Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Sneeze
Today morning I sneezed (covering with my right hand) while holding the phone in my left hand. This made the phone (Chinese) act weird. It started tapping on things on its own. Forced a reboot, which caused a battery drop from about 84% to 3%. Normally the battery lasts at least a couple of weeks on 80%.
Other than that, random stuff has been happening again. Things which required me to coordinate and plan things, only to get another random encounter which invalidated all the plans again.
Monday, January 27, 2020
Camping
I was feeling rather tired of everything last week. An old friend invited me for a chat and camping in the woods for the weekend. In addition to being tired, I had a dream of a student paying a visit to finalize their research, which made me a bit hesitant at first.
Decided to go. Eventually learned that the camping event would also involve spending a night in the woods. I don't have a tent for winter weather, nor did I have a sleeping bag suitable for such an occasion. Luckily there was still enough time to visit a hiking store to buy a sleeping bag for winter. Also had some time to stock up on lightweight food, get home, pack my bags. The friend called me just when I had finished packing. Booted, and by the time I got downstairs, I saw him pull over. Unrealistically perfect timing with everything.
Somehow I had managed to pack enough food for maybe a week, whereas we only stayed there for about 1.5 days. It made me happier that considering the lack of time for planning and the quick packing, I had managed to pack everything necessary.
Quite a bit of physical exercise which I had been missing for more than a year. Got to saw, haul wooden logs, drag branches and chop them. This livened me up considerably. At some point dragging branches over all the fallen trees in the dark became somewhat tiring. The branches became stuck again and I tried to wiggle them out, then stopped to catch my breath for a moment. Felt like someone helped (thought it was one of the other guys at the camp) and the branches suddenly became unstuck. Looked behind me but I couldn't see anyone who could've helped.
The evening was rather humid, and it froze over. Encountered a thought "you'll get pneumonia again if you don't wake up". Woke up and it was about 3:30 AM. Hauled some more wood, took a couple of quick naps at the bonfire, went back and slept until 9 AM. Felt really good, left the sleeping bag, took a hand saw, tackled some challenging logs and hauled these.
Joked about taking down a thick and tall tree which had dried out but was still standing. The other guys were not really amused. Took the tiny axe and started pecking at the tree. At least it looked like a tree from afar but in reality its base was so rotten that there was barely anything holding it upright. It was a wonder it was still standing after all the storms which had wreaked havoc all around it. A few axe hits later, the tree tipped in roughly the direction I had aimed it for. Apparently the base of the tree was rotten, whereas most of the tree was still solid. There was another half-rotten tree which we cut and used up for the bonfire. Both caught my attention and seemed to have nagged me as if they had been waiting for me there.
We left quite exhausted but I think it only hit me today how awesome it actually was. While a bit tired, I've been feeling amazing today.
Decided to go. Eventually learned that the camping event would also involve spending a night in the woods. I don't have a tent for winter weather, nor did I have a sleeping bag suitable for such an occasion. Luckily there was still enough time to visit a hiking store to buy a sleeping bag for winter. Also had some time to stock up on lightweight food, get home, pack my bags. The friend called me just when I had finished packing. Booted, and by the time I got downstairs, I saw him pull over. Unrealistically perfect timing with everything.
Somehow I had managed to pack enough food for maybe a week, whereas we only stayed there for about 1.5 days. It made me happier that considering the lack of time for planning and the quick packing, I had managed to pack everything necessary.
Quite a bit of physical exercise which I had been missing for more than a year. Got to saw, haul wooden logs, drag branches and chop them. This livened me up considerably. At some point dragging branches over all the fallen trees in the dark became somewhat tiring. The branches became stuck again and I tried to wiggle them out, then stopped to catch my breath for a moment. Felt like someone helped (thought it was one of the other guys at the camp) and the branches suddenly became unstuck. Looked behind me but I couldn't see anyone who could've helped.
The evening was rather humid, and it froze over. Encountered a thought "you'll get pneumonia again if you don't wake up". Woke up and it was about 3:30 AM. Hauled some more wood, took a couple of quick naps at the bonfire, went back and slept until 9 AM. Felt really good, left the sleeping bag, took a hand saw, tackled some challenging logs and hauled these.
