Man, I was hoping that I could finally record the radiometer. I had just finished homework and the radiometer vanes were spinning quite fast (several hours under the lamp). Started setting up the tripod and mounted the camera on top of it.
When I was finished and ready to push the record button, I noticed that the radiometer was barely even rotating anymore - my intent had already done all the work ='(. So, I shook it, tried to dissolve the stasis field around it and held it even closer to the lamp for some time. Got it spinning a bit faster for a moment again.
Pushed the record button and no matter what I tried, the radiometer kept gaining speed. I can do it pretty easily with passive pk, but I'm having difficulties doing it on demand.
Tried it again, but since it was now spinning at higher speed with no previous stasis field constructs around, I had difficulties slowing it down. At least there's something now - there are a few slowing downs visible on the first recording. I'll make a better one for youtube submission.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Convincing physicists of psionics
Spent the weekend in Voore (another satellite workshop was held there).
At some moment, I had to call the guys coming from Tallinn to ask when they would arrive. While doing so, a buddy next to me wanted them to get some beer on their way there. I finished my talk and gave the phone to him just to be polite. Otherwise I strongly oppose alcohol, tobacco and drugs. He managed to say somehing like: "Hey, could you visit a store on the way and bring us ..." (mobile phone battery went dead) "... beer. Man, I hate your phone =D." I would like to note that my mobile phone battery is okay and stays full for more than a week. So, it was just excellent timing.
The only place with internet was the bar and so I waited for a moment when there were only 3 of us left (me and a couple of physics buddies slightly interested in the paranormal). One of them was even a moderator for Estonian paranormal forum para-web. I "made a commercial" about the psychokinesis activeboard forum. They were somewhat skeptical and wanted me to show them something. Since me showing someone psychokinesis is what I'm quite skeptical and nervous about, I just showed them my stasis attempt video on the propeller. I showed them more of psychokinesis videos (owltwelve and Treasure Hunter).
Eventually they were like "Why don't we then pick a random air fan video from youtube and start stopping it?" It made me a bit nervous and skeptical again, but it wouldn't hurt to try, I thought. They hit play and the first half of the video featured this fan standing still. Then the author showed that the plug of the fan was not connected. A lot of laughter =D. He finally plugged it in and it started spinning so fast that we decided to change our target - we decided to attempt stasis on the rotation of the fan head instead. When we started with it, the author started hitting and patting the fan so that the fan head rotation occasionally stopped indeed =). A lot of laughter again. In the end, the buddies were not convinced, but it hadn't proved them wrong either because of what I had explained to them earlier (that it's affecting probabilities of events and none of this can go against physics laws).
While we were discussing over the previous experiment that had somewhat strange results, another physicist stepped into the bar. He walked to our table, took the laptop and spontaneously started reading the comments of one of owltwelve's pk videos. A few minutes later, he interrupted our discussion to ask: "What's a psi-ball? I could only find info on how to make one from the internet." Okay, this made me a bit nervous, because I had to explain this psi / energy stuff from a physicist's point of view in such a way that none of his possible preconceptions would trigger (that's tough even with people who I've known for years). I really hope that I managed to do it well enough - he stayed and kept asking questions until we decided that we had to leave for sleep.
We were watching a film and I noticed that I was reading other people's thoughts. I didn't say it out loud though, however, another guy from the satellite team answered the question that was never asked. I also noticed that we often commented on film scenes that hadn't happened yet. During the film, I could feel the lags again just like I was causing them. Bruce Lee made a cool jump and kick that we could see in slow motion thanks to nicely timed pulsing lag =).
Edit: Even a few days afterwards, my own laptop behaved the same way - it lagged pretty often and I was able to influence the times when it lagged. Managed to dissolve the construct - don't want anything to happen to these laptops.
Something is still weird - either the flu or something else. Maybe it's due to pk practice, but I occasionally get high for seemingly no reason. I was solving quantum mechanics problems in one evening and started to feel really high about solving these exercises. Sometimes I suddenly get so high that I get really dizzy for a few seconds and then manage to kind of snap back. It would be easy to explain with fever, but I don't have it since the night that I used vibration healing.
Edit: It's not flu - it's probably some secretions caused by open psi channels.
Before going to sleep one night, I attempted pk on a lemonade bottle and I noticed something that I've seen before, but haven't paid much attention to. I saw a few slightly darker blurbs of psi run across the floor in one direction. They moved too fast to make out their shape or where they came from (seemed to have come through a wall). I also saw transparent psi emanating off my legs - it looked like small sun protuberances.
At some moment, I had to call the guys coming from Tallinn to ask when they would arrive. While doing so, a buddy next to me wanted them to get some beer on their way there. I finished my talk and gave the phone to him just to be polite. Otherwise I strongly oppose alcohol, tobacco and drugs. He managed to say somehing like: "Hey, could you visit a store on the way and bring us ..." (mobile phone battery went dead) "... beer. Man, I hate your phone =D." I would like to note that my mobile phone battery is okay and stays full for more than a week. So, it was just excellent timing.
The only place with internet was the bar and so I waited for a moment when there were only 3 of us left (me and a couple of physics buddies slightly interested in the paranormal). One of them was even a moderator for Estonian paranormal forum para-web. I "made a commercial" about the psychokinesis activeboard forum. They were somewhat skeptical and wanted me to show them something. Since me showing someone psychokinesis is what I'm quite skeptical and nervous about, I just showed them my stasis attempt video on the propeller. I showed them more of psychokinesis videos (owltwelve and Treasure Hunter).
Eventually they were like "Why don't we then pick a random air fan video from youtube and start stopping it?" It made me a bit nervous and skeptical again, but it wouldn't hurt to try, I thought. They hit play and the first half of the video featured this fan standing still. Then the author showed that the plug of the fan was not connected. A lot of laughter =D. He finally plugged it in and it started spinning so fast that we decided to change our target - we decided to attempt stasis on the rotation of the fan head instead. When we started with it, the author started hitting and patting the fan so that the fan head rotation occasionally stopped indeed =). A lot of laughter again. In the end, the buddies were not convinced, but it hadn't proved them wrong either because of what I had explained to them earlier (that it's affecting probabilities of events and none of this can go against physics laws).
While we were discussing over the previous experiment that had somewhat strange results, another physicist stepped into the bar. He walked to our table, took the laptop and spontaneously started reading the comments of one of owltwelve's pk videos. A few minutes later, he interrupted our discussion to ask: "What's a psi-ball? I could only find info on how to make one from the internet." Okay, this made me a bit nervous, because I had to explain this psi / energy stuff from a physicist's point of view in such a way that none of his possible preconceptions would trigger (that's tough even with people who I've known for years). I really hope that I managed to do it well enough - he stayed and kept asking questions until we decided that we had to leave for sleep.
We were watching a film and I noticed that I was reading other people's thoughts. I didn't say it out loud though, however, another guy from the satellite team answered the question that was never asked. I also noticed that we often commented on film scenes that hadn't happened yet. During the film, I could feel the lags again just like I was causing them. Bruce Lee made a cool jump and kick that we could see in slow motion thanks to nicely timed pulsing lag =).
Edit: Even a few days afterwards, my own laptop behaved the same way - it lagged pretty often and I was able to influence the times when it lagged. Managed to dissolve the construct - don't want anything to happen to these laptops.
Something is still weird - either the flu or something else. Maybe it's due to pk practice, but I occasionally get high for seemingly no reason. I was solving quantum mechanics problems in one evening and started to feel really high about solving these exercises. Sometimes I suddenly get so high that I get really dizzy for a few seconds and then manage to kind of snap back. It would be easy to explain with fever, but I don't have it since the night that I used vibration healing.
Edit: It's not flu - it's probably some secretions caused by open psi channels.
Before going to sleep one night, I attempted pk on a lemonade bottle and I noticed something that I've seen before, but haven't paid much attention to. I saw a few slightly darker blurbs of psi run across the floor in one direction. They moved too fast to make out their shape or where they came from (seemed to have come through a wall). I also saw transparent psi emanating off my legs - it looked like small sun protuberances.
 |
| A Sun protuberance |
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Vibration healing
Thanks to the forums, its posts and the community, I realized I had slipped from my goals again last night.
I built up a great intent and started healing. I don't know why, but at first I visualized a hand coming out from my biofield. Can't remember if it was from the head or from the chest that it first came from, but later it expanded so that it covered the whole body and more. I visualized the hand gradually shooting upwards, out through the atmosphere, out into the solar system, out into the Milky Way and farther. I thought: "What the heck am I doing?" and started to gradually contract it back the same way again. Anyway, it felt great.
After that I used the hand to make waves in my biofield (a completely new method again that I haven't tried before and don't know where it came from). I made small amplitude waves (perhaps around 1 cm) with about the frequency of 2 Hz. I started from the head and felt psi wobbling around inside and outside my head, washing psi channels and their openings clean. Also, while doing this, I could easily locate areas where the illness was being fought - dense areas that occasionally caused pain or discomfort when wobbled around.
When I found such an area, I visualized it evaporating into thin white steam of psi that rose out of the body. It was cool, how I instantly felt better when a dis-ease area had been evaporated - pain and discomfort disappeared immediately. I continued downwards with this wobbling and evaporating. Gradually I lost the feeling of wobbling and the visualization started to fade.
I continued cleaning my room by visualizing germs and evaporating them.
I built up a great intent and started healing. I don't know why, but at first I visualized a hand coming out from my biofield. Can't remember if it was from the head or from the chest that it first came from, but later it expanded so that it covered the whole body and more. I visualized the hand gradually shooting upwards, out through the atmosphere, out into the solar system, out into the Milky Way and farther. I thought: "What the heck am I doing?" and started to gradually contract it back the same way again. Anyway, it felt great.
After that I used the hand to make waves in my biofield (a completely new method again that I haven't tried before and don't know where it came from). I made small amplitude waves (perhaps around 1 cm) with about the frequency of 2 Hz. I started from the head and felt psi wobbling around inside and outside my head, washing psi channels and their openings clean. Also, while doing this, I could easily locate areas where the illness was being fought - dense areas that occasionally caused pain or discomfort when wobbled around.
When I found such an area, I visualized it evaporating into thin white steam of psi that rose out of the body. It was cool, how I instantly felt better when a dis-ease area had been evaporated - pain and discomfort disappeared immediately. I continued downwards with this wobbling and evaporating. Gradually I lost the feeling of wobbling and the visualization started to fade.
I continued cleaning my room by visualizing germs and evaporating them.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Merged dreams
I'm clearly remembering dreams better than last week. I used to think that I usually wasn't lucid when dreaming.
However, I remember seeing a dream in which there were 2 of us sitting in a van while we were being driven with it. There was no driver inside and we just drifted while we were talking about random stuff (didn't seem important enough to remember). The van stopped, a girl joined the dream, hopped in and took the driver's seat (it was his father's van). She had to drive back to where we had come from. The way we had drifted, seemed like it was a preparation for her dream. Time was running short and she started speeding through the town, while googling for maps at the same time. When we had arrived, I attempted to explain to her why this dream was important for her. Attempted, because she didn't seem to pay much attention and was too busy thinking why did she have to experience all this.
