Bliss and yellow light

I haven't been feeling too tempted to post stuff here and on the forums for quite a while. It even feels as if the forum has fulfilled its purpose for me. I guess that's what Sean meant when he closed his "A Little Weird" forum.

Planned on postponing the programming of hobby projects again and dedicating a day for pk practice yesterday. Well, the hard drive of one of the computers at home had started clicking. So, about 10 hours were invested into reinstalling stuff and making triple-boot with windows working. I have managed to meditate and practice energy manipulation with a few pk attempts every day.

Even though I thought the feeling of detachment had left me, it seems that it really hasn't. I don't feel so much of a need for practicing pk. Just enjoying the bliss looks fair enough.

Started Trataka practices again yesterday. It didn't seem to have much of an effect the last time I tried it, but now it had an amazing effect. Already about 30 minutes of on-off practice, atmospheric density around me had risen remarkably. Also, I started seeing clouds of golden light moving around me as I was focusing on an object.

As a result of yesterday's Trataka, I saw and felt the yellow light again today. It seemed to have come through the clouds, making everything it shone upon emit the same yellow / golden light. When I focused on it, the feeling of bliss got stronger. As it was getting stronger, the wind dropped, clouds disappeared and a really beautiful sunset came out. This amplified the feeling of bliss even further.

Father and I finished watching "Toward the Terra" tonight. We watched the series like we were addicts or something =D.

Levitation dream

It seems I had managed to catch a cold on Tuesday. It's cold in the school building and after doing stuff with the laptop, sitting still for about 4 - 5 hours, I think catching cold wouldn't be very difficult. There were a few slight headache strikes and energy cultivation was a bit harder than it should have been yesterday.

Well, I still practiced pk and psi manipulation a little yesterday. Visualized and intended on the heart chakra heating up and healing the body. Somewhere around 0 AM my breathing switched to Pingala and my body started producing a lot of heat. As I was overflown with this hot psi, a cloud of hot psi appeared around the body as well.

Left some of this hot psi where it was and started gathering the rest of it up into the crown. I think I managed to free myself from the blockages that had formed with the cold this way - there were no headaches afterwards.

Saw a cool levitation dream again. While walking around with an old friend and minding everyday business, I was practicing levitation all the time. We then came to my place and in the kitchen, I suddenly levitated. Being unable to control it very well, I almost hit the ceiling for a few times. It was difficult to control it well enough to maintain a stable altitude. I wanted to be able to levitate just a few millimeters above the floor so that nobody would get suspicious and I could keep practicing it all the time.

The feelings of psi density and its movement are becoming more and more real in the dreams.

It's a really pretty day and makes me feel free (no obligatory school tasks until the next week). All tree branches are encompassed in white ice needles and sun is shining through them. Hobby programming projects are flying with success (easily fixed bugs that I had been messing around with for weeks).

Weight with psi density

Finnish guys from Aalto University (they're building student satellite Aalto-1) came to visit. Lots of presentations and questions..

Used empathy to see what their points of view were and how they think about stuff.

Anyway, I got a bit bored for a minute and played with a digital scale that was on the table. Measured the weight of my usb memory stick. The reading oscillated between 8 and 14 at first for some reason. It stabilized to smaller oscillations between 10 and 11. I think it was actually about 10 grams, because this reading seemed to be the most stable. Thought on practicing pk on it to make it weigh more .. the reading rose to 12 grams. Thought on practicing pk on it to make it weigh less and the reading dropped to 9 grams. I think I might have been able to cause bigger fluctuations if I hadn't turned it off, but it would've been somewhat suspicious - environment subsystem guy next to me asked if I was surprised to see that the usb stick weighed 10 grams =D.

Well, this beats my old record that I got at the department store about a month ago.

I think I also semi-accidentally budged a pcb on the table (it moved by a few millimeters).

Have been a bit nervous that I'll have to correct all the theory mistakes I did before I was allowed to take the spectroscopy practicals. I don't feel too confident with this theory. Worrying about this has probably caused some psi blockages in the head again, at least I have started to feel a few slight strikes of pain recently. My throat chakra sometimes hurts a little and after a healing attempt yesterday night, my throat hurt pretty bad in the morning. Noticed something interesting during the healing attempt - it occasionally felt like psi started vibrating below my crossed legs and provided uplift.

Shoot, I have used "tin can" when I actually meant a soda can of sheet metal (aluminum with some additives).

Dense and pressurized

The feeling of detachment has dissolved. However, thanks to owltwelve, "Please save my Earth" and "Toward the Terra", I could boost psi density with willpower.

