Tired

Those 3 days of testing in the lab about 12 hours straight each day really stretched my concentration to the limits. Had to re-focus several times and just prior the end of the last test, I made quite a few mistakes already.

Slept long, and slept twice today. Leaked some energy on purpose, to make room for flow. No longer feeling as tired, but still I don't feel like working today nor tomorrow. So, that leaves the weekend for work again.

Remembered that I saw a sparrow enter my room at some night. That made me a bit happier. Last night I had some sort of a realization, which I can't quite recall at the moment.

Seagulls

A dream where I noticed a bunch of seagulls on the balcony. Friendly-waved at them from the bed. I didn't mind if they came in, so they did. A couple of them flew straight to the living room, a couple of them flew to me and started playing with my index fingers (biting them carefully so that they wouldn't hurt me). They looked similar to penguins (grey seagulls?) and were rather large.

There was another dream but forgot it.

There was a party at work today. Spent another 11.5 hour workday in the lab. I was a bit stressed, wondering if I could make it for at least 2 days off on Saaremaa during the New Year's Eve. I guess it has been 1.5 years since the last time I briefly visited the relatives there. It takes about 5 hours to get there (bus + ferry + bus + a relative with a car). And I still need at least one more 8 hour workday in the lab + a few workdays for analyzing the results. In 8 minutes, it's already December 30th (never mind, already is).

Anyway, gave up on it as it's almost impossible to make it there in time. Also gave up on the party. That made me happy(er).

I've been there on Saaremaa for a lot of nights, non-physically. That'll have to do for now.

Concentration

Although this subtle attitude towards everything is the key, that's not quite it. There's a key ingredient that cannot be put in words. Calling it attitude is a very rough approximation.

Concentration has improved a bit. Last night I focused on an imaginary point on the ceiling. A good method for OBE practice. Started losing body awareness right away. Reflexes kicked in and drew me back. Then focused on the crown, visualizing a mini-me meditating there in full lotus pose. Then a mini-me meditating on the crown of the mini-me, and so on recursively. Immediately felt an effect, even though the effect was more noticeable when I drew focus back.

There have been a few moments when sexual energy has become active, but then turned into waves of heat moving up the body. Recently there have been alternating waves of heat, then waves of cold.

The weather has finally caught up with the season. Waiting at the bus stop for 18 minutes was not as easy as I thought it would be. Visualized a strong upward flow of energy for most of the time. Spiced it with a visualization of heat emission from thermonuclear fusion. Almost worked. Though, it was not as effective as I would have hoped.

Crutch

Visited graveyard and church with grandparents. Sang along and found that singing helps heart and throat chakras quite a bit. Attempted pk on one of the chandeliers and on a cloth hanging from the bishop's podium. No visible success. It seemed easier to manipulate the brochure with song lyrics. Tried to make it fold itself. The effect was small but visible (the far edge rose about 1 cm, not more).

For several times throughout the past few days, I've been quite close to the channels opening. Almost, but not quite.

Feeling this urge + mild sadness for something that is out of reach and out of this world. Again.

The church Christmas program made me feel sorry for all the people. The religion is like a crutch that people like to lean on while minding their daily business. One one hand, they're sad because they cannot walk or stand upright without the crutch. On the other hand, they're sad because they don't want to leave the crutch. This is not only a problem for religious people; everyone is raised this way, as our whole society has sprung from religion.

About Jesus. Realized how similar his actions (and depicted appearance) were to that of the Quetzalcoatl. Jesus also taught people to learn to live without the crutch (which contradicted with the first testament that seemed more geared towards a race of slaves).

Bought a lot of games via Steam. Undertale is a true gem, IMHO. Basically, the idea is that there has been a war between monsters and humans. Monsters are creatures without bodies (just souls), who can consume weak souls. Humans often have souls much more powerful than the most powerful monsters. However, afraid of the monsters, humans killed and cast them into the underground. Thanks to the difference in the soul strength, in most of the fights it is possible to learn the mind of the monster and defeat them without even fighting. The game is .. well .. a bit girly, but full of unexpected events and funny, too.

Far does the road take you.

For the past two days I've been standing at the laptop again. Which has caused a bad habit for the cat. He would try to climb me to see what I'm working on. With his claws penetrating my skin, I'm not very fond of it. I've been trying my best at expressing that I don't like it. Sometimes I've visualized my skin being made of steel or blackboard, screeching against the cat's claws and teeth very uncomfortably. Sometimes this makes him go away. Sometimes it doesn't. Anyway, standing at the laptop for hours makes a full-lotus pose meditation session very appealing. So, meditated a lot. In addition to meditating, I also slept a lot during the day yesterday.

A few nights ago in a dream, there was a police officer behind a car. In my opinion, he was acting strange. In any case, he wanted to demonstrate some new technology. It was some sort of a lightbeam weapon but not a laser. At close range, it had little to no effect. Its beam converged at a distance and turned air into plasma, which then splattered. To me it seemed rather dangerous and I thought he was using it carelessly. Anyway, he pointed it at about 1 meter from a man at a 100 meter distance or so. It seemed he shocked the man without causing any harm. He explained that the plasma was quite harmless, which I didn't believe. At some moment I thanked him and continued into the building, for a meeting of some sort. I think later I also looked back at the building. It was odd. An exaggeratedly futuristic version of a glass box (with domes and spheres that served no functional purpose).

Last night I tried to OBE. Didn't quite get there .. I think. Nevertheless, in the relaxed state, I sometimes saw through closed eyelids. I saw something black (one of the blankets?) just in front of me, and a bright light just to my right, above the head. This happened 3 times. Also, once I experienced a loud popping sound in my left ear. This reminded me of the bubble construct I once tossed at father's head (which probably felt similar when it popped). For some time, I breathed different. Somehow I was breathing deeply whereas the body was barely breathing at all. Each breath affected not the lungs but the central channel.

Cool dreams. Or, at least some of them. In one of them, I sat up on the bed and discussed something with uncle's widow. She appeared on the balcony and spoke from there, since there's a barrier around the room. I could both see her as well as not, as she was behind the wall and I was a cloud of consciousness both facing towards her through the window as well as facing away from her .. as well as sleeping in the bed. OBE-like, but not vivid enough in my opinion.

Another dream. I'm at home, wondering how to pimp the apartment. Since I'm more-or-less living here alone now. Well, sister is also here, when she's here (currently away). For a few nights I had been thinking of installing a sauna heater in the bathroom. Well, last night as I was explaining it to father, I thought: "What the heck am I thinking? This does not make sense." At some moment, Mom also visited the place. You know how it works in dreams, they just pop up .. without special effects, of course. Also, in the dream I had quite a bit of money on the bank account, so I looked around for a car to buy. Observed them in a similar way (just popped in and around the car as a cloud of consciousness and looked at it from every angle). In reality .. nope, dream .. I found myself observing a car I wouldn't even call a car, similar to the absurdity of the sauna heater thought =D. I don't even. Never mind.

Tired of sleeping, woke up and pulled the phone out of the pocket. As soon as I did that, its alarm went off (latency in the order of 0.1 s). Wow, haven't been that accurate in wake-up timing for .. err .. I don't know.

As I entered a bus today (and fancied about pk and enlightenment subjects), an old lady came and asked me: "How far does it take you?" I didn't get it, since a bus usually takes you as far as you let it take you (depends on the bus stop one goes off the bus, right?). Eventually I answered: "It's number 3." She scorned at the answer and repeated her question, which now seemed like a sentence: "Far does the road take you."

Every time I enjoy a slight breeze, a storm picks up. Missed a bus from work to town again and waited for another one. The stormy wind made it a bit too cold.

---

Thank you Reddit for Igorrr. I've been listening to Igorrr and Corpo-Mente albums for days now.

Plugging the leaks

I was rather pissed off yesterday. Like .. it's all daisies until something is actually needed and then everyone just disappears and I end up having to do it by myself, almost without any help. Moreover, they expect me to get it done in time and have extra time for meetings and paper-pushing. I was under the impression that we had everything we needed for testing, but still had to spend most of yesterday on hacking together some testing equipment. The guy whom I invited for helping me prepare stuff for testing, disappeared even before the workday was over. Then there were also small things like a lot of components flying off from between the tweezers, a toggle switch becoming mechanically broken, the testing equipment not working up to specs and missing the bus back to town. I was angry enough to start walking back home on foot (around 30 km), but since I didn't have hiking socks and had a lecture the next morning, I decided to go back to work. Well, a coworker provided lift so that I didn't have to wait for the last bus. Got home and spent most of the evening (or what was left of it) on fixing the leaks in pipework. Found it strange that the cold water pipe was under so much pressure .. water even kept running when I closed the flow. Once finished with that, I realized the symbolism of plugging energy leaks.

This highlighted detachment for me again. Though, it did not trigger it completely.

Very interesting features within the dreams. Inspired from Reapers in Mass Effect?

I tried some sort of technology (a small platform for moving around), and then looked back at a recording of myself trying the technology. Noticed that there were tiny white butterflies around me at places. They were slightly transparent sources of light, changing their shape so that they resembled butterflies flapping their wings while remaining locked in space around the body. The largest one was right in front of the third eye. Perhaps at a distance of 5-10 mm. The body and its movements seemed very vivid and life-like. However, the recording did not stop when I thought it should / would. This triggered a realization of some sort. Can't really explain it. Interpretation: the recording technology was actually the main target of the dream. It worked on its own without operators and it was not man-made.

Another interesting feature. A false awakening, where my laptop woke up on its own, logged in and started a video game. I just stared at it from the bed, repeating the WTF? mantra. There was some sort of a faint clicking or crackling sound coming from somewhere. Couldn't determine the source.