I can remember quite a few glitches in that dream, mostly details that she wouldn't have seen or paid attention to. It all somewhat reminded me of Inception - planting ideas in the dreams of others. It's interesting, how it seemed like the dreams of multiple persons merged together into one "reality". I guess that the way reality is created is similar to how it works in the dreams.
I guess I'm more lucid in my dreams than I had anticipated. I just couldn't remember many dreams with myself being lucid.
Edit: I forget dreams when I wake up in a rush (phone ringing, alarm clock or something in the dream that makes me realize something about my body and makes me want to quickly check on it). Then a part of me gets left behind (probably the one that holds the memory). Managed to dig out a part of the memory after such an incident that night. I think I know now what I'm up to in the dreams - I'm trying to teach what I've learned to my friends through merging dreams.
Haven't performed much pk lately - I'm afraid that heavy psi pressure that usually builds up in the head could result in injuries when body is busy conquering the flu.
However, I remember seeing a dream in which there were 2 of us sitting in a van while we were being driven with it. There was no driver inside and we just drifted while we were talking about random stuff (didn't seem important enough to remember). The van stopped, a girl joined the dream, hopped in and took the driver's seat (it was his father's van). She had to drive back to where we had come from. The way we had drifted, seemed like it was a preparation for her dream. Time was running short and she started speeding through the town, while googling for maps at the same time. When we had arrived, I attempted to explain to her why this dream was important for her. Attempted, because she didn't seem to pay much attention and was too busy thinking why did she have to experience all this.
I can remember quite a few glitches in that dream, mostly details that she wouldn't have seen or paid attention to. It all somewhat reminded me of Inception - planting ideas in the dreams of others. It's interesting, how it seemed like the dreams of multiple persons merged together into one "reality". I guess that the way reality is created is similar to how it works in the dreams.
I guess I'm more lucid in my dreams than I had anticipated. I just couldn't remember many dreams with myself being lucid.
Edit: I forget dreams when I wake up in a rush (phone ringing, alarm clock or something in the dream that makes me realize something about my body and makes me want to quickly check on it). Then a part of me gets left behind (probably the one that holds the memory). Managed to dig out a part of the memory after such an incident that night. I think I know now what I'm up to in the dreams - I'm trying to teach what I've learned to my friends through merging dreams.
Haven't performed much pk lately - I'm afraid that heavy psi pressure that usually builds up in the head could result in injuries when body is busy conquering the flu.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sick
I have been fancying the Anumimattvam siddhi (hunger, thirst, grief, sorrow, infatuation, delusion and confusion of the mind, old age and death do not harm the body). And in addition to those listed, the ability to reduce on sleeping time without an effect on the body or mind.
Yesterday I had a feeling that I shouldn't eat unless I really had to. Well, at the same time, I also felt hungry and so I ate (fatty meat food). Before going to sleep (4 hours after eating), I still hadn't digested it and at some point, I had to throw it all up. So, I ended up going to the bathroom about 3-4 times at night.
I really don't like throwing up because I nearly drowned because of this when I was little. So, I desperately tried to move all this stuff down with pk instead. I also tried a construct that would digest it for me, but it only made matters worse.
It's quite rare for me to fall sick (last time it happened about 2-3 years ago) and what is more, I couldn't find any symptoms for a typical flu (frequent heart rate increases, but no fever and no sweating). No, there is a fever of 37 degrees Celsius, but I started to feel it later. Anyway, I miss school today, but need to be okay on the test tomorrow.
Yup, it's a flu - when I couldn't feel the fever anymore and everything seemed to be okay, my nose started bleeding. This usually indicates that a flu is coming =). Well, at the moment, it seems that there's not much of it left and that symptoms have come too late. Also, usually when I'm ill or falling ill, I tend to see fighting (FPS and strategy games against the illness) in the dreams - this hasn't happened. I can remember the dreams of the past few days incredibly well. So, this one caught me totally off guard.
I had started to get a bit arrogant when seeing others ill - I thought it wouldn't happen to me. A good lesson as well as a good internal purification.
Yesterday I had a feeling that I shouldn't eat unless I really had to. Well, at the same time, I also felt hungry and so I ate (fatty meat food). Before going to sleep (4 hours after eating), I still hadn't digested it and at some point, I had to throw it all up. So, I ended up going to the bathroom about 3-4 times at night.
I really don't like throwing up because I nearly drowned because of this when I was little. So, I desperately tried to move all this stuff down with pk instead. I also tried a construct that would digest it for me, but it only made matters worse.
It's quite rare for me to fall sick (last time it happened about 2-3 years ago) and what is more, I couldn't find any symptoms for a typical flu (frequent heart rate increases, but no fever and no sweating). No, there is a fever of 37 degrees Celsius, but I started to feel it later. Anyway, I miss school today, but need to be okay on the test tomorrow.
Yup, it's a flu - when I couldn't feel the fever anymore and everything seemed to be okay, my nose started bleeding. This usually indicates that a flu is coming =). Well, at the moment, it seems that there's not much of it left and that symptoms have come too late. Also, usually when I'm ill or falling ill, I tend to see fighting (FPS and strategy games against the illness) in the dreams - this hasn't happened. I can remember the dreams of the past few days incredibly well. So, this one caught me totally off guard.
I had started to get a bit arrogant when seeing others ill - I thought it wouldn't happen to me. A good lesson as well as a good internal purification.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Another documentary
Couldn't sleep with the balcony door open, because it always got cold when I fell asleep. I was able to keep myself warm when I was awake, but the construct wasn't strong enough to keep working when it wasn't being focused on.
We watched this documentary today: http://psychedelicadventure.blogspot.com/2010/01/spirit-space-journey-into-your.html. I really liked some parts of it (past lives and OBE) and the music just got me hooked. So, I got a lot of cold shivers (happens all the time, when I see / experience something that I really like). However, occasionally the opposite happened - I felt heating up from the inside. There were also a few precognition / manifestation experiences again that happened while we were watching the film.
While looking through the slides of analog electronics, I heard a weird sound from behind - it was as if my bed had slid for about 1 cm in some direction. Not sure, but perhaps it could also have come from a neighbor apartment.
Interesting, today I saw that the radiometer had stopped again at some moment. Then, an hour later, it was spinning faster than I can remember it spinning before.
Meditated on the heart chakra again and I think I got these problems fixed .. at least for some time. Now it's throat, which has been acting strange lately.
Typhoon Megi has fully disappeared. Some days ago I noticed something interesting on the category map - it looked like the wind speed of the typhoon had started pulsing. Notice how it changed category 3 -> category 2 -> cat 3 -> cat 2 -> cat 3 -> cat 2.
We watched this documentary today: http://psychedelicadventure.blogspot.com/2010/01/spirit-space-journey-into-your.html. I really liked some parts of it (past lives and OBE) and the music just got me hooked. So, I got a lot of cold shivers (happens all the time, when I see / experience something that I really like). However, occasionally the opposite happened - I felt heating up from the inside. There were also a few precognition / manifestation experiences again that happened while we were watching the film.
While looking through the slides of analog electronics, I heard a weird sound from behind - it was as if my bed had slid for about 1 cm in some direction. Not sure, but perhaps it could also have come from a neighbor apartment.
Interesting, today I saw that the radiometer had stopped again at some moment. Then, an hour later, it was spinning faster than I can remember it spinning before.
Meditated on the heart chakra again and I think I got these problems fixed .. at least for some time. Now it's throat, which has been acting strange lately.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Meditation haze
Attempted push / pull on that piece of wood again yesterday. Couldn't do much, because I was rather nervous about the fact that a fellow physicist asked the URL of this blog.
Meditated before going to sleep again. I started feeling dense psi around me and when I opened my eyes, I saw and felt a big construct (like a haze that slightly refracts light) in front of me dissolving. Probably I've seen this before, but haven't paid much attention to it.
Father found a nice documentary on psi fields and healing: http://psychedelicadventure.blogspot.com/2009/12/living-matrix-science-of-healing-movie.html. The page doesn't seem very legal though. Anyway, the documentary answered to quite a lot of questions that had popped up while practicing pk. And it managed to do so almost scientifically (contains several interesting experiments).
While watching the movie, a few snapping sounds occurred and the video lagged at some points (although the whole video had been buffered). It was interesting that I could feel a lag coming and I could feel when exactly would it happen. However, it was difficult to keep these lags from happening. Somewhere at the end of the movie, I noticed that the living room lamp had started flickering. The flickering had almost the same frequency as those lagpoints in the video.
I had left my balcony door open and when I came to my room, I decided to meditate in the cold drafts on the floor. I sat down in a cross-legged pose, closed my eyes and a couple of seconds later I felt myself in a pk mind-state that was triggered by the cold. There was pressure on my 3rd eye area (psi flowed through it). Although I thought my 3rd eye was expanded all over the forehead, I could only feel pressure on the left half of the forehead. The right hemisphere of my brain felt inactive while I was breathing through the left nostril.
Meditated before going to sleep again. I started feeling dense psi around me and when I opened my eyes, I saw and felt a big construct (like a haze that slightly refracts light) in front of me dissolving. Probably I've seen this before, but haven't paid much attention to it.
Father found a nice documentary on psi fields and healing: http://psychedelicadventure.blogspot.com/2009/12/living-matrix-science-of-healing-movie.html. The page doesn't seem very legal though. Anyway, the documentary answered to quite a lot of questions that had popped up while practicing pk. And it managed to do so almost scientifically (contains several interesting experiments).
While watching the movie, a few snapping sounds occurred and the video lagged at some points (although the whole video had been buffered). It was interesting that I could feel a lag coming and I could feel when exactly would it happen. However, it was difficult to keep these lags from happening. Somewhere at the end of the movie, I noticed that the living room lamp had started flickering. The flickering had almost the same frequency as those lagpoints in the video.
I had left my balcony door open and when I came to my room, I decided to meditate in the cold drafts on the floor. I sat down in a cross-legged pose, closed my eyes and a couple of seconds later I felt myself in a pk mind-state that was triggered by the cold. There was pressure on my 3rd eye area (psi flowed through it). Although I thought my 3rd eye was expanded all over the forehead, I could only feel pressure on the left half of the forehead. The right hemisphere of my brain felt inactive while I was breathing through the left nostril.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Dangerous games
Had a strange dream today morning somewhere around 3 AM. I was at the summerhouse, walking on the road. There were other people having other dreams and we were all communicating (probably via something telepathy-like). We had "come together" to experiment with awakening each others' pk abilities. I can't remember what I tried and what some of the others tried, but I remember feeling that at least some of us were successful. Then someone pinched the tail bone where the power of Kundalini should be locked. It was so painful that I cried "Aiaaa" (which should be "Oouch" in English) and left the dream, being unable to sleep for a couple of hours.