Got some heavy psi currents through the 3rd eye and crown chakra. This was the first time I have felt a flow of psi so strong. Middle brain got pretty warm from the psi and the density inside and above the head was also something unprecedented for me. I was even amazed that my body withstood it without any problems - no pain or feelings of discomfort. After such meditation / energy cultivation, my hands and legs were twitching a little though.

Tried looking around and feeling things on pictures, like owltwelve suggested on the forums. Used my qRV app to view random images from google. Intended and visualized an image of a beach ball, but whenever I did this, I mostly ended up with corrupt files for some reason. Well, there were a couple of non-corrupt images that showed up and one of them even had a beach on it, but .. featured adult content. The program even hanged once while trying to display one of these corrupt pictures.

Stopped trying to force specific imagery and everything seems to work fine again. Started visualizing specific pictures again and managed to crash it with a few broken files again. Need to make it pk-tolerant =D..

Detach

The last few days have been pretty busy. I had hoped I would have more time for meditation, but .. hmm, I just have to detach and take it.

Even though I had only slept something like 5 hours, I managed to spend the whole day quite productively yesterday. Slept the whole night till the morning and no longer woke up in the middle of the night. Hopefully the "refresh rate" of my body hasn't decreased..

Ah, I wanted to see if the radiometer vanes would spin faster if there were no wobbling due to unstable moment of inertia. Used pk to keep the axis of rotation stable for the vanes. It no longer clicked against the iron support, but the vanes didn't seem to have sped up either. Anyway, the force of a 150W halogen lamp is pretty great on the radiometer (just a couple of inches away from the lamp). Haven't stopped it yet, but there have been a few close calls.

I think I just realized the actual point of these so-called 'chest' exercises. All this time I have been forcing them with almost sheer visualization power (with some detachment from the result) to keep them stable.

I started meditating on the whole room, while visualizing a pot filled with water above my head. With visualization, I could keep the pot almost stable. Occasionally I spotted a feeling of stillness that filled the whole room and the visualized pot stood completely still, even water didn't ripple inside. What I thought was still is no longer still for me. Perhaps this was what I had unconsciously wanted to teach to myself all this time. This 'chest' exercise was unbelievably difficult when done like this. Maybe that's what Naruto learned on Mt. Kyoboku while sitting on a balanced stone plate.

Just found out what detachment meant in Zen Buddhism - detachment from one's own thoughts (wiki). So far I have only associated detachment with being unaffected by desires, worries and relationships.

Practiced pk on the tin can again, hoping that I would spot that stillness I got earlier. After 30 minutes of pushing the feeling of movement and letting go repeatedly, I couldn't get it to wobble enough to make it rolling yet. I guess the stillness moments were too short-lived.

Busy day

Today was an unbelievably busy day. Everyone who could have called, mailed or messaged me, used the opportunity. And it all happened almost at the same time.

An old friend also turned up in Skype, who has become interested in UFO-s and aliens since our last discussion on this. The subject smoothly changed to psionics.

Meditated before going to bed. Focused on a feeling in the upper body that I hadn't noticed before. Right when I decided I should stop meditating and go to sleep, I started hearing a sound like a motor inside me winding up rotations per minute (it was a really smooth transition). I can't remember the frequency it started with, but I think it increased to about 10 Hz or something. While I was hearing the sound, cells in my whole body were vibrating with the same frequency. It felt as if it were a motor that's circulating energy in the body or something.

After defocusing from the sound, I felt it coming from the crown and top of the head, which was pulsing with this frequency. The most fitting description of what it felt like after defocusing, would be sort of "increasing the refresh rate of your mind and body or clocking it up."

Suddenly snapped out of a dream at 5 AM and couldn't get any sleep anymore. Stayed in the bed for a couple of hours, hoping I would fall asleep again and then just gave up. After waking up in the night, I feel weird, like in a constant near-OBE or something.

Sushumna flame

Meditated for a few times yesterday. I think it could be considered as two sessions (30 minutes and 1 hour). During the 1-hour session, I nearly fell asleep for a few times. Though, with every time I woke up and went back to focusing on the feeling of "me" in my body, everything felt different from before.

For the last couple of weeks or even longer, I have been having physical pain in the upper chest and throat chakra areas. So, by focusing on the feeling of 'I' in this region and gathering psi, I'm attempting to heal it. Those areas became cold at first and then started heating up.

At some moment, I visualized opening all of the chakras on the spinal channel. Throat chakra was still aching, but I tried to keep it open enough to avoid any possible damage. As I temporarily opened the chakras, there was a jolt through my body, I believe. My conscious somehow bended or something, making me feel weird for a short moment. Then I started feeling, hearing and seeing (in my mind's eye) a tall flame burning through all open chakras. The flame was burning all the way from Manipura chakra to a place in the crown above the head. It all reminded me of this dream.