Joked about taking down a thick and tall tree which had dried out but was still standing. The other guys were not really amused. Took the tiny axe and started pecking at the tree. At least it looked like a tree from afar but in reality its base was so rotten that there was barely anything holding it upright. It was a wonder it was still standing after all the storms which had wreaked havoc all around it. A few axe hits later, the tree tipped in roughly the direction I had aimed it for. Apparently the base of the tree was rotten, whereas most of the tree was still solid. There was another half-rotten tree which we cut and used up for the bonfire. Both caught my attention and seemed to have nagged me as if they had been waiting for me there.
We left quite exhausted but I think it only hit me today how awesome it actually was. While a bit tired, I've been feeling amazing today.
Monday, January 20, 2020
Minor synchronicities
Visited the store yesterday evening. While walking from one shelf to another, I was thinking "now what should I take to complement the rice and tomato sauce?" At the same moment, a couple walks past and I overhear the guy saying he wanted rice with tomato sauce. His girlfriend asked where he suddenly got that idea from, and that if he actually wanted rice, then there wasn't much she could do about it.
Dear blog, TIFU. While I don't do that typically, today I clicked on a cake recipe, found it interesting and shared the link in the Discord server. Some time later while chatting with a former colleague, she said that I could bribe her with a cake. I don't think she knew anything of the Discord server nor the fact that I had just stumbled upon a recipe. Should try to implement the cake sometime.
Edit: Remembered that yesterday evening I found the freezer door open. Judging by the temperature, it had not been open for more than a few minutes. However, nobody accessed the freezer. This leaves just the cat, even though he has never done that before.
Dear blog, TIFU. While I don't do that typically, today I clicked on a cake recipe, found it interesting and shared the link in the Discord server. Some time later while chatting with a former colleague, she said that I could bribe her with a cake. I don't think she knew anything of the Discord server nor the fact that I had just stumbled upon a recipe. Should try to implement the cake sometime.
Edit: Remembered that yesterday evening I found the freezer door open. Judging by the temperature, it had not been open for more than a few minutes. However, nobody accessed the freezer. This leaves just the cat, even though he has never done that before.
Violet Evergarden
Watched Violet Evergarden (MAL) during the weekend. I was already blown away by the first minutes of the first episode. It was amazing. Already the animation style and the attention to detail was really inspiring and made me want to participate in something awesome, too. What is more, the main character inspired me even further.
Related to the main character more than I would've thought I would. She reminded me of the correct attitude which I had been missing for years. She reminded me of me the way I used to be, reminded me that I still was, and showed me the way I would be. Any aspect of Violet which I did not directly relate to, reminded me of my grandfather. It's one of the very few anime that got so close and personal that it seemed as if it were addressed to me.
In my eyes, Violet Evergarden is a story of seeking perfection in everything, which eventually provides a way to break free from the karmic cycle to obtain self-realization and enlightenment.
The anime seemed perfect in every way. However, it broke so many tears that dehydration became an issue, in addition to losing a pack of tissues.
Related to the main character more than I would've thought I would. She reminded me of the correct attitude which I had been missing for years. She reminded me of me the way I used to be, reminded me that I still was, and showed me the way I would be. Any aspect of Violet which I did not directly relate to, reminded me of my grandfather. It's one of the very few anime that got so close and personal that it seemed as if it were addressed to me.
In my eyes, Violet Evergarden is a story of seeking perfection in everything, which eventually provides a way to break free from the karmic cycle to obtain self-realization and enlightenment.
The anime seemed perfect in every way. However, it broke so many tears that dehydration became an issue, in addition to losing a pack of tissues.
Saturday, January 18, 2020
Retracing steps vs. map
Vitamin D has most definitely helped to recover the immune system. There has been only one morning with eye burn since I started taking Vitamin D, and even that morning was when I had forgotten to take it the day prior. I think the air humidifier has also helped a bit.
There was still a disease nibbling at the immune system, which caused sneezing and bleeding in my left nostril but perhaps only made the left eye itch a little.
I've been having issues with emotions, desires and expectations, probably due to lack of meditation and pranayama practice. A few weeks ago I visualized the struggle as a memory from when I was little.
I was in the sea with a swimming ring but I had drifted a little too far away from the shore and the wind pushing me away from the shore was too strong for me to swim against. I tried as hard as I could, until I got tired and just gave up. The water was several meters deep and I wasn't comfortable letting go of the ring, either. Some older swimmers saved me.
Anyway, this time regarding the struggle with emotions and desires, the subconscious mind told me to stand up in the water. When I did, I realized that the water was barely up to the knees. Absolutely nothing to be worried about.