The feeling of the bone being squeezed hard with psi and the pain were still fresh a few moments after waking up. At first I somewhat panicked, hoping that it didn't awaken it, but managed to calm myself down and change the way I was thinking about it. Some of that slow-moving warm and dense psi that came out, got distributed around the body. I have experienced this before and fortunately nothing more happened - I'm worried about how awakening it might affect school.
Thought of attempting to stop the typhoon again yesterday night, but I was too tired and fell asleep on each attempt. Less than enough hours of sleeptime again..
When I arrived at the gym, I was slightly worried about my account - I paid the bill only a day before the deadline. I didn't know if it had already been transferred or not. On the first try with this thought in my mind, my account card was rejected. I then cleared my mind and it worked right away.
Had a funny geisting experience at the gym today. After taking a shower, I stepped into the sauna. Everyone else had gone swimming, so I was alone in there. A minute or two later, one shower started spraying water turning on and off at a regular interval. I figured I should go and turn it off and opened the sauna door. At the same time I opened the door, it stopped.
Hmm, while sitting at the laptop, I thought I should try stasis on the radiometer again. That thought stopped it from spinning before I even looked at it. Well, there were a few simplifying factors - I had just previously cleaned its glass and it probably hadn't gained its full speed yet. It would have gained full with a couple of seconds if there weren't a stasis shield construct from previous similar thoughts already around it =P.
The feeling of the bone being squeezed hard with psi and the pain were still fresh a few moments after waking up. At first I somewhat panicked, hoping that it didn't awaken it, but managed to calm myself down and change the way I was thinking about it. Some of that slow-moving warm and dense psi that came out, got distributed around the body. I have experienced this before and fortunately nothing more happened - I'm worried about how awakening it might affect school.
Thought of attempting to stop the typhoon again yesterday night, but I was too tired and fell asleep on each attempt. Less than enough hours of sleeptime again..
When I arrived at the gym, I was slightly worried about my account - I paid the bill only a day before the deadline. I didn't know if it had already been transferred or not. On the first try with this thought in my mind, my account card was rejected. I then cleared my mind and it worked right away.
Had a funny geisting experience at the gym today. After taking a shower, I stepped into the sauna. Everyone else had gone swimming, so I was alone in there. A minute or two later, one shower started spraying water turning on and off at a regular interval. I figured I should go and turn it off and opened the sauna door. At the same time I opened the door, it stopped.
Hmm, while sitting at the laptop, I thought I should try stasis on the radiometer again. That thought stopped it from spinning before I even looked at it. Well, there were a few simplifying factors - I had just previously cleaned its glass and it probably hadn't gained its full speed yet. It would have gained full with a couple of seconds if there weren't a stasis shield construct from previous similar thoughts already around it =P.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Psi buzzing
Meditated before going to sleep yesterday. I quickly got rid of any headaches and suddenly started feeling psi buzzing around in the whole body, coming in and going out of it as well. For some moments, I enjoyed it and then went to bed.
I slept stretched on my back without the pillow, which should automatically trigger meditation for me. So, I would occasionally wake up from a dream just because a thoughtless meditation mind-set kicks in. That's because I used to think that one can't sleep during meditation or vice versa.
I think this was the cause why I'm even more tired today than I was yesterday. However, the feeling of calmness and lightness that I had today - it was worth it. There was something else that was also different - I could feel this cold fluid filling my whole upper body. I don't know what it is - less psi than I'm used to?
Ah, there's something I have been planning to write about for quite some time already. I'm usually afraid of keeping the balcony door open for too long, as there are a lot of plants in my room. What's interesting though, they are still blooming although there hasn't been any sunlight and I tend to forget to water them regularly lately. Perhaps a better psi circulation in the room works good for the flowers as well.
While listening to Akeboshi songs on youtube or watching a video clip about indigo childs that sister wanted to show us, the videos occasionally lagged today - network traffic is more intense for some reason. I noticed that before almost all of those laggy moments, there was a change in my thoughts or feelings. I would think about network connection or lagging and it would immediately happen. When I dissolved that doubty construct, the connection was fine again.
Had difficulties meditating on the typhoon. Whenever I started feeling OBE-ing into the cloud, my body would start itching and twitching. It probably wanted me to do some physical exercises for change - haven't been to the gym for a while again. However, sometimes relaxing works better than concentrating hard - hopefully it did at least something.
As much as I managed to concentrate on the cloud, I attempted to pull it wider, thus distributing the wind on a larger area and helping it dissolve faster. I started thinking that shrinking the cloud center and attempting to cut its tail could have actually increased its rotation speed and thus category as well.
I slept stretched on my back without the pillow, which should automatically trigger meditation for me. So, I would occasionally wake up from a dream just because a thoughtless meditation mind-set kicks in. That's because I used to think that one can't sleep during meditation or vice versa.
I think this was the cause why I'm even more tired today than I was yesterday. However, the feeling of calmness and lightness that I had today - it was worth it. There was something else that was also different - I could feel this cold fluid filling my whole upper body. I don't know what it is - less psi than I'm used to?
Ah, there's something I have been planning to write about for quite some time already. I'm usually afraid of keeping the balcony door open for too long, as there are a lot of plants in my room. What's interesting though, they are still blooming although there hasn't been any sunlight and I tend to forget to water them regularly lately. Perhaps a better psi circulation in the room works good for the flowers as well.
While listening to Akeboshi songs on youtube or watching a video clip about indigo childs that sister wanted to show us, the videos occasionally lagged today - network traffic is more intense for some reason. I noticed that before almost all of those laggy moments, there was a change in my thoughts or feelings. I would think about network connection or lagging and it would immediately happen. When I dissolved that doubty construct, the connection was fine again.
Had difficulties meditating on the typhoon. Whenever I started feeling OBE-ing into the cloud, my body would start itching and twitching. It probably wanted me to do some physical exercises for change - haven't been to the gym for a while again. However, sometimes relaxing works better than concentrating hard - hopefully it did at least something.
As much as I managed to concentrate on the cloud, I attempted to pull it wider, thus distributing the wind on a larger area and helping it dissolve faster. I started thinking that shrinking the cloud center and attempting to cut its tail could have actually increased its rotation speed and thus category as well.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Lucky B
Tried to do the same with the typhoon yesterday night. I visualized it and attempted to get a good feeling of it. It took me a bit more time to get it and when I did, the feeling wasn't that strong. However, when I pushed / intensified the intent, it was at least as strong as the day before. I felt the strong intent really push my endurance on psi pressure.
Had short peaks of headache today morning, but nothing as bad as yesterday. Having watched an interview with Oscar Hsu yesterday (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0KdLtsrT7g), I could see the difference of how I have been breathing. During a lecture, I was focusing on my spine and felt how I was using the 2 channels in front of the spine most of the time. Remembered that when I concentrated on the spine channel a couple of weeks ago, I started breathing through some deeper path. Now it seemed as if I were breathing only a little bit of air deep into the lungs and psi into the spinal channel. It felt a lot more healthy, but I couldn't maintain it for very long.
I also noticed that the feeling of something inside the body getting warmer can be interpreted as a cold fluid leaking out of organs. It feels similar.
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Today's exam was weird. I couldn't decide whether I should sit the geophysics exam or not - I had only read half of the material and just barely scratched the surface with googling after all. Yesterday evening I decided I would take it, then decided that I wouldn't and then a buddy who had read it all through more than once convinced me to take it (because he also couldn't decide whether he should take it or not). In school I changed my mind again, but then another buddy came and influenced me so that I would still take it XD.
So, I walked into the class, looking at what that other buddy would decide to do. While standing there, the professor put the test into my hands. Oh, well, I thought and sat down to look at all the questions I didn't know how to answer. Started off with the first one and I just squeezed something out - didn't seem correct, but it was everything that I could write about it. I continued to do the same for other questions. As a coincidence, all of the questions were about something that I had read or at least googled beforehand. One of the questions was a word I had heard before back in high school, but didn't remember anything about it - just wrote something like "I don't have a clue" there. Yet another buddy popped up, thinking it was just a regular lecture and asked what it was all about. He was also like "Oh, well" and took the exam =D.
The buddy who had read it all handed his test and was asked questions I couldn't even understand. I started worrying about it slightly, but decided to go with the flow, since I was already there anyway. He got a B (minor mistakes). The next buddy (there were only 3 of us, who dared to take the exam this early) handed his paper and was also asked quite heavy questions. Also got a B (minor mistakes).
So, it was my turn. While the professor was reading, I tried to keep my mind clear to avoid revealing that I had only read half of the text. He asked a few things about what I had written there and I was somehow able to either correct myself or prove my answers correct. About that "don't have a clue" question, he found that he had accidentally skipped it while checking the exam paper of the previous student. So, he let me off as if there was no such question ("convenient coincidence again," I thought). He wanted to ask me something, but then I asked him a question, he started talking about it and totally forgot what he was about to ask. Before giving me a B, he asked one last question (it took him about a minute to make it up). As funny coincidence as it was, the question was on the part that he never told about in the lectures and it was never supposed to come into the exam, but I had accidentally read it through as a part of half the book XD. I got a B out of luck, knowing a _lot_ less than the guy who first got a B (he had read it through once and then googled extra on the subjects from the lectures).
Had short peaks of headache today morning, but nothing as bad as yesterday. Having watched an interview with Oscar Hsu yesterday (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0KdLtsrT7g), I could see the difference of how I have been breathing. During a lecture, I was focusing on my spine and felt how I was using the 2 channels in front of the spine most of the time. Remembered that when I concentrated on the spine channel a couple of weeks ago, I started breathing through some deeper path. Now it seemed as if I were breathing only a little bit of air deep into the lungs and psi into the spinal channel. It felt a lot more healthy, but I couldn't maintain it for very long.
I also noticed that the feeling of something inside the body getting warmer can be interpreted as a cold fluid leaking out of organs. It feels similar.
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Today's exam was weird. I couldn't decide whether I should sit the geophysics exam or not - I had only read half of the material and just barely scratched the surface with googling after all. Yesterday evening I decided I would take it, then decided that I wouldn't and then a buddy who had read it all through more than once convinced me to take it (because he also couldn't decide whether he should take it or not). In school I changed my mind again, but then another buddy came and influenced me so that I would still take it XD.
So, I walked into the class, looking at what that other buddy would decide to do. While standing there, the professor put the test into my hands. Oh, well, I thought and sat down to look at all the questions I didn't know how to answer. Started off with the first one and I just squeezed something out - didn't seem correct, but it was everything that I could write about it. I continued to do the same for other questions. As a coincidence, all of the questions were about something that I had read or at least googled beforehand. One of the questions was a word I had heard before back in high school, but didn't remember anything about it - just wrote something like "I don't have a clue" there. Yet another buddy popped up, thinking it was just a regular lecture and asked what it was all about. He was also like "Oh, well" and took the exam =D.
