White robe

A couple of nights ago I had persistent hypnagogic imagery of a white cloth. At first it had a golden glow to it, which gradually faded away. The less of the glow, the more transparent the cloth became, eventually becoming indistinguishable from the darkness. The cloth was definitely nonphysical, for it had astral qualities. At one hand it reminded me of silk, but it was quite a bit thicker.

Yesterday morning at the office there was a power surge, I think. The UPS was triggered and our equipment seemed to be fine. However, soon after the incident one of the building's main routers started dying. Announced the lack of internet to a remote colleague through a video call, using the same internet connection. Weird how technology works nowadays. It was only after the call that MS Teams recognized that actually there was no internet, and didn't allow me to login anymore.

Sigils

Something which I've been meaning to post for about a week, but kept procrastinating.

Sister had made a sigil, and while describing what I had read about these, I realized something.

In the N-dimensional consciousness-space, one can move around by focusing on a "feeling" of sorts. Similarly to the analogy of walking in the dark with a candle, these feelings don't point to any particular end .. they're like linked lists.

I think sigils serve as a mnemonic for these feelings / directions. In other words, they're like compasses in the N-dimensional space of consciousness.

In that space, it's very easy to become lost, especially when one finds themselves in a foreign place navigating while asleep. By memorizing sigils in such a way that they would seep down into the subconscious mind, it should be possible to preserve the sense of direction. With a memorized book of sigils, one would basically have a map in their mind.

Suddenly the old tales of witches make more sense.

Edit:

Ah, I also wondered if Tetragrammaton was a square sigil. At some point in history, there was a serious interest in finding the name of the God. It was thought that if one knew the name, then they would obtain great powers. Basically, they would learn the direction to God in the N-dimensional consciousness-space.

If such a direction were to exist, then I think it might indicate polar singularities in that space.

Glowing cat

Slept a lot yesterday and still felt quite tired. As a hypnagogic image I saw myself looking down on the cat on the floor, looking up to me.

There was also something similar to an astral projection experience where I moved through the apartment. I noticed that the lamp in the corridor was very dimly lit. Wondering why, I went closer. While this might've been overlay already, I saw that the lamp was covered with pieces of cloth so that it would not shine that bright at night.

Today morning I saw the cat glowing red from underneath his fur again. This is at least the 2nd if not the 3rd time in total. This kind of vision faded away in maybe about 10 seconds or so.

Built Hamel's oscillator (clicky for Steven Dufresne's version) yesterday / today but similarly to what was stated in his book, neodymium magnets tend to be too strong for it. They dampen the oscillations too much. I thought it wouldn't be that much of a problem given the distance between the magnets in my setup.

Feng-palm

With these realizations occurring, tension loosened and waves of heat engulfed more of the chest. Smaller issues burned and let the fire spread further. However, with the more significant blockages gone (consequence of the realizations), prana could make its way from the tail up to the top of the head.

Last night it took me a while to fall asleep because of the heat and the constant release and burning of old thoughts, thought patterns, emotions. I would fall asleep and then startle awake for hours.

Dream: Dog-Cat

Eventually I did fall asleep but had sleep paralysis. I was in bed, couldn't move .. at first I just laid there. Then at some point the cat came next to my bed, I think. I think it was the cat, because its presence reminded me of the cat. But this creature made the sound of a large old dog panting while staring at me in the bed. Then a cat's paw creeped up to the blanket but I think that was my imagination because the dog did not move nor did its sound change .. and the cat was not really there. I tried to rise and check the dog but only ended up waking my body again.

The same heat, constant release and burning of thoughts. And, of course, the constant sound of "flames roaring up the chimney" (central channel).

Dream: Feng-palm

Managed to fall asleep again. Someone came, pointed at the bed and showed what a mess it was. I wouldn't have cared much because I was tired, but regardless, I looked at it as well. It looked like a pile of garbage. This someone asked if I had even noticed the worms crawling around. I hadn't, and still couldn't see any .. but while cleaning the bed a bit, I found that underneath the matress there were literally old garbage bags still waiting when they'd be thrown out. Well, I guess the Feng Shui of my bed could be improved a notch (Feng Shui failure aka feng-palm?).

Checked the time, it was less than 2 AM (had gone to bed at 11 PM). After that, I failed at each and every dice roll for sleep. Well, I would have probably gotten some sleep if I didn't have to wake so early.

Bain

An interesting podcast from Bob Bain, again.

While the terminology seems a bit strange, a lot of what Von Braschler says, also matches my experience.