Another feature in the dreams. Someone random approached me on the street and made compliments. Rarely do random people interact with random people and say things like that out of the blue.

BlarRbbB

Disappointed in Mass Effect. Good ideas but they've turned it into yet another mediocre third-person shooter. The quests and dialogues don't hold a candle to Fallout 2 nor Shadowrun. On the other hand it's all for the better - boosts my enthusiasm about game development ;).

I joined reddit for others' interesting stories of the weird(s). A list of faves, so far:

• /r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix
• /r/Thetruthishere
• /r/Paranormal
• /r/Psychic
• /r/DimensionalJumping

Played with the sensation of levitation again last night before falling asleep. Cranked some more power into the sensation, which yielded a mild headache. Stopped.

Exceptionally boring dreams. Today at work wasn't very encouraging. So I wasn't in the right mood for the ethics course. I was about to claim my usual seat after entering the classroom, when the speaker right next to me croaked a loud ...::BlarRbbB::... That startled me a bit. Though, it's not the first time that this has happened in that classroom:
http://sussch-daweird.blogspot.com.ee/2015/11/a-bit-of-bindu-and-geisting.html

The ceiling lamps at the corridor and living room have also been acting a bit strange recently. Flickering and crackling when I switch them on.

Although I haven't focused on the crown for a while, it has become more active. Today at work, just prior to lunch I felt a familiar sensation at the pineal gland. It's a sort of emptiness, pressure, cold and heat, combined with the feeling of well-oiled gears.

Dualistic oldtown

Well, another wet dream last night. Not exactly a dream. Simply crouched in the bed once, which triggered the leak.

Interesting dreams, though. Spent most of the time with a group of Germans at various places. I was a bit amazed at my own voice again. Had the deep voice and a somewhat more impulsive persona.

The dreams were cut with something more OBE-like, where I popped up at some castle ruins in the old town somewhere. I moved around, touching as many surfaces as possible, trying to maintain the vividness of the experience. Walked through a doorway, down the stairs and came to a larger room, half of which had been completely destroyed (bombed?). There were no walls and the ruins were on a small hill, so I could see quite far. In the distance, I saw the old town continue in both directions (to my left as well as to my right). In both directions, there were tall towers. The design on the towers as well as on the cathedrals and the rest of the buildings reminded me of Italian style. So I thought: "Is this in .. Italy?" I found it strange, that in both directions there would be similar buildings. Also, two towers and so close together .. a town with dualistic nature?

After that one, I popped back into the group of friends with a few Germans whom I did not know personally. It turned out that our bus + plane wouldn't leave in time. So we took an alternative route back home. We boarded some sort of a transport vehicle that merely consisted of white metal bars. It resembled a rather crude and simplified rope cart or rope train. Didn't see the rope, though. Although it ascended slowly, it took quite a bit of effort to hold on to the bars so that I wouldn't fall off. It went quite high, too. Eventually I just woke up (back).

The Germany-related prefix and suffix made me reconsider my "Italy?" thought. Though, the architecture did not look German, not to me, at least. Haven't been there, either.

---

Forgot to post this, but about a week ago I tried pk on a couple of flags while waiting for a car to work. The two flags were protruding from the entrance of a school building just across the street. Had the flags flap against each-other. Then tried to rotate the flags upward. Eventually that also worked. Noticed that one of the flags had curled around the pole more than the other. Uncurled it while keeping the other flag the same.

Wind and flags are very responsive to intent.
An old post from 2010 on a similar exercise.

The place of focus

Visited a friend's place again. This is the second time I've been there and the place still has the same effect on me. It focuses everything. When I close my eyes, I see all the random thoughts and noise converging into a single dot, until they disappear altogether.

Sexual energy has gone berserk again, though. The past week was quite challenging. Today I had 3 wet dreams in a row, which is exceptionally embarrassing while visiting friends.

Had countless OBEs at night. Popped up at random places and moved around, trying to improve the vividness of the experience with visualizations. For example, touched the asphalt, grass, ice, and tried to feel them with all the details. Some of the OBEs lasted fairly long, too. At first I couldn't fly around or phase through walls very well, as the experience faded when I tried. While flying or phasing, I couldn't focus on the solidity and the tactile details of the environment .. which made it lose its solidity.

Robotex 2015

My voice (and persona?) changed, for the tech exhibition stand at Robotex. Met a lot of interesting people there, too :). Wondered where Kevin was. Took a photo of the crowd with a satellite tele-lens and behold .. Kevin was on the photo. A lot of people. Really a lot. Would've been nice if I had also met PsiKristjan, who participated in a competition.

Had a lot of interesting dreams at nights. Not only I, but other people also had interesting dreams (a colleague even had sleep paralysis or something OBE-like).

For most of the time, I was observing others and their dreams, aware that I was dreaming. Once they drove their dreams to something that I knew would resonate with me in a bad way. Then I unlinked myself from their dreams, avoiding amplification of undesired emotions.

Also noticed that almost in each dream, after a while, sexual content popped up. Usually walked past those ads and through a wall.

All in all, all the dreams were amazingly lucid. Well, reality was as well..

Finally got to try out Occulus Rift. Tried to merge in. Didn't lose body awareness fully, though.

Took up this clapping thing from the dream in the previous blog post. Applied it to startle the cat from his hatred when I forbid something (such as scratching my backpack or crawling into the cables and wires of computers). So far it seems to be working better than saying "No" or "Stop that".

Laser of sound

Yesterday morning I had some sexual dreams. No leaks, which is good.

Hmm .. cat has been quite violent today. It doesn't seem like showing the scratching pole helps. Each time he bites, I've been calmly taking him to the pole and showing that the pole is for biting and scratching (have done that about 20 times per day .. today for about 50 times already). It does not seem that he understands. Seems to be an intelligent cat, but it's the simple things.

On another note, I've come to notice that stuff happens so that the cat seems to be getting what it wants. For example, the cat keeps climbing onto the table (forbidden) to investigate the tomato. Anyway, a while later I'm eating a sandwich with tomato slices. One of the slices slides off and splats against the floor, right in front of the cat. Today I was eating tortilla chips. Saw the cat come into the kitchen and wondered if he also wants a chip. Then on its way to my mouth, the chip got entangled into the bag somehow and flew off. While it was airborne, I thought the whole chip was a bit too large for the cat. It bounced off the edge of a chair and split into two pieces, the smaller was a neat size for the cat and landed in front of the cat. The larger piece I picked up and ate myself. One day I cut sausage. The cat was .. well, obviously interested. It somehow happened that the knife cut through the sausage rather abruptly and the slice of sausage flew off the table. Splat .. in front of cat's face. Again I'm like: "That wasn't planned but in the end it didn't turn out too bad, either". The list goes on and on.. This has me wondering what's going on. Like, is my body somehow taking care of the cat on its own (without waiting for the approval of my rational mind). Or is the cat psychokinetic?

Yesterday I walked a short distance without the jacket. It wasn't that cold anyway. Though, later got shivers again. Oh well .. perhaps I wasn't ready yet.

At home, I encountered two sharp pain strikes in the perineum. Then it felt as if a blockage had dissolved, with energy moving up the column easier than before.

Laid down in bed and realized something interesting. I had no interest in visualization, but I was convinced I knew the sensation of producing very strong sounds with psychokinesis. I could feel the sensation in the mouth, I could feel it in the lips. It felt as if the air would start vibrating like a liquid or solid, but coherently. Some time ago I was a bit fascinated by the resonance that formed during whistling. Back then I practised whistling in and whistling out, so that I could whistle continuously without having to breathe. Whistling inward produced the strong resonance of the air / wind within the body, making it easy to feel. By reproducing this feeling, I'm pretty sure it's possible to generate sounds from thin air. I want to be able to make the Tibetan bowls sing, remotely.

Had interesting dreams with a lot of spiritual symbolism. However, one of them really stood out. There was some sort of a vicious non-physical creature chasing me. The environment was pretty (nice sunrise, clear sky and a lot of trees) and I took the whole thing calmly. I think I teleported away again and while waiting for the creature, it came to mind that a yell would help. I don't want to yell (not in favour of the style). Realized that when powered by psychokinesis, a clap could be as powerful. Clapped once, and sensed life within a radius of a few hundred meters become startled and momentarily paralyzed. Woke up and saw centres or spots within the body, which became pretty hot when I "looked" at them with my mind's eye. Each glance with the mind's eye caused not one, but a pattern of burning spots. Just like when looking at the sun, "purple" spots of desensitized light sensors appear .. the burning spots appeared in the mind's eye after looking at something powerful. Eventually the heat of the spots wore out, and the whole body was sort of covered in the warmed regions :). Shifted back to the standard state of mind again, and noticed I was sweating quite a bit.

Finally got at least 7.5 hours of sleep last night. Yay. Something sweet to think back on, after tonight's maximum of 3 hours of sleep.

Thick fingers

Tough morning.

Last night I enjoyed enlarging the cloud of consciousness. Though, in a slightly different way than before. I tried to picture the fibres or tentacles or whatever they should be called, which were mentioned in Castaneda's books. Found them coming out from somewhere between the abdomen and stomach. Perhaps those protrusions are what automatically keeps me upright some-strange-times? Perhaps those are also causing the snapping and crackling sounds throughout the room?

Anyway I became aware of these protrusions becoming thicker .. then the consciousness cloud counterpart of my fingers and everything becoming thicker and thicker like balloons.

Interesting dreams again, which I don't quite remember. The dreams had something to do with spiritual symbolism again (ovens and old buildings with all sorts of secrets hidden within the walls and such).