A couple of nights ago, I had yet another dream of climbing a cliff. I looked around for places to grab from, in order to get further towards the right, for it seemed that it would be easier to reach the top from there. I couldn't find any places to grab from, looked down and asked from the friend at my left: "Perhaps it would be easier to climb down and climb up again from the right?" They told me to forget it and to keep looking for a way, for there definitely had to be at least one. I looked around again and found plenty of places to grab from, which had been so well hidden that pretty much anyone would have missed them. Suddenly climbing had become a lot easier.
Also a couple of nights ago I had an interesting dream. I was walking the streets somewhere in Russia but got lost. There was a little girl from whom I asked for a map. Struggled with my Russian language skills but she took me to a computer at her apartment. While I was checking the map, her mom came home and I had to explain why I was in their apartment. At least with her mom I could speak in English. We sat down and I started trying to recall how I had ended up at the place. While doing so, I think I suddenly realized how I had ended up there, and the dream ended before I could tell the story. I had simply forgotten the rest of the dream due to becoming conscious half-way through.
One of the dreams was related to the disease nibbling at the immune system. Typical dream of sneaking into enemy territory, being spotted and then hiding or escaping because guns typically don't work in dreams. It has been a while since the last time I successfully used invisibility but it worked and I managed to hide from those guys.
The dreams of over-unity generators have been related to kundalini, I think. Quite weak but considering the struggle with emotions and desires, I think it's for the better.
There was still a disease nibbling at the immune system, which caused sneezing and bleeding in my left nostril but perhaps only made the left eye itch a little.
I've been having issues with emotions, desires and expectations, probably due to lack of meditation and pranayama practice. A few weeks ago I visualized the struggle as a memory from when I was little.
I was in the sea with a swimming ring but I had drifted a little too far away from the shore and the wind pushing me away from the shore was too strong for me to swim against. I tried as hard as I could, until I got tired and just gave up. The water was several meters deep and I wasn't comfortable letting go of the ring, either. Some older swimmers saved me.
Anyway, this time regarding the struggle with emotions and desires, the subconscious mind told me to stand up in the water. When I did, I realized that the water was barely up to the knees. Absolutely nothing to be worried about.
Dreams
A couple of nights ago, I had yet another dream of climbing a cliff. I looked around for places to grab from, in order to get further towards the right, for it seemed that it would be easier to reach the top from there. I couldn't find any places to grab from, looked down and asked from the friend at my left: "Perhaps it would be easier to climb down and climb up again from the right?" They told me to forget it and to keep looking for a way, for there definitely had to be at least one. I looked around again and found plenty of places to grab from, which had been so well hidden that pretty much anyone would have missed them. Suddenly climbing had become a lot easier.
Also a couple of nights ago I had an interesting dream. I was walking the streets somewhere in Russia but got lost. There was a little girl from whom I asked for a map. Struggled with my Russian language skills but she took me to a computer at her apartment. While I was checking the map, her mom came home and I had to explain why I was in their apartment. At least with her mom I could speak in English. We sat down and I started trying to recall how I had ended up at the place. While doing so, I think I suddenly realized how I had ended up there, and the dream ended before I could tell the story. I had simply forgotten the rest of the dream due to becoming conscious half-way through.
One of the dreams was related to the disease nibbling at the immune system. Typical dream of sneaking into enemy territory, being spotted and then hiding or escaping because guns typically don't work in dreams. It has been a while since the last time I successfully used invisibility but it worked and I managed to hide from those guys.
The dreams of over-unity generators have been related to kundalini, I think. Quite weak but considering the struggle with emotions and desires, I think it's for the better.
Thursday, January 9, 2020
Vitamin D
That chaos described in my previous post seems to have served no purpose. Maybe except for an old classmate (former friend with whom I haven't talked for years) randomly sending an SMS describing a realization of the effect of random acts on life. He was totally right.
Had to visit occupational health physician for a health check. Everything was more-or-less fine, except for a complete lack of Vitamin D. The doctor recommended like 1000x the normal dose per day. I'll ignore the recommendation and opt for 3x the normal dose per day. My immune system does seem to have improved a bit already. The lack of Vitamin D could also partially explain the sensitivity of the left eye.
Yesterday and the day before I found myself sad for some reason. Not sure if this was due to the stupid politics between the US and Iran or the consequences of my attempt at talking yet another person (on the Discord server) out of suicide. Anyway, it seems to have passed more-or-less.
