Yesterday morning I looked at the covered psi-wheel again - it's at least a week since I last practiced it. It spun a degree or two in one direction and then back. A moment later I became so excited that I couldn't keep my mind blank anymore and the psi-wheel stopped moving.
In the morning, while watching Naruto with my father, something weird happened. During a really sad moment, we suddenly heard a 'click' as if the bathroom light was switched on. We checked and the bathroom lights had indeed mysteriously turned on. I'm certain that it was my father again.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Half-sleep choices
A couple of days ago, as I was taking a short nap during the day, it felt as if I was walking on a solid plane. Then, suddenly a soft hole appeared into the plane floor and I started to fall down (possibly into deeper dreaming states). It startled me awake.
Yesterday, while taking a short nap during the day, I suddenly found myself in the familiar half-sleep state again. I felt I had at least 3 choices (I became aware of 3 feelings and could choose one of them):
Can't remember any previous occurrences when I could literally feel the choices before completely falling asleep, but this one was cool.
Yesterday, while taking a short nap during the day, I suddenly found myself in the familiar half-sleep state again. I felt I had at least 3 choices (I became aware of 3 feelings and could choose one of them):
- Go forward and watch dreams
- Take advantage of the half-sleep stage and try to practice psionics
- A seemingly weird choice (felt like a packet of good feelings inside myself) - didn't know what it was and that's why I picked it
Can't remember any previous occurrences when I could literally feel the choices before completely falling asleep, but this one was cool.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Meaning for a couple of dreams
I think I know what that dream (this one) meant.
I also remembered a dream that my sister described a few months ago. She had seen me playing around with a long, really angry and dangerous-looking snake. She said that I was completely calm while playing with it while she was afraid of it.
I think that both of them were to warn me of the dangers of Kundalini, showing that it could be harmful for other people around me. I have to be ready for it and then face it in a controlled manner instead of running away. I'm a bit nervous about it, as at the moment I'm far from being ready for this.
It's been a while since I tried the psi-wheel uncovered and the last time I tried it covered, was also last week. The last weekend, I preferred to mess with a coin standing on its edge. Didn't have much success with either one - the covered psi-wheel slightly twitched every now and then, but only slightly. And the coin didn't even budge; it's a lot less sensitive than a psi-wheel.
During the day, I was complaining about not having enough motivation for a 1 hour meditation course. So, I decided to just do it in the evening before going to sleep. I was really tired and it was late, but I didn't care.
It ended up being one of the most inconvenient meditation sessions I have gotten to experience. I had eaten and drunk some juice too late in the evening and my whole right side (especially the kidney) was cold and painful when I thought on it. I couldn't even heal it, as it was just too painful and inconvenient to just think on the kidney. So, I really tried to keep my concentration off of it.
At the moment, I can't remember what I saw / did while meditating, but after the meditation, the right side was alright and had healed on itself.
I also remembered a dream that my sister described a few months ago. She had seen me playing around with a long, really angry and dangerous-looking snake. She said that I was completely calm while playing with it while she was afraid of it.
I think that both of them were to warn me of the dangers of Kundalini, showing that it could be harmful for other people around me. I have to be ready for it and then face it in a controlled manner instead of running away. I'm a bit nervous about it, as at the moment I'm far from being ready for this.
It's been a while since I tried the psi-wheel uncovered and the last time I tried it covered, was also last week. The last weekend, I preferred to mess with a coin standing on its edge. Didn't have much success with either one - the covered psi-wheel slightly twitched every now and then, but only slightly. And the coin didn't even budge; it's a lot less sensitive than a psi-wheel.
During the day, I was complaining about not having enough motivation for a 1 hour meditation course. So, I decided to just do it in the evening before going to sleep. I was really tired and it was late, but I didn't care.
It ended up being one of the most inconvenient meditation sessions I have gotten to experience. I had eaten and drunk some juice too late in the evening and my whole right side (especially the kidney) was cold and painful when I thought on it. I couldn't even heal it, as it was just too painful and inconvenient to just think on the kidney. So, I really tried to keep my concentration off of it.
At the moment, I can't remember what I saw / did while meditating, but after the meditation, the right side was alright and had healed on itself.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Messing with exam dates again
How the heck do I manage to mess up exam times?
Went to school for the exam in "Material structure 2" (or however it's called in English) and was surprised that nobody came to unlock the door. I was getting nervous, thinking I could have had the wrong time marked down in my schedule. So, I went into the computers classroom and checked the "Study Information System" (or whatever). I was a week too early - it was supposed to be the next Monday. I remember the lecturer saying: "So, the first exam is on the next Monday" (he said it a week ago). This Monday would've been the most convenient date for the exam, as I could spend at least 2 days studying for it.