No you're not

oO Yay, I'm gonna practice pk after such a long while. So, I sit down on the bed with the cat and a can. I'm just about to get the concentration going when the door bell beeps and dad comes for a visit. He borrowed the vacuum cleaner. He leaves, then sister comes home and starts chatting. Then something else comes up.

In the evening I'm all "CoOL, now gonna practice pk and stuffs!" I sit down on the bed with the cat and a can. I'm just about to get into the state of mind when the door bell beeps and dad comes for a visit. He brought the vacuum cleaner back. Since he has time to kill, we discuss some aspects of how the world works. He leaves.

I think: "Perhaps could practice pk now.." The door bell beeps (sister is about to come home again). So, called it a day, yesterday .. and uh, took a shower and went to bed, instead.

There were some interesting dreams, but I've forgotten them.

Woke up stressed, because I remembered stuff I had to do, which I hadn't had the time to do previously. Took today very serious. Listened to metal and skipped smiles.

The pillow is alive!

Finished Ghost Hound yesterday.

For the past couple of nights, I've been attempting to stay motionless and thoughtless until the body falls asleep. Last night was already a bit more interesting. No OBEs, but the pillow twitched and made sounds. It once made a booming sound. Also heard this sound of breathing out of the body .. but the body wasn't quite asleep yet and I was back whenever I tried to move around.

If nothing else, last night improved concentration quite a bit. Have been feeling quite floaty today.

There was something important about the meditations last night. Eventually remembered that after all those rounds of relaxation (falling asleep, waking up again and repeating the relaxation perhaps about 20 times?), I noticed a presence with unconditional love. I was sincerely surprised. This made me feel bad about treating myself as carelessly as I've done so far.

Today there was some sort of energy coming up from the stomach, which had the tendency of making me feel angry about things. Tried to clear obstructions so that the energy would flow better, while also trying not to judge things. Without judgement and blockages, this energy did not transform into anger. It was just heat.

Oh, I've also managed to get too much wind into the right ear and the wind has not come out. It hurts a little.

Excited about excitons

Yesterday I really enjoyed the environment while walking the last kilometre to work from the bus stop. Sun was shining and trees were swaying very slightly. Got entangled to the air for a moment. Since then, wind picked up. Today there has been quite strong wind. I heard that even a storm has been predicted for the upcoming days.

Last night I heard the sound of deeply breathing out from the body, which was at a distance (has usually happened just before OBE). No OBE, though. Dreams have been boring, too (just games).

Today an extraordinary excitement struck me when a lecturer was describing excitons in crystal lattices. Haven't heard a lecture that captivating for years. A lot of curiosity and ideas of research topics & applications came to mind. There it also occurred to me that limpidprogress' idea for obtaining immortality for working on all the hobbies .. you know, maybe it's not that far-fetched after all?

Realized the feeling of cold is nothing other than unbalanced Yin and Yang. I have plenty of Yin, but there's a problem with Yang. Especially when I'm chatting with someone about spiritual stuff. So, I just need to stay still and meditate a lot more. In addition to random moments of meditation, I have been feeling a few waves of heat, followed by the familiar sensation of the bindu fluid spreading around in the head.

Ghost Hound is amazing.

Pk research cooperation?

Nice, a colleague successfully defended their PhD thesis. I was rather nervous there, keeping myself back from comments on issues that I thought were not addressed.

My essay presentation about the properties of finite and infinite universes went okay as well, I guess. It wasn't as smooth as I would have liked it to be. And there were practically no questions from the audience, nor did they laugh at what I hoped would be funny.

Anyway, that's it with the course on religion, science, pseudo-science. Generally I marvelled at the intelligence of the lecturer, though, his motives seemed a bit unclear. Obviously he was lying when he said that he had not had any weird experiences but had heard a lot of stories from people. So, asked him about it and he admitted having had experiences with telepathy. We discussed some stuff, I mentioned a couple of my experiences and he asked me if I would like to cooperate in the research of these phenomena. His methods are still a bit unclear to me (got the impression that he wants to adapt the world - whereas I want to adapt myself to the world), so I did not give a clear answer but definitely agreed to discuss these things sometime or other. I'm a bit happy about that :).

Regarding telepathy, he said he heard the thoughts of other people. Most often, the unvoiced thoughts. This was sort of new to me, because I don't hear thoughts and I don't think I have. So far I have only felt thoughts.

How did I get here?

After seeing the first episode of Ghost Hound, I hoped to experience a lucid dream or an OBE. Well .. I guess I had a regular dream. It was very vivid and I couldn't recognize that I was dreaming.

Did some work, then had long discussions with Dad and aunt's husband on Saaremaa (it felt like I had been there for 3 days already or something). Then, at some point I said: "Ok guys, I have to leave for work.." and was about to leave. Uh .. wait, it's like 400 km. Would have to get to town and catch a bus, which would then travel for like 4 hours. Checked the mobile phone for time. 9:07 AM. What? I double-check it. 9:07 AM. I checked the sky and the clouds were indeed lit brightly enough for it to be 9 AM. No way I'm going to make it back by 8:30 AM. A colleague would have provided me a lift to work. Strange, he should've already called by now, asking where I am. It was a bit breezy, but when I looked up at the trees in the yard, I thought it might be strong enough so that the ferry is not moving. Well, whatever .. it was now 9:08 AM .. could just stay here and work from here :). I'll just send an SMS apologizing.. Dream loses integrity and I wake up at home and it's 6:58 AM and still dark(ish) outside.

Quite persistent. Especially the dream body, mobile phone menus, text and numbers, logical time progression and so on.. Such dreams have been quite rare, for me at least.

Fake responsibilities

Couldn't sleep last night (too much sleep during the weekend). Some sort of a stomach ache slipped past my adblock as well. Healing attempt didn't do any good, but drinking water made me feel better.

Tension increased further, until at some moment  I started to wonder about it. I know stress is a dead-end, so I'm going the wrong way again. It doesn't matter if I have too many responsibilities to properly fulfil them. Should keep in mind that most of my responsibilities are not really mine anyway. I have taken them because nobody else has. So, there would be nothing wrong if I simply fulfilled as much as I could and leave the rest for others to pick up. Especially since this would reduce the stress aka "friction" and increase my productivity. This train of thought made me happy, though, not without sacrifices. Those cutlets and potato peels were already turning black on the frying pan.

While discussing some law and investment stuff, I was playing with a toy seal. Then, at some moment I started laughing and had to put it away. Suddenly I had the impression of it being alive.

iMm0rTa1 suggested "Ghost Hound" (lucid dreams, OBE, hypnosis and probably more). Watched the first episode and found it really good.

Pressure on the teeth

Have been squeezing out the productivity from the weekend. On Saturday, I worked for 2 hours, slept for 30 min, worked for 2 hours and so on. While asleep, I continued work on the problems. Got quite a lot done.

Though, when I decided to go to bed for the night, the cat entered the room. He climbed over the cactus and wanted to chew on the plants. I took him out of there. He went back, but tried a different route each time. The last one was not safe, and he failed. He managed to pull the cactus off the window sill, which then fell on an old lamp shade. Protecting the cactus, the lamp shade shattered into pieces. I was quite surprised and a little bit sad, because I had forgotten the lamp shade even existed. Could have prevented it if I had seen it through. Well .. no precognition, either.

Obviously, the cat was really sorry and wanted to see what happened. It was really difficult to keep him away from the glass shards.

Anyway, finally in bed, I felt a strong pressure on the teeth. Thought Khechari Mudra would release the pressure, but that wasn't so. It had minimal effect. As I relaxed gradually, there were various crackling and snapping noises in the room.

Dreams were generally boring. Well, played a video game, which was interesting at first .. but I sucked at it. In one of the dreams, I walked to a train stop but it was all empty. I was there at midnight and had to wait for others who would come back from an excursion (something involving a boat trip, I guess). So, I meditated there for a few hours. After that, everything looked as if on fast forward. Someone asked me to guard their backpack .. but I couldn't even keep track of it. A lot of people put their backpacks and stuff there, picked them up again and left for trains.

Focused on a dot on the wall for about a minute today. Lost bodily awareness and started zooming in on the target for a moment.

While walking outside today, I noticed how I was feeling rather floaty and nicely focused. Still focusing on the bindu point (after a day of relaxation), by the way. Occasionally encountered a sharp pain in the pineal gland region.

Had an interesting idea, but it would be a bit harsh to realize it now: changing the blog format into a cartoon / manga. This would improve drawing skills a lot. But would also consume a lot of time for expressing the simplest of things. Some day .. some day .. or night.

Precognition

There has been a side-project for salaries. Though, now about 1.5 weeks before the end of the project, suddenly the list of deliverables changes. As if the schedule weren't tight already =/.

Well, personally I can't whine about it, because I suspected that would happen. I expressed the concern to our management about a year ago when the contract was signed. They said: "Don't worry, the only deliverables are .. .. ." Well, now it's a problem. Luckily, out of intuition I have been working on the new deliverables before too (although others have been repeating "It's of low priority, stop working on that!") - so we'll be able to deliver at least something.

Another project. I was asked to prepare a Gantt chart with a realistic project timeline. Did (estimated the timeline with the assumption that there are no delays, then multiplied everything by 4 or 5). Answer was: "We can't accept that, it's way over the deadlines". So, shrunk the timeline and tried to make the process faster. Well, after all those delays it seems the realistic project timeline was pretty close to how things have been going. Again, back when management discussed whether we should accept this project, I said we don't have the manpower. "Nah, we'll get more from somewhere." We still don't have enough people and now that I'm expected to work on the side-project and another colleague is busy with school, we pretty much don't have anyone to work on it. The day before the side-project issue came up, we had a meeting with the international partners and I told them we had higher priority issues to deal with, till the next meeting (not knowing, what the issues would be).

