Encountered quite a bit of stress again yesterday, even though my connection with the environment seemed to have remained. Colleague also said she felt depressed again ... the energy wave of the shamanic journey had passed.
Kitchen lamp died yesterday evening, without a sign - suddenly just no longer lit up. The same lamp that I've already revived once with pk. When flicking the switch, the CFL sometimes flickers but then goes dark again. For most of the time, it's just dark.
Watched some Babylon 5 on the weekend, as well. It's amazing indeed, just like my uncle said it was. Fellow psions, check out season 1 episode 6. It's like a quick summary of Akira or Shinsekai Yori mixed with some spiritual progress.
Assumed the lotus pose on the bed and meditated, while breathing out into different regions of the body. Haven't been breathing right for years. Soon the cat came, looked at what I was doing, leaped on bed, curled up next to my right knee and fell asleep. I stood up and left about half an hour later, whereas cat stayed on the spot. Some similar meditation during the night, before falling asleep myself.
Familiar dreams
The first night that I had the good old dreams back again. Met dad in one of the dreams, and mentioned my plan of buying together a desktop PC for training RNN. However, he did not seem to care about that. Instead, he said: "Oh, this is how far you've evolved" (a spiritual hint).
Next dream, I'm on Saaremaa with an uncle and a couple of cousins. Throughout the night, each of us minded their own business. Cousins played computer games while I did some other kind of work. I think I was cleaning something, but there were a lot of things to finish before the morning when uncle would take us back. Eventually they prepared sauna and enjoyed it. They were all so carefree. I still had a lot of things to do, but would've wanted to go and enjoy the sauna as well. A while later, uncle casually noted that he would get going soon. With great sadness and disappointment, I thanked him for the sauna and said I would start packing right away. When I went to pack my things, there was nothing there, except for a 3 litre jar of pickled cabbage. Touched it and woke up.
Background, for the second dream
Still swamped with work, and haunted by the lack of will to go all berserk and finish the tasks one by one.
Fine, the lack of motivation for writing the conference proceeding had a rational explanation - needed to discuss the structure before proceeding with the writing.
Work for the new job? Not much point in going all out and focusing deep on these tasks before the meeting on Monday (today).
Thought I would then take my thesis and continue with that. Opened the notes from the last meeting with the supervisor .. binary blob. Bloody NTFS again. Alright, made a backup, reformatted and dropped permissions support (probably what caused the issue). Recovering from the latest PDF back to the last committed TeX is for some other day, then, I guess.
Too strict?
Today I surprised myself (and maybe others) with how strict I was, maybe even brutal. Pushed my interpretation of things on students, project managers and so on and below. Perhaps I should hold back and be more humble, instead.
Pan made crackling noises. Hadn't heard that before. What's even more strange .. the pan made the noises even when it was barely warm at all. That was a new pan. At least until it met our gas stove, I guess.
Other than that, today morning I saw the all-permeating light a little.
Edit: Oh, and today at the department store I saw someone. Looked up, looked up even more, and saw that the person was about twice my height. I used to consider myself tall (1.8 m), but now suddenly there was somebody standing next to me, almost twice my height. Puzzled, but his proportions still looked human.
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