The buddy who had read it all handed his test and was asked questions I couldn't even understand. I started worrying about it slightly, but decided to go with the flow, since I was already there anyway. He got a B (minor mistakes). The next buddy (there were only 3 of us, who dared to take the exam this early) handed his paper and was also asked quite heavy questions. Also got a B (minor mistakes).
So, it was my turn. While the professor was reading, I tried to keep my mind clear to avoid revealing that I had only read half of the text. He asked a few things about what I had written there and I was somehow able to either correct myself or prove my answers correct. About that "don't have a clue" question, he found that he had accidentally skipped it while checking the exam paper of the previous student. So, he let me off as if there was no such question ("convenient coincidence again," I thought). He wanted to ask me something, but then I asked him a question, he started talking about it and totally forgot what he was about to ask. Before giving me a B, he asked one last question (it took him about a minute to make it up). As funny coincidence as it was, the question was on the part that he never told about in the lectures and it was never supposed to come into the exam, but I had accidentally read it through as a part of half the book XD. I got a B out of luck, knowing a _lot_ less than the guy who first got a B (he had read it through once and then googled extra on the subjects from the lectures).
Monday, October 18, 2010
Pk hangover
Had a headache today, which I think is related to pk practice. I was also tired like an usual pk hangover. Haven't had those for quite some time, because I have taken it easy for most of the time. My whole brain was aching and more intense psi redirection attempts increased the pain as well as made me feel slightly sick.
The first 4-hour lecture didn't happen, because the lecturer thought it started in November. So, I had some time to deal with geophysics and reading psionics forums. In the end I shut my eyes and meditated on clearing up the mess in my head. Simply concentrating on the whole head fixed the pain. I continued yesterday's exercise of reversed psi fountain for a short while.
After that I chose to meditate on my throat chakra. It was fine until I suddenly got a sharp strike of pain through my right shoulder - it felt like a needle had been pushed about 4 cm into it. I visualized pulling it out and dissolving it.
Ouch, my left thumb suddenly started to hurt sharply with seemingly no reason. Lasted for about 0.5 min.
Man, I guess I need to get used to using larger amounts of psi. Rushing in with a big hurray only gets one hurt. Especially, when there's something fishy about some particular chakra (often having troubles with Anahata recently).
Actually, I remember having sudden pain strikes in my chest years ago. When it happened, I had to be ready for either a heavy healing session or a few minutes almost without breathing, as every breath was quite painful. This could also indicate heart chakra problems, I guess.
The first 4-hour lecture didn't happen, because the lecturer thought it started in November. So, I had some time to deal with geophysics and reading psionics forums. In the end I shut my eyes and meditated on clearing up the mess in my head. Simply concentrating on the whole head fixed the pain. I continued yesterday's exercise of reversed psi fountain for a short while.
After that I chose to meditate on my throat chakra. It was fine until I suddenly got a sharp strike of pain through my right shoulder - it felt like a needle had been pushed about 4 cm into it. I visualized pulling it out and dissolving it.
Ouch, my left thumb suddenly started to hurt sharply with seemingly no reason. Lasted for about 0.5 min.
Man, I guess I need to get used to using larger amounts of psi. Rushing in with a big hurray only gets one hurt. Especially, when there's something fishy about some particular chakra (often having troubles with Anahata recently).
Actually, I remember having sudden pain strikes in my chest years ago. When it happened, I had to be ready for either a heavy healing session or a few minutes almost without breathing, as every breath was quite painful. This could also indicate heart chakra problems, I guess.
Typhoon Megi
Became somewhat nervous about the exam in geophysics yesterday, because I only have 1 day left for reading. Although it was late already, I still had to meditate a little. I quickly convinced myself that I could do it without even reading the text.
Then I attempted the psi flow exercise in reverse (from the top of the head down towards the ground) and got some muscle twitching in weird places. The previous construct was still working and in the way for the new one. I decided not to dissolve the old one and leave it for further practicing on some other day. I could get it flowing in reverse to some extent, but when I stopped focusing on it, the flow changed its direction and psi started upward motion again.
Before going to sleep, I took a quick attempt on typhoon Megi. The first impression was that it was too close already, but then I realized again that we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I visualized it from the memory of a few satellite images. I could see it moving and rotating slowly towards the islands. I moved closer so that I could also see the water underneath. Feeling like I was connected enough, I visualized cutting the tail of swirling wind below the cloud (don't know how it's called). Then I visualized the feeling of applying stasis field on the cloud, while at the same time trying to dampen water movement. I occasionally took a break and then did the same again.
At some moment, I started to feel like it was live. I could see everything happening while I was stopping it. Some time later, when I was convinced that the typhoon would dissolve, I stepped out of this state. As I stepped out, I noticed that I could feel the typhoon in my hands and partly in other parts of the body as well. Then, suddenly I felt the typhoon kind of like exploding or suddenly expanding (somewhat unexplainable feeling) in my hands and body. I went back to the visualization and visualized it dissolve one more time.
Compared to the attempt on Igor, this experience was way more powerful and lifelike. Already the intent of stopping it grew so intense that I could feel the psi pressure of the construct that was forming. The experience of feeling connection with the object as if it were inside of my body - this was something new to me. Also, the amount of psi that I was using for this attempt was more than I have ever used for pk before.
I was somewhat disappointed to see that it was till category 5 in the morning, but then I realized that the last measurements on the page were from yesterday before I even started practicing. Hopefully it didn't cause any doubty constructs. Anyway, according to the next measurements, the typhoon was already way into the island and dropped to category 4.
Then I attempted the psi flow exercise in reverse (from the top of the head down towards the ground) and got some muscle twitching in weird places. The previous construct was still working and in the way for the new one. I decided not to dissolve the old one and leave it for further practicing on some other day. I could get it flowing in reverse to some extent, but when I stopped focusing on it, the flow changed its direction and psi started upward motion again.
Before going to sleep, I took a quick attempt on typhoon Megi. The first impression was that it was too close already, but then I realized again that we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I visualized it from the memory of a few satellite images. I could see it moving and rotating slowly towards the islands. I moved closer so that I could also see the water underneath. Feeling like I was connected enough, I visualized cutting the tail of swirling wind below the cloud (don't know how it's called). Then I visualized the feeling of applying stasis field on the cloud, while at the same time trying to dampen water movement. I occasionally took a break and then did the same again.
At some moment, I started to feel like it was live. I could see everything happening while I was stopping it. Some time later, when I was convinced that the typhoon would dissolve, I stepped out of this state. As I stepped out, I noticed that I could feel the typhoon in my hands and partly in other parts of the body as well. Then, suddenly I felt the typhoon kind of like exploding or suddenly expanding (somewhat unexplainable feeling) in my hands and body. I went back to the visualization and visualized it dissolve one more time.
Compared to the attempt on Igor, this experience was way more powerful and lifelike. Already the intent of stopping it grew so intense that I could feel the psi pressure of the construct that was forming. The experience of feeling connection with the object as if it were inside of my body - this was something new to me. Also, the amount of psi that I was using for this attempt was more than I have ever used for pk before.
I was somewhat disappointed to see that it was till category 5 in the morning, but then I realized that the last measurements on the page were from yesterday before I even started practicing. Hopefully it didn't cause any doubty constructs. Anyway, according to the next measurements, the typhoon was already way into the island and dropped to category 4.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Little sleep
Woke up early - 8.30 AM. I couldn't remember disabling the alarm, which should've rung at 6.30 AM - so, I must have been in quite a deep sleep then. I'm thinking that perhaps yesterday's grounding and centering bettered psi circulation in my body and I can get away with less sleep. It seems like the 6.5 hours I slept today morning were not enough though (feeling slightly more sleepy than yesterday).
It's interesting that in dreams I'm challenged with habits that I have chosen to avoid. I could remember one such dream as I woke up from it. I find it cool just how well one can control themselves when not even aware of dreaming. This means that I can do the same easily when awake.
Relieved the tension that had built up around the heart chakra again. When I did, I started feeling weird. It feels similar to high blood pressure in the head, but it isn't - I did some push-ups and felt blood rushing into the head and the change in blood pressure felt okay. I feel like my head were in a really dense cloud of psi so that sound is muffled and I can occasionally feel heavy psi waves pushing / supporting me from random directions. This grounding did something, but I can't understand what exactly.
One explanation could be that these grounding constructs are working since yesterday and that I'm finally starting to reach my limit with this exercise.
Yesterday I had a flashback of how I might feel myself in the future provided that I continue practicing pk. I was content with how I had spent my time, but even my own family could no longer understand me. I felt so far away from them in the flashback.
Even studying is pk to some extent. I have to read a lot of text about geophysics for the upcoming exam. Occasionally I fall into a pk mind-state and start to feel the text and see images of what different sentences mean (images of places where the described phenomena take place). It hasn't happened very often, but with it, I was able to read and think through a couple of pages per minute. However, I'm starting to get tired and there is still half a book left.
It's interesting that in dreams I'm challenged with habits that I have chosen to avoid. I could remember one such dream as I woke up from it. I find it cool just how well one can control themselves when not even aware of dreaming. This means that I can do the same easily when awake.
Relieved the tension that had built up around the heart chakra again. When I did, I started feeling weird. It feels similar to high blood pressure in the head, but it isn't - I did some push-ups and felt blood rushing into the head and the change in blood pressure felt okay. I feel like my head were in a really dense cloud of psi so that sound is muffled and I can occasionally feel heavy psi waves pushing / supporting me from random directions. This grounding did something, but I can't understand what exactly.
One explanation could be that these grounding constructs are working since yesterday and that I'm finally starting to reach my limit with this exercise.
Yesterday I had a flashback of how I might feel myself in the future provided that I continue practicing pk. I was content with how I had spent my time, but even my own family could no longer understand me. I felt so far away from them in the flashback.
Even studying is pk to some extent. I have to read a lot of text about geophysics for the upcoming exam. Occasionally I fall into a pk mind-state and start to feel the text and see images of what different sentences mean (images of places where the described phenomena take place). It hasn't happened very often, but with it, I was able to read and think through a couple of pages per minute. However, I'm starting to get tired and there is still half a book left.
Grounding and centering
Before going to sleep yesterday, I meditated for about 45 minutes on feeding the crown chakra with psi again. In order to post it on the forum, I made a quick gimp-up:
This method is based on what I read from here: http://www.witchscauldron.net/cauldron/center.htm and from psi-pog. It reminds me of the magnetic field of a dipole. Here are the steps:
When I did this yesterday, I tried to direct psi through the spinal cord again (as I used to a couple of years ago) and there was an immediate improvement in psi intensity and speed. While going up in scales, I could no longer spot any limits - there were no blockages, no dizziness, no pain, nothing. Cool, 2 years ago I always kept hitting a point where I got a headache for a week. Also, sometimes I had to stop, because my head got so dizzy that I started feeling ill.
