Welcome

The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Friday, August 31, 2012

Sparkly figure

Have been more focused on work recently. Sorry for that, especially because I've noticed how every time I focus away from the weird, the same happens with other people in the community. I can't fully dedicate myself to something, without affecting other aspects.

Yesterday I saw something slowly crawl across the table, up to the laptop and disappear. In 3d, it was a formless transparent figure, with random tiny golden orb sparkles moving around inside or something. Looked away and back in different ways for multiple times and still found it crawling there. So, it wasn't a clump of eye floaters nor eye strain. Don't know what it was, but it looked harmless and, actually, somewhat cute.

A couple of nights ago I had a dream I considered interesting. I was put in a box, to see what I would do. Can't remember a ceiling, but the walls and floor looked somewhat soft and plastic (similar to wet cardboard). Everything in the box had rotten to dark and the stench of energy there seemed pretty toxic. The goal was to solve the puzzle and get out. Walked to the closest wall, there was a pillar with a tiny box on top of it; touched it, the tiny box nearly fell down. Walked back and looked around. Walked to the center of the room, just to check out what was there. Looked like an old airlock with some pieces of cloth around it. Started moving air around with pk. With movement, the air started to produce ambient light, the box eventually lost its darkness and I could no longer sense it (became transparent).

Edit: The dream was inspired by this video:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=451_1345954346

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Teachy discussions

Sometimes it's pretty rewarding to discuss the weird with fans of the scientific method. Had a thrilling discussion yesterday on para-web, about "Does consciousness reside in the brain?" Thanks to Chaos, I learned a lot from my replies. Also, learned about some of the controversies of modern science. Remembered some physics, quantum mechanics and quotes from old physics teachers and professors.

The psi field is becoming denser and it feels as if it has become more fluid-like again. Dreams have become a lot more lucid. Usually remember multiple dreams in the morning. Though, the dreamscapes have been rather solemn. Daily life has been more cheery.

Suddenly became really hungry today. Came home and ate a lot of meat and salad. Usually I can't eat meat much, as it would make me feel sick. Maybe it's because it was a rather cold day, in comparison to others.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Patience and control

Some mid-day sleeping today too, with attempts to stay lucid.

Had difficulties controlling the emotions again. Unbearably pleasant psi pressure in the abdomen region was the cause. Tried to move it up the spine with the help of pranayama. However, the pressure was back in just a few minutes. Then attempted to move it up with intent or will. This intent or will originated from somewhere deeper than usual.

Sometimes, there would be the feeling of a large chunk of dense psi or consciousness moved in the body, resulting in a strong floaty feeling.

Feeling really energetic and lightweight again.

Occasionally had difficulties with patience, due to being so energized. Took some of the tedious tasks head-on to overcome this. Amazingly rewarding.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Blue


For the last couple of days, I've found it a bit more difficult to achieve the stillness of the mind. Felt quite tired and slept most of the day off, trying to stay lucid.

Somehow felt possessed by DestinyBlue today.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Another weird

With a few friends, visited a foreign student from India yesterday. She told amazing stories of weretigers, ghosts and black magic.

Learned that a weretiger would leave their human body and materialize the physical body of a tiger (with a few human properties). Any injuries to the new body are carried with the soul back to the human body (which might not show up in that body).

One of her ideas was that one might be experiencing sleep paralysis because of being haunted by someone or some thing. Haven't thought about it this way before.

Well, sister used to be haunted some years ago. It dawned on me that with a friend, they had once attempted to summon a soul. I just more-or-less observed. Anyway, this might be what started to haunt her later on. Her sleep paralysis experience almost always featured the face of her "follower".

As for black magic, the foreign student told stories of black magic being practised on her relatives. The stuff from FullMetal Alchemist and a lot of old horror stories might be a lot more real and serious than I've ever dared to think. So primitive desires and yet so much power .. why and how's that even possible?

From this perspective, I think I understand why people seek seclusion from their everyday horrors and go meditate somewhere in the mountains. Somehow I've born into one of the most comfy environments for spiritual development. It's so much harder for so many people.

The discussion continued far into the night. Came home from work, straight to bed and slept for 4 hours. There was a neat pull out of body.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Low vibes?

Father came home yesterday. Felt considerably more tangled in the Maya yesterday.

The psi channels near the heart and throat chakras have shrunk, causing psi to pile up and induce pain. Also, the astral body had become dirty yet again. I wonder how it happens so quickly. Just washed it in the dreams on Tuesday. Cleaned the ears, too.

Practised some pranayama before bed again. Some more of that thick psi moved up into the head. It then felt as if the head were under pressure, pressing ear drums outward.

