Calculator

Enjoyed some heavy derivations again, until I either had to eat or the brain started smoking. Good concentration practice, especially with the cat meowing all around, sometimes poking the pages of the book, sometimes chewing on the book, sometimes chewing my hand, etc.

Reading the book now gets my mind blank and makes me feel quite floaty. <- dude gets high just on reading a physics book. Shit's ridiculous.

Anyway, had a dream where I was in a shack right in the middle of a field, with no walls and barely anything for a roof. Took a short break and stowed my laptop somewhere in the shack. I knew that the shack wouldn't withstand rain, nor would the laptop .. but for some reason I did it anyway. Went into some building where I needed the laptop but it had started raining.

Realized that laptop or any kind of computer = calculator (rational mind). With all these days full of joy from derivatives, integrals and math tricks, the dream symbology can't be more obvious. It indicated that I needed to take more care of bodily needs while at it. Bought some fruits and different peanuts. Probably had a lack of minerals.

Orb avoiding obstacles

I suspect that when I was seeing blue flashes in the dark, it might've been due to having glanced at the bright red LED of the projector clock. That's because I haven't used the projector clock for months and I haven't seen the blue flashes anymore.

However, there's another phenomena that I haven't quite figured out yet. Yesterday had a visiting journalist who was making interviews. Suddenly I saw a bright golden orb float near the wall of the room. It floated past one table, at which point I moved my eyes away (so that I could no longer see it) and back. I still saw it but by that time, it had almost gone past the other table next to the previous one. It continued moving in the same direction, until it got to the rectangular pillar-like thing with sockets for electricity and ethernet cables (how's it called?). Then the orb actually curved around the pillar and continued in the same direction, just along the wall. I confirmed that I could see it with both of my eyes, first with one, then with the other (it's only visible in quite narrow viewing angles). While it's otherwise nearly impossible to estimate the size of these things or their distance, I find it amazing that they would react to objects in the room.

There's one thing about these orbs that makes me feel a bit uneasy. When looking at them, it feels as if it's emitting a lot of radiation of some sort. It feels almost like looking at a welding arc without protection .. at a distance, of course. But additionally, when I once saw one of these orbs fly past my head on my left, I felt some kind of radiation on the left side of my head .. through the skull and through the brain. Even though fun to look at, these things might not be all that healthy.

So far I haven't had anyone else telling me about these, so I suspect they probably don't see it. Well, it is a somewhat rare sight and only visible from quite limited angles.

Power tale

Recently I've been practising concentration in a slightly different way. A book reading marathon. A somewhat thick book full of derivations, for PhD and stuff. After a day of reading and deriving, I've typically played a bit of Stalker (which has probably influenced some of my dreams).

Another factor that has probably influenced the dreams is a serious ego-slap that I had on Friday. Need quite a bit of meditation to cope.

Had an interesting dream last night, but since it was one of the first dreams, I don't remember too much about it anymore.

Dream: Power tale of an old shaman

Somehow my dead uncle popped into mind. He wasn't there directly, but the dream reminded me of his work with the local folklore. In the dream I was told a story of a powerful shaman hundreds of years ago. Throughout the dream, I could feel his power throughout the narrative. By the end of the dream, I think I met him just before he left this world, flying away.

Throughout the dream there was some guy doing the narration, and then I think the omnipresent shaman was always observing the whole thing. The narrator cited the shaman on everything being created by the mind. Or rather, it was the omnipresent shaman saying it instead of the narrator. Anyway, he did not mean the rational mind which is obvious. I was curious if there was any relation at all between the rational and the non-rational mind because I've often heard that the rational mind often tends to hamper spiritual progress. The answer was that the two are not mutually exclusive, and often develop together. As an example, I was shown that the shaman had derived most of physics and chemistry on a whim. Back then the formalism was not yet established, which made his scriptures very difficult to interpret. I was shown an old man who was trying to make sense of the scriptures. The man was puzzled at the shaman's periodic table of elements which contained descriptions of elements that were not yet known at that time.

Dream: Catwees

Two identical cats and for some reason they kept pissing on corners in the apartment. Throughout the dream I carried the cats to some place where they were supposed to relieve themselves. Except that there was no dedicated place for that.

Soaked

Caught a heavy rain + hail + rain today morning. Got a bit soaked. Wasn't hit by lightning though, so perhaps uncle Zeus wasn't really that pissed at me.

My backpack is no longer as waterproof as it used to be. Water comes in from the top but doesn't drain all that quickly. Due to this, my earphones got soaked, as did one side of the laptop. I let the laptop sit on the wet edge to pour out most of the water, then blew some more water out with pressurized air, after which I warmed it in the thermal chamber for about an hour. Everything seems to be working fine.

