Concealed worries are dangerous

:) although people personally thanked me for the presentation, apparently I still wasn't happy about my performance. ::loud thunder:: I noticed that I gradually became more tired each day after the presentation. Some tension crept up inside, which I couldn't release very easily. Food didn't digest very well and attempts to take a nap just shifted me out of body with nausea. Would've liked to visit the cultural event, but as it turned out, one had to register and pay for that beforehand. Not that I wasn't notified of that by the subconscious, but I just skipped it until I would meet my colleague .. but then just forgot about it. Oh well, went "home" and took a nap, trying to heal it. Realized that actually it was not the presentation but the lack of focused answers to the questions.

Thought it all through while watching Naruto and Sasuke battling. Feeling a lot better now, since now I have clear guidelines for improving my presentations even further.

Yup, need to get back to regular pk practice again. Progress is much more efficient when there's a direct need for it. ::loud thunder:: It's not so much pk practice for practising pk but rather for speeding up the internal battle, as one requirement for pk is the clarity of mind. It seemed like a good idea at first, to develop the clarity of mind and concentration first, and then try pk. I guess it didn't work too well for me .. got lazy :D.

Turned around

Last night I found myself in the living room at home. Decided to change the way I live this life. Created a portal in the mirror and flew in. Pitch black dark emptiness, except for tangible space and astral wind. The wind was blowing from behind me. Turned around and embraced the wind, enjoying the thickening of space around me. Soon after, I felt myself slowly descend back into the body.

Central flame

Last night, just after I visualized sending love to the dog, the central flame got ignited for a few minutes. Could hear and feel the noise from the flame. Then it slowly faded away again.

Dreams were nothing special, except that I was no longer afraid of appearing at home. Judging by prior experience I suspected I would pop back to Mexico by the morning anyway.

It's strange, really. I don't consider myself anything special. However, even with a plastered face, people generally treated me very well. Or rather, maybe a bit too well. Or perhaps it's not worth thinking about it that much .. should maybe forgive myself and just be.

In yo face

Ok.
A wet dream on the first morning at a foreign place .. again.
Other than that, the day has been nice. I guess I've already sort of adapted to the swap of timezones as well.

Today the internal map intuition seemed to have been working fine.

Though, I got bitten in the face by a nice dog. I didn't expect that. Especially after the dog had seemingly acknowledged me and licked my face.

Anyway, have been holding focus on the healing for some time now.

Mexico

A 15-hour flight with multiple transfers.

On the intercontinental flight, there was an LCD display with a tethered remote. Couldn't wait to try that. Selected flight tracking from the menu, after which, the device started loading some kind of configuration from somewhere. This got stuck on 93%. Pressed some random buttons. It started again, and got stuck at 93% once again. Anyway, the plane electrical system experienced a hiccup at some point, after which the device actually showed the flight tracking info. After some time I tried to go back to the main menu. Tried again, then again and again. Tried focusing on the system to acquire a feeling of it. Then tried again by forcing it with pk ("sudo"-like). The menu popped up but stuff looked rather glitchy. Selected "return to main menu" or somesuch, and pressed "Ok". Well .. nope. Everything went blank and didn't respond to my random combination of button presses, for perhaps an hour. Then suddenly it did. Low and behold, the familiar gif of a smiling lady booted up. But in false colors. Apparently the device was working again, except for the display colors (looked like 16 colors instead of 8-bit). Yup, probably technology from the last century.

Regardless, that was interesting geisting.

My intuition for mapless orientation in unknown surroundings didn't work, and I was mislead twice. Once in Tallinn, and once in Guadalajara.

Funeral toll?

Two nights ago, I was flying over the pasture near the summerhouse when I heard the belch of an old friend. I thought this indicated that he was ready to celebrate his birthday. I was about to shoot over the pasture with great speed, but there was someone flying just to my left and they accidentally tipped a tower of old window panes. There's almost always someone to my left, chilling around with me. This is the first time I've seen the presence actually interact with something. Typically the being is like a robot that doesn't speak, doesn't do telepathy or anything. Ok, anyway, I decided to watch it fall, then rewind and try to prevent it from happening. Yup, it shattered alright, leaving a lot of glass shards on the pasture grounds. Which is obviously not good, because there are animals grazing there. Rewound but that shattered the dream. Don't ask me why there was a tower of window panes on pasture grounds in the first place .. dream logic, right?

For a few times the ability to focus has surprised me a bit. Probably still rusty, but at least a lot better than I would have expected. A few seconds of focus and got a headache. Haven't had a short-circuit in a while .. went to bed. Two symbols.

I'm away somewhere and come back. Already from quite far I see that on the grass in front of the house, there's a square of candles with what looked like a tombstone. "That's odd, I wonder if someone has died?" Moved closer and realized those were not candles but bells. Read the sign and it said something along the lines of "Prayers for the funeral toll" (Palved hingekellale). That seemed odd. Dad walked past and reminded me of the bathroom tap that needs to be replaced (off-topic). "Yah, still haven't had the time to replace it," I said. To finish it off with random off-topic discussions and to confirm the state of awareness, I said "Bomb," and observed a deminer truck appearing through me (for the lack of proper collision avoidance). Walked out of it.

Then a trainee from work appeared just around the corner and gestured for me to follow him. He took me into a meeting room through an abstract place with a lot of doors. The abstract place was interesting .. not my creation.

Other than that, Steve Richards' "Invisibility" is awesome. It's not just about invisibility but also about alchemy, materialization and dematerialization. It describes the formation of matter, it describes the enlightenment process, the process of becoming immortal and what not.

Tree with a twist

A dream with a storm where it rained through the ceiling again. The symbol for indicating an unstable environment.

It would be awesome to be able to play with the cat by exercising psychokinesis on a toy rat. Running from the cat, squeaking and stuff.

Visited a local VR (virtual reality) meeting. Had extra 20 minutes before the event started, so I went into the park to play with the camera. Got one photo, right when I was about to leave. While going downhill, a tree caught my attention. At first it was the roots, then the trunk.

A very cool tree.