A few 16-hour workdays and slept a night at work again. Had lunch the next afternoon. Ate pastries and cookies and drank smoothie. Happened to glance at the smoothie package and couldn't help but burst out laughing. Childish drawings and some text about a lazy banana who (what) makes sure that people rest and don't work overtime.
At that moment it re-occurred to me that I expect people to feel compassion for me for working overtime. Since this is bulls, I realized that in general whenever someone expects others to do something, it means they aren't doing it themselves (or at least not doing it well enough). In other words, I'm the one who should feel compassion for myself, not anyone else. By depriving oneself of something, one may fail to notice that they're subconsciously looking for other ways to acquire it.
Stress-psychology aside.
One night in the optics lab a colleague described having a strange experience just a moment before. As he was looking at a specific spot, the whole image he saw just shifted. This used to happen to me quite often when I practised psychokinesis and meditation a lot more. I used to think of it as a shift of consciousness.
Not really related but watched "Arrival" on the bus yesterday and it was awesome! On par with Interstellar in terms of a good message that was also played out very well. Very interesting concepts that got me thinking about how time works again. Also read a couple of paranormal cases from a new magazine that appeared on the shelves at the stores. Spaceships that disappeared and re-appeared later; airplanes that went back in time and then reappeared in the present; some guy who went missing in his backyard, reappeared and then re-disappeared. Actually, I gave the article to my sister to read and she recognized some of what the man had described. A woman in the darkness, telling about how it's difficult to get back to a specific point in time. She suspects it was the same woman who urged her to take her chance of rebirth. It seems as if there were windows of time when portals could be created to specific places in space-time. Perhaps a complex system of stellar and planetary alignments (aka astrology) that bend the space-time through gravity in such a way that makes it difficult to orient and easy to miss the opportunity to find one's way back.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Haunted villa
Dreamfall Chapters was amazing. Very inspiring.
More-or-less regular dreams until I checked on sister. She had just painted the doors and window frames of a huge house. I joined the dream and started looking around the building. A villa of some sort, with large windows and a very high ceiling. It was degrading gradually, as some termites had found their way into the building. Walked from room to room until I got to the spacious living room (I think). It had a large terrace and the terrace doors were slightly open, with wind blowing in. I closed the doors because it seemed like it might start raining soon. A damp summer day with thick clouds, which typically means rain. The moment I did that, a cat appeared in the room. The cat went crazy, indicating that there was an entity in the room. While I did notice it, I purposefully did not pay much attention to it. Though, now it paid attention to me. The entity did not seem malicious but it wanted to swallow me / merge with me. My psi field was not very strong at that moment, so I just formed a bubble shield, turned around and made my way towards the exit. The bubble rippled as the entity tried to force its way through. I think the entity had control over the whole room, as I could not move fast .. it felt as if moving in water. Although the entity did not seem malicious and I remained calm, I noticed that I was breathing heavily. As I returned to the body, I heard it breathing heavily as well. Interesting. I hope that the entity did not follow, even though it would've been easy for it to do so (teleported straight back). Doesn't feel like it followed.
More-or-less regular dreams until I checked on sister. She had just painted the doors and window frames of a huge house. I joined the dream and started looking around the building. A villa of some sort, with large windows and a very high ceiling. It was degrading gradually, as some termites had found their way into the building. Walked from room to room until I got to the spacious living room (I think). It had a large terrace and the terrace doors were slightly open, with wind blowing in. I closed the doors because it seemed like it might start raining soon. A damp summer day with thick clouds, which typically means rain. The moment I did that, a cat appeared in the room. The cat went crazy, indicating that there was an entity in the room. While I did notice it, I purposefully did not pay much attention to it. Though, now it paid attention to me. The entity did not seem malicious but it wanted to swallow me / merge with me. My psi field was not very strong at that moment, so I just formed a bubble shield, turned around and made my way towards the exit. The bubble rippled as the entity tried to force its way through. I think the entity had control over the whole room, as I could not move fast .. it felt as if moving in water. Although the entity did not seem malicious and I remained calm, I noticed that I was breathing heavily. As I returned to the body, I heard it breathing heavily as well. Interesting. I hope that the entity did not follow, even though it would've been easy for it to do so (teleported straight back). Doesn't feel like it followed.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
Challenge accepted
Very challenging deadlines with barely any team left. I've whined enough about it, but it's not that I don't actually enjoy being in very challenging situations. Decided to shift my priorities and focus on finishing the project. There must be a way to still finish it in time. I guess the only way to get it done and survive the pressure is to tie it all to spiritual development. So far the pressure has pressed hard against the health and motivation of the whole team. Since the deadlines seem humanly impossible, the only way to finish the project is by overcoming all personal issues, opening all psi channels and becoming a superhuman. The strength of intent and willpower has worked wonders already.
