The Sin

Dear Diary,

Today I sinned.

For a while, I had been having a thought which I tried not to finish. Eventually I decided to let the thought finish without cutting it off all the time. The moment it was born, I felt a significant change in energy and saw a shadow dart across the road from my left to my right. It seemed as if the shadow had tried to get the energy, and once it finally got it, it fled with it.

I hope that the damage which I did with it, can somehow be reversed or healed.

Edit: Also worth noting that I had watched xxxHOLiC episode 14 recently. This was about waves, and the power of words.

A summary

Just a summary of recent observations.

Sometimes while laying down onto the bed with my eyes closed, I've noticed a white glow around the pillow. One night I removed the pillow and laid down on my back, instead, but the white glow was still there. So, the glow lingers.

I think it might've been on Tuesday or Wednesday morning that the sky was cloudy but I saw the light shining through everything. The light was not yellow nor golden but orange.

Last week I read Tarot cards for myself, and it indicated a lot of self-issues in love-life. Also, just as I picked up the Tarot deck before the reading, I suddenly had a strong tingling in both legs up to knees. Anyway, since that reading I had been feeling distant and struggled with letting go.

Yesterday a cousin came for a visit, and somehow the timing of everything was perfect regardless of the fact that I did not know any of it beforehand.

Drained

The rising of energy happened for a few consecutive days and nights. By now it has subsided and I feel drained. A bit of inspiring news and listening to music has helped, though.

During a call on Tuesday, the connection dropped a couple of times, and lights flickered a lot, at times. The flickers were short and the UPSes were not triggered.

I think it might've been on Thursday that I tried to blow-dry my hair but realized that usually I switch on the heating slightly before the fan. I thought I should've done it the other way around, for improved safety. It was then that I noticed that the heater did not switch on even though I had flicked the switch. I tried again but it still didn't. After switching off both the heater and the fan and switching them both on again did it start working again. Sighed at the power of a mere stray thought.

The left fireplace

Had an unannounced busy weekend with a visit to grandparents. At some point in the morning there was a smell of something burning. Later it turned out that it was coming from the chimney, as the hatch was open. Nobody had been using the chimney for a great many years, so we were surprised. After coming back home, yesterday evening I was feeling a bit down over my lack of dating skills and had difficulties falling asleep. I tried relaxing the body and found a new way of doing that.

I visualized a laser from the root chakra to regions within the body. The laser would heat up the body parts and release tension / stress as it illuminates them. This worked surprisingly well.

Though, soon after, I started getting waves of heat going up the body but mostly on the left side of the body. Additionally, I was seeing yellow or golden rings shrinking in front of my closed eyes. This was while I was laying in the bed on my right side. As I rolled over, the heat waves were still on the left side but I stopped seeing the rings of light. The waves of heat came from the feet up to the throat chakra but rarely beyond it. In the regions washed over by the waves of heat, it felt calm, soothing and a bit blissful. I was sweating a lot.

Today morning I'm feeling increased energy density in and just above the head.

Chest

Recently there has been quite a bit of work stress, so I've been practising relaxation with focus on the chest.

At first there was a lot of tension and sadness at the heart. As this was released, then lungs and the chest were next. Dedicated most of the weekend for that but there's still pain being released from there. Also, I try to keep it warm and I try to maintain focus there to keep heating the channels. Sometimes I would visualize an upward vorticular flow through the central channel, specifically at the upper back.

Sometimes there have been peaks in stress, and sometimes electricity is affected. Yesterday, for example, I took the phone out of the pocket and nearly dropped it (that would have surely left a dent in the floor). At that moment, the kitchen lights flickered a lot.

Today evening I've been feeling curiously lightweight. Chased the cat a bit, and it seemed easy to run or jump without causing a thud.

Energy release

Recently a person interested in psychokinesis, paranormal and spiritualism found me. This explains a dream from some weeks ago. One evening while we were exchanging experiences over a call, I got entrained to the wall just behind the display.

One night I felt quite a bit of warm red energy being released in the body and felt too energetic to sleep.

Also, a few times I've felt the head become thick with energy.

Dream: Babies

A couple of days ago I had a dream where I lost a friend. That day an online friend suddenly removed all their messages and unfriended, without telling what I had done wrong.

Today morning in a dream I was on my way back home when I heard someone calling my name. I answered and looked around but couldn't figure out the source. I was called again, and again I couldn't see anyone calling.

Saw a woman on the other side of the road, and two babies playing around her. The woman was asleep while the babies seemed to be playing dangerously close to the road. I tried to keep them away from the road.

One of the babies had my name, and that's why I had heard someone calling me but couldn't see where.

The baby with my name seemed a bit odd. When I looked at his face, he looked much older than the rest of his body. Also, he spoke advanced stuff.

The other baby looked normal.