Trying to keep any geisting to the minimum, I tried to keep most of the energy that emitted from the flame in my body and use it for healing purposes. I thought there would be some serious geisting if I released it all into the surroundings.

Probably from watching Heroes, I saw a dream with lots of running, hiding and shooting. However, there were no guns except for imaginary bullet constructs we fired at each other. They often couldn't feel my bullets, which was sort of fun - had to run, fly away or hide again.

Watching Heroes is not very healthy because of the way it's made, I would say. However, it's perfect for challenging one's control over their own emotions, feelings, thoughts and energy.

It's hot enough outside so that instead of snow, there's just a lot of slush. Took a couple of attempts at walking on this slush. The first 20-30 meters were cool, I managed to keep the stillness and walk without falling. But then I started falling every few steps and usually fell so deep that it became really difficult to get up on the slushy snow without falling through again. I was amazed, but I wouldn't be able to levitate with this amount of control just jet. In fact, I sometimes couldn't even feel any distortions in the stillness when I fell through.

Well, I'm feeling detached from pk actually. Being in control of myself is of higher priority - helps to bring all this geisting under control again, I hope.

Ice walking again

Meditated for a few short sessions yesterday and felt a lot better today morning. Instead of breathing through Pingala channel the whole day, the channel of Ida even opened up and I felt the surroundings a lot better.

It turned from about -15*C to 0*C today morning and started raining. So that roads were even more slippery than before. Instead of trying the old spiky boots again, I preferred focusing on the feeling of 'I'. My conscious moved away from feet and ground, I started feeling really calm, I barely breathed and for the 10 minutes I was in this state, I didn't slip. I was walking like I would on asphalt. Well, I wasn't even paying attention to how I was walking, because I felt like I couldn't slip anyway. When I started thinking about it later, I started slipping more and even fell once.

While coming home, I barely slipped at all even when my mind was busy.

Put the radiometer on a new height yesterday and the vanes started jumping around, slowing down for a few times today. Hm, it seems that the lamp is too much for this radiometer - its rotation goes really unstable on such speeds. Anyway, it's cool to watch the jumpy blur of the vanes.

Lights have occasionally been flickering today again. The lights just dim down for less than a second.

Urge for meditation

It was quite slippery today and my spiky boots construct was not very strong. Even slipped and fell once.

There was a good quote on Heroes season 1 episode 9, I think. Hiro: "If I'm too scared to use my powers, then I don't deserve them."

Although it's really that simple and logical, I realized that's what's going on with my pyrokinesis, teleportation and electrokinesis practices. I'm afraid to practice them, but fleeing from my own fears is probably one of the biggest mistakes I have made. Zach: "Exactly. You've gotta embrace your inner freak. Because the only thing you 'll regret is denying who you really are."

Owltwelve posted a response about meditation in the journal comments section of Shirak's psychokinesis forum. I read it and got sort of like a flashback of what I want to be like. Now I have the urge to meditate until I have achieved this much control over my own emotions, feelings and thoughts. Got to meditate a lot when the exams are over. In fact, the exams will be over tomorrow, provided that I go back on my word and skip trying to better my results in quantum mechanics (well, C is pretty good for me anyway).

Found that the music I've been listening to for the last few days .. it's about angels and flying. Just like what I've been googling (levitation) and what I've been watching - Heroes (features flying). I would recommend Lamb - Five, Lamb - Fly, Lamb - Gabriel.

Googlin'

Watched a few episodes of Heroes. It's awesome, but seems a bit amateurish. Watching it was inspiring, but tensed the body up due to all of the murders and stuff going on.

Googled for levitation and found a few cool pages:

• http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/l/levitation.html (quite a lot of interesting cases and hints like the use of akasha or "vital fluid" for levitation). This reminds me of what I read on amrit from a mystic encyclopedia I found in grandfather's library at Christmas. Which was something in the lines of: "Nectar amrit is formed by stirring the divine ocean." It seems that in old texts, the energy field really is described as a fluid.
• http://www.naruse-yoga.com/levitation.html (he used the technique for levitation that I have been trying for teleportation)
• Accidentally stumbled upon Milarepa (the Tibetan saint, whose name I had long forgotten and wanted to find again)

Attempted pk on that roll of tape and tin can again, though, no breakthrough yet. Glared at the radiometer for a few times to get a better feel of the surrounding psi again. Saw waves washing through the radiometer and some circular motion forming around the vanes and spreading upward like a whirlwind.