Meditated on emptiness and stillness in the body. Started experiencing vibrations familiar from pre-OBE. However, the frequency of the vibrations was way too low (close to 1 Hz) for the soul to be detached from the body. Waited for the feelings to subside and increased the frequency again, attempting to heal the body while doing so.

Had pretty gloomy dreams. An attempt at convincing a mass-murderer onto his spiritual path.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Next dimension

Realised another mistake I've so often made in meditation. Although it might seem simpler to meditate on the formless everywhere around oneself, it's more important to meditate on the soul inside them. I guess it might be especially true during times of transition, when the frequencies of external objects could be lower than the frequencies inside. By keeping focus on the external objects, one would just ground themselves more on the mainstream dimensions, making it more difficult to actually sense beyond.

iJodix's brother shared an inspiring video yesterday:
This veil between dimensions as they describe it .. seems rather similar to what I've called "the yellow light" or perhaps what Owltwelve has described as "the white light". Also, the way everything can be perceived when there's that yellow light .. it really seems similar to looking at the 3 dimensional world from the 4th.

Practiced some pranayama and meditated before bed again. Intending for the crown and 3rd eye to open up. Just visualising the crown petals and looking at them was quite pleasurable.

Slept twice yesterday. Tried to stay lucid for as long as possible, throughout the night. It seems the weather might've gone close to 0*C at night, which might've helped a little.

Remembered some of the dreams and felt rather energetic in the morning.

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Took a couple of photos of the monochrome flower graffiti on the path to work and back home.
One of the first that I noticed in this town.

Noticed this one on the asphalt when
I took a longer path home yesterday.
Link to the original post on the monochrome flower construct.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Lucid gaming

Tried a driving simulator yesterday. It sucked a lot. But later found that I could remember dreams better.

Stumbled upon this blog post: http://blog.gamerthink.com/2010/03/game-buddha-my-ignitephilly-talk.html.

Last year I met Jayne Gackenbach, a Psychologist, who researches the relationship between video game play and dreams. One of her studies showed that people who play violent first person shooters, are more likely to have violent dreams. Not a big surprise. The cool thing is, those same people exhibit more lucidity in their dreams, greater agency. And they suffer less misfortune because of it. As a gamer and lucid dreamer, this makes intuitive sense to me. Playing a video game is a lot like being in a low-fi lucid dream.
I've also been wondering about the subject of video games for enlightenment. Also, while playing, I've occasionally practised staying lucid. It's just that I haven't thought about it this way before.

Interestingly, his blog seems to have been hacked, so you'll need to disable scripts to be able to actually visit it.

Edit: He fixed it.

Holiday

Nice..
On Saturday, I didn't feel like going to work on Monday. Today it turned out it's a holiday and nobody's here. Shall walk back home then.. =D

Took a 2x longer path home, attempting to meditate on the way.

On one of the buildings I walked past, the flag had become tangled. Formed a reverse wind vortex that released the flag.

The feeling of connectivity was amazing. Walked past a bridge, where they were doing some construction work. There was a big block of concrete. While walking past it, acquired the feeling of it as well as the feeling of it leaning towards me. That sort of surprised me; didn't want it to fall on me and stopped the practice.

Edit: Someone had made a graffiti on the asphalt there. The symbol of the monochrome flower that I had visualized a long time ago.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

A tough read

The Secret Doctrine is pretty tough to read. A lot of terminology from India, some sayings in Latin and pretty much the rest is unknown English for me (have no expertise on philosophy, theology, history or philology of old civilisations). Even though that's actually one of the main reasons I went to school in the first place .. to study the forgotten mysteries of ancient civilisations. How disappointed I was in the first class =D.

Haven't been doing sports for quite some time now. Sitting work has caused a lot of psi to pile up in the abdomen region. This, in turn, has been causing stomach problems. While cultivating psi on Friday, and moving it up the spine, nose started to bleed. A flu?

Have been trying to meditate on the formless in motion now. Feels remarkably better than trying to focus on formless without motion.

Yesterday and today it occasionally happened that I would feel a blob of heat next to the skin of my arm, just out of the blue.

For a second, a bright white orb appeared on the left hand and moved with it.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Secret Doctrine

Found The Secret Doctrine by Blavatsky, thanks to the para-web forum.
.. and perhaps thanks to FullMetal Alchemist as well.
Edit: A few quotes that made me realise something. Obvious, really, but from a different point of view.

That which is motionless cannot be Divine. But then there is nothing in fact and reality absolutely motionless within the universal soul.

