Rainshield and waterpickin'

It was raining yesterday and I got the chance to try shielding myself against rain again. I haven't had any measurable success yet, but it did seem as if the probability of getting hit by a raindrop lessened when I was concentrating on the shield. I also noticed that my shirt was dotted with raindrops - it wasn't all wet. Well, it wasn't raining very bad either - just a constant dripping. What was weird though, was that within the last few (like 8) minutes of the 35 minute walk I could no longer concentrate enough and  as more drops started falling on my shirt, it got wet like within minutes. I had just checked my shirt those 8 minutes ago and it was half-dry, half-wet. So, it could have actually worked .. to some extent, that is.

I also tried waterpicking again yesterday. I had taken a 2-day break from PK practice. =/ The results were just as expected. After such a break, I'm able to get things moving better than during constant practice. However, a few seconds later it's all gone. This time I suddenly lost all of my belief. Suddenly these pk-suicidal thoughts popped into my mind: "It's moving! What? It's impossible, I can't move it." Yup, and I was staring at it for like 10 minutes after that. I could no longer even visualize the feeling of it moving.

Took it up again today. This time I also threw in a cotton bud, thinking that I might be able to move one in one direction and the other in the other direction. This way, I would avoid inducing a habit of only being able to move the toothpick in one direction (which has been the case so far). Well, I could move it for the first second, I guess. Then silence. I occasionally managed to amplify up the feeling of how they should move, but my mind kept killing it by trying to move it in the opposite direction at the same time. =P So I taped it to test if the objects were wiggling forwards and backwards when I watched it at hi-speed. That seemed to be the case indeed and although I couldn't be sure if I saw them moving with my own eyes, they actually had been moving at the moments I felt it. I guess that at least the feelings should be right then.

Fragmented wakeup

I've been off practicing for a couple of days now. We have been watching movies with friends and as a side-effect, I've been missing some hours of sleeptime recently. So, I packed myself full of psi each day and was able to avoid being too tired at work. =P It seems that psi is still better than coffee and energy drinks.

We went to the cinema to watch Inception (I wasn't satisfied with the pirated edition provided by torrent) yesterday. It was incredibly cold in there (20 degrees or something?), considering that it was something like 30 degrees of Celsius outside and something like 24 during midnight. It got too cold for me and I started building constructs to warm myself. To feed the constructs, I gathered a lot of psi from everywhere around me (except for people, because I don't like vampires and  neither do I want to be one myself). It got warmer sure enough. When the movie ended, I didn't feel tired at all - I had stuffed so much psi into my body.

When I got home today, I decided to take a nap, as I was quite tired of being tired. I woke up somewhere in the middle of a deep dream to check the clock. Usually I wouldn't do this, but I decided to break it and wake up in order to still make it into the department store. The whole time I felt as if a part of me were still sleeping. I felt the warmth of the bed and the softness in all of my bones. I also noticed that I couldn't concentrate on anything around me - I could do it for a few seconds even when I hadn't slept for 48 hours. When I walked past the bed, to some extent it actually felt as if a part of me was still sleeping there.

Some chest-like exercises again

Tried waterpicking again in the morning and it was actually affected by my intentions similarly to the attempt 2 days ago.

Meditated for about 1 hour (well, actually a few minutes less) with pauses (had to move my legs to allow for blood circulation). For the first few minutes, I chanted "Ommm..." in my mind many times while visualizing the symbol of "Om" (as well as I could remember it, cause I have seen it only a couple of times and haven't really paid much attention to the details). The next few minutes, I chanted "Om mani padme hum.." (just a mantra that I saw somewhere once and it got stuck into my memory). This time I visualized the chanting with a typical monk voice as clearly as I could. I tried to visualize the Om symbol again, but couldn't. So I visualized myself meditating in my self-built dreamworld. Calmness along with a good feeling of concetration came in and my ego (or that part of myself that's constantly trying to mess up everything progressive I'm trying to do) drew my attention to the people below my balcony.