This would explain why I used to have this dizziness for the last couple of months - slightly more regular pk practice resulted in more psi being moved through my head and channels were becoming wider.
After practicing this through the top of my head, I did the same for the 3rd eye, the spot that is right behind it in the upper-neck (don't know where this came from, but I felt it was important enough) and hands.
When going to bed, I felt my hands twitching - I haven't used hands for moving psi for years. So, I did like explained here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENeQ_2A41Us. I increased intensity and visualized channels getting wider until I started feeling my hands warming up from cold (filling up with psi).
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| An exercise derived from grounding and centering |
- Find a comfortable position and pose for meditation and relax.
- Draw psi from the Earth below you. Direct it through your spinal cord up to the top of the head and up.
- Increase intensity, speed and width of the psi pillar. Stop increasing it when you get the feeling of throwing up. When you experience pain (or feel psi with high pressure curling around some point) somewhere in your body, visualize opening the hatches that block your psi channels (and keep them open).
- Visualize psi from the pillar fall back down outside you and enter again, forming something similar to positive feedback.
- Increase further in intensity, speed and width for as long as you feel comfortable.
When I did this yesterday, I tried to direct psi through the spinal cord again (as I used to a couple of years ago) and there was an immediate improvement in psi intensity and speed. While going up in scales, I could no longer spot any limits - there were no blockages, no dizziness, no pain, nothing. Cool, 2 years ago I always kept hitting a point where I got a headache for a week. Also, sometimes I had to stop, because my head got so dizzy that I started feeling ill.
This would explain why I used to have this dizziness for the last couple of months - slightly more regular pk practice resulted in more psi being moved through my head and channels were becoming wider.
After practicing this through the top of my head, I did the same for the 3rd eye, the spot that is right behind it in the upper-neck (don't know where this came from, but I felt it was important enough) and hands.
When going to bed, I felt my hands twitching - I haven't used hands for moving psi for years. So, I did like explained here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENeQ_2A41Us. I increased intensity and visualized channels getting wider until I started feeling my hands warming up from cold (filling up with psi).
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Autoshielding 2
While eating in the morning, some of it got stuck in the throat when I was thinking about other stuff. I tried to resolve it in a clean way, but I couldn't do it quickly enough and had to give up to reflexes. All the pressure got loose from my mouth and I could see the whole kitchen being sprayed even though I tried to stop it with my hand. I could see it spray everywhere in the air, but when I was about to clean it up, I couldn't see any spots except for the few drops from my hand. Might sound somewhat disgusting, but it just seemed quite strange to me that all of the thousands of kefir drops failed to hit anything (even the floor).
Attempted to push that piece of wood over again. Also took an attempt on my room door. I'm trying a new method for gaining the feeling of an object now. When looking at the object, I visualize the feeling of my consciousness spreading all over the object (like creating a construct of the object over the object itself). Before I usually jumped straight into visualizing the feeling of the object moving and sometimes I occasionally hit the feeling of the whole object for a moment, sometimes not.
Attempted to push that piece of wood over again. Also took an attempt on my room door. I'm trying a new method for gaining the feeling of an object now. When looking at the object, I visualize the feeling of my consciousness spreading all over the object (like creating a construct of the object over the object itself). Before I usually jumped straight into visualizing the feeling of the object moving and sometimes I occasionally hit the feeling of the whole object for a moment, sometimes not.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Nothing much
Yesterday, when I was performing the slightly stressful astrophysics presentation to professionals, I occasionally noticed lamps flickering. Presentation electronics was working fine.
I have been quite tired lately, possibly affected by the slush storm that arrived. Slept for a couple of hours.
We bought a lot of cheap DVD's from the department store this week. Today evening we watched one of them - the one that stood out for me the most ("Shadowless Sword"). It was a totally different experience than with any previous chinese or japanese films I have watched before practicing pk this regularly - I saw hints of psionics everywhere. Also the way they felt their swords - I knew I would spot that in the film after reading owltwelve's post.
Attempted to tip a piece of wood over on the table. I could feel and see it move a little occasionally, but couldn't tip it over on the first try. As I was sitting close to it, hands laying on my knees, I felt my hands running out of psi and getting colder as all the psi was flowing into my head and out into the piece of wood. I sometimes cleared any possible doubt constructs and continued. I guess I did this for about 30 to 40 minutes and felt in a good pk mind-state afterwards.
I have been quite tired lately, possibly affected by the slush storm that arrived. Slept for a couple of hours.
We bought a lot of cheap DVD's from the department store this week. Today evening we watched one of them - the one that stood out for me the most ("Shadowless Sword"). It was a totally different experience than with any previous chinese or japanese films I have watched before practicing pk this regularly - I saw hints of psionics everywhere. Also the way they felt their swords - I knew I would spot that in the film after reading owltwelve's post.
Attempted to tip a piece of wood over on the table. I could feel and see it move a little occasionally, but couldn't tip it over on the first try. As I was sitting close to it, hands laying on my knees, I felt my hands running out of psi and getting colder as all the psi was flowing into my head and out into the piece of wood. I sometimes cleared any possible doubt constructs and continued. I guess I did this for about 30 to 40 minutes and felt in a good pk mind-state afterwards.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
That's not who I am
All other sources for headaches except for the one in the right hemisphere are gone. The latter one has certainly gotten better, but hasn't completely dissolved yet.
Back when I started building the superhero construct to boost my self-confidence and belief in psionics, one of the thoughts I imprinted on the superhero was that he had no ego. With associating the construct with myself, I must have blinded myself from my own ego.
I was surprised today that I felt somewhat injured and disappointed, when a great and known professor mocked people playing with "energy". Also, I had lost the sense of individualism in psionics practices when I posted something on the psychokinesis forum. And today, when talking with my sister, I felt prejudice poisoning my thoughts.
It has been a while since the last time I was so easily influenced by these minor things. I used to be a lot more aware of myself. I have either become soft due to arrogance in psionics practices or because I have been blinded from my ego. Either way, I have to change.
Back when I started building the superhero construct to boost my self-confidence and belief in psionics, one of the thoughts I imprinted on the superhero was that he had no ego. With associating the construct with myself, I must have blinded myself from my own ego.
I was surprised today that I felt somewhat injured and disappointed, when a great and known professor mocked people playing with "energy". Also, I had lost the sense of individualism in psionics practices when I posted something on the psychokinesis forum. And today, when talking with my sister, I felt prejudice poisoning my thoughts.
It has been a while since the last time I was so easily influenced by these minor things. I used to be a lot more aware of myself. I have either become soft due to arrogance in psionics practices or because I have been blinded from my ego. Either way, I have to change.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Healing cold
Less than 6 hours of sleeptime again.
Anyway, I saw a pk dream again. When I woke up, I couldn't remember it again, but there was something that I remember. I remember lots of numbers and as I went back to bed again later, I could remember more of it in the half-dream state. I had divided my psi body or psi field into sections and classified them into numbers. Somehow it all served the purpose of boosting my progress in pk.
Actually, a few days ago I also remembered what I had seen in the previous pk dream - I had been sliding a tiny object smoothly in a totally controlled way. It was an object on my table that I can't recognize. At some moment I started thinking if there really were no doubt constructs around and when I did, the movement stopped. I think that this could've been a practice session for the success with the radiometer yesterday evening.
I'm getting the impression that I can't remember my dreams simply because my mind doesn't accept it - I'm simply unable to perceive what I experience in the dreams. I'm thinking this because I could usually remember simpler and more familiar dreams. Only recently have I had more trouble remembering my dreams.
I guess my head has caught some cold with today's heavy wind (head hurts occasionally). Slept some extra to those lousy 5.5 hours after arriving at home. Before falling asleep, I tried to heal myself by visualizing damaged areas vibrating and becoming green.
Went a bit more serious about healing before going to sleep. I defined red color as damaged areas and green as areas where active healing would be taking place. After that I visualized looking at my head from several angles and turned every red spot into green. While processing a red spot, I continued the visualization of healing intent on all the spots I had already marked green. In the end, there were tens of such areas that I was concentrating on in parallel. Every spot that I had turned green, I felt heating up from cold until they got warm.
There was an area, in which somewhat more serious damage had taken place. It was somewhere in the center of my right hemisphere. When I concentrated on the spot, my head started to hurt and my right ear started twitching. I remembered that the ear was occasionally twitching and it had lasted for about a week already. Now this felt serious.
About 30 minutes later, there were no red spots left. A few really tiny ones still occasionally popped up, but I got an overall feeling that I'll be alright. All other spots except for the biggest troublemaker had warmed up.
Anyway, I saw a pk dream again. When I woke up, I couldn't remember it again, but there was something that I remember. I remember lots of numbers and as I went back to bed again later, I could remember more of it in the half-dream state. I had divided my psi body or psi field into sections and classified them into numbers. Somehow it all served the purpose of boosting my progress in pk.
Actually, a few days ago I also remembered what I had seen in the previous pk dream - I had been sliding a tiny object smoothly in a totally controlled way. It was an object on my table that I can't recognize. At some moment I started thinking if there really were no doubt constructs around and when I did, the movement stopped. I think that this could've been a practice session for the success with the radiometer yesterday evening.
I'm getting the impression that I can't remember my dreams simply because my mind doesn't accept it - I'm simply unable to perceive what I experience in the dreams. I'm thinking this because I could usually remember simpler and more familiar dreams. Only recently have I had more trouble remembering my dreams.
I guess my head has caught some cold with today's heavy wind (head hurts occasionally). Slept some extra to those lousy 5.5 hours after arriving at home. Before falling asleep, I tried to heal myself by visualizing damaged areas vibrating and becoming green.
Went a bit more serious about healing before going to sleep. I defined red color as damaged areas and green as areas where active healing would be taking place. After that I visualized looking at my head from several angles and turned every red spot into green. While processing a red spot, I continued the visualization of healing intent on all the spots I had already marked green. In the end, there were tens of such areas that I was concentrating on in parallel. Every spot that I had turned green, I felt heating up from cold until they got warm.
There was an area, in which somewhat more serious damage had taken place. It was somewhere in the center of my right hemisphere. When I concentrated on the spot, my head started to hurt and my right ear started twitching. I remembered that the ear was occasionally twitching and it had lasted for about a week already. Now this felt serious.
About 30 minutes later, there were no red spots left. A few really tiny ones still occasionally popped up, but I got an overall feeling that I'll be alright. All other spots except for the biggest troublemaker had warmed up.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Stopped radiometer
It was somewhat colder today morning and it was windy as well. I tried to lessen the wind with stasis field, but it was somewhat tough maintaining the mindset.
While going to the gym in the evening, I noticed that I could feel 2 different feelings - one of them was as warm as summer while the other was as cold as it would normally have been outside. I focused on the warmer feeling and thought that catching cold could just be a bad habit (getting used to not relying on the normal heating mechanisms of our bodies).