Finally bought a laptop for sister yesterday. The thing is, she liked the laptop at a relatively unpopular store. I've been walking past that store for about a year, drooling at the exact same laptop, wanting to buy it .. but for whom? It doesn't have an SSD, so it wouldn't have been very useful for me. Lucky that they had several, so there were still some left.

Sigh (sighing is unhealthy, by the way). All in all, I guess I should put way more trust in precognition.

---

Worrying about the side-project, I hadn't eaten anything but breakfast till 7 PM or so. Browsed the fridge and found an old mix of vegetables and cutlets. Poured it on the frying pan and noticed the vegetables and cutlets had stuck together with pieces of fungus. Also, based on the smell, the vegetables had become sour. Sigh. Fried it and ate it. Realized that the "getting sick" reaction is a matter of attitude anyway - if you're disgusted with the food, then it wants to come out. It tasted, for the lack of a better word, .. interesting.

Worrying about the side-project, I wasn't very productive past 9 PM. So I went to bed early, trying to free the mind. It took multiple passes to clear the mind and relax the body. Then to change myself in order to cope with the situation at hand. At some moment, I felt myself sort of blob together from scattered pieces into a single cloud of consciousness. This is the only way I can focus on the task at hand, to finish it efficiently enough.

Had an interesting dream. Me and sister had moved, although throughout the dream, sister remained in the old apartment. The new apartment was not ordinary. Although it was the same size, it seemed way larger. At first I had difficulties orienting in the rooms, as if the space-time was not linear. By going through a doorway, one could get to any other rooms (including the old apartment).

Another dream, where me and some sort of a companion were hiking / running through places, trying to remain undetected.

Yet another dream, where I approached the channel. There were a lot of people there, digging (or levelling out sand) with spades. I asked "How come you're all in swimsuits when it's November?" I don't think I received any response. Walked around, curious about what was going on. Stepped in a place where a guy threw a bunch of sand at me. I didn't mind, but his reaction was different. I guess all of them were a bit dozed off or something, just doing something (some digging, some swimming, some having a tan).

Stayed in bed a bit longer, trying to meditate while having focus on the bindu point. Ended up getting OBE noise, instead. For a couple of times, I somehow managed to relax enough so that the noise changed. Found myself in a strange version of my room (I guess). There was a large cabinet between the door and me. I recognized the halogen lamp on the wall .. but it looked different. It had some sort of a diffusing paper or plastic film on it.

A bit of bindu .. and geisting?

Only managed to sleep for 4 hours. Woke up from a dream where I was being chased by an entity. It all started when I approached the edge of the dream (forbidden area), looking for a nice house. Well, turned back, only to find someone pointing a turret at me. He didn't fire, but he had nothing stopping him, either. There wouldn't have been anything left, if he had fired. Although there had been a guardian (looked like an old friend) with me, he stood down and sided with the man operating the turret. Tested him, but he seemed like a machine. I was pulled out of the dream, I think. Now there was a slightly different man chasing me and sister. Fled through walls and stuff, but he always caught up. He was not a machine, though, and each time I managed to flee, he became softer.

This dream was triggered by the chat with mother the previous night. She had visited an old man, who had a house, a restaurant, an apartment and a summer house. The man wanted to sell at least one of these. Mother and her new husband liked the summer house the most. However, the summer house was the dearest to the old man. I suggested avoiding the summer house.

The focus on the bindu point has degraded. So, I can't maintain focus on one point for more than a couple of days .. yet. Anyway, as a work-around, I tried relaxing the focus while maintaining attention in that point.

Waited for a bus outside. It was cold. Nah, stop whining. The weather is the way it is, my own fault if I'm too weak to enjoy it properly. Then like 5 or 6 people appeared and started smoking all around me. Stop whining, you have air to breathe .. wait, too picky on air quality? Well, on one hand I know that the body is one of the most precious gifts that a soul can have and it needs proper care. But then again, constantly pampering and then whining when pampering is not possible .. that's just plain wrong.

Stopped fighting sleep on the bus to work, and closed the eyes. I was immediately in astral, working on some sort of math problems (finding relations between objects in patterns). Then, suddenly mind went blank and I no longer felt tired.

While at work, I felt quite uncomfortable - a bit dizzy with some mild nausea at various spots in the body. Then something happened (a popping sound in the head) and I felt the familiar sensation of the bindu fluid propagating down the central channel and spreading throughout the body. Tried to maintain the flow without obstructing it.

Got a lift back to town for a lecture. I was sort of dozing off when the speakers started crackling loud. First reaction was: "Geisting?" However, as I paid more attention to the sound, I could make out a humming background, which I think betrayed the cause - someone probably switched on some heavy lab equipment. After about 10 seconds or so, both the crackling as well as the humming stopped. At the end of the lecture, there were a few sporadic crackles from the speakers but without any humming background. This left me a bit puzzled .. maybe it was geisting after all?

Took a bus home. The bus behaved a bit strange. First of all, some kind of a side panel for lights electronics was open. Since it was raining, I sneakily closed it. While in the bus, I saw that the middle doors were shut tight and there was a sign: "Sorry, the door is out of order". An old lady stood next to me. When I finally suspected that she wanted to get off, it was almost too late. Still, she managed to make her way to the other door and leave.

Arrived home. No wifi? Hmm .. UPS is off. Switched it on, it kept beeping and indicating a dead battery. Well, the battery was just fine in the morning .. weird. So, I plugged all the stuff in the regular extension cord. Wifi access point switched on, but cable modem did not. Traced its power cable and got to an adapter, which smelled bad. Plugged it out and cut it open -- a ceramic capacitor had short-circuited and burned into coal. In addition, the isolation of a nearby transformer had melted from the heat of the explosion. No wonder the UPS battery is dead. Thought it would be a wonder if the modem would still be alive (possible because the adapter had two transformers with filters). Sought for a 15 V, 1 A supply but realized it would be too much work to assemble one for just testing the modem. Eventually sister woke up and used her phone to find the nearest service provider office, which was still open for 30 more minutes (enough to catch a bus and get there). As it turned out, the modem was also toast. But since the service is registered to dad's name, they did not accept the modem for replacement (not from me, at least).

All those incidents together in a sequence within an hour or two .. perhaps still geisting?

Hike, flight dream

A dream with an old classmate, who missed my birthday wishes. I didn't and still don't mind :).
Anyway, there was some kind of an orienteering hiking competition and we were in a team together. He used to be the fastest runner in the school, so he went quite fast. I managed to catch up with him, then went ahead, then he caught up and so on. It was quite fun, and eventually we flew around. Then after that, we rolled around on skateboards (first time for me, but he was quite proficient at it).

Ears (one at a time) started ringing quite loud. At the same time, something was going on with the blockages in the head. Also noticed distinct streams of heat coming from the hands.

Metal sphere

Started focusing on the bindu on the top of the head a couple of days ago. The first night I found a very bright white light on top of the head. In the previous years, I've seen it as yellow or golden but not white like that.

I've been feeling alone .. with an urge to do something amazing. However, nothing feels amazing. Well, digging into meditation, psychokinesis, ufology, conspiracy theories might be the closest. So I visited Mark's forum and saw a post by nowforever13:
http://psychicinvestigation.forumotion.com/t2935-small-metal-ball-with-strange-writting

He showed a small metal ball with a strange writing.

Drew it up and thought it looked like an illustration of a procedure of some sort (shapeshifting?).

The same sequence repeats around the sphere (twice?). It looks as if the dot symbolizes the beginning or the end. When read from the right, there's an arc (marks the quarter of a sphere?) with a plus. Then, 3 more plus signs appear. Three of them on the top merge into a line, as does the plus sign in the middle. Then the lines merge and a part of the arc is pulled inward (close but not touching the top line). The way the arc changes its shape, made me associate the illustration with shapeshifting. Don't know what the plus signs and lines are about, though. Anyway .. exciting enough, so I browsed the web for alien languages, metal spheres and crop circles:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Paranormal/comments/1lrqj5/this_is_driving_me_crazy_metal_balls/
http://hauntedohiobooks.com/news/materializing-mediums-and-flower-apports/ 

Edit: For comparison, dad referenced this sphere story:

---

Recently I've been playing Hitman a lot. Probably it has made its way into the dreams. There was a young girl, who got trapped into a foster care of some sort. I thought both parents were dead, but then someone turned up: "We have a problem. Her mother has suddenly become a millionaire, learned levitation and telekinesis." I found it inspiring and wondered how that could be a problem at all.

---

Birthday. Visited a small shop on my way home, because I felt like it. Rational vs. irrational mind. There are larger stores near home, why go there? Went there .. "See? No cakes. Period." Eventually found something that caught my attention. The only cake-like thing, which was on the cookie shelf. Read the contents .. "It contains rum (in addition to a lot of additives) and is not suitable for children." Bought it anyway, wondering why I would do that.

While on the bus, I realized that I could think about it this way: someone brings / offers cake, I look at the contents and start whining. Wouldn't that be, like, arrogant or something? There's cake and I should be happy about it, no matter what sort of cake.

Well, it happened that dad stopped by, and brought salad and a large chocolate cake as well. Then sister appeared with fruits and a friend of hers (stranger for me). So, all in all there were five of us, plus a cat.

Radiation tolerance

Bionerd23 on radiation tolerance:
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-woman-who-ate-chernobyl-s-apples?kwp_0=61282

Push away your fears and everything you've heard, and embrace the Zone

Cool..