I opened my eyes and noticed that my body had become quite calm. Checked the clock and only a few minutes had passed. I closed my eyes again and visualized myself meditating in my dream world again, but this time with levitation and in another place I had created on that purpose. I also visualized a few butterflies, ants and birds moving around me this time. It still got a bit boring, so I left a part of me meditating there and went to explore the high alien-style building I had once created for studying stuff while meditating / dreaming. Instead of books, I had added an old monk in white clothes onto the top floor and I was going to visit him for some concentration exercises. Before I even made it to the building, everything started spinning around me with every step towards the tower. Tried moving fast, levitation, stasis field, but none of these helped. So, I had to put a lot of effort into sensing the amount of rotation and spinning myself with the same speed in reverse. Got to the tower / tall building finally, but this time the elevator didn't work and was quite unstable; making jerky movements up and down. Again, stasis field didn't help and simply concentrating on the elevator didn't help either. I had to kind of concentrate deeper into myself so that the dreamworld almost faded away. When I both concentrated deep into myself and maintained the dreamworld while concentrating on the elevator, I occasionally managed to control it.

When I arrived up at the room where the monk was sitting, he asked me to gain better control over the elevator before he would give me a new exercise. So, now I had to gain control over the elevator while it was in the upper position, go down, gain control over it again and repeat the process until I had mastered moving the elevator with my mind. Man, it was difficult and I guess that's what took me most of the hour of meditation time. Furthermore, in meditation or dream state, time ticks faster than in reality. I could tell that the monk was a bit disappointed in such a slow progress of mine. Anyway, I finally thought I had gotten the hang of it and went up to the monk again. He gave me a huge cake with which I had to master the elevator again. It was difficult to even balance it in my hands so that it wouldn't fall apart, so it took me a while before I could even think of approaching the elevator again. 

I finally got a shield over the cake so that I was able to throw it around without making it crash down into porridge. The cake had a cherry or something at the top that had the tendency to fall off. Other than that, playing with the elevator while holding the cake wasn't as difficult as I had first thought. The only problem was that any jerky movement would apply an acceleration and deform the cake. So I had to master it without any jerky movements and with smooth deceleration at both ends (top and bottom floor). I took off, longing for some vacation from these exercises. I said I would be back tomorrow and went to visualize my second house in the dreamworld. While doing that, I suddenly noticed that some kind of vibration had kicked into everything around me. When I focused in on it, the previous spinning exercise was back on me again. I was quickly able to overcome it without much effort this time.

Waterpicked some again. I threw the toothpick into the water (at the center of the plastic box) and tried to make it swim to one end of the box parallel with the longer edge. The toothpick made it. Now I tried to make it swim back without rotating. It sometimes kind of like started moving backwards, but then I lost concentration again. Its will was so great to continue going in the direction it was first ordered to that whenever I lost concentration, it would quickly accelerate into swimming in the original direction again. It slid towards a longer edge of the box and at about 1.5 cm, I finally got it to move back towards me. The toothpick swum to my side of the box, parallel to the longer edges. Now I wanted it to reverse its direction again before hitting the edge. It was all the same - couldn't do it at first and when I could, I couldn't get it go to the other edge. It just stopped halfway and started coming back, cause I suddenly lost my concentration again. =/

Dream of pk

Yay, I saw a dream of pk yesterday night. I tried to move my laptop battery around on the table. I could see it moving, but whenever I stopped, it snapped back to where it was at first. Then I put more effort into it and could easily move it around with some awesome control.

Gonna try waterpicking again today. =/ The same as yesterday evening - couldn't move it at all (not even spinning anymore). I tried it the second time, but still couldn't even visualize the feeling of it moving. And then tried the covered psi-wheel, but couldn't affect anything. The only thing that happened was that I got a headache. That's when I remembered having a headache while going to sleep yesterday - man, have I really overdone it with psionics again? Don't know - I could spin it uncovered and twitch it covered after that.

Watched "Inception" today and when it ended, it felt detached from my everyday life - just as if I had been away for some months at least. A really good movie, but way too much action, I think. If there were more creativity instead of guns blazin', I would've liked it even more.

