Cookies in the oven

In general, I've been pretty happy today.

While walking home, I tried to keep focus on the light that permeates all. Noticed that I can't see the light in the distance, just near me. Remembered that was also the case a couple of years ago. So, perhaps this light does not originate from the outside at all? Looked at my hand and found it to be faintly glowing this light. Noticed the tendency to think of what the experience was like two years ago. Mind wandered a bit too close to this old tendency .. instant darkness, no self-confidence, no signs of progress. Tried to climb out again.. "No, I'll not become what I used to be. I'll go far beyond that."

Being hungry, I visited the department store, cooked something nice, sat at the laptop while chewing and bit my tongue 2 times. Wasn't happy about that.

If you're trying to change you, incorporate this change into every aspect of your life. This way there's less chance of the mind clinging to old habits and slipping back. Don't let it slip .. the previous you is not you anymore.

This change has propagated into the dreams and helped me there as well. Previously there used to be wet dreams; moments when I was not aware enough to maintain the cultivated energy. More recently, there have been numerous tantra success events .. focusing real hard on a pre-chosen point when a wet dream is about to happen, which redirects the energy so that it is not lost. A few nights ago, I thought it was not as successful - I was tired within the dream and a bit late with this reflex of focusing on the crown. On the other hand, this allowed me to experience the whole process step by step. Previously I had thought the wet dream would start from the mind and then propagate to the body, after which there's no holding back anymore. However, the redirection of the fluids into the nerve system is more physical and more literal than I used to think. Also, it seems that this sharp focus more like teleports the fluids up to the crown, rather than causing them to propagate up the spine and through the brain. This also caused some confusion earlier.

In one of the recent dreams, I had gotten a new body. Met a couple of friends, who wanted to test it out. I was busy doing something, while they dragged out a howitzer and started firing at me. Didn't pay much attention to them at first. Finished what I had been doing and told them that it probably wasn't a very good idea. Should have the body gradually become used to it. They let me go and I was relieved. By that time, they had fired 5 shots, all of which had barely missed.

In another dream, I tried to move like Boston Dynamics Wildcat. Got to go pretty fast, but while at it, I guess the dream body shapeshifted. When I stopped and opened the door at the summerhouse, I found myself in a human body without clothes.

Yesterday evening there was a large jolt of consciousness within the physical body. Jolts this large have been pretty rare so far.