Delocalized levitation

Last night I took another old exercise. Relaxed and spread the consciousness throughout the room. At first this released some of the tension in the body, produced vortices of the "dark smoke" as well as flashes of light (might have been light in the astral or something). then at some moment I realized I was delocalized without a sense of body. I could hear sounds from other rooms, apartments very well. Noticed that there was no astral noise. No vibrations or sounds from leaving the body, no detectable singularities or memory-holes (didn't fall asleep), either. In addition, I felt weightless. As I slowly gathered together into the body again, gradually the weight came back.

There are a couple of things about this that I want to determine with further experiments:

1. Does the body also dematerialize when I become delocalized?
2. Does the body levitate while I'm feeling weightless and descending back into the bed?

Well, this

1. sounds quite improbable,
2. sounds as stupid as in Castaneda's book,
3. would be awesome if it really did work like that,
4. wouldn't matter any if it really did.

Anyway, couldn't sleep too well again last night. Cat wanted to play at 3 AM, at 4 AM, 6 AM and at 7 AM (alarm, so I woke up). Although it doesn't help with my sleep, but I find it kind of cool that the cat has almost figured out how the doors work. At night he pulls the door handle. He's still a bit too young and light to actually open the door, but it's still rather annoying at night =3.

Tired

Cat.

Someday I thought: "Why cats don't put things back the way they were, after making a mess?" Then I realized they haven't been designed that way. They simply can't do that. It is their job to make chaos and mine to transform it into order again. Similarly, I'm probably stirring up chaos in the eyes of some very highly evolved energy beings and they have to clean up after me. I don't like this at all, and feel guilty for not being evolved enough. Sometimes the cat feels the same, sometimes it simply accepts that it can't do much about it (and thus, doesn't worry about it).

Woke up tired. Went to lecture .. what a yawn party that was. Tried all sorts of tricks I've had in the sleeves against sleep. Focused psi into a thin glowing filament in the central channel. With this method, I saw a very vivid image of the dot of a green laser today morning. This opened up the chakras and I realized I've been doing it wrong. Enabled the upward flow of psi. For a moment, I was no longer tired, eyesight immediately improved at least 3x. But it didn't last long. Soon I was yawning even more.

Left for the bus stop. Waited for a bus, wondering what it was that made me this tired. Found myself staring at a puddle .. "Mmm, fresh water. No, scratch that. I wonder how many bacteria are in there. Must be a lot." :: a large crow shrieked, flew over my left shoulder, swooped down on the puddle and crossed the road. :: I suspect that with my thoughts, I was creating some sort of a construct on the puddle, which the crow popped. While I thought the situation was a bit unexpected, I wasn't really startled. However, there was a girl at a distance of about 2 m so that the crow had flown through from between us. She looked at me, shocked and a bit afraid.

With the cat around, need to be careful with thoughts. He's good at telepathy and takes things literally.

Rudimentary self-analysis

Last night I noticed a flux of vibrating heat being projected out of the left hip. Barely felt it in the hip. However, my left arm was next to the hip, hot and twitching at the closest point. As I moved my left arm away from the hip, the heat and twitching decreased gradually. As I moved my left arm back, the twitching did not restart, although the heat was still being emitted there. Also observed how the lack of free-flowing psi / psi pressure in the stomach inhibited chemical reactions (stomach acid doesn't interact with food -- no wonder the digestion process is slowed down).

Yet another girl, who made me melt. I blame the same psi blockage that's causing the digestion issues too. Noticed that wherever I looked, I still happened to be looking at her. Then she sat next to me .. bitter-sweet that she left the meeting rather soon and I could properly focus again.

Anyway, there's another one, who has made me melt almost each time I've seen her .. and so for 4 or 5 years already. Once fell in love too, but at an inappropriate time and somehow managed gain control again.

So, there are people like this. Then there are people, whom I simply know. At a course meeting today met a girl again, whom I know as if we had been friends for 20 years or so. At first I thought we must have seen each-other at a few lectures or something. But as it turned out, she doesn't even speak Estonian (all bachelor and most of master courses were in Estonian). So, uh, I have no clue. Can't even remember any dreams where I might have seen her. Ah, and then there was a friend of Hyena at the gym, whom I knew as if we had been friends for at least as long. It surprised me even more that I once saw his mother, whom I also knew as if she were a neighbour (can't recall having met them).

Today there was more tension than yesterday. Four meetings, two of them I had to rush through and leave early. Some sort of info pumping problems again, which have usually ticked me off. Paid attention to what caused the anxiety. Basically, I felt cornered -- I have to do something, but I can't because I don't have enough power or control over the events. I hate it when I'm responsible for something and I have no control to fulfil the responsibility. Then I try to wiggle out of the shackles, trying to gain a feeling of control. There are two issues: if I don't take the responsibility, then it won't happen in time; if I take the responsibility, I have to be in control.

While thinking about it, I realized this is what makes the astral prison so effective. It puts the subject into a miserable state and blocks the path towards any control. On one hand, I want to become immune to this (overcome the weakness). On the other hand, not taking the responsibility isn't the answer, either.

Different path

Yesterday a part of me expressed respect towards everyone who is still climbing the hill as well as towards everyone who haven't taken up the challenge. Some time later I noticed that the part of me had given up - too much effort to continue climbing.

Today something changed. Used to feel dull and sleepy. Drank 2 mugs of cappucino + cocoa from the vending machine. This made it a bit difficult to maintain proper control of the body. Haven't used coffee for quite some time.

Weather was a bit weird too. The sky was clear and then suddenly in about 15 minutes, it was so foggy that it was difficult to see more than 10 meters. On our way back to the town, something changed. I lost a part of personality (or it became different). On my way home, I noticed that I could see things either the same way as I used to, or in a different way (through the thick overlay that I've accumulated on things with all these years).

While at the laptop, I saw several flashes of light and darkness around me (coming somewhere from behind or above the head). At the same time, there has been a certain calmness and tummo has been perhaps slightly more active.

Pleasure of radiating love

Yesterday I became aware of pleasure within the chest or upper-body in general. As I focused on it, the internal flames became hotter and I felt more floaty. It was so pleasureful that I didn't want to take a bus home. I wanted to walk. So, I did, through a path I hadn't taken previously. The path was very dark and I noticed that the intensity of the pleasure was gradually decreasing. Eventually lost track of it.

Took a daily nap yesterday, relaxing and focusing on the central channel. At the end of the nap, I tried levitation. Gradually kept becoming lighter and lighter, until a reflex thought (seemingly harmless) shot through the system and I stopped becoming lighter.

Yay

Had a successful dream last night.

I was at a classroom, studying something related to languages, I guess. The teacher was quite upset that day. She did not like the fact that pupils / students were dozing off and not doing classwork. I thought: "I better focus on the classwork, so she wouldn't yell at me." Well, about a minute into the classwork, my textbook suddenly disappeared. Then the teacher leaped at me, yelling that I don't even have the textbook open, so I'm definitely slacking off and just pretending I'm working on the exercises.

I could not find the textbook, so I didn't have anything to say to prove her wrong. So, I just bowed and thanked her. This action seemed sort of forced. Though, with a few seconds I managed to strengthen the detachment and forgive her sincerely. In the end, sincerely hugged her for a moment.

The class was happy about my progress. We looked for the textbook from everywhere but just couldn't find it.

Have been having some issues with energy knots and blockages in the stomach recently. So, I've purposefully had the energy leak, to help release the blockages.

Helloween

Really strange dreams last night. At the summerhouse, people delivered dead pigs to the aunt who's a vet. Not for her to cure them, but for her to qualify the meat. Well, ok .. except that in the dream, the pigs had started rotting (already with poisonous fungus growing on them and all) and there was no end to those dead pigs. The dream probably had some of its roots in her visiting our place during the weekend.

Another dream, I was rowing on a creek with a tiny boat. The boat was so small that I barely fit there and was sort of wondering how it managed to float me at all.

In the last dream, I was telling sister and father about the cool Halloween event that took place at the workplace the previous evening. It really was amazing .. though, way too many people were participating.

Bird-moon omen of freedom and power

Left early from an exciting meeting at work, to catch a bus for a lecture in the town. Let myself fall asleep in the bus. As I left the bus, my mind cleared out (became thoughtless) and I managed to walk for almost 15 minutes in the town, without thoughts. Cool. After that, I noticed the familiar tendency of people sitting next to me at the lecture, or standing next to me in the bus.

While on my way home yesterday evening, the Moon caught my attention. There were two jet trails crossing over the Moon. The trails glowed as they were lit by moonlight. What made the sight extraordinary .. one of the trails was curved around the Moon and overall the image reminded me of a bird with the Moon on its back. Wind shifted the trails a bit more, so it looked more and more bird-like. Thought I should take a photo, but couldn't get a good perspective (buildings or trees in the way). Thought I would take a photo at home, from the balcony, but the image was already gone once I arrived home.

While on my way home today evening, I saw girls taking photos of Moon shining through a thin pattern of clouds .. in the background of the central square in the old town.

Last night's dreams weren't special. I guess I didn't relax enough before falling asleep. Anyway, a central theme was (extra-)carefully going down spiral stairs and exploring all the floors of a huge school / university building with white walls. On the first floor, a lady was selling sweets. I stopped there to choose something. Outside the building, there were parking slots with charging capabilities, for super-cars. Someone, who left the building with me, asked if I would park mine there or something. Didn't have a super-car and found having one ridiculous. However, the technology and design of the parking slot + charging system looked awesome. As if taken from a science fiction block-buster or somesuch.