It would be interesting to learn more about dreaming. Visiting foreign places (some of which were as detailed as they would be in real life) is pretty common in dreams. There has been at least 1 dream where a friend of mine (couldn't recognize him / her from my "real" life) showed me their creation, which was a really cool little place in the woods. There have been a few dreams where I have met new people. There have been dreams, where I have helped people out of some kind of situations. There has been a dream in which I woke up in another body. Now what if in some dreams we actually see real places and meet real people?

Discussion with subconscious

While coming home, I liked the cloudy weather. When the weather is cloudy, I sometimes feel like I'm looking down onto myself. I'm kind of diffused around myself so that I can see and feel my surroundings as well as myself.

Being bored, I entertained myself by looking at the world through the minds of people passing by. I'm always amazed at how differently the world around us can be seen. It feels like the world is one, yet there are billions of people in it and every one of them have their own view on the world. It's fun and the feelings that you sense can be unpacked to reveal details about their everyday lives, how their home looks like and so on..

I think I haven't noticed it before, but I have had interesting conversations with my subconscious. Sometimes, when I need to answer something funny, but with a deep meaning, I let my subconsciousness do it. I was thinking about people's goals and stuff and remembered that someone had said something in the lines of: "we need to be careful with our wishes, because every one of them comes true. Fortunately, in life, there is a delay to the fulfillment of wishes."  I asked myself: "why would such a delay be needed, when we are all in  a hurry anyway - life is short." An answer popped into my mind: "Time is unimportant when you're in a hurry. Time only matters when there's infinity of it." =P I couldn't understand it and asked my subconscious mind for an explanation. "When in a hurry, you should focus on what you're doing instead of letting yourself be influenced by the short amount of time that is available." popped into my mind.

Waterpicked some again. On the first try, it kept spinning clockwise the same way it did yesterday. Moreover, I could only move it in one direction. No matter how hard I tried to make it swim in reverse, it didn't - it only stopped. And whenever I stopped trying to make it swim in reverse, it kept swimming forward and rotating clockwise. I gave up and tried again later.

On the second try, I could stop it from spinning clockwise by making it spin counter-clockwise and balance it all out. The only problem was that it all took so much effort that at some moment, I could no longer move it in any direction - it was just stuck, slightly twitching clockwise and then counterclockwise. Man, toothpick on water is such a great exercise for improving control over pk. Every slight feeling of movement affects the trajectory of the toothpick. Furthermore, it's not only the feeling, but also the strength and clarity of the feeling that matters - that's why I'm having trouble making it swim in reverse (can't visualize the feeling very clearly).

I noticed that whenever I attempted to get a feeling of not only the toothpick, but the water below it as well, the speed of the toothpick's movements and control over them increased remarkably.

Waterpicking

Cool, I tried that toothpick on the water exercise again today and it actually seemed to have followed my intention. This time I started it a bit different - I threw the toothpick right into the water and started practicing without waiting for the water to calm down first.

At first I intended the toothpick to follow an oval path (turn around in the corners and then drift parallel to the box edges). There was an obvious problem with that .. the angular momentum was preserved and the toothpick kept spinning clockwise. Because of that, I failed to make it move parallel to the box edges. Ok, I tried to stop it spinning and make it drift backwards (in reverse to the impulse I gave it at first). It only slowed down a little and still hit the edge with its tip. Even after hitting the edge, it was still difficult to make it reverse its direction while it was still spinning around quite fast. It then hit the longer edge; the spinning motion stopped and it started gaining speed quite fast..

Here's a quick (and not very accurate) sketchup of how the toothpick moved (black curves) and how I had intended it to move (orange curve).

 

Before going to sleep, I tried some meditation with a visualization of becoming lighter in order to practice levitation. As I felt becoming lighter, some heavy snapping sounds started coming from both the living-room and my bedroom. I didn't let it bother me. Other than that, I haven't heard much snapping lately..

Need more practicing

Tried the stasis field exercise yesterday before going to sleep, but I was so tired that when I was about to plug the fan in, I accidentally slipped the ground clip under my nail and it started bleeding. Couldn't achieve much - I could get it to slow down, but not stop (at full speed).