Phone call

Paid a visit to the conveniences (convenient because it's at home, and it's for free, too!). While there's nothing remarkable about that, I got a phone call while in there. I thought it can probably wait until I wash my hands. The call stopped after just a few seconds (not common among my acquaintances). Checked the number after I had washed my hands. Unknown number but from the same country, at least. Tried to call back ... "the dialed number is not in use". Hmm..

Iron bucket

Watched Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 on Wednesday. One of the most realistic dramas that I've seen so far.

There's something with the forks recently. For the past couple of weeks there have been a statistically significant number of forks dropping. A couple of days ago the institute director lost her fork at the canteen. We looked around but couldn't find it right away. Eventually found it right next to my feet which seemed a bit strange because I was sitting some distance from where the fork was dropped. While dropping knives or forks is supposed to symbolize visitors, I haven't noticed any visitors. Hmm .. now that I think about it, sister did pay a visit last week.

Flipped the header and footer of the bed. Since then I've been sweating more while asleep. I wonder if it's because the air circulation beneath the mattress is not as good on the other side.

A couple of dreams have stood out recently.

Dream: Aunt-in-law

I had spent most of the night in our garage at the farm and started preparing for a return. While I was tying my shoelaces, aunt-in-law appeared and we started chatting about clothing. I complained that I haven't found reasonable pants nor shoes at the stores anywhere. She suggested that I order new shoes online. Although I had considered doing that, I've been somewhat worried about them not fitting too well.

Even though the discussion topic was nothing special, I found it weird to see her. I used to think she wasn't the type to roam about in dreams. I was also amazed at the clarity of her speech which I've found to be indicative of the ability to remain conscious while asleep.

Additionally I was a bit surprised to see how realistic my pants looked like. However, my shoes did not - I haven't put forth conscious effort in making them look realistic yet.

Dream: Treasure hunting in a castle

Today morning I had a dream where I visited a castle with a gang of 4 (I think). The underground levels of the castle had not been fully dug out yet, but the archaeologists had found a chain descending down into the dirt. Our gang set out to carefully extract it.

It turned out to be a small iron smelting pot or bucket. Not a very good symbol. I told the guy who had uncovered it to gently put it back. We fled as fast and as quiet as we could (to avoid displeasing the spirits).

Woke up for a moment, turned around in bed and fell asleep again.

I was still in the castle, trying to find my way out without displeasing the spirits. There was some kind of an event at an auditorium. Others went straight through some plants to reach the exit. I tried to avoid any kind of interaction, for which I eventually ended up spiraling out of the room clockwise. Just before the exit, I passed the podium from the left. This seemed to have been the path which the king used to take to reach the podium (for some reason this just popped into mind while sneaking my way through).

The next room was as large as the auditorium, just reserved for a museum. I think it was easier to leave from there (unlike the previous room it didn't have a crowd of people and a maze of plants in the way).

Due to the way the people were often walled in while building castles, these places are generally haunted and one needs to tread very carefully in order not to wake their spirits. I think I've had a few dreams of visiting castles before but either me or someone else from the group has managed to piss off the spirits which has released all hell. This time the gang seemed to have been careful enough.

Red hands

Felt sick while going to work in the morning. Also felt slightly nauseous at the bus. Figured I had probably caught cold on the previous days (it was somewhat wet, windy and chilly sometimes).

Today while coding at work I randomly looked at my hands for a moment and suddenly remembered something which I haven't experienced.

The flashback:

• I'm standing outside with just a T-shirt and the weather is as cold as it is at the moment (spring weather, windy and perhaps a few degrees).
• Thanks to tummo, it's not cold for me. The body feels perfectly calm and healthy. There's quite a bit of heat radiating from my body.
• My hands look abnormally red. The blood circulation is better than it has ever been before.
• There's also the familiar feeling of seeing things for what they are.
• Though, I feel slightly older as well.

Thus far, my blood circulation has typically been such that my hands have been at ambient temperature.

Why I may have witnessed this scene somewhere before (such as a dream or something), I probably semi-subconsciously blocked it because my hands looked so freaking bloody red.

Some dude is coming to country to teach the Wim Hof method. It's not Hof himself and the event costs quite a lot .. I won't go. In my opinion, these things lose their value when there's a lot of people around and when someone is collecting money for it. I know I can learn these things on my own as well.

Had some strange humor again today. What I said seemed totally absurd but actually had meaning. Struggled maintaining a straight face.

Hypnagogia: Blue portal

Two evenings ago just before going to bed I noticed a strange visualization occurring in the back of my mind.

Pitch black darkness. There are 2-3 figures whom I can't see but can sense in the darkness, because they have dark robes.

There's a bright blue portal (or two of them, not sure) which I can both see as well as cannot see because it's covered by a projection of darkness.

