I was right too .. because if that's the case, then one can prison-break pretty elegantly. Interesting, in this context, "liberation" and "enlightenment" would have a pretty well-defined meaning.

Though, I found it quite interesting that there were specific times, when their community would have to gather outside of the buildings. There was some sort of a meeting or something, which they had to participate or they would be punished. Probably a dictatorship system, where they would receive their daily orders this way.

Didn't see the event. Dream ended before. Woke up pretty tired in the morning.
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Meditated and slept for a lot of times today. Feeling pretty lonely .. there's something that was within reach, but can't reach it anymore. Have to regain energy.

Blob of thick psi

Ah, remembered one more thing .. or two.

While crossing the pedestrian bridge today evening, I started to feel the surroundings a bit differently. Noticed that around one of the street lamps, there was a really dense psi field. So dense that it made me feel like one could easily float there, right next to the bridge. This was pretty vivid.

Recently I've started to experience the sensation of no ground below the feet, while crossing the bridge. I feel the air under the feet and bridge surface. Quite surreal and yet more real than the feeling of air touching against the skin.

Whaz subcon?

Yesterday, a guy in charge of the management of these apartment blocks came to give electronic keys. He was pretty nervous .. many of the residents had not been at home.

::click:: corridor lamp turned off. He went to turn it back on. Nothing happened. He tried again, 3 or 4 times, even. Still nothing.

I was about to comment: "Weird. I wonder if it burned out..?"

He said: "Most likely it will work when I calm down." Touched the switch and the lamp was shining once more.

Felt amazingly full of energy yesterday. There was energy rushing through the whole body.
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Had an interesting dream. I guess we were cleaning up at summerhouse and sister was cooking.

A lot of precognition, hints from the subconscious and some pk practice.

Aunt asked me to take some sort of a glass object down from a shelf. She told me to be careful with it. Subconscious told me I was not in proper control of my emotions to do that. Put some more effort into controlling the emotions and tried to be extra careful.

This was denial of subconscious or whatever there was, suggesting things.

Had the object in my hands, about to give it to aunt. Then, suddenly the object became paranormally heavy. Too heavy for me to lift it, even too heavy to lift with the help of pk. So it fell to the floor, throwing a shard off its structure. Tried to lift it up from the floor .. it was really light, even about 100 times lighter than when I took it from the shelf.

Aunt cast all her anger on me with pleasure. Didn't let it resonate with me, because that would've been an easy way for them to acquire energy from me.

Instead, I started to wonder. Here's how it all felt: someone is ordering me around, considering themselves superior. Then, as I disobey, they feel humiliated and have to show me that it is they, who hold all the power. This glass object becoming so heavy .. it felt like it was done by the same being who had been acting as subconscious mind in that dream.

Thus, the question: What is it that I'm calling subconscious? Is it not some sort of an entity, attached to the spirit?
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Amazingly beautiful morning with a nice warm wind, followed by an amazingly warm day.

Parallel experiences

I think I know what I messed up with.

Wet socks + cold floor is a misuse of the peripheral interface. There are straight channels to many of the organs from the bottom of the feet and the palms as well. Touch a cold boulder with your hand and you'll feel the effect on internal organs.

It seems that everything up to the heart and liver were affected by cold.

Attempted to re-fresh or re-generate parts of the body in order to heal this.

Consciousness shifts are still there.

Sometimes I find it strange, how some objects behave. Took the headphones from the table .. saw a ball-point pen core fall to the floor. Even heard something fall to the ground. "Awf .. no, you're not gonna fall down." And there it is .. on the table, right where it was before I reached for the headphones. At some moment, it looked as if there were two ball-point pen cores, one of which fell to the floor, leaving the other one on the table. Though, based on the memory, rational mind proves there was only one to begin with.

This is similar to this post:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2012/04/workaholicism.html (lost an MP3 player ear bud 3x in a row)

And to this one, in an un-posted way:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2012/10/sick.html (a man crossing the street real drunk)

I've been replaying this one from memory and there seems to be a gap in the experience.

When the man leaned onto the road, he was about to fall directly under the wheels of the first car making a right turn. The next moment, the car hit the brakes on the second lane.