On Friday-Saturday I "enjoyed" long days of lab tests and spent a night sleeping on the office floor. Yesterday I enjoyed the good old familiar feeling of infinite stamina and lightstepping. Though, so far sleep deprivation has still resulted in tiredness. I want to overcome tiredness as well. Would get the time for software development and documentation as well, in addition to all the lab tests that need doing.
I've reserved an hour or so each evening for Dreamfall Chapters as well. One of the most awesome games I've played so far. Very powerful scenes.
On Friday-Saturday I "enjoyed" long days of lab tests and spent a night sleeping on the office floor. Yesterday I enjoyed the good old familiar feeling of infinite stamina and lightstepping. Though, so far sleep deprivation has still resulted in tiredness. I want to overcome tiredness as well. Would get the time for software development and documentation as well, in addition to all the lab tests that need doing.
I've reserved an hour or so each evening for Dreamfall Chapters as well. One of the most awesome games I've played so far. Very powerful scenes.
Friday, March 10, 2017
Why god right-handed?
No I'm not religious. At least not that religious. Anyway, recently there has been a lot of synchronicity which seems to be saying "learn electromagnetics!" At the teaching seminar a couple of days ago, the professor showed a clip of the physics introductory course at Harvard. An experiment on magnetic forces, which was designed to demonstrate the right-hand rule.
I've studied electromagnetics years ago and I know that the right-hand rule applies there because it's a vector product between the current vector and magnetic field vector. However, for me Lorentz force law lacks the foundation. I mean, why is it in nature that it follows the right-hand rule instead of a left-hand rule? What if one could mirror the effect with metamaterials. How would that work? What would be the applications?
An hour or two later, a friend posts a Cody's Lab video on building a boost converter with water (very good analogy between electromagnetics and water).
Watched some X-files again in the evening: S06E02 Drive, S06E03 Triangle. Started to wonder about the fabric of vacuum and the propagation of light. The following Dreamland episodes were also somewhat related.
Also stumbled upon a clip of the filament-based structure of the universe, and wondered how it might relate to Blavatsky's Secret Doctrine. Or how the right-hand rule might relate to what Steve Richards described in his book on invisibility (rotation in one direction materializes, rotation in the other direction dematerializes).
Hasn't clicked yet.
An interesting dream last night. I'm at a foreign town which I once hiked through in another dream, during the winter. It's a small town with an exceptional medieval town centre. Took my backpack, packed it full of my stuff to make it as heavy as possible (had hoped for more but only got +10 kg). Fastened it properly and went running with it. Leaped down into a dry moat. Spotted two entrances to an old coal mine. Left these behind and continued towards a tower museum that had been finished just recently. There was a family with two kids entering the building as well .. ran past them. Ran up the ramps to the top of the tower and leaped to catch a rope that was hanging from the roof. The ceiling unfolded and I saw something beyond what my mind could comprehend. It looked almost like the tentacles of a jellyfish sticking down from the ceiling, except that these were not tentacles, they had branches and looked tree-like. But they were not tree branches, either because they were semi-transparent and had constant thickness. Moreover, there were red / pink balls of light attached to the "tentabranchicles or whatevers". It was artificial .. a museum / arts exhibition, after all. As I hung on the rope, my weight expanded the work of wonder. I then saw an image or an animation of something propagating down from between the tentacles by bouncing off the branches. When I let go of the rope, it contracted back to its original compact form in the ceiling. Met some other person on the street. She said she was sorry I had picked the tower instead of a clay workshop (I think it was) just across the street. Although I wasn't sure about the preference of the family that I had run past, I was pretty sure I had picked the most interesting place to visit (for myself, at least). Not sure if or how this relates to my synchronicities but interesting nevertheless.
What about now? Still hasn't clicked =/.
I've studied electromagnetics years ago and I know that the right-hand rule applies there because it's a vector product between the current vector and magnetic field vector. However, for me Lorentz force law lacks the foundation. I mean, why is it in nature that it follows the right-hand rule instead of a left-hand rule? What if one could mirror the effect with metamaterials. How would that work? What would be the applications?
An hour or two later, a friend posts a Cody's Lab video on building a boost converter with water (very good analogy between electromagnetics and water).
Watched some X-files again in the evening: S06E02 Drive, S06E03 Triangle. Started to wonder about the fabric of vacuum and the propagation of light. The following Dreamland episodes were also somewhat related.
