Alt dreams

Eh, it seems I've forgotten some of the dreams while waiting for the opportunity to utilize my wonderful spheres of vision and fingers of graceful code in order to convert the memories into records.

On Saturday had a chat with Dad and he referenced some rumors regarding Mt. Kailash. I looked up some pictures of it and found that it's a common destination for pilgrimages.

Dream: Waterside mountain

In one of the dreams I climbed some kind of a mountain which was just next to a large water body. It was early morning and the weather was nice and calm. Eventually made it to a plateau with some welcoming tablets with information for people on a pilgrimage. Contrary to my expectations, the plateau was packed with people, so I poofed.

Dream: ...

Have forgotten what this dream was about, but it took place at the summerhouse. A happy family kind of a dream. What I do remember is that I realized I could float around without effort again. A typical milestone in these kinds of dreams is the ability to open doors without "stepping off the nimbus" at the doorsteps.

Dream / OBE: That awkward wave

I was walking towards home from some odd direction (I thought I was coming from school or something). It was early morning, around the time of sunrise (no idea about the season). The sky was clear, the air was still and it was nice and quiet. Everything about the environment was very vivid. I heard the sound of wet asphalt under my boots, I felt the slightly cool air on my skin. I think I was wearing brown coat and had a brown shoulder bag.

Everything seemed real as far as I could tell, except for the fact that I felt completely at peace.

I was about to cross a road between two apartment blocks when I noticed a car approaching from my left. I considered waiting for the car to pass (my usual behavior) but on a whim decided to float into the air and let the car pass by from underneath.

I think it was a dark red car with nothing particular about it. There was a lady in her 50s or 60s driving it with no other life forms in the car. She had the driver side window down to vent the smoke from her cigarette. Right after I had floated over her car, she stopped the car diagonally across the road and let out a whistle of surprise.

I tried to wave to her but the roof of the car blocked the view. It was a kind of wave with the hand below my feet, attempting to reach low enough that she might see it from one of the passenger windows but I didn't think it worked.

Descended for a moment without touching the ground and took up both speed and altitude in the general direction of my home (or so I thought). While at it, I could hear her footsteps following me at a distance. While flying up at greater speed, I think the realism of the experience faltered. I wanted to experience the cool breeze a bit more, so my coat vanished and I continued flying with just a t-shirt flapping around in the wind.

Woke up a bit disoriented. It was about 3 AM, dark, cloudy and wet outside. Took a small amount of TheraFlu.

Alt pastimes

Yay, another flu, apparently. Yesterday could not keep the eyes peeled for more than a minute at a time. Today it doesn't seem to be too much of a problem anymore, but I detect a barely noticeable headache and a fever.

Anyway, a difference which I noticed this time regarding the eye pain. The rear side of the eye hurt instead of the front. The last time I had this issue I had not tried to heal the rear side because that did not hurt.

Since Monday I've minimized the off-work time I spend at the computer screen. But since there are very few things which can be done without a computer screen nowadays, I spent the time sitting, meditating or sleeping.

As has often been the case for me, meditation comes with side-effects. Some of the bodily tensions were released with jolts of pain running through the body. I found it interesting that some of the outbursts of pain followed the model of a regular dampened oscillator. A form of prana flow reached the head and it made the body feel even more at ease.

Sometimes when I closed my eyes, I saw a white vertical column with what looked like heatwaves coming off from its sides. Another image which occurred to me was of an object at room temperature but with a shield of red flames surrounding it on one side. The flames kept a distance from the object, mimicking its shape.

Another side-effect of the meditation was flashbacks of memories and feelings from early childhood, which re-instilled some enthusiasm.

Yet another side-effect was a difference in dreams.

Monthly humiliation

I would not have thought I was that weak. Earned a monthly dose of humiliation today.

On Monday morning, I had to wake up 3 times to battle pain in the eye. My condolences to all the pincushions out there, I feel you. Had some trouble keeping the eyes open while waiting for the bus but the rest of the day was bearable. So, I spent the free hours of Monday evening meditating and sleeping instead of staring at the computer screen.

Slept nicely today morning and felt better. Went to work and all hell broke loose. Installed some eye drops and endured until the lunch.

Then suddenly I was pouring a lake on the canteen desk and could no longer keep my eyes open. Kept blowing my nose, too, for it's rude and disgusting. It was a real challenge to eat the salad, but even more of a challenge to eat the dessert while listening to a former colleague describing issues from one of the spacecraft for which he's providing services.

After what seemed like forever, I had to somehow force through it to maneuver through the canteen desks full of people, carrying the dishes. I was lucky - did not have to close my eyes nor did I let anything fall.

While trying hard to make my way up to the office on the far end of the 2nd floor, I met other people who greeted me .. I tried to greet them back. One of them was even there with kids who then had to witness a pitiful 31 year old wuss with a grimace of pain stumbling along the corridor while holding to the rails, crying. Actually just uncontrolled watering of the eyes but who cares, looks just like crying anyway.

Anyway, made it to the office. Took the droplets and stumbled into a luckily unoccupied meeting room with a sofa. Some more drops on the eyes and took a short nap.

