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The goal of this blog is to motivate myself and others for further practice as well as provide details that might explain what's going on..


Sunday, March 31, 2013

Sight thru closed eyelids

Saw the walls and ceiling through closed eyelids again. Having headphones on with music, it couldn't have been acoustic sight. Verified that the eyelids were indeed closed (tried to close them further - little to no change). While there was indeed daylight, being able to distinguish wallpaper pattern through closed eyelids .. still seems unlikely to be the effect of light shining through the thin eyelids.

Opened the eyes .. normal sight felt a bit different (consciousness lowered to the level of the physical eyes). Closed the eyes again and tried to repeat the experiment. Sight through closed eyelids came back after a while.

Noticed that before it happens, I would see a bright circle. Then around it, I would gradually start seeing the room. Before the experiment, I had been focusing psi into the top of the head.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Flickerswitch


Not too successful first pk attempts on a balanced piece of metal pipe. Went to kitchen for some food.

After a few recent flicker-geisting events, the kitchen lamp had stopped working. No problem .. we had a fluorescent tube there as well. Unfortunately, sister had somehow managed to break that one too, yesterday.

Flipped the switch about 10 times and not even a flicker. Found that when I "pour" some psi through the switch, then it would start arcing and jumpstart the compact fluorescent bulb. Finally managed to turn the lamp on by flipping the switch and directing some pulsing psi into the wires.

Recorded it, for change. Nothing to impress skeptics, but it sure impressed me. Sister visited the kitchen later and came back: "What the? Dude, you and your magic."


Inspiring discussions

Cool, Torig had found Someone's PsiCam on UStream.

Happened to discuss stuff with sister. For background, she has been involved in Christianity recently, playing guitar each Saturday and Sunday.

She told me what she had found just recently, about the missing gospels and the family of Jesus Christ (info from a channeler). Some of this she had also seen in her dreams during early childhood (the daughters of Jesus in a mansion and hiding themselves later). Pretty awesome stuff, got cold chills running up the spine. Now she's looking for ways to travel around and do research on it.

Got hooked on Sandra and Woo (a comics with some UFOs but no psionics, tho). Read that yesterday, until it went offline and today, until there was nothing more to read. Slept also.

Happened to discuss stuff with Dad in the morning. I was amazed at and inspired by what I said to him. He has been doing research on quantum dots recently (you know, under cover because they don't directly finance research as suspicious as this). They had found some of those fluorescent fluids growing and amplifying on itself over time. Probably related to life, zero-point energy and psionics.

Edit: Yay, a post on a similar subject in Crux Theory: Wilhelm Reich and Orgone Energy.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Stuff that melts away

A few mornings ago, at the kitchen door, I saw a cloud of dark blue creep in behind me. Looked there .. father in a real sleepy state. Strange that I didn't hear any footsteps and strange that I saw stuff behind me. It didn't creep nor startle me or anything, but it was a bit surprising.

Have been struggling with fear against unintentional pk and geisting again recently. That's because I feel rather stuffed of psi and not too stable emotionally. A typical case: a car drives past, I just look at it once, acquire the feeling of it in a split-second .. then the fears of causing harm or damage pop up .. mind panics and I force-focus it on something else (a tree, the feeling of presence, some homework exercise, etc.).

Then again, sometimes I feel at peace. Mind is silent and there's just a sense of happiness and psi becoming thicker. Sometimes I find a hole in the veil and focus in on it.

A lot of strange stuff from the winter melting away (fears, unsolved riddles of the mind). There have been several of those Heureka! moments without the mind being able to grasp what had clicked together.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Heaven vs hell

A few days of messing around with homework.

Had a queer dream last night. Had been observing a couple of groups. One of the groups had hid themselves behind a wall of sheet-metal boxes or something, peeking out. The other group was aware of them. One of the group shot something arrow-like and killed one of the other group. The rest of them were killed as well.

Felt sorry for the group behind the wall .. they seemed innocent.

Wanted to do something about it. Had to visit some sort of hell for that. The guy in charge there didn't even agree on a chat before his demands on offerings (specific organs) had been fulfilled. Even then, he wanted a girl from the heaven as a sacrifice.

Didn't like the idea at all. Still, we went to the guy in charge in the heaven. Even while meeting with the boss from hell, he remained calm and peaceful. The one from hell asked him if he had a stray girl. Without any thoughts or emotions, a girl was offered.

That girl was interesting as well. Even in hell, she still remained calm and peaceful .. no matter what the boss of hell schemed.

Don't know what this symbolizes but the dream ended before I got anywhere in trying to save that group of people. Probably the point of "a wise man neither hugs nor hates this world." In other words, by trying to save people, I ended up in hell.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Yeast

Remembered what I had also wanted to post.

A week or two ago, there was cake in the oven. Sister had made a really good one. Unfortunately, though, it stayed there for a night. Next day it clearly had some yeast in it. However, while holding a small saucer with a piece of this cake, I sensed the cake radiating some sort of non-physical heat through the saucer. This radiation seemed to have been related to yeast growing in the cake. Life, sprung from love and care.. radiating its own essence. Slightly reminded me of Grebennikov's Cavernous Structures Effect (CSE).

