Uncle

It's uncle's birthday .. visited him.

He was sincerely happy about us being there (judging by the feeling).

When he woke up and looked around, it felt a bit alienating at first. Haven't seen a body in such a condition before, at least not in this life. He couldn't speak, he could barely nod and feeding him was not all that easy. He could barely move his hands (for most of the time, they were in some semi-cramped default position), let alone his feet.

Had a vision / flashback where he still looked similar (thin), however, he was finally free of the tumor. His whole body was now clean. A fresh start on a beautiful day. He was working his muscles and learning to speak and walk again.

Wished him a good recovery and good health so that he can live as an example of inspiration for others who would have a similar problem in the future.

Would be really awesome if he turned a yogi after his recovery.

To me it seemed that it would take him several years of focus to recover and become well. He has taken a really tough mission.

I think I could help him more if I could sense the energy channels in other people well enough. Currently I don't know what's going on and I don't feel confident in messing around in his system without being able to sense it all. I guess a Kundalini awakening could be fatal in such a condition and I'm afraid providing more psi into his central channel might induce an awakening. Perhaps I should reduce the amount of energy in his head, perhaps I should increase the intensity of energy flow in his left channel? Or perhaps in the right channel? I'm not even sure if I really should encourage him and boost his willpower .. it might also be dangerous because it might speed up the process (which could cause extra pressure to build up in the skull). Even though I know I can heal, this situation is currently beyond me. Thus, I've occasionally visualized transferring him knowledge and wisdom that even I don't have. Perhaps one day he can teach me.

Throwing cards

Attempted white skeleton meditation again last night. The flow of psi released some pain in the head. Fell asleep several times and the practice was cut prematurely. Still, it had a great effect on psi intensity and health.

Some pk practice in the dark a couple of nights ago.

A daily nap or two, while staying alert.

Today evening, Hyena called, regarding his recent progress in OBE / astral travel. He had left the TV on a channel with foreign language which he wouldn't understand (easy to focus on, while avoiding the mind translating the text), then took a daily nap. He thought of visiting the ET. Just as he did, he felt being transported to a ship of little Greys. It took him a considerable amount of effort to avoid being kidnapped and to make his way back, which he did. A really amazing experience.

Practised throwing cards today. Used pk to aim before throwing. Lost the cards before I managed to throw it into the crack between the wall and the door. With the help of pk, I did get it about 1 cm from the crack (sometimes directly, sometimes with a deflection from the ceiling, sometimes with a bounce from guitar strings and so on). Pretty cool .. =D Right, the distance was about 5 meters. Outside (no wind) we managed to throw the cards more than 30 meters, but accuracy was way off (the cards would flip over in the wind when they flew over the roof).

Throwing shuriken and nails might be a bit similar in technique. Would want to try nails tomorrow. Though, with a regular playing card it's already possible to cut fruit.
Edit: Nope, throwing nails is different.

Staff-spell to free a wolf

Took a hike to another home farmhouse, a few kilometres away. A slightly foggy day with heavy clouds and a faint howling echoing in the distance. Aunt said this howling has been there for days .. eventually it turned out it's been there for perhaps even a month.

I said: "Let's go take a look, maybe there's a monster after all =)"

I had a staff with me (ahem, a toilet refill valve). Imagined casting a spell with it, which would free the dog. The howling stopped.

As we arrived near a neighbour house shining from behind some trees (Christmas lights), a white wolf dog appeared. It was sooo happy to see us and wanted to come with us.

Anyway, we had to take the dog back to the house so that it wouldn't follow us to our home (we have another dog). The dog was chained again and howling restarted.

What a lovely dog :)

Half-manifested lightning

A couple of evenings ago, I focused on the old oak tree, then on the silent noise of the wind in the forest. Wind picked up. I had just installed an antenna about an hour or two ago and was wondering if it was safe against lightning as well. Bah, at winter there's no lightning anyway.. A flash of white light, followed by a noise that seemed similar to thunder (could've been a steel plate snapping due to temperature gradients or wind). That was the only flash and the only sound of thunder that I heard. Later it was no more.

Yesterday evening there was a nice wind. Played with it a little. Wind picked up. Picked trees to sway around with the wind, turned it around the corner and swayed some Christmas decorations.

Some flickering of lights, disturbed TV transmission (digibox didn't work while I was meditating), some precog (which present was meant for me) and empathy (checked if grandparents were awake before I called them).

White "room"

Periodically woke up yesterday morning, expecting for a Skype meeting, which was supposed to take place sometime in the morning. The meeting didn't happen, ended up pretty tired. Enjoyed a yawn party, which, after lasting for at least 30 minutes, culminated in the brain waking up.

A few hours later, I felt more lucid than I've been in the last few years. Felt really close to waking up from this reality.