I can tell that the portal is meant for these figures that are waiting right next to it. The figures wait for a second or two, then enter the portal one by one.

Since I'm quite close to the portal (at least one of them), I become curious about it. Although it feels as if the portal is not there for me, it doesn't close. I'm about to draw my attention away from it, as it suddenly starts to feel as if the portal is now meant for me to explore.

I stretch an arm and touch the portal. It feels liberating. I slowly step towards it, then eventually step all the way through. There doesn't seem to be anything except darkness on the other side (same as the side from where I had come).

I'm about to fall asleep (due to nothing happening) when suddenly I see a creature in front of me, amidst all the darkness. A large blue non-humanoid creature that looked highly intelligent and in a calm state of mind. I was a bit startled by its looks and the image vanished .. fell asleep.

Owl the Surgeon

Most of the dreams last night I spent in my room or its alternatives (it wasn't completely identical).

Dream(s): In my room

Father visited and we chatted for hours before he returned (he's currently abroad). I don't remember what we chatted about, though.

After he left, the cat was about to bother the tenant, so I produced a meow to get the cat into my room instead. In reality, the door to my room was closed whereas in the dream it wasn't.

There was an owl (similar to the one in the staring owl dream) looking after me from a bookshelf. The owl was cute, even though it was large and already quite old. It flew onto my lap and cut into my left side with its claws. I did not pay too much attention to it, for the cat also claws me sometimes. When I was about to go back to bed, I noticed that I was bleeding. I couldn't spot a wound large enough, so I simply cleaned it off and went back to bed. In reality, noticed that a cold pain in the left side of my chest has disappeared. Respect and a lot of thanks to the owl for the surgery.

Golden Veil

Wanted to post this, as a follow-up of the Dark Veil, however, I haven't investigated the Golden Veil that much yet.

I guess that people could be born between the two veils, but sometimes cross the dark veil and become lost. If that's the case, then it would be quite difficult for them to even consider anything on the other side of the veil, including the golden veil. One would first need to penetrate the dark veil, and then gradually shift their consciousness towards the golden veil.

I've gotten the impression that the closer one gets to the golden veil, the more pleasure and happiness they would feel. They would start seeing more and more of the golden light that permeates everything and shines through matter. Material objects would seem like merely temporary facades, as if made of cardboard that has been manifested by the mind, and is empty of actual presence. Space itself would start to seem dimensionless, with large and small objects being no different.

Based on the former observations (which happen to be somewhat scattered across this blog), I would conclude that the golden veil / mist is related to manifesting matter or forming space (or space-time). Perhaps matter is simply interwoven vorticular patterns of the golden and dark mists?

As opposed to the dark mist, maybe the golden mist likes to stick together, pulling on anything that has had contact with it. At least when moving away from it, there seems to always be this longing that pulls back towards it even from beyond the dark veil.

Both veils can be seen with the mind's eye, maybe they're also directly visible, don't know. Similarly to how people who have penetrated the dark veil have difficulties living this life in this world, I got the impression that people who have penetrated the golden veil would have difficulties living in this world. Which is why I held my horses before deciding to penetrate the veil. It seems very easy to become attracted to either of these veils.

TwOBE

Was tired. Failed to extract cat from the room. Closed the door and went to bed anyway. Somewhere through sleep I remember sister opening the door and letting the cat out.

I guess I had caught some cold. Stomach was at dis-ease, due to which I woke up at around 3 AM again (same thing happened yesterday). Focused on the central channel, which got psi flowing again so that food would digest and I could resume sleep. Felt better.

Felt lighter. Semi-subconsciously produced a squeak-like sound and lifted off the bed by perhaps 50 cm. Slowly descended back to bed, shifting slightly away from the pillow .. afraid to hit the back of my head against the plank at the head of the bed. Very smooth but I suspect that the body plunged into deep sleep right after comforting the stomach, so that I basically just levitated out of the body. This also explains the squeaky sound - ejecting from the body often tends to produce an astral (non-physical) sound. Moreover, I didn't notice a blanket while levitating - so, I must've gone through the blanket which should be far easier without a body. Interestingly enough, the realm seemed identical to reality, which had not happened that often during my OBEs. Was so happy for a moment .. well, sigh.

Another very specific sound - like breathing in through a half-shut throat. Woke out of body. Stood up, looked around the room and touched things. Similar to but not quite my room. Like a messy pull request between my old bedroom and the storage room that is there at the moment. Anyway, stepped over things on the floor and looked around for a mirror. Sister had removed all of them. Well, raised my hands and looked closely at my palms, then. Very realistic, and persistent as well. Shifted my palms relative to each-other, until I found that the vein patterns formed a shape that should be easier to remember and verify against the physical body. Returned to body for shallow dreams.

