I was quite tired from having slept only for 6 hours again. Being bored before the first practical, I just stared at a small table in front of the bench I was sitting on. I saw the same effect - I was able to feel it move, but it actually didn't.
I started to think that maybe I have learned bio-feedback more than PK. Well, while practicing PK on an uncovered psiwheel, I could use the same "feel it move" kind of thing to control its direction - this makes it a bit suspicious (can bio-feedback affect reality? I doubt it.)
Today I recognized a character property of mine, that is probably inherited from one of my grandfathers - perfectionism. Whenever I fail to get something done in a perfect way, I throw it away and do it again. I have been under the illusion that I'm going to learn more when I start things from scratch.
That's wrong - this way I keep doing the same over and over again, never experiencing the perfect result (nothing can be perfect in this world). At first I thought the ability to cast anything aside and start anew was why Tibetian monks were building mandalas and throwing them into the river. I don't think that's the reason anymore and me enjoying the disposal of unfinished work is probably just masochistic. I need to use all of my previous experience and use it to the fullest in order to gain new as I can never get rid of my old experiences anyway.
I think this is one of the mindblocks I keep stumbling on.
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