Discrimination of info

Tried relighting the heart chakra and realized some mistakes which I had made on the Discord server. Apologized, and while doing so, realized some more about myself and the issues which I've been having for a while.

Today it occurred to me that one of the reasons why I don't really fit in anywhere is a concept which most people seem to be missing. I've been using this quote from Bhagavad Gita as a signature at the psychokinesis forum for many years:

A stable-minded person will neither hug nor hate the world, he will take things as they come.

It seems that generally people only want to hear happy news. It's as if they thought that all problems would disappear if they simply ignore them. For example, a lot of people refuse to read any news regarding the Corona virus because the news would make them feel bad.

Yesterday the neighbour visited again. This time was a bit different, though, for we got to discuss things. He had the idea that a lot of problems would disappear if TV, radio, internet were to disappear. That these media were only a means of propaganda and brainwashing. I tried to explain to him that mankind wasn't ready for a global network of telepathy and empathy yet, and that the internet was simply a technological alternative for the time being. I don't think I managed to convey it in a way which he could grasp.

Quite often when people say something which makes them upset or emotional. At times like these, I would point out that they're emotional simply because they're missing some of the viewpoints. However, when I describe some other viewpoint, it probably only upsets them even more .. for they don't want to hear it. They want to stay in the bubble where only their viewpoint is correct. Me trying to correct people in order to point out the multiple facets to everything is probably what causes problems in fitting in.

Dream: Shielding

Background

Posted this on the forum yesterday:

Related to the Otherlife movie, which reminded me of some old dreams from perhaps 10 years ago or so.
All of them had a "dungeon master" presence or some kind of a being that had designed the dream and observed my behaviour. The dreams were always designed to keep me preoccupied with something for a specific amount of time (until the alarm, typically). Some examples of what they tried:

• Taking my own memories of places, other people and trying to create drama in there. Their representations of the places and people were always off, though.
• Taking my memory of a place, and putting something in there that would catch my attention. For example, a piece of electronics or some kind of schematics or something. These guys did not know electronics nor could they draw schematics. They also tried with mystical-looking languages but rushed and also messed up with those.
• Suppressing my memories and stuffing me into a cell, smirking to see if I can find my way out.
• Replacing my memories with fake ones, confronting me and pointing out that I've done something bad. They then observed the internal conflict, hoping that I would take the bait.

These guys were pretty pissed at me because of how complicated I made their task. At least, that's what their emotions betrayed. They always had to come up with new dreams in order to avoid me waking up because it was their job. One night I woke up with the body still half-asleep and caught someone whispering things to the subconscious mind. Haven't had anything of the sort ever since.

Except for a bit different case, perhaps. Woke in a pretty dark realm with memories replaced. Lived in a wooden building and the townsfolk had figured out I was a witch or something, and came with pitchforks and torches and stuff. Created a chain of portals, each one to as bright a realm as I could imagine. About 30 portals later, I could remember that I had simply gone to bed and fallen asleep.

Has anyone else had similar dreams?

Shielding

Went to bed, visualizing myself in a warm pool of psi. Woke in some kind of a room with red walls. Sensed the intent of a psychic attack. Drew shields and maintained focus for until the focus of the attacker waned. Woke up and checked time. It was about 3 AM, I think. Fell asleep again and experienced very bright and vivid dreams up until the morning. Flew around a lot, had fun discussions with people and stuff. Each time I woke up, I saw the grid of light overlay. Even though I hadn't slept much, I felt pretty refreshed.

Varia

Minor precognition. Thought of taking headphones and listening to music while on the bus but felt like another colleague was going to take the bus. Enjoyed a nice discussion.

Synchronicities

Cat sometimes behaves weird. Not sure if it's some kind of a self-defence geist or something, but here's what happened today:

I ad a reddit post to sister. Cat cuts my trajectory back to my room. I stop and look at him. He performs a backwards somersault and I think hits against the floor, hurting himself. A second later he makes the sound that he usually makes when he gets hurt. He dashes for my foot, intending to bite it but suddenly stops and backs up. Sister comes over, asking what happened. The cat dashes at sister's hand and bites it, indicating that he got hurt.

With the psi getting thicker, there have been more cases where the cat behaves odd.