~The Secret Doctrine Vol.1 p.2



Realised that I had been focusing on the formless without motion and sensed nothing there. However, the formless in motion should be possible to focus on.

Intra-Cosmic motion is eternal and ceaseless; cosmic motion (the visible, or that which is subject to perception) is finite and periodical.

~The Secret Doctrine Vol.1 p.3

Reminded me of Fourier Transform, where time and frequency are simply different points of view on the same thing. It's just that most measurement equipment (as well as our bodily sensors) measure in respect to time, not frequency. On the other hand, the extra-senses in respect to frequency. Or, at least that's the impression of the feelings.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Good old friend

FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood was amazing. A lot of inspiration and new ideas on the weird.

There's a new member to our team from today's morning. Looked into his eyes for a split-second and recognised him. He's another good old friend .. from a past life or from a dream? He had changed a lot. Felt inspired by his presence.

There was something from the meditation session or from the dreams yesterday, but forgot what I wanted to blog.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Resonant form

Got into a discussion with Dad yesterday. For some reason, I don't like discussions too much, because they're slow and take a lot of time. On the other hand, I love them
because they yield interesting ideas and bring more light to how the universe works. Habits need some debugging.

Said I was interested in learning about the form and to focus on the formless. By seeing form from the viewpoint of the formless, it should be possible to alter and create form. Hint at FullMetal Alchemist.

We're taught that the characteristics of an object cause the object to have resonant frequencies. Father proposed that it's the resonant frequencies that form patterns in the energy field, causing the object in the first place.

Dad described the current world-political situation. Shielded his constructs of negative emotions from the surrounding environment, pushed them back and influenced him to let the constructs dissolve. These constructs have never felt as real.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Way to go, sis!

Sister made a ~ 400 km trip in a single day with a broken bicycle. Its rear wheel fell off every now and then. She'll be on a trip back soon. I bow before her renunciation and faith. Seriously, I wouldn't have expected that from her.
--------------------------
Read some more Bhagavad Gita and found that I've been using urge and desire to push my spiritual development. There can't be any proper development until it's bound to desires. Have to just do it, like before.

Experienced a flashback of one life. Not the first one from that one. Used to be into zero-point energy experiments, psychokinesis and meditation there as well, I guess. A lot of the experiments I performed on the bed, which was always covered with a carpet (which has triggered the memory of it twice - once when I saw a youtube video with someone performing pk experiments near a similar bed). A couple of meditation sessions with the sun rays shining through the curtains and observing the dust particles while out of body.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Cycles of Meru

Grandparents had a wedding anniversary and Dad and I had to travel to the capital for the weekend. A boring bus trip, had a lot of difficulties trying to meditate on the bus.

Being bored at grandparents' place, I chose to read excerpts from the Encyclopedia of Eastern Mythology again. The description of the great mountain ridge with golden palaces at the center of the universe. The allegory of churning the elixir of immortality out of the great ocean of the universe. This still puzzles me a lot.

It was said that Brahma (the creator of the universe) creates the universe each morning and absorbs it each evening. That each universe begins with a Golden Age and ends with an age similar to what's currently in progress. Similar cycles (jugas) were present in Matrix, Tron and described in a lot of religions all around the world.

The description of Maitreja was quite interesting. Maitreja was / will be the last earthly buddha, 30 000 years into the future? What I found most interesting, though, was that Asanga managed to summon him back into the past to aid him on his path of enlightenment.

Other people were discussing what they liked and disliked, what costs how much and where and so on. Felt it all being so insignificant that I left and just meditated a lot. It was amazing, but made me feel quite alienated from this world.
---------------------------------
Attempted pk on one of the candles .. nothing happened.

Fancied eating a piece of a cake, which had been meant for the children only (too small a cake). After waking up from the meditation, found a piece of that cake on my plate.

After the meditation, we discussed something with an uncle. Almost at the same time, the news started, showing stuff very closely related to the subjects under discussion. For example, uncle wanted to visit the small island Ruhnu (according to father, it was quite busy with tourists this summer). They showed about tourism on another small island in the news (which was quite busy with tourists this summer as well). Father had also mentioned the son of their passed-away uncle working a lot on the seas. And there were news about the school, in which he's studying.
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Friday, August 10, 2012

Collective attention


I wonder what this is about.

Why is it that while walking home, lost in thoughts, accidents start happening around me. Sometimes it's just that someone drives past, dozes off and almost crashes into another car ahead. Sometimes it's someone accidentally leaning on the button of the horn signal. Occasionally someone either falls or drops something when I'm not in the surroundings. Recently, a bicycle driver went too close to the edge of the road and nearly crashed. Another one just fell over after driving past me. Then, today morning, one simply drove into the bushes and almost performed a somersault over the bush. The list continues..

