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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Wednesday, January 30, 2019

No dreams?

Spent most of the night simply laying in the bed without actually falling asleep. Though, yesterday I felt more stale than I did today.

I did manage to remember a short and shallow dream. Had to enter a genetics lab, and do something there (don't remember what exactly). It was important that I lock the lab and put it under alarm before I leave. There was someone from the lab staff there to assist me if I needed any help with that. However, both of us were confused when the alarm was triggered right after enabling it.

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

All colleagues psychic

Maybe a bit of an exaggeration but at lunch witnessed the facial expression of a co-worker whom I would've never considered to be a psychic. He was probably more surprised and concerned about it than I was, tho.

Anyway, late yesterday evening there was a breakthrough at my other job. When I told him about it, his face suddenly turned white. He said that he had seen the exact same thing in a dream several days ago.

Joked to another colleague about the everyone at work gradually turning psychic. I find it fascinating.

Had the other 2 book exams today (around 1500 pages in 1 month). I wasn't satisfied because I failed to overcome anxiety. Had trouble thinking or speaking while the body was shivering, shaking and cramping up. Not as bad as during the physics book exam (around 700 pages of derivations in 1 month) but still not exactly comfortable.

Oh well. Took the books back to the library and was about to leave when someone called my name. An old classmate who is apparently back from Scotland. It's been more than 10 years since I last saw her.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Movies

RIP celibacy again.

Preparing for the books exam by watching movies. Nah, read the books as well .. just not too geared up to delve into the sections on finance, law and logistics.

Movie: First Man


Watched First Man (2018) yesterday. I was truly amazed at the the following:
  • Correct physics
  • Realistic radio chatter
  • Very good acting
  • Good lighting
  • Good sound and music
  • Good scene composition
I was a bit annoyed by the work of the camera operators. The wobbly camera (lack of stabilizers) was not always justified.

Also, my eyes would've been fried if I had looked at the sunlight like all the characters in the movie did. Already looking out from the window of a plane is pretty bad, let alone looking directly at the sun (Neil did once).

All in all, an awesome movie. Very inspiring.

Those good old days when one could get to the Moon and back with hot glue and MacGyver tape. I miss the times, even though I hadn't been born yet. Also, I found Neil's personality very similar to my old personality.

The movie helped me realize something more. Everything in Neil's life led up to what was still ahead. I suspect that he wouldn't have made it to the Moon if his daughter hadn't died. It was his daughter that acted as a guardian across the realms. It's amazing how things work out.

Dreams


Had a lot of dreams as well, but forgot most of the content. One of them was particularly strange - three similar-looking people approached me and told me something from the near future that I wouldn't have been able to predict (or considered too absurd to even consider). Forgot what it was, though.

Throughout the years I've had quite a few dreams where I've tried to help out people stranded in space. In the dreams such situations have resonated with me a lot because there I've known what it feels like to die all alone in the darkness with no-one able to do anything about it. In the kindergarten I remember being both fascinated as well as afraid of the black curtains on the stage - they reminded me of space. Now that I wrote it down, I also remembered that I've had a dream where I went quite far from Earth. Though, can't recall much other than a lot of colors and the feeling of being really far away.

Movie: Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo


Watched The Girl Who Leapt Through Time today. A lot of fun and a bit inspiring, but from the characters I found Makoto's aunt to be the most impressive and mysterious. Maybe should read the manga as well..?

The animations were really good, and I also enjoyed the scene composition. However, the movie explored a fairly limited set of concepts around time travel and "quantum immortality".

Saturday, January 26, 2019

Minor heat

Met another astronaut. Though, the meeting was a rather short one and had to compress info as much as possible. For that, I assumed that he was already aware of our mission. It turned out that he wasn't, nor was he aware of the technology that we've set out to test. In the end, he probably didn't get a thing that I blabbed about and there was no time to start over and explain everything thoroughly. Sigh.

I suspect that I've become acquainted to higher info density again, which makes it difficult for me to speak normally. Reading books is not good for the social skills.

After watching some cartoons of evil, focused on the feeling of love before bed.

For the first few hours, I had a dream that was difficult to control. Barely made the correct decision and managed to avoid a major leak of jing and probably a bunch of other unfortunate consequences.

Woke with a lot of heat in the abdomen. Had produced a lot of sweat, and had to visit the kitchen in order to absorb some water. Gradually propagated the heat up the central channel, while trying to fall asleep again. Spent 2-3 hours trying, eventually fell asleep again.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Mild headache

A bit tough to read the books this way.

Watched Flying Witch on the weekend, and found it to be good. Very good character design, good animation, very nice backgrounds and what surprised me the most, it was thoroughly positive (most of my faves are so dark even I don't want to watch them) and yet it was addictive even without deep story.

Random telempathy


While enjoying the queue (it's a national thing or something) at the canteen yesterday, there was a girl from the cosmology dept. in front of me, and an old man from meteorology some distance behind me. The meteorologist has been working abroad for most of his life, so he speaks and thinks a bit strange (in addition to being very talkative). While she did not express it, the cosmologist was annoyed about the way that the meteorologist was chatting with a stellar physicist. As I observed the thought / emotion of the cosmologist, she realized (at least it seemed so) that I was eavesdropping (may have caused it to be amplified a bit). She glanced at me and quickly stopped being annoyed.