Synchronicities have become more exciting as well. Yesterday I had planned on renewing the passport (done at the police station). Stopped before the door and turned around because I got the feeling that I wasn't expected there. The usual road signs were also missing, so I thought maybe it had moved to some other part of the town. Nope, but as it turned out, need to book the time and pay the fee first. A couple of hours later I go for a lunchbreak. At the door, I notice an ad for an EEG test at the university applied psychology lab. I buy lunch and notice a friend at a table there. I join him and casually mention that I had realized one has to book the time before getting to renew the passport. He looks at me a bit weird and thanks me because he was just about to go to the police station for that. Also took the phone number for the EEG test .. really curious about the technology that they use, as well as getting some reference measurements for personal experimentation.

The thicker the psi field, the more other people seem to be synchronized to my activities. For example, today there was an active Skype chat going on with a colleague, who was debugging some of my code on Windows. I said I would rather work on something else .. and went to bed. A couple of hours later I came back and as it turned out, nothing had happened in the meantime. Usually people don't care if I'm Away, Offline or not, they still post stuff (if I'm at the laptop). While asleep or actually away, this doesn't happen .. which I find interesting. It's as if time stopped for X while I'm focused on Y.

Radiation tolerance

Bionerd23 on radiation tolerance:
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-woman-who-ate-chernobyl-s-apples?kwp_0=61282

Push away your fears and everything you've heard, and embrace the Zone

Cool..

Kaspar sleep-teleported

Focus on the left channel + upward flow of psi has improved empathy. It has become a lot easier to feel the surroundings again.

Have been feeling tired, tho. Have slept a lot.

Watched a few pk music videos with Kaspar. He disappeared several times today. Whistled a signal to which he responded, thanks to which I found him easily.

The first time I found him on top of a tree, gazing at the sunset. Also climbed the tree, not very happy about the tree. It's one of the most dangerous trees and not very easy to climb. It barely has enough branches to grab or hang from and it grows out from a stone wall.

The pasture land and field are separated with a stone wall. The next time I found him laying on the stone wall. Walked past him, to find a spot to also lay down and stare at the sky .. just like he was doing. Thought I had found the spot. Laid down but it made me grunt - a lot of rocks pushing against me, which made it uncomfortable. Walked back to Kaspar and told him that sleeping on the stone wall requires skill. Sought for another spot, found a better one this time. Laid down, observed the sky. A bird or a bat flew over, with a whoosh. Eventually mosquitoes started bugging me. Tried visualizing a shield to keep them off. I think it almost worked. When I heard other children coming, I stood up and walked past them, back to Kaspar.

I thought Kaspar had switched places on the stone wall or something. He was in another place, like 30 meters from the previous location. It turned out he had simply fallen asleep and I woke him up. He thought he had always been at the location he was now.

Next to the stone wall, there's an electrified fence. At some places, the wire has worn out and there's a periodic arcing.

His new location was on the stone wall, right next to one of the corners of the electrified fence that was arcing. Thus, I suspect he might've dozed off while focused on the arcing sound. With his consciousness moved to another place, his body must have followed somehow. Is teleportation really that simple?

Wow, Kaspar never ceases to amaze me. He wasn't too enthusiastic about it, tho. He was cold.

Mages vs mages

Yesterday while entering the kitchen for supper, I had a flashback: A sunrise, I'm in the field when an UFO descends onto the grass.

Last night I had a dream of a video game about mages vs. mages during the medieval times. There was a fortified town with a castle. Somewhere in the castle, there was a room with some sort of a cube (looked like a crystal), which we had to obtain. The cube was protected by other genius wizards. The game was all about outwitting other players by inventing advanced constructs and using them in inventive ways. -- the dream seems very similar to the Gaia comics.

The three of us had planned the attack to details. The plan was to infiltrate the castle to somehow get past a few shields and security installations. Once inside, we spread out to perform our individual tasks until some specific time when we would meet again. So far everything had gone as planned. I was waiting, the other two mages arrived. However, the master mage defending the castle had somehow exposed us and sent a bunch of mages to imprison us.

