Focus

I think I made a semi-conscious decision on changing my pk practices. These "chest" exercises are back, but not only during meditation. Unpleasant thoughts pop up when I let my mind wander too much. I've been somewhat afraid of sharp blades for quite a while and constructs of knives start forming around me when I'm beginning to lose focus. Even though they occasionally fly through me, they don't injure me. Quite challenging for self-control.

Concentrating on the wall in front of me worked pretty well. It would be awesome to be able to completely focus on one thought for about an hour.

I thought I would go jogging .. guess not, pants haven't been washed. Thought I would go to gym then .. nope, those pants haven't been washed either. Can't let me escape my meditation =D.

Meditated on a Ganesha statue. Acquired the feeling of the statue and the feeling that I think this statue was meant to relay. The statue was wisely smiling at my consciousness, easily penetrating my ego layer. When I popped out of focus and thought I've got the feeling of it, it was there, smiling again, as if asking: "You really think so?"

After slipping with my focus, I started feeling tired again, just like I did before starting meditation. Went to bed and continued meditation in the dreams. My ego suit (or eggar suit, like Rich2150x called it =D) now feels soft and clean.

Meditated on Ganesha again before bed. There's this feeling of unconditional love and gentleness to this statue and when I focus on this, the atmospheric density around my head gets a boost and I start feeling warm all over.

Though, this feeling was gone by the next morning. Didn't feel too comfortable.