I have somehow gotten blockages in the spinal energy channel again.. =/

Cleaned it in multiple sessions over and over. Right when I started one such cleaning procedure, there was a bang, a quite loud one. I thought sister was doing something, but then a few moments later she came in my room, with a somewhat frightened look on her face, saying: "I don't know what's going on. There was a loud bang against the wall again and the walls were shaking." Well, I told her it was probably ice blocks falling off the roof, though, it's quite a miserable explanation. It's -17*C outside, it's around 0.00 AM and even if it were blocks of ice falling down, they probably wouldn't hit our walls anyway. Actually, it's already the second time she has heard such a bang.

Tired

Not much of a success at pk. I've been pretty tired for the last week or more. Well, since I haven't been eating a wide variety of food, I thought it might be because I'm lacking some minerals or vitamins and took a pill. Another problem is that I have been going to bed late .. always messing around with psi before falling asleep.

I feel like whenever I develop pk state of mind again, it quickly fades away again. The same with opening chakras - as if they fell shut just like my eyelids do.

I can't sit next to dad when he's sleepy, because I fall asleep. Probably the same works for me as well, as I nearly witnessed a car crash while trying to figure out the reasons why I was tired. Some guy went speeding towards the headlights of another car and somehow managed to hit the brakes before a crash. One must be pretty sleepy to miss the headlights of another car that's a few meters forward. I've noticed that such absurd events tend to happen around me when I'm tired or lost in thoughts. In this sense, these events are similar to these sudden snapping sounds and object movements indoors. For example: http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2009/12/record-in-going-to-school-early.html.

It was already somewhat late and wanted to get to sleep quick. Though, I was subconsciously or semi-consciously playing around with psi again. Started visualizing a dream and drawing myself asleep. I thought it would be cool to see a dream totally upside-down, where I would be walking on ceilings and stuff. Well, I don't think it happened, as I can't remember it. Instead, I had a dream of practicing electrokinesis and making arcs between hands. The next dream that I remember was of trying to get some sleep with too many distractions XD.

Before falling asleep I suddenly started feeling a strong pressure on my 3rd eye. I thought I didn't have any shields on, but I had to visualize a door opening on the 3rd eye in order to let it in. As I did, pressure lessened and it reached the center of the brain (just like back when I intended on becoming good at math). The feeling slowly degraded shortly after opening the shield.

Inward breathing

Found a technique for cleaning the throat a few days ago - I just did it once for seemingly no reason. I would contract the base of the throat and then move the contraction up. I think the following breathing exercise may have been a derivation from the cleaning tech:

I noticed that I had started practicing a somewhat peculiar exercise yesterday that I can't remember having read anywhere. I breathe in like with the regular breathing exercises, but then have an inward breathing out (which I find a bit difficult to describe). This builds up quite a psi density inside the body. I wonder what would happen if I managed to breathe like that all the time, even while sleeping.

Breathing out inward feels like there's only a little air coming out through the top of the nose. It's as if most of the air gets converted into psi and flows everywhere in the body. There's something about the throat as well - I think I narrow it down while breathing out like this.

While doing a regular pranayama exercise yesterday, I occasionally felt a few moments of weightlessness. These breathing exercises seem to cause sweating in areas where psi flow is somehow blocked.

The exam didn't go amazingly well, but I'm still pretty much content with a 'B', since I had quite a few moments when I lost confidence and started to doubt in the construct. Made some silly mistakes as a result.

Studying meditation

Took a break from studying yesterday evening and glanced at what father was watching. There was a documentary on different predictions for 2012 and the end of the world. Watched the last episode of "Telepathy girl Ran" today and it was of the end of the world as well. (some more synchronicity).

Made a few psi-balls just for fun yesterday night. It was just fun watching psi move around in the room and gathering together into a ball. I also made some other shapes to verify that I was seeing it in 3 dimensions. Now it looks more like smoke rather than single protuberance-like things. Anyway, while making a psi-ball, I applied a lot of circular movements under different angles sort of like Naruto builds his rasengan. Well, at some point, a bright blue flash appeared at the point where I was seeing the psi-ball and the ball dissolved with the flash. I thought it was one of those lighting effects that happen in the eyes when they are penetrated by charged particles. Though, I have seen some flashes appear in points I'm focusing on before and if it is an eye-effect, then I must be bombarding my eyes with charged particles, which would be pretty strange anyway. Sounds like unintentional construct flaring to me.

Felt a bit down today for some reason. Went to exam consultation half an hour earlier to wait for others outside the physics institute, enjoying the trees, birds and practicing pk on a chimney that was smoking. Got cold pretty soon and started doing the breathing exercise for heating my body.