Sure, stuff that I'm not focused on, is out of my control, but why would it be out of the control of others? Are all the thoughts really so literally their thoughts too? Or is it that we're all used to experiencing stuff from a wide range of sources so that when one of them is busy, it has such an effect (from this point of view, being lost in thoughts can be considered selfish - should lend thy senses to beings around thou)? Or is it just that a field around the body reflects the mind and interferes with the fields of others?

Lift, suddenly

Realized I hadn't practiced pk for a while, especially levitation. Focused on the feeling of upward pull in the morning .. got absorbed in the feeling of lift for a second. I'm not sure if it was just the astral body that became a lot lighter or the physical body as well. Throughout the day, the body felt lighter.

Some days ago, a friend lent his equipment and we set up to tinker with coils, magnets and zero-point energy a little. Haven't reached COP > 1 yet, but it's really interesting to play with. A lot of ideas and schematics in the "Practical Guide to Free Energy Devices".

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Skandha

Owltwelve shared a link to this amazing page:
The Aumara Light and Healing Circle: Breaking through the Form Skandha - Experiences in Hinduism, Taosim, Buddhism.
by Bill Bodri

Tried to meditate on the emptiness, but found form in what I used to call emptiness. Also, the target of guru yoga should be formless. With everything about form, it's quite difficult to grasp the formless. The flow of psi already is form, as it has a pattern.

While trying to defocus from the form, the consciousness still had form, a vague shape reminiscent of the body (out of habit).

Sometimes the mind wandered. Somewhere inside the central channel, visuals of a strange blue frozen crystal appeared. With the closed eyes lowered from the forehead, I started seeing the sky with clouds forming and disappearing, when a thought or feeling would arise.

Yawn-party

Found an interesting haunting case on para-web. Had a chat with a culprit, hope it helps and she would be able to solve the problem. She was engulfed in darkness, but perhaps she'll be able to change.

Planned on meditating for an hour. What a yawn-party.. especially when I tried khechari mudra. With the tongue at the roof of the mouth, the vibrations changed as if the flow of prana? in the bottom and top of the body had looped together.

Cleaned the inside, shiny gems came out from under the dust. Wondered what I should do with the dust. Some of the dust contained fibres and was thicker, some of it consisted of smaller particles. Had the stuff move down the drain and go into the Sushumna flame for burning up.

Visualized the flame burning everywhere in the body, burning any dust that might've snuck away while washing. Visualized the body heating up and bindu blockages melting some. Started sweating as the vibration of the flames could be felt everywhere in the body.

Remembered an image of spontaneous combustion of people. Stopped doing it. Need to research more on that.

Stopped the session with the yawn-party at its happy-hour. Ended up with just a 15 minutes session.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Possession

Yesterday morning, found the sleeve of a sweater twitching with pk.

A lot of psi blockages all around the body. Head feels sort of 'closed' and occasionally it hurts.

There was a post on para-web, where someone had started to feel the presence of someone else in their body after being dead for a few seconds. A couple of members mentioned the habit of smoking or drinking as being possessed by spirits that enjoy it. Interesting idea of one experiencing emotions and feelings while being present in others experiencing the same. And that when they become addicted to these emotions and feelings, then they would feed on the target experiencing it more. When the target would then become liberated from the experience, the "leeches" would either have to find new targets or become liberated as well.

What a soup of intermixed and diffused souls it is.

Edit: Synchronicity with Dark Passengers by DestinyBlue on DeviantArt:

Dark Passengers by *DestinyBlue on deviantART

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Nightly discussion

The weather has become quite cool. Gathered on top of a tower in Elistvere yesterday and discussed zero-point energy, world politics, aliens, psionics. Dad, me, a few friends and some of their friends.

Noticed that I had become a little scared of heights again. Though, within about a minute, it dissipated. Also, it's been quite a while since levitation practice.

Although being in cold environment seems to boost pk, I couldn't feel the constructs of heat there that would sometimes appear around the body.

I guess the throat chakra opened up a bit more there. Speech skill leaped suddenly.

Realized that I haven't experienced snapping for months now. I wonder what happen. =)

Gradually noticing more and more of the sound of the psi channels around the body. Floatiness and occasional leaning out of body seems to be coming back, too.

Edit: Awesome, practiced pranayama for just a few breaths and a lot of psi moved up the spine. Suddenly made me feel dizzy and hungry. Waves of heat moving up, happiness manifesting.