We had not anticipated this scenario and thus, my preparations for stealing the cube were pretty much useless. Had to improvise real quick. Considered the freedom of the three of us a higher priority than the cube. Teleported the three of us to a safe room somewhere far enough. Then thought what I could still do with the preparations that I had done for stealing the cube.

The crystal cube was in a room where the temperature distribution of the room was being monitored. I had managed to prepare a few shields around the cube and got the idea to remotely try to create a portal between the cube and the floor (between the two surfaces, there didn't seem to be any alarm mechanisms). Managed to create a point of hi-density psi between the two surfaces and started to stretch it to the extents of the cube .. remotely (just by visualizing the room, the objects and spells). Teleported the cube, the other 2 mages were very impressed, however, the dream had become very faint already.

Inspired

Found an inspiring video last night:

Psi became a lot more active. Couldn't sleep at night .. too energized. While watching the video, tension built up in the body. At some point, I sensed a small being hold my hand for about a minute. Couldn't see them, but I cold feel the warmth of their hand and the soothing calmness of their mind. In my mind, they looked similar to the beings at Häädemeeste (glowing orange, beings of light).

Found this video particularly inspiring for learning radio physics and electronics as well as pk experimentation with portals. For starters @ pk experimentation, tried to make a small portal above our WiFi accesspoint and link the other end to the summerhouse (spread it around the whole area, there). There had been problems of WiFi coverage there. I wonder if they would see a new WiFi connection there..

Contributed some to my room construct, which has been inspired by father's abduction story. A thin yellow-white fog that smoothly illuminates the whole room without shadows. In addition to that, this construct has healing, anti-dust, anti-smoke, anti-mosquito, anti-fly properties and protects the room against unwanted entities.

While focused on the room construct, I saw a lot of movement. A dark blob to my left moved towards the living-room, another dark blob moved at the window. Saw a white flash for a millisecond.

Took a tea, a shower and meditated for about 30 minutes. Experienced the balcony door move. Mind had become focused on it in the background.

Distractions

During the first couple of days on the vacation, I felt pretty energized. Still inspired by the Superman project, I was impressed by the agility and accuracy of my body movements. Sensed every little detail and event in the surroundings. Skin was suddenly way stronger than usually (no gloves for transporting rocks, tree branches, thorny bushes or fastening screws from between fingers).

At night, I kept building on it. I remember that somehow, sister helped.

A few days into vacation, I started feeling more tired, both physically and mentally. Slept a lot (after a few days with pretty much no sleep at all). At the same time, weather became rainy (it had become quite a draught already). Also, flies started attacking me since then. Moreover, since then I've noticed disturbances of psi in the lower chakras.

Last night I noticed the first anti-celibacy dream again. Usually involves me doing research on something interesting and becoming distracted by some ad that pops up somewhere on the screen. Woke back to sleep and had a vivid dream. It started with a list of key people (name, age, career, personality, hobbies, etc.), none of whom I've seen or met anywhere before. Knowing the people, I then witnessed the situation unfold. There was a girl with her boyfriend. She didn't like her boyfriend, although she had nothing against him. Her boyfriend left for a moment. A slightly older man (handsome, more romantic, a bit famous) recognized the situation and came to chat with the girl. He "stole" her heart in a rude way, but the girl enjoyed it. Next morning, the girl's ex-boyfriend took a bat and went to threaten the older man. Woke up, since I found the whole thing a bit too predictable and boring.

While writing this, I realized the reality and those 2 dreams were pretty much the same. Only that the second dream covered a lot of different perspectives at once.

Occasional pk

Found it amazingly windy a couple of days ago. Took a few minutes for playing with pk, before another satellite pass. Wind was leaning trees towards my left. As it started raining, rainfall was tilted towards the left as well. Changed the angle of rainfall, blew a few branches or leaned the several against the wind. Amazing, how easily it responded.

Haven't practised rain shielding for quite some time. Tried it, and it worked for a minute or two. No raindrops on me for a minute, while it was still raining heavily around me.

Bored in silence at work, glanced at an empty plastic bottle on the table. Acquired a faint feeling of the object, but couldn't roll it much.

Outside again, created swirls in the grass; enjoyed wind blowing from my right, turned it 90 degrees and blew on the trees next to me.

hour med

An old buddy asked whether I still practised meditation. He had the same problem after military service .. spirituality normalized out.

