More respect towards Hamel

Wind has seemed rather responsive to intent recently.

Yesterday morning when I enabled 4G on my phone, its battery suddenly plummeted from around 80% down to 0, causing the phone to shut down. The battery is over 6200 mAh and has never acted like this before. Luckily it worked again just fine after recharging.

Today morning the cat looked at the ceiling lamp with great curiosity. I noticed that it was making a strange rattling noise. Looked at it but didn't notice any flickering. At some point the sound just stopped.



Recently I've been reading "The Granite Man & the Butterfly" on the bus to work and back. Amazing, but I guess it's a personal thing. For me it ties David Hamel's work together with that of Viktor Schauberger, A. H. Bahnson, T. T. Brown, N. Tesla. It also goes well with the experiences of Billy Meier, those of my father, as well as those of my own. Moreover, the book brought back some of the enthusiasm which I had forgotten.

DoubleGangsta

Today a colleague came up to me and expressed her surprise about me visiting a singing bowls concert again. Her friends had told her about it. However, I did not visit that concert and I had not even noticed any reminders about it. Moreover, I don't even recall having any dreams about it. Maybe a doppelgänger?

Yesterday evening aunt called and said she would be visiting on Friday evening. That's also exactly at the same time that the tenant's family would be visiting Estonia. Also two different groups visiting at work on the same day (which is quite rare).

Discussed thesis defense with a student while he was driving the car. I said I wasn't happy about an answer which he provided to a question. At that moment, I think the car was hit by a pebble. It sounded as if it made a dent.

Ow

Short-circuit in the rear of the left lobe. Hurts occasionally. Could have had some wind on it after washing the head today morning.

While at the canteen today, I quickly entered the PIN code of my credit card and then took my fingers off the keyboard. While lifting my fingers, the credit card terminal decided to add a few more digits.

Btw, there was supposed to be 37 *C on Saturday, followed by a thunderstorm. However, I was feeling rather uncomfortable while waiting at the bus stop on Friday. Pushed some chi up the column with an intent to get the circulation of cool prana going again. At that moment, wind picked up. It has been windy since then. It seems that the wind pushed the warm air front to the East (Russia).

Hectic times

Those were hectic weeks. A lot of thesis supervision, refereeing, then writing my own.

Had only had 4 h of sleep last morning. Somehow managed to drop the toothbrush. I was afraid it would fall into dust but somehow it did not. Found it standing on the tip of its handle, leaning against the shower curtain. Interesting odds.

During lunch at work, a tiny spider appeared from somewhere and climbed onto my plate. It then circled the edge of the plate. It seemed as if it tried to comfort me somehow. Eventually took it on my finger and tried blowing it into the plants. I hope I did not blow it into my colleague's soup, though.

Rough plan

A couple of posts ago I mentioned this girl. Well, I expected to bump into her again in just a couple of days. It's a small town and I've often met old acquaintances right after thinking of them. However, this has not worked on this girl yet. I figured I wasn't ready and needed to learn as much as I could from this experience.

Throughout the first week after seeing her, I tried to use the image for concentration practice. After about 2-3 days of concentration 24/7, the image started to fade. The more the image faded, the more frustration and depression crept in. At first I was able to counter that. Considered creating a construct of sorts to sense her whereabouts. Thought I got a hint of the part of the town where she might be.

During the weekend of the first week, I had become really clumsy so I decided to do some sports. This helped temporarily. A couple of evenings later I thought I saw a bat-shaped shadow flickering against the light in the corridor. Only saw it in the periphery and it disappeared when I looked directly at it. Felt sick, had a headache and could not focus for a couple of days. Hadn't practised concentration for a while, probably strained it a bit.

Exactly two weeks after the event with the explosive empathy, I felt her reach the bus stop, think of me, wait for me, wait for the bus and leave. I couldn't, as my course was still on-going. While her image in my mind has lost some of its depth, I can still feel something within me and it's soothing.