Actually, I think I should view the coincidence from another angle. If I had had the correct date marked in my schedule, I couldn't have studied for it the previous weekend (well, at least not with enough motivation). The problem would've been the serious exam the next week - so, during the forthcoming weekend, I would be studying for the subject on Haskell programming (which is a killer) instead of "Material structure 2".
So, this "coincidence" was actually the only way I could have studied for the exam and I should be thankful to my subconsciousness. I'm still slightly frustrated about it though..
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Seeing with eyes closed
A week or two ago, I was taking a shower and some shampoo went into my eye. I couldn't wipe it with anything, as my hands were also covered in shampoo. So, the only way was to finish washing my head with my eyes closed. I picked / put back the shampoo bottle or shower nozzle with no mistakes. So, I decided to wash myself completely with my eyes closed.
It seemed weird for a moment, but then it came to my mind that I know where everything is by heart and there's no need for me to even see anything. Furthermore, as most of the time, when I'm with my eyes closed, I can still see (to some extent) probably because light still penetrates the eyelids. I even confirmed it by closing my eyelids more forcefully and I couldn't see a thing anymore.
I have confirmed the same in my dark room - I can see my hands, legs and some furniture around me, but when I forcefully push my eyelids together, everything goes black and I can't see nothing anymore. This indicates that it's normal for the eyes to become sensitive enough to see through the eyelids in the dark.
Strangely though, while taking a shower today, I messed everything up with my eyes closed. I couldn't pick the soap even when I visualized picking it first. I was like truly blind with my eyes closed this time. My accuracy was from a few millimeters down to 30 centimeters or so. =? This failure makes the previous seem a bit suspicious - the locations of the soap, shampoo and shower nozzle haven't changed and even the lighting conditions were exactly the same.
It seemed weird for a moment, but then it came to my mind that I know where everything is by heart and there's no need for me to even see anything. Furthermore, as most of the time, when I'm with my eyes closed, I can still see (to some extent) probably because light still penetrates the eyelids. I even confirmed it by closing my eyelids more forcefully and I couldn't see a thing anymore.
I have confirmed the same in my dark room - I can see my hands, legs and some furniture around me, but when I forcefully push my eyelids together, everything goes black and I can't see nothing anymore. This indicates that it's normal for the eyes to become sensitive enough to see through the eyelids in the dark.
Strangely though, while taking a shower today, I messed everything up with my eyes closed. I couldn't pick the soap even when I visualized picking it first. I was like truly blind with my eyes closed this time. My accuracy was from a few millimeters down to 30 centimeters or so. =? This failure makes the previous seem a bit suspicious - the locations of the soap, shampoo and shower nozzle haven't changed and even the lighting conditions were exactly the same.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Happens
It has been 3 days of 5-6 hours of sleep every night (pushing my productivity) and I'm starting to get slightly depressed.
A classmate asked me to scan my optics test so that he could fix the bugs in his test. I got home, he reminded it to me via MSN. Turned the computer on and started scanning. As usual, it scanned so slow that I was slightly bored, just staring at the screen. I don't know why, but I started thinking: "Would I be able to scan all the pages? What would I do if the scanner failed - I would take pictures with the camera." The scanner suddenly made a bang - the head must have crashed into the limiter. Well, I scanned some more pages and with no warning, it stopped almost at the middle of a page. The scanner was no longer recognized by the computer and I had to take pictures of the rest of the pages =[. Anyway, the scanner was something like 14 years old already, I guess.
I found this post while searching around in VSociety today: http://forums.vsociety.net/index.php?topic=3456.0. I didn't know Kundalini awakening could be this dangerous and that so many have gone crazy, crippled themselves or died because of this. That's probably the reason why it's highly suggested to find a master for this..
Edit: It just means that we have to be ready when it happens and I guess psionics would help in getting ready for the great psi pressure that suddenly builds up during Kundalini awakening.
A classmate asked me to scan my optics test so that he could fix the bugs in his test. I got home, he reminded it to me via MSN. Turned the computer on and started scanning. As usual, it scanned so slow that I was slightly bored, just staring at the screen. I don't know why, but I started thinking: "Would I be able to scan all the pages? What would I do if the scanner failed - I would take pictures with the camera." The scanner suddenly made a bang - the head must have crashed into the limiter. Well, I scanned some more pages and with no warning, it stopped almost at the middle of a page. The scanner was no longer recognized by the computer and I had to take pictures of the rest of the pages =[. Anyway, the scanner was something like 14 years old already, I guess.