While rowing at the gym, I could feel 2 different feelings again - one of them seemed like infinite stamina while the other was giving up to the mind pattern.
While I was doing some workout on the feet, I could feel the machine and weights I had put on it. It was amazing, as I could feel the weightlessness (so light that I felt it rising on its own) of it all with pk and compare it with the weight on my feet (more than 40 kg). I was also able to boost my strength by helping out with pk - I could easily do 20 instead of 15.
Inspired by TheShaolinPunk's video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mLKzEI8xQY) on a psi-wheel levitation attempt, I rubbed my radiometer clean of dust and stopped it from full speed. =D Man, this was cool. I was able to hold my mind clear enough for about a minute. It steadily slowed down to a complete halt. Woohoo, but too bad I can't tape it - don't have a camera that would be fast enough to properly show the vanes spinning this fast. While writing this, the vanes gathered their full speed again.
I was standing, looking at the radiometer while feeling psi rush up my feet. I guess I was somewhat busy with focusing on the psi flow trough my feet and couldn't focus on the radiometer that much. I think I projected the feeling of myself standing onto the radiometer vanes and saw them slow down.
My second attempt was that successful anymore, as my mind was cluttered in thoughts based on the success.
Attempted to meditate on my higher self and finally managed to revive what I was able to do a few months ago. I could make myself radiate unconditional love. When I got the feeling of it, I started going through all kinds of objects, slimy insects and bugs, trying to love them. It made me feel a lot better and all the tension in the heart chakra vanished. Now I just have to practice it frequently enough to make sure I can always keep it going.
While going to the gym in the evening, I noticed that I could feel 2 different feelings - one of them was as warm as summer while the other was as cold as it would normally have been outside. I focused on the warmer feeling and thought that catching cold could just be a bad habit (getting used to not relying on the normal heating mechanisms of our bodies).
While rowing at the gym, I could feel 2 different feelings again - one of them seemed like infinite stamina while the other was giving up to the mind pattern.
While I was doing some workout on the feet, I could feel the machine and weights I had put on it. It was amazing, as I could feel the weightlessness (so light that I felt it rising on its own) of it all with pk and compare it with the weight on my feet (more than 40 kg). I was also able to boost my strength by helping out with pk - I could easily do 20 instead of 15.
Inspired by TheShaolinPunk's video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mLKzEI8xQY) on a psi-wheel levitation attempt, I rubbed my radiometer clean of dust and stopped it from full speed. =D Man, this was cool. I was able to hold my mind clear enough for about a minute. It steadily slowed down to a complete halt. Woohoo, but too bad I can't tape it - don't have a camera that would be fast enough to properly show the vanes spinning this fast. While writing this, the vanes gathered their full speed again.
I was standing, looking at the radiometer while feeling psi rush up my feet. I guess I was somewhat busy with focusing on the psi flow trough my feet and couldn't focus on the radiometer that much. I think I projected the feeling of myself standing onto the radiometer vanes and saw them slow down.
My second attempt was that successful anymore, as my mind was cluttered in thoughts based on the success.
Attempted to meditate on my higher self and finally managed to revive what I was able to do a few months ago. I could make myself radiate unconditional love. When I got the feeling of it, I started going through all kinds of objects, slimy insects and bugs, trying to love them. It made me feel a lot better and all the tension in the heart chakra vanished. Now I just have to practice it frequently enough to make sure I can always keep it going.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Flame amplifier
Spent most of the day studying for tomorrow's test and occasionally checked the forums for any news.
Watched one of the radiometer recordings and found it rather pointless to record anymore - the radiometer vanes were usually spinning at about the same frequency as the camera's frame rate. So, the speed-downs that got caught on the recording are just moments when I could see a vane on 2 or 3 frames instead of 1 =D - nothing worth uploading.
Attempted to record another attempt on swinging my room door just to see how it would look like when I managed to do it. Well, the camera kept adjusting its focus so that every 2 seconds, the whole image went blurry and then back sharp - even though I could occasionally feel it moving, nothing could be seen on the blurry recording.
Then I thought I should try to record pk on a candle. It worked better .. for a few minutes and then started focusing in and out just the way it did on the door. I was having trouble feeling the flame again. No pulsing and only slight movement because of that.
Instead of feeling the flame, I felt the candle and the plate the candle was on. When I felt the whole candle move slightly, the flame hopped as if the candle had accelerated and stopped fast, leaving the flame leaning with inertia. Also, when I felt the plate slanting, flame slanted in the opposite direction. The movements of the plate and candle were barely visible, but somehow it greatly affected the flame (amplified like more than 10x). I don't know how to explain this.
Watched one of the radiometer recordings and found it rather pointless to record anymore - the radiometer vanes were usually spinning at about the same frequency as the camera's frame rate. So, the speed-downs that got caught on the recording are just moments when I could see a vane on 2 or 3 frames instead of 1 =D - nothing worth uploading.
Attempted to record another attempt on swinging my room door just to see how it would look like when I managed to do it. Well, the camera kept adjusting its focus so that every 2 seconds, the whole image went blurry and then back sharp - even though I could occasionally feel it moving, nothing could be seen on the blurry recording.
Then I thought I should try to record pk on a candle. It worked better .. for a few minutes and then started focusing in and out just the way it did on the door. I was having trouble feeling the flame again. No pulsing and only slight movement because of that.
Instead of feeling the flame, I felt the candle and the plate the candle was on. When I felt the whole candle move slightly, the flame hopped as if the candle had accelerated and stopped fast, leaving the flame leaning with inertia. Also, when I felt the plate slanting, flame slanted in the opposite direction. The movements of the plate and candle were barely visible, but somehow it greatly affected the flame (amplified like more than 10x). I don't know how to explain this.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Twitching flag
Had a really cool dream of practicing pk in my room, but unfortunately I can't remember anything. The only thing I can remember is that it seemed so real that I thought I hadn't been sleeping.
A satellite workshop day, which meant no pk practice even though I really felt for it. While doing the same I did last year, I felt just how much I had changed since the last spring, when we had last such workshop.
When I came home and walked past the 3 flags in front of the building supplies store, I decided to try something again. Since there was no wind, I tried to make the nearest flag rise up and start flapping. It proved difficult and I could only get it move slightly when I visualized wind blowing at it. The results could be seen to some degree - while the other 2 flags were standing still, the nearest one was slightly moving and occasionally rose a bit higher in the direction I visualized wind blowing.
It has been 2 weeks since I received radiometer (which I was psyched to receive early). Well, I had ordered 2 things actually and they got split. I then set a goal to get the knack of stasis field on radiometer before the other package arrived. The other package arrived today and I can't exactly say that I have achieved the goal, but I have had some successful attempts at slowing it down.
Recently I have noticed that there are objects snapping around me more often and louder than before. When I was attempting to apply stasis field on the radiometer in the evening, my eyes got wet because of the intense light. When I moved my eyes away from the radiometer, furniture in the living room snapped loud. The same happened yesterday during meditation. I had been directing psi into the crown chakra and moved focus to the 3rd eye chakra to direct psi there as well. Exactly at the moment I did this, furniture in my room snapped loud.
A satellite workshop day, which meant no pk practice even though I really felt for it. While doing the same I did last year, I felt just how much I had changed since the last spring, when we had last such workshop.
When I came home and walked past the 3 flags in front of the building supplies store, I decided to try something again. Since there was no wind, I tried to make the nearest flag rise up and start flapping. It proved difficult and I could only get it move slightly when I visualized wind blowing at it. The results could be seen to some degree - while the other 2 flags were standing still, the nearest one was slightly moving and occasionally rose a bit higher in the direction I visualized wind blowing.
It has been 2 weeks since I received radiometer (which I was psyched to receive early). Well, I had ordered 2 things actually and they got split. I then set a goal to get the knack of stasis field on radiometer before the other package arrived. The other package arrived today and I can't exactly say that I have achieved the goal, but I have had some successful attempts at slowing it down.
Recently I have noticed that there are objects snapping around me more often and louder than before. When I was attempting to apply stasis field on the radiometer in the evening, my eyes got wet because of the intense light. When I moved my eyes away from the radiometer, furniture in the living room snapped loud. The same happened yesterday during meditation. I had been directing psi into the crown chakra and moved focus to the 3rd eye chakra to direct psi there as well. Exactly at the moment I did this, furniture in my room snapped loud.
Friday, October 8, 2010
More meditation
Slept a lot today morning thanks to no school.
Meditated for some 10-20 minutes in the morning.
Recorded a stasis field attempt on the radiometer. This time it also started slowly, but when it gathered speed, I couldn't stop it anymore. I could slightly slow its spinning down, but nothing fancy. I tried with lower speed as well, but even then I had problems slowing it down. Need to clear the memory card from unsuccessful (or only slightly successful) recordings - it's gotten full.
Also tried pk on a few doors in the apartment. I think I got two of them slightly twitching, but I need some more practice to feel them better.
Although I already meditated a little today, I was still making a lot of personality mistakes. I have become more confident, but now I look a bit arrogant to myself. So far it hasn't done much harm, but I keep noticing how slippery this path is for me (saying out things that are ok from my perspective, but could be slightly insulting from other points of view).
So, I took another meditation session. This time slightly uncomfortable to make it more challenging. I was sitting hungry and uncomfortable on a chair that kept knacking with every breath I took. I was listening to music with the headphones on that make my ears hurt. It was difficult at first, but it changed when psi started rushing into the head. Then it became just a matter of concentration.
When I was walking back home from the department store, I was suddenly struck by pk mind-state and felt psi at the top of my head become more dense. While it was slightly cold previously, then after the mind-state switch, I could no longer feel any cold.
I meditated some more. As I felt a lot better in the heart chakra already, I decided to meditate on the heart chakra, crown chakra and 3rd eye chakra together. Meditating on the 3 of them was not as efficient as meditating on only one. So, I also cycled through each one of them, providing them with psi while drawing it from the ground (4 floors below).
Such meditation on the crown chakra reminded me of what I had previously called "grounding". I would draw psi from the ground, flow it up through the whole body. Eventually it made a couple of points in my head hurt, I then continued with doing the same on 3rd eye chakra. When I started getting a bit dizzy, I stopped and went to sleep. The whole session lasted for about 35 minutes.
Meditated for some 10-20 minutes in the morning.
Recorded a stasis field attempt on the radiometer. This time it also started slowly, but when it gathered speed, I couldn't stop it anymore. I could slightly slow its spinning down, but nothing fancy. I tried with lower speed as well, but even then I had problems slowing it down. Need to clear the memory card from unsuccessful (or only slightly successful) recordings - it's gotten full.
Also tried pk on a few doors in the apartment. I think I got two of them slightly twitching, but I need some more practice to feel them better.
Although I already meditated a little today, I was still making a lot of personality mistakes. I have become more confident, but now I look a bit arrogant to myself. So far it hasn't done much harm, but I keep noticing how slippery this path is for me (saying out things that are ok from my perspective, but could be slightly insulting from other points of view).