Took a nap in the evening. A few minutes into the nap, I noticed a white portal somewhere nearby. There was somebody there, aware of me. Slowly entered through the portal, while the being was cleaning me with the white psi. The white "room" was without form (thus, not really a room), or rather, it had the form that was projected from my mind. Semi-subconsciously I had projected the 3d image of our bathroom. From the white psi, a part of the bathroom appeared.When it manifested, I could feel it inside-out and move around in there, as if it were an OBE.

Okay, just found that the laptop had woken up inside the bag. It had been there for half a day, battery at around 0%. I hope nothing overheated. When I plugged it in, it went to sleep. The new laptop has already developed some pretty unhealthy habits.

Suspicious

Have been feeling floaty for the past few days.

Visited one of the department stores today. There was a group of drunk young men trying to be cool. One of the guards was called there. The guard looked pretty small, when compared to those guys .. who didn't take him very seriously. Targeted the group and tried to make them feel tired and sleepy. Don't know if it worked at least a little or not at all. A couple of minutes later, an alarm went off and firefighters parked at the front. Strange.

A couple of mystical work-related bugs and some geisting incidents.

Yesterday I found myself locked out by the laptop .. couldn't login. An Ubuntu update might have changed the permissions on .Xauthority.

Today some memory corruption appeared on my laptop. Copied a few lines of Pawn script, and when I tried to paste them, I got some funny piece of code that I don't think I have anywhere on this laptop at all - looked like a snippet from a graph traversal algorithm with half-Estonian variable names (I don't write code in such a way). Anyway, watched an SG-1 episode with Dad, came back and it got even more strange .. Ubuntu nearly froze with the SSD activity indicator lit. Couldn't power it off properly anymore, had to power-recycle it. Very suspicious.

Later it became keep the cloud of hot psi from being shot at the laptop. Took me some effort to turn the cloud more inward.

Crown and 3rd eye

Meditated again last night, with attention at the bindu point at the top of the head. At some point I became aware of a being to my right observing and making notes. Someone walked past towards my left. Didn't associate myself with them, I just let them be and continued focus on the sense of my own presence. Eventually, the crown popped open again.

After that, I noticed how breathing became more shallow and consciousness started shifting (it changed shape and leaned forward). There seemed to be an increased concentration of consciousness at the 3rd eye now. This process didn't finish, though .. the point of focus was becoming duller (was about to fall asleep).

Tried to keep focus on something more tangible for the mind (the sensation of levitation), which should be easier to do for a tired mind. Noticed the root chakra pulsating, so I also moved focus there. Some bursts of psi shot up from there, hurting the back of the head slightly. There was some effect - a sensation of a pull upwards. Though, could hardly maintain focus and went to bed.

While attention was wandering, I saw an image of a tree in a storm, visited sister and Dad and so on..

Tantra fail: leaked a lot of psi while semi-conscious. That's the second night in a row that this has happened.

Smooth flow

Yesterday I dropped all sorts of shields from the chest area and realized that a lot of the tension disappeared. Instead, I became aware of a smooth flow of warm psi in the left channel.

Also, I think sipping warm tea had an effect there. I guess by eating cold food for months, I had lost a point of reference or something. The sensation of warm tea probably helped to bring attention to the smooth flow of warm psi.

Meditated and practised focus before bed. Saw myself at the place where I had intended to travel to in that dream of hike. I guess I did not come back from that journey in the dream after all (post-dream visualization worked =).

School obscures the mind

Took another part of the body and focused through the bones last night.

Experienced a flash of white light again (suddenly it became as bright as a day around the body). As sort of a self-defensive reflex, mind jolted back, causing the light to disappear again. Oh well.

Had a dream. I wanted to go and visit some place far away. Started walking. Weather was cloudy and moist, passed by some old buildings with roof fallen in. Forest thickened, then cleared out again. Crossed a stream.

Towards my left, there was an artificial bump, on top of which there was a picnic table and a couple of benches. Walked past it and when I looked back at it, instead of a picnic table there was now a Torii (Japanese temple gate) with a shallow waterfall that joined with the stream right where I had crossed it.

I knew I was on the right track but it was just the start .. knew the map by heart. Now I had to cross a river. There was a tiny island with one tree and some grass between the river banks. However, just before I managed to cross the river, the island broke loose and started drifting down the river.

That's it, now I was drifting away from the path that I knew. To make matters worse, the island sped up .. it was already moving so fast that I couldn't just jump off to the riverbank. It was perhaps 30 km/h and accelerating. Took a compass to at least check the direction - compass didn't work. Took a GPS, then - didn't work.

Became nervous and panicked .. got to get back soon, there's a lot of school stuff to do. Here I was in an unknown place, accelerating in an unknown direction without any way back. So I teleported back home.

Home was different than how I remembered it. Everything looked like a mess. Somehow made my way to the bookshelf and started cleaning the room. Uncovered a few yoga books I didn't know I even had in there.