Also stumbled upon a clip of the filament-based structure of the universe, and wondered how it might relate to Blavatsky's Secret Doctrine. Or how the right-hand rule might relate to what Steve Richards described in his book on invisibility (rotation in one direction materializes, rotation in the other direction dematerializes).
Hasn't clicked yet.
An interesting dream last night. I'm at a foreign town which I once hiked through in another dream, during the winter. It's a small town with an exceptional medieval town centre. Took my backpack, packed it full of my stuff to make it as heavy as possible (had hoped for more but only got +10 kg). Fastened it properly and went running with it. Leaped down into a dry moat. Spotted two entrances to an old coal mine. Left these behind and continued towards a tower museum that had been finished just recently. There was a family with two kids entering the building as well .. ran past them. Ran up the ramps to the top of the tower and leaped to catch a rope that was hanging from the roof. The ceiling unfolded and I saw something beyond what my mind could comprehend. It looked almost like the tentacles of a jellyfish sticking down from the ceiling, except that these were not tentacles, they had branches and looked tree-like. But they were not tree branches, either because they were semi-transparent and had constant thickness. Moreover, there were red / pink balls of light attached to the "tentabranchicles or whatevers". It was artificial .. a museum / arts exhibition, after all. As I hung on the rope, my weight expanded the work of wonder. I then saw an image or an animation of something propagating down from between the tentacles by bouncing off the branches. When I let go of the rope, it contracted back to its original compact form in the ceiling. Met some other person on the street. She said she was sorry I had picked the tower instead of a clay workshop (I think it was) just across the street. Although I wasn't sure about the preference of the family that I had run past, I was pretty sure I had picked the most interesting place to visit (for myself, at least). Not sure if or how this relates to my synchronicities but interesting nevertheless.
What about now? Still hasn't clicked =/.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Sunset
Picked up focusing on the top of the head at night again. A couple of nights with interesting dreams.
Found myself flying through an alley of trees. Stopped and figured that there's something which I had not tried yet. Laid down on the road, facing towards the sky. Tried to walk up into the sky .. interesting idea for a lucid dream but it didn't work. I wasn't moving, and the dream faded.
Woke into an intermediate state where I was aware of being in bed without body awareness. An image appeared before me: young moon and stars through a thin layer of cloudcover. Tried to focus on the image for trataka practice, but the image faded each time I tried to focus on it. After about 3 attempts, the image disappeared.
Found myself at the sea somewhere, at sunset. There was a building there, not sure if it was a lighthouse (again) or not. Enjoyed the scenery but wanted to take a photo of the building on the sunset background. Realized I had left my camera at home. Went to fetch it but when I came back, the situation had changed. The sun had set, and there was a group of foreign tourists at the site.
Typical.
Last night I worked on reorganizing some unknown electronics in a fuse box, in some random cellar. Some other people tried to reorganize it but no matter what they tried, it looked like a mess to me. I knew that the electronics symbolized my own thought patterns.
Background info - I've been working on a course that I'm giving. In parallel, I'm taking a course about teaching. For the course, I prepared learner's autobiography which helped me realize the significance of my learning experiences so far. Found it amazing how many different learning and teaching methods I had experienced. But more importantly, it has somehow happened that I've received the best teachings without realizing it myself.
Found myself flying through an alley of trees. Stopped and figured that there's something which I had not tried yet. Laid down on the road, facing towards the sky. Tried to walk up into the sky .. interesting idea for a lucid dream but it didn't work. I wasn't moving, and the dream faded.
Woke into an intermediate state where I was aware of being in bed without body awareness. An image appeared before me: young moon and stars through a thin layer of cloudcover. Tried to focus on the image for trataka practice, but the image faded each time I tried to focus on it. After about 3 attempts, the image disappeared.
Found myself at the sea somewhere, at sunset. There was a building there, not sure if it was a lighthouse (again) or not. Enjoyed the scenery but wanted to take a photo of the building on the sunset background. Realized I had left my camera at home. Went to fetch it but when I came back, the situation had changed. The sun had set, and there was a group of foreign tourists at the site.
Typical.
Last night I worked on reorganizing some unknown electronics in a fuse box, in some random cellar. Some other people tried to reorganize it but no matter what they tried, it looked like a mess to me. I knew that the electronics symbolized my own thought patterns.
Background info - I've been working on a course that I'm giving. In parallel, I'm taking a course about teaching. For the course, I prepared learner's autobiography which helped me realize the significance of my learning experiences so far. Found it amazing how many different learning and teaching methods I had experienced. But more importantly, it has somehow happened that I've received the best teachings without realizing it myself.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
Electrostatic batteries
Addendum to the previous post.