I went to sleep after a few minutes of meditation. I saw a cool dream, but I don't think it's related to psionics anyhow.

I also felt quite tired today, but I still thought I should practice something before going to sleep. I took a plastic box, poured it full of water and threw a toothpick in. I tried to float it around with pk, recording it at the same time. Well, it was really difficult to notice any movement, but it was the first time with a toothpick and water anyway. When I watched the recording with some enormous playback speed, I saw it moving - it seemed as it had actually moved for about 1 cm.

I tried the stasis field exercise again today, but nothing better than yesterday. Didn't bother to record it today.


Took an aluminum can, balanced it onto a plastic bottle and tried to psychokinetically push it over. Well .. I failed to even get it to budge.
 

Concentration

I feel like I'm slowly beginning to understand what psionics and yoga are about. They are exercises on concentration (or in other words, self-control). The problem is that although self-control is my goal, I have been skipping on concentration exercises, or at least it's been a while since the last time I did them.


So, there's no time for whining any more, I have to practice my concentration daily. I guess that's what someone has been trying to help me with - forceful concentration exercises during meditation or even when I'm asleep. See the "chest" tags and this post: http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2010/07/first-nightmare-in-years.html.


Thanks to poseidonii on youtube, I found a page with a few good concentration exercises: http://learn-telekinesis-training.com/telekinesis-concentration-exercise-1.php.


I'm slowly advancing with the first concentration exercise. I tried the covered psi-wheel again to find that the sudden twitches no longer startled me (well, not as much as they did before). I was telling my theory to my father - the theory of why my PK problems are related to the lack of concentration. While doing so, I noticed that I put it in an interesting way: "When you're concentrating on the object deeply enough so that you lose the feeling of yourself and only the feeling of the object remains, your reflexes no longer work." It's interesting because I hadn't realized it before saying it.

ShirakOmegaX commented on the stasis field attempt and motivated me to try it again. I still couldn't stop it, nevertheless make it spin in reverse, but I realized, just how good the exercise is for improving on the ability to concentrate.

TheMoonKingdom sent an awesome reply to my message. I'll quote it when he gives the permission. In general, he suggested me to focus on the process of practicing PK instead of the outcome. He said that the ability to concentrate also depends on what we are concentrating on.

Here's how he commented my urge to practice PK on the covered psi-wheel:

I associate it with gaining skeptic approval; which is not what PK is about for me. It's kind of like, you finally break free of one reality box by accomplishing PK. Then you let the skeptics put you into a new one...literally:) It's a different skill because there is less kinetic energy to manipulate in a small container. That being said; there may be value to this skill, but you might want to ask yourself why you want to learn it. I can get it to move, but I don't see what it does for me compared with other PK skills:)

And here is his tip regarding issues on concentration:

A Tip:

Try to admire the things you want to move rather than focusing on the outcome. To quote The Book of Five Rings, "Do something for the spirit of the thing itself". These are the words of a samurai, experienced with facing death in one move, but focused on the beauty of the sword draw insted of life & death. To master concentration, you need to enjoy the thing you're concentrating on. I'm sure you have no trouble concentrating on a video game, or a cute girl, or delicious meal ect. You develop focus by making the thing you're focused on, the meaning of life while your focused on it:)

Lots of sleeptime

Slept 9 hours during the night + 3 additional hours during the day and I felt like I could sleep about 10 hours more. I thought my body was out of minerals / vitamins and took a vitamin pill. The additional sleep hours came during covered psi-wheel practice - I looked at the psi-wheel, twitched it slightly and fell asleep.

Uncoordinated attempts

The last few days, I have been doing chaotic pk exercises (some 10 minutes of pk on random stuff on the table). Couldn't get them to move by verifiable amounts. I tried to reduce the weight of a battery on a kitchen scale. Unfortunately, the kitchen scale kept shutting down and during the short operating time, I failed to achieve the goal. The same as usual - I could feel them moving, but I couldn't see any results or if I did, they were negligibly small. Well, I probably need some more practice before I succeed in these things.