Woke up with only one thing on my mind: "NoOo, it's still 2 hours till the alarm. Why the heck did I cancel a spiritual journey for the sake of some old boring schoolwork?" Sigh. Well, at least I facepalmed against one of the biggest showstoppers in my progress.

Heat

Meditated a little before bed again. Perhaps 45 minutes or so.

Decided to try something against my recent problems with cold. Lungs and throat seem to be the most sensitive. Focused on the inner surface of the lungs, visualizing it being hot, almost burning. Visualized the heat of a hot sauna, the heat of glowing pieces of wood, the heat of a bonfire against the skin, the heat of being between 2 bonfires, etc.

This increased the heat a little. Couldn't keep it up for very long, though (perhaps an hour).

Although this usually tests my patience, I decided to try a partial white skeleton meditation session. Just a few bones, how hard can it be? Right, after another hour of heavy focus, the central channel clicked open and only then did I feel it having any effect at all. By that time, it was pretty late already, so without starting all over again, I just focused on all of the bones in the chest glowing again. After that, visualized them dissolving and the psi spreading in the chest.

A few more moments of clarity throughout the night. Woke up tired.

Not against the will

Yesterday after all that homework, I had planned to take an online exam as well. Didn't want to take it then .. which must've had a pk effect. Did not try to neutralize the effect however, which would've just grown the karmic trace anyway. Nvm, one test barely affects the grade.

When I did try to take it later, the test appeared to be locked (since November already). So far all of the lecturer's attempts to reactivate it have failed. "Something like this has never happened before," he said.

One shouldn't do something against their own will. The will should be changed first.

Btw, the ending of Elfen Lied was just perfect.

Anime spree :(:

Finished the last episodes of Shinsekai Yori last night. Ate late, skipped pranayama, experienced dreams again (nothing particularly interesting, though).

A lot of homework, after which I watched a few episodes of Elfen Lied, another anime I've been postponing for years. That's also a really good one. Though, it contains a lot of gore.

These anime somehow make me feel warmth and love towards everything (doesn't matter if it's an animal, a monster, a "bad" or "good" person). Perhaps it's because it lets me observe karma from all sorts of different perspectives.

levitation dream

Experienced 1.5 dreams last night.

For some time into the night, I had been looking through my pk-related karma. I think I got to the point where I found myself free of the addiction towards psychokinesis. Experienced a dream where after having renounced pk, it had improved.

In that dream, dad woke up and had to go somewhere in a few minutes. Wanted to demonstrate a method to float / levitate. Took a chair, sat on it for less than a minute, stretched myself horizontally, leaning on air. Then focused on the central channel, in which, psi was pulsing slightly. Amplified this pulsation with the intent of lifting up. As intensity increased, I felt something changing. Told Dad to look as I was hanging in the air, top of my head scratching against the ceiling.

In the dream, I did not experience excitement .. but when I woke up, excitement / nervousness conquered the mind. Had a difficult time trying to focus. After an hour of the mind racing, it dropped into another dream .. until the alarm cut the dream.

The storm today morning was cool.

Today one of the coworkers expressed their excitement about how many abnormal coincidences there have been within the past few weeks. Told him it was pk.

Twitched a cookie on a plate before eating it.

Old stuff

Peered into stuff that resonated. One of them - Akiakane Flashback. Listened to it for a whole day, couldn't get enough .. until I watched the music video with English subs. Recognized the karmic trace, after which, the strange pull towards it disappeared.

Found myself emotionally addicted to an anime I had not seen before - Shinsekai Yori. So, I checked it out and found it pretty amazing. Recognized the karmic trace there.

That's some pretty old stuff still haunting me. These traces trace back before this lifetime. I recognize the traces but I can't remember where they come from. So far I guess I've ignored them because I can't remember their cause - that is, for the current me, these never even happened. How can one resolve past-life karma without remembering past lives? The only pieces I've remembered are some insignificant events.

On a different note, yesterday my sneaky remote healing experiment on uncle got cancelled. Just felt it wasn't needed anymore. Perhaps it's because the doctors disagreed to do anything before February. That is, in case he's still alive then.

Anyway, the experiment being cancelled + pranayama exercise probably caused a lot of psi to pile up in the body. Couldn't sleep, just laid there in bed, trying to maintain focus on the central channel. With the pranayama exercise, Sahasrara had also opened up and I could breathe into the central channel through the top of the head again.

While boiling potatoes, I was bored and balanced the foam spoon on the edge of the pot. Then tried to rotate it from side to side. A few minutes later, I managed to rotate it 45 degrees and back (almost back to how it was before, perhaps 10 degrees off).

Burned ribs to crisp in the oven. Strangely though, they tasted perfect.

Uncle

Doctors said uncle had just 2 weeks left. They were rather surprised, however, when another uncle said it's been already 7 years since it was first discovered.