This could've very well been my imagination, though.

Stomach ache

Incredibly clear messages from the subconscious. All of them were predictive and correct.

Subconscious predicted a last-minute conference call.

While coming home, it told me the balcony was finally open (had been sealed off with plastic for a couple of months, I guess). It even asked me whether I would like to take a look at it from the other side .. decided that wouldn't be necessary, trust subconscious enough.

Front door was closed. According to the subconscious, the old password wouldn't work. Though, it still suggested me to try it. On the sound of Error, a construction worker opened the door from the inside and told me the temporary password.

A sudden and strong stomach ache in the evening. There's either a blockage dissolving or I've messed it up pretty bad. Would prefer the first one, definitely. The flow of psi is greatly disturbed by the stomach, causing mild shifts in consciousness. Made some wormwood tea .. bwaah too strong.

Bright dreams

In a dream two nights ago, the 3 of us came from moving the shop and stopped by at an asian restaurant. Had infinite hunger. Wondered about it in the dream, especially because it was a dream. This continued in the waking state .. infinite feeling of hunger, just that the stomach would become full. So much for my breatharian practice, this time. There shall be more waves.

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One of the colleagues had been ill for several weeks already .. with a headache.

Attempted to remote-heal him via visualization, yesterday evening. Hadn't seen anything like this .. his brain looked so different. Undid a part of the visualization, because at some point I realized it was beyond my abilities. Shouldn't touch what I can't comprehend. Just applied soft and warm psi with the intent of healing and making him feel better.

Today morning he came to work.

Thinking back on it, makes me feel uneasy. I wish him to be well and still, there's this feeling that I'm not pure enough .. some black thoughts coming to mind, me trying to shield them off in fear.

Went to a practical, with this fight going on in the mind. At some moment it struck me: "What if it's an entity toying with me." So far I had always thought the mind was going bonkers of paranoia. Black thoughts disappeared.

An idea of what may have happened. I perform healing / pk. With this, there comes a feeling of power, balanced by a fear of doing it wrong and causing harm. Then some sort of an entity is attracted to this fear .. that's because with this fear, they obtain control over me and thus the powers as well. Now, assuming that I had been healing someone, they would come and play that someone, trying to depict me hurting them.

Today, this entity would have me feel their head under my right foot. This would make me feel upset, seeing myself acting superior to the colleague whom I greatly respect.
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Went to meditate and sleep early yesterday evening.

Had a really interesting series of dreams. None of them looked like my own, due to a completely different viewpoint on the world as well as a foreign scenery (with minor similarities). Anyway, the body that I was in, it had memories tied with that place.

We were in a room (a bit similar to the parents' room, or now father's room), talking with a friend. I really enjoyed the view out of the balcony window. Sun was rising and wind picking up. The buildings looked all orange (much like this building in near future).

On top of a building to the right, there was an antenna (and perhaps some measurement devices), attached to a big metal sphere that looked like a sea mine. Thought it was odd, but perhaps served the purpose of being heavy and protecting the equipment. With the wind picking up, it started to wobble ..

::plop:: it fell off the edge of the building, as if it was completely weightless. Rushed to the edge of the balcony, hoping that there was nobody underneath. Couldn't see it anywhere .. it had just disappeared.

Jumped off the balcony and landed on the roof of another building. Saw pieces of sewer pipes flying around, totally weightless. Had some fun levitating them towards myself or away.

Jumped off the roof of that building. Started looking around for other people in this dream. No-one seemed to notice me, except for one older lady. For the whole time, she had been staring at me. Was the dream hers?

There was another one. We were about to go somewhere with Mom. Both of us had cameras with us. Wanted to take a photo of something. Took it with my camera .. no difference. Took it with Mom's and everything changed .. as if had started to see everything from her perspective. Memories, way of seeing things, the feel of the surroundings, all changed.