Became a bit nervous about the exam again, came home and started studying. It was a pain until I was breathing through the right nostril. Had a lot of difficult to control thoughts and didn't feel too well. Switched the nostrils, started feeling energy a lot better around me and I didn't fall asleep so easily anymore. A few hours later I felt so calm and so full of love as I have never felt before. Studying without listening to music and without any distractions like MSN open or something - that's quite a meditation.

With this new stillness of mind, the printer that usually goes on a strike when someone tries to use it worked like a charm. It should be out of color, but I still managed to print colored slides. Everything that I looked or thought on, snapped.

Levitation and push/pull

Meditated before going to sleep I think someone invited me for a flight. Visualized going out of body and flying across the town, trying to focus as much awareness into me flying as I could.

Slept without focusing on psi around me all night. It was really good. I think I even saw a pk dream or two, though, I can't remember them. One of them featured levitation, I guess.

Found that there's a separate page for physical levitation on wingmakers page:

http://www.wingmakers.co.nz/Physical_Levitation.html

Though, from there it seems that Kundalini awakening is inevitable for levitation.

Nox made a really inspiring post on his journal (journals require registration to the forum). I tried a similar construct for pulling a roll of tape off the edge of a shelf. I think I only got that slow and small but barely visible movement again. Got to figure out a way to overcome this, perhaps visualizing objects moving by great amounts every day would help.

Oh man, it seems that the lecturer has scheduled me with the guy with the brightest head in the class. This could mean that we have to split the exam time while others get full time. I'm a bit nervous and don't feel too confident .. there's tons of material and I can't understand all of it. Ok, now I got the feeling that it will go amazingly well.

Weather became warm, it rained and then got colder again so that roads were covered in ice. Put on a thin jacket only, intending for pk practice when it gets cold. Against the ice I visualized spikes of a strong material sticking out of my boots. These spikes would penetrate the ice and asphalt, providing me with enough friction to practice speed-walking on ice as I usually do on asphalt in summer. It really helped a lot and there were only a few minor slips.

A focus exercise popped up a few days ago where I think I defined the properties of this strong material. There was a lonely flower next to a road and there were soldiers marching towards the flower. I wanted to spare it and made a thin cylindrical shield around it. It took me a few times of winding back and replaying the events before I got the shield strong enough to block their boots from squashing the flower.

This speed-walking was also fun because I used the psi cushion behind my back to push me forward with such a speed that my feet could barely keep up with it. It felt like I was flying forward and only using feet for keeping altitude.

Fireworks

Managed to spark some of father's old interest in pk yesterday. He was watching TV before going to bed again and stumbled upon a Russian channel where they discussed use of psionics in war. I couldn't understand much of it though.

Meditated on overcoming the barrier of stopping my own progress. There was someone explaining to me that it's meant for providing a safe ground only, to make sure I would always bounce back to equilibrium when I dropped too low. It looked like a sandbox with a fence of 20 cm only, so that I could have overstepped it whenever I wanted to. As I saw no reason for me to play in the sandbox anymore and jumped out of the fence, into the void. I started falling, but flew back up again. Then more and more me's started hopping over the fence, falling and rising .. it turned into another focus exercise.

Cleaned myself of blockages and old black shields (don't know why, but these shields looked like the armor of Darth Vader while meditating). There were quite a lot of blockages and unnecessary shields around the head and although I hadn't noticed it, my head actually hurt because of the blockages in several places.

Edit: I also visualized hugging the satan goat and cleaning it of dark energy. It seems that short after that, FridgeNatious changed his avatar to a smiling goat on the forums. He changed his youtube avatar to a goat as well. There was a happy-looking goat in Treasure Hunter's video that I still hadn't watched as well. Thanks a lot for the idea, Draspy!

Father had opened the adapter of the scanner quite a while ago and I still hadn't tested if it worked without the fuse. The fuse was busted, but it could've just overheated and started consuming slightly more power or something. Decided to try it today. The adapter is busted since this incident: http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2010/05/happens.html

The moment I plugged it in, I got fireworks in my hand (no harm) and my room fuse flipped. Well, it seems that it's broken alright XD. That was quite an adrenaline rush, my crown became more active and when I turned the lamp on again, radiometer slowed down (didn't stop completely, but was barely spinning at all) at a new height.

Took a few attempts with random noise image generation. I think I faintly saw the objects I visualized in the noise, though, I could barely tell them apart the background.