For example, producing electret batteries and testing them properly (shock, vibration, thermo-vacuum, radiation). Would be neat to have teflon-based electrets (low outgassing - also suitable for space applications), but teflon has a high melting point and apparently its fumes are a health hazard. Could also try plexiglass, grinded plastic (ref). For vacuum, it could perhaps be encapsulated in epoxy.
I wonder if a Van de Graaff generator could be used to maintain the electric field while the dielectric cools and solidifies again.
Found hints of experiments with thermal electret batteries in low voltage high current applications, too:
Interesting stuff. In any case, this is just one example of potential directions to work on.
For example, producing electret batteries and testing them properly (shock, vibration, thermo-vacuum, radiation). Would be neat to have teflon-based electrets (low outgassing - also suitable for space applications), but teflon has a high melting point and apparently its fumes are a health hazard. Could also try plexiglass, grinded plastic (ref). For vacuum, it could perhaps be encapsulated in epoxy.
I wonder if a Van de Graaff generator could be used to maintain the electric field while the dielectric cools and solidifies again.
Found hints of experiments with thermal electret batteries in low voltage high current applications, too:
Interesting stuff. In any case, this is just one example of potential directions to work on.
Rant on stagnant society
Long time no post. A couple of weeks ago I had the longest lucid dream thus far. Flew around a lot. Not sure if it was the dream or something else, but I felt inspired the next day. Life had acquired a meaning again.
I've noticed that the enthusiasm about science / technology, spiritualism and paranormal has faded considerably. Haven't been content with myself - I don't feel I've achieved anything remarkable (arguable but that's how I feel) and I don't feel capable of achieving anything remarkable, either (at least while adhering to the limitations of the society). In this society, one must always do something novel or unprecedented in order to be accepted. With the science and technology that is accepted by the mainstream, more-or-less everything novel has already been done or would be done soon. One possibility would be to rush and try to achieve things before others (not right, as it means producing crap and trying to sell it to dumb customers). Another possibility would be to focus on a specific direction and develop a high level of expertise (dead-end in adaptivity). I would be excited to work on science / technology that is on the horizon or slightly beyond. Society considers anything beyond the mainstream dubious. Private sector is more-or-less only interested in stuff that can be marketed right away. Public sector is typically even more conservative - can only use tech that has been proven to work. Since birth I've been convinced that in order to get anywhere, I need to put forth a lot of effort. It's somewhat annoying if the society is both expecting people to do a lot of work, while repressing that at the same time.
With the chaos that Trump brings about, this might just change. Enough of this rant, though. Should detach and focus on spiritualism, instead. This way I could do whatever mediocre things need to be done in the society while gaining personal benefit (spiritualism is sort of selfish, as it makes practitioner's own life easier). Also, it still seems that spiritualism is rather difficult without the practice of psychokinesis, OBE or similar. Otherwise maintaining the inspiration and enthusiasm seems to be very hard.
Need to integrate regular meditation into my schedule somehow.
I've noticed that the enthusiasm about science / technology, spiritualism and paranormal has faded considerably. Haven't been content with myself - I don't feel I've achieved anything remarkable (arguable but that's how I feel) and I don't feel capable of achieving anything remarkable, either (at least while adhering to the limitations of the society). In this society, one must always do something novel or unprecedented in order to be accepted. With the science and technology that is accepted by the mainstream, more-or-less everything novel has already been done or would be done soon. One possibility would be to rush and try to achieve things before others (not right, as it means producing crap and trying to sell it to dumb customers). Another possibility would be to focus on a specific direction and develop a high level of expertise (dead-end in adaptivity). I would be excited to work on science / technology that is on the horizon or slightly beyond. Society considers anything beyond the mainstream dubious. Private sector is more-or-less only interested in stuff that can be marketed right away. Public sector is typically even more conservative - can only use tech that has been proven to work. Since birth I've been convinced that in order to get anywhere, I need to put forth a lot of effort. It's somewhat annoying if the society is both expecting people to do a lot of work, while repressing that at the same time.
With the chaos that Trump brings about, this might just change. Enough of this rant, though. Should detach and focus on spiritualism, instead. This way I could do whatever mediocre things need to be done in the society while gaining personal benefit (spiritualism is sort of selfish, as it makes practitioner's own life easier). Also, it still seems that spiritualism is rather difficult without the practice of psychokinesis, OBE or similar. Otherwise maintaining the inspiration and enthusiasm seems to be very hard.
Need to integrate regular meditation into my schedule somehow.
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