Took a shower at work and checked the veins on my palms. The veins are not as clearly visible as they were in that dream / OBE. But it's pretty clear that the vein patterns did not match. In the physical body, the vein patterns make a bit more sense. Haven't really looked at the palms from such a perspective.

OBE self-healing attempt

Dream: Quarantine

Somewhere in Russia, a village was suddenly quarantined. There had been a base nearby, so the place had a lot of fences and cameras. Some of the people still in the village were getting desperate due to having been cut off for a long time. Found that the soil and groundwater had been polluted with radioactive waste.

Dream: Short chat with grandpa

Friday marked a week since the funeral. Like clockwork, grandpa showed up in a dream that morning. I was minding someone's business in the summerhouse living room when grandpa poofed in. We had a chat on subjects that I forgot on wake-up. He left as suddenly as he appeared. I think he took something, held it and poofed away so that the object fell to the floor. Probably spun before hitting the ground to make it even more cool. Grandpa was roughly the same age as his photo at the funeral. All in all, he was happy and energetic.

Dad's visit

Dad visited to check the progress with his old laptop and show MacBook Pro. The graphics artist, structural engineer, electronics engineer and audiophile in me approved it. The touch bar is awesome, though, somehow very familiar from somewhere (immediately associated with dad). The structure is solid though pretty heavy, very good thermal design, amazingly clear sound for such small openings, very good display. Although the keyboard is good as well, it's not meant for programming, though.

Err .. got sidetracked. Asked if he also saw grandpa on Friday. He said grandpa is inside him. Makes sense.

He also mentioned an interesting observation about his brother's reincarnation. Just a year old and with the motorics of an adult. Very fast and very accurate movements. Perhaps reincarnating fast comes with a few perks.

We discussed some of the concepts and ideas from my dreams and stuff. He talked about his OBE 20+ years ago again. Although I had heard the story many times, this time I saw it differently. Back then he had somehow gotten the following task:

• Astral travel to work, go to 2nd floor, enter a room with some kind of balloons or something and make a mess. The balloons had to be tipped over so that they would explode when nobody is in the room.

He had tried many times but due to his preconceptions he could not learn psychokinesis (and failed to tip the balloons) in time. A girl lost her eyes and one of her arms.

Not the brightest memory for starting out in OBE and PK.

OBE: Healing

Meditated, then took a nap. Got vibrations from the head downwards. Pulled out head-first, sat on the edge of the bed and started touching different surfaces to maintain lucidity. Touched the floor, then the cupboard from bottom up. By the time I reached the edge of the mirror, I was also seeing around in first person. Never opened my eyes, though .. it was as if the eye lids gradually became transparent. Looked around, then glanced into the mirror. Actually saw my own image there, as if I had a real body. Looked like I was wearing something gray that was different from anything in the wardrobe. Anyway, I also looked outside and noticed that the sun was shining through the clouds a bit brighter than how I previously saw it with the body. All objects in the room were in the place they were supposed to be. Turned towards the body, slightly afraid of popping right back. The body was not clear. It looked like a dark foggy something. Black aura. Started cleaning it, but popped back soon.

Tulpas => Bugs

Dream: Bugs

Rose from bed to look at a bug crawling around on the floor. Started seeing more and more bugs of various kind. All of them carried some kind of an emotion or picture with them, which I think indicated that they're physical manifestations of thoughtforms. Specific kinds of thoughtforms. For example, there were ants that seemed to have had a piece of my mind, acting out some thoughts that I've had. Similar to how some Amazonas tribes started ceremonies where they built mock-up planes imitating the arrival of Gods. The simpler astral entities (in this case, bugs) were imitating my thoughts that I had carelessly just left somewhere.

Oh, woke up for real and an hour later a fruit fly wanted to play, and then landed on the spot where I first saw a bug in the dream.

Random thought: ancient UI

Yesterday evening it occurred to me that I was thinking of user interfaces from a functional art perspective. Perhaps back in the ancient times, user interfaces were art that was functional? For example, a bowerbird (likes to collect blue things) for a data logging application. Its eyes could indicate that it's connected to hardware, its feathers (or their shine) or some kind of blue dots could indicate data acquisition. Hovering mouse over its eye might cause a transparent popup with status and info of the device connected. Clicking on the eye could disconnect the device. Stroking a new line on the feathers might create another data path (new measurement channel or whatnot). And so on, so on.