I feel rather weird and tired today. Occasionally took a break from studying and slept for 10 - 20 minutes again, trying to focus either on the crown chakras or on psi underneath me providing lift. Sleeping while keeping myself focused on something has probably resulted in not enough sleep. Healed some areas that hurt and slept for a short while again. Took me a while to fall asleep, because I was unconsciously gathering psi around my legs for some reason. While healing and releasing tension that had gathered in the body, stuff snapped all around me again. Ah, I found a pimple on my neck yesterday evening and when I scratched that, stuff snapped =D.

Felt and saw the concrete wall next to me wobbling slowly. Practiced some pk on it and knocked on it. For my knuckles, it's solid, but for my mind it's a dense liquid. It's those small and barely visible movements that I often get with random objects.

Yet another ego-slap?

Woke up once today morning and visualized sun shining outside. Opened my eyes and the sky was almost clear with sun shining on the concrete-block buildings. Well, I guess that about 10 minutes later, the sky was covered in clouds again. Clear sky manifestation has lately been with a great success rate, but it only stays clear for a short time.
I would also like to note that the snapping sounds have not disappeared. Every time I wake up during the night and feel psi density around me increasing, my laptop, closet, something inside the walls or in nearby rooms snaps.

I'm not sure what's the cause, but for the last few days I've been somewhat numb to other people's success on pk again. I'm trying to make my replies sound as if I were happy when I really feel nothing. I'm glad there are exceptions, but I take it as a sign that I'm missing something. My motivation for practicing pk has also dropped slightly. I guess I still get those ego-slaps or ego-burns sometimes. Need to take a gym visit, meditate some more and perhaps listen to more happy music.

Edit: I think I know what caused it this time. I had been doing some intention and visualization on being successful with the exams and getting myself levitating before summer. My belief staggered slightly before the second exam. Tried to push myself up on the path again after the exam, but I think I only managed to make the drop smoother. Being in constant control over my emotions and thoughts no matter what happens would be cool..

It seems that the effects of owltwelve's beats last for days. I'm still feeling somewhat high today and psi density around me rises fast when I move around. Should definitely visit the gym today evening.

Shirak's and owltwelve's progress is really breathtaking. Shirak is moving sand and dirt, owltwelve is easily swinging traffic lights with big arcs. Thanks guys, this made my day.

Another beat

Opera is acting a bit weird. It's already like the 10th time or something that it bumps back to the Brainwave entrainment page on the forums when I hit refresh. For some reason, Opera doesn't seem to update URL in the address bar for that specific tab.

While listening to owltwelve's cloud flaring beat today, I could spot the thoughts that led me to the dreaming state and managed to keep focusing on the upper chakras for most of the time. Though, after a while my head started pecking as if I were dreaming or OBE-ing. Don't have anything to support the head with.

Didn't get an euphoria feeling while listening to this. It just feels a lot denser above the head now.

Tried some wind redirection and stasis, but couldn't do much. Tried pk on a paper, but couldn't twitch that either.

Since for most of the time, I think I've missed the love aspect of pk, I modified a breathing exercise for practicing this:

I would breath in psi through the nose and sahasrara and move it to the bottom of the spine and gather there. Then I breath out from the bottom of the spine, radiating the feeling of love in all directions around me.

When I did this yesterday night, the radius of my surrounding that I felt one with expanded and atmospheric density within the radius increased noticeably. After a short session I felt a lot lighter as well.

Blizzard shielding

There was quite a blizzard today. Crossing the pedestrian bridge was quite difficult with this snow and wind. My eyes were being bombarded with snow so that it hurt. Although it was perfect for shielding practices, it didn't seem to have much of an effect on the snow. The wind didn't reach my skin, but the shield couldn't do much against the impulse of the incoming snowflakes.

Made psi spiral around me through the shield later. Well, the wind probably slowed down and it wasn't snowing so heavily anymore, but I think it worked a bit better than just visualizing a shield repelling off snowflakes and redirecting wind. Found that there was a discussion on spiraling energy movement on the forums as well.

Started listening to owltwelve's "atmospheric density" beat and within the first minutes, headphone wire started jolting around, though I didn't move myself. Pretty weird geisting and slightly distractive .. makes it somewhat more difficult to focus on the vibrations of the "atmosphere" or psi. =D I keep falling asleep while listening to the beat. Tempo seemed to get slower and slower and soon I was dreaming.

Took a break and went to kitchen. Corridor fluorescent lamp flickered, boom, a total blackout for a second or two. As I entered my room again, a fuse flipped out and my room went dark. It turns out that the lamp in father's room had burned out.

Opened the balcony for some fresh air a couple of hours later and there was another power shortage. And I was wondering why the streetlamps were all dark. Hm, it seems my control needs some more work =D.

