Becoming younger

An interesting remark from a colleague today: "You're becoming younger!"

Recently I've been seeing flashes of golden light from around the head. Saw the golden light for a longer duration today as well. It's interesting that at first it's easier to see it during a cloudy day.

Came home, ate and took a nap (which is different from the usual routine). Managed to slip deep into the meditative half-dream states without falling asleep.

Cloudmatrix of 2-4

Today morning I woke up and looked outside of the balcony window. Two point-shaped clouds vertically on top of each other.

• Tidied the bed, looked again - the lower point had turned into two point-shaped clouds. 
• Packed the laptop, looked again - another point had appeared between the lower two points.
• Paid a visit to the toilet, came back - still those 4 dots, now slowly fading away.

Interesting..

A very hectic day that was. Ah, also saw pastries in my mind's eye when I thought about lunch today morning. Questioned that, because I wasn't feeling like eating pastries for lunch.

An hour past lunchtime. Yay .. nah, too long a queue. Let's go to the other diner. Too long a queue. Ok whatever, let's just go to the store and buy pastries, then.

Theory of time

Someone proposed an interesting theory on time, at reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Paranormal/comments/4c8fvx/i_see_people_when_theyre_not_really_there_xpost/d1gfq27

This got me excited and I wrote a PM about the implications of a finite vs. infinite universe:
https://www.reddit.com/message/messages/58daav

Let's see where it goes. Maybe we'll figure out something about space-time, after all.

Uncommon details

Nothing paranatural. Just uncommon or odd.
 On Saturday I visited grandparents for Easter. A neighbour of theirs commented on me having become a lot more skinny. On the way back, there was a smokard. The driver stopped the bus and gave him a warning. People were like: "What a freak. I hope someone beats him." The next time he stopped the bus and had police take the man away. Without judging or looking around, I focused on watching the "Theory of Everything" .. which was about Time (a bit related to the previous post). In fact, I hadn't even noticed the smell of smoke.

A very warm day yester-day. The cat behaved strange. It fought with the air, then stared at a single spot for a minute. Whined a lot, then hopped up to the shelf but instead of eating plants, the cat simply laid down for rest (odd). Moreover, the cat clearly looked at the top of my head several times.

There have been some indicators of the crown opening a little bit. Also, that wobbling of space-time is there again.

Skinny? Did 30 push-ups.
Hmm .. used to do 70 in a single go without problems.
A minute later I felt the urge to do some more push-ups. Did 45.

Attempted levitation practice last night. Didn't get very far. In the dreams, I climbed up spiral stairs in an unknown building, with a heavy backpack. The backpack wore out my back but I made it to the top. Then in another dream I also realized I have my heavy backpack leaning against me. Well, an obvious reaction to a heavy backpack - started doing pushups with it.

Today morning I took a bus to work. A pretty day .. and a hiker sleeping at the bus stop. Pondered about it a while, then went back to ask if he wanted to go somewhere warm. A mumble, indicating drunk status. Me: "well, whatever." His equipment looked rather expensive and well taken care of. Those rich bums these days .. or maybe an immigrant? Why was a national flag sticking out of his pillow .. err .. backpack?

I usually imagine myself hiking in rugs, pretty much.

I've been exploring the correlation of relaxation, attitude and emotions vs. tension in the abdomen. Well, it is a function of all of them. One of the main causes for this blob of thick discomfort in the stomach / abdomen is depression. Already visualizing a bright light spanning the room helps it disintegrate. Strange that regular detachment doesn't help. Also, each time it breaks down into smaller blobs, heat is released into the central channel. I think it's blocking the entry point to the central channel, which is why I had so much trouble with celibacy. The way to go is to release the energy that has already accumulated, instead of trying to fit more in there.

Life is Strange Indeed

The inspiration continued. Stumbled on "Life Is Strange" in my Steam Library. Had bought it at a discount. I'm amazed at how immersive games can be even without any VR gear. I've seen only a handful movies that have touched that deeply. This is the only game that has gone that deep and that personal. Somewhat creepy, even. It was very difficult to crawl back out of it .. and try to fit in in the "outside" (the game that players like to call reality :) again. Empaths, beware!

Life Is Strange really excels at providing a wide variety of viewpoints to the same situations. Very much like Crash (2004) but as a video game.

