A radioactive orb?
One day several weeks ago, I saw a bright white orb again. Thought it was an effect of my eyes, so I looked at it from various angles and also looked away and back again. The orb floated past my left shoulder. Couldn't tell its distance because it was just a point source but I assumed it was in the same room so not more than 20 cm from me. It looked like a miniature welding arc. Exceptionally bright but non-physical. It did not leave a blotch, similar to what looking into the sun would've done. Also, I couldn't see it when looking straight at it, it was only visible in the periphery. Still, by looking past it in one direction, then at it and then past it in the other direction, I saw that it remained in the same spot in space.
Not the first time that I've seen things like this. However, it was the first time that I felt the orb radiating heat. It was as if the sun (or perhaps slightly cooler than the sun) were shining on my left arm, my cheek .. as well as the rest of the face as I looked at it from different angles. That evening I felt sick unlike anything I had felt for months. After some shivers and a bit of sweating, I was completely fine the next morning again. Weird.
Had a symbolic dream one morning, and I think it might've been the same day that I met the orb.
Dream: Threatening bird
Me and a couple of cousins had climbed a tree. I noticed that the tree branches are bending too much under my weight, so I hopped off to avoid damaging the tree. (in reality, that tree has been dead for several years already) A bit sad that I can't play, I decided to walk across the yard. I was not only sad but also enjoyed the bitter-sweet feeling of loss and I was glad that I had at least spared the tree. Cousins jumped down from the tree as well, ran past me and entered a building on the other side of the yard. I decided to go there as well but some kind of a stupid bird decided to come and pester me. It tried to be as scary as possible, to keep me away from there. I didn't understand why someone would try to keep me away from there .. I've lived there several years of my childhood. What is more, this environment is in my mind and nobody is supposed to stop me from wandering safe places within my own mind. Why is some stupid bird trying to boss around. The bird (sparrowhawk, I think) landed on the roof while I was cursing it. The bird just stood there, staring at me silently, looking way more innocent than it before. I threatened the bird with death, and at that moment, some kind of a demon of death manifested behind me. I was startled by my own words, which did not seem like mine .. and woke up.
Edit: While writing this down, I think I realized what the native hostiles in my own mind are about, probably. Especially after watching some Babylon 5 episodes with battles between the vorlons and shadows. It is not me that they're hostile against, because they and I were born with the environment, the same mindscape. I myself have put up the shields and barriers to keep these places safe. What I have failed to take into account is that sometimes I'm mixed with other entities that are not safe to enter these sacred grounds (my own karma is not always my own). That's why my own guards draw their swords against me, and rightfully so. One must let go of everything that does not belong first. Obvious things that I've forgotten in this society. In the old days, the rituals accounted for all that.
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