Pretzel on the oven

Sometimes I find the limitations of information throughput a bit frustrating. Can't get enough data per second with reading. Also, a few hours of info-packed reading gets me tired. Low data rate is one of the key reasons why I rarely watch TV. I prefer browsing the web, reading texts and watching still images because that's way faster.



Had a nice dream last night. There was a master, with whom we walked through my internal realm towards the old barn building.

We went past huge trees. I pointed at a birch with a trunk of perhaps 4 m in diameter and 20 m in height. I said I would really want to climb a tree like that. That the tree was perfect, except for the fact that its top was cut (I didn't like that). There was also an Ash tree (I think), which would've been ideal if it wasn't growing at an angle (didn't like that either).

Anyway, we reached the old barn building. The building had two floors but the second floor symbolized multiple layers on top of each other. So, I could sort of pick any layer that I would be at, while remaining on the second floor. At the centre of the floor, there was a rectangular hole and down in there, there was an old oven. Next to the hole, there was a pile of dirt / dust. The master climbed on top of the roof. He told me to take the dirt and cover the hole with it. I hesitated. Also, I found it a bit too dark in there. So, I started walking around, imagining light switches (none actually existed) and flipping them. Master asked: "Are you going to do it or not?" So, I went back and found that it was no longer dark. Covered the hole. Master told me to pay attention to the temperature changes in the dirt cover, in order to find energy leaks. I wasn't feeling too confident in my ability to find the leaks. Missed temperature changes, as the dirt cover bulged up and was blown away (small explosion). However, I did notice that in top view, the top left corner gave away first .. so I assumed there's a leak there.

Somehow some sort of a sweet pretzel appeared on the oven. The oven was so hot that oil and sugar on the plate around the pretzel were boiling rapidly. While adjusting something in/on the oven, I took the pretzel off and put it back several times. I think the pretzel served as an indicator of some sort. I think the master was no longer there .. now sister had appeared out of nowhere. Anyway, after some time, I considered the pretzel fully baked (perhaps even slightly over-baked). I put it away from the oven and went outside, to signal the others (aunts). They were on the fields, picking berries for something to put on the pretzel or something.

This classifies as a typical dream of the internal flame. Though, in the waking life, I'm embarrassed about my lack of attention, concentration when there was a spiritual high priority task at hand.

Crown of detachment

Multiple resets of the celibacy counter last night.

Also, recently I've been having the familiar tickling as well as some pain on top of the scalp surface. There have also been pain releases in other parts of the body (shoulders, lungs, feet, stomach, etc.). The crown has made a popping sound for a few times. The cloud of internal heat is sometimes there, sometimes it's not. Sometimes heat jets out of the body.

Recently I've been focusing on detachment. Some of the daily problems were difficult to let go .. kept coming back.

Star control spray?

Rather shallow dreams. However, there were a few interesting encounters.

It happened three times in total (at random times) that an entity of some sort penetrated my dream bubble and flew through the top left corner of the corridor. The entity looked white (sometimes maybe golden, too). In the dreams I was quite puzzled as to what could be distorting the realm in such a way without interacting with it (passed through the walls, and no-one else saw it). Yay, I think this is indicative of dreams disintegrating.

In one of the dreams, I was at a lecture or something. The lecturer asked me a question, wondering if I was able to figure it out or not. I thought for long and couldn't figure it out. All the others got really bored, waiting for my answer. Here's the question: "When artificial stars are formed, their energy output is controlled with a specific compound/molecule. What is it?" I had several ideas, but none of them seemed correct. Well, not exactly a bright mind, eh? =D

Golden lights

A few days ago, daily events were really confusing. Tens of meetings and telecons creeped up on me, filling up several days. At some moment, I thought: "Leave me alone!" The next morning, all meetings got cancelled (people realized they had posted on the wrong dates, people forgot meetings, etc.) .. except one, and in the midst of confusion, I forgot about that one (and went to work instead). Also, there was one day during which nobody understood me. I ended up posting a lot of references and citing my own words, but still it was as if they couldn't see my words at all.

Came to visit grandparents, to help with grandpa's new book. The gate has a code lock and occasionally I've worried about remembering the code (I use it so rarely). When I've been with someone else who remembers the code, I have not been able to remember it. However, when I've been alone and without any source to check the code from, I've somehow managed to enter the correct code on first attempt. Although the code just popped into mind again, I was still worried about whether or not it would work. Well, as it turned out, the code was correct but the lock was broken and I still had to call grandparents to open the gate for me.

It might be about 1 month or perhaps even 1.5 months of celibacy .. and I'm having digestion problems again, coupled with active sexual energy. Semi-consciously I let anti-celibacy material creep into my dreams last night. I hope this will pass without any serious energy leaks.

Noticed golden lights above the head for a few times today morning. Felt the familiar distortions of psi field around the head again as well.

It's starting to feel like the blockages are gradually dissolving while internal heat is slowly increasing.

Dream-practice in stick fighting

Some thoughts before falling asleep inspired me to practice stick fighting in a lucid dream. It was a bit difficult to maintain the form of the sticks and myself. The sticks became a bit too .. elastic, and I tilted off while trying to keep my back straight. This I found quite surprising. Obviously, my movements were out of balance, which caused the precession (so that I was looking more and more towards the ceiling). Still quite strange, as I've usually either floated around or walked on the floor.

On the pk forum, limpidprogress shared a documentary on Wim 'Iceman' Hof:

It's the best documentary I've seen of him so far. Started trying his pranayama exercises. I tried something similar a while ago, but for some reason, stopped.

A couple of attempts and I got my breath holding time from less than 1 min up to 2 min. Also, some additional internal heat has come up (some already did just by watching the video :).

Nervous psi?

It's the third time in the past couple of weeks that I've fixed headphones. The cat loves chewing on swiggly wires of all sorts .. headphone cables are exceptionally tasty. Would be nice if the cat would develop more respect towards cables, because sometimes there are a lot of volts and amps going through.

Interestingly enough, I put the headphones on to test them and noticed the familiar wobbliness of psi around the crown. The headphones have a better sound quality than my el cheapo's.

There have been a few small realizations recently. One of them was about the relationship between cat's behaviour and patterns in energy flow. It might be nervous aura that makes the cat mischievous. It's as if the cat is untying the knots of tension in the psi field. While meditating or with a clear mind, the cat becomes sleepy.

Also, during the past few days, I've noticed quite sharp cracking sounds - geisting. With this, the nervousness, stress or tension has been released.

Last night I remembered some old techniques I had been using years ago. Instead of trying to heal the field of nervousness surrounding the heart chakra, I applied focus on the environment surrounding the 3rd eye. The hot and sharp blob of nervousness moved through the throat chakra, into the head and gradually transformed while on its way. Fell asleep before it made it into the crown, though.

Had a nice dream, where I was in my inner realm again. With a friend, we climbed the thatched roof of one of the buildings. As I climbed, I told him that I've usually been afraid of climbing that particular roof, because of the way it sways around in the ever-present strong wind. Well, although it swayed around a lot, this time I actually enjoyed it. I've forgotten the rest of the dreams, though.

Happy, peaceful and powerful evening

Although the day started off in a confusing way, and I felt dazed throughout the day (difficult to apply my mind to the job at hand). Perhaps I took the weekend too easy. Doesn't matter, because from mid-day, I became happy. I still am. The evening walk home felt pretty powerful too. Merged consciousness with objects: the slightly foggy air with streetlamps, the bridge, the asphalt, those trees ..

Thank you all!

Slight fever?

Not feeling too good. It's as if I had a slight fever or something, while at the same time, the crown is a bit more active than usually.

Didn't blow any streetlamps today.

Owltwelve posted inspiring quotes from "Invisibility - Mastering the Art of Vanishing" by Steve Richards. Read that and played with the cloud a bit, which might have stirred some old stuff that could've caused the tiredness.

Shroud of darkness

Have been working long days and weekends, lectures and homework stuffed somewhere in between. Although I managed to overcome stress for some time, it has somehow creeped back.

I think (days and nights have sort of blended together) it was yesterday evening when I walked home that a streetlamp made a flash and went out. It was then that I noticed the starry sky. Looked up and stepped into the pieces of a shattered glass bottle, crushing them.

Then I think it was today that I also stepped into the pieces of a shattered glass bottle, crushing them. Today evening while walking home, I noticed a couple of streetlights going out as I walked past (started wondering why it was so dark). Started counting them and got about 5 in total. About four of them lit up again once I had gone far enough. Well .. I do enjoy the darkness, but having streetlights blow out within a radius of about 20 meters is a bit weird.

At home, I realized that actually I do enjoy working in a quick response development team. Previously I have acted as if I did not like it, somehow trying to get back to safe ground without responsibilities.

Some cat telepathy

Visualized swimming in cold water in pitch black darkness before falling asleep again. This visualization has helped to acquire the feel of a waving space-time. It has also caused jolts of consciousness sometimes. I really like it because it relaxes the body and mind very quickly.

Spent most of the night on some work-related stuff. Then looked outside .. "What, sunrise already?" So I went out. There was quite a wind outside, but I knew storms would be coming soon enough. Wanted to store some old stuff somewhere so that it wouldn't be broken with the wind, rain and snow. Carried a large piece of glass with a large fracture in it. Wanted to store it in one of the sheds, which I found to be close to falling apart as well.

There was some sort of an entity next to me. Asked if the building could still put up against the storms. They answered: "So far everything that you've built, has held up to now."

Climbed the building and stored things inside. The entity threw a bunch of iron hooks for me to put away in there. Put them next to a pile of long iron nails, which I found from underneath some hay.

Although everything was rusty and close to falling apart, the overall feeling of the dream was really nice and peaceful .. and the sunshine was pretty.