Random thought: Cyclic time

It was also yesterday evening that I happened to entertain the idea of cyclic time. What if there was no past and future but just an infinite cycle? For example, what if Atlantis not only was but will be (again). Or perhaps the ancient artifacts are remnants of the future?

Pretty absurd, but I think that was one of the ideas referenced in Star Wreck.

In any case, this would put an interesting twist on the concepts of karmic cycles and reincarnation.

Funeral

Several wondrous synchronicities, manifestations. Got lucky with ferries and their timing, especially because there was going to be a racing event on the island during the weekend. We had a workshop, and it later turned out that we only got the room because the lady at the reception had made a mistake.

In general, I remember noticing from within the dreams that the dreams are gradually falling apart. The light shines through the dreams quite bright, and there are less and less dreams of being entangled to something.

There was also a dream where I taught lucid dreaming to another dreamer. An inspiring sentence. Forgot what it was, though.

A cousin had trouble with forgetting things. His dad suggested him to practice mnemotechnics. Described a few methods to him.

Dream: Jing leaking into dream body

After purposefully leaking jing each week, managed to get the body cleansed enough. Skipped it for a couple of weeks. Suddenly had a dream where I was leaking it bad. Became sick and it was coming from everywhere. Barely made my way to the toilet to sit it through. It was dripping from all around the body like sweat. As the drops reached the floor, they vaporised and dissipated like smoke from an incense stick.

It would have been easy to turn it into a pleasurable dream. I didn't want it to, because it was a karmic trace that I had to just endure in order to overcome it.

Dream: Group of physics olympiad participants

It was rather dark (a night, after all), and I went through a narrow corridor. There were a handful of physics olympiad finalists in the corridor, for whatever reason. Passed them.

Dream: Puddle

A very bright and beautiful scene. I'm walking across a swamp-like landscape with a lot of stuff (cameras, laptops, etc.). Tried to hop over the small puddle but the puddle became a pond and ::plop:: I dropped in the water with all of my stuff. Stepped out of the pond and looked at my feet. Everything normal, except that in the water some kind of a life form had gotten stuck to my left leg. It was curled up like a spiral shell. As I tried to remove it, it spread its tentacles out of the leg and did not want to come out. Tried extracting it 3 times and then aborted the dream.

Dream: Late

Second day with a wake-up alarm at around 5 or 6 AM. Before the alarm though, I had a bright and beautiful dream of a sunrise where I checked the time. It was 11, next time I checked, it was 12 AM. With about 5 hours of driving, there would've been no way I would've made it to the workshop anymore. So, I was no longer too stressed about it.

Dream: Direct virtual reality

Dark (night). A friend had subconsciously painted a picture of how they imagined the future of virtual reality. Looked at it and used the chance to figure out a few good ideas for products. Products that would define the future of virtual reality when the technology has advanced far enough. Got a bunch of good ideas, none of which survived the wake-up transition.

This dream was triggered by the discussion that we had in the car the previous day. Discussion about the post-death existence and partial reincarnation of the next generations in the digital environment. Serial Experiments Lain irl, basically. Seems almost inevitable, tbh.

Discussions with skeptics

In the past few days, I've happened to chat on OBE, pk and related subjects with skeptical people. Last week books happened thanks to such a chat with someone.

This week, a chat started from books. During the chat, the two of us discussing things were about to cross the road a bit too late. I decided to stop on the island in the middle. He decided to run across the road. I wanted to chat, so I thought I would rather prefer that he stayed on the island. He had already gone past me and wasn't looking back. Then suddenly some crazy dude ran past him, yelling really loud and crossing the road under the red light. The friend (or colleague, or student .. or however he should be called) froze and stepped back onto the island so I could continue talking.

Since they were skeptical about everything not normal, I hope I managed to convey at least a few ideas that they could find useful in some way.

Selling the idea of meditation and concentration

Sister loves selling. So why shouldn't I enjoy it too?

I think I managed to sell meditation and concentration practice to a few cousins. Last time I tried it, they were just a few years old and it did not work out. Back then they could not sit down for more than a couple of seconds. This time was very different, though. Had a walk and a chat with one of them, then soon there was one more listening in, then four, then six or seven following me.

Some observations from the funeral

Grandma, father, aunts and uncle were quite heartbroken. I liked that none of them were too pathetic about it, though. Just needed some patience and forgiveness to cope with them. A couple of questions about politics and conspiracies were enough to get father's and uncle's eyes gleaming again. Poured aunt over with books from home. Oh, a book for father as well. Grandma was happy that I had managed to reduce the blemish infestation on my face.