Swinging T-shirt

A few nights ago, with the eyes closed and somewhere in a half-dream state I saw a bug fly onto the wall in front of me .. it crawled onto me. This one was considerably bigger than the previous two.
A couple of evenings ago I came home, took a shower and wished good night to father. It was obvious that he had wanted to share something with me. Felt him feeling sorry for me. Tried to avoid stepping on the feeling with the focus of consciousness.


Swinging stuff has seemed somewhat effortless recently. Hanging signs at a store, hanging ropes, curtains, etc. Swung a T-shirt around this morning. Interesting, how it occasionally looked like a solid plate, rotating from side to side.

Inspired by a shortfilm "The Tulpa":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoaj2I0p0hg

I tried visualizing an apple. Lost focus prematurely and upon entering a half-dream state, I had already forgotten what I had wanted to do. No apple.

Though, this reminds me of an object from years ago. Held something in my hand in the dreams. As I woke up, I felt it gradually lose shape and melt away.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Pulsing bubble of emotions

Ugh.. -.-  <== this sums up everything

Was somewhat stressed and disappointed again a couple of days ago. Tried to keep focus away from this. Found something interesting.

Often when one is moody (angry, depressed, whatever), then there's a sort of force bubble / balloon somewhere in the body. Sometimes it grows bigger and bursts. From inside, I found such a bubble pulsing - growing bigger, smaller. It was pulsing at a rather low frequency (random emotional events in life).

Wondered what would happen if I somehow managed to increase the frequency of this pulsing. The force of psi that was emitted by this bubble was amazing. The higher the frequency, the more continuous the stream of psi throughout the body. Experienced the pushy feeling of the stream against the brain and other internal organs.

Tried to maintain the viewpoint of an observer. A while later, the bubble collapsed and disappeared .. it had become empty of energy. The pushy feeling disappeared as well.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

OBE EM

Yesterday's happy workday caused a fear of geisting. Relaxed the mind and consciousness as a way out of this dead-end.

This relaxation sure worked great while sleeping. Body gradually fell asleep, practised levitation, levitated out of body. Went back, with the intention to take the body with me. Felt a strong pull away from the body (in random directions). Gave up and just went with the flow.

There I was (a cloud of consciousness floating around), about to leave the room. Became slightly more aware of it and decided to stay. Practised energy manipulation and different ways of warping the consciousness and washing itself around.

Bright dreams.

Remembered that on my way home, it was a bit cold. Thought of Tummo and that nail phased into the wall. Focused consciousness into a cloud surrounding the body. It became warm. Occasionally the left palm became a lot hotter than any other part of the body. Semi-subconsciously limited the heat to avoid damage due to high temperature gradients.

Didn't feel like eating much today. Skipped lunch. Felt good. Bought some spam at 7 PM or something. Didn't seem to have affected much .. felt like a ballast to the body and mind - no new info.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Blooming red

After months of watering, karma ripened. Bursted it out on someone. Felt like a balloon inflating and then go pop and spray seeds.

With this balloon no longer obstructing the view, everything feels so meaningless and empty again. Playing with such tiny things and acting all important. Boring.

With these things, it's the subtle mind pattern that matters most. There's no point in trying to overcome it or to live with it, once it has already grown big. Sure, then one might feel almighty of having defeated a big inflated dummy without popping it. Actually it's the small things that count.

Edit: Next day, that someone was sick. Some lamps started flickering at the lab.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Bloodbending?

After that dream with a lot of flesh and dead bodies, organic bodies feel different to me. Body has grown more distinct from the mind and consciousness. Have noticed the difference mostly when looking at others. Somehow feel the body through as if a mechanical system .. hmm .. reminiscent of bloodbenders from Avatar.

Noticed a slight sense of fear while writing this .. "What if I won't be able to control it?". Semi-subconsciously something closed off and noticed that I no longer felt the body through in such a way. Well, sealing it certainly won't help in mastering control.

Late night and little sleep yesterday, due to work related stuff. Identified some constructs that became afraid I would skip sleep that night. Mentally stared at them for some time. While asleep, they're probably in control of something. Continued work in the dreams.

Neo healing

Remembered that I tried a healing method that was new for me. Visualized stuffing a hand into the body and emitting light and warmth from it (similar to how Neo fixed Trinity in Matrix). Although a bit hacky, it seemed to be working amazingly well .. better than most of the non-intrusive methods I've used before.

Have been feeling rather tense again lately (not the only one, Mom's nervous too). The presence of an old friend (a psion, too) seemed to be soothing the aura remarkably.