Went back to work, wondering whether I should head home immediately or wait for other colleagues to take me to the town. Opted for the latter, due to which I had to role-play a pum with a hangover (covering my eyes with a hand from all the lights) in the bus ... again that same crappy geezer crying in front of kids. A "perfect" idol / ideal for the future society.

That's enough of humiliation for the day, thank you karma.

Library

On Monday and Tuesday evenings I found that I could tap into the familiar bliss while walking again. The mind was so tired that while not utilized for work, it had the tendency to relax and fall blank.

On Tuesday I realized that I'd need to rework a significant part of the code at work due to some changes in the requirements again.

Used this as a concentration practice to boost productivity. Have been using most of my free time to work on the code (and the 3 other urgent tasks in parallel). Anyway, this has gotten me a bit tired. Past weekend I also failed to fully compensate for the past week's worth of sleep deprivation. Expected and unexpected guests.

This, probably together with some lingering post-impressions from Disco Elysium yielded some interesting dreams last night.

Dream: Heavy clouds

I was in some kind of a building I haven't been to before. There was an old lady there (reminded me of my grandma but also didn't). The building had large windows. Through one of the windows one could see the town with a tall wooden church in the middle.

We looked out through the window and saw heavy clouds approaching. I said that I loved these kinds of clouds (they feel powerful). Just as I had said that, the shape of the clouds changed. One of the clouds developed a couple of small tails which did not develop into tornadoes.

Regardless, the church blew apart, followed by several other buildings in the town center. I was surprised and failed to find what could've caused the havoc.

Due to the multi-temporal overlay which seems to be rather usual in dreams, I also saw the new church which would be erected on the same spot years later. The new church was almost the same height but disturbingly green, due to which I liked the old one better. The old one was dark brown, btw.

Dream: Library

Had a chat with an old friend yesterday evening (IRL).

In the dream I happened to pass through a small library. This friend was there, studying something and his former supervisor was sitting across the table ... probably supervising him.

I noticed that I had passed through the library earlier that day, and had left a bunch of electronics-related books on the table. Waved at the friend and his supervisor (who is also a friend), then quickly glanced at the books which I had left open. Realized something interesting.

It occurred to me that by continuing my research on all sorts of anomalies (ghosts, geisting, psychokinesis, etc.), I might just be able to find patterns which are important for ZPE and anti-gravity. While not really evident at first, there's probably a common link - fine-grain geometrical structure of the universe which everything else might be built upon.

Heat

For the past few weeks I've been releasing the tension in the chest and visualizing hugging it with love.

As a side-effect, I've noticed occasional releases of pain from the body.

Most of my body used to be at ambient temperature for most of the time. Yesterday evening I noticed that a significant amount of heat was emitted from the chest.

As another side-effect, I've noticed that stress is relieved more easily and the mind occasionally becomes clear of thoughts on its own again.

Small hut by the sea

Having finished the Lain game, I had exhausted my old avatar. Suddenly I realized that I had no idol / ideal anymore. On one hand, it's a liberating experience but on another hand it means that I need to define everything myself and would probably end up becoming a role model myself. Started to feel happy, almost as if I had just been reborn once again.

Due to some kind of synchronicity (and DarkChakra's intuition), found another Estonian who had joined that Discord server.

During the weekend I also read quite a bit about anti-gravity and alternative propulsion topics again.

Orchestra

I had backed an orchestra and visited one of their concerts yesterday evening. Actually might have missed the concert if there hadn't been another guy who made the same mistake (the theatre had moved to another building). He told me where the concert was probably taking place and offered me free transport.

The theme of the concert was high voltage, which I found to be somewhat related to the research which I had just performed beforehand. I enjoy the orchestra because of how lively they are. A significant part of their performances is the interactive show. Dad also plays there, so earned perhaps 15 min of chatting time with him =).

Sometimes I've noticed the tendency of music artists to neglect the director. While wondering about it, I realized how useful such a system would be in solving engineering problems with very high spin rates or very high frequencies. 

Dream: Small hut by the sea

Me and some other person were using a boat to coast along the beach somewhere in a foreign realm. The whole place had the somewhat familiar eerie feeling about it, due to which we tried to remain careful.

We reached a small hut above the water, maybe 100 m away from the beach. I wanted to move closer to the hut and look inside. The other person notified me of the danger but I was curious and it did not really feel all that dangerous.

The hut looked empty (just some old planks and dust), and at first it felt empty, too. But it was actually not empty. There was an entity still guarding the waters from the hut.

I could not see her but I could sense her presence and converse with her. She explained that she and her kid lived there and asked my why I had come there. I expressed respect and curiosity, and asked her if throughout all her years there she has seen anything out of the ordinary.

She told me about an abnormally violent storm and high waves. I think also a whirpool of some sort was involved. As she described it, I witnessed it and felt the power.

I think we thanked her, and landed on the beach. As I woke up, the feeling of this power remained and I can still feel it a bit while writing this down ~18 hours later.

End of Lain game

Finished the lain game (or rather, the somewhat unconventional visual novel). I think this finally filled in the gaps. Lain does not seem all that mysterious anymore. A lot of respect to the writers, artists and translators.