Ghost-tap

Awkward bus trips.

Today I accidentally took bus 11 instead of 1. In addition to being the wrong bus, it missed a stop and just stopped at a random corner. I wasn't the only one confused. Shrugged, and decided to walk home - had been feeling tired and it was a nice and quiet evening. While crossing a bridge, I was worried that there was someone behind me and wanted to get past me. I walked too fast for them to get past, and too slow for them to walk with ease. Checked the shadows but didn't spot anyone behind me. Eventually stopped and looked over my left shoulder (typically I look over my right shoulder). At that moment, I felt a tap on my right shoulder. I turned around to verify that there was nobody there .. no footsteps, nothing. The tap on the shoulder was not a normal tap. It felt like a highly localized spasm or something - as if something tapped through the skin, right on the nerves.

Clairvoyant colleague

She has clairvoyant and precognitive experiences daily. Apparently not only that but she also experiences geisting in the form I never have. An electric kettle switching on by itself, kitchen silverware rattling, garbage bins jumping, etc.

I'm inspired and impressed. Somehow it still seems as if she's a friend of Mom, though, she said she doesn't know her. They would chat for hours :).

Very exciting to discuss the weird. Unfortunately, Steve Richard's books made her consider studying English. In other words - tough to read.

S02E21

Oh my, watched S02E21 - The Calusari. Others' mileage may vary, but for me that was creepy. One of the few episodes that have been creepy so far. Similar to "The Exorcist", which I also used to find scary. It used to .. at least before seeing this:

Lava Floor?

1.5 more nights with pretty scenery at the summerhouse.

Last night I stumbled into a gang. In the dreams, ofc. Started out at a museum. Looked at old photos and music albums. Eventually got absorbed by one of the photos. Have any of you seen Uncle Bob painting with a lawnmower? That's what happened. The guys had a huge fan, which these guys used to blow spray paint onto a large canvas (a wall, I think). I walk past all this action and then turn around. At some point, my dream was interrupted by the fact that the ground caught fire. Retreated. Found a blanket, with which I extinguished the fire. Retreated further .. ended up in a weird building with red brick walls. There were at least 2-3 fireplaces and/or ovens or stoves in each room. All rooms had wooden floors that caught fire. I think I mopped the floor in my mind, which made it less flammable. I could see the waves of heat / hot air rising from the floor but at least it wasn't all in flames anymore. With curiosity, I took a closer look at the floor, touched it and deduced that there was an abnormal level of electrostatic charge on the floor - as if walking / sitting on a high voltage supply. "That explains the spontaneous combustion," I thought.

Facepalm since it's "just a dream".

Just after overcoming the most tedious phase of the illness, a wisdom tooth started rising again. This is not the first time it has happened like this. Thus, I guess it has some kind of an inversely proportional relationship to stress.

Cat-healed

Caught cold on Friday. Strangely enough, I didn't feel even nearly as cold as I have previously (without getting ill). Here's what I learned from it:

A very crude sketch of the Feng Shui.

• Avoid cluttering the foot of the bed. So far I haven't taken Feng Shui too seriously but there was a huge difference whether I had that old printer at the foot or not. I don't think I would have gotten ill without it being there for a couple of days.
• Sometimes I need to get ill in order to release inner stress. Prior healing attempts have been far less productive.
• Cats heal their human pets by curling up right next to the problematic region (in my case, right against the back). During their healing procedure, they repetitively clean themselves (lick their pawns) - this way stale energy doesn't become dormant in their body. One spot healed, the cat moves to the next and lays down cleaning again. As a generalization I guess they're pretty good at healing issues located below the throat.
• Contorting the body can efficiently open the channels and aid in cleansing the body. Took some weird pose and the previously closed left nostril opened up without having to blow my nose. My left arm had a periodic mild pain. The pose also involved bending the left arm behind my back, with the index finger touching the location of the throat chakra on the back. This resolved the pain in the arm by making it act as an additional source for the throat chakra (bypassing the heart chakra that was still a bit cluttered). The flow of energy through the arm and up the head was strong enough to be felt. It was strong enough to crank open the third eye in perhaps a minute or so.

Very vivid and calm dreams last night. Couldn't just sit back and relax while enjoying the scenery (quiet spring morning at the summerhouse). There were a lot of mosquitoes. Although I had a blanket with me, I thought it wasn't enough to block them. So I went indoors and had a chat with one of the many anonymous aunts.

Today I felt way more alive than I have throughout the past couple of years. Strange ideas, absurd humour, ability to focus while surrounded by chaos - now that's the way I used to see myself. There's still a lot to clean but it looks promising.

Geistbin

Had a chat with the psychic colleague on our way from bus stop to work. She was puzzled as to how someone could appear somewhere else. Described my bilocation experience and a couple of OBEs which seemed related.

After lunch, she sent me an e-mail. Her office looked as if someone had kicked the garbage bin .. with litter all over the floor. She wondered if I had somehow caused it. That's one hell of a geist, if she wasn't pulling my leg and that really happened. I haven't seen anything like that, except at home where the cat has played with the garbage bin for packaging.

