I think I've seen the opposite path somewhere before (probably in a dream). In that alternate reality, I failed to overcome depression in time .. and the pandemic got to me. Dad wasn't too happy, so maybe it wasn't a very good idea. Also, I suspect that I've received quite a bit of training and teachings (for some unknown responsibilities in the future) which would be sort of wasted in such a scenario.
On the other hand, the path of spirituality would again mean that I would lose enthusiasm and motivation to do anything in this material world. Throughout the years I've been trying to figure out a workaround but I don't think I've found any. On the contrary, depression due to the lack of spirituality has had the same effect - enthusiasm and motivation are more and more difficult to come by.
Due to the pandemic, any attempts to fit in as a more-or-less normal person have been rendered futile. Spirituality seems to be the only option, even though it's rather selfish.
Occasionally things in my room have started to make loud crackling sounds again. There are waves of heat propagating up the body, sometimes I feel somewhat floaty and I've started to feel things which I see or hear again.
Dream: Speed-flying
A couple of nights ago, I was coming home from the town center. I tried flying as fast as I could .. by becoming weightless and then pulling myself from different objects. I found that I could keep holding onto an object even if I had already flown quite far from it. I tried to make a sharp turn by holding onto a traffic post about 100 or 200 m behind me. The speed was too much for me to control, and I crashed into the lawn. While reckless, it was a lot of fun.
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