Another dream, with a similar feeling to everything. Just in a bit more familiar part of the town. We were cleaning the streets of litter and found some interesting things. Still, the atmosphere was lovely .. sun rising, all those yellow leaves, wet asphalt glittering in the sun.
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Happened to look at the curtain in the kitchen while eating breakfast. It felt amazingly responsive .. as if wind was pushing it according to the intention. The thing is, these are new windows now, without any sort of ventilation built in. Of course, the mind has not become used to it yet.

Went to work in the morning. Sun rose, it was pretty windy .. yellow leaves flying about.

Inspiring videos

Ah, just finished writing a nice post for a forum. It took slightly more than an hour to polish. Then accidentally clicked close. No way I'm writing that again. Perhaps it was the wrong time to post it, don't know. Well, hopefully they'll get the idea anyway.

One and a half days of moving a shop to a storage house. It was tiring, but sort of fun.

Sister said: "Need some water." Had been thinking of that for a while too, said "Yeah," leaning on a cardboard box. Happened to glance into it .. all sorts of wrappers and stuff to be thrown away .. and a bottle of water (with a piece of chewing gum stuck to it), half-full. Handy.

A couple of days ago, father had found some really inspiring videos. While searching for them, we found some more.

Outsmart deja vu

Today morning, something clicked and started to see more joy in everything. Had suddenly become calm and found beauty in everything again.

Soon after, the fog cleared up and sun came out.

After 3-4 days of designing a file system, got a deja vu that it has all been in vain. Why, I asked .. "that guy would find a serious problem in the design and you'll have wasted a lot of time, getting nowhere." Thought I would outsmart it by asking that guy to review it now. Another deja vu (more faint): "You failed in trying to outsmart me, since he's offline". Yup, offline he seemed, but only by appearance. Hopefully that changed something.

Walked home. It was really pretty outside today. Sun shining, slightly raining with a double rainbow at the direction of home. Sky and water were more blue than before, grass was greener and leaves more yellow.

Remembered the intent to visit the boulders after work. Tried to acquire the feeling of a great boulder there. It felt as if it twitched and changed shape ever so slightly.

Edit: Ah, remembered that I saw a white orb fly around again today. Eyes were focused on the screen when, from the right corner of the eyes, I saw it fly linear and then turn around.

Cultivation

Practised some energy cultivation yesterday. Experienced a slight nausea and a floaty feeling today.

Fallout dream

Was about to try making a psi-ball yesterday evening. Moved the hands close to each other and started to feel a pulsing between the hands. The psi field in the cavity between the hands started resonating at around 6-10 Hz. Noted that hands were close to the heart chakra. Found it more interesting than creating a psi-ball.
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A dream, where I was in some sort of a building near the town centre. There was a nuclear plant at the center. Don't know how or why (Conspiracy? War?), but one of its reactors suddenly went ablaze like a rocket. It looked as if there was no end to this yellow-orange flame. Roughly at a radius of 1 kilometre around the reactor, there was a smaller ring of fire (red), fed by the central flame.

It was raining pretty hard and I wanted to record the event on camera without being touched by this rain with radioactive dust (didn't know if that would harm me in this dream).

Saw an UFO float to the reactor, with a symbol of an ancient god sitting behind the instruments in the device. The craft was dark blue, with the symbol glowing white on the side towards me (the symbol looked planar).

Somehow, this dream reminds me of that bonfire from a while ago:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2010/03/art-of-breathing.html
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Observed the wallpaper pattern with the 3rd eye before waking up in the morning.

Felt quite light and floaty in the morning.

Came home and saw an area of the laptop bag handle having a clear blue outline. Had already started to think these blue dots were symptoms of some sort of eye disease.

Fresh psi

It seems that Friday night did heal it.

Received a lot of energy during yesterday's presentation .. cheery people =). Some more encouragement from various sources.

While reading Protector CJ's journal, suddenly regained the feeling of psi on this material plane. For a long time, I had been working on a more subtle plane. A strong feeling of pk appeared.

With a lot of extra psi now, the ice looks pretty thin. A lot of annoyment from all sort of sources.

Managed to read a few pages in a meditative state this morning. Some semi-conscious pk on the pages. Practiced levitation again, too.

Slept about an hour during the day and had a dream, where I slid the laptop on table at work.

Edit: It's not just fresh psi .. some kundalini seems to be moving up the spine as well.