Had an interesting dream. We're at the edge of a large field near the summerhouse. There's somebody there, showing us around. At first there's one tower, difficult to see over the trees without floating. Gradually started seeing more and more towers. It was evident how each tower was the design of one of us (the others didn't see it at first .. appeared once the designer had told the rest of us to look at it). One of these towers accumulated energy from the sun. One of these was an oil pump. The rest of these were radars and communication towers or something. Fun.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Strange

A few days ago:
  • Strange dreams. Strange places, dangerous places, a lot of dead people, a lot of flesh.
  • Glitches with lamps at home again.
More recently:
  • Pk practice on a cardboard box for a few evenings.
  • Habituating a more detached mindset in all states (sleep, awake, stressed).
  • Neat-er dreams. Discussing paranormal stuff with a friend. Wondered if I could somehow demonstrate something. Experienced a flag wrap into a ball. "Watch this," unfolded it and refolded it again for a couple of times.
  • Noticed a lot of similar flags at the road back to work from a lecture. Tried to stretch the flags upward. It was a rather silent day (no wind). The last few flags were indeed flapping upwards when I walked past them.
  • Noticed myself semi-subconsciously playing with psi density in the lecture room.
  • Snapping in the walls, work sounds from empty rooms (typing on the keyboard, clicking mouse, ordering filers, etc.)

Friday, March 8, 2013

Messing with people

Still some strategy and fighting in the dreams .. a piece of the flu is still there.

A couple of days ago, one of those dreams was rather interesting. I was a cloud of consciousness, floating about at the summerhouse. There was a group of soldiers that I was training against some enemy. Though, after a while, some of them got infected..

Last night, I went with the flow and woke in some odd places. There were 2 of us. We had been sailing on a mind-controlled ship real fast. Woke up in Moscow. A blink of an eye .. church towers in the mist rising from the water. Another .. almost at the port already, tried to slow it down fast. This proved a lot more difficult than I had anticipated. Took me a while to dissipate all the kinetic energy. Dream ended when I got it to a halt somewhere on a road.

At the store today, I felt a little mischievous. There was a lady, choosing between products, with her back towards me. Thought (or rather, the impulse before a thought): "Pretty hair.." .. felt it manifest more than 10x stronger than I had anticipated .. ::whoosh::in an instant, she turned around and looked at me scornfully::

Mixed feelings about it =)= .. happy for success at telepathy, sorry for messing with people this way.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Close to bliss

Some more meditation in bed last night. Tried to let go some more. At first, hypnagogic imagery was familiar, then gradually more and more "foreign" images appeared. In the end, I saw stuff I had never even sensed in myself before. Continued observing with focus and without associations.

In the morning, looked at a car driving past slowly. Got the feeling of that car inside-out and almost lost the sense of this body walking up the slope.

Continued with meditation while walking home, late from work again. Felt a natural tendency for the consciousness to spread over the area. Just went with the flow and let it go. Tried to keep focus on the relaxed observation of this emptiness.

Feet started feeling a bit funny .. full of a pleasant warm and soft feeling. Walking seemed effortless and blissful.

Felt psi pressure increasing on the forehead. Psi was piling up, the field was wobbling slightly. Occasionally, there were a few jolts and moments of feeling weightless and detached. From that state, levitation and teleportation did not feel far at all.

All of these feelings are familiar and yet different. This time it seems closer to the true nature .. as if the same thing without additives and preservatives.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

..

A stomach flu, it seems.

Felt the psi field swaying in the evening today.

Felt a presence at school today. Someone with a blank and peaceful mind looked over my shoulder, at the device on the table. Couldn't recognize them .. not from the family .. someone from the forum, perhaps. Thought I sensed dark clothing on that guy. The device showed slight signs of malfunctioning later.

Said the following on the forums yesterday: "Though, the practice of tummo and the reading of The 6 yogas of Naropa hasn't gone too well for me. As if I've been trying to strike a nail into concrete with a pillow or something. For me the time has probably not come yet."

In bed, had a vision of a nail phased 3/4 into a concrete wall.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Relax into the air

Ah, the familiar features of a virus.

Practised some pk before bed yesterday, on a pencil sharpener box on a stool. It moved around on the surface ever so slightly. The stool also.

Meditated in bed, experienced a few spontaneous moments of clarity from a dream or half-dream state.

Practised levitation from a dream-state. Felt body weight reducing, head, feet and arms become weightless .. mattress springs relaxing. Would be cool to do that while awake.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Stealth injection

Was harsh to someone in my mind. Next morning I didn't feel too good. Focus was strongly fixed on tension and it seemed as if everything was attacking me all the time.

Decided to do something about it in the evening. Meditated some, which alleviated it a little. Realized the body was lacking something .. some vitamins or minerals or something, which contributed to feeling uneasy.

Laid down to meditate once more. A real vivid sensation of being injected with something to the left upper-arm. Felt the needle go in with a sharp pain. Usually, the sharp pain would go away quickly, when the needle is pulled out. This time it didn't. It stayed there for a minute or something. A faint feeling of some fluid propagating from the arm. The fluid seemed to be rather close to body temperature and not harmful.

This really made me feel like an experiment. Can't see nor sense nobody in the room and suddenly somebody injects something into the body. Should thank them, because the feeling of the body missing something is gone.