That wolf-blood-moon or whatever

I treat the name with ignorance because it's a fashion label that is meant to sound epic but it does absolutely no justice to the actual phenomena.

Hadn't slept too well, so I missed the full eclipse but still ended up "hiking" through the snow to the bus station early enough to witness a part of it. An awesome timing, with a clear sky and the moon descending in front of me and the sun rising behind me. While I wouldn't have woken up specifically to see this wolf-blood-moon or whatever, I'm glad I saw it because it was visible during the 30 min morning walk which only happens like once or twice per week this month. The rest of the time I'm role-playing a bookworm.

Tapestry

For the past few weeks it has been more-or-less a nightly occurrence that I see with my eyes closed. It's usually blurry and lacks proper colors but it's the same tapestry on the wall, or the same corner of the room. Today morning I took a clementine and walked into the living room, staring at the cat on the window sill. Peeled the clementine and ate it while continuing to stare at the same spot. To some degree, I could see the floor and the clementine. Far from perfect but already quite useful (can stare at the cat).

One morning it occurred to me that a several years ago I had a dream / OBE where I entered my body and looked around the room with my eyes closed. I could see well enough that I didn't even need to open them. Enjoyed it until I was pushed back out through the wall (the original inhabitant wanted to use the body). Couldn't find the blog post to reference.

Anyway, currently my room looks very much like it did in that dream / OBE. The poster / image that I remember I mentioned in the blog post, it's neither. It's just a drawing of the Kalachakra mandala that mother gave me a few years ago.

The next night I relaxed the body and focused on the 3rd eye. Ended up focusing on it throughout the night, partially due to the crackling noises that appeared whenever I was about to fall asleep. The crackling noises have become annoyingly frequent. This was the night between Sunday and Monday. Anyway, sleeping schedule is messed up again, in addition to having a mild headache whenever the psi intensity grows too much.

Animated drawers

Took a nap in an attempt to overcome this abstainer's hangover. In one of the dreams I had to test some drawers. The first one was very broken - typical buggy mechanics in dreams. The second one was already a bit more realistic. The third was perfect - I could open and slam it however I wanted, it worked the way it was supposed to.

So, uh, visualization practice, probably. I do hope I wasn't geisting at someone's office.

Friday, January 18, 2019

Owl the Surgeon

Most of the dreams last night I spent in my room or its alternatives (it wasn't completely identical).

Dream(s): In my room


Father visited and we chatted for hours before he returned (he's currently abroad). I don't remember what we chatted about, though.

After he left, the cat was about to bother the tenant, so I produced a meow to get the cat into my room instead. In reality, the door to my room was closed whereas in the dream it wasn't.

There was an owl (similar to the one in the staring owl dream) looking after me from a bookshelf. The owl was cute, even though it was large and already quite old. It flew onto my lap and cut into my left side with its claws. I did not pay too much attention to it, for the cat also claws me sometimes. When I was about to go back to bed, I noticed that I was bleeding. I couldn't spot a wound large enough, so I simply cleaned it off and went back to bed. In reality, noticed that a cold pain in the left side of my chest has disappeared. Respect and a lot of thanks to the owl for the surgery.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

A bit more energetic

Was feeling quite tired. Took some vitamins and slept a lot. The greatest effect was from the psi fountain (or what I used to call grounding), or at least so it seemed.

Today I felt quite energetic, compared to the usual.

A bunch of dreams again.

Dream: Pulverizing

Me and a gang prepared to track down a murderer. Distinguished him from the crowd and took him to the rest of the gang. By then, he had retracted into a single bone. Although we had previously agreed on everything, the gang no longer seemed up to it. I asked them to pulverize it, to yield the maximum time before it restores itself. Nobody listened. So I put it down and smashed it into several pieces with my knee. "This should give at least some time before it re-manifests itself," I thought.

Thinking back on it, it seems like the most retarded solution one could think of. What a "wonderful" demonstration of my intelligence /s. Dissolving in unconditional love and forgiveness would have been the best solution.

Dream: Toilet

Had to take a dump and rushed to the closest toilet. After spending some time in there, I noticed that all the people going through the restroom were women. Asked if this was a women's restroom. One of them replied that indeed it was.

I tried to make it quick but couldn't.

Dream: Painting

Mom and sister found a painting that they wanted to buy. They asked me over to see it as well. I also found it interesting but for a different reason. In addition to looking nice, it had symbolism from the 1930s that portrayed the society back then. Although I didn't pay much attention to it, I think the overall picture was about a bedroom with a nice view through the window.

Dream: Levitation

Before the dream, I practised concentration on the sensation of levitation. Started lifting out of body at first, then tried again.

Probably one of the longest flying dream thus far. Flew around the summerhouse a lot, viewed all sorts of buildings, objects from a wide variety of angles.