While pondering about the lessons on Space-time in the game, I realized that the majority of the anime, movies I've watched and the games I've played recently .. they're all related. Even though I haven't consciously sought for time-travel, it has still ended up that way. A list:

• Life Is Strange (obvious, right?)
• Boku dake ga Inai Machi (almost like a reflection of Life Is Strange. These two are so alike that it's somewhat suspicious.)
• Steins;Gate
• Interstellar
• Project Almanac
• Final Fantasy XIII
• Divinity: Original Sin
• Transistor

Something obvious that I realized just today: the persistence of constructs also applies for the manipulation of space-time (duh, as it applies to psychokinesis in general). Well, that took me long. Anyway, this means that the more one fiddles with space-time, the less stable it becomes for everyone. Persistent space-time portals might be tricky, then. Because they would be basically like tiny black holes slowly desintegrating the fabric of reality around them. Father might be right in saying that teleportation must happen quickly.

In psychokinesis, so far I've had very few experiences of time manipulation. Way too few to learn enough first-hand. So I'm grateful to whatever I stumble upon =D.

The End of Time

Flipped the bed again. Dreams have been quite random.

Last week while on the way back from work, there was a field with a lot of white orbs flying around. The orbs were only visible from peripheral vision. Looked at them & away for a lot of times.

I'm close to finishing "Divinity: Original Sin Enhanced Edition". An excellent tactical RPG. Haven't tried multiplayer yet, but already the single player is exceptionally good. Armed with inspiration from the game, I intended to visit "The End of Time" while asleep. I guess it didn't happen. However, the daily events were rather strange. As if I had consciously planned or foreseen the whole day. Everything from the choice of clothes, registering on a car in the carpool up until the end of the last meeting .. everything looked as if carefully planned and thought through. Very interesting.


While packing stuff today morning, my mousepad stuck to a cardboard box and fell on the chair. The mousepad features a painting of Guru Padmasambhava. Used the chance to apply some Vajrayana practice, in addition to spontaneous visualization of mudras (these changed throughout the day). While coming home, I realized the meaning of many hands on Hindu deities. I suspect that each deity represents a path, whereas each hand represents the different aspects of the path that need attention. In other words, the deities could be maintaining focus on all the aspects. Usually all the hands and feet have either a different mudra or there's a different object that the deity holds in each hand. It could also be that all the aspects come from the deities' different planes of existence (a multitude of subtle bodies, each refined to perform a specific task).

Pull yourself together

Today was like a 180 degree flip of yesterday. Though, I think it started on Sunday. On Sunday, the cat vomited. I wondered why cat did but I didn't. For the whole day, the cat didn't feel too well.

Also on Sunday I visited the youngest uncle again, replaced a couple of capacitors on his desktop PC motherboard, installed a couple of new SATA cables and solved a configuration issue. Casually mentioned that I was quite inspired by Keanu Reeves' shooting practice video that had recently gone viral on FB. For me, the uncle still resembles Neo from The Matrix. A lot of my life inspiration comes from the uncle. He was a teenager when I was a few years old. Back then he regularly practised Karate and fighting with sticks. He also meditated at the seaside every morning during sunrise. At night, he practised light-stepping and sensing the environment in pitch black darkness. While sleeping, he practised OBE. Occasionally with the youngest uncle and the youngest aunt we would enjoy an evening tea in the old barn house, having intelligent discussions of existential questions .. reading stories of great yogis and saints. To top it off, uncle played the guitar and sang. He even had a band where he played electric guitar. That all changed when he turned towards religion and got married. He said he still watches a lot of Kung Fu movies. In relation to this, I decided that I want to restart my Karate training at some point.

Sunday night, I went digging for old scars in the mind or subtle bodies and realized an interesting concept.

Imagine a sphere of a gradually increasing diameter. Let's say the sphere gets a scar and as it grows, the area of the scar also grows larger. As time progresses, small scars appear on top of the large old scars. It starts to look like a fractal landscape or something, with ridges and mountains growing out of ridges and mountains. At some moment it's difficult to tell the old scars apart from the landscape. But also, the old scars have shaped all the other landscape features that have formed on top.

Rooted out one of those old scars and fell asleep. A lot of tension was released in the abdomen. Woke up and had diarrhea. Wasn't feeling too well that day. Shivered occasionally (for me it was cold) and found it quite difficult to form sentences. One of the colleagues mentioned he thought he smelled something burning and then suddenly the smell was gone. This reminded me that I had also had a similar event on Sunday (the smell of something too warm in a room without such heat sources).