I found this post while searching around in VSociety today: http://forums.vsociety.net/index.php?topic=3456.0. I didn't know Kundalini awakening could be this dangerous and that so many have gone crazy, crippled themselves or died because of this. That's probably the reason why it's highly suggested to find a master for this..
Edit: It just means that we have to be ready when it happens and I guess psionics would help in getting ready for the great psi pressure that suddenly builds up during Kundalini awakening.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Previous lives?
I meditated for a short while and started seeing some images. The first one was a wall with a lot of paint fallen off and it gave the feeling that it was somewhere in the old town. I thought: "Why here, what's going on?" Anyway, I decided to follow the one who led me there (if any =D). I tried to look around, but it was all too dark and blurry and I soon became dizzy - I suck at remote viewing. It looked like we were going down some cellar and into some dark underground passages. I think I saw some torturing devices in the dark. A few moments later, I got another image - a prison room with 2 small cross-barred windows. While in the room, I felt as if I've been there. I guess having been there could explain why I used to fear sharp objects that were pointed towards me.
It reminds me of young Karli on Saaremaa - grandmother said he had once told her this: "I went away when the ladder fell on me, but now I'm back." He always panicked when he had to climb a ladder, take the stairs or simply go somewhere high.
Edit: It could've been something else as well, as I've seen other images packed with the deja vu feeling. Some of those other images have been more recent than the medieval times in timeline.
Hyena sent a link: Liquid mountaineering. Some guys came up with a new sport - running as far as possible on water. I wonder if psychokinetic weightlifting, running up trees or levitating would be next? Tagging psionics as a sport would mask it for skeptics, but still keep psions together, I guess.
Before going to sleep, I meditated for a few minutes, then did some push-ups and as I stood up and looked at my bed, thinking whether I should go to sleep or meditate some more. The bed snapped in at least 3 places simultaneously. It was fairly quiet sound, compared to what kind of snapping I have previously experienced, but it was more or less the first time something has snapped in so many places at the same time. It almost sounded as if the bed was being dragged by a few millimeters.
It reminds me of young Karli on Saaremaa - grandmother said he had once told her this: "I went away when the ladder fell on me, but now I'm back." He always panicked when he had to climb a ladder, take the stairs or simply go somewhere high.
Edit: It could've been something else as well, as I've seen other images packed with the deja vu feeling. Some of those other images have been more recent than the medieval times in timeline.
Hyena sent a link: Liquid mountaineering. Some guys came up with a new sport - running as far as possible on water. I wonder if psychokinetic weightlifting, running up trees or levitating would be next? Tagging psionics as a sport would mask it for skeptics, but still keep psions together, I guess.
Before going to sleep, I meditated for a few minutes, then did some push-ups and as I stood up and looked at my bed, thinking whether I should go to sleep or meditate some more. The bed snapped in at least 3 places simultaneously. It was fairly quiet sound, compared to what kind of snapping I have previously experienced, but it was more or less the first time something has snapped in so many places at the same time. It almost sounded as if the bed was being dragged by a few millimeters.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Animated graphs; meditation concert
Yesterday after some not-so-successful pk attempts on the covered psi-wheel in trigonometric tattoos, I meditated for 30 minutes and started feeling psi inside and around me somewhat better. Couldn't do more than 30 minutes - my mind started to wander and I would've just fallen asleep, I guess. After meditating, I went to sleep.
I saw a cool dream in the morning: we were in a classroom and the lecturer asked me to come and show something on the blackboard. I hadn't been paying much attention and didn't know nothing about the subject, so I just passed my turn. There was some other guy whom I hadn't seen before. He said: "Well, I'll go if there are no other volunteers." He went to the blackboard, drew a few graphs and sketches, but as he did that, we were all amazed - parts of the sketches started to twitch. He drew on and the whole drawings started to change shapes and move around as he was explaining. As a grand finale, he spared the rest of the blackboard by just "scrolling" his drawings and drawing new ones into the same place.
It would be cool, if only I could do that with psi. Well, actually, it's just an idea I haven't even gotten to practice yet.
Me, my father and sister went to a meditation music concert today (just seemed too exotic to miss). It reminded me of hemi-sync music, but this one was better - it was more dynamic and they tried more different frequencies. As I concentrated on the sounds, I noticed that the higher the frequencies were, the more it felt as if psi inside me was pulled upwards. The lower frequencies didn't seem to have much effect. Well, a couple of years ago, it was especially the lower frequencies that seemed to have done something. Anyway, the sounds made my head feel dizzy and bad just like I was drawing too much psi through it - psi blockages again, I guess.
