One night without disturbing dreams and then lost the energy with the next one.
A rather sad morning, full of karmic effects.
Realized that I often bash right in, when I see an obstacle. Then it hurts and the more it hurts, the more I increase the speed and force. Then it hurts even more .. so on.
Also, for some reason, the mind still considers difficulty as a matter of honour. The more miserable, the more humility, the more challenge, the better.
One more mind pattern: everything must be in balance. When there's joy, there must be misery and vice versa. However, when looked at from a holistic point of view, then nothing can be out of balance. So, the idea of balancing seems to be just a habit or a construct.
Want to overcome all this. Want to change the attitude towards everything.
I guess it might be rather funny and sad for me to look at me struggling there.
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