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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Thursday, April 27, 2017

Pijamaman to the rescue!

Proper sleep is so good.

Dreamt of a girl taming a spirit. Experienced it as a cloud of consciousness from both perspectives.

Woke up and went back to bed. Had a lucid dream. Realized it was a dream when I checked the time and found it highly nonlinear. Also, some people were a bit surprised to find me in pijamas (tho, I don't even use those). Started flying around, flying through walls and doors. Some unknown streets and buildings. I knew I had set a goal for whenever I had a lucid dream or OBE. Took me perhaps 10 seconds of standing mid-air and trying to remember what it was. Flying to space! Darted upwards, went higher and higher and .. well, higher. But there were a couple of issues:
  • My levitation wasn't stable enough and I started wobbling. Noticed that I had subconsciously adopted the technique of a collision plane under my feet. An unstable technique, I know. By flying without crutches there would be no wobbling.
  • I wasn't fast enough to gain enough altitude in a reasonable amount of time. I'm not really sure what limits the speed of flight in dreams. Sometimes it's just really slow and cannot be overridden, sometimes it can be and sometimes it's lightning-fast already.
Didn't get to space in that dream.

https://vimeo.com/141723508

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Butterleaf

It happened twice today that the laptop registered a button press before I even stretched my finger to push it.

A nice and stormy day. It seemed as if the storm were following me or something. Went outside to enjoy the show. Leaves spiralling around, then flying in flocks like birds. One leaf flew higher than the others and headed towards the building. There it flew from window to window, looking inside .. moving around almost like a butterfly.

Cattle herder

One day I missed a bus back home from work. That's because the bus went the other way - in the opposite direction from home and then turned around after a large circle. Then one day I took the bus to see where it goes. All sorts of interesting places with amazing scenery. Even though I still had urgent work to do, I really enjoyed just sitting there and letting the bus take me to random places. Lakes, valleys, a field with ostriches, nice houses. Then in the meantime I figured out the bugs in the code. Work done as well, yay.

That day I also realized that I had been trying to focus on the wrong chakras (heart or crown, both of which had "run dry"). It matters which one of them is blocking the most (has the most tension). I had semi-subconsciously piled up tension in my stomach. Focusing there for even just a moment suddenly released a sense of compassion, warmth and love. Psi then moved up to the next chakra, so that continued focus in the stomach no longer helped again.

One other day I missed the last bus back home. Apparently the last bus also goes the opposite way. Went back to work, then came back and tried hitchhiking. There were hardly any cars going towards the town that late. In any case, none of them stopped. A beautiful evening actually .. a clear sky and warm air. Felt almost like walking in a witch's forest. Tried visualizing myself home, then back some times though nothing happened yet. So I camped on the office floor again. Second time already, so it felt comfortable enough to actually sleep.

Must've fallen asleep in a strange position, blocking a vein or something. At least that's what I suspect for causing a very awkward dream. I'm somewhere random when a couple of aliens appear. Everything about them seems funny. They look like soft toys, their movements are cartoonish and they take everything through love and humour. Or rather, from their perspective, the universe itself isn't very serious. They are not afraid of anything and take things the way they are, or perhaps even less seriously. Just a second after their arrival something is released and I feel my head flowing full of blood. They give me an octopus-like hat that relieves the blood pressure spike in the head. They then ask me to come with them. They go upstairs where I spot a sink. I take the octopus hat off and pour it empty into the sink. They ask me to come with them into the other room. The room is dark, can't see much in there. Almost like an attic of some sort. These two funny fellows point at a strange creature in the corner. To me, the creature seems dangerous. However, then I realize that it's no more dangerous than the octopus hat anyway. The funny fellows say something along the lines of "a cow needs personal treatment". Random, eh? Not for me.