Shared this amazing demonstration video by Michael Grubb:

Browsing through Michael's videos, he found this one:

Thanks a lot for all of these.. decided to take the time and meditate for about an hour again.

This meditation session was different from the ones before. For most of the time, I was in the darkness or void with depth. Occasionally there were flashes of white light. Saw some more subtle fears and shields, for protecting this body from my own pk and geisting. Released them.

A lot of interesting options / feelings. Mind sure got tangled real often. Which wasn't always a bad thing..

End of summer vacation

More work and less meditation + pk than expected. Though, the goal of spiritual progression during the vacation was still fulfilled. Re-found the source of love and compassion during one of the meditation sessions. Moved psi upward until it got to the heart chakra and started transforming. The transformed psi then spread out throughout the body.

Advertised "Toward the Terra" to Kevin. He replied with "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. The two really are alike.

Several attempts at shielding against mosquitoes and rain.

We had used some random tools to dig for potatoes on the field, since the tools meant for this job were lost and broken. A few days later we needed one of the tools and couldn't find it.

Tried multiple methods:

• visualizing it and looking around (didn't get the location)
• casting a radar-shield (the object was out of range and the direction was pretty ambiguous)
• using a bicycle spoke bent into a twig (got 2 directions - one where I thought it was and the other coincided with the results of the radar shield, which was pretty inaccurate)
• clearing the mind and connecting to the object, asking where it was (only got answers for simple yes-and-no questions; too much analytical overlay)
• nah, too lazy to search for it .. I'll just go and find it. Just walked straight to it and picked it up, realizing how simple it actually was.

Yesterday it was a bit windy. There were some pot flowers on the stairs. One of them "fell" over the edge, or rather, made a somersault and landed on its bottom as if nothing had happened. Aunt was puzzled when she saw that happen.

Edit: I guess atious from the forum paid a visit one day. A strong feeling of him and his avatar appeared.

Summary, a random one

I didn't ask them, but it seems that Jacob suddenly always wants to play with me. After the last OBE, aunt also seems to enjoy my company more than before.

The light bulb in their outdoor lamp had exploded about 2 days before our arrival. That was roughly the day of that OBE (might not be related, but worth a note nevertheless).

First evening, Kevin invited me to play some drums at his friend's place. It's amazing, how fast one can learn when they're "in the moment". Though, my "in the moment" got lost on the 3rd day after an unpleasant phone call.

Haven't felt as floaty here as I did back home. Some mild weather manipulation, light-stepping on loose stones, reducing the weight of stones, micro-pk on a tractor engine and everyday events. Redirected some falling stones and shield-protected Jacob when he would've almost cut himself with a knife.

Kevin had succeeded in rain-shielding himself yet again (kept his clothes dry at his graduation even though it was raining a lot). Being chased by a growling dog once, he had made a shield and when the dog reached the shield, it fled in the opposite direction, tail between the legs and whining. Awesome..

On our way here, we were reading on Grebennikov's Cavernous Structures Effect with father. This made me wonder about the purpose of my life. Everything started to seem so tiny and meaningless. Discussed it with dad and found everything even more pointless. I think this is what triggered the following dream:

I was looking to my left. There were my problems and worries. In front of me, there was something else and there was also something different to my right. A master told me something in the lines of:

You're a good ???
You're mediocre at ??? (self-control?)
And you're a bad sorcerer.

You can improve it all.

"Bad sorcerer" caught my attention. He told me to start looking towards my right. I think there was a feeling of mysticism there.

Windlift

Woke up at 6 AM, it was cold with a thin blanket in 9 degrees Celsius. Had been sleeping with the balcony door open.

It seems that the shield now works against mosquitoes .. realized that they were just a projection of my fear. This explains why the first mosquitoes appeared in my room several months before their official release date.

It had been raining at night and the sky was heavily clouded. Cleared most of it up before I left for school. I think I semi-consciously geisted some wind on a seagull (accompanied with the feeling of falling). It flew onto a street lamp, but wind pushed it off right when it had landed. It was making circles, trying to get enough lift to land on the lamp again. It wasn't too happy about it, but eventually gave up and managed to get enough lift to land on the roof nearby. Levitation should have a better degree of freedom.