Hypnagogic imagery

Breathing exercises made my spine and head feel hot. After doing the exercises, I directed the heat into the chakras above my head. I then let the feeling of heat dissipate down the head from the outside, as it felt right although I was hesitant because of logics.

Descended into a half-dream state while focusing on these chakras. Started seeing some random imagery of African locals eating and some other images that I've forgotten. For a moment, my mind was chatting in a language I hadn't heard before.

Somewhere early in the morning, through sleep I suddenly realized how the exam will be organized. Started preparing for it in my mind. He would say: "Now then, tell me everything you know about the subject." Went to school and the lecturer said: "This is how it goes: you'll have an hour to prepare and then you'll explain Signals and Systems to me as if you were in a pub, drinking beer with me."

Before this exam, I had a feeling of doing well no matter what happens, which is why I just couldn't study it much yesterday. Hit the bucket for a couple of times, but it was really a lot more fluent and friendly than I had anticipated. Used empathy to pinpoint sentences that I had to explain more. So, when he was looking through his remarks later, he realized that I had already answered to all of his questions during my performance =D.

Went to see the results of microworld physics or "quantum mechanics" exam. Had a bad feeling about it, the same kind of feeling before, during and after the exam. It turned out I had scored average, which the professor was not happy about. Well, I'm still pretty content with a B.

For the sig & sys exam, I wished for a sunny morning last night in a half-dream state. The sky was clear once for weeks and sun was shining. As for snow-walking, I think I'm experiencing a wear-out .. got to think up some new ways for levitation practice.

While coming home, the sky was building up cloud layers and it had become windy. It was the first time I noticed that atmospheric density peaked when a stronger gust of wind blew at me. Turns out that the wind shield automatically adjusts its psi density.

Tingling all over

Practiced owtwelve's suggested exercises (Yongchuan Breathing, Laogung Breathing, Fifth Gates Breathing) again for some time yesterday night. The effects of these exercises are pretty amazing.

Felt discomfort and pain in some places in my body after that. Before falling asleep, I successfully used vibration healing and removed tension and pain (which looked similar to some white oxide or salt inside and around organs). Thanks to the breathing exercises, I had built up enough atmospheric density to make the waves.

Had some trouble printing out lecture slides in the morning. I was occasionally subconsciously focused on the feeling how the printer is unable to take paper in. It was so responsive that I found it difficult to cope with at first.

Practiced walking on snow again on homewalk. The surroundings of the ski-path by the channel was freshly plowed and the snow there was slightly thicker than natural snowdrifts, but quite a few times less thick than on pedestrian paths.

Continued walking on the edge of the path where snow was the most soft. =D Roughly at every 10th or 15th step, one leg penetrated the surface and I was in snow to my knees. Didn't achieve the atmospheric density lifting me type of feeling that I often got yesterday. However, there were still quite a few steps when I felt the steps being weightless.

One exam done again and was planning on studying some for tomorrow's exam. Though, my whole body is tingling of energy so hard that I find it difficult to focus on reading the conspectus or watching lectures on youtube. I was wrong when I said on the forum that I feel energy outside the body different - I feel the tingling outside the body as well. Thanks to yesterday's healing, body feels all soft, muscles itch for a gym visit and energy reserves itch for pk practice..

An attempt on water stream

Went to the gym yesterday and although I was given a new key (lost it previous time), I couldn't find the lock this time =D. I checked the hundreds of locks for 3 times and couldn't see it. Should try gym visualization again..

Tried the energy cultivation exercises that owltwelve suggested on the forums yesterday night and my spine became really hot within a few minutes of practicing already.

After reading about FridgeNatious's success with pk on running water, I decided to take an attempt on kitchen sink. There was a dirty pot in the sink and there was barely any water in it. A good excuse for wasting clean water..

The water stream hopped around and changed narrower / wider according to intentions. When I tried to cut the flow like owltwelve did, water started dripping from the edge of the nozzle. The pot got full before I managed to fully entrain to the water stream though.

Found a local shop for ordering aquarium pumps pretty cheap. Need to figure out how to avoid it spraying the whole room with water. OpenEEG device is also in the queue for building .. and a few hobby programming projects. Have been busy studying for exams lately..

While walking to school, I practiced some owtwelve's energy cultivation exercises and tried to extend the area of this atmospheric density feeling.

Attempted walking on snow for a few hundred meters again. I felt as if I had clothes of atmospheric density (like attached to my back) with suspenders or something that reached the top of my head. Anyway, it felt like I was pulling myself upwards by the suspenders. Sometimes it felt like the atmospheric density construct attached to my back was being pushed upwards and away from the ground.