Dad had found from Wikipedia that it's the pressure in the skull that kills. Whereas pressure builds up as the immune system fights the tumor cells. However, doctors don't want to release the pressure because it's not a standard procedure and would thus allow for people to sue them once the patient died (for not following the standard procedure).

At least I used to think it was the tumor that killed, not the pressure. It's easier to release pressure than cut the tumor.

We've also learned that chemoterapy was initially designed against blood cancer and doesn't work well against brain tumor. It usually just suspends the immune system, allowing for the tumor to grow without restrictions.

Yet another session of remote healing. So far all the healings have postponed it a little. It's not much use on a person who believes their faith is in God's hand, not their own.

Ganesha statue

Read some of the dream yoga book again before bed last night. Became quite fascinated by the description of energy channels. Realized just how non-refined my perception of them was.

URL to the PDF:
http://www.holybooks.com/wp-content/uploads/Tenzin-Wangyal-Rinpoche-The-Tibetan-Yogas-Of-Dream-And-Sleep.pdf

Stared at the Ganesha statue last night. Gradually felt more and more aware of the statue, while awareness of my body faded away. It's been a while since I last experienced this sensation as strong. Though, first time I've experienced it this strong with the eyes open. I was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding the statue in my hands and observing it from different angles. As I moved the focus back to the body, gradually I became more aware of my hands, feet.

Tried to sleep while maintaining focus on the central channel. Felt tired but calm in the morning.

Neutral presence

Mixed up days and went to school yesterday (a postponed lecture/seminar). While walking there, I kept focus on a neutral sense of presence (without spending psi on thoughts or emotions). There were ups and downs, but for a few minutes, I saw white light shining through objects. From the corner of my eyes, I saw a car driving down the road. Knew it was going to turn towards the road I was about to cross before it even slowed down. The car stopped strangely far from me. Probably the awareness also affected the driver.

Maintained focus on the neutral presence before sleep. Experienced a strong standing wave throughout the body. A constant flow of psi settled down, with a peak in intensity at the 3rd eye.

Occasionally fell asleep, woke up and refocused. Soon the consciousness lifted out of body slightly. The cloud of consciousness was rather hot, almost burning the skin on the face. Eventually the nerves became used to it.

Some time in the morning, I found myself in the body but detached from it. Could see the room clearly, while hearing someone making a ruckus by moving chairs around. Feeling full of psi, for a second, I visualized a being in front of me. It did not manifest.

Re: ORMUS v0.02

K, I'll try to reproduce it from memory..

He took a 0.5L glass, poured it almost full of the old soviet era sea salt. Produced a solution of NaOH with a pH of 3.5, then waited for a white powder to settle out. He took the white powder and put it into a solution of NaOH with a pH of 3.7 and let it settle out again. He washed the white substance out with bi-dest water several times. From 0.5L of salt, he had a few milli-litres of white powder. He then put it into a -20 *C freezer. After a day in the freezer, he dried it in vacuum.

In the vacuum, something happened so that later 1/3 of the powder was outside the glass but in close proximity to it (some on the glass, some on the plastic base plate as a ring around the glass).

After drying, he put in some vinegar with a pH of 5 to remove Magnesium. After this, little grains with a golden shimmer settled out. He then washed it with bi-dest water again.

When he would rock the glass, these little grains would spin around in the water and it would take a long time for them to settle down at the bottom of the glass again.

ORMUS v0.02

Dad said the old sea salt back from the soviet era seemed the best candidate for extracting ORMUS. The salt probably originates from somewhere around the Caspian sea or something.

While cold-drying the washed salt in the vacuum, something happened so that he eventually found 1/3 of the substance outside the glass .. covering the glass and the base plate. A little weird.

Stimulated growth

Read a few pages from the beginning of the dream yoga book again. Realized that since the last time I read it, I have learned more about ignorance and how it works.

Lifeforms grow according to the stimuli. The part which is stimulated the most, usually grows the most and becomes the most sensitive. It is said that when a child is in mother's womb and the mother often sings to them, the child's auditory acuity improves and the child more easily develops musical hearing.

Karma, thoughts, emotions grow the same way .. which is why one should not try to suppress thoughts or emotions, but rather avoid acting upon them.

Tried to avoid interaction with the senses and thoughts. Eventually forgot it in the dreams, though.

Before falling asleep, in a way I tried to turn off the senses, which caused a loud snap in the light bulb and startled me back.

While moving psi around in the central channel, I experienced a mild pop in the throat chakra. Although I've experienced this before, I didn't know what it was.

For the past few months, I've been seeing localized flashes of white light when I change something (modify a thought pattern or look at an issue from another angle). When the eyes are open, the flashes of light seem to have a structure or a shape to them. When the eyes are closed, I would just see the light through the eyelids.