Got a sloppy 'A' at the exam. I'm pretty happy about it.

There was an awesome wind today, I almost became airbourne while crossing the pedestrian bridge. The wind was pushing upwards from my back. Saw a few nice mini-tornadoes lifting leaves and stuff.

Smoke shield

While meditating on the balcony yesterday morning, the neighbors below decided to start smoking again. Tried to project the thought of quitting smoking.

Built up version 3 of the smoke shield on the balcony door. Intended for this one to eat smoke on the other side and emit a smell of flowers into the room.

Woke up at 4.44 AM again. While waiting for falling asleep again, 2 mosquitoes popped up. So, I decided to add that to the shield. Intended on the smoke shield to reflect them as well.

Wiggling nest of equations

Oh man. It took effort to make myself plow through those equations and derivations. Maybe it's due to not having any tests / exam too often this semester or something. That's the last subject of that sort .. for one year, that is. Well, it's not over yet, got to work through each derivation until I know them all by heart at the exam. There's one day left to do that before the exam.

Need to climb to where Treasure Hunter stands. He said his mind is clear 24/7. I realized that I hadn't even dreamt of this .. seemed too far to reach. Last time I dreamt of being able to clear my mind on will and keep it quiet for about an hour. Setting one's goals too low doesn't do any good.

I'm glad I took the courage to set the goal of levitation by summer. Haven't achieved it yet, but it seems to be motivating a lot .. deadline is approaching =D.

Wrigley's Orbit seems to cause a head-ache and deprive the feeling of atmospheric density. Eating seems to boost the feeling of atmospheric density for a moment and then result in sleepiness and in an uncomfortably pleasant feeling of being energized, unable to sit still and study.

It's supposed to be raining according to weather forecasts again (for the last couple of weeks). The fact is that it's raining and has been raining everywhere around the town, but it's still dry here. Well, the humidity level in the air is pretty high due to the heavy clouds that have been flying over for a couple of weeks.

A few weeks ago it popped into my mind once that it should start raining. I pushed it aside, thinking: "Not until the flood dries up". Now it has almost dried up.

CFL glowing

For a short moment, I saw a part of the Compact Fluorescent Lamp (CFL) glowing yesterday evening (it was switched off). I only saw it from the corner of my eyes.

Approached it with my analytical mind, trying to figure out if it might have been the LED on my shaving machine or the headlights of a car parking. Looked at the CFL from multiple angles, but the LED didn't shine through the spiral at all. The same seemed to be the case with car lights. Moreover, the part of the bulb that glowed, was facing away from the window. The first thought that popped into mind was static electricity - these bulbs work on high voltage. Though, I hadn't been close enough for this.

Cool. It would be fun to get this consistent enough =). 

Edit: It was static electricity. The lamp seems to be amazingly sensitive to electrostatically charged objects moving around in the room.

Lately I've been watching birds flying, imagining, how flying looks & feels like. It often feels pretty surreal to look back on the road and keep walking, feeling birds flying above me. Took a nap and thought it would be fun to see and feel through a bird's body. Saw a girl walking a dog instead. <snor>. Fell asleep.

Practiced some energy manipulation before going to sleep. Gathered psi below my feet for balance and then started leaning myself forward, slowly. As I was leaning forward, a shield popped up in front of me and pushed me back. Tried to lean forward as much as possible, without falling over. It was pretty fun, but for some reason this shield didn't work when I had leaned too far .. fell to bed.


Hm, 11 *C, 11:11:00 AM at the time of writing this.

Blackout, a big one

Someone has set up a toy windmill on their balcony across the street again. It cheers me up each time I see it. 

I'm falling asleep during OBE practices more easily again.

This time I set myself a goal, but it seems like it would take ::sigh:: some time before I'm able to achieve it. I wanted to have an OBE and fly to the Moon, to look for aliens and owtwelve's practice grounds =P.

Realized I was about to fall asleep again and was about to wake up. I had been observing Mom. She asked something from someone else in the same room and wrote down some kind of a meeting time that seemed work-related (6 PM or something, if I recall it correctly).  Hopefully she doesn't go calling us, asking "What happened? Are you alright?" due to having felt my presence again =D. She once did, after a meditation session in a tent at our summerhouse. Can't find that blog entry though..