I also tried pk stasis field on the shadow of the spinning propeller and didn't notice any difference - it slowed down just as usual. An idea came to my mind: could I slow down the propeller with my eyes closed? If I could someday do it, then I think it would help me get rid of the mind-block that's limiting my covered psi-wheel attempts..

Haven't meditated for already a week and I feel like in order to succeed and remain indifferent  to success, I have to do that as well.

It was so hot that I decided to meditate on the balcony. It was too bright for my eyes outside, so I closed them. A good gust of wind came from the left and went to the right. I opened my eyes to confirm that it was completely silent and that there wasn't any wind. Strange, I thought and continued meditating. I visualized the typical grounding exercise, directed a flow of psi through my head that felt full of blockages. Suddenly some water started coming down from the upper balcony. I opened my eyes and stood aside so that I wouldn't get hit. It was so dry and sunny outside that my first thought was the neighbors either pouring beer or pissing down their balcony. I was       surprised that the water was almost odorless - it was as if a bucket with yesterday's rain water had fallen over or something. Weird, as there was nobody up there and I couldn't hear a sound before the water started to fall. It reminded me of the strange dark water that fell in the living room on Saaremaa (see http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2009/12/dark-water-from-nowhere.html).

One thing that I have tried for a few times during meditation or when walking to school: I wonder if it were possible to somehow transform sweat into something else as soon as it surfaces so that it would smell like a blossomed lilac. Usually there is a problem visualizing it - I can't remember how lilac smelled like. This time I could smell something that slightly reminded me something of lilac, but still not what I was looking for.

I also tried to form constructs that would help on digesting preservatives, pesticides and other kinds of unhealthy stuff. Based on a youtube video I found some days ago (a woman spiritualist had visited Estonia and given a lecture on light transformation or something). I considered it fluff while watching it and thus didn't add it to my favorites nor did I stuff the link into this blog - and I can't find it anymore. Anyway, she had built a matrix into her light body, by visualizing cappuccino being transformed into light. Since then, she has more-or-less eaten nothing more than a cup of cappuccino every day. While I was visualizing these constructs, I definitely started feeling better in the stomach area, but I'm a bit doubtful about any long-term effects.


During the short meditation session, I noticed that I could see with my eyes closed again (to some degree). It's probably vision through my brain analyzing sounds, as I can usually only see something similar to a depth-map (no colors, only a feeling of positioning of the objects around me). Similarly to a depth-map, my nose was brighter than the background. Usually, when I focus on my nose, I get this uneasy feeling of being able to morph the shape of my nose. This was also the case today.

Stasis on propeller in the past

I received another confidence-boosting comment from TheMoonKingdom on Youtube. I got an idea to try a slight modification of the stasis field exercise. I came back from jogging, dripping of sweat. I put the laptop recording, plugged the fan in, took my clothes and went away to take a shower for some 18 minutes or so (while making sure I kept my thoughts away from the experiment). I came back and stopped the recording. So far I hadn't noticed anything weird going on with the propeller or anything.

Later, when I was watching the video, I tried to affect the speed of the propeller. I was blown to see that it actually slowed down when I practiced the pk stasis field on the already recorded propeller. The response seemed almost the same with when I was sitting on my bed, staring at the propeller spinning. The only difference I noticed, was that I couldn't keep the propeller still for as long as I could when I was sitting in front of it.

I paused the video, thinking whether I could still affect the rest of it after clicking play again. I enjoyed a glass of cold cacao and yogurt. Came back and had difficulties affecting it at first (I thought it was related to a part of my mind being focused on digestion). About half a minute later, the recorded propeller started responding to my attempts again. Success of my attempts were not worse than that of the previous session (before pausing).

Pretty wild, this means that I could have affected TheMoonKingdom's stasis field experiments and he could have affected mine while watching the videos.