Restaurant dream

A lot of sweat.

Had an interesting dream. Decided to walk home and see how much the surroundings had changed in the meanwhile. Construction workers were installing a new fence around a couple of children playgrounds. Then, some houses in a row with the same architectural planning. Wondered why they always have the windows facing away from the direction of a great view. There was a hillock or something, with a very modernistic looking building on top. This one actually had windows in the direction of a great view, too. Walked in, looking for old acquaintances.

I guess it was called a Leigo restaurant or something. With the music, lighting effects and semi-open-air catering. A really expensive and hi-quality place, going by the looks of it. A lot of people looked familiar, but then I realized I actually didn't know them .. or they didn't know me.

Most of them wore suits and spoke foreign languages only. I guess it was some sort of a conference or a meeting between companies that was taking place and this was where they had supper.

Occupied a free chair at the back, near the stairs. A girl walked in and sat next to me. I guess, one of the organizers recognized her and threw her a golden key (might've been sort of like a ticket to the event). She was pretty surprised .. this meant she didn't have to pay for the event. She had a small company with a budget not too great.

This is a bit weird. Found a spoon from somewhere under the chair and the organizer threw me one of the golden keys too.

Asked her about her company, trying not to spoil the music. It provided some sort of software for distributed computing. She and her brother had started it some time ago. Some more chattering..

Later, I guess we descended the stairs and took a bus somewhere.. woke up.

All in all, everything looked bright and at peace there.

Sick?

I think I feel sick. Well, I guess it's about time .. pretty precisely one year since the last time.

Today morning I found it difficult to wake up. Previous mornings I woke up about an hour before the alarm would ring .. didn't seem to matter when I went to bed. Felt cold and all the muscles still hurt. Found it difficult to do anything intelligent. No appetite.

Almost witnessed a man get run over by a car. Although the subconscious mind told me what was going to happen, I didn't grab him. Found it strange that he didn't smell of alcohol and yet he seemed more drunk than any pums I've seen so far. He was lucky, running around on the street with the red light and heavy traffic. A few more events, seemingly aimed at catching my attention.

Got to be well for tomorrow morning. A presentation coming up.

Brighter

Today was considerably brighter than previous ones. Thanks to everyone, who helped.

Pretty much all of the muscles hurt today. Working in an uncomfortable pose and catching a cold does that.

Had a chat with Protector CJ from the psychokinesis forum. He made smoothie and asked whether I would like to have some. Took a sip via Chatzy. It healed the clump of psi that had formed in the stomach. Thanks a lot!

Light up, central channel

Visualized dense psi clumping together in the central channel and light up, while walking to work today morning.

Felt rather down / apathetic again today, don't know why, but it's pretty frequent. I suspect it might be related to me being disappointed about this world. Though, I guess no matter what the world is, this disappointment would still haunt. There must be a more fundamental problem to cause this.

Subconscious mind suggested me to run across the street and take the bus. Ignored it and acted according to the rules. Missed the bus. Checked the times, went back across the street and missed another one. Both would've taken me home.

Bah, too apathetic to care about that extra hour of waiting. Found an ad paper loose, inside a glass container to my right. I was a bit amazed at how responsive it was, even though it was sealed shut and there shouldn't have been any air drafts inside. It was also fun to readjust the focus .. to feel the glass .. then go through it and feel the paper inside.

Decided to try rising the vibrations again and overcome the depression. Stuff changed, everything started to look different again. Also, felt the body emitting hot psi.

This practice highlighted a problem .. it seems the body caught cold yesterday. Head hurts. It wasn't cold, but perhaps a lack of energy due to skipping lunch and supper (okay, ate a sandwich) yesterday.
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Had a free energy dream last night. I was in a dark auditorium, somewhere. Sneakily performing experiments .. because they had the tech and it wasn't in use during the night anyway.

There were interesting incandescent bulbs scattered around. Slightly thicker than a needle, without any electrodes. Seemed to have been built for radiant energy indicators of sorts.

