Rush

Today has been a stressful day. For some reason, there was a rush on everything. Now that I think about it, it seems that I kind of hate rushing.

Rushed with going to sleep last night. Had planned for going to the observatory for running some tests on the engineering model. Rushed with waking up, because today I wanted to eat breakfast also. Rushed with the breakfast, because there was barely any time left for me to walk to the school building (to make it in time for the van). Rushed with walking. At observatory, I rushed with debugging some issues in the firmware .. because I didn't want to delay the tests. Rushed with planning the test and getting acquainted with the testing equipment. Still didn't make it before the lunch. Realized I had almost forgotten to operate the satellite on a high elevation pass. After that, I rushed to lunch (an hour late but still got to eat everything I would've wished for). Rushed with eating, to make it back for preparations for the testing.

Wanted to take the time on the testing (waited for the temperature chamber to stabilize). Half-way into the tests, I realized I had forgotten a lecture (it started at the same moment that I noticed what time it was .. though, like some 20 km away from school). Waved the lecture goodbye and continued with the tests.

Had to rush at the end of testing again, because the van was about to depart. A matter of minutes to finish the tests, clean everything up, pack and rush to the van. Rushed in processing the test results while on the road. Managed to do that before we arrived back in town. Realized I still had barely enough time to rush home for the next high-elevation pass. At home, I rushed to get the processed test results up to the wiki. A few minutes till the next satellite pass. Rushed something to eat while preparing for the operations.

Although the adrenalin keeps me awake, it causes a hold of cold in the heart chakra area. It's squishing the life force out of the chest. Very unhealthy. Found 20 minutes to lay down in the bed, which I used to observe this nervousness from afar. This helped to reduce it a little.

With or without the body

Somewhere between the dreams, there was a bilocation experience. Sensed myself being transferred to grandma's house. Heard the sounds there and stuff already, could almost see myself in their living room. Still, teleportation sort of has me frightened - what if it really happened.. I might end up in some weird parallel universe at some strange timeline, unable to find my way back. This fear was also there this time. At first I let the experience unfold, then at some moment I tried to remember what this apartment looked like. Opened the eyes while the consciousness was still spread between the two places and found myself back at the apartment.

Now that I think back on it, the target location is different. There's no bed in that corner of the living room. There used to be. Now there's a home-built plane simulator. Thus, I would've popped into some alternate reality. However, this teleportation might've left the body at the apartment. Though, it's a bit difficult for me to tell the difference when something works on the astral or on the real body. The difference in the sensations seems very subtle.

Planescape

Feeling good. A walk to lab made the day. It made me happy and it cleared the sky of clouds as well. This, in turn, made people around the town happy.

Kara no Kyoukai is pretty good. Also, Planescape Torment is really good (a lot of pk quotes).

A divided mind is an unfocused mind. A divided mind fractures walls and weakens stone. Many divided minds may destroy a city.

When a mind does not know itself, it is flawed. When a mind is flawed, the man is flawed. When a man is flawed, that which he touches is flawed. It is said that what a flawed man sees, his hands make broken.

The city [Sigil] exists in opposition to itself. It has set itself apart from the planes, yet it seeks to be everywhere at once. Its walls are doors, yet it keeps these doors locked. Such an existence tells of a thing that does not know itself. In not knowing itself, it is flawed.

~Dak'kon

A few days ago, I had a dream where I went outside. Sought a nice spot under some young birch trees. Slept the night there. This made me feel nice and fresh by the morning. Though, caught a slight cold.

Next night I had a dream, where I walked through a field of green grass and beautiful flowers.

Spontaneous moments of meditation. Recently I've found it easier to observe emotions and feelings. Several of these experiences have been from foreign viewpoints.

Queer dreams

Some weird dreams, perhaps slightly related to watching a movie from the Kara No Kyoukai series.

There was an old building, where children were playing. The building was close to falling apart. From my perspective, these children were in danger. However, I was also climbing around in there and I did not sense any danger to me.

Left the building and stepped into a wooden building, where I saw my aunt and grandma. Grandma looked very worried, even stressed out. Her eyes were red from crying a lot and not getting enough sleep. Held her hand.

In that dream, it seemed as if there were another death in our family. When uncle left, I didn't feel sad. However, in this dream I suddenly felt so sad that I cried with grandma.

A couple of nights ago, I also saw a strange dream. There was a group of people in some sort of a container orbiting something in space. They were in a lot of trouble, disappointed and depressed. In the darkness, we started cranking the electronics open, looking for something we could use to save ourselves. Not sure I had a body there and if I did, it interacted different from the bodies of others. There was a metal enclosure with something attached to the lid so that the men couldn't get it open. I stretched my hand inside and simply pulled the lid loose and giving them what they had been looking for. They thanked me, after which we walked out of the dream bubble, to the front yard of my summerhouse.

Actually, I think that dream was a training of some sort. After we had finished the training, we had to choose roles for the next training session. The two men were itching to be some sort of leaders, quarreling about. One of the men considered me a close friend and asked me if I also wanted to become the leader. I said I didn't care what role to play. Dream ended.

Dry leaf knocking at the door

Altered the weather yesterday again. Fancied some more sunlight for change. Some time later, sun came out for some minutes. This was enough to cheer me. Later sister mentioned there was sunlight for a moment. Said the sun might come out again, although soon it would probably be sunset already. On my way to a meeting, focused on sunlight a little more. Sunshine for a few more minutes.
After the meeting and a lecture, the sky was clear. Thanks to this, today was a very pretty day with a lot of sunshine.

Yesterday's levitation practise caused the wind to pick up. Air humidity made it chilly.

Saw a dry leaf knock on a door to my left. Blew it back away from the door (180 degree turn), made a 90 degree turn on the edge of the road and then had wind blow it forward. Eventually walked past it. That was fun. :)

Yesterday I tried to look at myself from an external viewpoint. Saw a lot of sadness in there. Focused on that from an observer's point of view.

Who flipped the switch?

Tired.

Interesting how sometimes I'm seeing dreams and then all of a sudden the light switch is flipped and everything is pitch black blank .. no dreams, no thoughts, nothing. It's just the sound of a light switch and complete silence in the mind. Woke up to check if the light had been switched off somewhere, but this didn't seem to have been the case.

Geisted a few bundled plastic cups rolling on the table today. Might've also been a pen in another classroom.
Wind seemed to be responding rather well, too.

Inaudible sound

Meditated and noticed something I didn't quite expect. There was a part of me that was being affected by some sort of inaudible sound. Inaudible unless meditating on it. It was a buzzing sound with slight changes in phases and frequencies.

Rendered myself immune to the noise, while continuing its observation. Then traced the signal, after which, I guess I lost awareness.

Several hours later, an old friend appeared and started linking u-tube videos on mind control.