So, I took another meditation session. This time slightly uncomfortable to make it more challenging. I was sitting hungry and uncomfortable on a chair that kept knacking with every breath I took. I was listening to music with the headphones on that make my ears hurt. It was difficult at first, but it changed when psi started rushing into the head. Then it became just a matter of concentration.
When I was walking back home from the department store, I was suddenly struck by pk mind-state and felt psi at the top of my head become more dense. While it was slightly cold previously, then after the mind-state switch, I could no longer feel any cold.
I meditated some more. As I felt a lot better in the heart chakra already, I decided to meditate on the heart chakra, crown chakra and 3rd eye chakra together. Meditating on the 3 of them was not as efficient as meditating on only one. So, I also cycled through each one of them, providing them with psi while drawing it from the ground (4 floors below).
Such meditation on the crown chakra reminded me of what I had previously called "grounding". I would draw psi from the ground, flow it up through the whole body. Eventually it made a couple of points in my head hurt, I then continued with doing the same on 3rd eye chakra. When I started getting a bit dizzy, I stopped and went to sleep. The whole session lasted for about 35 minutes.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Feeling powerless
Meditated in about 1 degree air yesterday evening. Although I'm seeing owltwelve progress really fast thanks to his crown chakra meditation, I don't want to start it before I feel I've gotten other chakras working right.
There was something wrong with my heart chakra - I was feeling tension right where the chakra is supposed to be. The regular muscle relaxation I'm performing before going to sleep each night also doesn't seem to affect it much. So, I meditated on healing it for some time.
Before falling asleep yesterday, I thought I would like to practice pk in the dreams for half night and the other half for regular dreams. I can't remember any pk practice, but I did feel different in the morning. I couldn't feel any psi and couldn't feel objects around me enough to even twitch them by negligible amounts. This is the first time something similar has happened in about a month.
While going to school, I had sun shining on my head and a moment later I felt that familiar feeling of being slightly out of the body. After that I could feel psi and objects around me again.
There was something wrong with my heart chakra - I was feeling tension right where the chakra is supposed to be. The regular muscle relaxation I'm performing before going to sleep each night also doesn't seem to affect it much. So, I meditated on healing it for some time.
Before falling asleep yesterday, I thought I would like to practice pk in the dreams for half night and the other half for regular dreams. I can't remember any pk practice, but I did feel different in the morning. I couldn't feel any psi and couldn't feel objects around me enough to even twitch them by negligible amounts. This is the first time something similar has happened in about a month.
While going to school, I had sun shining on my head and a moment later I felt that familiar feeling of being slightly out of the body. After that I could feel psi and objects around me again.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Leaves
I'm pretty tired again (a couple of nights with 7 hours of sleep each).
Got good news today - I had scored 95 in the quantum mechanics test. It was a weird test, because when the professor handed them out, I got worried about all the questions at first. There were only a couple of problems that I knew how to solve just by looking at them. Everything else I made up during the test. I forgot to take the handouts out that the professor had allowed us to use and also had to figure out the formulas based on memory (messed up one 10 point problem because of this). Fortunately I got lots of extra points from some other problems - I guess the text I made up made sense for the professor =D.
While coming home from school, I attempted to circulate leaves around myself. I also tried it in the morning, but it was too quiet for any larger scale effect. In the morning I got a few leaves to following me for a few steps. In the afternoon, I could almost make a half circle from wind, whereas I would like to be able to make multiple circles around myself.
There's something about this leaf circulation that keeps bugging me. I immediately liked the idea when it was proposed by Treasure Hunter. The thing is, I seem to remember having done it when I was younger, but I'm not sure of it - there are some things that don't fit. I remember the feeling of wind and leaves bending around me while I was walking down the road right behind the school in which I used to take wado wyu training. The road is covered in birch trees, which gives a great fall of leaves during autumn. Now the problem is that I can't remember having walked down the road in the first place - it leads to nowhere practically. There's another issue - I also remember it being someone else walking down the road and bending the wind with leaves.
So, I think that I either saw someone do it and could feel him doing it. Or I had wanted to learn to do it so bad that my visualization has been stored into my memory so that it's hard to tell the difference now. Another possibility would be a dream that I remember so well.
There have been a few moments lately, when I have felt teaching pk (or directing attention to it) to myself in the past. It reminds me of how Baron Münchhausen pulled himself out of bog by his own hair. It seems to relate to the feeling of time-is-illusory I had a couple of weeks ago.
Went to the gym today and when I came back, my hair was still wet from the shower. It was 7 degrees Celsius outside and I took a 15 minute walk home with my regularly thin outfit. Since it was slightly windy, I tried to feel it slowing down, trying to form a stasis field around me. I could occasionally get the feeling of the wind and slow it down, but the effect was only temporary - another gust of wind still dried my hair.
Got good news today - I had scored 95 in the quantum mechanics test. It was a weird test, because when the professor handed them out, I got worried about all the questions at first. There were only a couple of problems that I knew how to solve just by looking at them. Everything else I made up during the test. I forgot to take the handouts out that the professor had allowed us to use and also had to figure out the formulas based on memory (messed up one 10 point problem because of this). Fortunately I got lots of extra points from some other problems - I guess the text I made up made sense for the professor =D.
While coming home from school, I attempted to circulate leaves around myself. I also tried it in the morning, but it was too quiet for any larger scale effect. In the morning I got a few leaves to following me for a few steps. In the afternoon, I could almost make a half circle from wind, whereas I would like to be able to make multiple circles around myself.
There's something about this leaf circulation that keeps bugging me. I immediately liked the idea when it was proposed by Treasure Hunter. The thing is, I seem to remember having done it when I was younger, but I'm not sure of it - there are some things that don't fit. I remember the feeling of wind and leaves bending around me while I was walking down the road right behind the school in which I used to take wado wyu training. The road is covered in birch trees, which gives a great fall of leaves during autumn. Now the problem is that I can't remember having walked down the road in the first place - it leads to nowhere practically. There's another issue - I also remember it being someone else walking down the road and bending the wind with leaves.
So, I think that I either saw someone do it and could feel him doing it. Or I had wanted to learn to do it so bad that my visualization has been stored into my memory so that it's hard to tell the difference now. Another possibility would be a dream that I remember so well.
There have been a few moments lately, when I have felt teaching pk (or directing attention to it) to myself in the past. It reminds me of how Baron Münchhausen pulled himself out of bog by his own hair. It seems to relate to the feeling of time-is-illusory I had a couple of weeks ago.
Went to the gym today and when I came back, my hair was still wet from the shower. It was 7 degrees Celsius outside and I took a 15 minute walk home with my regularly thin outfit. Since it was slightly windy, I tried to feel it slowing down, trying to form a stasis field around me. I could occasionally get the feeling of the wind and slow it down, but the effect was only temporary - another gust of wind still dried my hair.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Resonating bowl
Yesterday evening I fed the levitation construct by visualizing myself becoming lighter again. Some 10 minutes later I realized that I was having doubty constructs around me and inside of me. I visualized them dissolving and ... everything started working a lot better. I felt that my intent to levitate was a lot more pure than it has ever been and I could feel myself rising slightly. The only problem was that I had to fall asleep because of early wakeup the next morning.
While at school, an idea for further pk practice popped into mind. Thanks to a video that owltwelve found on breaking glass with sound. It struck me that we have a bronze bowl meant for meditation. I think they slide a wooden stick around its corners until it starts to make a particular sound. Now what if I could remember the sound and visualize it so that the bowl would start resonating? Need to try this.
Decided to finish astrohysics presentation, switched on the light and I was baffled. I haven't been training stasis field on radiometer for 2 days and it just didn't move. It didn't even budge although the lamp was directly shining on it (should have started spinning so fast that I could barely see the vanes separately). I knocked the table twice, it budged slightly and came to a stop again. A minute or so later it slowly started gathering speed and now, about 10 minutes later, it's almost at its full speed again.
While at school, an idea for further pk practice popped into mind. Thanks to a video that owltwelve found on breaking glass with sound. It struck me that we have a bronze bowl meant for meditation. I think they slide a wooden stick around its corners until it starts to make a particular sound. Now what if I could remember the sound and visualize it so that the bowl would start resonating? Need to try this.
Decided to finish astrohysics presentation, switched on the light and I was baffled. I haven't been training stasis field on radiometer for 2 days and it just didn't move. It didn't even budge although the lamp was directly shining on it (should have started spinning so fast that I could barely see the vanes separately). I knocked the table twice, it budged slightly and came to a stop again. A minute or so later it slowly started gathering speed and now, about 10 minutes later, it's almost at its full speed again.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Cutting the chat
My aunt called again. The call got cut at some point again. Sometimes it gets cut for 3 times (as if she hung up). This time she made a pause, I thought she was going to hang up for some reason and the line got cut a fraction of a second later. She called back and asked what I was doing and why it always happens when she is talking to me. I'm usually annoyed by her lengthy talk (30 minutes to 1.5 hours a call) of her daily events that I'm not very interested in. So, I'm starting to think that perhaps it's some kind of a semi-conscious pk or something.
Owltwelve's watershaping video (this one) already looks quite surreal to me - I've only tried it once quite a few years ago and didn't succeed in any noticeable effects.
Took another pk attempt on a candle, as it's been quite a while since I did it last time. Lit a new candle and it .. stood there for about 10 minutes. Then I started to get the feeling of the carpet on the floor, the plate the candle was on and the candle as well. I found getting a feeling of the flame quite difficult again - it seems easier with other objects. When I got it, the flame started to budge a little and slightly change shape.
At some moment I changed the way I was sitting (it got slightly uncomfortable). When I did, I felt brain losing focus of the flame and it leaned almost over the edge of the candle (it was one of those cheap low-profile candles with a diameter a bit less than 4 cm). It leaned some more in directions that I had intended before and it started doing counter-clockwise circles with a leaned flame. It also shrinked down and grew taller a few times. Everything that I had intended before and didn't happen then.
Anyway, it was slightly out of control then (just like trying to move a toothpick on water backward, when it already has a construct that keeps moving it forward). I think I'm concentrating on the feelings of the flame moving too hard or something.
Also, it has been a while since the last time I experienced snapping. While concentrating on the flame (and probably slightly drifting in thoughts), an old TV set that I have in the corner snapped and startling me. Then I noticed that I was feeling objects around me at a couple of meters radius - it was not only the candle I had been concentrating on.
Owltwelve's watershaping video (this one) already looks quite surreal to me - I've only tried it once quite a few years ago and didn't succeed in any noticeable effects.
Took another pk attempt on a candle, as it's been quite a while since I did it last time. Lit a new candle and it .. stood there for about 10 minutes. Then I started to get the feeling of the carpet on the floor, the plate the candle was on and the candle as well. I found getting a feeling of the flame quite difficult again - it seems easier with other objects. When I got it, the flame started to budge a little and slightly change shape.