Woke up and attempted to have an OBE.
<something happened, everything went dark and UPS-es started beeping>
Opened my eyes and went to the balcony. It looked as if about 1/4 of the town was dark. The blackout lasted for 30 minutes.

Edit: According to experts, the protection fuses had switched off seemingly without a reason. Blackout lasted for 35 minutes.

Since there was no electricity, I thought it would be fun to practice pk on the lamp, trying to light it up. I overestimated my courage and stopped it before it happened. I had lost awareness of my hands and felt the lamp with all its wiring instead. Awareness was gathering in the lamp from the rest of my body as well (I could still see it through the physical eyes though). The feeling of "atmospheric density" around the lamp (me) was reaching a level where I became afraid of accidentally shattering it. It contains a small amount of mercury, so it wouldn't be a very good idea to break it.

Electricity was back. Probably fell asleep. I had decided to sleep with the balcony door open this time. Well, it turned out quite cold and even the warm socks of psi were not enough that I had conjured before the OBE attempts. The rest of the body was cold as well. Although it's about 28 - 29 *C in the sun during the day, I guess it's about 5 *C at night (at least it was 9 *C in the morning, when the sun was out). Didn't sleep too well..

Wind shieldin'

Formed a construct and attempted to reconfigure my subconscious so that these accidents wouldn't happen again. Got to gather the psi, Bindu and practice control again.

It was quite windy when I was walking back home in the evening. Practiced shielding against this opposing force. Also tried to push wind against wind, which had some cool results as well. Air was circling, changing directions around me and pushing against my shields. It felt similar to holding a piece of plywood against the wind (the shield was crude, but simple). Enhancing the aerodynamics of the shield lessened the force that wind applied to it (caused by how I visualized the shield).

I feel I'm becoming more attached with each day again..

Blizzard shielding

There was quite a blizzard today. Crossing the pedestrian bridge was quite difficult with this snow and wind. My eyes were being bombarded with snow so that it hurt. Although it was perfect for shielding practices, it didn't seem to have much of an effect on the snow. The wind didn't reach my skin, but the shield couldn't do much against the impulse of the incoming snowflakes.

Made psi spiral around me through the shield later. Well, the wind probably slowed down and it wasn't snowing so heavily anymore, but I think it worked a bit better than just visualizing a shield repelling off snowflakes and redirecting wind. Found that there was a discussion on spiraling energy movement on the forums as well.

Started listening to owltwelve's "atmospheric density" beat and within the first minutes, headphone wire started jolting around, though I didn't move myself. Pretty weird geisting and slightly distractive .. makes it somewhat more difficult to focus on the vibrations of the "atmosphere" or psi. =D I keep falling asleep while listening to the beat. Tempo seemed to get slower and slower and soon I was dreaming.

Took a break and went to kitchen. Corridor fluorescent lamp flickered, boom, a total blackout for a second or two. As I entered my room again, a fuse flipped out and my room went dark. It turns out that the lamp in father's room had burned out.

Opened the balcony for some fresh air a couple of hours later and there was another power shortage. And I was wondering why the streetlamps were all dark. Hm, it seems my control needs some more work =D.

Autoshielding 2

While eating in the morning, some of it got stuck in the throat when I was thinking about other stuff. I tried to resolve it in a clean way, but I couldn't do it quickly enough and had to give up to reflexes. All the pressure got loose from my mouth and I could see the whole kitchen being sprayed even though I tried to stop it with my hand. I could see it spray everywhere in the air, but when I was about to clean it up, I couldn't see any spots except for the few drops from my hand. Might sound somewhat disgusting, but it just seemed quite strange to me that all of the thousands of kefir drops failed to hit anything (even the floor).

Attempted to push that piece of wood over again. Also took an attempt on my room door. I'm trying a new method for gaining the feeling of an object now. When looking at the object, I visualize the feeling of my consciousness spreading all over the object (like creating a construct of the object over the object itself). Before I usually jumped straight into visualizing the feeling of the object moving and sometimes I occasionally hit the feeling of the whole object for a moment, sometimes not.