Quite a few moments of realization during the past days.
I realized something simple and obvious about how tension is formed and how geisting works .. how fear causes it to become worse. This is one of the mistakes that I made on the previous cycles.
Say a disturbing image pops up in the mind. Your adblocker reacts and closes it right away, or you try to move the annoying popup away so it wouldn't disturb the great peace emitting from the wallpaper. Each time you make the disturbing image go away, you invest energy in it. The more energy it has, the more it affects your state of mind when it reappears. Tension is the hole in the energy field, the hole from where you have taken the energy to make the popup go away. The more energy you have invested in the popup, the more tension you feel. Where there is tension, there will be illness. Anything with enough energy will manifest. So, if you keep pushing it away, it will manifest in some way or another.
Perhaps even a better example of its behaviour would be an object in your orbit. The more you push its apogee (most distant point on the orbit) further away from yourself, the more elliptic the orbit becomes and the more kinetic energy the object has in the perigee (closest point on the orbit). The more kinetic energy the object has in the perigee, the more it affects you.
Anyway, the idea is to observe the disturbing image as intensely as possible as early as possible. Because when you observe it before it has enough energy to manifest, you're safe from geisting it. With enough empty (thoughtless) observation, the image loses form, which is an exothermic process (emitting heat). If the mind image has already manifested in the material world, then it takes a lot of intensity, focus and observation to actually make it go away.
A few days ago I started using the following technique: I would focus on the top of my head until the point of focus becomes fixed enough (an anchor point). Then I would focus on a place in the body where there's tension and observe the place from the viewpoint of the anchor point. I would observe the tension as intensely as I can. Yesterday I meditated like this for about 30 minutes, during which, the body fell asleep once. Tension dissipated as heat.
Today I walked to the school building and found it too hot with the jacket. A T-shirt and a thin sweater was enough. An hour of walking and I didn't get cold. It was 2 *C in the sun and probably around -1 *C in the shadow. I noticed that since my mind had not been focused during the walk, no additional heat was produced. So, by the arrival, the reaction of my right palm had slowed down a bit but the usual feeling of cold just wasn't there. Perhaps for a split-second or two, it appeared but then dissipated again.
Also I recognized a pattern that has always been there throughout this life. I have constantly ignored and stepped away from project management. Until yesterday I realized that I was alone in the project and that the project is doomed unless I take the empty throne of project management. Focused on detachment from everything that I had grown fond of. Realized again how free I am and how many possibilities there are for doing something space-tech-related, which has been an obsession since birth. Realized I actually had no responsibilities that I had not taken with my free will. So far I've tried a lot of different things but no project leading or management.
Dreams have been very vivid recently and for the past 4 mornings, I have had total recall of the night's dreams. Though, during the day I have usually forgotten quite a bit about the dreams.
A few nights ago I had a dream where I wanted to climb to the top of the roof of the sauna building. Caspar went up from the other side of the building .. hadn't done that before. Tried it, but at some place I found I can't continue because all the supports are rotten and empty from the inside .. just shells. So, I just stood there for a while .. kind of wondering how come I'm not falling down. Jumped down and the alarm rang.
A couple of nights ago I had a dream where I looked into the mirror and all my 3 eyes were bloodshot and looked really tired.
Last night I had a dream where I just randomly took a building that was 3 storeys high, made a somarsault, leaped and started climbing. Since I hadn't used my muscles for a long time, I felt them becoming sore while climbing. However, the feeling was not real. I didn't put energy into it, just observed the sensation. I reached the roof in just a few seconds. I had wanted to climb the building before uncle opens the door and exits the nearby building and I actually managed to pull it off. I was amazed but more than that, I looked around and absorbed all the details in the surroundings.
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