---

Telepathy with the cat hasn't worked too well recently. However, a few days ago it suddenly did. I wanted to brush my teeth but the cat had found his way into the sink. He tugged the bottle of liquid soap, which then fell into the sink. "Look what you did. Now how are you going to get it back there?" I thought to him. I left the bathroom and when I came back a minute later, he was still there, looking at the bottle with a sad aura. I felt sorry for what I had done and with telepathy, tried to explain that it didn't really matter - the bottle was not important.

Although it did work then, it still seems awfully difficult to explain to the cat that it's not polite to stomp on my work, play piano on the laptop keyboard, chew wires or climb up our feet. :)

Stainport

Have been missing a few cues. Rational mind has blocked illogical actions.

A few days ago the cat sped out as I opened the door to the stairway. Me: "NoOooO.o What?" The cat stopped. I carefully picked him up and transported him back indoors. Then closed the door and saw a large stain on the floor, which I did not see before. Apparently this was what the cat was sniffing. However, I found it really odd that I had not seen the stain there before .. as if it had appeared only after I had picked up the cat and closed the door. At first I thought the cat had pissed there, leaving the stain. Later when I thought about it a bit more, it seemed absurd because:

1. The stain was too big to have been caused within a second or less.
2. The cat does not piss on the floor like that.
3. The reflection of the stain indicated it was dry and had formed out of something sticky (as if someone had spilled a can of lemonade).

Since the moment that the stain appeared, everything felt slightly different .. as if I had popped from one realm into another. Well, gradually the event faded in memory and now (2 or 3 days later) I'm pretty much convinced I must have overlooked the stain as I had my attention on the cat.

Safe ground

Last night had an even more violent dream. Today I caught myself laughing at situations that were not funny. In fact, laughing was not polite at all.

Took a daily nap of about 2 hours.

I still find it a bit difficult to let go properly, especially with all those responsibilities. If it only affected me and perhaps some friends, it would be easier to let go and relax. I take things seriously when they seem to have a considerable impact on the country's economy and foreign politics. Or perhaps I'm taking these things too seriously -- perhaps even more seriously than politicians do?

Anyhow, have to somehow do all that is needed, with only barely enough time and not enough people to do it. No excuses, nothing to explain away the unforeseen delays (somehow even multiplying initial estimates by a factor of 4 or 5 wasn't enough).

There's a habit to think of the periphery of attention as something over which I have no control. For example, I like to think I have no control over the delays of the work of others: component distributors, manufacturers, etc. I love curling up on the safe ground that I've considered my area of expertise: software development. Also, spreading attention / focus on a wide area seems rather difficult for me. I mean, while I'm working on management issues, then software or electronics development seems so far out there that it takes time to get back to it again as well as the other way around. So, perhaps the widening of attention is what I need to work on? Hmm .. this actually makes sense.

Lake and bonfire

Sat on the bed, cross-legged. Cat came and slept next to me. Practised concentration a bit, until the washing machine finished. From the corner of my eyes, I saw something to my right. A small flickering source of white light. Larger than the orbs I've seen so far, though.

Pewep shared this video on the pk forum:

This inspired me to challenge my mind-blocks harder.

Behaved quite stupid in the dreams. But then again, it efficiently highlighted quite a few mind-blocks. Anyway, the dreams were a sequence of artificially generated situations that lost their "sense of reality" the moment I based my actions on them.

Blowing my nose a lot today. A few days ago, the large knot of cold psi in the chest rose up to the throat and then up to the pineal gland. This was triggered by a realization of how happy I actually am with life.

Visited a forest and had a bonfire at a lake on Saturday. A lot of quality discussions. The nature was pretty, but the people seemed suspicious around there. Were they suspicious of us, or were we suspicious of them..?

Had a strong jolt of consciousness there.

Just .. dreams

Interesting dreams .. being on a boat with stormy water has been the most recent recurring theme. Pretty nature scenery as well.

Last night / morning, though, I found something interesting. Usually numbers, texts in the dreams are unclear and ever-changing. However, in this dream that was not the case. I was reading a book .. and doing so for a fairly long time (half an hour?). During that time, I browsed the pages and came back to the same page to read it again and cite it. The text was very persistent and there did not seem to have been any changes whatsoever. However, the book itself was a bit strange .. the sentences sort of made sense but seemed out of this world (alien logic). It was like a children's fiction book ingrained with existential subjects.

Ah, one more thing. Sister got a cat. However, in a dream the cat had a human-like form. He could talk, but only to a very limited degree. Anyway, the cat seems to be a bit frustrated that he's so small compared to us. He can't see what we are doing, eating for most of the time .. which is why he tries to climb us or climb other things to get closer to the eye level. During the first couple of days, he seemed to have been listening to telepathy. After that I guess he no longer cared much about we had to say about his actions.

Wrong door

Had a dream today morning that stood out. I was at some sort of a workplace that once again I don't recognize .. minding my business. Then someone approached me and started talking about some research I had done. Or at least, he claimed I had done but I didn't know nothing about it. Although I have been interested in those fields ever since birth, I was convinced I had never had the time to deal with them .. yet. This guy gave me a pack of papers, which he claimed I had written and sincerely thanked me for that. They were thorough studies of ancient civilizations, ancient languages and the remnants of their philosophy and technology. Figured I could put the papers into the safe box that used to be in one of the offices. Opened the door of the room that was supposed to contain the safe box, as far as I knew. A lady was sleeping there .. apparently the offices had changed within the years. She said that generally nobody was allowed to enter, but that there was an exception for me. Well, I sort of didn't want to know anything about any exceptions and left right away anyway, because the safe box was no longer there. Found it in the next room down the corridor. It looked as if nobody had used the room for years. Opened the safe box, put the papers on top of other papers that were in there and closed it again. One thing that occurred to me was that before locking the papers away, I should've perhaps read and memorized everything that was written there. That didn't happen though, as the dream vanished right after. Weird behaviour pattern that I would have to put the papers away somewhere, instead of learning the content (and perhaps gaining totality).

Busy times, but this has helped me realize how long work hours with sharp focus and lack of sleep have usually contributed to spiritual progress. The more challenging it is, the more concentration is needed to do the job .. but in principle, everything can be done (all situations have at least one way in and at least one way out). So, I've been practising the habit of only focusing on the necessary minimum for solving the issues at hand (no place for worries, no place for judgements or other emotional mindstuff, just the task and the mind as a generic tool).

Time for detachment practice?

Found a lecturer (religious aspects of science), whose intelligence is so far out there that it's difficult to grasp everything that he says. The lectures are full of hidden hints and references .. and he talks fast, too. He is 60, he has read a lot and he has (or at least used to have) absolute memory. Although he criticized some people whom he had met and who had used the term "energy" incorrectly, he made a lot of interesting statements. For one, he said that the arguments in favor of OBE are usually better than those against it. I was baffled. He also said that science does not seek truth, it has never really succeeded in finding it. However, science has resulted in a lot of practical applications.

Well, there's another lecturer (bioethics) also, whom I like. Though, he doesn't quite pack the information density and practices demagogy on students during the seminars.

At first I kind of assumed they were similar. Well, I was wrong. Shall be quite exciting in terms of ego vs. rational mind vs. spirituality. On one hand, I'm excited that there's someone that intelligent, who shares the view on quite a lot of stuff. On the other hand, I feel the urge to prove what I've come to consider the truth. On yet another hand or some other limb, I would rather live it instead of blabbing about it, trying to convince others that it's possible to live like that.

Releasing tension

Well, about a week ago my celibacy counter reset. Apparently I had formed tension in the body again which, in combination with cold, drained quite a bit of that stored energy.

A couple of nights ago I went to bed early and produced a lot of sweat.

Synchronicity, empathy, telepathy and precognition have been pretty nice recently. Can't do much about all of the messages that arrive, but it's still quite valuable. Today morning I met with a colleague and I found something in him that I had not been aware of, wouldn't have even guessed (though, he's all secretive and I don't know him very well). Then today I took a detour around the town, while on my way to an evening lecture. During the detour, I recognized a place from some old dreams as well as had some vague "memories" surfacing from the medieval ages. Ah, one more thing - totally different people, with no common context are telling the same things. I wonder what's that about .. the puzzle hasn't come together just yet.

Last night I tried to let go the best I could. At some moment, there was something alike a small explosion in the head as one of the blockages cleared out. Might've become dangerous if I had maintained the tension for longer.

The past days have been covered in ego stuffs .. catching the mind on some strange habitual patterns that don't even make sense to the rational mind, far less to the more spiritual mind.

Vagabond

Joined in to help with the cutting sea buckthorn bushes for the weekend. Being in the nature felt so good. There was an interesting dude there, also helping with pruning the bushes and collecting berries. As it turned out, he has been living out of the system for years. He travels around the world alone and helps people here and there. Just recently he had come from Italy back to Estonia without money, without a tent, coat, sleeping bag or anything ..

I seriously envy people who are able to do that. It needs quite a confidence in one's personal power to manifest everything they need. Awesome.

Concentration

Practised concentration for about 1 hour a few evenings ago. Every time the thoughts wandered off and stuck to something, I looked at it, thought "This is not me," and focused on what I thought was closer to this blob of energy that is me. Finished it off with a few minutes of Trataka on the mirror.

The next night my mind cleared up on its own, used it for brushing the energy field. The concentration practice has also improved tummo.