Had to visit occupational health physician for a health check. Everything was more-or-less fine, except for a complete lack of Vitamin D. The doctor recommended like 1000x the normal dose per day. I'll ignore the recommendation and opt for 3x the normal dose per day. My immune system does seem to have improved a bit already. The lack of Vitamin D could also partially explain the sensitivity of the left eye.
Yesterday and the day before I found myself sad for some reason. Not sure if this was due to the stupid politics between the US and Iran or the consequences of my attempt at talking yet another person (on the Discord server) out of suicide. Anyway, it seems to have passed more-or-less.
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Chaos
Somehow ever since Christmas, things have been rather confusing. No matter what I plan, things seem to end up otherwise.
Failed to visit grandparents in the city for Christmas because I became ill. Dad called and visited them, instead.
Then paid a visit to aunts for New Year's Eve. Regardless of my plans, I had to stay at another place. There was a workday in between, and I had trouble deciding where my colleague would pick me up. Eventually ended up using both addresses (one for departure, the other for arrival). Own family was also confused where I was at at times.
I had planned to visit the grandparents in the city just after the New Year's Eve. Marked some more days as part of my vacation from work. My colleagues are also quite confused about all the unannounced changes in my vacation plan by now, probably. Bought a bus ticket to the city. Then today checked some e-mails from yesterday and found that a few weeks ago I had booked a work-related health check appointment in the home town and it was a couple of hours too late for me to change it. So, had to call grandparents again to postpone the Christmas visit. Since I've already bought the bus ticket to the city, I'd have to take another bus from there to home town in order to make it to the health check appointment the next morning. If I had taken a bus straight to home town, it would've been a 4 h bus trip, now it will be a 6 h bus trip.
Edit: There was also confusion of who would take me to another farm. In the end, two people were ready to take me there, and I had to pick one.
We went to enjoy the fireworks in celebration of the New Year. Grandma wasn't too enthusiastic about coming with us, but eventually aunt took her with us. Once there, grandma wanted to get to the bathroom so I took her to uncle's house. We tried to "break in" straight through the bathroom door but found that none of the keys worked on that door, so eventually we still had to enter through the front door. We more-or-less missed the fireworks (with the exception of the rockets which were fired close enough to be seen over the trees). Since I've seen plenty of New Year celebrations, this random encounter did not really spark any emotions.
This New Year's Eve was a bit special, though. Before and after 00:00, it was quite windy. At 00:00 everything was quiet and the sky was completely clear. It was awesome how well stars could be seen in the background of the fireworks.
I don't know what's going on but it's confusing me and everyone else around me.
Failed to visit grandparents in the city for Christmas because I became ill. Dad called and visited them, instead.
Then paid a visit to aunts for New Year's Eve. Regardless of my plans, I had to stay at another place. There was a workday in between, and I had trouble deciding where my colleague would pick me up. Eventually ended up using both addresses (one for departure, the other for arrival). Own family was also confused where I was at at times.
I had planned to visit the grandparents in the city just after the New Year's Eve. Marked some more days as part of my vacation from work. My colleagues are also quite confused about all the unannounced changes in my vacation plan by now, probably. Bought a bus ticket to the city. Then today checked some e-mails from yesterday and found that a few weeks ago I had booked a work-related health check appointment in the home town and it was a couple of hours too late for me to change it. So, had to call grandparents again to postpone the Christmas visit. Since I've already bought the bus ticket to the city, I'd have to take another bus from there to home town in order to make it to the health check appointment the next morning. If I had taken a bus straight to home town, it would've been a 4 h bus trip, now it will be a 6 h bus trip.
Edit: There was also confusion of who would take me to another farm. In the end, two people were ready to take me there, and I had to pick one.
We went to enjoy the fireworks in celebration of the New Year. Grandma wasn't too enthusiastic about coming with us, but eventually aunt took her with us. Once there, grandma wanted to get to the bathroom so I took her to uncle's house. We tried to "break in" straight through the bathroom door but found that none of the keys worked on that door, so eventually we still had to enter through the front door. We more-or-less missed the fireworks (with the exception of the rockets which were fired close enough to be seen over the trees). Since I've seen plenty of New Year celebrations, this random encounter did not really spark any emotions.
This New Year's Eve was a bit special, though. Before and after 00:00, it was quite windy. At 00:00 everything was quiet and the sky was completely clear. It was awesome how well stars could be seen in the background of the fireworks.
I don't know what's going on but it's confusing me and everyone else around me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)