Just a post

with some random stuff before I forget them. Just for the record, the post is from Finland.

Speedwalking

I think it was at the end of last week that I thought I was too late for the bus to work which I have usually taken (departs at 7:50). I think I started at around 7:34 but I decided to take a walk anyway because the next bus (departing at 8:20) would also be fine (just wouldn't leave a margin). Considering that I have managed to cover the distance in about 25 - 35 min, there was plenty of time for the 8:20 bus. Due to this, I did not hurry. Once I reached the bus station, I still saw the 7:50 bus. Checked the time, it was 7:50. Then some guy went past me, running for the bus. If he hadn't, then I wouldn't have chosen to bother the bus driver because of me being late. Anyway, got on the bus and then started to wonder how it was possible that I had suddenly made my record (16 min) without even trying. My previous record was 21 min and then I was walking as fast as I could. Throughout the walk I was in my thoughts and didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

Lightstepping

On Wednesday night, I had trouble sleeping again. Woke up during the night to wash the blanket with tears and apply eye drops. I really enjoyed the days when I didn't have to do that. Might be that the air is too dry.

Anyway, drank some water and went back to bed. Had an LD or OBE where I was walking past some houses with all sorts of fences. I figured I was lightweight enough to walk on top of the fence. Jumped there, and practiced lightstepping to avoid any damage the fence. It was a lovely morning and the weather was nice and sunny. In the yard of one of the houses, there were people chatting .. though, I was probably unnoticeable / invisible enough.

Sometimes there were low-hanging tree branches on top of the fence, so I shrunk myself to fit underneath.

Reached a place with some trees, flew up and touched the branches and leaves. It was awesome, I could feel them roughly the same way as I did with the physical body. Simply the dimensions of my arm / hand were now arbitrary and defined by visualization.

Not sure whether this was an OBE because I did not have 360 deg vision (it was closer to how I see with the body) but then again, I never really tried to have wider FoV. While I did have a form, it was not very underdefined and I couldn't see myself. The environment was very vivid and detailed.

Another suicidal on Discord

Instead of actively trying to "help" (in other words, "make things worse"), I sometimes simply visualized sitting next to him. No words, no intent, just sitting. The visualization was not very concentrated but I hope it helped at least a little.

At some point I could no longer feel his presence, but it reappeared again in the evening. Since then I've had the feeling that I cannot do any more.

While thinking about it, my aunt called. She's obviously a bit depressed due to the lack of social interaction. She needs to chat all the time but since moving to a different farm, she has been rather lonely. Anyway, discussed the psychology of depression with her, too.