After the concert, my head felt lighter and less shielded from the outside. When I touched my head, it felt a lot more fragile than before. The last time I went through the trouble of cleaning my head from all blockages, my head felt so open and defenseless that I was worried about taking a shower =P. I'm probably used to having dozens of heavy shields on and in my head so that I can't even recognize them - I can, but only through the pain that I feel when trying to push high amounts of psi through all those shields.
I saw a cool dream in the morning: we were in a classroom and the lecturer asked me to come and show something on the blackboard. I hadn't been paying much attention and didn't know nothing about the subject, so I just passed my turn. There was some other guy whom I hadn't seen before. He said: "Well, I'll go if there are no other volunteers." He went to the blackboard, drew a few graphs and sketches, but as he did that, we were all amazed - parts of the sketches started to twitch. He drew on and the whole drawings started to change shapes and move around as he was explaining. As a grand finale, he spared the rest of the blackboard by just "scrolling" his drawings and drawing new ones into the same place.
It would be cool, if only I could do that with psi. Well, actually, it's just an idea I haven't even gotten to practice yet.
Me, my father and sister went to a meditation music concert today (just seemed too exotic to miss). It reminded me of hemi-sync music, but this one was better - it was more dynamic and they tried more different frequencies. As I concentrated on the sounds, I noticed that the higher the frequencies were, the more it felt as if psi inside me was pulled upwards. The lower frequencies didn't seem to have much effect. Well, a couple of years ago, it was especially the lower frequencies that seemed to have done something. Anyway, the sounds made my head feel dizzy and bad just like I was drawing too much psi through it - psi blockages again, I guess.
After the concert, my head felt lighter and less shielded from the outside. When I touched my head, it felt a lot more fragile than before. The last time I went through the trouble of cleaning my head from all blockages, my head felt so open and defenseless that I was worried about taking a shower =P. I'm probably used to having dozens of heavy shields on and in my head so that I can't even recognize them - I can, but only through the pain that I feel when trying to push high amounts of psi through all those shields.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Don't drop that
While walking to school today morning, I saw a small girl holding a box and walking downhill with her family. The box looked like there was something sensitive or fragile inside and I thought: "It would be bad if she dropped it." She took 2 more steps and stumbled onto her own feet while going past me. She fell down with the box slamming to the ground. Her father was really pissed off and she started crying.
The timing seemed really suspicious - she fell almost at the exact moment when she was walking past me, only a moment after the thought had popped into my mind..
The timing seemed really suspicious - she fell almost at the exact moment when she was walking past me, only a moment after the thought had popped into my mind..
Monday, May 10, 2010
Overjogged
My head occasionally hurts pretty bad today and while the rest of the muscles no longer hurt, the neck still does. I think I actually have managed to catch some cold and I don't feel like I really wanted to sit down for hours and attempt to heal myself.
Two days ago, I thought "I should get well for Sunday", but I was almost lacking motivation for this. Well, I was still amazed, when I woke up on Sunday, all pain suddenly gone and feeling refreshed from a good night's sleep.
=D I guess I kind of overdid it with the jogging..
Yesterday evening before going to sleep, I tried the covered psi-wheel again and not much of a change - I still need some more practice before I really get it twitching (so far it's on or in the boundary of self-illusion).
One thing that occasionally seems to help is looking at the whole psi-wheel, trying to feel it as a whole. When I do this, it usually looks as if it were to start twitching and then I lose the feeling of the whole.
For most of the time so far, I have been looking at some specific place on the psi-wheel (center, one of the edges or at some text on the psi-wheel paper). It works, at least sometimes (with the psi-wheel uncovered), but it makes it more difficult to visualize it spinning instead of morphing or levitating an edge.
The "Just do it" method does not seem to be working when I don't have the feeling of it spinning. So, I sometimes do the following:
Two days ago, I thought "I should get well for Sunday", but I was almost lacking motivation for this. Well, I was still amazed, when I woke up on Sunday, all pain suddenly gone and feeling refreshed from a good night's sleep.
=D I guess I kind of overdid it with the jogging..
Yesterday evening before going to sleep, I tried the covered psi-wheel again and not much of a change - I still need some more practice before I really get it twitching (so far it's on or in the boundary of self-illusion).
One thing that occasionally seems to help is looking at the whole psi-wheel, trying to feel it as a whole. When I do this, it usually looks as if it were to start twitching and then I lose the feeling of the whole.