At some moment I changed the way I was sitting (it got slightly uncomfortable). When I did, I felt brain losing focus of the flame and it leaned almost over the edge of the candle (it was one of those cheap low-profile candles with a diameter a bit less than 4 cm). It leaned some more in directions that I had intended before and it started doing counter-clockwise circles with a leaned flame. It also shrinked down and grew taller a few times. Everything that I had intended before and didn't happen then.
Anyway, it was slightly out of control then (just like trying to move a toothpick on water backward, when it already has a construct that keeps moving it forward). I think I'm concentrating on the feelings of the flame moving too hard or something.
Also, it has been a while since the last time I experienced snapping. While concentrating on the flame (and probably slightly drifting in thoughts), an old TV set that I have in the corner snapped and startling me. Then I noticed that I was feeling objects around me at a couple of meters radius - it was not only the candle I had been concentrating on.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Coding, mostly vol. 2
We watched a couple of Chris Angel's Mindfreak season 6 episodes with father today (episodes 2 and 3). In the second episode, he walked up Luxor hotel and as he did this, I could feel him doing it. When he was halfway there, I started wondering just how long can he maintain his pk mind-state. Then I remembered what happened to my radiometer after days of stasis field visualization. If he did the same before his performance, he could have probably done it with almost no concentration on his goal (I guess).
While organizing a few bookmarks, I stumbled across this blog: http://superconscious1.blogspot.com/2008/01/levitation.html. It contains a few examples and a tutorial for starting out levitation practice.
Nothing much except for a few tries at the radiometer, feeling surroundings objects and programming a hobby project..
While organizing a few bookmarks, I stumbled across this blog: http://superconscious1.blogspot.com/2008/01/levitation.html. It contains a few examples and a tutorial for starting out levitation practice.
Nothing much except for a few tries at the radiometer, feeling surroundings objects and programming a hobby project..
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Dream of levitation
Uncle asked us to watch films yesterday evening. I really liked one of them: Adam's Apples (imdb). The "coincidences" in the film seemed quite familiar. It was as if the higher self of Adam kept trying to teach him his power of manifestation while he was ignorant about it. One of those few films that brought tears.
Went to bed late yesterday and saw a cool dream today morning. I was walking somewhere down the street in a semi-foreign place. The weather was cloudy and asphalt was slightly wet and reflective after rain. I ended up at a road crossing and tried to jump over it. I was amazed that I could do it and looked back at the distance I had just leaped. I continued walking and at some moment I noticed that there was some heavy wind around (probably from reading owltwelve's journal). I decided to try to levitate and use the wind for pushing myself forward fast. So, I ended up flying really fast instead of just levitating. I wanted to stop before the end of the road I was flying parallel to and became slightly worried about coming to a stop at this speed. It took some effort, but I could easily slow myself down and descend onto the road. The speed was still great and when my feet touched the road, I had to slow down further by running.
I woke up, but didn't open my eyes. Before my eyes was the last image from the dream that looked like an afterimage on the retina. It seemed weird that there was such an afterimage after a dream, perhaps I was still dreaming to some extent..
Constructs are really die-hard. I can no longer put radiometer spinning at slow speed - it just won't start. When it arrived, it would start spinning at slow speed even at twice the distance from the lamp. When father entered my room, it started spinning again slowly and came to a halt right after. It seems like it's also spinning about 2x slower at full speed than it did a couple of days ago.
I visualized dissolving the stasis field construct from around the radiometer vanes and it started spinning more freely. =P spins quite well at slow speed again now. Though, I wasn't able to stop it anymore.
Slept and meditated some in the evening. During meditation I started seeing all kinds of places (similar to this meditation) and feeling being somewhere else. I could see trees and a grassy plane covered in fog. I thought it was related to one of Drunvalo Melchizedek's videos we watched before I started meditating. Although what he said in the video seemed logical and his experiences felt real, I'm still skeptical about everything that comes from him (a lot of claims without references).
Went to bed late yesterday and saw a cool dream today morning. I was walking somewhere down the street in a semi-foreign place. The weather was cloudy and asphalt was slightly wet and reflective after rain. I ended up at a road crossing and tried to jump over it. I was amazed that I could do it and looked back at the distance I had just leaped. I continued walking and at some moment I noticed that there was some heavy wind around (probably from reading owltwelve's journal). I decided to try to levitate and use the wind for pushing myself forward fast. So, I ended up flying really fast instead of just levitating. I wanted to stop before the end of the road I was flying parallel to and became slightly worried about coming to a stop at this speed. It took some effort, but I could easily slow myself down and descend onto the road. The speed was still great and when my feet touched the road, I had to slow down further by running.
I woke up, but didn't open my eyes. Before my eyes was the last image from the dream that looked like an afterimage on the retina. It seemed weird that there was such an afterimage after a dream, perhaps I was still dreaming to some extent..
Constructs are really die-hard. I can no longer put radiometer spinning at slow speed - it just won't start. When it arrived, it would start spinning at slow speed even at twice the distance from the lamp. When father entered my room, it started spinning again slowly and came to a halt right after. It seems like it's also spinning about 2x slower at full speed than it did a couple of days ago.
I visualized dissolving the stasis field construct from around the radiometer vanes and it started spinning more freely. =P spins quite well at slow speed again now. Though, I wasn't able to stop it anymore.
Slept and meditated some in the evening. During meditation I started seeing all kinds of places (similar to this meditation) and feeling being somewhere else. I could see trees and a grassy plane covered in fog. I thought it was related to one of Drunvalo Melchizedek's videos we watched before I started meditating. Although what he said in the video seemed logical and his experiences felt real, I'm still skeptical about everything that comes from him (a lot of claims without references).
Friday, October 1, 2010
Flagflaps
And owltwelve keeps blowing. He said there's a storm where he lives and that he could easily bend trees and move large objects with the wind. =D
While in bed, I concentrated on the more pure calmness and peace feeling inside of me that I had found earlier. I noticed that it was more than a feeling, it was some kind of stuff that filled my whole body. When I concentrated on it, my breathing changed (I breathed less). A few seconds later I felt it difficult to breath - I was probably slightly out of the body. I started seeing some kind of light inside of me again (There were parts in me which still didn't emit this light).
In the morning, I opened the balcony door and found it sunny and warm outside. When I turned my laptop on though, it showed 1 degree Celsius. I checked local weather stations and it was 1 degree Celsius indeed. Strangely though, it felt like at least 15 degrees or more. It means that my body has changed to the cold regime.
So, I walked to school with a T-shirt and this thin jersey I usually use during cold summer days. It was interesting to look, how people had packed themselves in heavy fur coats and warm jackets. I could definitely feel the cold, but it didn't penetrate through the skin so that I felt warm inside.
I'm usually using a shield to locate nearby cars and bicycles so that I would know what to expect when I look to the left and right at road crossings. Somehow when I use the shield, I usually can't sense any cars or bicycles nearby. It's rare to actually find any, which made me think that perhaps this shield has some kind of a "don't drive here" intent programmed on it.
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While walking back home, I saw the construction supply store that's conveniently near home. It has 3 flags flapping in front of the building. I decided to play around a little.
Took the first one (the one nearest to me) and tried to reverse the direction from which wind was blowing at it. Well, it occasionally changed its direction, but so did the other 2.
Then I tried to make the nearest 2 flags flap in inverse directions at the same time and well, they occasionally did. Although I intended the nearest one to flap towards my right and the second towards my left, the nearest one occasionally flapped away from me and the second one towards me. So, they were almost always flapping in inverse directions, but not exactly how I had intended to.
I was already at about 30 meters from the flags and decided to try stasis field on the nearest one. It started to descend slowly while the other 2 were still flapping in random directions.
I was at about 10 meters from the flags when I felt a shift in my mind-state (I think my brain got attuned to the correct frequency). I decided to attempt stasis field on all 3 of them. It only took about a second or two until all of them were hanging down motionless. While walking past them, I felt wind playing around with my hair and clothes, but the flags were still standing totally still.
I was at about 20 meters from the flags and the flags were still motionless. So, I started visualizing my construct dissolving from around the flags. When I was at about 30 meters from the flags, I could see the 3rd (the nearest to me) flapping okay and the other 2 slightly moving around.
It cheered me up even though I was already happy. Walking past flags and glaring at them like crazy with a wide smile ... it could've looked weird XD.
While in bed, I concentrated on the more pure calmness and peace feeling inside of me that I had found earlier. I noticed that it was more than a feeling, it was some kind of stuff that filled my whole body. When I concentrated on it, my breathing changed (I breathed less). A few seconds later I felt it difficult to breath - I was probably slightly out of the body. I started seeing some kind of light inside of me again (There were parts in me which still didn't emit this light).
In the morning, I opened the balcony door and found it sunny and warm outside. When I turned my laptop on though, it showed 1 degree Celsius. I checked local weather stations and it was 1 degree Celsius indeed. Strangely though, it felt like at least 15 degrees or more. It means that my body has changed to the cold regime.
So, I walked to school with a T-shirt and this thin jersey I usually use during cold summer days. It was interesting to look, how people had packed themselves in heavy fur coats and warm jackets. I could definitely feel the cold, but it didn't penetrate through the skin so that I felt warm inside.
I'm usually using a shield to locate nearby cars and bicycles so that I would know what to expect when I look to the left and right at road crossings. Somehow when I use the shield, I usually can't sense any cars or bicycles nearby. It's rare to actually find any, which made me think that perhaps this shield has some kind of a "don't drive here" intent programmed on it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
While walking back home, I saw the construction supply store that's conveniently near home. It has 3 flags flapping in front of the building. I decided to play around a little.
Took the first one (the one nearest to me) and tried to reverse the direction from which wind was blowing at it. Well, it occasionally changed its direction, but so did the other 2.
Then I tried to make the nearest 2 flags flap in inverse directions at the same time and well, they occasionally did. Although I intended the nearest one to flap towards my right and the second towards my left, the nearest one occasionally flapped away from me and the second one towards me. So, they were almost always flapping in inverse directions, but not exactly how I had intended to.
I was already at about 30 meters from the flags and decided to try stasis field on the nearest one. It started to descend slowly while the other 2 were still flapping in random directions.
I was at about 10 meters from the flags when I felt a shift in my mind-state (I think my brain got attuned to the correct frequency). I decided to attempt stasis field on all 3 of them. It only took about a second or two until all of them were hanging down motionless. While walking past them, I felt wind playing around with my hair and clothes, but the flags were still standing totally still.
I was at about 20 meters from the flags and the flags were still motionless. So, I started visualizing my construct dissolving from around the flags. When I was at about 30 meters from the flags, I could see the 3rd (the nearest to me) flapping okay and the other 2 slightly moving around.
It cheered me up even though I was already happy. Walking past flags and glaring at them like crazy with a wide smile ... it could've looked weird XD.
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