Cookiehunt

The X-Files haven't affected the dreams much yet. However, while walking to the bus stop through the tunnel of darkness I did notice that after 2.5 seasons it's starting to have an effect (especially the voodoo crap). I felt weird. Not scared or anything, but it felt as if I didn't belong there. On the bus, the darkness also felt different. Somehow it felt more powerful, but at the same time it felt as if it all came with a warning sign "keep out". Remembered the consequences from prior experiences where I have tried manifesting something for fun (usually ended up as an overpowered disaster). "Not this time," I decided.

Had a good intuition for finding an R-kiosk. Used to be everywhere but now they're nowhere to be found. The last one that I knew was replaced with a coffee booth last year. Anyway, walked somewhere random, then looked around and followed a random guy. He went around a corner .. and there it was.

Today at a shop I thought I would buy cookies for change (I haven't bought any for a while, I swear). Anyway, I stood in front of the shelves, wondering which ones to buy. I've tried almost all of them. And I don't want any of the exceptionally sweet ones. Programmed the psi field to pick one, and then expanded it to cover the shelves in full length (15 meters?). Though, just before I had managed to sweep the full length with psi, a package of cookies tipped and fell on the floor. Slowly walked to it and picked it up. Looked up to determine the place it had fallen from, but didn't see any other packages like it. There were similar ones but I guess it must have been the last of its kind. Actually just prior to picking it up, some dude came to enjoy their hunt for cookies .. and said "Dear Lord". Didn't get what he meant or why he said that, except for having seen the lonely pack of cookies lying on the floor. Mayhaps he felt sorry for the cookies?

Conspiracies

Last night in the dreams I cleaned an attic of my stuff. There was still quite a lot of cleaning left.

There have been a few witchcraft-related posts popping up on Facebook recently. Read an interview from last year that I had enqueued for later. It ended with references to a SERN (intentional) sacrifice. Googled that for some time, and then started watching yet another X-Files episode (perfect before bed, right?). The X-Files episode was about satanic ceremonies with sacrifice (S02E14). Same thing - a ceremony, then a storm.

Thanks mom!

Had a chat with mom yesterday.

Mom: How is your meditation going?
Me: Haven't meditated. There are always so many other things that have to be done.

Regardless of being tired, I decided to try and meditate a bit before sleep. As soon as I had taken the pose, there was energy rising up the spine. It felt really good. Observed this from 3rd perspective. At some moment I realized that I no longer sensed the bed I was sitting on. Re-focused on where I started from, opened the eyes, stretched and checked the clock. A nice 30 min of meditation.

There's always at least 30 min if not an hour that can be stolen from sleep time. Meditation is more effective than sleep anyway.

Flashbacks

Receiving and sending a lot of packages.
Remembering something. Got to practice digital painting again.

Today on the bus to work, I remembered two images from unknown time ago. Trying to extract info from the feelings that accompanied the images.

Not sure if this is related to playing Alien: Isolation, or related to a few recent discussions related to metamaterials and optics.

Huge beige-walled structure

It looks futuristic with its smooth vertical edges and corners. Horizontal edges are sharp. There's no roof, just walls, rectangular archways and bridges. The surface looks beige, somewhat rugged but it's not stone. It has strong horizontal lines. The walls aren't hollow - they're full of technology. At specific times some tall beings gather there. For most of the time, the structure is empty, collecting dust / small-grained sand. The beings are quiet, they don't talk with sounds.

Computer

An image of a black rock-like structure. It seems as if the image is zoomed in a bit (with a blurred background). There are small blobs of (dust?) moving around. The structure consists of horizontal layers of slightly different shapes. There's a feeling of reverence towards this structure, if handled at all, it is to be handled carefully. Not because it's fragile but because it's powerful. There are a few symbols related to the image (both on the image as well as not on the image - like a non-transparent overlay that doesn't occlude the image). The symbols are all surrounded by white squares with black outlines.

Other

There's something about this guy's art on pixiv. Some of the images trigger feeling that's a bit similar to the images I "remembered".

Other than that, today morning I happened on the bus with a cosmologist. Asked his take on the finite vs. infinite universe debate. He had somewhat similar ideas, with a somewhat different perspective. Realized that within an infinite multiverse soup, the assumption of balance doesn't have to hold. And here I thought that already with that assumption there's a lot of possibilities.

Missed a bus back to town. Saw the bus stop at the bus stop and without blinking, turned around (I was 1 min or 1.5 min too late) and walked the kilometer back. Would've caught the next bus for sure, unless the cosmologists hadn't picked me up. Listened to their internal discussion and wondered if any of that would spawn additional thoughts. Started to wonder if (assuming a dense universe) it's possible to determine whether the universe has fixtures. Based on an old Kevin Smith Show interview about Jerry Wills' experience through the Aramu Muru gateway, the universe was in a white room, fastened with strands that had lights moving back and forth. If that's the case and it's a finite universe (should be easier to create in lab), then a dense universe should have internal stresses (and thus, non-uniformity in the growth of the universe). Not sure if the current measurements already disagree with this or not, but in any case the assumption of uniformity should not be made (I hope cosmologists have taken that into account). They were discussing the redshift.