For most of the time so far, I have been looking at some specific place on the psi-wheel (center, one of the edges or at some text on the psi-wheel paper). It works, at least sometimes (with the psi-wheel uncovered), but it makes it more difficult to visualize it spinning instead of morphing or levitating an edge.
The "Just do it" method does not seem to be working when I don't have the feeling of it spinning. So, I sometimes do the following:
- Look at one edge of the psi-wheel and visualize a pulling / pushing force acting on the edge.
- Take the next edge and do the same.
- Repeat this for a few rounds.
- Look at the psi-wheel or one of its edges with a clear mind (try the "Just do it" method).
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Injured in a dream
A busy week ended and ... I feel like I've caught a flu. I'm not sure if it's the flu or just the Thursday's jogging - all muscles ache and head feels a bit .. weird. I haven't been jogging for a while and on Thursday, I went on for almost twice the usual 30 minutes.
Before going to sleep yesterday, I went through the trouble of visualizing inspecting my whole body and cleaning it of all blockages and stuff. It took a lot of time and almost at every spot I had to stop and try different visualizations before I finally started to feel as if the spot had become clean.
Yesterday night I saw a dream or more like a dream inside of a dream. I was in bed on Saaremaa and couldn't sleep. I felt like I had to take some aspirin and get rid of the fever so that I could sleep properly. Every once in a while I fell asleep in the dream and saw a dream where I was coming down from a roof of an old building, but there was nowhere to put the lower end of the ladder, as the building was on a mountain edge. I messed with it for quite a long time and then gave up - just jumped down. As I did, I woke up from both dreams, feeling like I actually had fallen to the ground, but with my "astral body" (or however they call it). I felt as if I had twisted my left foot and cracked my chest while the body was all good.
Haven't been practicing enough psionics, I guess. If I had, I would have flown or teleported in the dream.
Anyway, the last few days it has been a bit breezy in my room and I haven't been able to try the psi-wheel with the cover open. So, I tried it with the cover closed for a few times again. It still moves so little that I can barely see it (or perhaps it's just my imagination that it moves at all).
I showed my first PK video with the uncovered psi-wheel to my sister and she confirmed that the psi-wheel was occasionally spinning - at least that's more than just my imagination.. =)
A couple of days ago, we played (or tried to play) passing constructs with my sister and I came to the conclusion that I really suck at making constructs. I had a hard time trying to make them last long enough and I couldn't even visualize a hot psi-ball.
Before going to sleep yesterday, I went through the trouble of visualizing inspecting my whole body and cleaning it of all blockages and stuff. It took a lot of time and almost at every spot I had to stop and try different visualizations before I finally started to feel as if the spot had become clean.
Yesterday night I saw a dream or more like a dream inside of a dream. I was in bed on Saaremaa and couldn't sleep. I felt like I had to take some aspirin and get rid of the fever so that I could sleep properly. Every once in a while I fell asleep in the dream and saw a dream where I was coming down from a roof of an old building, but there was nowhere to put the lower end of the ladder, as the building was on a mountain edge. I messed with it for quite a long time and then gave up - just jumped down. As I did, I woke up from both dreams, feeling like I actually had fallen to the ground, but with my "astral body" (or however they call it). I felt as if I had twisted my left foot and cracked my chest while the body was all good.
Haven't been practicing enough psionics, I guess. If I had, I would have flown or teleported in the dream.
Anyway, the last few days it has been a bit breezy in my room and I haven't been able to try the psi-wheel with the cover open. So, I tried it with the cover closed for a few times again. It still moves so little that I can barely see it (or perhaps it's just my imagination that it moves at all).
I showed my first PK video with the uncovered psi-wheel to my sister and she confirmed that the psi-wheel was occasionally spinning - at least that's more than just my imagination.. =)
A couple of days ago, we played (or tried to play) passing constructs with my sister and I came to the conclusion that I really suck at making constructs. I had a hard time trying to make them last long enough and I couldn't even visualize a hot psi-ball.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Short meditation
Meditated for about 30 minutes, before going to sleep yesterday. As I hadn't done so for a while, it felt really good. All tension that had built up in my body, went away and I started to feel the psi around me better. The snapping sounds are back and they even interrupted me a few times during the meditation.
Perhaps after the last test of optics this Thursday, I'll have more time to practice psionics again..
What a lousy excuse - I have had time, I just haven't used it for practicing. =/
Perhaps after the last test of optics this Thursday, I'll have more time to practice psionics again..
What a lousy excuse - I have had time, I just haven't used it for practicing. =/
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