Occasionally had a few steps when I felt the softness of the snow and although I was only standing on one leg for some time, almost no weight was applied on the snow. It's just like in a levitation dream that I once had .. I was jumping the fences and realized that there was no reason for me to fall down again. Cool stuff..

While passing by a bus stop, I had a strong feeling I would meet a certain old friend. I even thought I saw him for a few times. Well, I didn't. Instead, I bumped into his father who was waiting at the bus stop. He encouraged me, said a few wise words: ".. a man of your caliber won't get stuck. It's a lifestyle .. studying is a lifestyle." I thought he was about to say: "Being successful is a lifestyle."

Met the same friend in the department store in the evening. Although he lives nearby, it's rather uncommon to bump into him.

Father said that he once put a bottle at 90 degrees angle in respect to the water stream from the kitchen faucet. He was blown to see water bending 90 degrees and flowing into the bottle =D. I wish I could do stuff on will that father does unconsciously.

Psi density at home

There's a completely different atmosphere at home. Especially in my room. At the summerhouse it took some effort to build up a slight atmospheric density or draw psi flow with greater intensity. At home, here's this quiescence of mind where all kind of thoughts and worries dissolve. Also, it almost doesn't matter what I'm doing, strong cushions of psi randomly build up around me and my mind is entrained to almost everything I see, hear or feel.

Switched the radiometer lamp on for some extra lighting. Radiometer didn't budge. Practiced rotating the vanes in their opposite spinning direction under the lamp. I could easily stop it again when table vibrations made it spinning. Any stray thought of the vanes spinning in their normal direction made it spin in the normal direction. To stop it from spinning, I simply directed some of the atmospheric density from around my head to the vanes. Ok, while writing this, I lost it .. this no longer worked and the vanes started gaining speed again.

Anyway, I think I managed to slightly budge the vanes in the opposite direction for a few times. At least every time I stopped the vanes, I immediately got the feeling of the vanes rotating in the opposite direction.

I guess there has been a change during the vacation. Psi density inside my head and around it feels different than it did before. It's stronger and feels normal.

Ah, one thing I've forgotten to write about for quite a while. When in a half-sleep state, I hear a lot of chatter in my head and none of it is with my voice. I hear the voices of family or friends. Noticed that in this state, I could choose what to listen to. Decided to investigate and broke the state to save and analyze a clip in my mind. It contained an awful lot of words without a meaning, but there seemed to be logic behind it all. I wonder if this is generated by my brain or if it's something that's going on in the minds of the people I'm listening to..

Swollen heart and invisible dog

Somebody had forgotten the TV on last night and I occasionally woke up and started listening to it. Tried to fall asleep again, but it was becoming more and more difficult. Thought the TV was annoying and right at that moment, there was a total blackout. Well, the TV was off =D, but I wanted to turn it off in a more civilized way. Electricity was back and switched the TV off.

A sidenote: while we were driving home, there was a blackout at the summerhouse that I guess lasted for the rest of the day.

Left for Tartu with uncle's family in the evening. Air conditioning is broken in his car and the last time he gave me a ride, it was like crouching in a snowdrift. My feet were cold and I was visualizing warm psi-socks. My feet became warmer, but they were still cold because constant wind was blowing on them. It suddenly changed when I fell asleep .. after that, my feet were warm.

I have taken a great challenge to learn levitation before summer and to get started, I visualized flying around, doing all kind of tricks that professionals would be able to do with planes.

It was cool and all, until an image popped into my mind (which didn't seem to relate with any of my thoughts). On the image, there was uncle's daughter in a white jersey. Her silhouette was blurry and she was like glowing. When I saw her, there was one thing that caught my attention - there was something pink and organ-like sticking out of her jersey at her heart. I wanted to push it back inside and started visualizing it. When I did, she started crying and screaming through her sleep.

This really took me apart. I started to regret what I had done. I started to doubt if I had good intentions after all. She was alive, though, crying often. Her mother thought she was just really uncomfortable lying in the same position for about 6 hours.

When we were at hometown already, uncle's son said something mind-boggling: "Did you know that there's someone invisible driving home with us?" His mom and dad were like WTF and asked who it was. He continued: "Paldo is driving home with us." (Paldo is the dog at summerhouse).

Well, what he did before saying that also seemed a bit weird to me. He rotated salon mirror and asked her mom if she saw herself through the mirror. It was so dark in the salon that there was no way she would've seen herself and that's what she said. She wanted to continue sleeping, but her son just kept asking it over and over.