Almost half of the grave had been a multi-tonne granite rock, which they had dragged into the graveyard wall. The rest of the soil was clay-like soft rock (precursor to limestone). This was quite different from the soil just a couple of meters away (uncle's grave).

Again, during the preparations and priest farewell speech wind picked up a lot. Once lowered into the grave and everyone had poured their farewell sand into the grave, the weather became silent. The graveyard is so close to the sea that a silent weather is very rare. Clouds broke apart and clear sky came out.

The moment I stepped out of the church, there was an exceptionally strong gust of wind and I saw grandpa right in front of me for a split-second. Might have even walked through him.

Serious respect towards the family priest. He's really cool. Although he has exceptionally good improvisation skills, speaking about grandpa was difficult to him. He simply didn't know grandpa all that well personally. I realized how difficult a priest's job really is.

A cousin told his Mom he considers becoming a priest because he wants a hooded coat like that. ;-)

Shrine

Couldn't sleep properly on Thursday night. There had been 6+ hours of emotional lessons learned discussion. I wasted my breath a lot, whereas the dude sitting opposite to me meditated for most of the time and rarely spoke anything. During the discussion, mindfulness meditation was mentioned once. Though, to me it seemed rather out of place so I did not comment on it. Moreover, since an ex-colleague mentioned on having had meditative coding experience(s) and found mindfulness meditation to be unexpectedly easy, I decided to save it for inspiration. He's the one I recommended meditation for overcoming his health condition and I'm glad he's better.

Oh, and before the discussion I scanned some documents at home, and read some old Japan tourism booklets while the scanner was working.

OBE-ish dream

Anyway, that night I focused the consciousness cloud into the shape of my body. This started healing some areas previously scarce of attention. Then sister came home (around 2 AM), started moving stuff and cursing me. I think I fell asleep somewhere between 4 AM and 5 AM. Woke up confused about the orientation of the bed (rotated in respect to the body, I think). Checked the clock, but since it showed something like 7:69 or whatever (something illogical with a 7, don't remember exactly), I stood up and went to the living-room to check the time. Noticed that movement was very OBE-like (couldn't walk, had to float & fly). Dad was there, at the computer (pretty much only happens in dreams). Asked him what time it was, because it felt as if I was somewhere outside normal space-time. I think he looked at his watch and then ended up looking confused. "We're somewhere outside normal space-time, right?" It seemed as if he agreed.

Tried to remember what it was that I had on my list of things to do whenever I get an OBE. Aborted the operation with a 10 second timeout, roughly. Just "left the scene". Arrived at a place that looked like a Shinto Shrine. Saw my surroundings in 4D. At the same place there was the shrine, some kind of ruins, and an urban area with poor population. Climbed the ruins and looked towards the shrine tower (simultaneously a building). I was a bit surprised that the urban area was empty during the day. Well, empty with an exception. There was a lady on the 3rd floor (I think), cooking. To me it seemed that she had two kids who were not home. She saw me through the window / door and asked me to come and help her. She had the impression that I was lost, even though I was pretty sure that I wasn't .. I was just aimlessly wandering around, looking for whatever I might find interesting. Flew in and helped her with the cooking somehow (don't really remember the details). The food was somehow special and she offered it to me as well (couldn't try regular food anyway). Though, most importantly, she told me something about my history and asked my grandma to fill out the details for me.

Poofed to wherever grandma was. A large field of grass with some kind of a building, next to a gravel road. Did not recognize the place. Anyway, had a lengthy discussion about history (don't remember the details).

Meta

This seems to imply that I still am a part of the family lineage even though I don't feel like it. To me it seems like a boring lineage. While perhaps a bit more interesting than the average but still.

But then again, it just seems to imply that.

A very interesting dream / OBE in any case. One of a kind thus far.

Epilogue

Had had perhaps 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Contrary to my expectations, I did not wake tired.

Petrification

Happened to read about the Sansevero Chapel. Plenty of occult symbolism, statues that are impossible to sculpt and other bizarre stuff.

Started to wonder about the statues. Thanks to synchronicity, found a site (Google Translate from Russian) describing different methods of petrification (converting things into stone). Original link for native Russian readers. This also clears up a lot of confusion that I had regarding some granite megaliths in America with handprints in them.

Logical but just didn't occur to me in this context before. It's possible for one element to carry the essence of another and re-manifest it.

Today I realized that I've been using time to separate and categorize my experiences. Shouldn't do that. Shouldn't tie them to time.