I guess I tried a lot of different things. Most of them didn't work. Though, within the last hour or 30 minutes, something did. Found a coil with an embedded capacitor, somehow managed to get it to resonate and fill the field with radiant energy and these tiny incandescent bulbs lit up.

Had to put stuff back hastily, people came in.

Warm dream

As a follow-up from yesterday's breatharian studies, there was an interesting dream.

Went to meet someone in Siberia. Strangely, though, it took place at our summerhouse. Still, it was pretty cold, windy and snowing. To that man, it was nothing. He was busy tweaking his car.

At first, I tucked myself in a lot of heavy clothes. Tried to warm myself up with pk. Practised energy cultivation in the garage there. It was difficult to keep the body warm. Moreover, the feet were uncomfortable in the boots and producing cold sweat .. which made it all even more cold.

At some point, I guess hot psi started emerging out of the body and I would no longer feel cold. With a bit of self-trust and courage, I took the boots off and left them to dry somewhere.

It had stopped snowing and it was really pleasurable to walk on the snow and ice barefooted. Walked to the old man to take a look at what he was doing. Brought him some sort of small tools. It was an old car that looked fresh and clean. He took one of the doors apart and showed me what he wanted to improve. He was a perfectionist. I was taken aback when I saw that the insides of the car were made of gold.

Edit: Car might symbolize a vessel or body. Gold probably symbolizes spiritual riches or attainment. Don't know what boots and being barefooted might represent.

Walked around the yard. Gradually the weather became warmer and more sunny. Then there was someone else surprised that I had left the boots to dry in the sun, walking around barefooted.
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Interesting. I had been worried about having to call the driving teacher after a few weeks. Called him and suddenly everything changed. A feeling of pleasure was poured on me. Felt as if life had suddenly gained a meaning again.

Slightly less than 12 hours without feeling hunger. Just a couple of cups of berry tea.
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Edit: Oh man, sometimes I burst out, being really pissed about the "correct" way of things in this world (makes me feel really sorry for anyone being born here). Why do I whine, when it's all really up to me to change it all?

Visualized meditation

There was a queer bug in the SPI daemon, somewhere. After the call of nature, it popped into mind. Subconscious showed the bug (due to the timing of tasks and the order of the code being executed, it appeared). It took the next 1.5 hours to verify that this was the case. Another part of the bug remained a mystery, though. It assigns a value to a variable, but then it takes some 20000 cycles before the variable really obtains the value. Time travel? Coding is fun, sometimes.

Edit: My fawl .. debugging code that wasn't even executed.
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At some moment, I visualized myself somewhere in India or near there. Found a lot of monks training. Sought a nice place with a few trees and visualized myself meditate behind the trees. Loved the psi streaming through the body. Though, after a while, it became dark. Tried again later .. it was a really calm night. The moisture on the grass and the tree .. the feeling of silence. Body heat up considerably. It was really awesome. Some time later, it started to get dark outside the window, too.

Want to become breatharian

Had a strong urge to burn candles yesterday. Ignored it.

After 3 days of coding, didn't feel tired last night. Meditated a little and the feeling of warmth and love started radiating from the heart chakra. Strangely, felt cold air against the 3rd eye. Since I couldn't see the surroundings with it, so I thought it wasn't open.

Went to sleep 12 PM and woke up before 6 AM. Just stayed in bed, waiting for some dreams or OBE for the next 1.5 hours. Body no longer fell asleep.
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Felt a little frustrated about the body having to eat today. A colleague asked me to dinner, I replied: "I decided that eating is a waste of money. Perhaps I'll visit the store later, when I get hungry."

Usually when I get too hungry, I get really cold. Lack of energy..
 About 2 weeks ago, I just ate chips for breakfast and dinner. Well, it seemed okay for 1.5 weeks. Also, I've sometimes eaten cold food for months. Actually, some of it tastes better when it's cold.

Came back from the store, with a lot of junk food today and realized something.

In order to have energy for free, one first has to put in a critical amount of it. Then, this intense resonant blob of energy would slowly bring more and more of the surrounding energy into the resonance. So, it's the paradox that first one would need to have a lot of energy, then they can have more. Need to practice a lot more energy cultivation and meditate more, too.