A curious dream, a realization and a couple of observations.
Dream: Visitors
Last week I had a dream where I spent the night playing video games and stuff. For some reason, there were a couple of members from LC (one of the Discord servers) in my room and I felt uneasy about it. I asked them to state their purpose but it seemed that they were "zombies" (asleep or not conscious about it). They themselves probably also wouldn't have known why they were there.
Realization: Procrastination
Had a long discussion about my problems with mom. By the next morning I had realized a potential cause for the problems. Back in about 2011 I had fallen for a girl but I never told her that (hesitated) and eventually I sort of forgot about it but it had still been bothering me ever since.
So I decided to try and see if telling her about it now would help me overcome the problem with the left eye and me being unhappy with myself. We were sort of friends but after I described my issue, she stopped responding. I did suspect that this might happen.
Though, I think I managed to forgive myself and I started feeling better. While I think it's too early to say anything for certain about the left eye, I did notice that it behaved in an interesting way. Previously it used to dry up every now and then. Today the eye sometimes just became wet without any pain.
Observations: Image
Recently some people on LC have been treating me a bit differently. One of them said that when I posted something, it felt like a refreshing breeze of wind from the ocean. Another one thought I had transcended or something.
I wonder if this might be related to my attempt at making my field of consciousness more "compact".
Today I was surprised at the books which the LC book club members had picked and who picked what kind of books. Several books on the spiritualism and enlightenment topics. I don't think I promoted these topics in my posts there. Ordered a couple of the books from the list.
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