I find it amazing how technically I haven't even met her yet and she has already taught me this much about myself, human psychology and spirituality. However, this has brought me back to an old problem which I used to face in a completely different way. In the old days I could make things difficult for myself and enjoy my ego burn through the hardship if I just detached from those that seemed close. Now I can't detach this easily because it would mean losing the chance to meet someone that's already close without really having met them in the first place. Based on prior experience I've deduced that empathy is probably bidirectional, so I can't just enjoy the pain of being unable to meet up with her and use that for spiritual progress. At the same time, I can't do much to alleviate the situation, either. What I can do, is try to make things easier for myself by resolving my own burdens, as well as to change my attitude towards things. This should make things less painful for her. I'm sorry, for I have been ignorant of the consequences of my own actions as well as the consequences of the lack of my own actions.

One of the realizations a day or two ago was (once again) that everything I think I "have" is a privilege because not everyone has them, they cannot be taken for granted. Thus, I ought to be thankful for absolutely everything that I think I have, as well as to take the best care of these things (for they're not mine). It is a privilege to have a functional body, it is a privilege to see the world in all its colors, it is a privilege to know that a girl like that exists.

I'll try to use the situation for inspiration. A rough plan:

• Remain humble towards everyone and everything,
• avoid whining, ranting, thinking out loud to make it easier to keep the mind clear,
• maintain clarity of mind while working in order to turn work meditative,
• enjoy sports at least once per week,
• practice pranayama each morning,
• meditate each evening before sleep.

Family reunion

Times are changing. Also at work, one good colleague has left and another is planning to leave soon. It has become nearly impossible for things to continue the same way that they used to. Things will change, both at work as well as in my life.

Dream: Family reunion

On Wednesday morning I saw a family reunion. Sister slept on the floor in my room, and father slept on the balcony floor. It was cold outside so I opened the balcony door to let some warm air out and make it less cold for him, even if just a little.

In an unknown spaceous living room I saw uncle's family with a new kid. Grandpa stood by their side and cheered the kid.

Explosive empathy

Vortex on top of the head

A colleague gave a lecture at my course, which in itself is nothing special. Though, she used white slide background and sat in front of the projector screen. I got to witness the translucent cone / vortex that humans seem to have on top of their head. It's barely visible, unless one looks directly over the head of another person and they move in front of a bright background. In such case, the cone can be seen as a shadowy triangle pointing down to the top of their head.

I noticed that it seemed easier to focus on the top of her head than mine. Probably due to some blockages in my system. Found it mildly interesting but left things as is.

Just act normal

While waiting for the bus, an unknown girl in blue jacket approached the bus stop. For some reason, there was an "explosion" of empathy similar to what I've experienced once before. Couldn't find the references though. There were numerous acquaintances around so I tried to act normal, having small-talk while monitoring the behavior of that girl.

She stared and glanced at me while trying to hide it and act normal. It seemed as if she wanted to tell me something that she considered important but couldn't get to it because I was always busy chatting with someone else. She grew more and more annoyed as her stop approached. Ah well.

Tariff-man ..

.. to flip the tables at Wall Street.

Anyway, scheduled an order for buying some more stocks on Friday. Glanced at the wall of green and wondered if I should buy some other shares as well .. probably not, the price is up quite significantly.

Then on the weekend a buddy shared señor Trump's tweet regarding his market wars with China. On Monday all shares were about -5% already in the pre-market. Ah well.

Dream: Electronics

Saw a lot of different kinds of electronics in the dreams.

There was some kind of a simple device made of fairly robust components (old soviet BJTs, electrolyte caps, through hole diodes, etc.) that I had powered up on my shelf. Whenever I touched it, there was an arc of ESD from my finger to the closest component. However, the device didn't seem to mind. So I just poked at it and watched the arcing for fun.

Then there was some kind of a device which had an integrated circuit. I looked at it with quite a lot of zoom so I could poke around on the chip die. Accidentally chipped the die and had to undo.

Not electronics but there was also something plumbing-related (means energy-work) in one of the dreams.