Dreams

One of them: walked outside, through the apartment wall. It's snowing. "What the, snowing in late July? Pff .. Estonian Summer (TM)"

Another: woke up somewhere else. Knew I was somewhere else before opening the eyes. Couldn't remember where, though. Red rubber flooring, cheap bed, barely any furniture. Moved the blanket aside, stood up and went looking for the bathroom. Had travelled a lot with Mom and arrived late last night. An acquaintance of an acquaintance offered a place to stay for the night. The host came and greeted me. An indie .. they're very rare around here. Felt a bit embarrassed at first, as I didn't have any daily clothes on. He didn't even pay attention to such a minor detail. Anyway, some time later Mom also woke up and we left. Astral - no hassle with any doors, as all of them are open or there are no doors. Also, the sunlight and the buildings - everything was far brighter and more vibrant than in this realm. Yup, definitely astral. We were going downhill. ..::WeEEeeE::.. Hopped to the ground, tummy first, to bounce into the air and fly around. Note that I don't have a beer belly, but still .. seemed like a fun thing to do. Mom was a bit more grumpy.

Pijamaman to the rescue!

Proper sleep is so good.

Dreamt of a girl taming a spirit. Experienced it as a cloud of consciousness from both perspectives.

Woke up and went back to bed. Had a lucid dream. Realized it was a dream when I checked the time and found it highly nonlinear. Also, some people were a bit surprised to find me in pijamas (tho, I don't even use those). Started flying around, flying through walls and doors. Some unknown streets and buildings. I knew I had set a goal for whenever I had a lucid dream or OBE. Took me perhaps 10 seconds of standing mid-air and trying to remember what it was. Flying to space! Darted upwards, went higher and higher and .. well, higher. But there were a couple of issues:

• My levitation wasn't stable enough and I started wobbling. Noticed that I had subconsciously adopted the technique of a collision plane under my feet. An unstable technique, I know. By flying without crutches there would be no wobbling.
• I wasn't fast enough to gain enough altitude in a reasonable amount of time. I'm not really sure what limits the speed of flight in dreams. Sometimes it's just really slow and cannot be overridden, sometimes it can be and sometimes it's lightning-fast already.

Didn't get to space in that dream.

https://vimeo.com/141723508

The Onion

Happy New Year!

There's something that I didn't post from the previous year. Just before finishing Steve Richards' "Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane," I saw the seven layers of this body one by one. I was a bit too fascinated by the images though - didn't focus on most of them properly. Regardless, I realized the imbalance - quite a bit of strength in the low and the high layers but almost nothing on the middle layers.

Also realized that due to my preconceptions, I had previously mistaken the lowest layer for something else (something inherently pure or clean). I saw a black slimy humanoid crawling. The lowest layer is all dirty, fleshy and with very basic instincts. It grows from earth and it will become earth again. I've ignored a lot of that - because I've been certain that's not who I am. Both true as well as false - having acquired a body, it's my responsibility to take care of all its layers, to feel all its layers, to become one with them. It's as if human souls were injected into a realm several layers below their natural habitat, to inhabit bodies that belong there. This makes it possible for the souls to become acquainted with, and to acquire the sensation of the lower realms which would otherwise be too far off.

Thank you @ the authors of the caving story, Steve Richards and X-Files for this realization.

I'm pretty sure the 7 layers are a rather coarse interpretation but having just a few of them makes it possible to envision, categorize and analyze them with the rational mind.

For reference

Steve Richard's "The Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane", pages 69-70.

In Swedenborg's visions the 'realms' were arranged hierarchically,
with the Heavens above, the Hells below, and the 'World of Spirits' -
which would correspond to the astral plane - in the middle. He says that in the World of Spirits' there are hells under every mountain, hill, and rock, and under every plain and valley. The entire heaven and World of Spirits are, as it were, excavated beneath, and under them is a continuous hell'[11] 'The Hells are not seen', he says, 'because they are closed up. Only the entrances, which are called gates, are seen when they are opened to let in other spirits.' [12] Even' the gates and doors of the hells are visible only to those who are about to enter. '[13] Those gates which are beneath 'the mountains, hills, and rocks', he says, 'appear like holes and clefts in the rocks, some extended and wide, some straightened and narrow, and many of them rugged.'[14] As for those gates to be found beneath plains and valleys, 'some resemble those that are beneath the mountains, hills, and rocks; some resemble dens and caverns, some great chasms and whirlpools; some resemble bogs, and some standing water. '[15] At each gate' a monster commonly appears that represents in a general way the forms of those within'[16] 'When they are opened there bursts forth from them either something like the fire and smoke that is seen in the air from burning buildings, or like a flame without smoke, or like soot such as comes from a burning chimney, or like a mist and thick
cloud. ' [17] He says that' a dense fire' comes from the gates of hells' where the love of self prevails', and' a flaming fire' from the gates of hells 'where the love of the world prevails .. . . When the hells are closed this fiery appearance is not seen, but in its place there is a kind of obscurity like a condensation of smoke, although the fire still rages within ' The hell-dwellers, though, are' conscious of no burning' since' the fire is only an appearance'. They feel ' only warmth, like that which they had felt when in the world' since they' are as in their own atmosphere. '[18] All the hells, 'when looked into, appear dark and dusky.'[19] 'When they are opened gloomy and seemingly sooty caverns and dens in rocks [are seen] extending inward and then downward, either obliquely or vertically, into an abyss, where there are many doors. '[20] Some of these looked like ' dens and caves of wild beasts in forests', whereas others resembled 'the hollow caverns and passages that are seen in mines, with caverns extending towards the lower regions.' Now from' these caverns nauseous and fetid stenches exhale' which he compares with ' the odour from dung and excrement in the world .... In the worst hells [it is] like the odour of dead bodies. '[21] He says that ' evil spirits seek for [these smells] because they delight in them. For as every one in the world has been delighted with his own evil so after death he is delighted with the
stench to which his evil corresponds. '[22]