OBE with shadows

Took a nap while trying to maintain the visualization of the room. Visualized detaching from the body and moving around the room. Noted that this time I saw my shadow. But it was not a regular shadow, as it reoriented itself in such a way that it always shone on the body. Found some kind of a specific attachment that I let go. After that I felt myself start swinging within the body, gradually lifted out and automatically flew to the spot of visualization. Descended to the floor, hitting the knees into the floor. Good it's not the physical body, because it would've hurt. Wondered if I would want to meditate or roam about. Decided to roam about. Looked at the spot where my body should've been. I thought I saw the body but it seemed to have been under the blanket (which in reality it wasn't). Tried to enforce the vividness of the environment by focusing on it. The balcony window caught my attention, but I refocused on the room. It became rather dark (it's the evening, after all). Everything became dark for a second and then a bit brighter again (as if I had risen quickly with a poor blood circulation). Heard sister move into the living room. The door was slightly open (closed in reality). Moved into the living room, where I saw sister laying down on the couch (didn't happen in reality). Kept trying to get her attention by calling her name (typically hasn't worked very well in OBE), while moving across the room. She didn't notice any of that. Reached the window and noticed that I still had the shadow, pointing towards sister. Tried to keep far enough so that it wouldn't reach her. Pushed hands against the glass, intending to leave hand prints on the window. Body parts were there but they were kind of dull. Right hand was almost usable, but the left hand was clenched and it was difficult to move the fingers. Wondered why the left hand was degenerate. Voluntarily popped back, after which I experienced this swinging sensation again, eventually merged and woke up. I had left my left hand under the pillow, clenched. Sister was not in the living room, she was in her bedroom.

Anyway, haven't had a conscious OBE for some time. This time I noticed a few differences:

1. Methods of exit and re-entry were different.
2. The concept of the clinging shadow, after having previously witnessed the layers of the body.
3. Inherited the shape of the body (clenched left hand).

Too bad it was a different realm.

Survival Horror in the Dark Hallway

It's cool how radical changes occur with a new year. Stormy autumn weather before (actually, very similar to Midsummer's Eve), and snowy winter after. But it's not only the weather - everything feels completely different. Sister is suddenly moving furniture around, digging parents' old books and stuff. An amazing amount of occult books, by the way. Sister also glanced at Mom's diary and stumbled upon an entry "The Alchemy of Immortality".

---

Today I somehow managed to seriously scare someone without even trying. No screams or anything. I was crouching in a dark hallway, untying shoelaces when some dude waltzed in from around the corner. He stopped, and in a second he asked "Hi, how are you doing?" (calm voice) Me: "I'm fine, thank you." I wouldn't have been able to tell he was frightened, if he hadn't said that. Him: "I was quite scared for a moment." Me: "Okay." <- what kind of an answer is that? Anyways, he entered the first free room (all have glass windows), switched on the light and started praying on the patch of fake grass. I didn't quite connect his customs with religion nor country of origin, but I thought perhaps he's from India (though there was no accent). Having glanced at this holy act for a second, I decided not to enter the room (was gonna have a meeting in that same room). Went to the toilet, instead.

From my perspective, the whole experience was slightly awkward.

From his perspective, it could've been pretty creepy. He's about to enter the hallway to enter the office, which is the first room straight across the hallway. There's something very wrong about the hallway but he can't quite put his finger on it. Then suddenly he sees a dark figure in peripheral vision, just a couple of feet to his left. Some really scary background music starts playing, and his heart is pounding in a chaotic rhythm. He freezes on the spot, and slowly turns his head to the left, towards this creature. The creature has no face, just hair .. and there's something (err .. shoelaces!) wiggling out from the shadows. Bwh Jesus, it just moved. The creature slowly raises its head and pulls aside the hair that's obstructing its view. It's some dude.

Hmm .. but my hair is not that long. Anyway, since two days ago I watched a youtube video on how media scares people, I think I see how the scenery might've been scary. Though, I usually feel comfy both in darkness and in light.

The Onion

Happy New Year!

There's something that I didn't post from the previous year. Just before finishing Steve Richards' "Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane," I saw the seven layers of this body one by one. I was a bit too fascinated by the images though - didn't focus on most of them properly. Regardless, I realized the imbalance - quite a bit of strength in the low and the high layers but almost nothing on the middle layers.

Also realized that due to my preconceptions, I had previously mistaken the lowest layer for something else (something inherently pure or clean). I saw a black slimy humanoid crawling. The lowest layer is all dirty, fleshy and with very basic instincts. It grows from earth and it will become earth again. I've ignored a lot of that - because I've been certain that's not who I am. Both true as well as false - having acquired a body, it's my responsibility to take care of all its layers, to feel all its layers, to become one with them. It's as if human souls were injected into a realm several layers below their natural habitat, to inhabit bodies that belong there. This makes it possible for the souls to become acquainted with, and to acquire the sensation of the lower realms which would otherwise be too far off.

Thank you @ the authors of the caving story, Steve Richards and X-Files for this realization.

I'm pretty sure the 7 layers are a rather coarse interpretation but having just a few of them makes it possible to envision, categorize and analyze them with the rational mind.