Monday night I removed the pillow and slept on my back again, hoping for an OBE or something. Practised pulling myself together (literally, but shall explain that later). Somehow this associated with a spontaneous visualization of sitting at a bonfire, where the bonfire and the one sitting both felt like myself. In the physical realm, the bonfire happened to be located roughly at the heart chakra. At the same time, there was a tension at the third eye, I think. Also, a strong smell of clay burning was in the air. Eventually the heart chakra gave way and the blob of heat moved up to the head. Tried to maintain it at the bindu on top of the head but it wasn't enough to melt it open. Fell asleep.

A violent and "meh" dream of something medieval. Mayhaps I've played too much Divinity again?

Suddenly I woke from the dream as a face appeared in front of me. I was sleeping while partially inside the wall, near the corner of the room. I found it strange that the ceiling was not white. Instead, there was wallpaper all over it. Very carefully did I observe the face that was staring at me. The face had distinct characteristics that had a faint similarity to the deceased uncle. But this was not my uncle. There was a Russian man in his 60s (I guess) staring at me. His eyebrows were white, his eyes were more apart than usual (but it still looked normal). Hmm .. wrote brown eyes at first, but when I think about it, it should've been gray eyes. He had faintly noticeable eye bags and wrinkles. Overall, his face was very vivid and consistent - nothing seemed abnormal or out of the ordinary. Well, except for the fact that he was in my room - entities shouldn't enter here. He had an aura of a long-time martial arts practitioner (blunt but at the same time accurate and gentle). He listed everything that was wrong with me:

• low concentration,
• low willpower,
• indecisiveness,
• lack of enthusiasm to wake up early,
• lack of enthusiasm to work,
• etc..

Wanted to object to some of his claims but realized it wouldn't be of any use.

He said some stuff that did not make too much sense (proposed a basic exercise, I think). He then asked questions, expecting me to answer .. in Russian? Come on ..

To be honest, out of political circumstances and propaganda, I'm a bit prejudiced against Russia and very cautious of people speaking Russian. Especially when they "invade" my dreamscape (the most sacred spot of land that the ego has).

Tried waking up for a few times, but could not.

He left the view, towards the right and also phased into the wall. He then asked me something that I did not understand. Asked him "Što?" As a response, he slapped me because I shouldn't have even needed words for communication. It didn't hurt, in fact, I was surprised it was so weak that I barely felt it at all. Anyway, he asked me to imagine summer trainees from India and describe to him what they are like (without actually speaking). In order to do this, I had to climb out of the wall and move to the middle of the room because otherwise he wouldn't have seen anything (he was embedded in the wall, after all). At first I tried to portray the physical characteristics of them (darker skin, usually a bit brighter clothing). So far I've gotten the impression that they are always very active and enthusiastic, but didn't get an idea how to express that. Then it occurred to me that the last summer student was very talkative but lacked in deep concentration. Following an attempt at expressing that, the strange man started laughing, leaned backwards through the wall and disappeared. Woke up instantaneously. Five minutes before the morning alarm (even though today I didn't actually need to wake up that early).

Pulling myself together.. If you imagine an enlightened being, then they would be a whole. In order to be a whole, one should associate value to existing and being a whole. Nowadays there's a lot of info and misinfo moving around, some of which is contradicting. On one hand, one should let go of themselves and give up everything. On another hand, one should value themselves. I had sort of given up the value of being a whole .. and disintegrated partially (lost the point of existence). Instead, it's more meaningful to integrate oneself, as opposed to derivation. Thus, literally pulling myself together by focusing both attentions inside the body and trying to keep them there. Otherwise there wouldn't be much of a chance of melting the bindu points and achieving the mind and body of a Buddha.

Hiked through rain to a meeting (or a day of meetings). Sometimes saw the all-permeating light through the clouds and asphalt. Today it was exceptionally easy to form sentences. A lot of meetings in foreign languages .. and everything seemed to have gone quite fluently.

A lot of blab. Just like this blog post. Very talkative but a lack of deep concentration. Sweet irony, which is worth laughing over .. laughing so hard that one would fall through the wall backwards. Sigh.

The psi thickens

Something is changing indeed. A thicker blob of psi has formed and moves around with focus. Today morning I woke up in a cloud of thicker psi. It seems there's also prana moving around. In addition, I have started hearing music in 3D again (I guess it's not with the ears but with the cloud of thicker psi).

Semi-accidentally managed to upset sister today. Crying made her head ache, which lead me to an interesting thought. The headache I think appears due to dehydration. Now, I've noticed that while stressed, tension in the body also squeezes out a liquid. The liquid often feel cold inside the body and when it propagates out through the skin pores, a bad smell is produced. Some animals, insects interpret this smell as the smell of fear and become agitated. It's as if the body is crying inside-out.