Before getting out of bed today morning I listened to some geisting noises. First of all it sounded as if someone was bouncing basketball under my bed. The time interval between the bounces did not match the space between my bed and my floor. This sound might've been hypnagogia. Though, the sound of something repetitively snapping inside the mattress - that was not.

Waning moon

Shikantaza

Inspired by O12, tried something similar to shikantaza last night. Picked a stressed region in the body and observed whatever it was that went through the mind. Once I had relaxed the body and the regular mind, I went deeper. Then deeper again. Then cat jumped on my stomach, startling me out of this meditation (the cat is heavy).

The cat also wanted to enjoy meditation. It took me a while (perhaps 15 min) to relax again.

I've found that it helps when I focus on the space around me. Need to spread the consciousness enough so that I would have a background viewpoint without getting absorbed in the arising emotions or images. When relaxing a region within the body, I anchored the "secondary attention" around my back, sides and in front of me. The more the volume and distance, the stronger the anchor. However, it needs to have enough density to be of help. When relaxing the mind, I spread it out on a plane just below the layer of mind that I was relaxing.

Cat: Wake up, wake up, look up there

"What now-Oh"

A large waning moon (according to https://www.moongiant.com/phase/today/, 7%) right in front of me. Felt quite mysterious. Imagine the feeling of being alone in the world with the moon and a cat (everyone else is sleeping). I wanted to sleep but apparently the cat kept staring at it until it descended behind some buildings just before the dawn. Man, the cat is better at Trataka than me.

Got a lot of very short deep cycles of sleep.

Dream: Pk camp

On Thursday morning I had a dream where I woke up to some voices outside. Waltzed to the balcony and looked down. A British master teaching psychokinesis to a small group of people (5 - 6) that were sitting around him in a half-circle. Recognized the master - I had seen him teaching somewhere before .. but I was surprised to see him in the back yard.

I would've wanted to go down and listen to him as well, but I had barely any time before going to work. So, I tried to pack my things as fast as I could, and get down there.

Wrong approach, dreams don't work that way. Should've sat on the balcony and listened to him from there.

Dream: Gliding around

Jumped down from a bunch of rocks that started emitting wasps, and floated. The ground looked slippery and dangerous, so I visualized a sledge. The sledge eventually broke into pieces. Flew back, landing every now and then to gather the pieces (wouldn't want to litter the environment). I was happy about the flying, it always lifts the mood.

Dream: Herb store

Wandered through the town, looking for someplace to eat. All of them were ridiculously expensive. Eventually got to a small store where they sold some eco stuff. I consider myself educated enough to know that "eco" = "ridiculously overpriced". I looked around, until the lady at the counter asked what it was that I would like to have. I selected something, and witnessed the peculiarities of the dream body again - touching something was the same as smelling, tasting and eating it. It was something made of mint and whenever I touched it, I felt mint throughout the body. I was embarrassed by my manners - eating something off the counter and not even paying for it.

The dream seemed very vivid up until the moment when I touched the object. The dream deterioriated soon after.

Mattress is alive!

I've been releasing blockages recently. Often I've been laying in bed while doing so. Sometimes the mattress twitches and makes a snapping sound. I used to think it was the cat poking at the mattress with its claw or something. Though, I know that the cat is polite enough not to do that. Last night I managed to isolate the cat from my room. Well, except for his cloud of consciousness *cough* hair particles that fly around. Anyway, the cat was not in my room and that was confirmed by the sound of him crunching his food behind the door. Experienced the strongest mattress twitch thus far, not far from the feet. The snapping sounds from furniture and walls still occur as well - no changes there.

Also, the ceiling lamp at work was constantly making a clicking sound yesterday.

Stress due to a work deadline and frustration due to other colleagues not taking it seriously enough.

Regardless, there have been a lot of realizations in the past couple of months that I've utilized to change my life. It's not only spiritual .. the body is also changing again. Healing vibrations throughout the body, feeling prana flow, waves of heat propagating up the body, etc.

My eating habits have changed as well. I've noticed that I don't like eating meat anymore. For lunch at work, there's barely anything without meat so I still eat meat there. While this has come gradually over months, I only noticed it perhaps a couple of weeks ago that I had begun opting for vegetarian courses in the menus. Tastes way better.

Freefall

Decided to make a silicon mold for electret experiments. Opened the balcony window, cat hopped onto the metal-sheet flashing. He nearly fell off. I tried to invite him back. No luck. Gently touched his tail, which startled him and he actually fell down.

That's not the first time that he's fallen from there, but this time he's larger and heavier. Regardless, he had landed just fine. He backed up and looked up to the 4th floor so that I would see him. I went down and picked him up from underneath the spruce tree. The experience was quite a shock for him, but at least this time he wasn't alone.

Felt sorry for him, while at the same time I was inspired by his experience. For me it emphasized the power of clear-minded concentration during an emergency. It also associated with the book Project superman by Michael Andrew Pero.