Focus inward

Still wondering about that owl about a week ago, I realized that I'm worried about someone else's dreams whereas I should really focus on my own issues first. Ought to be more selfish and pursue my own path without always trying to drag anyone else down the path. Also, I noticed the uncanny similarities between us - I've also been downplaying my family relations. He helped me realize that it's an impossible task. No matter how alienated I may feel, I'm still a part of my family and I'd better take it into account.

Then bumped into a redditor who offered help in interpreting dreams. Many thanks to nova029 for the enlightening words:

... you were in this projection with this teacher to make sure you dont fall into the same trap. figure out what logic he is missing and dive into it

Without nova029, I would've missed this point of view.

Anyway, after about a week of focusing inward each night, I started having problems sleeping. Tried to leak jing on purpose - has typically helped. This time it did not .. caused me to feel tired but still couldn't sleep (red eyes throughout the day). This helped me re-realize something else. I've gotten way too lax and comfy in everyday life. I know that it's my counter-reaction of compulsory service. However, lax and comfy seems like the inverse of focus and concentration. Instead, should specify rules for myself and follow them. This would be a lot more efficient in helping me tame my own mind. Perhaps that's the point of order? Naturally entropy is always increasing, so decreasing the entropy would be more of a challenge.

It's small things like always sitting with a good posture, properly cooking meals instead of just snacking, acting polite, sleeping in a vampire posture and so on..

This has been occuring for months, but I haven't really mentioned it much thus far. Today I attended a meeting in the morning, then had to go to the office ~20 km away. Asked a colleague if they're going as well. She didn't plan to, had lunch together and then she thought she would take me there. In the evening I asked another colleague if she could drop me off at a specific place in the town. "Uhm, that would be quite far from where I'm going. No, I almost forgot, I was supposed to pick up my son so I would be going down the same road anyway." Just that this has become more and more frequent.

Watched pirated editions of Dreamscape and The Fury yesterday.

Dream: Passing storm

Not kidding, actually had a dream this morning (~6 AM, just 1.5 h before the alarm).

Most of the family is together at the summer house. Although a bit cloudy, it's a lovely day and I'm chatting with one of the uncles in the front yard. ::Although I remembered the topic in the morning, managed to forget it during the day::. I suspect it might've been about another really inspiring student project that's going on in the country - student formula. I had more-or-less finished when it started raining lightly. I went inside, whereas he and others preferred to stay outside. From the inside, I saw the wind pick up, and it quickly transformed into a heavy storm. The doors and windows were banging as the storm hovered straight over the building and faded as quickly as it appeared. I stepped to the back yard. With great enthusiasm, father explained that I had just missed an awesome sight. He said it was not a storm like any other - it was some kind of an alien spacecraft that caused the peculiar weather phenomena as it flew over.