The first nightmare in years

Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to try the covered psiwheel again. But before resorting to the old psiwheel, I tried a new object - a pyramid with oil and plastic fish in it (just like the waterwheel of oil that ShirakOmegaX showed in his watermill video). It took me some 10 minutes to realize how difficult it is to affect the fish with pk - I could hardly move them without manually (by shaking the pyramid). Friction was simply off the chart. Ok, I thought and sat in front of the covered psiwheel. After about 10 minutes again, I started feeling it twitching slightly, but couldn't see it clearly enough to be convinced. Messed with it some more, but the reflexive stasis shield always kept popping up, stopping it whenever it started moving.

The day before I barely got any sleep - I ended up being in a half-meditative, half-dream state for the whole night. I wasn't tired because of it, but I wanted to get some sleep this time. I went to bed early although I wasn't exactly sleepy. Moreover, the neighbors were hitting a party downstairs. I thought of it as a great exercise for a method I had come up with a couple of years ago. I concentrate on the noise in front of my closed eyes. Soon, patterns and then images start morphing out of the noise. Pay attention to the images only and ignore all other sensations (like the neighbors shouting downstairs, good smell coming from the kitchen and so on..). After a while, you may feel like you're falling down into a dark hole - it might startle you up again (I kept waking up for some half an hour before finally falling asleep).

Well, I was asleep and it was already the 3rd time I saw my sister (who's on Saaremaa), desperately wanting to show her something. In the first 2 dreams, it was the stasis field video I had recorded. In the 3rd one, it was a book on old Olmecian culture or something. She said she didn't like that kind of books, but then I opened the book, pulled a whistle out of it and blew it. It sounded beautiful and she liked it.


I also remember a clip of a slightly unpleasant dream where I saw abstract images of human body. The images consisted of simple geometrical shapes like rhombs, triangles and squares. I remember a picture of the bone structure built up from these shapes. Probably a dream resulting from the discussion of "how the heck can human psi field be built up of 2 dodecahedrons?" (see the theory of Hoagland here or in the "Flower of Life" book) with my father.


I woke up to check if I had set my mobile phone to ring at 8.00 in the morning (had to go to work again). It was quite dark and I at first I had a hard time finding my phone in the pockets. When I found it, it caught my attention that it was off. I thought the batteries were empty - it's been a while when I last charged it. I tried to switch it on. It made a faint sound, but never turned the backlight on. I noticed that there was a weird reflection on the phone screen and it changed every time I tried to switch it on. It was red and reminded me of something creepy. I looked at it more closely - it was a half-rotten skull. I panicked and felt fear building up (haven't felt it for I don't know, 4 years?). Then I thought like: "WTF, since when do I get scared?" But when I looked at the screen, it truely was scary .. more and more of those psi-vampire zombies kept swarming up in the red monochromic reflection. I remembered having practiced pk, took my hand and wiped the screen. It seemed to have pushed these spooky guys farther away. Then suddenly I found myself in the same world / room with these zombies. I had to concentrate more to keep them away from me. It really started to feel like yet another focal meditation exercise, but this time it didn't feel like it was me, who visualized it - more like I was made to take this test. I think I passed it and could wake up from the nightmare. Being awake, everything looked the same, although my mobile screen was a bit smaller and didn't have any red reflections.

I considered that last dream weird, cause I haven't watched TV, haven't played any computer games, nothing for full 2-3 weeks. The only thing I was able to relate it to was the picture of Shiva I saw on a book in the department store that same day. The book title seemed to be about murderous cults and it featured the logos of some cults with a picture of Shiva with a bloody sword and a necklace of skulls.

Pk stasis on a propeller

It has been a few days of pk stasis field practice on the propeller. Two days ago I found that when I rotated the fan, I could find an angle, on which the propeller was spinning relatively slow, but fast enough for not being able to see the blades. On such a low speed I could almost bring the propeller to a standstill.

So far I have recorded almost every pk stasis field attempt on the propeller (the attempt 2 days ago included), but most of them were of lousy quality, no sound and featuring my crazy spinning eyes in the background (so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open). Today I decided to remake the video with better lighting and sound. The only problem was that I had been planning on releasing the video before I even recorded it .. and I was nervous.