Last night I went to bed at around 0:00 AM and woke up at 1:30 AM, quite certain it was alarm-time (7 AM). With effort, I managed to fall asleep again. Met a strange person in my dreams. First of all, his appearance was weird, and then his interests / hobbies were weird too. He had 3 totally different faces. Each time I looked at him, he had a different face on. Two of them were human. The third one had a normal left eye but a totally black right eye (reference to the black eyed children phenomena) and bleak skin on the right side of the face. Some sort of a hybrid? His hobby seemed to have been sewing and designing clothes, judging by how he looked at and criticized my cheap and ragged pants (worth 60 cents in the dream :). However, he had gotten into my dream as a student interested in the university space project. These two interests did not and still don't add up very well, in my opinion. Anyway, I treated him like a normal person. He had to leave for his own dreams pretty soon.

I think I've become a fan of Final Fantasy. Well, I've known for 10+ years that I would really like it .. provided that I ever played something from the series. It has usually been ridiculously expensive and demanding on the hardware side. Although according to the reviews, I got the worst of the series (XIII-2) with a discount, it's still among the best games I've ever played. It crashes pretty often due to some thread racing / memory corruption issues with Steam Cloud sync. Also, its random combat encounters are awful. Not a fan of dull hack and slash at about every 10 meters of the map. However, previously I haven't seen any games that have managed to portray mysticism as well as FF does it. Like the first video game series that actually utilizes fantasy. Also, I love how gameplay and storyline change throughout the game. What is more, their texture art, modeling and animation work baffled me. Amazing piece of art that provides inspiration for science, ancient civilizations, psychokinesis and spiritual practices.

The pond

A couple of nights ago I focused on the internal flame and had it run through the body, melting blockages on the way. Though, later that night I somehow managed to reset my celibacy counter.

On Thursday, I watched the last couple of Naruto episodes. Although the comments for the episodes were rather discouraging, I found these fillers to be among the best episodes in the series. Tenten was trying to break free from the illusion and save her friends .. but forgot her goal after saving the imposter friends in the illusion. So deep and life-like.

Last night I noticed that this glow, of what I think are biophotons, also surrounds objects that have been in contact with the body (clothes, sheets, blankets). This is why it's difficult to tell things apart - almost everything is glowing.

Final Fantasy influence on the dreams.
Slept a lot during the day. In the dreams I visited a sort of magic pond again. I was walking along the channel, until I noticed sand drifts getting larger and larger. There was someone there between the drifts, who asked me to join. We arrived at the pond, although I wasn't planning to go exploring. We waited for the sun to set, and then started taking off clothes to jump in. One of my socks fell into the water through a gap in the walking platform. Quickly picked it up as it was gradually becoming translucent. Said: "No, I'm not going to let the socks become astral, I need them again later." Put the clothes farther away from the pond, onto a large metal gear that was on the sand, just around the corner. What's interesting about the gear, I knew it had been placed there (a sort of anchor) by dad's uncle who died a few years ago. Jumped in with 3 other people. I was a bit scared, though, and did not want to dive into the center as it would pull me into another realm and it would be difficult to get back again. So, I swam a few circles around the center and jumped out of the pond. I know that I have gone through the center before, at least once. The center of the pond is deep, powerful (basically a two-way portal) as well as dangerous (random entities may appear from the depths at any time). The shallow edges of the pond are not as dangerous, but the water is quite thick of strange life forms of different sort. There were fish, which during the day looked normal, but became colorful and started glowing in the dark. Anyway, I was worried about the other 3 (whom I didn't know), who had jumped into the center and hadn't come back. Hmm.. one thing that so far seems to have been common to the dreams with the pond is the wall around it, which shadows it from sunlight. Though, if I remember correctly, I've come out of the pond during the day once.

Haven't been feeling very well in sync with this reality today.

Tire-d

This traveling around and exploring in the dreams doesn't seem to be refreshing the body much. Although I've been sleeping a lot, I've been feeling rather tired every day. Took a nap for a couple of hours after coming from work again. This time I tried to rest (and perform Hatha yoga) in the dreams. It seems to have helped. Another recurring issue seems to be dehydration .. need to drink a lot more (but not coffee or cocoa or stuff of that sort) .. juice (but nothing too sour) or water that helps to keep me more awake. Meditative state of being helps too, but only for as long as I remain in it.

During the nap, I remember father leaving for Saaremaa. About 15 minutes ago, sister said she will go to Saaremaa for a couple of days.

Also worth noting, I think. Sister coughed and went into the bathroom. I could feel her fever.

Also also worth noting, I think. Several colleagues seemed to have a hard time with the existential question: "What day is it?" One of them said it took her a while to realize it was Friday, then about 10 seconds later, she asked another colleague to go to work together tomorrow. That sounded really awkward.

A bit floaty

Past few days have been interesting.

About a week ago, I focused on the central flame and the sound and internal wind that it made. It was interesting, how it consisted of a lot of different frequencies and depending on the vibration that I focused on, the sounds were amplified / brought into foreground. Played with it for quite a while.

A couple of nights ago, I focused on top of the head, because focusing on the tip of the nose or central flame no longer worked (couldn't do it properly, for some reason). The next day I woke up feeling very floaty. Haven't had a deep sleep since then, I guess (simply not feeling that tired). Yesterday I felt tired alright, but in such a way that the mind relaxed into spontaneous meditation.

Today my mood was a bit shaky. Also, empathy / telepathy, geisting, manifestation have become more weird during the past few days.

No photos

A few evenings ago I performed pranayama and looked down at the body. Compared to the surroundings, there was a lot of yellowish biophoton noise surrounding it. This faintly glowing cloud extended quite far from the skin (at least some 30 cm in radius, around arms and feet). I don't think I've seen it with regular eyes this clearly before.

My habit of searching for a camera and trying to take photos of amazing scenery in the dreams is ruining it. This morning in a dream I was hiking around in the forest somewhere (between Poland and Germany, I think). Haven't physically been there yet. Anyway, waved bye to some people with a car and started walking towards a place I knew had to be in a certain direction. I had walked there once before. There was a fork in the road and although I was supposed to pick the right branch, I peeked left. In the distance, the left road crossed a railroad. The way that the morning sun was reflecting from the tracks .. I wanted to take a photo of that. Quickly the vividness of the surroundings faded and I woke up. Actually, the same happened to the dream in the previous post. I tried to take photos of the white ... whatever it was and those lights in the distance. Should really remember not to take photos, no matter how amazing a scenery.

A portal of some sort

Recently I've found it rather difficult to maintain constant focus on pranayama and vajrayana. So I've been bouncing between stress and strong internal heat. There have been some familiar breakthroughs, though. Realized that the depressive mood was an old mind-pattern being released. It dissolved once I let it go. It was then that the sun came out, gradually clouds crumbled and the sky cleared up. This happened while I was waiting for the chicken that I had put in the oven. With the new energy that was released with the mind-pattern, I played with some water droplets on the oven window. Moved them left, right or stopped them from running down the glass.

Dreams have been quite interesting for about a week or so. A couple of nights ago I appeared in a town in a foreign country. The town was on a mountain side. A bit higher on the mountain, there was a large Midas-like gateway that looked really exciting. Wandered around the town restaurants and found some stone stoves and ovens interesting .. crawled around in them & stuff. Air chutes, chimneys become really puzzling while without a proper body. Once the sun had set, a group of us gathered somewhere in the town and left through a gate. I think I thought it was a normal gate leading onto a bridge, until I paid more attention to the surroundings. It was quite dark and somehow I had to look in one direction for quite a while in order to see what's there. We were walking above an infinitude of some sort of white ... (reminded of mountain ridges or a corral reef-like structure of salt). At first I thought the whole town stood at the top of a mountain with steep cliffs. Having previously explored the town a bit, I had not seen any sharp cliffs like that. Also, there was this sense of fractal infinitude in everything, which has been very rare in my dreams. After looking around at the white ... for some time, I started to wonder about those clusters of lights that I saw at a distance. Well, about the lights I only remember that they were not what I had thought they were. I had thought they were other towns, or houses or something. Woke up.

On second thought, La Gruta de las Maravillas in Aracena might be the closest match to the structures beyond the gateway.

Last night I had a dream where a colleague was present, whom I've very rarely seen in dreams. He wanted to show me his friend's place. His friend worked on special effects, much like himself. Well .. it was a mansion with interesting solutions in architecture and interior design. They showed me some of the tech, which was amazing but was not real (noticed inconsistencies due to dreaming).

The next dream I had a big house, which was quite cluttered with boxes. Wanted to open the window to let some fresh air in.

Visualization: shining and weightless

Practised some Vajrayana last night. It affected the dreams in a nice way, I think. Dreams of first-person puzzles of climbing around and looking for secret areas.

Did not today morning and afternoon, which resulted in a backlash of stress and tension in the body. Noticed some strange effects.

In the lab I somehow managed to hit my right knee hard against the table while trying to step past a chair, I guess. I found it strange that it did not hurt at all, and somehow it looked and felt as if the steel beam had elastically bent around the knee and then back. Interesting.. ..

A colleague provided a lift to town. ::A medium-sized moth slams into the display while writing this:: Walked a bit with his daughter, discussing work and school stuff. There was a sudden change / jolt in the energy field and to her right, two cars crashed into each other. I said: "I wonder if that left a dent." However, it was evident that she had not noticed anything .. it was as if in her world nothing like that had happened. Even more strange was the fact that she didn't even hear I said anything. Realized it was my semi-subconscious design. While writing this down, it reminds me of the dream where she was driving his father's van and I was observing the field-of-view / limits of her creation.

While waiting for a bus, noticed a man that walked past me. Energy around him was red. Very red. I wouldn't say I see energy but he just stood out.

This incident brought me back to practising Vajrayana more. Visited the gym and noticed an effect right away. For the first time, people greeted me. One of the ladies seemed to be behaving differently.