[11] Emmanuel Swedenborg, Heaven And Its Wonders, And Hell. translated by J.C. Ager. New York: The American Swedenborg Printing and Publishing Company. 1925. p.385.
[12] Ibid. p.380.
[13] Ibid, p.263.
[14] Ibid, p.380.
[15] Ibid. p.381.
[16] Ibid, p.359.
[17] Ibid. p.381.
[18] Ibid. pp.372. 381.
[19] Ibid. p.380.
[20] Ibid. pp.263, 382.
[21] Ibid. pp.263. 75.
[22] Ibid. p.263.

---

This fits rather well with the caving story. Perhaps it indicates that a lot of astral realms are multi-layered and partially span the material world as well. Poor cavers breaking down into their own hell.

This story further demonstrates the grotesque nature of the caving story:
[30] Eliphas Levi, "La Clef des Grands Mysteres". Paris: Diffusion Scientifique, updated, pp.110-111.

Afraid of responsibilities?

Read Steve Richard's "The Traveller's Guide to the Astral Plane" on the bus again yesterday. The section about astral sex, the alignment of bodies on all the numerous planes, as well as the formation of a vortex that pulls in souls from the planes. This answered a lot of questions I didn't know I had .. and made me reinterpret a lot of dreams.

Practised memory recall before falling asleep yesterday. Random numbers, quotes from radio, etc.

Attended the birthday party of an old classmate in dreams. A very nice and bright dream, I might add. Back in school, I didn't think much of him, I didn't like him and he didn't like me. We've only bumped into each-other twice since then. Very random of me to dream of him. Checked and he does not have a birthday today. His birthday is 10 days before mine.

A faint glimpse at the golden fog (I think), at noon. In the evening I re-realized the power of balanced focus. On the way home, I focused on the lights of cars passing by, for perhaps a minute. This brought a moment of clarity.


Found some scenes of "X-Files S01E12 - Fire" a pretty good inspiration for pyrokinesis practice. Unfortunately, Cecil failed to use it for meritorious purposes. Found it interesting how Mulder was pushed to face his greatest fear and how he handled it.

S01E13 brought tears, though. Maybe that's the episode that first got me into thinking empathy was the best punishment against crime. The episode was about a mass murderer, who had turned psychic. He was constantly being tortured by the stares of all his victims from beyond their graves. He became terrified of having to face all of them on death. But that was not enough, he was still treated as a mass murderer and sentenced to death.

I guess my biggest fear at this point is being assigned responsibilities that I'm unable to fulfil. One of the cycles again, as this fear makes it difficult to fulfil responsibilities.

Old lady with a functional body

Some of the last dreams today morning..

I was minding my own business, packing stuff to go back (about time for the morning alarm). Suddenly I sense someone behind me, just over my right shoulder. I look there and I see nothing. Knowing there must be someone there because I feel them, I adjusted my awareness. Sure enough, an old lady became visible. So, I listened to what she had to say. Couldn't really remember all of that, and it didn't actually make too much sense, either. She was worried about all sorts of people. At some point she left .. and then showed up at the doorway just a minute later. She was worried again. Told her: "Instead of constantly worrying about the bodies of others, return to check the status of your own body." In a minute, she was back again, crying from both sadness and relief. I didn't get why she still came back, but she said she hadn't returned for a long time and that the body was still more-or-less habitable (ears and eyes had degraded a lot, though). She seemed happy.

That was quite unlike any other dreams that I've had.

Still tired.