While on the video that I made 2 days ago, I could affect the speed of the propeller when the propeller was spinning at full speed. Today, I simply couldn't - I didn't believe I could. Knowing that it's recording, I panicked and tried to force it with all kinds of constructs, when the propeller didn't slow down. While doing this, I managed to get my heart area to hurt slightly - it happens, when I put too much effort into pk.


Anyway, here's the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzdrKarFnt4. I also found a cool video of ShirakOmegaX practicing pk on a watermill.

3 methods for stasis

Tried different techniques for altering the speed of the propeller today evening. 

• I tried to bring it to a halt by staring at it until my mind becomes blank and then intend it to stop spinning (it seemed effortless, but as it started to slow down, some kind of excitement reflexes got triggered and my mind came out of the blank state). 
• I also tried visualizing a dense construct around the propeller (couldn't get it dense enough - I suck at constructs). 
• Then I just visualized the blades spinning in reverse, but with this method, the slower the blades became, the more concentration it seemed to require to keep the visualization (I really should practice focal meditation more, I guess).

Couldn't get it slow enough for the blades to be clearly seen at 30 fps.

Setup for stasis field practice

Before going to sleep yesterday, I took an old microwave oven fan, put up the propeller blades of an old plane toy (with the help of a bench clamp) to see if I could somehow affect the speed of the spinning blades. At first, the propeller was spinning so fast that I could only see a blurry transparent disk around the center. However, during some stasis field attempts, the speed actually dropped so that I could clearly see the blades rotating. It's a lot of practicing until I can get the blades to stand still or even rotate in reverse, I guess.


It's cool, how easy it is to affect the speed of something already spinning. I really recommend this exercise to people having difficulties with control over the psi-wheel. See this tutorial: http://www.psionicsonline.net/forums/index.php/topic,1822.0.html.

Signed up for the gym today and I got tired really quickly. What's interesting though, is that after the workout, my mind was completely blank (haven't experienced it lately through meditation only). Even the Saturday's jogging didn't have such an effect. So, we really should do all kinds of exercises from meditation to jogging and muscle training.

It reminds me of chopping firewood - my favorite activity, as it improves my back, various muscles on my hands, reaction speed, ability to concentrate and endurance as well as self-discipline. When my thoughts aren't clean enough (nervous about something, etc.), then the firewood pieces keep hitting me; flying into my face, kicking my legs and so on. When I grow tired of concentrating or when my head is cluttered with wandering thoughts, I can't hit the exact point I'm visualizing and sometimes even miss the whole piece of firewood. The same happens, when the muscles are tired. Chopping from early in the morning till the dark once already made me feel good (in total control over myself) for several weeks.

First comment

I think I was discontent with myself (all that clumsiness) because of not having done any workout. Couldn't bare the uneasiness and jumpy mood anymore and went jogging - it really helped.


It's been a while since I last used a shield to locate objects around me. I couldn't find a scoop in the kitchen and visualized my surroundings, looking for it. I didn't feel it in its usual places that popped into my mind. The only place I felt unsure of was the dishwasher. I opened it, looked it through twice and still couldn't see it. I still found it in the dishwasher finally, hidden under some mugs and glasses.

Edit: Weird, I thought I had written about how I have used it before, but couldn't find any posts on the subject. Posted the most weird one here: http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2009/07/lost-scissors.html.


Anyway, I used to practice this whenever I was about to open the fridge or the cupboard with dishes. I tried to feel and visualize the contents of the fridge to verify that they are indeed there before opening the door. This way, I already knew where to pick things from before I walked to the fridge. I did the same to search for spoons or forks when the tables were all cluttered with other stuff.


I watched the youtube video that Aurafire had posted a while ago on VSociety. Tried to roll a pencil on my desk, but I guess that the surface is quite uneven - it only rolled for a couple of cm. I took the aluminum soda can and it was really fun trying to stop it and make it roll in reverse, when approaching the edge of the desk / table.