Friday, January 11, 2019

Dreamo-theoretical UFO sightings

A couple of interesting dreams again.

Uncle's UFO sightings

Spent a part of the night at the summerhouse again. Met one of my uncles there. He wished he could remove some of his UFO sighting stories from the internet as these were affecting his image. "People do search for your name before employing you," he said.

I didn't say anything, I was just really curious because I hadn't heard of his UFO sightings. And of course I know that people search for names, I also do that occasionally.

It's pretty much summer already

Took a bus to the town center. It wasn't the bus that I've typically taken, as it crossed the other bridge. From this bridge, there's a nice view over the channel, the river and the snailtower. I enjoyed the view in daylight and commented that it's pretty much summer already. Indeed, the ice and snow had melted and grass was becoming green again. Between the channel and the river there's something park-like with trees. However, on the trees I saw an overlay of scripus or something similar starting to bloom.

Someone from the bus responded that it's still quite far from the summer. I was a bit surprised that there was anyone self-aware on the bus. I looked around a bit more and noticed that most of the people in the bus seemed to be conscious.



First one of the cousins having vivid dreams and OBE, then his father. Should probably ask him if he has had any UFO sightings recently.

I wonder if it's just me or is there really something about 2019 that has shifted the awareness of people?

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Fame and politics

That slithering curse. Had a rather vivid dream of it.

I was somewhere at an event (conference or press release of some sort?) and all kinds of people kept coming up to me in order to shake hands and express their fandom. There were a lot of them, but I remember one red headed lady because she had the agenda to drag me into politics - I would have to publicly analyze the effects of my work on politics. She would later use the quotes to finish a book of hers or something. I told her that a long time ago I had decided not to become involved in politics.

Anyway, some moments later I'm on the podium speaking something. Kept it short and walked off to read a book. This caused even more cheers from the audience full of fans.



Last year I had three people approach me and say that they're my fans. Should find a way to get more work done while standing out less. Though, I haven't even started working on any of the ambitious projects. Hmm .. (lightbulb) .. internet and animated anon avatars.

About reading books - I'm preparing for the next book exam, which is why that was in the dream. Two thick ("bibles") and slightly over 2 weeks left.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Dream s

Spent most of the night on Saaremaa.
Left hand under the pillow had produced a lot of sweat.

Bear

I was sitting on the ground behind the house, enjoying the view over the field when a bear (I think) showed up. Again, it would have caused me to leave the place unless I managed to pet it. I think I managed to do that somehow, for it stopped bothering me.

Spawn-Poof-Spawn

Just walked outside, chatting with cousin and enjoying the weather. It was warm, cloudy, without snow and wind.

Anyway, at some moment some more cousins (err, not clones) popped into the dream, running around playing something. One of them greeted me and ran away again.

A moment later I look back at where they were playing and there's nobody there.

Then a moment later again they're back, then they disappear while I'm looking in their direction.

A rather persistent dream. I wonder if one of the cousins might remember it as well.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Feeling good

Meditated before falling asleep, with focus on the head yesterday evening. After that, I think I fiddled with some equations for a few hours.

Eventually had a dream of climbing a cliff. Although there was a rope hanging down from the top of the cliff, it was worn out and tangled. As I climbed higher, someone climbing just before me managed to untangle it. I think it was a young girl who was so lightweight and yet muscular enough that the she really didn't need the rope. Anyway, when I tried leaning on the rope to test if it would withstand my weight, it seemed like it wouldn't be able to withstand me. There was a railing as well, not too far from where I was at, so I tried to make it there to test if the railing would hold. However, there was an elderly lady cautiously descending and she was using the railing. Gently tried the railing and found that most likely it also would not be able to withstand my weight. Well whatever, stepped aside to where there was no path, relying on small cracks between the rocks and a lot of willpower to cling to the rocks. It was slippery and a single slip would have caused a fairly long fall, which is why I had tried my best at following the safest path that a lot of others had already taken before me. I was convinced that falling would mean certain death. But it did not matter, for I knew what I could achieve with the help of my willpower and concentration. A few hours later I had reached the top of the cliff, and continued until I had climbed to the top of the trees. Had to descend a little again to meet up with some friends who were waiting for me in the woods.

Although in that dream, climbing was tough, it was not tougher than the adventure park in Latvia that I've visited a few times. Moreover, I'm quite thankful that in this dream there was no gravity or space warping going on which used to prevent me from climbing in dreams in early childhood.

A quick pranayama in the morning and throughout the day I felt better than I have been feeling for the past few years. Somehow, the body seems happy. During the day it became quite stormy outside.

Re-met an old man at the university library and wished him a Happy New Year (I wish the same to all the readers, too =). I've met him once before at the canteen at work, perhaps a couple of years ago. At first he apologized for his lousy memory, after which he recalled my workgroup, the topic that we discussed, some specifics of the discussion, as well as the date and time when we discussed it. I was impressed and commended him on his memory. I found it inspiring how he was constantly looking for ways to improve his memory by convincing himself that it was not good enough.