At that moment I realized a few things:
  1. In my dreams, the symbol cow = body.
  2. By letting cattle into the pasture and expecting them to do their job is ignorant of their traits, personalities. Now, that's exactly how I've treated this body for most of the time. In fact, that's how most people do it. They don't care about the body for as long as it does its job. And when it no longer does, they run for a doctor to see which screws need to be tightened.
  3. Like any domesticated animals, cows need taming before they can be reliably subjected to man's will. Same holds true for the body. Walking, talking, etiquettes, etc. This has a side-effect, though - it severs the connection between the body and the mind. It makes it very difficult to notice any signals that the body might be sending about its status, needs and desires. A bit sad.
  4. Each body has its own personality and traits. Almost like training a dragon or practising out with a new sword - the master must learn to know their weapon like themselves. Or the other way around.
  5. A lot of what we think are bodily urges or feelings, are constructs of the mind, materialized in the body. The body can be thought of as a live scaffolding on which the mind imprints programs. Perhaps human soul is not native to human body? Perhaps the human body is designed to be hosted by a human soul, designed to have barely any functionality without it?
All in all, body is not a tool. A tool is a well-tamed body. Over-taming and lack of compassion lead to cruelty. Cruelty, not asketicism.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Crunchtime

A few 16-hour workdays and slept a night at work again. Had lunch the next afternoon. Ate pastries and cookies and drank smoothie. Happened to glance at the smoothie package and couldn't help but burst out laughing. Childish drawings and some text about a lazy banana who (what) makes sure that people rest and don't work overtime.

At that moment it re-occurred to me that I expect people to feel compassion for me for working overtime. Since this is bulls, I realized that in general whenever someone expects others to do something, it means they aren't doing it themselves (or at least not doing it well enough). In other words, I'm the one who should feel compassion for myself, not anyone else. By depriving oneself of something, one may fail to notice that they're subconsciously looking for other ways to acquire it.

Stress-psychology aside.


One night in the optics lab a colleague described having a strange experience just a moment before. As he was looking at a specific spot, the whole image he saw just shifted. This used to happen to me quite often when I practised psychokinesis and meditation a lot more. I used to think of it as a shift of consciousness.

Not really related but watched "Arrival" on the bus yesterday and it was awesome! On par with Interstellar in terms of a good message that was also played out very well. Very interesting concepts that got me thinking about how time works again. Also read a couple of paranormal cases from a new magazine that appeared on the shelves at the stores. Spaceships that disappeared and re-appeared later; airplanes that went back in time and then reappeared in the present; some guy who went missing in his backyard, reappeared and then re-disappeared. Actually, I gave the article to my sister to read and she recognized some of what the man had described. A woman in the darkness, telling about how it's difficult to get back to a specific point in time. She suspects it was the same woman who urged her to take her chance of rebirth. It seems as if there were windows of time when portals could be created to specific places in space-time. Perhaps a complex system of stellar and planetary alignments (aka astrology) that bend the space-time through gravity in such a way that makes it difficult to orient and easy to miss the opportunity to find one's way back.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Haunted villa

Dreamfall Chapters was amazing. Very inspiring.

More-or-less regular dreams until I checked on sister. She had just painted the doors and window frames of a huge house. I joined the dream and started looking around the building. A villa of some sort, with large windows and a very high ceiling. It was degrading gradually, as some termites had found their way into the building. Walked from room to room until I got to the spacious living room (I think). It had a large terrace and the terrace doors were slightly open, with wind blowing in. I closed the doors because it seemed like it might start raining soon. A damp summer day with thick clouds, which typically means rain. The moment I did that, a cat appeared in the room. The cat went crazy, indicating that there was an entity in the room. While I did notice it, I purposefully did not pay much attention to it. Though, now it paid attention to me. The entity did not seem malicious but it wanted to swallow me / merge with me. My psi field was not very strong at that moment, so I just formed a bubble shield, turned around and made my way towards the exit. The bubble rippled as the entity tried to force its way through. I think the entity had control over the whole room, as I could not move fast .. it felt as if moving in water. Although the entity did not seem malicious and I remained calm, I noticed that I was breathing heavily. As I returned to the body, I heard it breathing heavily as well. Interesting. I hope that the entity did not follow, even though it would've been easy for it to do so (teleported straight back). Doesn't feel like it followed.