After that I looked through some more psychokinesis videos and it popped into my mind that I should check my own videos for comments, as I haven't done so for months. Cool, I actually had a comment - written yesterday. It was TheMoonKingdom, whose stasis field video I had commented on.

Before going to sleep, I watched another pk video, where he was playing around with a candle flame (this one). I decided to try it out myself, but couldn't find any candles. Used the same location method to find a candle and matches (instead of the flamethrowing lighter that I tried first). The candle barely burned, but the flame actually seemed to react to some visualizations. The flame started flickering slightly, when I visualized a whirlwind. I also got the flame to lean itself in some directions. However, I really lacked control over it - when something worked, it worked sometimes and not the next moment. There also seemed to be a delay to the movement of the flame - most of the few successful attempts couldn't move it instantly (rather like a second later). I also tried to extinguish it with a cold construct, but failed. The flame became smaller for a couple of times, but it was way too little to extinguish it.

Clumsy

I was really hungry, when I came home today. I put a few eggs boiling and prepared a huge mug of Kama (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kama_(food)). Reached for sugar and somehow I managed to perform some weird move so that I wiped the cup over, splashing all my clothes, table, the chair, kitchen floor, door and everything full of that stuff. Actually, I have never even seen or thought it possible that someone could bring such a chaos from just one tipped mug. Furthermore, when I have spilled something, it has usually happened in a controlled manner (it hasn't dropped where I absolutely didn't want it to drop).


Too bad, I thought and spent additional half an hour cleaning the mess before I could eat anything. I couldn't understand why I had to do this. Following up on yesterday's post, I started thinking that there's got to be a reason for this, but I really couldn't see any. I know that I'm not that sloppy, unless I'm really tired or nervous about something, but none of these were the case this time. I thought maybe my subconsciousness is up to something funny; haven't been feeling aware of it for quite a while.

Father came home right when I had finished cleaning up so that I could discuss stuff with him again. He had been watching a few crop circle videos and was convinced that the Grays are (were) planning an enhancement on the magnetic field of Earth for the upcoming rise in solar activity. I, a bit disappointed in my clumsiness in handling such simple objects as mugs, tried to crack his excitement. Indeed, the video he showed was a bit suspicious. On the other hand, the idea of a magnetic shield really does seem to clear up the meaning for a lot of crop circles.

Naruto::awaken

Watched todays Naruto Shippuuden (167) and it was simply awesome how it all had come together. Having struggled through a lot of difficulties, Naruto was at a loss, realizing that it has all been pointless and he hasn't reached anything he had been dreaming of. He didn't care anymore and was ready to leave everything behind. It's interesting how this always happens when we're actually the closest to the destination - to the point we have always been reaching for and we just can't realize it (we're so blinded by what has always been going on in front of our eyes that we see the same when in actuality there's nothing in front of us). At the same moment, The Fourth Hokage, aka Naruto's father appeared. It really felt like Naruto became enlightened the moment he saw his father. Like the mirage before his eyes faded away and he could tell where he was, realizing how all of his experiences and decisions fit together as his path to the point he has reached.


It's really difficult to pass on the feeling through words. I experienced a tiny version of this feeling when I got the last place in the local Olympiad in Informatics. I was so pissed at myself that I mocked myself until I found that half of me was mocking the other half, which was already crying, as it felt responsible for all that had happened. Then suddenly (a couple of seconds later) I realized that there had to be 2 of me, or otherwise it couldn't have happened and when I did, I burst out laughing. I realized how it all fits together and how almost everything I had done, was necessary for what happened. I couldn't thank myself enough for getting myself into this; it just felt so good.

Watched some youtube videos of owltwelve in this post on psionicsonline. Really cool work on moving on from psi-wheel. On some other thread (this one), he suggested the practice of Samyama (stare at an object and when the eyes grow tired, close them and visualize the object as detailed and clear as possible). 

=P The first thing I tried it on, were a few trees ... just to discover that I had picked one of the most difficult object to visualize with my eyes closed. It's funny that staring at my own image in the mirror with a blank mind was exactly what I was doing back here: http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com/2007/06/first-near-obe.html.